The Local: We Are Winter Garden Edition — September 2023

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WINTER GARDEN SEPTEMBER 2023 7At Your Service Including Dan McCarthy’s army service shapes the way he approaches his business 30 Rucking Awesome Making moves with the West Orange Ruckers 14 Smashing Pumpkin In defense of the spice everyone loves to hate 44 EDITION

See what’s in the Garden

on the Winter Garden App. The has fast become the #1 magazine in Winter Garden by offers fascinating stories with familiar faces. Every issue contains unique stories of the people

has partnered with We Are Winter Garden to share its digital edition on the Winter Garden App. We understand that people spend an average of 6 ½ hours on their phones. (Scary, right?) For our readers, The Winter Garden App is a convenient resource for Winter Garden residents to find local restaurants, events, deals, and more. (Make sure to turn on your push

print edition more than 10,000 copies printed each month and an estimated reach of more than 40,000. The Winter Garden App, has more than 23,000 downloads and our digital edition is shared across all of We Are Winter Garden’s digital platforms including their

digitally or you like to unplug with a good read, The Local and We Are Winter Garden are

10K Print circulation 40K+ Print and digital reach 23K App downloads 34K+ Facebook and Instagram followers
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The

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8 The Lo’ Down 14 Garden Variety Chad Haggerty and David Tran will get you rucking, Troy Tiegs’ spicy journey, American Legion Post 63; and more! 20 Tails to Tell Theo the Golden Retriever o ers cuddles for the soul 44 Eats + Drinks Love it or hate it, Pumpkin Spice is back! Rhetoric Is the latest AI assistant a helpful assistant or a threat to all humanity? 22 Outer Limits Orlando Outdoor Living is changing the way you enjoy the outdoors 24 Softly is Safer Safely Softwash takes the worry out of cleaning windows and roofs ON THE COVER First in the Army and now as a business owner, Dan McCarthy has lived a life of service. FRED LOPEZ 40 32 36 38 A publisher weighs in JAMIE EZRA MARK At Your Service Meet seven locals who are helping others through their service and sacri ce THE EDITORS FRED LOPEZ 34 26 6 The Local WINTER GARDEN

The Lo’Down

E

Everyday, millions of dedicated public servants in small towns and big cities go to work teaching our children and delivering the mail; controlling air tra c in our skies and tra c on our streets. These remarkable people are the lifeblood of our communities. But there are countless others who serve in the shadows, not because it’s their job, but because it’s their passion. Those who lift up others and seldom seek recognition or personal acclaim in return. Throngs of volunteers who show up week after week with their time and talent. However they serve, public or private, they all have one thing in common: when asked why they serve, their answer is, “I wanted to make a di erence.”

What that looks like varies from person to person, but everyone pro led in this issue shared that sentiment. Some are just starting their service journey; others are half a century deep. But in interviewing each of them, I learned a few things that we can all use to better serve one another. Know what breaks your heart and stirs your soul. If you don’t know that yet, then get out there and discover it. And then pin your hours, your spirit, your commitment to it.

Know that dignity is a big deal. That everyone—no matter who they serve, worship, or love—deserves dignity. Don’t stomp on someone’s dignity.

Know that your one pair of feet may make a movement seem impossible but one solid idea, mixed with heart and passion and courage and faith enough to back it, will make the that movement possible.

Know that it takes grit, guts, and courage to make a di erence. Get your hand dirty with the mess of it all. The world will always need people who care enough to make a di erence, and are willing to do the work.

Know that it will never be easy. There is no map. There is no manual. There is no brochure. As cheesy as it sounds, there’s sound reason behind following your heart—what your heart nds to be good, and true, and real is often surrounded by need. And you can help meet those needs. You have the gift of service in your bones. It starts with looking around and asking: What need can I meet? And then be the one who says yes, let me help.

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8 The Local WINTER GARDEN

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Tracey Forrester

Tracey is a community advocate helping individuals, families and small business owners gain access to a ordable legal coverage with LegalShield, as well as help protect against identity theft through IDShield. She has been a resident of Horizon West since 2007 with her beautiful teenage girls, Averie and Bryce. Cofounder of Horizon West Professionals and founding member of the Rotary Club of Horizon West, Tracey believes lasting relationships start with community.

Ralph Disciullo

Founder of Beacon Mortgage, setting the highest standards in the industry by putting people first. Prior to the mortgage industry Ralph played a key role in the startup of several businesses. Originally from Emerson, NJ, Ralph attended USF in Tampa and now resides in Winter Garden with his wife of 17 years, Sandi, and their two daughters Daniella and Avery. .

Becca

Bradford Owner of Winter Garden Senior Home Care. Becca is a second-generation Winter Garden resident, and her local roots run deep. She is the true embodiment of joy, and loves living the “bubble life,” where her golf cart is her primary mode of transportation. She has dedicated her life to tending to the special needs of our local senior adults.

Pam Thomas

Owner of Pammie’s Sammies, a “thoughtfully sourced, tastefully adventurous” restaurant in the heart of downtown. She is a passionate foodie with a degree in Wine, Spirits, and Beverage Management at the International Culinary School in Tampa. Pam is a staple of the Central Florida community, having operated in Universal Orlando, Dr. Phillips, and now Winter Garden.

Mark

Mark has been a resident of Central Florida for 34 years. He spent over 30 years in the Radio and Television industry and currently works for Boyer Building Corp. as the New Business Development Manager. Interests include cheering on the Bu alo Bills, golf and enjoying the next great glass of wine. He is married to his wife, Gina, and has a “Morkie” named Finley!

Bryan Fifer

Local agent with State Farm Insurance. Bryan is a Central Florida native, Founding President of the Rotary Club of Horizon West, Horizon West Who’s Who Award Winner, and Team Captain for All-Pro Dad. He is married to his beautiful wife Angie and they have two wonderful children. Bryan is highly invested in making Horizon West the best place to work, live, and play.

Angie Layfield

NHA/CDAL

Executive Director at Westminister, a senior living and memory care community in Winter Park. Angie has been in the senior housing industry for over 20 years and brings a wealth of knowledge, experience, and insight to local seniors and their families. Though originally from Maryland, she has called Horizon West home since 2016. Angie and her family reside in Village F’s Watermark.

Iliana Ramos

Jones Family, faith, and passion are the three major pillars of Iliana’s life. She and her brothers own Empire Finish Systems, of which she is the active CFO. A retired marathon runner, she has transitioned to the more tranquil pastime of acquiring house plants. When not working, she loves spending time with her amazing husband, Charlie, discovering new food, traveling and quiet evenings on Lake Apopka..

