Post-Covid anxiety

Are we ready to socialise?

Words by Robyn Pratt

While we’re all looking forward to coming out of lockdowns and joining society once again, those niggling feelings of apprehension seem to be dulling the experience. Robyn Pratt, founder of SuperYou Coaching, talks about post-Covid social anxiety and how to deal with it. Over the last 10 years, she has helped professionals bridge the gap between what they have, and what they want from life, be it in a professional capacity or a personal one. And who doesn’t want to get back to enjoying the buzzing café lifestyle?

While writing this article, I am hopeful that Covid-19 will become more of a bad memory rather than a current nightmare. I am grateful to live in Malta where the vaccination rollout has been such a success and, fingers crossed, we can move to more restrictions lifting in the coming weeks.

For many, the news of reopening and returning to “normal” is treasured, but for some, it brings with it a sense of overwhelming anxiety and dread. Where we once welcomed that hello hug, those European kisses, sitting in crowded restaurants and bars, or dancing the night away, many now have reservations of getting too close, for fear of infection. Restrictions have become so ingrained in our daily lives that many of us feel naked without a mask when meeting other people.

The global pandemic has affected everyone in different ways. For some, it has been a tragic time through the loss of loved ones. For others, it has been frustrating watching their livelihood crumble into nothing. There are no right or wrong feelings towards the virus, as everyone has had to deal with their own struggles.

According to a survey conducted in March 2021 by Esprimi for The Richmond Foundation in Malta, 36% of the 4,500 respondents (resident in Malta) reported feeling unusually tired and experienced low mood, indicating signs of depression. This figure has steadily climbed from 25% in June 2020. Across the seas in Spain, an online survey of almost 3,500 reported 15.8% of people now suffer with PTSD, 18.7% with depression, and 21.6% with anxiety. This paints a grim picture of people’s overall mental health.

Moreover, studies have explored how other stressors are adding to individuals’ emotional burdens such as social isolation, unemployment, and economic losses, and working from home while caring for children and other family members. The people that did go to the office may have developed phobias of meeting people outside their immediate circle.

It’s no secret that some people have coped better than others with the isolation brought about by the pandemic. Have you joked about your introverted friend “living the dream” when lockdowns hit, and wondering how your extroverted friends managed to cope? But have the introverts really fared better than their extroverted friends?

At the start of the pandemic, introverts did seem to have the upper hand, doing better through initial lockdowns. In the long run, however, the tables were turned. While it makes sense to think that by definition, extroverts need socialisation to thrive, evidence has shown that extroverts’ mental health has held firm during these periods of isolation while it was, in fact, the introverts that suffered more.

This was mainly attributed to their ability to maintain social activity through apps like Zoom and Clubhouse, as well as problem-solving coping strategies and their ability to seek support from their social network. Introversion on the other hand was more predictive of severe loneliness, anxiety and depression, all of which were known to be stressors during the pandemic.

As our ability to cope with the pandemic and its lockdowns has been so different, so will the emergence from isolation. While there are certainly things everyone is looking forward to – visiting friends, travelling, going back to restaurants, the theatre, gyms, sporting events and concerts – the very thought of these activities may be met with trepidation and anxiety. Reacclimating with socialising, re-learning how to talk to people and manage social awkwardness are real anxieties people are facing right now. Even the most socially anxious and introverted people are craving some form of social contact, but the way we feel about getting it will differ greatly.

Many people have reached out to me for guidance as they have developed new paradigms in relation to the way they feel about the restrictions and the new world in which we now live in. While many are happy about the subtle return to normality, many are anxious about interacting with people again.

“I have gotten so used to working at home and being in my own space this past year that it feels quite scary to think about going out again,” said one young lady who called me to discuss her concerns. There is a brand-new comfort zone which has been created through remote working and efficient food delivery services. I have a sense that this new comfort zone could become a danger zone for many, and one which they feel anxious about talking about, in case others judge them. For anyone reading this who can associate with this, you are not alone!

I have been thinking about some ways that those who are feeling uncomfortable about socialising again could reduce their sense of anxiety and panic at the thought of meeting up once again with other human beings.

If you are experiencing severe anxiety that is impacting your daily life, it is important to seek professional help, however moderate social anxiety can be helped by gradually facing the things that cause discomfort. Deep breathing, yoga, exercise, meditation and mindfulness are all coping strategies that can have a positive effect. Taking up a new hobby will allow you to socialise without the pressure of the level of conversation expected while sitting at a bar.

Start slowly. Do not pressure yourself to start going out and socialising as before for the times have changed and the new now will not be the same as before, at least not in the foreseeable future. Just because some people are eager to jump right in, doesn't mean you have to follow suit. Develop your own coping strategies, add a good dose of self-compassion and do not rush.

Don’t dwell on the negatives. Consider the way our life has improved during this time; there are many pluses that have come along with the challenges. We’ve learnt to adapt to an online life effectively (even though many of us are ready to have those face-to-face meetings). The time we have spent at home has allowed us to create new healthier habits. Don’t forget about the connections we’ve made with new people online, and the resulting communities and support groups of which we have formed part.

One thing we've all learnt is that things can change from one moment to the next, but the one thing that will never change is how we manage ourselves and how we deal with challenges and change. Through challenges we can grow. Make a plan – take small steps and celebrate the wins. Do not focus on the negatives. There are too many of those around at present!