The Evolution Issue, July 2021

E THE EVOLVING WOMAN MAGAZINE

Can you imagine losing over 100 POUNDS twice?

+Katherine Tuominen Storyteller and Marketing Strategist

JULY 2021

CONTENTS THE E VOLVING WOMAN MAGAZINE

EDITOR’S NOTE PG. 4

4

DEAR AUNT MAE, PG. 6

Can you imagine losing over 100 POUNDS twice?

PG. 12 BOSS UP YOUR EMPLOYEES, PG. 16 TWO LESSONS I LEARNED FROM CONTRACTING COVID-19, PG. 20

12

CONTACT US T HE EVO LV IN G WO M A N M AGAZ I N E

What If Your “What If” Could Become Your Reality?

PG. 25 T H E P O W E R O F R E T R E AT S PG. 29

E:

editor@theevolvingwoman.co

W: https://duquesadean.com/index.php/evolve-magazine FB: facebook.com/The-Evolving-Woman-Magazine —

EDITORIAL D UQ UESA D . D EAN Editor

CONTRIBUTORS Katherine Beneby Katherine Tuominen Geoffrey Ingraham Leah Lueck Janelle Hutcheson Tanisha Brathwaite Zina Latrece

SUBSCRIPTIONS

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW W/ Katherine Tuominen PG. 34 DEAR DOC,PG. 40 #GOALS: HOW TO J U M P - S TA R T YO U R JOURNEY TO FINANCIAL S U CC E S S & S TA B I L I T Y PG. 44 TRAVEL BUCKET LIST PG. 46 GOD IN FRONT PG. 52

SUB SC RI B E O NL I NE www.duquesadean.com

EDITOR’S NOTE THE E VOLVING WOMAN MAGAZINE

Welcome to the Evolution Issue!

Let’s agree that change is hard! You have to stop being one thing and then you have to become another. And……. Unless you have amnesia, you can’t leave your past behind. That right there is the reason change is so hard.

Whereas, EVOLUTION builds on everything you are; all that has happened and it adapts in a smooth easy way toward the future you want.

Women need to grow in a different way. SPOILER ALERT: We are different from men. Unlike men, when we feel broken, lost or stuck, the last thing we need is to be alone. That only keeps us trapped longer. We adapt faster when we have support from someone who has been there and knows the way out.

When we have a connection and an encouraging community, it helps us to EVOLVE. We invite you to join our Facebook community.

Click here for daily motivation, tips and tools to build the life you dream of: https://www.facebook.com/ groups/882563798901103 In this edition of The Evolving Woman are some bold and courageous stories from women in our community.

These stories demonstrate that we are not alone and they share the best practices women used to evolve their lives.

We hope that this edition inspires you!

Duquesa D. Dean Editor The Evolving Woman Magazine

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SPRING IS HERE.

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PHOTO BY ANDRE FURTADO FROM PEXELS

ADVICE

dear aunt mae, Dear Aunt Mae, I am 39, married with 3 children and my husband is a fortytwo-year-old sex beast. When we first got together in college, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. We enjoyed each other in the morning, somedays at mid-day and often at night.

We got married 12 years ago and even then, we were passionate about each other. Recently though there seems to be a growing divide between our sexual desires. He wants to go every other night, but I am quite fine with just twice a week. I am terribly afraid that if this continues, I won’t be able to keep my husband at home. Can you please help?

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Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

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Dear Evolving Woman, Many couples secretly struggle in this area, so I am happy you wrote about this topic. It is not uncommon for sexual desires to change as we navigate through different seasons in our lives and since this pandemic added another level of complexity, I personally believe there are many other persons also struggling to find their new sexual equilibrium.

While I hope this season in your marriage passes soon enough, I do have three suggestions that might help you along the way. Firstly, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. There are sex therapists out there and if you would seek counselling for any other area in your marriage why not find an expert for this area. Secondly, if you are only able to have sex once a week, MAKE THAT ONE TIME COUNT. Bring out all the tricks and keep it SPICY. Lastly, speak to your spouse about your current sexual needs and limitations. Be honest, listen carefully and be prepared to compromise. If you ask me, compromise is the missing ingredient in many unhealthy marriages today.

Dear Aunt Mae, I am preparing to graduate from high school and my boyfriend of 2 years is asking me to prove my love for him by sleeping with him on his birthday August 19th . Most of my friends are sexually active and have been for some time but I don’t

know what to do. I really wanted to wait until marriage or at least until after college before having sex, but I doubt my boyfriend will wait that long. My parents and I have already talked about contraceptives yet I am hesitant. Any advice?

Dear Young Evolving Woman, Sleeping with someone for the first time or at any time for that matter is a big deal. I am not clear as to why you have doubts but the fact that you do, suggest that you are not quite ready, and guess what?

That’s fine. You are still young and shouldn’t feel pressured to have sex no matter who is already sexually active or simply because the guy you are dating wants to sleep with you.

There are many risks associated with becoming sexually active and it is important that you explore them thoroughly and be honest with yourself as to whether you are ready to take your relationship to the next step. If you boyfriend can’t wait for you to decide about your own body, simply tell him “Bye Felicia” or like my goddaughter would say “Boy Bye”. Take your time young lady. As you evolve into the woman you are going to be there will be many more opportunities for you to explore sex. Don’t allow social norms, peer pressure or an impatient boyfriend make you do something you are not comfortable doing.

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Photo by Dziana Hasanbekava from Pexels

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EMPOWERMENT

Can you imagine losing over 100 POUNDS twice?

Welcome to my life. This is the first time I am writing about my weight loss journey, and I hope this helps someone who may be struggling in this area.

BY: KATHERINE BENEBY II

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I remember when, in grades 5 and 6, I was teased for being “fat”. Whether eating my lunch or simply sitting in a chair, there would be a joke. Thankfully, I had a good support system at home to help me build my confidence and handle the uncomfortable moments at school.

High school was somewhat better, but I was glad to have those days behind me when in 2012 I left Nassau to go to university in the United States.

Before leaving, I had my annual checkup.

When I went on the scale I was over 400 lbs. I couldn’t believe it. I never actually followed my weight and thought, “How did you even get to this kind of weight in your 20’s”? This was a true wake-up call.

Once I got settled abroad, I began working out at my university’s Wellness Centre and watching my food. Without an official plan, I just tried to find my way.

I eventually got a trainer who helped me to further reach my goals with a basic diet plan and three days of physical training per week.

When I came home to visit during Christmas I was already seeing a difference, and others were as well. By the time I graduated in 2014, it was obvious that I had dropped a lot of weight.

So there I was, at the lightest in my life with over 100lbs lost. I should have been happy, but often lived with the fear of putting the weight back on. And guess what? I did!

