Soar Magazine - Sept | Fall 2015 Issue 6 by Soar Magazine

SOAR HELPING WOMEN’S DREAMS TAKE FLIGHT

Issue 6/Fall 2015 Edition

EMBRACING ALL OF YOU

EMBRACE YOUR DREAMS

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO EMBRACE ?

AM I READY TO EMBRACE NEW FRIENDSHIPS?

LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU

JUST DO YOU As an aspiring leader, you are often trained to follow models, forge methods and fit molds. Although proven leadership methodology can serve you well as you gain experience, it is the ways in which you implement those best practices that will set you apart as a leader. People want to follow authentic leaders. As you become more seasoned as a leader, it’s imperative that you find your own flow in leadership. You can develop your ‘Just Do You’ factor in these ways:

Grow Your Assets Each of us is unique. You have the perfect blend of personality traits and spiritual gifts that God intended for you to have to influence others in a positive way. You must know your top strengths as a leader and lean on them. A mistake that some leaders make is to rely on their natural strengths as only gut instincts rather than developing them as assets. Your natural personality, spiritual gifts, and talent inclinations are great leadership drivers, so make them as strong as possible through focus and practice. If you aren’t sure what your strongest traits are, invest in assessments like DISC, Strengths Finder, Spiritual Gifts Inventory or a 360º Survey. Once you determine your assets, engage them with honor – they are God’s gifts to and through you.

Confront Your Inadequacies Just as everyone has strengths, we all have shortcomings too. Whether you refer to them as weaknesses, liabilities or challenges, ignoring or denying that you have them will not benefit you. Using them as excuses or allowing them to discourage you won’t serve you well either. If you feel insecure or inadequate, it is often because you are more focused on your weaknesses than strengths in the situation. Although you should be aware of the hard and soft skills that do not come with ease for you, don’t give them priority. Instead, set goals to improve them one-by-one as a growth opportunity. Although your strengths should always be the assets that you lean on, you shouldn’t allow inadequacies to become leadership liabilities. Let Go of Expectations Expectations of yourself and others can either build you or break you… keep them in check. If expectations aren’t helping you, they are most likely hindering you. Let go of past failures, losses, opinions and regrets that may trap you into striving to fit into a package of perfection. Stretch goals and high bars are good to set, but be sure that you are realistic with yourself. No one can do everything at one time with no help. You don’t have to fit into someone else’s

leadership mold of assumptions or expectations either. Define who you want to be as a leader, and let that be your standard. God created you. He guides you. He is your moldmaker. You do you. Flow in Your Gifts Now there are distinctive varieties and distributions of endowments (gifts, extraordinary powers distinguishing certain Christians, due to the power of divine grace operating in their souls by the Holy Spirit) and they vary, but the [Holy] Spirit remains the same. (1 Corinthians 12:4 AMP) God enabled you with a certain, specific skill set with intentionality. Trust your instincts that endowment, along with your education, experience, and expertise have nurtured in you. When you flow in your gifts, you will lead with more effectiveness, ease and enjoyment. Each of you has been blessed with one of God’s many wonderful gifts to be used in the service of others. So use your gift well. (I Peter 4:10 CEV) You have much to offer your community as a leader. They deserve an authentic relationship with you. Be confident and trust yourself to be yourself. You have what it takes to be an incredible leader – Just Do You!

Dr. Sheila Cornea is a leadership coach for ladies. As an author and speaker, her mission is to empower leaders to thrive with excellence, ease and enjoyment. Sheila offers free courses, coaching and community for ladies who lead at www.gutsygraceleaders.com/community.

HELPING WOMEN’S DREAMS TAKE FLIGHT

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FIND INSIDE TABLE OF CONTENTS

JUST DO YOU

EMBRACE LAUNDRY DAY MARIA GONZALEZ

LISTING OF OFFICERS, MISSION STATEMENT

THE 3 COMMON MISTAKES THAT KEEP YOU FROM YOUR FITNESS GOALS AND HOW TO FIX IT

PUBLISHER’S NOTE WELCOME TO SOAR!

