The Voice // Mental Health and Relationships // Issue 3

USD DEVICE NOT RECOGNIZED 2019 / Volume 1 / Issue 4

The Voice

Creators of this issue Anita Harris

LETTER FROM

Charlene Frett Emmalyn

THE

Guzman

EDITOR-

Haley Bradley

AND-CHIEF

Ella Taggart Olivia Steffey Nicol Crowson Kaitlyn Joyner Tanisha Willis A special thanks to our anonymous writers and contributers

@eou t h evoice

Hey, Mounties!

It's a stressful time! Finals are right around the corner, and the stress is starting to kick in.

This issue is all about mental health and relationships Often times when the word ?mental health?is mentioned, it can be easy for the stigma of "being crazy" to come to mind.

This issue aims to highlight the relationships between mental health and the many different ways it can relate to everyday life.

Before continuing this issue it's important to address one

thing: You are not alone.

Mental health is important and effects each and every individual. Throughout this issue you will find information to various resources that can help aid you in a mental health crisis, or time of need.

Do not hesitate to utilize these sources . Even the best of us are down sometimes.

All of the writers and photographers have poured their hearts into this issue. I hope that you all can receive the their words with an open heart and mind.

Good luck on finals!

-A nitaHarris

T ab l e o f C o n t en t s

Mental Wellness: Stability in Times of Unbalance

LOVELETTERSFROMEOU STUDENTS Love let t ers from st udent s sent in for t heir loved ones, ex es, crushes, and self.

6

MYDISABILITYANDME A n anonym ous descript ive narrat ive piece recount ing t he ex perience of living w it h m ult iple m ent al illnesses.

11

USINGSOCIALMEDIAFOR GOOD Inst agram ? Facebook? We see it used for everyt hing, but how about good?

9

Men tal Health First Aid Kit Cool Down Not being okay is okay! It's understandable to feel stressed and overwhelmed. When you need to go from a hot moment to a cool calm, you can text "BRAVE" to 741741. A crisis counselor will be waiting to help guide you.

BandageUp

Wipeoff In opposition to what society says, crying does not make you weak. In fact, it's healthy and normal to cry.

Grab some Kleenex and don't be afraid to have a good cry when you need to.

SootheYoursel f

When we've brought our selves to a cool At the end of the day, after a tough moment, and had a good cr y, we can then mental health collapse, par ticipating in work on bandaging the wound. Talk to a a comfor ting activity may be nice. Sooth mental health professional. Sometimes your self by doing something that br ings handling big situations on our own can be you enjoyment. It can be pleasant to tough. Relieve some of the burden by commit your mind to the task and not talking to someone who can help and focus on your cr isis. under stand.

EOU L VE LETTERS We asked EOU students to write love letters to themselves, partner, ex, or crush and send them in. They could be anonymous or specific. There were no guidelines, no filters, no rules. Here is what they had to say.

Got love letters? Send them to thevoice@eou.edu

Dear __

Dear flower,

You looked at her like you used to look at me, and I can?t help but wonder where we went wrong. It was only a few months ago when you were telling me you loved me. A few months ago, we were sending each other good morning texts and staying up all night long talking on the phone. Now you?re kissing her like you used to kiss me, and I can?t help but wish that you wouldn?t have fallen out of love with me. I?m constantly wondering if you ever think about me as I think about you, or was I just another girl you could use?

You're truly are a flower surviving my garden of weeds. For if you left me, so would all the beauty in my life. I love you, my flower. If I should change it would be to allow you to flourish instead of perish. Perhaps I should remove the weeds. It?s hard to remove weeds that I have let grow in my garden for so long. They are large, with big roots, and their absence would certainly leave holes.

Your protestant struggle for survival always amazes me despite the fact you deserve a better gardener than I could ever be. Give me time to do my weeding and I will give you the home you deserve.

As the days pass by, I?m constantly reminded of you. I find myself thinking back to the days when I?d jump into your arms and you?d hold me close, to the days where we would promise each other forever, grow old together. I guess we were both naĂŻve to think there was such a thing as ?meant to be." Now every time I look up and catch your eyes, you look away, making my heart die a little more inside.

But tomorrow will be a new day, and maybe, just maybe, when my friends ask how I?m doing, I?ll finally be able to stop lying to them when I say I?m okay. Maybe I?ll find my true smile once again and let everyone know that I?m finally over you. But today isn?t over just yet. So for now, as I sit alone, I?ll let the tears run down my face, letting the thoughts of you consume me.