Between 2016 and 2018, I regained the weight. Although I moved back home with a greater awareness of healthy liv-

ing, I had less control than at university. I easily fell back into old habits of not preparing healthy home cooked meals and exercising. The result? Eventually I was at almost 400lbs again.

I made attempts to take my weight in hand when I joined a workout program where I was required to work out at least twice a day, but this didn’t work for me.

The scale barely moved, and I would be lethargic most days because of the intensity of workouts.

I remember lying in bed one night in October 2018. I wasn’t happy with how I looked or felt. “Enough was enough.” I knew I needed to explore other options.

I started by researching local nutritionists and locked in with one that I felt would be a good fit for me.

This decision changed my life. Food and nutrition are everything. It doesn’t matter how much you exercise, if you don’t learn how to manage your food you will be wasting your time. My nutrition coach equipped me with the knowledge, tools, and resources needed to succeed. I learned about food combining, different ways to eat, and had tutorials on how to make healthy drinks and meals. I also got the right equipment (a blender, food processor, etc.) to add creativity to my meal preparation.

Other programs gave me basic food and nutrition tips with more focus on exercise, but coaching provided a deeper understanding of food and nutrition. I’ve learnt the importance of nutrition over exercise the long and hard way.

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Guard your thoughts and emotions – Instead of feeding my fears, I place my energy in speaking life and affirming myself. I say things like, “I will keep the weight off” and “I will be in the best shape of my life by 30.” Our thoughts play a key part in our actions. Willpower and determination are needed to stay the course.

Experience makes a difference -The first time I was just trying to find my way. The second time I had the benefit of past knowledge paired with proper structure and support. Knowing what went wrong the first time made it more possible to achieve and maintain my goals.

Equip yourself with knowledge, tools, and resources – I understand the science of nutrition better than before.

Also experiencing different ways to eat and knowing how it impacts my body has been empowering and solidifies my commitment to continuing a healthy lifestyle going forward.

Don’t beat up on yourself – Many times on this journey I’ve been hard on myself - when the scale doesn’t move, or when I put on weight. I’m learning to not take it too seriously and enjoy the journey.

Consistency is key – In anything in life, consistency makes a difference in continued growth. A lot of people see me now and say, “Girl you look so good; tell me your secret,” and don’t realize this has been an up and down journey

Love yourself wholeheartedly – The first time I lost weight I got a lot of compliments, but I didn’t have true happiness within. Don’t put your happiness and fulfillment on the scale, instead do the work of loving yourself in whatever state you are in physically.

I know this will be an ongoing battle, but I am prepared to stick with it because I am worth the fight and so are you. Don’t ever give up on yourself!

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for over 10 years.

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So, here’s what I learned after losing 100 lbs, twice:

BUSINESS

BOSS UP YOUR EMPLOYEES Just the other day, my colleagues and I were discussing the value organizations place on the new employee orientation process and on providing consistent customer service training. You or someone you know has probably experienced it; showing up for work at the new job you scored and asked to shadow another employee who will show you the “ropes”.

BY: DUQUESA DEAN

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Believe it or not, organizations place the enormous task of getting their new employees to buy into their vision, mission, values and culture on another team member. Often, this person is unlikely to have been trained to properly teach them.

As a self-employed or small business owner, I encourage you to treat your company like an already well established brand. By creating and putting into practice the right processes and systems, you will be building your company on a strong foundation.

It is a mix of classroom sessions and daily or weekly huddles where employees are reminded in smaller group settings of the company’s core customer service policies and expected behaviors.

Organizations that offer company orientation sessions find that they make a strong and lasting impression on new employees.

I strongly encourage business organizations to create the service culture they want to see in their organizations and not leave this crucial step to chance.

When companies take the time to orient new employees properly, the new employees get the sense that the organization is serious about achieving its objectives and deliberate about employees aligning with their vision. They get the opportunity to help shape the new employee’s attitude and perspective. The employee learns firsthand how the company came to be, what the organization is all about, where it is headed and how the employee fits into the overall picture.

Organizations can leverage this orientation process to frame the new employees’ mind before they are introduced to their role, peers and customers. In this way, the new employee is able to form their own opinions of the organization rather than immediately being influenced one way or another by their peers.

Success starts from day one. The employee orientation session sets the tone for why providing great customer experiences is vital to the organization’s bottom line.

Can you really leave your company’s future in the hands of employees who don’t fully understand or accept your vision?

While formal classroom training is needed at least twice annually, a consistent customer service training program extends beyond formal training sessions.

Applying this keeps the customer experience as a focal point of daily operations and reminds your employees why they are at work which is to provide the type of satisfying customer experiences that lead to repeat and loyal customers.

Employees know when you are serious about your service standards; they can see it in your daily actions, in the actions of the company leaders, managers and policies. It is therefore essential that those who own/lead organizations to walk the service walk rather than just talk the talk.

The new employee orientation process and continuous customer service training work hand in hand. Set the correct tone from the onset. Strong, skilled and creative employees with the right attitude have expectations that should be met. You otherwise risk losing them to an organization and a culture that respects their drive.

Investing in nurturing new staff with the tools for success, will result in a return on investment that far outweighs any initial costs. Their strong performance attitude, their desire to remain challenged and their determination to positively contribute their best will directly increase the business growth.

I close with the words of Simon Sinek “When people are financially invested, they want a return. When people are emotionally invested, they want to contribute.”

Duquesa D. Dean is a Certified Corporate Trainer, Speaker and a Transformational Coach. She is an Associate Trainer with the International Board of Certified Trainers and a certified Coach,

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Speaker & Trainer with the John Maxwell Team.

Duquesa is the author of four books “The Evolving Woman”, “Chase Your Dreams”, “Sister, Stand Up Again & “Bruised But Not Broken”.

To book Duquesa, email duquesa@duquesadean.com or visit www.duquesadean.com

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H E A LT H

Two Lessons I Learned from Contracting COVID-19 Going into 2020 my wife and I, like many of you and millions of other creative professionals, entrepreneurs, leaders and small business owners who were also parents, had big plans for our business and our large and growing family.

BY: GEOFFREY INGRAHAM

We had recently found out we were expecting our 8th child and at the same time our family was mourning the sudden transition of my sister Ashley, just days after her 33rd birthday while I was enrolled in school, working and finishing my first book.

I had extremely high hopes for the plans we had in motion for our business to take us to the next level and the freedom that we’d have to do more with our kids. Little did I or anyone in the world know or expect that COVID-19 was about to shut down and change the whole world literally overnight.