VOICE IT! LET’S FACE IT

LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU 5 BENEFITS OF EMBRACING WHO YOU REALLY ARE

AM I READY TO EMBRACE NEW FRIENDSHIPS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO EMBRACE ?

JOIN OUR TEAM! VISIT OUR WEBSITES

SHIFT 2015 HIGHLIGHTS

AMA COMO ERES Y AMARÁS

HELPING WOMEN’S DREAMS TAKE FLIGHT

A publication of the Center for Emerging Female Leadership. Visit us at www.cefl.org or on Facebook

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LISTING OF OFFICERS SOAR EDITORIAL ADVISORY BOARD

Rev. Dr. Toni G. Alvarado Rev. Enid Rios Rivera Grace Church International, CoExecutive Pastor, Primitive Pastor, My Sister’s Keeper Foundation Christian Church, CEFL Advisory for Women, CEO, Targeted Living Board Member Coaching & Consulting, President www.primitivechurch.org www.drtonialvarado.com

Shae Brynes Passionate Storyteller, Teacher, Activator, and Co-Founder of Kingdom Driven Entrepreneur.

Dr. Sheila Cornea Pastor of Leadership, Dwelling Place Church International, and Leadership Coach & Consultant, Gutsy Grace Resources www.gutsygraceleaders.com

SOAR TEAM

Rev. Dr. Elizabeth D. Rios, SOAR Publisher, CEFL Founder

Sandra Almonte Contributing Writer

MISSION

Rosalind Humphreys Perez Contributing Writer

Silvia Arvelo Contributing Writer

Maria Gonzalez Contributing Writer

Special Thanks to Luis Castillo of www.lcphotography.me for our fabulous cover page and Board of Director Photo Shoot!

Soar Magazine is a digital publication of the Center for Emerging Female Leadership, Inc (CEFL). The mission of CEFL is to help develop leaders of excellence and integrity through education, scholarship, service and networking for personal and professional growth. It seeks to partner with organizations to help identify and develop leadership worth following and help individuals become leaders others want to follow. Soar Magazine targets women influencing others in society be it at home, church, government or marketplace who want to lead from a Christian world-view. Soar equips women to recognize, utilize and maximize their unique calling for such a time as this. Soar Magazine is published four times a year and our vision is to help women’s dreams take flight.

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PUBLISHER’S NOTE No, this doesn’t happen overnight and many times it is a long process that needs to be carefully nurtured by what you feed yourself so that your belief system changes and who you surround yourself with so that you have people around you who love you in your totality. We are fully loved and embraced by God and our goal should be to fully love and embrace ourselves. This is what this issue is all about… helping you reflect a little on why you need to embrace all of you and shift things in your life that will support the person you believe God is calling you to become. The first thing to work on is yourself. “MY FRIEND, I ASK, ‘WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO QUESTION GOD? DOES THE CLAY HAVE THE RIGHT TO ASK THE POTTER WHY HE SHAPED IT THE WAY HE DID?’” (ROMANS 9:20 CEV) For a long time, I asked God why? Why did you make me this way? Why do I have curly hair? Why is it that I reflect so much, why can’t I just be like people who go with the flow? Why is it that I notice details that others don’t? Why do I have to work so hard at my weight? Why? Why? Why? Then one day I would say in my mid30’s (Lord!!!) I learned that I was unique, designed by my God for a specific purpose and I was wired exactly the way I needed to be for the task ahead of me. It is even harder to accept all of who you are when others have a problem with the way you are. But once you realize that as God’s child you are fearfully and wonderfully made you will learn to embrace all of you…flaws and all.