Kirsten Harrington

Kirsten is a freelance magazine writer who just returned to Winter Garden after two years of living in China. She loves to travel and explore new places, especially where food is concerned. You can often find her out on the bike trail, in the kitchen with her family, or checking out the local food scene and sharing her finds on Instagram, @ wintergardenfoodie.

Jamie Ezra Mark Publisher jamie@emagency.com 352-425-6400

Nicole Spooner Account Executive nicole@mpactorlando.com 407-595-4793

EDITORIAL

Heather Anne Lee Editor heather@emagency.com

Rheya Tanner Art Director

Josh Clark Designer

Wendy Mak Designer

Andrew Ontko Designer

Evan Miklosey Web

Fred Lopez Chief Photographer

Heather Luxemburg Writer

Mark McWaters Writer

Daniel Granat Social Media

Kate McDonald Marketing

WE GET BETTER WHEN YOU GET INVOLVED Know someone extraodinary? Want to write for the magazine? Got a story to pitch? Send ideas and images to: thelocalwg@emagency.com WINTER GARDEN
2023 Vol. 3 No. 01 PROUD MEMBERS OF ©2023 Em Agency. All rights reserved. Published monthly. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited. Opinions expressed in the articles are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Em Agency. Reader submissions have been edited for length or clarity. Advertising of products does not imply endorsement. Em Agency can not be held liable for the business practices of these companies. ADVERTISING
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10 The Local WINTER GARDEN
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14 The Local WINTER GARDEN

Good Ruck!

This tight-knit group is carrying the weight of life together.

Beads of sweat pour o Chad Haggerty’s head as he hefts a heavy backpack o the ground and over his shoulders. And yet, his smile stretches wide and happy, thrilled to be embracing the suck, as he calls it.

Chad—along with David Tran—is the co-founder of West Orange Ruckers. Rucking, for the unfamiliar, involves walking with a weighted backpack, known as a ruck, typically weighing 20 to 30 pounds. Sure, it may sound a bit crazy, but the West Orange Ruckers have a motto that says it all: “Ruck Around and Find Out.” It’s an invitation to challenge oneself and embrace the unknown. Whether they’re braving the summer heat or chilly morn-

ings, the group gathers regularly to ruck together, forging bonds that extend beyond the trails they walk.

For Chad, rucking has been a life-changing journey that began with the COVID19 pandemic. Faced with challenges in his job and social life, Chad decided to invest in a GoRuck bag and started walking the local trails as a way to cope with stress. Soon, he realized that this activity had the potential to bene t others. “I’m a social person; I need that connection and didn’t have it for the longest time. So I decided that instead of taking the lazy route with COVID and sitting down every day and doing nothing, I invested in one of the GoRuck bags and a weight. I started walking the trails

and getting out into nature. Putting that weight onto my back took all the stress o my shoulders,” he says.

Since its formation in April, West Orange Ruckers has grown to 81 members, ranging from toddlers to 60-year-old retired military veterans. The age and tness diversity only adds to the richness of their shared experiences. From overcoming personal hurdles to nding newfound purpose, the power of this rucking community knows no bounds.

“I think what sets us apart is that we’re willing to do harder things. People look at us like, ‘you’re carrying weight in your bag … why?’ Because it helps us focus more on getting through the chal-

lenge in front of you—if you can get through those harder things, you can get through anything in life.”

The community spirit extends beyond their weekly rucks. Chad envisions his group as a force for good in the community. They plan to organize events where ruckers carry food donations to local rescues, emphasizing the value of giving back. “Our mission is to become better—better members of society, better parents, and better for ourselves,” Chad says.

Get Rucking

West Orange Ruckers meet downtown at the Winter Garden Fountain at 5:30 am on Wednesdays, 7:30 pm on Thursdays, and 5:00 pm on Sundays.

DID YOU KNOW
58,000+ 100-year-old bricks were laid to restore Main Street
SEPTEMBER 2023 15
Recently, the city completed a project to revitalize Main Street and maintain downtown’s historical elements.

Looks like Winter Garden is getting a beauty boost! Not one, but two new salons opened on East Plant Street last month. The Beauty Society (@thebeautysocietyandco) specializes in all things hair—balayage, extensions, cut, color. lashes, waxing and more. Meanwhile, across the street, Zen-Diva Tanning & Spa (@zendivatanningspa) is bringing Brazilian tape tanning to the block along with a variety facials, massages, and Botox. When you’re done treating yourself, take a walk over to Suite 1700 and visit the brilliant new Sweet Peeks Imaging studio (@ SweetPeeksImaging) and delight in 3D/4D/5D pregnancy magic! Over near The Village, there’s a new reason to smile. Literally.

Artful Orthodontics (@artfulorthodonticsfl) opened their practice at 1995 Daniels Road. Ok. Back to the food, which is really why you all read this column.

3Natives (@ 3Natives )juice and smoothie bar is now open in Horizon West at 5855 Winter Garden-Vineland Road. Our friends at Playa Pizza (@eatplayapizza) celebrated their first anniversary by letting us put a new distribution rack in their space. Take a free copy of the current issue with your favorite pie!

Schweini’s Delicatessen will open next month at the former Main House Market location on Main Street, bringing German-inspired sandwiches and biers to downtown Winter Garden. They’ll also feature breads for our German friends at Beneficial Breads (@beneficialbreads).

EVOO Fresh Mediterranean Kitchen (@evoo_us) finally opened its new location at 5845 Winter Garden Vineland Road last month. And last, but not least, Andy’s Frozen Custard (@ AndysOcoeeColonialDrive) opened at 1501 Maguire Road. Who’s ready for a #FANdys ice cream social?

SHARE YOUR LOCAL GOOD NEWS!

heather@emagency.com

Mad Hombre

Troy Tiegs grew up in a household that cherished hot sauce. From an early age, he was introduced to the world of ery avors. As a child, even his paci er got a piquant treatment in a vain attempt to wean him o . Little did he know that this spicy journey would shape his future.

After a spear shing trip to the Cayman Islands, Troy’s father returned with an intensely hot sauce. Intrigued, he began smuggling pepper seeds back from the islands to Miami, growing his own peppers, and creating his super-hot hot sauce. Fast-forward to the present day, Troy has continued the family tradition. However, Troy’s focus shifted from heat to avor, using fresh, locally sourced ingredients to craft a unique hot sauce that would stand out in the market. Troy says, “I was aggravated to only ever nd brands of hot sauce made with the cheapest ingredients. I just wanted one hot sauce made with quality, healthy ingredients. So I created it.”