Suddenly, infections and death tolls climbed to the hundreds of thousands each day, which led to travel bans, no public or small gatherings including schools, millions of parents and students had to work and learn from home at the same time. Hundreds of thousands of businesses struggled to keep their doors open and people were laid off, including myself…

Did I mention, my wife was expecting our 8th?

We had to become reacquainted with homeschooling. Initially my wife homeschooled our oldest 3 boys but due to school and her work schedule they transitioned into the school system. We now had to learn how to manage virtual learning for our 5 school age students (12th, 9th, 6th, 5th, and 2nd), while caring for our 5-year-old and 2-year-old. All while looking for work, trying to grow our consulting and coaching business, all from home at the same time.

During this time, I watched my wife create reality as she was doing a Facebook Live every morning to encourage parents

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that were struggling to adjust to the new reality, we all had to live in because of the pandemic.

I remember watching her and admiring how intentional she was about sticking to it. It made an impact on many people that watched it.

Our son Jordan was inspired and began going live with her for what was called “A Child’s Perspective.” It then led to him writing his motivational journal.

I then realized that even with a pandemic our children and the youth around us are watching, even more so now than ever.

Also, there is still much to give thanks for and there is still work to be done.

One day as my family and I sat down at the dinner table, I started to have a toothache.

After a couple of days of excruciating pain, I made an appointment with my dentist to finally get some relief. Because of the pandemic it was mandatory for me to take a COVID-19 test prior to receiving treatment. I took the test and discovered that I had somehow contracted the virus! I was in complete shock. Everything stopped but so many thoughts flashed through my mind at one time. “Wait…What? How could this happen? What would happen to my family if I don’t survive this?” It was one of the scariest days of my life!

While adhering to the CDC’s guidelines to quarantine for 14 days, I had a lot of time to think and do some serious analysis of where my life, family and career were headed and what type of legacy I wanted to leave.

There were two main areas of focus that really stuck out to me as I went through this process.

As an evolving woman, with great purpose and plans for your life, career and

family I know they will help you step into this post-COVID era more empowered, inspired and motivated than you could ever imagine! Additionally, I encourage you to support the men in your lives by reminding them to complete their annual medical physicals.

Mindfulness

The first was mindfulness. Merriam-Webster defines mindfulness as, “the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one’s thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis.”

According to neurologists, we all have around 50,000 thoughts going on in our heads every day. Each of those thoughts have some sort of an emotion or feeling connected to it. Each of those emotions produce some effect or behavior from, in or on us. Some are very small and unnoticeable, while others have a bigger or longer lasting effect on us and manifest in the world around us.

As an evolving woman that has survived the COVID-19 pandemic, I want to encourage you to begin doing at least one mindfulness exercise such as meditation every day. You’ll become more aware of what is going on in your mind, what’s going on around you and why some of it is happening. You’ll also discover how to change the things you can change, accept the ones you can’t and how to know the difference between the two.

Resourcefulness

The second lesson I learned was about resourcefulness, which means having the ability to find quick and clever ways to overcome difficulties. I always thought that I was pretty resourceful, but this experience gave me a different perspective on resources as a whole, how many I actually have access to and how I manage

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Money is an important resource, but it’s only one of the particularly important resources you’ll need to really succeed and reach your goals. In fact, there are many other important resources that we need to master as well such as, managing our time, our minds, bodies, skills, relationships, tools, and software.

How do you see and use the resources available to you to not only overcome difficulties, but to create environments conducive to your growth personally as well as professionally? What resources do you need to be intentional about managing better?

No doubt, COVID-19 brought about unprecedented changes all around the world. It also brought an unprecedented opportunity to review, reimagine, reinvent and reposition ourselves and businesses for the next phase of life. It’s like the first day of school. You know the feeling of excitement about returning from summer break. You get to see how much everyone has grown and changed over the summer. You get to reunite with old friends and meet new ones, new teachers, new classrooms and most importantly a fresh start with infinite possibilities and potential. I feel the same way about entering this post COVID era.

Just like the lessons and skills you learned in school prepared you for the next grade, there are many lessons that COVID has

You may or may not have contracted the virus but may be pondering what you can do to increase the quality of your life or the legacy you leave with and for those you care about the most.

So, as a woman who has survived the COVID-19 pandemic or life’s difficulties, I implore you to focus on these lessons: mindfulness and resourcefulness and you’ll experience the benefits in different areas of your life.

I went into 2020 expecting my growth and success to be primarily external but a lot of it was internal.

Being more mindful and resourceful are both critical areas that need attention, and as I saw them manifest in my wife’s, children and my life, I look forward to them empowering you to evolve even more as a woman of power, purpose and infinite potential.

And remember, “You Create Reality!”

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If you’re anything like I was, when you think of resources the first thing that comes to mind is money, how little of it we have and how if only I had more my life, family and or career would be perfect. This mentality is a very limiting way of thinking and makes it virtually impossible to reach our full potential in any area or situation we may face.

taught us all and changed the way we live our lives.

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them on a daily basis.

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What If Your “What If” Could Become Your Reality?

As I sit here today writing this article, I think about how, just a few years back, things were completely different for me. Writing an article or having become a published author wasn’t even on my radar. And yet, here I am today, doing things that seemed outside of my reach. Some may say I’m past my ‘best-before’ date, but I decided otherwise—and a whole new world of possibilities has opened up.

BY: LEAH LUECK

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I N S P I R AT I O N

It was a few years ago that I attended a conference where one sentence from the speaker put a whole new spin on life for me. I was nearing my 50’s and was at a point where life had become rather humdrum.

That day, conveying the gist of an article he had read, the speaker said: “People are most productive in their 60’s, followed by those in their 70’s and then by those in their 50’s.” That made me sit-up and tune-in...or actually, tune-out...as my mind started to wonder: “Really?”—followed by: “What if? What if that is really true?”

You see, I grew up in the era of being taught to grow-up fast, get a good education, get a good job, and retire happy. As I often say: “I bought and drank that Kool-Aid.” Although I have enjoyed a successful career in the Information Technology sector, it’s not what I pictured doing all my life. That, along with all the disappointments life threw at me, I woke-up 25 years down the road, thinking to myself: “Who am I?” and “How did I get here?” Years passed in what seemed to be the blink of an eye— and I felt as though I lost myself along the way.

So, the speaker’s words became music to my ears. Could it be that I could still do something with my life that aligned more with the dreams and goals I had as an optimistic teenager leaving high school?

Though it lit a spark of hope, I have to admit, I still felt a sense of doubt, as the “You’re too old—it’s too late”

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thoughts echoed in my head. “If you haven’t done it to this point, what makes you think you will do it now?” I responded to myself, “My inner-drive and zeal— that’s how! My experiences gained from decades of life’s ups and downs are invaluable! My past is someone else’s future. I have lots to offer!”