HELPING WOMEN’S DREAMS TAKE FLIGHT

So as you read this issue, my hope is that you will start believing that you are a rare, one-of-a-kind, valuable and precious woman. To help you learn how to be successful at embracing who you are, I want to give you some suggestions: 1. Speak good things about yourself. Declare what God’s Word says about you. For example, say to yourself, “I am the righteousness of God in Christ. I am made acceptable in the Beloved. God formed me with His own hand, He loves me, and God doesn’t make mistakes. 2. Avoid comparing yourself with other women. God must love variety, or all of us wouldn’t look so different. He has created each of us differently right down to our fingertips. We can look to certain people as good examples to follow, but even then, good traits if duplicated will manifest differently through our individual personalities. 3. Focus on your potential instead of your limitations. Refuse to

concentrate on your weaknesses except in an effort to turn them into strengths. Keep your flaws in perspective. People with a high level of confidence have just as many weaknesses as those without confidence, but they focus on their strengths instead of their weaknesses. 4. Learn to cope with criticism. If you dare to be different, you’ll have to expect some criticism. Going along with the crowd when you know in your heart that God is leading you in a different direction is one of the reasons women don’t succeed at being themselves. You won’t be comfortable in your own skin if you go against your own convictions. You are a woman who is perfected and complete in Him. When you start to believe that, you will no longer feel that you are lacking anything or that there is anything wrong with you. Remember this: God will never anoint you to be anyone other than yourself. God can never bless who you pretend to be. Let now be your time to go forward and be set free from the torments of comparing yourself with others and trying to be someone you’re not. God is proud of who He made you to be! So go ahead girl, throw yourself an “I Love Me” party, invite the friends you feel love you too and embrace all the beauty that is you! P.S. If you have a party invite me, if you live far, post it on our page! I celebrate you! With Love,

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VOICE IT! DON’T FORGET WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU. After every issue let us know what impacted you, what made you go hmmm or if you took action on something because of what you read. Your voice matters. Let us know on the Soar Facebook page, on our website www.SoarMagazine.Com.

HELPING WOMEN’S DREAMS TAKE FLIGHT

SHARE YOUR VOICE IN THE FOLLOWING PLACES:

Facebook Soar Magazine www.soarmagazineonline.com

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EMBRACE YOUR DREAMS The first thing that comes to mind is a hug; to hold someone. But how do you embrace life, the part that defines who you are? Life is often like a plate-spinning juggle for women. The focus is on a specific plate, for just a moment, before gears shift and another plate needs attention or a spin. The multitask gift women possess can become exhausting, discouraging and even disheartening.

In the quest to embrace all of me; you know all the quarks, lumps, stretch marks, skin tags, mistakes, discoveries, mysteries, beauty and finally the acceptance of the woman I have grown into, I somehow missed out in one important area. In my focus to develop others, I’ve forgotten all about my dreams. It seems ridiculous to embrace dreams in your 50s. For years I’ve been told, “Perhaps one day,” or “do you still think you can do that”? My dreams seemed to be ridiculed or thought of as childish. I was admonished to be realistic and look at responsibilities that came with age and children. The share of big dreams was shushed, laughed at or deterred by the minds of those I admired. Was it really silly that I was still holding onto my childhood desires to be more?

I am a witness to women who are pulling out the dreams that they have shelved. With great determination, they have begun to dust off the cobwebs of doubt and the dust of fear. They’ve begun the evaluation of what can be and have reinforced it with the positive, self-talk that comes with the anticipation of experiencing something new.

As I canvassed other women about their dreams, I noticed a growing trend, a shift within the sisterhood community to want to pursue some far-out, huge size imaginary futures. These women have decided to embrace their ideas and to shut out all the negative voices. Hope radiates from their faces as anticipation swells up inside of them once again. One after another,

Life threw her a punch. She had a breakup and was betrayed. Life slapped her. She was bypassed by a promotion. Life dropped kicked her heart. She miscarried for the fifth time. Life brought her to her knees. She was diagnosed with a potentially terminal disease after she saw the loss of a loved one to something similar. Life happened. Good and bad altered her child-like expectations. Her desires have been tainted by some hurtful events, and the enemy’s strategic plan to cripple her has worked.

HELPING WOMEN’S DREAMS TAKE FLIGHT

What are some of those dreams? You may wonder. They are the dreams that long ago made a little girl’s eye twinkle. They are the dreams that previously occupied a young teenage girl’s mind and filled her with excitement. They were the dreams that once upon a time made a young-adult woman invincible…until life happened.