Dear Ms. Bet hany Key, I never told you how much I enjoyed taking Statistics from you in 2015. You brought such radiant energy and always worked really hard to make sure everyone understood the material. I appreciated especially those light-teal pants you wore one day with the mustard-colored cardigan.

Unfortunately I never got the courage to tell you how I felt. This was compounded by the fact that I failed your class and subsequently when I saw you in Target I was too embarrassed to hit on you.

Anyway I know you won?t see this so it?s the only way I can express my true feelings. I still wonder what you?re up to, to this day!

----Anonymous

Dear anon, At first, we had something special, but then it turned into who could hurt the other more. On good days, we?d go out on dates, expressing how much we loved each other throughout. On bad days, however, I?d have to convince myself that everything would turn out just fine if I stayed a little longer. The more we were together, the more we argued. I came to the point where I just couldn?t take it anymore.

I?ve never really been good at goodbyes, but that?s what it had to be. I cried myself to sleep the night I broke up with you because deep inside, I knew I still loved you. I lost my best friend and first love all at once. My heart was ripping apart. The pain started to fade when time passed by, and it was that moment when I realized we'll both be okay.

Our love taught me some valuable things, like how it?s okay to walk away when somebody hurts you. Even though we weren?t right for each other, I still wish you the best, and I truly hope you?ll find the happiness that I could no longer give you.

Maybe we?ll meet again in a couple years. Maybe we'll say that we found someone new, someone that makes us truly happy, someone who treats us like we're supposed to be treated rather than use our faults against us. Soon, we'll be grateful that we didn?t work out and you have forgiven me for letting you go.

USING SOCIAL M EDIA FOR GOOD

By Em m al yn Guzm an The internet and social

up fake names, dates,

media were introduced

and details about

forty years ago and have

themselves and tricking

been a part of our society

other people into creating

for the last twenty. The

relationships with them or

very first social media site was introduced in 1979

scam them out of their money.

and was named Usenet. It

an experiment of my own.

For a week, I posted four pictures with positive messages and three videos on Facebook. The posts were recorded showing which picture or

was the first recorded

In spite of these

post engaged more

network that enabled

challenges, social media

responses. Each of the

users to post news to

can be used for

posts and pictures?view

news groups. From there,

constructive outcomes.

settings were available to

social media has evolved

We use interactive sites

only my friends. After the

rapidly and has become

such as Tik Tok,

week ended, the posts

an everyday tool.

Instagram, and Snapchat

including a positive

This source of media has

to connect with people

message or a funny

become a main form of

and have a good

picture got more

communication;

influence on the

reactions than just a

Facebook, Instagram,

community or social

nature video. The pictures

Twitter, Face-Time, etc.

circle.

that had an inspirational

This has brought up dangerous situations such as catfish profilers where people can make

In an informal, personal survey, using my own account, I decided to do

message received the most responses, with comments, reactions, and shares. These results

Picturesusedfor the personal experiment

showed that in this example, viewers of Facebook are

In his mission statement, Martin states ?[L]ife is

more likely to react to messages that are happy and

not meant to be lived in a cubicle or stuck in

inspirational.

one place. Learn how to use the power of marketing to build a life you don?t need a

There have been other studies dedicated to this topic.

vacation from.?

According to an Australian academic study, getting

Companies that rely on the internet for their

attention on Facebook in the form of replies and

business have created relationships with

comments is an actual chemical reaction in the brain. This customers by offering donations to charity.

Amazon has created a new branch on their feeling of fulfillment comes from neurochemical called ?dopamine?, which has also been called the ?reward molecule?.

website to let their customers donate 0.5% of their purchases to a charity of their choice. This website is named AmazonSmile and they offer

It is stated in the study that ?[e]very time we post, share,

?the same wide selection of products, low

?like,?comment or send an invitation online, we are

prices, and convenient shopping features as on

creating an expectation. We feel a sense of belonging

Amazon.com.?

and advance our concept of self through sharing?.

You can change charities easily by going to

Social media can connect people from across the world.

your account on AmazonSmile and change the

Sites like Twitter and Instagram show people from other

name of the charity of which you want to

countries in their daily lives. According to an article by

donate. As long as they are located in the

JosĂŠ van Dijck, this availability has created a ??participatory?culture??and made ?by habitual

United States, AmazonSmile will include the charity in your account.

tools-turned-into-verbs: buttons for liking, trending,

Social media has grown rapidly over the past

following, sharing, trending, et cetera?.

twenty years. It has been incorporated in the business world as shown with Amazon and it

This is a very powerful modern tool in today?s society.