As I thought more about reasons why people were productive later in life, my first thought was this: when many people retire, they experience greater freedoms (inner and outer)—to be more creative and pursue long-held dreams and aspirations.

Additionally, as women—especially as wives and mothers—we often put ourselves on the back-burner while tending to the needs of others. When our families finally demand less of our time, it allows for the confinement of our personal aspirations to be removed, so they can be inflated once again.

Also, I believe another factor contributing to later-in-life productivity is this: we finally get to the point where we really don’t care what others think about us!

We’re secure in ourselves.

After my inner shift, I began to feel like I had a new lease on my life—and I was going to make the most of it! I felt inspired, energized, and newly invigorated to pursue my long-held dreams and desires.

Since that revelation, I started to upgrade my mindset to the belief that my best years are still ahead of me.

I relish stories of people—who, older than me—are making a difference in the world while pursuing their dreams and goals.

I often come across articles like “Chang-

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ing Channels” from the June 2019 edition of the Washington Post which featured the stories of eight women reinventing themselves after age 50. Suzanne Watson entered medical school in her fifties after raising her four children as a single mother. Ginny Donohue left corporate life in her 50’s to start a nonprofit. Patricia Forehand started doing stand-up comedy after a 32-year teaching career. Ernestine Shepherd, at the age of 71, started training to become a bodybuilder—and in her first competition for novice competitors of any age— won first place!

Stories like these, and the other women featured in the article, all support the truth that there are opportunities for us to reawaken the dreams that we may have put on the backburner—or up to now—have not been confident enough to pursue.

Now in my 50’s, entering the entrepreneur world, I am meeting more and more women who are stepping-up and stepping-out to pursue their dreams.

I truly believe we are in an era of “The Woman”—and we will see societies transformed as we take our stand.

So I wonder: is there something you have thought about doing but haven’t done yet? Maybe because you are not as “young and spry” as you once were?

Or, perhaps, it feels more like you need “permission” to finally focus on you - to invest in yourself, your dreams, and desires. If your “what if” is waiting...now is the time to answer your inner call!

Your time is now! As women, it is our time! As the saying goes: “There is no time like the present”—so act NOW! Connect with Leah at: http://leahlueck. com

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Dr. Ghandi Thompson

EMPOWERMENT

The Power of Retreats Do you ever feel like you are running on empty?

Amid a hectic work week, have you ever envisioned yourself lying on the beach with your favorite drink in your hand?

Do you ever yearn for silent moments to unwind and reflect? Are you ready for a break from the hustle and bustle of the rat race we call life?

BY: JANELLE HUTCHESON I can answer a reverberating yes to all these questions and if you can answer yes to at least one I invite you to continue reading.

Erno Paasilinna once penned the words “It is also a victory to know when to retreat”. I wholly concur. When life happens, we often find ourselves hungry for an opportunity to refuel, rejuvenate and reset.

Over the years ‘retreating’ has provided an outlet through which I am able to accomplish this.

The question may be asked, what is retreating? A simple yet impactful definition captured my attention, as I browsed the internet.

To “withdraw from enemy forces as a result of their superior power or after a defeat”.

Although this article is not from the perspective of war, I thought the definition was fitting and could be applied to our everyday life.

In our existence, things happen. We live, learn,

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and grow. We make plans, experience disappointments, we fail, and we succeed. As we encount things that result from our own actions, good or bad, we earnestly try to keep our heads above w It is this journey that can become the enemy of our souls, that is waiting to harm or destroy our v

ences that I had each summer, I have continued the tradition of attending retreats.

One of the most recent retreats I attended was “The Inspire, Create and Activate” Retreat and wha To begin with the location was idyllic. This retreat was held on one of the most beautiful Islands Imagine waking up to the sound of sea waves crashing against the shoreline. There is a smell of is not your everyday life. This location was not only perfect for relaxation, it screamed untouched your customarily racing mind which is now able to unwind or become inspired as you sit on the your pace.

At Inspire, Create and Activate, not only was the environment conducive to relaxation /rejuvenat lowed for soul searching but were also loaded with ‘fuel’ that would allow you to tackle head on

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ter the things we can’t control coupled with the water in our perpetual journey for our lifetime. very being but for the power of being able to

withdraw from it routinely.

As early as primary school I remember attending church summer camps that were located off the beaten tracks. There were no electronic games, phones, computers, or televisions allowed for a full seven days yet, I certainly didn’t miss them.

The week was decorated with activities including sports, chores that were tackled in teams, lots of healthy competitions including bible quizzes, good food, fellowship, and plain good conversation on nature walks or mountain climbs. Even though the camp week seemed to involve endless activities, I returned home feeling, rested and refueled. I was ready to take on the next day and week.

The break from the routine of my life, even as a student, allowed for moments where I was spiritually uplifted and fed with meat that inspired and challenged me beyond my status. This feasting from the table of many speakers and fellow campers gave me an opportunity to fill up and be ready to pour out to someone else.

With all of the experiences of adult life, we may lose ourselves. We can either really don’t know who we are anymore because we’ve given many pieces of ourselves away to others or, because we’ve spent so much time helping others find their happiness, being responsible and moving from one experience to another, we have no idea how to put ourselves back together again.

Realizing now that these routine annual breaks from life were instrumental to the stellar experi-

at an experience it was! in the Bahamas. the natural earth wet by rain drops and a stillness in the atmosphere that makes you remember this d beauty and tranquility. The view of the sunrise and sunset was sufficient to calm and bring peace to balcony by yourself or should you decide to interact with fellow “retreaters “ it is at your leisure and

tion it allowed for refueling. The carefully planned activities and sessions were not just reflective, allife when you return to it.

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Again, at this retreat, maybe it was the absence of the influence of media, the nature walks or just scheduled time for quiet time daily but these breaks made me feel like a new person, more optimistic about tackling life, my tank was filled up and I was ready to hit the road, to continue to grow and to evolve.

It has become evident that health and wellness extends beyond the physical. Science gives credence to this theory. Wellbeing includes physical but also mental and emotional health.

How do we ensure that emotionally we are well and mentally we are strong?

I revert to the quote mentioned earlier by Erno Paasilinna, “It is also a victory to know when to retreat”.

It seems then that it is not only prudent but powerful to allow ourselves to routinely retreat from life as we know it to make the best of our journey.

What might a retreat look like for you? It should be tailor made to your situation. It may or may not look like a week-long getaway or a picturesque hiatus on a beautiful island in the Bahamas. It may take the form of an extended walk for an hour or two on your favorite nature trail. Whatever it looks like, I admonish you to take the time to make it happen. Decide that whether it is individual or group, you will retreat routinely as there is evident power in doing so.