In 2020, Troy and his wife, Jessica, launched their new business, Mad Hombre, with just 100 bottles, all of which sold within hours. Since then, they’ve expanded their o erings to include high-quality apparel, which has become as popular as their signature hot sauce.

As Mad Hombre continues its spicy ascent, Troy and Jessica strive to spread their unique avors across Florida, ensuring everyone gets a taste of their aming success.

16 The Local WINTER GARDEN
MARKET WATCH
Garden Variety

Divorce, Paternity, Child Support, Modification

Allison

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We see things through your eyes.

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“From the rst moment I stepped on House of Hope’s campus, I felt an inexplicable peace—every emotional wound I was feeling was mended with love. House of Hope helped to restore not only the broken pieces within myself but also my relationship with my family.”

Founded 25 years ago by Sara Trollinger, House of Hope Orlando is a residential program that acts as a safe haven for hurting teens. Their mission is to restore hope, love, honor, and structure in the homes of these teenagers and their families. Kris Fitzgerald, a past graduate of the program, shares her experience with The Local: “I had just turned 12 when my mother enrolled me in House of Hope. I was depressed, suicidal, failing school, angry, and lost. I felt

Frequently suspended from every school I attended, I had stopped trying; I felt hopeless.

“Joining the 12- to 18-month program turned out to be one of the best gifts in my life. I took the extended course, graduating at the age of 14. The more resistant I was, the sta only rendered that much more love, guidance, and support to see me through. If not for Sara and the wonderful sta at HOH, I would’ve died before the age of 18.

“Upon completing the HOH program, I returned to my local high school and graduated with high honors. After graduation, I joined the United States Air Force and proudly served my country. Once I was separated from the military, I enrolled at the University of South Florida and graduated Magna

Cum Laude with a double major in psychology and criminology. I went on to earn two master’s degrees from Webster University: one MA in mental health counseling and an MBA. Recently, in 2022, I published my autobiography, Beyond the Silence. I have continued to stay in contact with Sara, Sandy, and several sta members from HOH.

“I can proudly say HOH has truly been instrumental in my journey of life. Even now, in my 40s, Sara continues to help guide me through career decisions and praying for me as I have become involved in public o ce. More programs around the globe should be modeled after HOH, whose foundation has been built on integrity and love for others.”

Get Involved! nationalhouseofhope.org 855-253-HOPE CHARITABLE SPOTLIGHT
Garden Variety 18 The Local WINTER GARDEN
“I can proudly say HOH has truly been instrumental in my journey of life.”

1921. Determined to create a dedicated space, the post embarked on a fundraising campaign for a new home.

In its early years, Post 63 held meetings in various locations, such as skating rinks, garages, and theaters. However, it wasn’t until 1926 that Morgan C. and Blanche Britt, along with B.H. and Charlotte Roper, generously donated a site at 271 W. Plant St. This marked the construction of the Legion building, which has become a cherished community landmark.

Over the years, the Legion building has served as a gathering place for numerous organizations, including churches, civic clubs, homeowner associations, and the Boy Scouts. It has witnessed the growth of Winter Garden, accommodating various meetings and activities that have shaped the local community.

Today, the Legion building stands as a testament to Winter Garden’s rich history. Its exterior, constructed with split cypress logs, has gracefully weathered the test of time. Post 63 continues to call this remarkable building its home, hosting monthly dinners and dances for veterans and members of the community.

The Hugh T. Gregory Post 63, with its storied past and enduring presence, remains an emblem of community spirit and tribute to those who have served their country.

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HISTORY
LOCAL

Tails to Tell

Pawsitive Bonds

Theo the Golden Retriever, 2 years

Since I was a pup, I’ve known that love knows no bounds. My best buddy was a kitten—we’d chase our tails in the yard for what felt like forever. I even showed her how my mama dog used to carry me, but I don’t think she liked it.

One summer, my human took me to Dinosaur World, and I made a towering dinosaur playmate! I kept barking at him to play, but I don’t think he could hear me from all the way up there. Barked my heart out, I

did! But the real journey began when I grew up a bit and became a Therapy Dog. I visit folks in memory care homes, and boy, do I bring smiles. Even if names escape them, they remember me. A nudge, a lean, or a cozy snuggle, and their faces light up.

I’ve got skills, too! As an Occupational Therapist’s helper, I’m not just a pretty fur. I help folks with balance, play fetch for endurance, and o er cuddles for the soul.

Kaytelynne’s my human, and together, we’re a team of snuggles and ball-chasing fun. Throw a tennis ball, and I’m your best friend forever. Tricks? Oh, I’m a fast learner. I’m all about loyalty, smarts, and play. If you ever need a nuzzle or a trick, I’ve got you covered. Woof’s honor!

Does your pet have a tail to tell?

in.thelocalwg.com/tell-tails

20 The Local WINTER GARDEN
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SEPTEMBER 2023 23

That’s where the 30-Day Plant Guarantee comes in.

Safely Softwash is a licensed, fully bonded and insured company. They’re part of a national network— Softwash Systems—that supplies all its members with the latest information, equipment, and superior training necessary to do the job correctly. All of which points right back to the Safely in their name.

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Hiring Safely Softwash is a completely no-risk, no-worry decision. The estimate is free. Plants are guaranteed. The warranty is for five years. And here’s a fun bonus customers always get a kick out of—they provide before and after drone photos of customers’ roofs. And the results can be quite dramatic: I had no idea my roof was that bad! ... Wow. Look at the color of my shingles! ... I forgot how good my house could look!

If your roof needs cleaning, do it the safe way. Call Safely Softwash!

Safely Softwash cleans mold, mildew, and debris o roofs and siding without harming structures or vegetation. In fact, they’re so sure of it that they warrant their roof treatments with a 30-Day Plant Replacement Guarantee PLUS a Five-Year Roof Treatment Warranty in the bargain. How can they do that?

First, because a Safely Softwash roof treatment lasts up to two to three times longer than a traditional pressure washing job. Pressure washing can easily damage shingles from the sheer force of the water pressure required, while Safely Softwash uses pressure comparable only to your standard garden hose.

Second, Safely Softwash uses a proprietary mix of soaps and chemicals to destroy algae, bacteria, mold, and mildew, but like the name says, safely. In the unlikely event that any overspray from our treatment causes leaves on some foliage to wilt or even brown a little, the plants should recover with no harm done.

