The Lookalike virus We had the English comedian, now we have the Slovenian musician. Or is it Turkish? We’re lost. Anyway look at those pics of Onur from Turkey and a member of a Slovenian duo “Slon in Sadež”. It means “Elephant and Fruit”. And there’s a good joke behind the name of the reggae band (nice music btw). Here it goes.
“An elephant is sitting in a tree - and he asks the cherry: “Hey, you, cherry, aren’t you bored hanging in here?” And the cherry replies to the question of the elephant: “No, I’m a suicide cherry.”
“You can sleep when you’re dead” That’s the credo of EASA, right? We wonder what is the minimum quantity of rest that you can survive with. Some participants offered it was two hours early morning and one hour in the evening. Seems just fine… And last night was really worth every second of not sleeping! The “Kassa” deck was converted into a cinema. A movie “Black brush” was shown. Four guys cleaning chimneys, one guy lost all the money… went to drug dealer… a goat whose shit is a drug… won a lotto… goat ate the lucky numbers… and a happy ending. Sounds like Guy Ritchie. Anyways, during the movie the screensaver showed up on the wall, because somebody apparently forgot to turn it off before the start. So this one guy just looked to the guys responsible for the movie and shouted “You forgot the screensaver, YOU LOSERS!”. Dirrty. The talking t-shirts finally spoke up and invited a bunch of people (not all of them sadly – they really have a tiny space for their workshop) to a party. It took a nice stroll by the Danube to get there, and we were met by some hardcore techno sounds coming from the electricity generator. Amazed by that, one Latvian cutie looked at us
and said “You know what, I really like drinking. Why? Dunno, I just like being drunk”. Anyway, there were some nice t-shirts hung in the shop – some people have great design skills down here. We wonder if it is possible to bring your own t-shirt to the workshop and get stenciled? Give it a try. They said they are thinking about selling their t-shirts! Everyone who’s not a freshman in EASA was looking forward for the presentation of the Berguen’05 DVD. It was incredibly hot in the room, we could see sweat drops falling from our noses. And outside was occupied by the hardcore techno… but we survived and gave big applause to the slideshow of crazy pictures and weird videos of last year. Tilly, the chef, was given the biggest applause we think – what a master he was, what a master… and considering that he actually used work in a ship, he would be more than suitable here. The food complaints just never stop… Aaaaanyhow. There were some technical problems as the gas for electricity ran out, but while waiting for new gas to come Swedish organized a pyramid game. Is it their national thing? Brilliant job, Swiss team, it surely was worth the six months you spent on making the DVD. And everyone from last year will get a copy eventually… Danke. It was the “Thanks God it’s Friday” night yesterday, even though every day in EASA is like Friday, birthday and Christmas altogether. So another workshop “Szimpla kert”, led by Paul and Sabina and working on converting courtyards into cool public spaces, went for a stroll through best Budapest bars. The Dutch and Serbian tutors happen to live in Budapest, so believe us, they knew so well where they were taking their participants. The gang back really late, all very happy. We think Paul and Sabina won’t mind giving you some directions, if you are interested! And then in the very end of the night, which actually was a very bright morning already, and some people were doing their exercises (well they were not yet asleep to tell the truth) this handsome tutor showed himself up on the front deck, trashed, holding a glass of beer and vodka and redbull in his hands. He looked at his watch, thought for a moment, and went up for the quote of the day: “It’s Saturday mornin’… So it’s Sunday in Ireland!” Brilliant. And it’s Christmas in Russia, innit? One guy from Belarus accompanied the comedian by lifting an origami frog and kissing it. Sadly no princess showed up – only a bunch of drunk princes. P.S. AND IT’S THE GREATEST EVER NATIONAL NIGHT TONIGHT!!!
