THE
CAT ISSUE
APRIL 2013
LETTER EDITOR FROM THE
Meow.
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INTERVIEW BY TOVA GELFOND
PHOTOGRAPHY BY AUSTIN HOLT
SHE'S SO MEOW LEAH, THE FELINE STAR OF ANCHORMAN 2 GIVES EIDÉ MAGAZINE AN EXCLUSIVE BEHIND -THE-SCENES LOOK AT HER LIFE AS A CAT STAR.
Eidé Magazine: So Leah, what was it like working with huge stars like Will Farrell and Paul Rudd for Anchorman 2? Leah: meow EM: That sounds like a wild ride. Were there any romances with your costars when the cameras weren't rolling? Leah: Meow…meow EM: You did what?! That sounds adventurous. With who? Leah: Meow EM: That's shocking news. Do you think it will get serious with him in the future? Leah: Meow EM: Ok, well that's a way to look at it for sure. What's next for you? Leah: Meow EM: Impressive!
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SEE THE MAKING OF THE CAT ISSUE 3-21-2013
BEHIND THE SCENES
PHOTO BY BEVERLY & PACK
BEHIND THE SCENES INTERVIEWS WITH THE CAT PHOTOGRAPHER AND EDITOR
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WHERE ARE THEY
MEOW? B Y
A U S T I N
H O L T
W E T A I L E D 8 O F H O L LY W O O D ’ S M O S T F A N TA S T I C F E L I N E S T O F I N D O U T W H E R E T H E Y E N D E D U P O N C E T H E L I M E L I G H T FA D E D .
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THE ARISTOCATS For many well-to-do families, the economic crisis hit hard. The Aristocats are no exception: the descendants of this once-lofty brood have finally paid the price for living beyond their means; today, the majority of Madame Bonfamille’s fortune has been lost in elaborate ponzi schemes, tanked investments and overindulgences. Notable Quotable: “It used to be all caviar and amphetamines."
HELLO KITTY We all remember this sassy import: Hello Kitty graced the covers of only the finest elementary school binders when we were growing up (sorry, Lisa Frank). Though the craze has subsided stateside, Hello is still a phenomenon in Japan, where she recently quit a successful career as daytime talk-show host to found a floundering cable television network. Notable Quotable: “And you get a pencil case! And you get a pencil case! And YOU get a pencil case!"
MR. BIGGLESWORTH Following his career as personal assistant to Dr. Evil, Francis Munro Bigglesworth served as an industrial consultant to agencies providing contracted military and security personnel. He lives in an undisclosed location in upstate New York. Noteable Quotable: “It should be brought to the attention of the ---that ------and ---between the dates of ---- and -----. The Committee will not permit the -------contracted ------ overseas.”
TIGGER Since his 2004 victory over incumbant Owl, Rep. Tigger has spent the majority of his time in Washington, D.C., representing the Hundred-Acre Wood’s 15th district on a campaign of “Bouncing, Tax Reform, America, and Bouncing.” He presently serves as Chairman of the House Committee on Ways and Means. Notable Quotable: “Through increases in revenue by maintained standards of taxation and through careful evaluation of necessary social programs, we can look forward to a future where our children are rootingly-tootingly splendiferous! Hoo hoo hoo hoo!”
IN MEMORIAM? C AT F R O M B R E A K FA S T AT T I F FA N Y ’ S Caught in mosh pit at Greenwich Village poetry slam
CHURCH FROM PET CEMETERY Possessed by vengeful spirits of deceased Native Americans
TONY THE TIGER Autoerotic asphyxiation
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SASSY The bitchy cat from Homeward Bound. C’mon, that movie was like, 20 years ago. Wait, yeah— that’s what IMdB says. 1993. How long do cats live? Like, 12? 15 years? So yeah. Kind of a bummer, but what you gonna do. I never liked that movie… It didn’t even look like the animals were talking, and that always bugged me… Notable Quotable: “…”
SIMBA If you could go back in time and drop a brutal dictator off a cliff, knowing what you know now, would you? Once the precocious, determined cub, Simba has proven that absolute power corrupts absolutely. Known as “Supreme and Grand Leader of the Republic,” this former pacifist rules with an iron paw and has been subjected to several sanctions from the United States and its allies. Notable Quotable: [eidé’s legal department would like to inform the Disney Corporation, its subsidiaries and affiliates that any resemblance to copyrighted characters is coincidental and unintentional.]