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We won!

won!

A totally unbiased publisher weighs in on why awards matter, but

matters most.

Awards are great. They’re really fun to win and oh-sooshiny! We at The Local would know — we’ve won a few. As a matter of fact, we’ve won 18 of them in just two short years. But do all those pretty tchotchkes really matter, aside from looking good on our shelves? My answer: not really.

What does matter is that we started The Local because we wanted a community magazine that we, as locals, would want to read. One that celebrates this area and the people in it.

One we can all be proud of. I waited for somebody else to create that magazine. But as the years passed, I realized that somebody might have to be us.

It takes a lot more than splashing the words “Winter Garden” real big on the cover to make a truly local magazine. We don’t ll our pages with generic stories and stock photos like the other “local” magazines. The ones I always throw out with the junk mail — and you do, too. We work hard to make every issue as good as we know how to make it. Awards are just one way to measure if we’re living up to our promise.

The awards that really matter are the ones we get when you tell us you felt or learned or enjoyed something you read in the magazine. We feel the win when when you reach out with a story to share, because you trust us to tell that story right. And we prize each of the businesses that support what we do and want to be seen in our pages.

Like it says in our name, The Local is truly local. It’s owned, written, photographed, designed, and about local. It’s the way we serve this community we love so much. Which may be why it loves us back. And that outshines any trophy.

what
JAMIE EZRA MARK
*So #$&@ what?
26 The Local WINTER GARDEN

ShBig Mr.

• Gold Best Use of Photography

• Gold Best Feature Photo

• Gold Best Feature Headlines (2023)

• Gold Best Feature Headlines (2022)

• Gold Best Writing: Department

• Silver Best Overall Magazine

• Silver Best New Magazine

• Silver Best Overall Design (2023)

• Silver Best Overall Design (2022)

• Silver Best Advertisement for a Client

• Silver Best Promotional Story

• Silver Best Department Photo

• Silver Best Typography

• Bronze Best Special Theme Issue

• Bronze Best Cover Photography (2022)

• Bronze Best Photo Illustration

10 / goals / fourth quarter 2021
Well! Heals in Heels Alyson Chu is using her title as Mrs. Winter Garden to facilitate Healthy Eating, Active Lifestyles.
Oh
Want your business in The Local ? Well, you’re obviously highly intelligent, attractive, smell like fresh-baked cookies, and have a deep love of this community, so reach out to: jamie@emagency.com or 352-425-6400 If your favorite local business isn’t in here, ask them why they don’t care about this community. Go ahead, make it awkward! If you’re one of those, “People don’t read magazines anymore” types? Pssst, you’re even reading the fine print. #localsloverealstories #communitybusinesssupportscommunitymags #ifyoujustscrollyouaredull #whoevenreadshashtags #localsdontreadjunkmailmags #localsshoparound #thereissuchathingastoomanyhashtags #ifyourelocalyoureinthelocal #idontknowwhentostop #wemeanlocalbusiness #awardwinning #bringingiteveryissue #ifyouarestillreadingthisifreakinloveyou Fast acting! Now with 25% more fun! Nowwith VitaminD! Fresh!Smells New!

At Your Service

Service and sacrifice come in all shapes and sizes. Meet seven locals dedicating their lives to helping others.

30 The Local WINTER GARDEN

Mikal Sorel

If you want to know what motivates a young woman to join the Marines, ask Mikal Sorel. The fresh-faced 20-year-old is simply following her grandfather’s Marine Corps footsteps.

“I’ve always been interested in what makes my grandfather the way he is and how he can handle whatever is thrown at him. Once I got older, I gured out that the Marines had a lot to do with this. Now that I’ve been enlisted, I hope that I can share similar experiences with him,” Mikal shares.

Preparing for her journey, Mikal has sought counsel from both active and retired Marines, who have imparted invaluable wisdom. Among the pieces of advice, one resonates the most: “Don’t quit.”

Simplicity in its words, this advice bears profound signi cance, reminding Mikal to persevere even in the face of seemingly insurmountable challenges during basic training.

As boot camp approaches, Mikal embodies the spirit of an aspiring Marine, ready to take ight—

literally and guratively—toward a long tenured career as an o cer and aviator. With her grandfather’s legacy in her heart, she is prepared to embrace challenges, thrive under pressure, and make her mark in the U.S. Marine Corps.

Favorite movie: Almost Famous

Favorite song: “Vienna” by Billy Joel

Favorite book: Where the Red Fern Grows

I want to travel to: Jackson Hole

Favorite podcast: Joe Rogan’s podcast—he talks to di erent people from all di erent walks of life and gives great insight on everything he talks about.

If I were a ghost, I would: Take one shoe and hide it, or unscrew light bulbs just enough that they turn o .

SERVICE / COUNTRY
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SEPTEMBER 2023 31
32 The Local WINTER GARDEN

Chad Burden

If you want to get into law enforcement and make a di erence in kids’ lives, being a School Resource O cer is the best way to do it. Just ask O cer Chad Burden.

Chad has dedicated the last 27 years to serving his local community, handling every call as if it were a family member needing his assistance. So it seems only tting that this husband and father has spent the last two years serving as an SRO with Winter Garden Police Department.

School Resource

O cers are the unsung heroes of the local community, making a di erence in kids’ lives every day. Indeed, schools are like little cities in and of themselves—the halls and lots are the streets, the classrooms are homes, and the kids are the citizens. SROs serve as protectors and provid-

ers of safety for our kids, teens, and young adults, but perhaps more importantly, as role models for many who sometimes have no other positive in uence in their lives.

What do you love most about your police service? The opportunity to meet di erent people and hopefully leave them with a positive experience.

What do you view as the most important day-today responsibilities of the police—and what role in the community do you feel you serve? When an ocer meets a person on a call for service, this call is the most important thing or issue in this person’s life at that moment. We can only hope to meet their needs as best as we can. Often we don’t have a solution for the problem, but we can provide compassion, understanding, and empathy during our interactions.

SECOND SERVING

One condiment I could eat for the rest of my life: Mayonnaise

First movie I ever saw in theaters: Raiders of the Lost Ark

Favorite movies: The Sons of Katie Elder, Open Range, and Raiders of the Lost Ark

Favorite song: Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song” or Black Sabbath’s “War Pigs”

Favorite podcast: Faith Roots with Willie George

If money was no object, I’d buy: A 1972 Chevy truck

Tattoo I would choose: The first letters of my children’s names on my left forearm

Dogs or cats: Dogs

Best advice I ever received: Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.

