Pumpkin Spice Invasion

ISLAND IMPRESSIONS BY FR. TOM PURDY, RECTOR OF CHRIST CHURCH

If you’re like me, you might be a bit concerned that pumpkin spice is some sort of bioengineered virus produced by one our nation’s most powerful enemies. I know biological warfare is a real and present danger, but I’m starting to think that taste-ological warfare might be a thing too. This fall I have been assaulted, more than ever, by the seemingly contagious spread of pumpkin spice. While it used to be limited to Starbucks, it has taken over local grocery stores.

The endcap of every aisle at a local grocery store seemed to bear this affliction during a recent shopping trip: pumpkin spice PopTarts, pumpkin spice tea, pumpkin spice oatmeal, pumpkin spice crackers, pumpkin spice EVERYTHING. It was like some sort of Twilight Zone experience. It was as though somehow pumpkin spice snuck into Every. Single. Food. In. The. Store. And I don’t get it. I mean, I like pumpkin pie as much as the next guy. At Thanksgiving. But now, when we hit September, it’s pumpkin spice all day, every day, until the fat turkey sings.

It occurs to me that this might be a factor of what fall is, or in our case, isn’t. There are a lot of places in our country where the season isn’t multicolored leaves, cool breezes, and a legitimate reason to wear vests. I grew up in a region that experienced fall, and when it comes to the Golden Isles, we ain’t got it. Our autumn is a fair approximation, but it’s not the real thing. We don’t have big piles of crunchy leaves to jump in or frost in the mornings shortly after school starts back up. We don’t have nearly as many days that just beg for chili and mulled cider. Instead we get lovebugs, more hot weather, and the return of sand gnats.

As I’ve written before, I’m not fan of winter up north. I can’t stand the prolonged gray of the winter months. But fall is special, and I miss it terribly. Fall is the last, best show that nature has before the dullness of the northern freeze. That’s probably why it’s so endearing. It’s the last explosion of beauty before winter challenges our ability to endure hardship and suffering. Which is why everyone loves fall, even if it isn’t “our thing” in the South. Social media mocks Southern autumn with its assertions that the first day of fall in the South means absolutely nothing.

We can try to use our orange and gold harvest decorations and cornucopias to set the scene, but it can’t really get us all the way there. This is probably why pumpkin spice has become such a thing. Someone figured out it’s what fall tastes like. And apparently, we can’t get enough of it. It moved from coffee, to beer, and from there it made its way into everything. It’s the lifeblood of the lost season. As we shift from summer to winter, we create fall with each little explosion of flavor in our mouths. If there is another flavor that so encompasses and summarizes a season, I can’t think of it. Sure, we have seasonal foods in every part of the country, but pumpkin spice is now the official flavor of fall.

So maybe pumpkin spice isn’t an engineered attempt to take over the world, and it’s likely not malicious, but it’s pervasive nonetheless. There is no escaping it. And that’s not all bad, I suppose. I’ve avoided pumpkin spice so far, but my willpower is weakening. Maybe I’ll have to get my fall fix like so many other folks. But what to choose? The pumpkin spice latte is a bit on the nose, I think. Maybe it’s time for turkey-flavored ice cream. That could be the next big thing.

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