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The bible echoes over and over again, that God has a plan for you. However, because of all of the noise in your life, you see it as a sweet fancy for those special few that God will pick. (God must sit on His throne, with one hand on his forehead, shaking it from side to side.) He knows that His word is for all, but for some reason, you think it is for someone else. You do not believe that it is for you. You are convinced that He couldn’t possibly be thinking or talking about you. I can hear you now, “Plans? You should see my life Roz!” I thank God that He doesn’t see our limitations. He always sees our potential. Before you and I were born, He thought of each of us and planned a great life. The problem lies in your belief or lack of. Close your eyes for a moment. What was the wildest dream you had about something fantabulous that you should be doing? Were you supposed to be a teacher, a dancer, a nurse or a writer? Were you supposed to travel to countries across the globe or begin an orphanage or a rescue mission for teen girls? Did your dreams include setting up a program in the inner city, owning your own business or having a platform with you as a speaker that would fill stadiums? To embrace your dreams is to acknowledge the God sized-ideas that He has already placed inside of you. To embrace your dreams is to accept that you are equipped by God to step into your destiny. To embrace your dreams is to step out in faith and know that God will lead. To embrace your dreams is to tread where no other

woman has gone before and be confident that God has got your back. To embrace your dreams is to be obedient and know that it is more important to do what God expects of you and not care about those who say you can’t! Do you hear me my sister??? God is searching throughout the earth, waiting to see if you will be one of the brave queens within His kingdom that will get dressed with courage and spiritual boldness. He’s waiting for you to show the devil that life hasn’t beaten your God-given dreams out of you. There are several things you can do to embrace your dreams. 1. Identify them. What are the things that make you angry, cry or are passionate about? What makes you feel like you can make a difference? 2. Write each dream down. 3. What do you envision yourself doing? Write it down. 4. Pray over your dreams. Envision yourself doing each of them. 5. Believe that God will make them come to pass. Thank Him. Don’t worry about the how. When you begin to embrace your dreams, God can begin to pour in the ideas and guidance needed. Don’t let life or the devil rob you from a fulfilled life. Become a hugger of your destiny. Grip your dreams tightly. Hold on for dear life. Be eager and become hopeful with good expectation. Embrace the freedom to dream again, to hope again, to want again. It’s okay. I give you permission. I dare you to embrace your dreams.

Roz Humphreys is a freelance writer and motivational speaker. For over 30 years, Roz has encouraged women of all ages to recognize their value and potential. Her no-nonsense attitude laced with Latin love, has steered and encouraged women towards wholeness. Her educational resources and women’s forums continue to motivate women to pursue their passion and purpose. Roz is the Director over the women’s ministry in Faith Church, a megachurch in the Northeast, located in western Connecticut. Roz and her husband Richard are native New Yorkers who have embraced New England’s beauty and charm. They have 2 young adult daughters.

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CONSIDER JOINING US NEXT YEAR!

Highlights from SHIFT 2015

HELPING WOMEN’S DREAMS TAKE FLIGHT

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HELPING WOMEN’S DREAMS TAKE FLIGHT

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LEARN TO

EMBRACE ALL

OF YOU…FLAWS & ALL HELPING WOMEN’S DREAMS TAKE FLIGHT

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Ama como eres y Amarás Sólo aquel que comenzó la buena obra en ti la perfeccionará día a día. Las expectativas de cómo tienes que ser siempre son del mundo y no del que estableció el propósito en tu vida.

Cuando abrazas esta realidad y te amas tal como eres puedes amar a otros plenamente. Tu capacidad para amarte y dar amor no será limitada ni estará condicionada a la percepción evaluativa de otros sobre tu persona. El amor por ti misma es completo y real. Vivirás como deseas vivir y amarás como deseas vivir. No quieras solo existir; Vive, Vive la vida en abundancia y ama como eres que para eso te ha sido dada la vida. Si tienes la voluntad, el carácter y la intención de que rinda fruto; amas como eres y amarás.