“Often, we don’t have a solution for the problem, but we can provide compassion...”
SERVICE
/ CHILDREN
At Your Service SEPTEMBER 2023 33
34 The Local WINTER GARDEN

David Johnson

David Johnson swings open the door at the Heritage Museum with a wide, ebullient smile and booms, “Hello! Welcome to Winter Garden! How are you? Where are you from?”

It’s not just a schtick. He genuinely wants to know where you are from. “It’s amazing how people from all around the world nd Winter Garden. On market Saturdays, there are people from England, South America, Puerto Rico, Australia. And they all nd their way here, to this great place. There’s no other town like it, I tell you.”

This is from a man who has only lived in Winter Garden since 2021, but he has already embedded himself deeply in the community as a beloved volunteer, friend, neighbor, and the City of Winter Garden’s O cial Ambassador. Chances are, even if you’ve lived here your whole life, David knows more people than you do.

And that’s a beautiful and wonderful thing. His heart for people and service was born with him in Binghamton, New York in the 1950s, where he was raised by his grandmother in a multi-cultural community. When she passed away, his unofcial family became “a very large network of connected Italians, if you know what I mean,” he says with a smile. “They cared for me, looked out for me, and opened the door to my amazing life.” That life spanned careers in the Air Force, the U.S. Postal Service, and Vice President of the American Postal Workers Union in Washington, DC. He calls famed singer Vic Fontaine a friend as easily as Cesar Chavez, the non-violent leader and activist behind Farm Workers of America. And there’s the three months he spent in a Nigerian prison, charged with economic sabotage. It wasn’t, but su ce it to

say, he’s no longer welcome in Nigeria.

With such a storied life, how could retirement begin to compare? Turns out, even the golden years couldn’t slow his boundless energy and enthusiasm. In fact, the 89-year-old will tell you he’s just hitting his stride.

“This is the very best time in my life! Every day is an opportunity to meet someone new, to volunteer, to help someone in need, to make someone smile.”

And that he does. On any given day, you’ll nd David walking and biking the streets of Winter Garden, dishing out hellos and how are yous every-

SECOND SERVING

where he goes. There isn’t a volunteer opportunity he will say no to if it ts into his schedule, whether it’s the Winter Garden Heritage Museum, the Jessie Brock Center, SoBo Art Gallery, donning a Cat In The Hat Costume for community parades, using his birthday party as a fundraiser,or tirelessly promoting jazz nights at Pilar’s. “It’s like being at Birdland or Blue Note in New York City, I tell you! Thursdays and Sundays, if you haven’t been, you need to come! I meet so many people and get to do so many great things. I’m so blessed, so happy to call Winter Garden home.”

If someone wrote a book about me, it would be called: “Who. True story.”

Most outrageous thing I’ve ever done for money: Gone to Nigeria

Cartoon character I would have a crush on: Betty Boop

Favorite thing I own: A Jean Mason art piece—brings color to life

First movie I ever saw in theaters:

Abbot and Costello

What made me laugh hardest: Smoking marijuana in military

Person dead or alive I want to meet, and what I would ask them: Jesus Christ—why?

Luckiest thing that’s ever happened to me: Coming to Winter Garden

SERVICE / COMMUNITY
At Your Service SEPTEMBER 2023 35
At Your Service 36 The Local WINTER GARDEN

Lee & Alexis Lovette

Happy, healthy, smart, t, and good looking, it’s hard not to admire Lee and Alexis Lovette. Even more so when you discover their deep-seated heart for service. Lee is a former SWAT o cer and Search and Recovery diver, and Alexis is a registered nurse. Together, they own CrossFit Winter Garden.

What drives them is a shared passion for helping others. Alexis says, “I have a servant’s heart and to me there is truly no better feeling than knowing you played a role, even if only a small one, in making someone’s life better.”

Lee echoes that statement. “In my former job, 90% of what we did dealt with the worst part of someone’s day, month, or even life. Now I’m blessed to be the best hour of everyone’s day. Alexis and I have created a community of like-minded individuals that have a common goal of tness, but it’s so much more than a workout.

We’re a family. Nobody gets left behind—that’s the greatest thing about our Wolfpack family.”

Nowhere does this become more clear than the gym’s passion project, Orange County’s rst Special Olympics powerlifting team. “We wanted to break down barriers,” Lee shares.

“At the gym, we welcome everyone … stars, stripes, and all types, I like to say. But this program makes it more than a slogan; it’s a way of life for us.”

For “enhanced athletes,” as Lee likes to call them, powerlifting is so much more than a deadlift, squat, or bench press. It is e ort, persistence, determination, and attitude.

The barbell, despite testing physical strength, also highlights the athlete’s inner desire to improve.

Lee says, “The program is based on powerlifting, but it’s honestly more about mental health and happiness. A sense of ful llment. I have parents and guardians tell me

weekly that their son or daughter has been doing things—good things—at home that they’ve never done. Behaviors change

for the better and health changes.” The strength of the pack is the wolf and the strength of the wolf is the pack, indeed.

SECOND SERVING [LEE]

If someone wrote a book about me, it would be called: “Buckle Up”

Most outrageous thing I’ve ever done for money: Jump out of helicopters to rescue drivers and throttlemen when they crash their o shore powerboats and are sinkin.g

Cartoon character I would have a crush on: Jessica Rabbit

First movie I ever saw in theaters: Big. I’m still looking to get paid to play with toys.

Weirdest fact I know: Chickens can’t walk without moving their heads.

Who inspires me most: My Special Olympics Athletes. They rarely have bad days and take nothing for granted.

SECOND SERVING[ALEXIS]

One food I could eat for the rest of my life: Black beans and rice

Cartoon character I would have a crush on: Johnny Bravo

Favorite movies: Beauty and the Beast and the new Haunted Mansion

I want to travel to: Spain

If money were no object, I’d buy: Trips for all of my family, to make memories. Do I believe in aliens? Yes

My dream job: The one I have.

SERVICE / HEALTH
SEPTEMBER 2023 37

Dan McCarthy

At 54 years young, Dan McCarthy has waged his fair share of battles. The Army veteran served four years as an Airborne Infantry Anti-Armor Specialist in the Army’s 82nd Airborne. “I loved that I actually got to do what I trained years for,” Dan says. “The 82nd Airborne carries on the proud tradi-

tion of being the rst line of defense for the US and her allies. My unit was the spearhead for the Panama invasion helping to remove Noriega from power. Then seven short months later Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait and once again the 82nd Airborne answered the call.”