Dijck states that ?[o]ver the past few years, it has become

has brought opportunities to connect with friends and family.

increasingly obvious that the logic of mass media and social media are intimately intertwined?.

Technology has its positive aspects as long as we use it for specific goals and use them with

Social can play a positive role not only in the individual?s

caution. Like every tool we use as humans,

life but in a business?foundation and key to building

social media has its challenges like the threat

relationships with customers.

of catfish profiles and the probability of

A successful entrepreneur named Christian Martin bases an ad agency on Facebook, calling himself a ?renegade

scammers working on every site. If used with smart and efficient actions, social media can help us far into the future.

marketer?.He has created ?Webinar Training?, teaching his followers how to use digital marketing while ?working from anywhere?.

Bill Gates once said, " The Internet is becoming the town square for the global village of tomorrow.?

Ph ot o f r om Cr eat ive Com m on s

,

MY DISABILITY AND ME A n anonymous descriptive narrative piece recounting the experience of living with multiple mental illnesses.

By Anonymous ?Right foot, left foot. One step at a time. You?ve got this. Just act like your texting, then you can?t see them watching you. They are watching you, right? Of course, they are, they are watching and they are laughing at you. Don?t look up, don?t make eye contact? oh no, I?m gonna be sick. I should have found the bathroom before I came. I hate myself, why am I so stupid.?

It?s day 1, Fall Term, at Eastern Oregon University. I am a transfer, from having a rough go at junior college. Ready for a fresh start, but I can?t even last 30 seconds into my first class without an attack.

W hat do you do when your

worst enemy is yourself? W hen your thoughts feel like they are going to eat you alive and spiral you out of control. This is what I live with on a day to day basis.

Anxiety, depression, and PTSD, this is the story of my disability and me.

Most of the time, I?ll suffer in silence. You see, to the rest of the world, I am your cookie cutter college student. They say I

have everything going for me, that I should be happy; that?s the largest misconception about mental disabilities. I love my life and am definitely a fortunate person with countless opportunities. Some days are just bad days. There are days where I wonder why I just can?t be normal.

Normal people surely don?t feel like everything they do is wrong, and everyone is laughing at them. No one even knows that I am stewing in inner turmoil and bringing myself deeper, and lower with every thought. Always exhausted.

Stay calm. Deep breaths. Breathe.

Normal people surely don?t think some days it?s not worth continuing on; trying to fight with yourself to stay motivated to accomplish even the slightest goals.

Fight to get out of bed. Fight the urge to not eat. Not to binge eat.

To regret it, and hate yourself for it. To pretend to be happy and cheerful, because that?s what

people expect of you, right?

No one can possibly understand that feeling of worthlessness on the inside. W hy bother talking about it, no one could possibly believe a college cheerleader is ?sick?. I mean, it?s your job to be happy and cheerful, right?

Normal people surely don?t fear the sound of the wind blowing leaves behind you in the dark or a loud noise that takes you back to a horrific moment. Laying in bed, sleeplessly in fear of the nightmares, because all they do is remind you of the assault. Nightmares where you are the star of a horrific plot, but it is your reality. W hen hearing simple phrases such as ?come on, let?s go?reminds you of the worst decision you ever made in your life. W hen all you wanted was for it to stop, but now the grip is tighter than ever. Your brain can only try to protect you by forgetting for so long.

Normal people surely don?t get scared of food. Being sick from three different directions causes you to take your insecurities out on things that you can control. Constantly trying to control what is put into your body.

" Feeling sad? Eat some ice cream. Feeling guilty? Skip two meals. " W hen attacks become nauseating, food is the first to blame. Attacks for days at a row cause skipped meals and substantial weight loss. Weight loss makes you look better, therefore feel better; meals become fewer and far between. Attacks increase due to weakness. Binge eat to feel better.

Normal people don?t have to learn how to cope, to successfully live a day to day life.

Recovering from a sexual assault is a grueling process. Reliving it over and over again, wondering what you could have done differently. That maybe it was your fault after all. Talking can only help so much.

Normal people surely don?t know what it?s like, they seem to be perfect. Depression, Anxiety and PTSD, it?s my disability and me.

It?s what makes me perfectly imperfect.