HOBBS When Calvin decided to shift directions, taking up a full-time job peeing on race car numbers on pick-up trucks across America, a solo Hobbs opted for a different route. Selling off his worldly possessions, he retired to a Buddhist monastery deep in the heart of Tibet to rid himself of the superficial. Notable Quotable: “I never liked that little brat…"
THAT TIGER THAT MAULED EITHER SIGFREID OR ROY Apparently, the tiger is fine. It’s still on display at the Mirage, but they’ve changed it’s name so people don’t freak out when they see it. People have gotten really mean toward the tiger when they realize that he almost ate one half of a Vegas Act. Isn’t that kind of sad? I mean, it is a tiger, you know? What do people expect? Notable Quotable: “It’s a good thing I’m outrageously rare, or I’dve been put to sleep lickedy-split for trying to eat that German guy’s head!”
M R . J I N X F R O M M E E T T H E PA R E N T S Killed in shootout at a Thai brothel
GARFIELD Undiagnosed heart condition
GENERAL STERLING PRICE FROM TRUE GRIT Psoriasis of the liver
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PHOTO BY ADVAIT
CAT DADDY STORY BY LAUREN LADOV
S
itting on the back stoop of the local restaurant I work at, I realized something fishy. A moment into my bowl of grits, a woman, clad in a fur-lined coat, stepped out of a fancy black car, and headed in my direction. “Do you work here?” she
called out. I affirmed, pointing to the restaurant logo on my shirt. She asked, “Does that colony of stray cats still live around here?” “Stray cats? Yeah, sure, I’ve seen them. Not so recently, but I’m sure they still come around that dumpster over there,” I pointed. “Oh, great!”
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The woman teetered towards the dumpster in her high heels and placed a Tupperware down in the corner. As she waddled back toward me she exclaimed,“ I just made this wonderful dish of tilapia in a butter and garlic herb sauce for my family, but had so much left over! So I figured the cats would like it! Who else is there to give it to anyway?” She giggled to herself, getting in her car to drive away. I giggled myself, shocked at this woman’s actions. She could have easily refrigerated this gourmet dinner to give her family the following night, or even offer the leftovers to a hungry human within the homeless community. But instead, her natural inclination was to feed the fat dumpster cats. Felines, feral and domestic alike, may claim hours of our days as the subject of internet browsing obsessions. They genuinely tug at our heart strings, instigating such sympathy we now rarely experience for the members of our own kind. The health and well-being of the feline race is becoming a chief concern, yet we are often lost for words because, alas, we don’t speak cat. But, one man is bridging the gap of this whiskered language barrier. Self-proclaimed Cat Daddy and star host of Animal Planet’s My Cat From Hell, Jackson Galaxy emerges as the nation’s leading consultant on feline psychology. As one might assume, the path into such line of work is a story of mythic proportions: On a dark and stormy night, stray cats in the impound area of a local NYC shelter howled and screeched as if bereaving the knowledge of their final days. Galaxy, an employee of the shelter, grew unsettled by the wails and felt compelled to settle the screeching meows. After an exchange of slow blinks and serious stares, the felines quickly settled into a sleeping silence. It wasn’t a career choice, but a career calling. Realizing he was blessed with different ears attuned feline language, Galaxy’s epiphany led him to channel deep emotions and facilitate emphatic relationships with cats in effort to rehabilitate the stray and ferocious. With a quirky rocker-look, Galaxy made a quick leap onto the silver screen to share his insights with the nation. His tattooed appearance generates a fresh presence for the Animal Network, attracting many viewers including a younger albeit hipper one to both the network and to Galaxy’s philosophy. Sure, with Cesar Milan’s whispering to dogs, it would
only be so long until someone could do the same for cats. But cats are not the same. They’re not man’s best friend, nor known for their “obedient” nature. Cats are known for “sass.” They are creatures of independence, prowling neighborhood streets and dumpsters at will. An owner’s influence can only go so far. But Galaxy is here to help us explore the mind-body bond with our petite furry friends. But is cat-help just self-help? Or do we help cats because we can’t help ourselves? Perhaps a happy cat is precisely what makes a happy home. According to a recent survey from the Humane Society, there are over 86.4 million owned cats in the United States, with thirty-three percent of U.S. households owning at least one cat. Which is all to say, regardless of who’s helping whom and why, Galaxy is in the right business. Covering practicalities like house-catification and scratching solutions, Galaxy’s info-sessions (available on TV and web series formats) demonstrate simple renovations to create a more cat-friendly environment in the abode. But he delves deeper, demonstrating how you can properly pet your cat and read its body language, deal with cat anxiety and feelings of security, and even overcome favoritism. “If you catch your cat hiding in its litter box it’s a red flag.” Real issues. Real answers. Infamous for carrying around a guitar case of cat toys, Galaxy has other tricks up his sleeve, too. Besides being Hollywood’s Cat Behavioralist, Galaxy founded a private consultation practice based in Boulder, Co. called Little Big Cat, Inc. specializing in holistic healing for unruly cats. Today, he can also call himself proud owner and president of Spirit Essences, a flower essence remedy line for animals of all kinds. Sitting on the board for several nonprofits from coast to coast, it is obvious that Galaxy is not just trying to turn a profit and be a TV star. His mission revolves around ending unnecessary cat euthanasia, and by educating the populous on cat health, Galaxy is surely on the right track.