Noris Johanna Borges Torruellas

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Embracing Laundry Day By Maria Gonzalez of Gracefulorder.com

Hi Ladies! This month it’s all about embracing yourself here at Soar and that includes embracing who you are and even knowing who you are not. So today I will share with you how to embrace laundry day. Just kidding! I don’t think even the best wordsmith could help you conjure joyful emotions towards laundry day. However, we can all embrace a little more organization in our lives and believe it or not, a cute organized laundry closet can make doing laundry a bit more “embraceable”. This month I wanted to share some of my favorite tips for organizing laundry closets for those of you (like me) that have a smaller area to work with. Use vertical space for storage by adding shelves. When we purchased our home, the laundry closet had one shelf above the washer and dryer. We added an additional two shelves to maximize the storage right up to the ceiling. This made a huge difference and using wire racks was an economical way to make the space more useful.

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USE THE SIDE WALLS FOR EXTRA STORAGE. I added a few small shelves and two-tiered baskets to hold more products and for little decorative touches. I added these metal adhesive labels just for decoration.

ADD A CLOTHESLINE TO DRY SMALL ITEMS. I added a retractable clothesline to dry tank tops and some other pieces that tend to shrink in the dryer. In the corner, you can also see that I hang my cleaning gloves from a hook and a clip. They dry faster and they are out of the way.

ADD A DRYING BAR. The clothesline that I added doesn’t hold larger pieces of clothing and I have literally used every corner of this little green closet. I added a shelf with hooks on the adjacent wall to hold shirts that are meant to hang-dry. HELPING WOMEN’S DREAMS TAKE FLIGHT

The hooks are from the Young House Love line at Target. They have the cutest hooks and shelves.

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ADD A MINI TRASH CAN. I found this small trash can at Target and it is perfect to throw away dryer lint or little wrappers that I find in the boys pants before washing.

ADD STORAGE FOR LOOSE CHANGE. These little buckets from the Target dollar section, hang from a hook and they hold change, buttons and clothespins. pants before washing.

KEEP EXTRA HANGERS IN CLOSET. Rid your master closet from all the extra hangers and bring them into your laundry room. I keep kid and adult hangers in the laundry closet to make putting away laundry easier and also for drying damp items in the drying hook as soon as I take them out of the dryer. I hope you enjoyed these quick tips so that you can embrace the spaces in your home (even the laundry closet) by adding practical touches and a little decoration here and there. Seriously, it’s the little things that make a big difference. HELPING WOMEN’S DREAMS TAKE FLIGHT

DECORATE YOUR LAUNDRY CLOSET. A small space like a closet, is a great space to try a wall color that you love but don’t want to commit to putting in a main living area. If you change your mind about the color, it is quick and inexpensive to change in the future. Add matching baskets that are functional to give your space a cohesive and bright feel. Although my baskets are not all the same, they are all white and they brighten up a space that is otherwise in a pretty dark corner. ISSUE / FALL 2015 EDITION | PAGE 17

THE 3 COMMON MISTAKES THAT KEEP YOU FROM YOUR FITNESS GOALS AND HOW TO FIX IT If you’re not seeing the fitness results you’ve been wanting, it might be time to take a look at what you’re doing – or not doing. Your overall fitness should be something you take time to think about and work on. Why? Because it involves a few aspects that need attention. There are three major components to your overall fitness. Exercise variety, rest & recovery, and nutrition. They need to be balanced as a whole and separately.

EXERCISE VARIETY If you’re on an exercise routine – that’s great. If you’re doing the same exercises or aerobic classes every week – that’s not. The reason is your body adapts to exercise quickly. It only takes about two weeks. After that, your body is so accustomed to the routine it doesn’t have to work as hard as it used to – or at all!

HELPING WOMEN’S DREAMS TAKE FLIGHT

You need to keep your body challenged. The way to do that is to vary the exercises and intensity. For example, if you run every day change the intensity by doing short sprints. If you take aerobic classes, change that up too. Start taking classes that involve resistance training and alternate between the two. The point here is that you don’t want to be doing the exact same routine week to week.