Top 5 Women Retreats for 2021 1. The Evolving Woman Retreat, Bahamas 2. Lady Grey’s Outrageous Paris Retreat 3. Surfing & Yoga in Mexico 4. The Retreat Costa Rica, Costa Rica 5. L’Auberge de Sedona’s new Revitalization Retreats

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E K AT H E R I N E T U O M I N E N

Tell us about you.

Hi, I’m Katherine, a storyteller and marketing strategist. I was born in Finland, and travelled the world, till we settled in Melbourne, Australia. I’m what they call ‘a third-culture’ kid, with a mixed accent and this strange feeling that I’m from everywhere and nowhere at once.

I love living in cities because you never know who you’re going to meet, there’s always something new popping up and there’s this feeling that anything is possible . I value transparency, integrity and sustainable growth - I’m not interested in quick fixes or magic solutions, I crave authenticity! When I’m not helping clients with their branding and marketing strategy, you’ll find me reading, writing and discovering new cozy cafes. The quickest way to befriend me is with a cup of quality coffee first thing in the morning.

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How has being an entrepreneur affected your life?

It’s changed everything for the best! I’ve had to take a close look at who I am, what I stand for and check myself every step of the way so I can be a good leader for my team and work at my best for my clients. It’s really changed the way I view success. In the marketing world there’s this outdated notion of ‘growth at all costs.’ But this mentality Is harmful to our world and fosters fierce competition. So many women I meet are more interested in cultivating a lifestyle they are proud of than blindly subscribing to the hustle and grind. We want community and collaboration and to breathe knowing there is enough room for everyone when we work together.

I think with social media, it can be really easy to fall into the comparison trap and base your value off your productivity. Especially as women we’re constantly having to prove our worth at work and some of those habits that we’ve picked up as employees may no longer serve us as independent business owners. So it’s important to practice introspection and remind yourself that you are enough and you already have everything within you to make this happen. Yes, it helps to have people by your side and to guide you, but ultimately it’s your business. Each decision should always feel aligned to your values and vision.

How do you generate new ideas for yourself and your business?

I’m actually a bit of a nerd and I love reading research reports, business insights and market trends because they show me what’s possible and what people are talking about. Inspiration is everywhere, nature, books, magazines, pinterest, museums, you name it! If you’re feeling stuck on what direction to take in your business or unsure of which idea to go with, refer back to your core values and your ideal business scenario and that will tell you. Ask yourself what would my ideal day as a business owner be like? As much as I love being inspired by different ideas, it’s important to select the ideas that move you closer to making your dream a reality.

What is your biggest fear and how do you manage it? /what motivates you?

I have a massive fear of dying. The kind of fear that makes you go numb and completely freeze when you really think about it. I haven’t really ‘conquered’ the fear yet but I use it to fuel my zest for life. I want to feel it all, and live the most I can while I can. That means being grateful for each day, doing the things that challenge me and not wasting my time on people or things that do not offer value..

It’s one of the reasons I do everything to the best of my ability because I want to give this life my all. This makes me somewhat intense but why not go all-in? I love that blazing brilliance of life.

What are some of your life’s passions?

One of my best friends recently shared a picture of our grade 5 workbook. We were asked what our biggest achievement was for that year and I wrote ‘learning and growing into a better person.’ In some ways nothing has changed, I still find this to be the greatest mark of success. If I can understand myself and others deeper, challenge myself to question status-quo and evolve as a person to make a positive mark on this world, then I’m on the right track. Along with growth, I consider writing and storytelling to be my greatest passion. I love the process of

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I could and encouraged them to recommend me to someone they knew. With every new client I made some adjustments, took their feedback seriously and kept tweaking my services. Now I do this full time and only work with a handful of select clients at once so I can provide highly personalized services. There’s so much false advertising out there, people are skeptical, so it makes sense that they trust their friends for recommendations.

If you’ve tried to do all the things and you’re getting frustrated by lack of progress, you’re not alone! Know that you don’t need all that stuff, you just need a clear message that speaks directly to your ideal client and they will do the promotion for you!

crafting a story and finding the right words to describe a moment and evoke emotion. If we are the stories we tell ourselves then I hope the words we choose inspire movements that can shake the world and spark positive change.

Tell us about your journey to entrepreneurship?

It was kind of an accident. After graduating from Marketing studies a friend asked me to help them with a project, then a family friend asked, then someone in my outside network and it just kept growing through word of mouth.

I didn’t have a website in the first year because I didn’t need one! For a marketer, I didn’t actually market myself, I just focused on delivering the best quality service

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How did the idea for your business come about?

After working as a marketer in the entertainment industry for a number of notable brands like Fox Film Studio, Go-Pro and Microsoft and more, I saw so many entrepreneurs and small business owners getting taken advantage of. I realised most agencies try to fit the small business into a formula because it’s easier for them to scale. This is a clever business strategy for them because it saves them time and money if they can simply ‘plug and play’ the same process for everyone.

However, businesses are unique, so they would often trust these marketing agencies and spend a small fortune on their services only to receive mixed results that didn’t feel right. Marketers have developed such a bad reputation because there is so much false information out there and unfortunately some people are more interested in making a quick buck than building a legacy they are proud of. There’s been a huge push towards social media but ultimately that is just one tactic. That’s why you might be disappointed by your social media person or have lacklustre results hiring your brand logo developer, because without

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doing the initial research and having a clear strategy these pieces will not fit into the larger puzzle of your business. The other thing I see a lot of is information hoarding or breadcrumbing details to the client without giving away the secret formula, which ultimately leaves them in the dark and needing to endlessly renew these exorborate annual packages. I hope to equip every client I work with with the knowledge and skills to be able to market their business so they can make informed decisions without me! Regardless of whether you do it for yourself or outsource help, it’s important to know what components make up a successful marketing campaign.

So, in answer to the question, I’ve made it my mission to give people real marketing insights to counter all that fake fluff out there!

Do you believe there is some sort of pattern or formula to becoming a successful entrepreneur?

I didn’t really have any mentors or models of success growing up. So I spent a good part of my twenties trying to mirror what I saw successful people do, the way they behaved, who they surrounded themselves with. I read every self-help book, looking for this ‘success formula,’ and tried to ‘frankenstein’ myself into someone who could be successful. Ultimately this led to me putting on differ-

ent versions of myself and piecing together fragments of other people’s lives which didn’t fit right on me. While personal-growth is helpful, and I received plenty of great advice, there is no absolute guidebook on entrepreneurial success because we are all unique. Success to me means fulfillment. If I’m doing something that feels aligned to my values, brings me joy and is contributing to a better world than I’ve achieved success.

With that said, perspective is powerful and when I ask myself whether I will remember that thing in five years time, It reminds me what matters most and keeps me focused.