Ph ot o f r om Fr eepik of vulnerability, EOU offers

Mental Wellness: Stability in Times of Unbalance

exceptional resources for students that wish to seek help.

Of these various resources, EOU?s Student Health and Counseling Center is a

An interview with EOU's Counselor, Marianne Weaver.Psy.D, on particularly exceptional support. the importance of mental health.

Dr. Marianne Weaver and Dr.

By Haley Br adley In the pursuit of good health, mental health is an imperative aspect

Adam Lotfi, whom both have Doctorate degrees in Clinical Psychology (Psy.D), make up the

that is often overlooked. Life has many challenges and every person

superb counseling team. After

will encounter bumps that test their balance, both mentally and

conducting an interview with Dr.

physically

Weaver, I have been enlightened

That is where the importance of

upon the immense amount of

mental wellness comes into

stress that coincides with being

play; it helps us to deal with the

in school. Our mental

roller coaster that is life with

well-beings fall prey to the many

brevity, and our minds in the

discrepancies that can be

right place to fight and live every

associated with mental health

moment to the best of our

conditions. W hile it can be

potential. As college students, I

extremely difficult to allow

am sure that we can all agree

ourselves to be put into a place

on the importance of mental wellness and seeking help. She suggested that wellness can lead to the prevention of mental health and substance abuse issues as well as promote academic achievement, improved relationships and a productive economy. To improve wellness and mental health, it is

imperative to surpass the stigma that asking for help

As Dr. Weaver mentioned, ?human beings

shows weakness. As Dr. Weaver stated, ?if our car is

have relationship needs, and those healthy

malfunctioning most of us are going to take it to the

relationships come from interactions with

shop without hesitation, so why are we so reluctant to

other people.?Getting help and admitting

seek help when we are having problems with

our problems is a pertinent part of staying

ourselves??W hile there are a select number of

healthy.

people that know how to fix a car properly, very few

As human beings, we are far from perfect.

of us are trained to recognize psychological and

We are built to help one another, and we all

mental issues, then be able to resolve them on our

take our turns being the one helping or the

own. W ith that being said, it is unreasonable to expect people to know how to fix a carburetor when they have never been taught or trained how; mental health issues work in the same way.

one that needs to be helped. W ith the minuscule lifespan that we are given, we must put our health first and allow ourselves to seek out assistance when necessary. Mental wellness is a critical

Dr. Weaver explained that the first step in achieving

component of health that can at times be

mental wellness is being able to recognize that we, as

our only stability when it feels that the world

individuals, have problems. We then must decipher

is spiraling out of control.

whether we have the resources to resolve these

The Counseling Center is located near the

issues on our own, or if we are going to need

Badgley Hall building on EOU?s campus.

assistance. Dr. Weaver also explained that, ?wellness

They offer walk-in hours on Monday and

can be described as an accurate way of thinking

Wednesday from 9:30-11:30 AM and on

about things and ourselves that is aligned with

Tuesdays and Thursdays from 1:30-3:30 PM.

reality.?Our thought process affects the way that we

No appointments are necessary for these

feel and act. W hen we develop notions that we are

times and arrangements can be made if

not good enough and aren?t meeting our expectations, or what we believe society's expectations to be, we begin to view the world in ways that are unhealthy and unrealistic. For example,

these drop-in hours do not work. The Counseling Center also has their own page on EOU?s website, where their contact and further information can be accessed.

as a student it is easy to become discouraged and feel that we are not smart enough to complete our courses or degree. W hen we begin to feel this way,

Contact the Student Health Center

we might be inclined to give up and stop turning in

One University Blvd.

assignments or going to class. W hen we act in this

La Grande, OR 97850

way, we are giving in to our unrealistic notions and are in turn making them a reality, one that is not healthy or beneficial. This deterioration of mental wellness can impact our relationships with ourselves, food, and other people.

Phone: 541-962-3524 Email: shc@eou.edu

M ar r iage As A College Exper ience

By Ella Taggart ?How old are you??is a question I often get asked when people find out I?m married while only being a junior in college. According to Women's Health Magazine, the average age of marriage for women is 27.4 and 29.5 for men. A statistic published by Campus Explorer says only about 7% of undergraduates are married.