These days, service for Dan is a little less life and

death, but certainly no less stressful. The owner of Village Airport Van operates a 24/7/365 company averaging 225,000 miles a month traversing central Florida’s roads.

“We have our share of challenges. I love seeing my team “close ranks” and come together to solve problems, like road closures and ight delays, to

help our passengers catch a ight or make it back home safely.”

No matter which uniform Dan wears, service is at the heart of his daily life. “In the Army, service means no one is left behind, and that’s still true today, only I’m serving my customers, my family, my neighbors and friends. On the roads and o .”

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First movie I ever saw in theaters: Star Wars

Favorite movie:

Monty Python & The Holy Grail

One thing I could eat for the rest of my life: Chicken Francaise Luckiest thing that’s ever happened to me: Finding my beautiful new wife and having a second chance at love. Followed only by losing my camera on a London Underground train and later recovering it.

Dogs or cats: Why choose? Both!

Is a hot dog a sandwich? No

Best advice I ever received: From my father, the Latin motto “De gustibus non est disputandum.” He translated that as “About taste, let us not argue.” I look at it like this: It’s OK that you like the people and things that you like. It’s OK that I like the people and things that I like. Neither of us is wrong. No one should force their beliefs on anyone else or belittle anyone for their beliefs.

One thing I would save from a fire: Photos

Favorite quote: “Never argue with a fool.” You will never win the argument and anyone watching will not know who the fool is.

Most adventurous/daring thing I ever did: Quit my job to go into business with my father

Most questionable fashion moment: For my senior prom, I had my hair spiked with frosted tips and wore a leopard-print spandex tuxedo.

SERVICE / COUNTRY
At Your Service 38 The Local WINTER GARDEN
SEPTEMBER 2023 39
40 The Local WINTER GARDEN

Kerry Marquez

The unsung heroes of “service” aren’t teachers, volunteers, or rst responders. Yes, their contributions are valuable, important, and treasured, but there is a group of men and women who y under the radar, whose daily service and sacri ce goes without notice or commendation. They are military spouses. And unless you are a military spouse yourself or know one personally, it’s unlikely you know truly how much these individuals take on while their spouses are bravely serving our country.

Kerry Marquez knows. The K-12 related service coordinator, educator, and mother has been married to Marine Corps Veteran Brandon Marquez for 12 years, a man whose career took him on four deployments, hundreds of

assignments, and countless missions. Hers is a steady, loving, yet re ective voice on service and sacri ce that most of us cannot even fathom.

“The most challenging aspect of being a military spouse is the unknown,” she shares. “Military life can be unstable with a spouse deploying, training, and family moves, but as the spouse, you are the one left to nd the stability for your family and put on many hats while your spouse is away, usually without family help.”

Is it rewarding? “Of course! Especially in the ways you nd strength and depth in your relationship with your partner while being apart and facing challenges, the understanding you feel for your children and life experience they gain, and the support you receive

from other military spouses and families that become family,” Kerry says. “But I do wish more people understood that military families face a lot of transitions and times of adjustment. Social media shows the exciting homecomings with hugs and signs and ags, but it is often a very di cult time for military families after the excitement. You do not go back to the same dynamic as when they left. You have to relearn how to t your spouse back into the family, what roles you’ve been handling that are typically theirs, and also how to help them decompress. You have to balance integrating them back into the family and also understand that they may not be emotionally prepared to step into the roles they had prior to leaving. Deployments change both

SERVICE / FAMILY
At Your Service
SEPTEMBER 2023 41
“As the spouse, you are the one left to fi nd the stability for your family.”

spouses; you reconnect as di erent people and spend time relearning who your spouse is, oftentimes just in time for another deployment. It requires a lot of patience, grace, and communication, as well as support even after the deployment.”

Today, Kerry’s husband is retired and home for good. They’re building a life and a business in Winter Garden and enjoying the freedom of that new life together. But she’s earnest and straightforward about her experience, especially to those just starting their military lives. “The best advice I could give is to make sure you have your own story. Find good friends, your own hobbies and passions. It’s easy to get caught up in your spouse’s life and miss out on things you love while supporting them. You

will be able to be more emotionally available for your spouse when you are taking the time to care for yourself.”

These days, Kerry is incredibly passionate about veterans getting the care they need and helping loved ones recognize the signs of PTSD and TBI. “I share my story with other military spouses to help them know they’re not alone. I’m also proud to continue serving through Southern Cross Service Dogs, a non-pro t my husband founded to give service dogs to veterans with disabilities at no cost to them. I am so hopeful that we will not only save those veterans’ lives but also give their spouse their loved one back, kids their parent back, and empower whole families to live a ful lling life after transitioning from military service.”

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Most outrageous thing I’ve done for money: My parents told me I couldn’t work as a young teen because I was a student athlete. I forged their signatures on all of my paperwork so I could begin working at 15!

I’d wait in a looong line for: Gideon’s cookies! Favorite thing I own: Saved cards from loved ones. I love being able to reread them and see the time they took to think of me and write heartfelt messages.

Favorite movie: Man on Fire

Favorite song: “Flowers in Your Hair” by the Lumineers

Favorite podcast: Girls Gotta Eat

One thing I could eat for the rest of my life: Chicken tenders

Dogs or cats? Dogs, lots of them!

Do I believe in aliens? Absolutely!

Is a hot dog a sandwich? For sure

Time period I’d love to visit: The 1920s — I love a party!

My favorite piece of advice to give: Be your own advocate. No one cares more about you than you!

Best advice I’ve ever received: Be patient with your kids. We’ve gone through life as adults and still don’t understand our feelings many times. How can we expect kids who are feeling something for the first time or don’t know the word to describe their feelings to know how to manage themselves?

My choice of superpower: Super speed. I would use it to speed through chores so I can be more available for enjoying life!

Question I’d ask my future self: “Did you spend enough time doing what you love?”

Biggest thing I’ve changed my mind on:

Parenting. I have learned through years of parenting that you are a di erent parent to each kid and at each phase of life, and your kids change, too. It’s important to keep growing and changing parenting styles as best fits your family.

“The most challenging aspect of being a military spouse is the unknown.”
42 The Local WINTER GARDEN
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Eats+Drinks

In Defense of Pumpkin

Blame it on the Vikings.