You have to be resilient and determined as an entrepreneur, every successful business owner has ‘failed’ at some stage but that hasn’t stopped them from finding another way round to make this work.

What is your favorite aspect of being an entrepreneur?

Creativity and freedom!

I love waking up each morning with a sense of play and possibility. There’s this concept of ‘flow state’ “opularized by positive psychologists Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and Jeanne Nakamura, flow state describes a feeling where, under the right conditions, you become fully immersed in whatever you are doing.” It really reminds me of childhood when you could just play for hours without a worry in the world. Yes I still have concerns, but I’m also content knowing

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this feels right.

What has been your most satisfying moment in business?

You know, a lot of people assume it’s Forbes. At 26 being featured in a globally renowned magazine should have been a game-changer.

While I was proud to be recognised for my work and grateful to those who made this a reality, I didn’t really feel much. I’d learned the previous few years that chasing status-symbols and ticking societal versions of ‘success’ boxes felt empty in the long-run because there was always a new aspiration to chase. The quick wins and final result didn’t bring me joy in the same way that embracing the process does. True fulfillment for me, comes from when I see the impact I have made to someone’s life. Those satisfying moments are in the daily gestures; like a message from a client sharing how her launch has changed peoples lives, or a voice message thanking me for reminding her how valable her services are, or when that lightbulb moment clicks and they realise everything is about to change. It’s in the little moments of triumph where I can see how my guidance has directly transformed her life that I feel most fulfilled.

If you had to start over right now, what would you do differently?

Honestly, as cliche as it sounds, I wouldn’t change a thing! I’ve taken a lot of risks in my life,

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moving interstate for a ‘pipe-dream job’ in the entertainment industry -which I landed against all odds, working insane hours while juggling a fulltime job and part time studies, quitting a soulsucking corporate role with no prospects lined up and only shoestring savings to get me through. I’ve hit the pavement running - you know that slamming into concrete, blood-on-your-knees kind of pain - and got back up again more times than I can count. Despite all the hurdles and setbacks, I believe those lows reminded me what I was capable of and highlighted what mattered most. This contrast has made each success even more fulfilling. I think I needed to learn those lessons to be where I am today and I’m proud of this journey so far!

TO THE WOMEN WHO DARE TO DREAM OF MAKING THEIR MARK, THE ONES WHO BELIEVE IN A BETTER WORLD, I SEE YOUR INNER STRENGTH AND IT’S TIME TO SHARE YOUR STORY.”

What would you like your legacy to be remembered as?

Sparking stories that matter, is our mantra. I believe everyone has a story that deserves to be heard. I would love to be remembered as someone who sparked unique conversations, inspired positive change and helped women to share their message in a way that resonates with their community and creates a beautiful impact on the world.

What programs do you have in the pipeline and how can women find more information?

Absolutely! If you’re a female business owner, who wants to make a positive impact on this world, I’d love to connect!

If you would like to find out how we can work together, You can book a time that suits you best here, the times are based on your timezone and converted automatically.

These are 50 minute strategy sessions which help you overcome the marketing problems you’re stuck with and shows you the next steps to move forward. I always ensure these are value packed, so regardless of whether we work together you have clarity on what to do next to captivate and convert your clients.

You can also email me with any questions at contactme.catalyst@gmail.com.

I would love to leave you with this message “

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H E A LT H

Dear Doc, As a maturing woman, I’ve not been feeling for sex. Is there something wrong with me?

Sexual problems in women are often grouped together under a general term called female sexual dysfunction (FSD). It comprises several sexual health concerns that can be distressing for women, preventing them from enjoying sex.

These sexual health concerns are not considered dysfunction unless they cause distress.

A woman has FSD when she is upset or unhappy about her sexual health.

Female sexual problems include: lack of sexual desire female orgasmic disorder - meaning the inability to become aroused or experience an orgasm or sexual climax pain during sex A woman might have more than one of these issues, which are often related to each other.

The issue can be temporary, short-lived; it may be acquired or it may be life-long. It may be generalized, not limited to certain types of stimulation, situations, or partners; or it may be situational, occurring with certain types of stimulation, situations, or partners.

Women may experience mild, moderate or severe distress over the sexual problem.

These problems may have physical or psychological causes.

General physical health problems causing FSD may include conditions like diabetes, heart disease, cancer, arthritis and nerve disorders such as multiple sclerosis.

Diabetes can be attributed to the lack of sexual desire. Heart disease can potentially impact sexual arousal. Arthritis causes chronic

Sexual function may be directly or indirectly impacted by cancer diagnosis as well as the disease itself. Cancer treatment (surgery, radiation, chemotherapy) and problems with body image after surgery may potentially contribute to several female sexual issues.

Dialysis is also associated with sexual dysfunction.

Some drugs can also affect desire and function. Medicines used to treat high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, depression and pain can affect sexual function.

Gynecologic issues such as frequent urinary tract or genital tract infections may be linked to FSD. Previous pelvic or genital tract surgery causing scarring, decreased blood flow and nerve damage to the genital area and chronic pelvic pain may prevent a woman from enjoying sex.

Aging itself is associated with decreased sexual responsiveness, sexual activity, and libido.

When a woman enters menopause (natural or surgical), there is a marked drop in her estrogen levels. This can cause dryness in the vagina leading to painful intercourse.

Psychological and emotional conditions can drastically affect a woman’s sex life.

Mental distress from stress, anxiety (sometimes work-related), past physical and sexual abuse, sexual trauma as well as depression can all interfere with a woman’s sexual expe-

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pain and along with decreased mobility, may impair sexual function. Hypothyroidism can cause increased problems with lubrication and achieving an orgasm. Neuromuscular disorders, spinal cord injury and multiple sclerosis may have a direct impact on sexual response; and an indirect effect on desire, mediated by arousal disorders or pain.

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Dear Evolving Woman, sexual dysfunction in women is a common and often distressing problem that often times has a negative impact on quality of life.

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riences.

Marriage or partner relationship issues leading to boredom and anger can contribute to FSD. Some women have strong religious or cultural beliefs about sex that prevent them from enjoying sexual experiences.

If the sexual problems last more than a few months or cause distress for the female and her partner, a health care provider may be able to provide some help.

What treatments are available for FSD? The choice of treatment for FSD depends on the cause of the problems. Often, a combination of treatments works best.

If there is a medical condition that is causing FSD, the health care provider is available to talk about what can be done. Interventions such has controlling diabetes and blood pressure and pain relief may remedy some of the sexual dysfunction.

Talking to the doctor about discontinuation or adjustment of medications causing sexual problems should be done before acting independently as other medications may be available.