Your exercise routine should also include stretching. Being flexible is just as important as being strong. So a balance of strength, cardio, and stretching is what you want. REST & RECOVERY This part is very important and one that is often overlooked. If you exercise every day without giving your body a break, it stays

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in a constant state of stress. This causes the body to produce cortisol. Cortisol is what helps your body accumulate fat. So – no – you should not be taking multiple classes every day. And you don’t need to do resistance training for two hours a day unless you’re preparing for a body building contest. If you do resistance training, your body needs at least 24 hours of rest.

healthy eating habits, along with exercise, for that to happen. It won’t matter how much you exercise. Horrible eating habits will not get you the fitness results you’re looking for.

peak fitness. If one area is lacking, the other areas will suffer.

Take a few minutes to evaluate your fitness. If you haven’t started a routine, go ahead and start. If you have a routine, make sure The good part about nutrition that you’re keeping everything in is that you don’t have to change balance. everything all at once. Change one habit at a time. For example, you could start by drinking more water. Once that becomes a no Muscles can be overworked. Over brainer, start adding vegetables. stressed muscles can lead to inju- Continue until you’ve substitutries. You know your body better ed all the bad eating habits with than anyone else. If you feel you good ones. strained a muscle give it time – at least two weeks – to recover be- The one thing you don’t want fore using it again. If it’s still giv- to do is skip meals especially if ing you problems, see a doctor to you’re on an exercise routine. ensure nothing is torn. You need those calories for your workouts. The human body is an Take a day every week where you amazing creation. If it doesn’t TAKE A DAY EVERY don’t exercise. Your body will get enough nutrients to burn WEEK WHERE YOU thank for it. fat, it will burn muscle. The body DON’T EXERCISE. will do what it has to in order to NUTRITION “survive”. YOUR BODY WILL When asked about fitness goals, THANK FOR IT. many people will say “I want to So there you have it: Exercise valose the fat around my waist”. If riety, rest & recovery, and nutriyou don’t already know, you need tion. You need all three to be in

Sandra Almonte has been a Certified Fitness Trainer and Group Fitness Instructor for over 10 years. And a Certified Health and Wellness Coach for over 5 years. She’s also a Copywriter, since 2009. Sandra has written many articles on health, fitness, and nutrition for publications in print and online. Her writing is mainly for wellness and fitness companies who market to other businesses.

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LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU 5 BENEFITS OF EMBRACING WHO YOU REALLY ARE BY TANYA CAMILLERI

I have struggled with my different-ness since I was young. I grew up trying to change the things that made me different in order to fit in. At home, my parents were doing their best to raise three young children, which I can imagine would’ve been very hard.

LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU, NOT FOR ANYONE ELSE. DON’T LET THE FEAR OF BEING JUDGED, REJECTED OR DISLIKED STOP YOU FROM BEING YOURSELF.” ~SONYA PARKER

HELPING WOMEN’S DREAMS TAKE FLIGHT

I can still remember the first time I asked myself, “What is wrong with me?” I loved to take my time and have everything neat and tidy; my family, on the other hand, was the complete opposite.

ed with me, as I was making the morning more difficult. We were also running late. I wanted to take my time and not be hurried. This caused us to run even later and made my parents even more stressed. I felt so guilty to have made them feel like this. I wanted to belong and feel loved by them, so I tried my hardest to change the things about me that seemed to cause them stress. Trying to change these things that were a big part of who I was created inner conflict, and I would have big tantrums as a result. This would cause my parents stress as well, so eventually I stopped expressing my feelings.

Being neat and tidy reflected in the way I would dress myself. One morning, when I was getting ready for my first day of school, my parents gave me socks to wear that didn’t match. I got very upset, and although they tried to understand what the problem was, I became ashamed of the things they couldn’t help but be frustrat- that made me different. I was shy.