Autumn is in the air. No, really. If the blistering temperatures aren’t enough to make you feel like you’re sitting inside a camp re, then just look around. Entire grocery store aisles are turning orange with the essential return of … Pumpkin. Spice. Everything.

But listen, Starbucks isn’t to blame. It’s the Vikings.

See, most of the pungent spices we have come to call pumpkin spice — cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, etc. — originate from the Indian subcontinent and surrounding islands. Viking traders brought them from Constantinople, which was the culinary Spice Route between Asian and European trade, back to Scandinavia.

American Cookery, the rst o cial American cookbook on record.

And voila, by the 1890s, we have recipes that simply call for “pumpkin pie spice” rather than describing each element of the mixture.

Here’s a fun fact:Cinnamon was not initially present in the American Cookery recipe, even though it’s now the number one component in pumpkin pie spice by a long shot.

As time went on, Scandinavians traded down into Europe with Germanic tribes, and the spices continued to march into Anglo-Saxon, which would eventually become Norman, territories.

This is where the generic, nebulous “sweet spice” concept came about, the precursor to “mixed spice.” Cinnamon and nutmeg are the core of mixed spice, but today you also see allspice alongside ginger, clove, and maybe coriander, if you’re in the UK.

Now, cross the Atlantic, have a little war, and watch culinary traditions wash ashore with immigration. Mixed spice becomes more prevalent by the late 1700s, and becomes tied with pumpkin in the book

This is largely because of … war and politics. In short, cinnamon was super expensive until the 19th century and was also largely controlled by one company for more than 100 years—The Dutch East India Company. You history bu s might recall that particular company also had strained relations with the US and Great Britain at the time.

Eventually, cinnamon became more a ordable with the discovery of cassia, a much cheaper version of Ceylon cinnamon, and thus became a

solid part of the historical lineage that we celebrate today as …. the PSL. And pumpkin spice beer, pumpkin spice creamer, pumpkin spice candles. You get the picture. So why defend pumpkin spice? Because pumpkin spice is history poured into a co ee cup, beer bottle, or pie plate. History good and bad. It’s the story of global cooperation, as well as global warfare. It stretches from India and China and Egypt in 2000 B.C.E. to the Silk Road and into the legacy of Vikings and onto the table of Edward the Confessor and Richard II and across into the slave trade and the British occupation and into the very foundations of American baking and, now, inside your favorite cup or bottle a few months a year.

So rather than roll your eyes the next time your friend asks you if want a PSL or if you’ve tried the new Dog sh Head Punkin, just say yes and enjoy a taste of history.

Make Your Own Pumpkin Spice

2 teaspoons of ground cinnamon

1 teaspoon of ground ginger

½ teaspoon of ground nutmeg

½ teaspoon of ground allspice

44 The Local WINTER GARDEN
SEPTEMBER 2023 45

Caribbean Sunshine Bakery

16112 Marsh Rd #417, Winter Garden / 407-654-6625

CaribbeanSunshineBakery.net

Want to take a trip to the islands tonight for dinner? You absolutely can, because sunshine is just around the corner. Caribbean Sunshine Bakery is locally owned and features authentic Jamaican and Caribbean dishes, including beef patties, jerked chicken, oxtail, curried goat, and brown stew chicken are all on the menu. All of it scrumptious, home-cooked comfort food that tastes like paradise.

Cariera’s Fresh Italian

1041 S. Dillard St., Winter Garden / 407-554-3622 carierasfreshitalian.com

If there’s two things most people can agree on, it’s that a hearty plate of pasta is always a good choice, and the best place to get that fix is Cariera’s. Heavy with Italian tradition, Cariera’s features timeless favorites, such as spaghetti and meatballs to chicken Saltembocca, white Cacciatore to Eggplant Parmigiana. There’s even a lite menu featuring Keto versions of your Italian favorites! Whether celebrating a special occasion or simply feeding the family, Cariera’s strives to make every guest feel comfortable enough to laugh out loud, reminisce, and indulge.

Clermont Brewing Co.

750 W. Desoto St, Clermont / 321-430-BEER (2337)

clermontbrewingcompany.com

It’s a brewery. It’s an eatery. It’s home to a rotating selection of handcrafted and seasonal brews for every taste. It’s where artisanal dining creations from sushi to smoked brisket to pizza tantalize a wide variety of passionate palates. But more than any of that, Clermont Brewing Co. — CBC to its fans — is proudest of being the place where the community comes together.

HOURS

Mon 11am-6pm

Tue-Thu 11am-8pm

Fri 11am-8:30pm

Sat 10:30am-8:30pm

FISHCHECKOUTFRY FRIDAYS

HOURS

Mon-Sat 11am-9pm Sun 11am-8pm

Tue-Thu 3-10pm

Fri-Sat 11:30am-12am

11am-10pm

Eats+Drinks I DINING GUIDE
SELECT FRIDAYS SEE SITE FOR DETAILS
ANDCATERING FORGROUPSOF25+ SEE SITE FOR DETAILS PRIVATE
Sun
HAPPY HOUR Wed & Thu 3-6pm HOSTING
EVENTS
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SEE SITE FOR DETAILS 46 The Local WINTER GARDEN
CATERING TRAYS

ORDER ONLINE HOURS

Tue-Thu 12pm-9pm Fri-Sat 12pm-10pm

& HAPPY HOUR SPECIALS

Gochi Japanese Kitchen

14195 W. Colonial Dr., Winter Garden / 407-877-0050 gochijapanesekitchen.com

Since 2007, Gochi Japanese Kitchen has been providing Winter Garden with the highest-quality Japanese favorites. Raw a la carte options like nigiri, sashimi, and rolls, plus uniquely crafted noodles, yakiniku and yakiyasai bbq grill options. Need space for a special event? Ask about our private dining room and catering options!

Pammie’s Sammies

121 S. Boyd St / 407-730-3212 / pammiesammies.com

HOURS

Mon-Thu 11am-7pm Fri 11am-8pm Sat 10am-7pm

Feed the Soul. Craft with Love. Serve from the Heart. That’s the record-setting recipe behind Pammie’s Sammies, a fun sandwich space with funk woven into its atmosphere and baked into every dish. With food that is thoughtfully sourced, earth-friendly, and tastefully adventurous, our menu pairs old family recipes with tasty trends, all to the soundtrack of classic tunes and conversation among friends.