Estrogen can help with vaginal dryness and painful intercourse and it is available by prescription. Local estrogen comes in very low doses and is inserted into the vagina as a cream or tablet. It also comes in a vaginal ring. Local treatment does not have the health risks of whole-body estrogen because only small amounts of estrogen reach the bloodstream.

Hormone-free lubricants used just prior to sexual intercourse have few side effects and can make the sexual experience pain free and enjoyable.

Some women find that losing weight, eating a healthy diet, exercising, stopping smoking, and getting enough sleep helps increase their sense of well-being and interest in sex.

Additionally, finding ways to be comfortable with personal sexuality, for instance, finding ways to improve self-esteem, and accepting current body habitus, and, changing negative attitudes regarding sex can all improve sexual function.

Sometimes a better line of communication is all that is needed for enjoyable sexual experiences. Talking to a partner about sexual issues helps to identify the problem and often times, its solution.

Some women will require counselling for sexual problems arising from trauma and abuse. If necessary, counseling, alone, by with a partner or even sex therapy, may be helpful.

Additional information and resources regarding FSD are available: https://familydoctor.org/familydoctor/en/ diseases-conditions/sexual-dysfunctionwomen.htmlhttp://www.isswsh.org

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MONEY

#GOALS: How to Jump-Start Your Journey to Financial Success & Stability In today’s global climate where uncertainty is at an all time high, many people have been more keenly focused on financial success and stability. While it may seem to be a daunting feat, it is definitely achievable with appropriate planning and strategy.

BY:TANISHA BRATHWAITE In today’s global climate where uncertainty is at an all time high, many people have been more keenly focused on financial success and stability. While it may seem to be a daunting feat, it is definitely achievable with appropriate planning and strategy.

In this article, I will be sharing with you some invaluable advice that can assist you on your personal journey to financial success and stability. These tips are meant to serve as a foundation for financial planning, which may be further enhanced by professional counsel from your local credit and financial planners.

Phase 1: Budgets – The Building Block of Financial Success Financial Guru Dave Ramsey once said “A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.” More often than not, unexpected purchases and expenses often leave us confused as to where our income goes. And the very first solution that comes to mind to remedy this is the tried and true ‘budget’.

The Oxford Dictionary defines a budget as “an estimate of income and expenditure for a set period of time”. Simply put, a budget lists all expenses relative to your income for a given pay period. If properly structured and implemented, budgets can help you to consistently pay your bills, save and spend responsibly.

Budgets can also assist you in long term financial planning, as it allows you to keep

This allocation allows me to pay what I have to pay (expenses), what I want to pay (leisure) and what I should pay (savings & investments and charity/tithes). However, it is important to note that if your expenses exceed 40% of your income, the other allocations must be adjusted to ensure that you can meet your financial obligations.

I would recommend adjusting what you want to pay (leisure expenses) and maintaining what you should pay (savings & investments and charity/ tithes). It is worthwhile to limit social spending – coffee, lunch and dinner dates – to actively contribute to building personal wealth (via savings & investments) and giving back to God and/or others (via charity/ tithes).

Tip #2: Tailor your budget to suit your pay period frequency Whether you are paid weekly, bi-weekly or monthly, your budget should be structured to incorporate each wage or salary payment that you receive. If you are paid a weekly or bi – weekly wage, it would be useful to split larger expenses – such as rent – evenly across pay periods to ensure that you can cover your bills and still have adequate access to cash for smaller expenses such as gas or groceries. You can also allocate smaller expenses such as monthly subscriptions or personal expenses to a particular pay period, so that once those items have been paid for in that period, funds will not have to be allocated again until the next month.

Tip #3: Use specified figures for fixed expenses and reasonable ranges for variable expenses To ensure that you get the most out of each budget, it is recommended that fixed expenses – such as rent, monthly insurance premiums or loan payments – are specifically outlined. For variable expenses – such as utilities – use a range based on your average past payments. Also, once a reasonable range for a variable expense is determined, you should use the maximum of that range in your budget. This ensures that your allocation would most likely cover the expense, should it actually be the highest part of the range, while also allowing for a budget surplus if the expense is actually lower than the budget indicated.

Tip #4: Track the payment of ALL expenses Recording and tracking the payment of expenses is the completion of the budget. It is especially important for variable expenses, as accurately recording the payment of variable expenses will allow you to determine if there are any budget surpluses that may be re-allocated within the budget. There are a variety of ways that you can track expenses, from the old-fashioned pen and paper to the use of Excel spreadsheets and financial apps on your electronic devices.

Mastering budgeting is an essential first step on the road to financial success and stability, as it creates an accurate depiction of your current financial position and solidifies financial prudence. It is true then that everything you want (in regards to financial success) is on the other side of consistency (budgeting)!

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Tip # 1 Determine your desired budget allocation Determining how to allocate your income depends on several factors, such as your expenses, financial goals and desired lifestyle. The budget allocation that I have found to work best is – 40% expenses/ 30% leisure/ 20% savings and investments/10% charity/tithes.

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track of how your income is allocated and spent. It only makes sense then that your budget is the very first phase in your journey to financial success and stability.

Although the idea of organizing all your income and expenses may be intimidating, it is definitely achievable and manageable. Here are a few tips that I have found to be beneficial in creating my own budgets.

TRAVEL

TRAVEL BUCKET LIST I love traveling!!!!! Who doesn’t?

And….. After being locked down for well over a year, it’s time to see the world.

COVID-19 put many travel plans on hold. Now with the world opening back up, it’s time to explore the world.

Here is a list of ten bucket list places:

GREECE Greece is famous for its turquoise waters and breathtaking sandy beaches. Whether you are looking for an organized beach with sunbeds, umbrellas, beach bars and tavernas where you can party all day long or more secluded beaches with a peaceful environment to sunbathe and read your book, Greece has it all https://www.chasingtheunexpected.com/travel-to-greece-reasons

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ALASKA

ALASKA

Many visitors venture to Alaska to see the jaw-dropping scenery of unspoiled nature, majestic mountains, glaciers, fjords, crystal clear lakes, waterfalls and the National Parks. ... Alaska has some of the world’s most scenic highways like the Seward Highway or Denali Park Road perfect for an unforgettable road trip https://abritandasoutherner.com/visitalaska

GREECE

PERU Every place on Earth is fascinating and unique, but Peru is one of those countries that manage to stand above the crowd.

This place has so many natural and cultural treasures that have fascinated people for hundreds of years and still fascinates them today.

Whether it is through visiting a museum, wandering around a town or village, or hiking to one of the hidden Inca ruins, you will always be surrounded by the strong presence of history and of their cultural influences. https://www.globotreks.com/ destinations/7-reasons-visit-peru/

Photo by Valdemaras D. from Pexels

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ITALY Italy certainly does have much to offer: spectacular cities, ancient ruins, wonderful museums, soaring mountains, great beaches, and beautiful natural scenery.