The Very Important Question of Saturday morning With the national evenings rapidly approaching, we here at Umbrella wanted you to be properly prepared: After a night of drinking some 10 to 20 samples of a collection of the worlds most horrible and toxic spirits, we’re pretty sure that waking up will leave you with head feeling like it was used as a bowlingball. Now to solve this multinational hangover, you of course also need an international hangover cure. Now based upon what countries you will be visiting we suggest you choose one, or a combination of the hangover cures below. Goodluck! russia “take 15 black pills of any kind, that really helps” according to yuri. Well yuri, we know russians are peculiar, but you just seem to a bit extra-peculiar. slovenia “Take one tablespoon of olive-oil just before starting drinking, it should help the alcohol from being absorbed”. Well that seems to be a lousy technique, obviously you’re not gonna get a hangover when you’re not getting drunk, but then whats the point in drinking? Another one: “Beer, of course. But no! I have a special recipe for a drink that you must take before going to sleep. You have to prepare lemonade with LOTS of lemons and honey, then put an aspirin pill and a multivitamin pill. I had this friend who used to eat dried bread while drinking, and he didn’t have a hangover.” niceragua now these are a rowdy bunch; they advise us to eat mondogo’s soup, which is a thick soup made from a cow’s stomach. With that one should drink a bottle of “ron plata”, which is a really cheap rum. And these should be taken in masatepe, which is a really cheap place. Well guys, we were looking for hangover cures, not ways to make it worse! turkey Now the turkish also advise us to eat a soup: Its called iskembe, and this time its a soup containing chuncks of sheeps guts! if thats not enough it should be eaten with loads of vinegar and garlic. It might solve your hangover, but the extremely bad breath resulting from it will probably leave you lonely for at least a week.
Gossip! You won’t believe this. The Latin American guys reported us a statistics from last year’s Cuban CLEA. TEN girls got pregnant during the event. Who wants to give it a try? The Europeans are welcome, and the presentation of ELEA will happen soon. This one is just as good. A polish couple managed to stay in “Szofia” after eleven, on the deck. They decided to go back at some time during the night. They were going down the stairs and they saw the captain of the ship, totally naked and drunk, sleeping on the floor. It would have been the picture of the year, but sadly no camera was around. Do you know you can use a BIBLE instead of rolling paper, you know what I mean? We heard some people down here think it’s the best choice because of the perfect structure of the paper. Paul from UK went to school with the beautiful Kiera Knightley! And he did see her naked. Find the details out yourselves.
italy italians dont really seem to have a mind boggling hangover cure, they just suggest we take coffee with salt. Well, you cant solve every problem with a cappucino guys... maybe those italian wussies just dont know what proper drinking is!
or squeezed.
sweden one would expect the swedish to be really good at curing their hangovers, we can’t imagine those dodgy home-brewn spirits leave you with a crystal clear head the next morning. But all they seem to be able to come up with, is drinking heaps of milk, at least two litres. They also advise drinking it with coco powder: Now we can’t really take that seriously as a hangover cure of course, its what you drink at your grandmothers!
Lithuania Cabbage soup, “Fanta”, liquid that’s left from pickles, sour milk, champagne, ah, anything will do!
serbia after a night of heavy drinking in serbia (which we previously revealed to involve taking a mere 3 martini’s), the resulting uptown-hangover can be solved by eating greasy fried eggs and yoghurt. That sounds like an avarage breakbosnia now the bosnians have a hangover cure that raises fast to me, i was at least expecting something some questions, they first fill a large drum with involving caviar and saffron. lettuces and acid. then they let it go sour over a period of two moths. the large quantities of liquid latvia that result from this process are said to take now the latvians have some strange hangoaway the pain quickly. This all seems like a rather ver cure: it’s called kefirs, and its basically large-scale and industrial process from a tradi- old milk, and you’re supposed to take about tional recipe; we wonder if bosnians also tradition- 2 litres of it. Now i suggest you’re near the ships railing when you choose for this cure, i ally drink their beers from conveyor belts? can imagine it wanting to come back out rather quickly. poland its called “cormshones” or something similar, the polish are just not that good at handwriting. Its a france sour cucumber usually stored in jars that you’re Coca-Cola, lots of water. Soup! Veggie... A supposed to eat while drinking vodka. The next good McDonalds, the biggest menu! The greasy morning, when the hangover strikes, you’re then fooood is so attractive when you hang over. supposed to drink the remaining liquids from the So, McD is the beeest. jar. netherlands “Don’t brush your teeth, get another beer. No, united kingdom jim suggest we take a bloody mary, on the rocks. brush your teeth with beer.”. No more kissing for those of you who are ignorant, its a cocktail for the Dutch! containing vodka, tomato juice, celery, sherry, salt norway and pepper. So we now know what Chris “3 litres jack daniels” “Oh… I just stay in bed for the whole day, havMaloney will be drinking on tuesday, the morning ing some chocolates and gummies... But it’s not a common habit, haha”. But we count it in. after his drinking match with the belrussians.
belarus the belarus advise us to take 3 oranges, and an unspecified amount of girls. Now the belarus didnt tell us if the oranges and girls should be peeled
Ireland “Uh, just ignore it… You know, mosquito bites – if ya scratch ‘em, it only gets worse. Same with the drinking. You just need to keep on goin’. “, said one of the heroes of drinking down here in EASA.