My Cat From Hell returns to the tubes on April 6th so hold on to your whiskers for just a little longer!
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Glow Cats S T O R Y
B Y
A V I
G E L F O N D
Y O U W O N ' T H AV E F U N W I T H T H I S S P R I N G ' S L AT E S T A C C E S S O R I E S U N T I L Y O U T U R N OUT THE LIGHTS.
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No, I'm not talking about laser tag or light-up underwear, (though, when combined they make for an extrordinary event). I'm here to talk about cute little fluffy little adorable tiny glow-in-the-dark kitten friends, brought to you by the research labs of South Korea.
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n an attempt to track the effectiveness of gene modification, scientists used a virus to carry a green fluorescent protein (GFP) into cat embryos, leaving us with normal, healthy, fluffy, meowing kitty night lights. The GFP protien, originating in jellyfish, is used in genetic kitten modifcation to track
the effectiveness of other gene modifications similar to the way colored dyes help scientists track liquids in the body. This glow, specifically, is currently being used in the research of genes that may prove useful in combatting HIV. Cats are susceptible to FIV, a virus akin to HIV/AIDS, which attacks their immune system in a similar way. By genetically modifying resistances into cats, scientists are able to improve upon their understanding of ways to battle HIV in people. This genetic alteration is all done in the embryonic stage and would be diďŹƒcult to track if not for the flourescent protien the gives the adorable little radioactive-looking flourescent felines their glow. So they may not be as readily marketable as naked laser tag, but it's just a matter of time until glow-cats become a regular in the gene-pool of the house cats. It's too good not to have; fluffy little bug eating house cats that are easier to find when lost, and the natural predator of boogy-men under children's beds. Now that's not to say that the cats don't have their own risks on society. Imagine, for a moment, large packs of moving night lights, gathering in cities as a future wild dimly-lit mating call, bringing about their own feline raver culture consisting of natural glow sticks and something only the most avid of cat lovers can describe as music. I even bet that shady looking guy in the back, glowing all cool, would part with a baggy of katnip for some Meow Mix... Though, he says it's his last bag. The city's been real dry since the glow cat raves started and if I have to throw in the Fancy Feast, I'm not sure I'll be able to cover rent. Maybe Princess Whiskers will spot me since I settled that dumpster turf dispute in the alley last week. Anyways... Thanks, South Korea.
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Cats on the Catwalk BY
JAIME
L
LIN WEINSTEIN
The term “catwalk” is believed to trace its origins to the 1800s when narrow walkways were used to connect neighboring buildings during construction and repair. With limited widths and extreme heights, these platforms were only well suited for the innate agility of a feline (and their “righting reflex” credited to a remarkably flexible backbone and the lack of a functional clavicle). And while models have been strutting their stuff down slender stages since late in that same century, it was not until this year that a cat actually graced a professional catwalk.
ily is her name, and Tracy Reese is the designer to whom she owes her current fashion fame. This 4-year-old blue point Siamese rescue made history on February 10 when she walked (er, was carried) down the runway at New York Fashion Week. "As a designer, I draw inspiration from everything around me, including cats," said Reese in a statement. "I loved the idea of incorporating cats into the runway show; cats have a lot of energy, which was the perfect com-
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plement to the models and my new line." The inclusion of the kitty, however, was not solely for the sake of complementary vigor, but was actually part of a collaboration between Reese and pet food brand Purina ONE for its new True Nature of Cats movement – a movement centered around discovering “what the domestic cat was born to be.” With her striking features and highbrow disposition on the runway, Lily proved that cats are obviously born to be models.
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The
Furkids
Mission
TO PROVIDE A CAGE-FREE, NO-KILL SHELTER FOR OUR RESCUED ANIMALS WHERE THEY CAN EXPERIENCE THE BEST CARE IN A LOVING ENVIRONMENT UNTIL THEY ARE ADOPTED.
TO FIND PERMANENT, LOVING, HOMES FOR ALL OUR RESCUED ANIMALS.
FIND OUT MORE AT: WWW.FURKIDS.ORG