Most people never consider a trip to Italy because they assume that it will be much too expensive. While travel in Europe in general can be expensive, it doesn’t have to break the bank. There are a number of strategies you can use to help defray the cost. For starters, it is always cheaper to travel in the off season or at least the shoulder season. https://wanderwisdom.com/ travel-destinations

Photo by Griffin Wooldridge from Pexels

New Zealand New Zealand is one of the most gorgeous countries on earth, and even with its modest size, it packs a lot of history, culture, and attractions for us to experience. New Zealand is known for its stunning national parks, dynamic Māori culture, incredible hiking trails, and world-class skiing and surfing. https://www.globotreks.com/destinations/ new-zealand

Photo by Vital1na from Pexels

Switzer land

I TA LY

The amazing natural beauty of the majestic Alps, the placid lakes, quaint villages, cosmopolitan cities and towering castles – that’s just some of what Switzerland has to offer. Add to it some shopping, wine tasting, delectable chocolates and cheeses and it gets even better https://www.makemytrip.com/blog/ the-best-places-in-switzerland#

J A PA N

JAPAN Many visitors from abroad say that Japan is a beautiful country. This is because of the beautiful scenery of the four distinctive seasons, the serene waters, the historic structures, and the food that are even pleasing to the eyes. But Japan’s beauty does not stop here. Customer of keeping public places clean, the well-kept streets and public facilities, and the clean high-tech restrooms also surprise tourists. https://japan-magazine.jnto.go.jp/

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UTAH

The Colorado Plateau is the big, beautiful orangey blotch centered at Four Corners, millions of years and layers of stone laced with canyon-cutting rivers and unlikely art rock.

The feds found five different spits in Utah’s quadrant weird and wild enough to designate and protect.

Sand dunes, petrified forests, pioneer heritage and Native American sites; half a hundred dots on the map with dozens of kinds of low traffic attractions. https://utah.com/destinations

Maldives The Maldives are known as “the tropical paradise” for reasons such as its beauty. This tropical country has separated islands and islands are surrounded by its own lagoon. Each island has pure white sandy beaches.

The sea covers 99% of the Maldives and it is where you can see beautiful fishes and corals. https://www.maldives.com/destination-guides/natural-beauty-surrounding-maldives/

MALDIVES

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CO S TA R I C A

Costa Rica Costa Rica is a rugged, rain forested Central American country with coastlines on the Caribbean and Pacific. Though its capital, San Jose, is home to cultural institutions like the Pre-Columbian Gold Museum, Costa Rica is known for its beaches, volcanoes, and biodiversity. Roughly a quarter of its area is made up of protected jungle, teeming with wildlife including spider monkeys and quetzal birds https://www.google.com/maps/place/ Costa+Rica

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RELIGION

God in Front I was raised with a strong spiritual base and surrounded by a lot of love. Even though my mother and father divorced when I was only 2 years old, they both worked very hard to provide a sense of normalcy for my life.

BY: ZINALETRECE My mother worked really long hours, leaving my grandmother to care for me after school.

My father married twice after divorcing my mother. My two stepmothers were kind and accepting of me and my stepfather was the same.

Even though I was surrounded by a lot of love from both sides of my family, I struggled with accepting the reality of life as I was living it.

At the young age of 7 years old, I defined my parents divorce as a moral blemish on me.

Navigating the normal ups and downs of life through adolescents, puberty, & young adulthood did not equal normal outcomes for me.

In junior high school, I experimented with beer and marijuana. The warnings of my parents to not try drugs did not penetrate my strong assumptions that I could handle things my way.

Becoming a mother at 18, a young bride at 19, having 3 more children by 23, divorced by 24,

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having my last child at 26, and culminating this series of poor decisions with an abortion before the age of 27, I concluded that life was not worth living anymore.

I began living a life of self-destruction. I started drinking a lot and using heavier drugs. By the time I began using cocaine, I knew I was on the fast track to the bottom of the barrel.

By age 28, my skin was grey from dehydration and ash, I only weighed 189lbs, and my children & I were living in an apartment with no food or electricity.

Concluding that I could not successfully die, I also knew I could not go on living this way. I made a decision to fight for my life.

I was introduced to sobriety and a new life without drugs and alcohol.

I began to build anew, reestablishing my commitment to God. I first had to acknowledge that trying to live my life by self-propulsion did not work.

I began to realize that in an effort to guide myself, by myself I misunderstood what reliance on God looked like. I had to re-define the way I had engaged God and how I interpreted His Word. Accepting myself as a spiritual Being having a human experience, I took ownership and began a life beyond anything I had dreamed of before.

I had embarked on a new way of living and I was ready to take all that life had to offer, good and bad, as long as God was in front. But God HAD to be in front. There was no way I could embark on the journey ahead without God’s help and guidance.

Through Alcoholics Anonymous, the 12-step program of recovery and God, I re-learned many of life’s lessons that I refused to learn along the way.

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I finally became willing to slow down and live life from a point of giving instead of a point of taking.

According to the program of recovery, there are many wounds that must be reopened in order to heal properly, but I proved ready for the task.

I owed many amends to my parents, friends, and children for not being there during crucial moments in life.

Whenever life became overwhelming, I remembered the lesson I learned along the way. If I’m diligent and persistent, if I stay on the path, and if I take away bite sized chunks, eventually I will see my way to resolution for anything that seems too big to handle all at once. I can’t change what has already taken place. I have, however, gotten off the path of destruction I was on and therefore have been able to re-write my future.

Along the way I returned to school, completed the course curriculum for a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology, started a non-profit (Zin~ROB, Inc.) using theater to create space for youth to tell their trauma stories, and transforming lives for adults looking to shift negative mindsets and achieve positive possibilities at Life Essentials with ZinaLetrece.

Experiences that have taught me the greatest lessons are: 1. Take responsibility for my own feelings (good or bad). When I own my feelings-no one else has to change for me to get better.

2. Have a solid support system. I am grateful that I put a support system in place before I needed it because…once I needed it I would not have been able to build it.

3. Secure my Godly relationship. Learning to create a personal relationship with God instead of trying to “get it right” with religion has enhanced my ability to hear from & respond to the voice of God. Today, I walk in the footsteps of the path God has set for me. I enjoy a fulfilled life of purpose and destiny.

Every hardship I have experienced has shaped the woman I am and I would not change any part of it, for today I have unspeakable joy!

To connect with ZinaLetrece directly, go to: www. lifeessentialswithzinaletrece.com T H E E VO LVI NG WO M A N

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