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I loved lots of time on my own. I I wanted my boys to love and had dark skin. accept themselves for who they were, differences and all, I wanted to be accepted to avoid but how was I to teach them if judgment and rejection. During I didn’t even know how? I needschool, other kids teased me for ed to be the example. not having many friends. I felt so hurt and alone that I started I finally discovered some things a constant battle within myself that empowered me to embrace to change my different-ness. my differences. I was amazed at the life changing effect it had I forced myself to be more social. on me. I searched for ways to change the color of my skin. I stopped When you embrace who you giving myself the alone time I are: wanted. I stopped expressing 1. YOU STOP LIVING IN FEAR. how I was feeling. The choices I make in life are no This went on for the next twenty longer dependent on what othyears. Since I spent my whole er people will think, whether I life trying to fit in, I never really will be judged, disliked, or regot to know my true self. It was jected. I just focus on being me. incredibly exhausting and I was In the past, I feared what people very unhappy. would think of me for choosing It took having kids to wake to have a few close friends inme up. The love I had for my stead of a huge social circle and two boys gave me the drive to spending a lot of time on my search for another way to live. own. Now that I accept that this

is me, I feel a sense of freedom. Trying to be someone you’re not is exhausting. Being your true self is a courageous thing to do in a world that is constantly trying to change you. When you realize that living the life you want is more important than pleasing other people, suddenly you feel free. 2. YOU FORM DEEPER, MORE CONNECTED RELATIONSHIPS. In the past, I’ve had my fair share of not-so-good relationships. People would connect to the fake me, so they were never genuine relationships. I was able to sift through my relationships by loving my differences and being myself. This allowed the right people to come into my life who loved the real me. My relationships are now all fulfilling and genuine.

I WANTED TO BELONG AND FEEL LOVED BY THEM, SO I TRIED MY HARDEST TO CHANGE THE THINGS ABOUT ME THAT SEEMED TO CAUSE THEM STRESS. HELPING WOMEN’S DREAMS TAKE FLIGHT

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If you want people to accept strengths. I’m a compassionate you for who you are, you first person, which makes me good have to show them who that is. at helping people. I found that this is what I love to do and it’s 3. YOU TREAT YOURSELF my passion. MORE KINDLY. I saw myself as weird so I would After learning this about myself, constantly put myself down I was able to offer my friends and beat myself up. The nega- and family advice when they tive self-talk was painful. needed help. I branched out and started my own blog, which In accepting my “weirdness,” is my main creative outlet where I went from telling myself, I can combine my passion for “Because of my differences, I’m writing and helping people. worthless and no one will ever love me,” to “I have to be true to Once you allow yourself to be myself. The people who really who you are, you’re free to find matter will accept me for who what you’re good at and what I am.” you love to do.

was a weakness. Only recently have I started to embrace it. I now appreciate that it allows me to enjoy time on my own, which is where I’m the most creative. I’ve finally discovered my strengths and weaknesses. I own them and I am grateful for them both because they make me who I am. When you start seeing your “weaknesses” as potential strengths, you develop a whole new sense of appreciation for yourself.

I hope these lessons can help It was so liberating, I started to 5. YOU START APPRECIATING you learn to embrace your feel the happiest I’ve ever felt. YOURSELF. differences without having to When you truly embrace your become a parent to do it— 4. YOU’RE BETTER ABLE TO differences, you begin to find and if you are already a parent, FIND YOUR PASSION. reasons to appreciate them. I’ve then I hope this can inspire you When hiding my true self, always been ashamed of my so you too can pass on selfI could never know my introverted nature, thinking it acceptance to your children.

Over the past few years, Tanya has slowly discovered her true self and started focusing on what really matters in life. She’s not perfect, and she knows it’s easy to forget and get caught in the negative selftalk. She loves ideas and reminders that help her true self shine. Visit her at inthesoulshine.com.

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Am I Ready to Embrace New Friendships?