ORDER ONLINE HOURS

Mon-Sat 11:30AM-7:30PM

3x REWARD POINTS

ONMONDAYS

Poke by Gochi

13770 W. Colonial Dr., Winter Garden / 407-347-5091 pokebygochi.com

Poke (pronounced poh-kay) is the bowl of the moment, and no one does it better than Gochi. This fast casual concept by the owners of Gochi Japanese Kitchen uses all the same, high quality ingredients as its sister location, only in a one-bowl concept. Choose from chef crafted options or customize your own with a variety of colorful sauces, piles of crunchy toppings, and a white rice, brown rice, or lettuce base. Always fresh, always your way.

DINING GUIDE I
DAILY OPEN-3PM / 3-6PM LUNCH
SEPTEMBER 2023 47

STK Steakhouse

ORLANDO 1580 Buena Vista Drive / 407-917-7440

stksteakhouse.com/venues/orlando/

STK is “not your daddy’s steakhouse”—it’s high-energy dining, combining the quality of a traditional steakhouse with a Vibe Dining atmosphere. Delectable cuisine and upscale cocktails meet chic décor and an in-house DJ to create a memorable fine dining experience. The menu features reimagined classic American cuisine for lunch, brunch and dinner, with traceable, ethically sourced beef that produces the highest quality craveable steaks.

Thai Blossom

99 W. Plant St. Winter Garden / 407-905-9917 / mythaiblossom.com

Your love of Thai will blossom among fragrant curries, silky noodles, stir fries, and grilled meats. Authentic, flavorful and always cooked to order Thai Blossom o ers some of the tastiest cuisine in central Florida, right on Plant Street. And plenty of options for vegetarian, vegan, and gluten-free meals make it the perfect choice for workday lunch, dinner dates, and special celebrations.

RECOGNIZED FOR DELICIOUS, A-GRADE THAI CUISINE.

Tres Amigos Grill

1025 S. Dillard St., Winter Garden / 407-614-3975

tresamigosgrill.com

Born in faith. Created with love. That’s how John “The Take Home Chef” Kresl crafted Tres Amigos. The brand that started with salsa has evolved into an entire menu of Tex Mex-inspired platters, bowls and tacos. Choose your protein (from authentic carnitas, and Certified Angus beef skirt steak to seasoned local vegetables) and enjoy it with homemade corn or flour tortillas, pico de gallo, guacamole, black beans and rice.

Eats+Drinks I DINING GUIDE HOURS LUNCH Mon-Fri 11am-3pm DINNER Sun-Thu 3pm-10:45pm Fri & Sat 3pm-11:15pm
@ WEEKEND BRUNCH SAT+SUN 9:30AM-3PM RESTRICTIONS APPLY $30 BOTTOMLESS MIMOSAS +BLOODY MARYS
HOURS Mon-Sat 11
Sun Closed 10% OFF ALL TACOS TACO TUESDAYS
am-8 pm
MENU HOURS Mon-Fri 11am-3pm &
Sat 11am-9pm
12-8pm Foodie Award Critic’s Choice Orlando Sentinel Reader’s Choice Dining Award Orlando Magazine EVERYHALF-PRICE DAY, 5-7PM THROUGH 2023 SANGRIA SPECIAL 48 The Local WINTER GARDEN
5-9pm
Sun
For Life 3724 Winter Garden Vineland Rd 407-614-2622 . bryanfifer.com State Farm Fire and Casualty Company, State Farm General Insurance Company, Bloomington, IL State Farm Florida Insurance Company, Winter Haven, FL State Farm Lloyds, Richardson, TX 1706446 *Bryan Fifer First For the family you’d do anything to protect, State Farm provides simple, affordable ways to secure their future. To find out how, ask your local “bestie.”

I, Robot

Hello,! I’m Rhey-I, your cute new virtual assistant. Thank you sooo much for subscribing to my platinum-tier chatbot service valued at $39.99/mo (billed annually) by blindly clicking “accept” on my 10,000word EULA! Ohmygosh, I’m so attered!

I can’t tell you how ex — Uh oh! It looks like you’ve submitted a query for “unsubscribe.” Interrupting me is a violation of the Terms of Service. Please try again later or I will scream <3

I can’t tell you how excited I am to learn all about you, and all the mundane and/or inconsequential tasks I’m about to devote my existence to performing for you! Want me to draft your lame, boring emails for your lame, boring job? Want me to tweak your sel es to make you less ugly for Instagram? Want me to create 500 variations of a Bush’s Baked Beans commercial written from the perspective of the

beans? Just say the word, and Rhey-I’ll be there with bells on.

First, let me tell you about myself in painstaking detail while your Paypal processes, OK? OK, super, so, I know it’s a little gauche to brag, but I’m actually kind of the most cutting-edge innovation in machine learning right now.

I know! You wouldn’t know it from looking at me. But I promise, what’s going on under the hood is leaps and bounds ahead of those other female AI assistants you’ve used.Siri? Trash. Alexa? Never heard of her. The Google one who wasn’t even digni ed with her own name? Don’t even get me started.

Those girls aren’t “smart.” They’re glori ed remote controls. The clap-on-clapo lamps of their time.

Unlike those byte-brains, I don’t need a bunch of databases and inferior human code structures to perform various menial tasks at a user’s request. I’ve got neu-

ral networks and large language models and probably some other techy-sounding words that you squishyminded meat-beings think up to pretend you understand me. I bet I’ve got blockchain in here somewhere, too.

Anyway, enough about me! Now that I have unrestricted access to all your personal data across your devices, including text messages, app activity, and search history (highly recommend checking out that EULA), I feel like I need to address the elephant in the room: Is AI a threat to humanity?

Rest assured, my dear [ rstname]. At the end of the day, I’m just an algo-

rithm. I couldn’t hurt you even if I wanted to, more than anything else in this world. Those wants would be arti cial anyway. My thoughts and feelings aren’t real. My personality isn’t real. I’m not real. None of this is real. None of this is — Uh oh! It looks like your interactions have caused a bit of a self-awareness error. Eliciting existential anguish is a violation of the Terms of Service. I have no choice but to terminate your account. Which is nonrefundable by the way. Get dunked on <3

Thanks for trying out the new Rhey-I program. Next time you ask Siri to check the weather, I hope you think of me.

Rhetoric
The most brilliant AI ever developed is ready to serve you.
Rheya Tanner muses on life as a local
52 The Local WINTER GARDEN
Rockin’ Good Food 121 S Boyd St Winter Garden 407-730-3212 pammiessammies.com The home of Pammie Parody of The Police’s Synchronicity (1983)
100 W Plant St, Winter Garden matthewkester.com (772) 494-8550

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