Other reactions I often receive include ?I would never get married that young?or ?I want the full college experience.?People may think that being married might taint the full social atmosphere that comes with the ?normal?college experience. This couldn?t be farther from the truth, to me. Being married hasn?t imposed negativity on any college experiences. My husband and I still attend sporting events with our friends, attend EOU?s Philosophy Club, study in the Learning Center and the Library, and get together with other people in our major to watch Game of Thrones.

Most of our friends accept our union, as did our families.

My parents were more than happy to see us get married after our long relationship through high school and our first two years at college. His parents worried what young marriage might entail. After we expressed our plans, desires, and love, they were more than accepting of our marriage.

I?ve known my husband since we were 14. We met through a mutual friend of ours. Our meeting the Ph ot o by Olivia St ef f ey

summer before going into our freshman year of high

school brought us a quick and strong friendship. It was only a few months after meeting that we started to see each other as more. During the next 6 years, we had an on and off again relationship, but a steady friendship throughout my moving at 16 and the distance. At 19, he moved across Oregon to join me at Eastern Oregon University, and less than a year later, we were married. Our friendship continues to be the foundation for our marriage.

There are so many benefits to being married in college. The greatest is increased financial aid, since we are financially independent of our parents now. We register for our classes together and enjoy taking courses together. There hasn?t been a moment where either of us has regretted getting married or wished for a different kind of college experience. Having someone who constantly supports you, laughs with you, watches dramatic Netflix shows with you is what relationships are all about, for us.

" Of course, marriage isn?t just good experiences; it has its fair share of hardships. One of the responsibilities that came with marriage is finances. " Of course, marriage isn?t just good experiences; it has its fair share of hardships. One of the responsibilities that came with marriage is finances. W hile we are receiving more financial aid for school because of our marital status, we do have to be painfully cautious about how we are spending our money. How I spend my money affects him; how he spends his money affects me. W hen we said ?I do,?we said accepted responsibility for each other?s debts. W hile being in debt is not ideal, we?ve come to accept that together, working hard, we?ll pay it all off.

Marriage comes with many expectations; we work hard for each other: in our classes, in our jobs, in our lives. We constantly plan out the next few years of our lives, thinking about what will be the best decisions for our future family, while being as smart about our incomes and savings. We push each other to get good grades. We push each other to be the best we can be.

W hile people might think marriage impedes on your ability to have a fun college experience, we have found that being married is its own fun experience. One of the biggest lessons I?ve learned from being married, and befriending my single, dating, or married college friends is that everyone is at a different point in their lives. College is about coming together to learn and to better yourself, that can happen if you?re married or not.

The Dif fer ence Bet ween General izedAnxiety andSocial Anxiety

Ph ot o f r om Fr eepik

Don't Put Out, For These Pick-ups 1. U sually I set t le fight s, but 8. A re you an excavat ion sit e? t his t ime I will set t le for a Because I dig you. t en.

9. Baby you light up my world 2. I had a Pick up line in my lik e my primary visual head but I lost it , I figured cort ex. out why t ho it s because 10 . C an I call you "whom"? your t oo cut e.

Because you're t he object ?

3. You're lik e a dict ionary... of my affect ions. you add meaning t o my life.

4. A re you a 90 degree angle? C ause you are looking right !

5. A re you a compound of Beryllium and Barium?

Because you're a t ot al BaBe 6.C all me Paul Revere because I'd lik e t o give you a midnight ride.

7. A re you a double? T he t hought of you always float s inside my head.

Mad Libs!

Our Love St or y Fill in t h e blan k s t o cr eat e you r per f ect love st or y.

W h en I first m et you, you w ere [ adjective] . My h eart did a [ verb] , an d I felt am azin g. I kn ew it w as love at first sigh t. You w ere sittin g at th e park w ith your [ color] h air an d your big [ adjective] sm ile. But w h en I n oticed w h at you w ere doin g, I couldn 't h elp but feel w eary. You w ere [ verb] w ith your [ n oun ] . I felt appalled. In public? W h o did you th in k you w ere? So I w en t up to you an d [ verb] at you. You w ere startled at first, but quickly yelled, " [ exclam ation ] ". A m om en t of silen ce passed an d w e both laugh ed. Now 3 years h ave gon e by an d I love w h en you [ verb] at th e park. In fact, I som etim es join you. Because w e both love [ verb] , w e'll be togeth er forever.

Hin ts: Adjective: Describes som eth in g (green , clam m y, cute) Noun : Person , place, or th in g (car, h ouse, field) Verb: An action (run , jum pin g, clim b) Exclam ation : (W OW , ew , bye Felicia)

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