By Silvia Perez Arvelo

Friendship Corner - A New Regular Column Over the years, I have read several articles that teach how we need to be available and open to new friendships. Some almost at the point of accusing us of living an isolated life or for giving off a vibe that we can’t be bothered with embracing new people. While I agree with some of their points, I do believe that there is some work to be done before we are ready for a new relationship. There was a season in my life where I found myself looking for new friendships. I felt lonely, I felt undervalued and, at times, an “extra” in my friends very busy lives. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t looking for them to drop everything to tend to me, but a little girlfriend time would be nice. I literally pleaded with God to teach me what I needed to do to have healthy friendships in my life. It has always been clear to me that women were created for relationship with other women however; I wondered why I was having such a hard time finding them. My prayers were, “Lord, I am ready for new friendships, like now!” Or so, I thought…. According to Kristen Johnson Ingram (Being a Christian Friend), we need to make sure that we are ready for new friendships. Yes, similar to a new student in school, applying to a new job or even going into a new adventure—we need a friendship check-up (or physical). How many of us continue through life from one

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broken or unhealthy relationship on to the next without stepping back for a moment to make sure that we are healthy enough to move forward? Here are some questions that Kristen suggests that you should ask yourself before embracing new friendships:

a few areas of my life and my relationships with God first. This also allowed me to leave room for restoration in some of my older relationships. You see, I wanted the best friendships that God had for me so I was willing to invest in working on myself first!

1. Do I put the love of God before any human relationship? If it were just “Jesus and me,” could I survive? 2. Am I seeking a friend who has this same priority in her life? 3. Am I more attentive to my own spiritual and psychological flaws than I am to those shortcomings in other people? 4. Am I patient enough to let friendships grow slowly through their natural stages? 5. When people tell me something in confidence, can I be trusted absolutely to keep silent about it? 6. Do I understand that friendships are almost never exclusive, and am I willing to let my friend have other deep relationships without experiencing jealousy or hurt feelings? 7. Can I love the unlovable? 8. Do I have trouble telling the difference between a friend and an alligator?

Since my season of focusing on my needs, I have learned several things that I believe have made me a better friend. It’s important to note that before any of us can move forward and embrace new friendships, we need to make sure that we are in shape and fit to work on the areas that new relationships will require. New friendships require an investment of several resources such as time, money and emotional investment.

I must admit that I was not ready to embrace new friendships in my life but instead, needed to work on

As we start to wrap up this year, let’s work on getting fit to meet new wonderful people and embrace everything that God has for us. I leave you with this question…. Are you ready and fit to embrace new friendships?

Silvia Perez Arvelo

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CONSIDER JOINING THE TEAM OF Passion Christian Church (PCC) is a new, emerging church launched Sunday, April 5, 2015 (Easter) in Hollywood, FL established by the Soar Magazine publisher with her husband. Our vision is to passionately connect people to purpose and the lost to the cross! We are Gospel-Centered, Urban Flavored, Community Focused and Holy Spirit Driven. We are looking for passionate people that want to be a part of what God is doing in the South Florida area. If you are interested in making a difference and finding your life’s calling, you may want to consider joining our ministry team and in particular, right now, we are seeking a passionate person to serve as Youth Director. We are looking for a person who is passionate about working with youth and families in an innovative and col-

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laborative setting. Everything we do at Passion Christian Church is to be done with passion, or we won’t do it. The person interested in this position will have a heart for collaborative ministry and a passion to be involved in the greater Hollywood community and the surrounding South Florida area. This is a bi-vocational position that gives the candidate an opportunity to have another role or job in our community. As we grow, we would like to make the role a bigger one. This is a monthly P/T stipend for this position. Seeking to make a difference? Everything Dr. Liz does with her various teams is to help educate, equip and empower people. If you have learned that you too have a hunger to make a difference and have a passion to serve God’s Kingdom,

perhaps you’ll find a place with us. Below are some areas in which we have volunteer opportunities other than the Youth Director role. Contact us at info@PassionChristianChurch. Com for an interview for the YD role. Or visit us on Sundays at 11 am to see if we are a fit for the type of church family you seek to serve in! We looking forward to passionately connecting you to YOUR purpose! CREATIVE ARTS TEAMS Worship Sound Video/Media Dance/Drama CHILDREN/YOUTH WORKERS Passion Kidz Ignite Youth HOSPITALITY TEAMS Greeters Parking Coffee Bar & Snacks

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