Epigram 354 - The Croft 15

the croft

Make yourself at home Celebrating Bristol's small pleasures Lifestyle • Style • Food • Wellbeing • Travel

issue 15 23.02.21

the croft editor's letter

top stories

8 trending

trainers 11 sticky aubergine 20 crystal ball on brexit inside

2 lifestyle 6 style​ 10 food 14 wellbeing​ 18 travel​

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know, I know. Valentine’s has been and gone. But all that I can possibly think about, much to the detriment of my dissertation, is love. Yet again, I have been allured by the intoxicating charms of Married at First Sight Australia (2015 – present). And, reader, I am a willing captive. Swooning when Michael kisses Martha, and equally sighing as Mike inevitably opens his big mouth, is simply part of my identity now. I am alarmingly invested in their blossoming marriages.

Full disclosure: I am an utterly hopeless romantic and I have been since forever.

What all started off as a simple stab in the heart, aged five, when The Doctor and Rose were separated by alternate universes has spiralled into a hearty (see also: mad) obsession with glorious romances. I will never not weep when

Logo by Bethany Marris

Editor ORIN CARLIN Digital Editor ALLEGRA LETTS Deputy Editor FREYA SCOTT-TURNER

Harry kisses Sally, sigh when Baby spends the night with Johnny, or melt when Mark Darcy tells Bridget that he likes her very much, just as she is.

Love is a huge part of the classical texts that I study for my degree. Enamoured poets seeking dominant mistresses, hedonistic affairs with the gods and destructive passions are all fabulously exciting, don’t get me wrong. But I do find that there’s something rather lovely about the mundane reality that sets in when you’re past the exhausting phase of trying to determine whether or not a certain someone actually likes you back.

That's why I'm all about loving the small things and so is The Croft this fortnight.

Style rekindles its love for an old classic, Food sings its praises for Bristol's best vegan hotspots, Wellbeing celebrates the kindness of strangers and Travel is optimistic about what's to come.

And if you’re lucky enough to be in the early stages of true love, I truly wish you the best. But most importantly (imagine a delicious Aussie drawl), ‘Hiv yooos bin intimate yit?’

Orin x

THE TEAM The Croft Editor ORIN CARLIN The Croft Digital Editor ALLEGRA LETTS The Croft Deputy Editor FREYA SCOTT-TURNER The Croft Chief Proofreader ANNABEL MORGAN Style Editor MANON WILIAM Style Digital Editor MORGAN COLLINS Style Deputy Editor MAY GARLAND Style Sub-editor OLIVIA ANDREWS Food Editor SAVANNAH COOMBE Food Digital Editor PHOEBE RANSOM Food Deputy Editor TIM QUINEY Wellbeing Editor ROSIE ANGEL-CLARK Wellbeing Digital Editor EVE COLEMAN Wellbeing Deputy Editor ELENA VENTURELLI Wellbeing Sub-editor SANJANA IDNANI Travel Editor DAISY GAME Travel Digital Editor MIA MUSA-GREEN Travel Deputy Editor REBECCA PARDON Travel Sub-editor SANJANA IDNANI Illustrator ALICE PROCTOR Front Cover EDDIE WESTALL

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lifestyle

Illustration by Lizzie Burgess

Pillow Talk

Ode to Gina, my vibrator

By Carrie Brizshaw

beloved Gina. But she’s a beautiful lilac colour with seven settings, and so I politely declined.

Plus, I didn’t want to see him again.

If you’re struggling to find a gift for your significant other, perhaps present them with a vibrator. My friend’s ex gave her a pink rabbit vibrator and that was probably the best thing he ever did. Going shopping together for a vibrator should be just as romantic as picking out the perfect ring.

If you have not been gifted with a vibrator, I strongly recommend you brave the internet and treat yourself to one. You are seriously missing out!

Carrie's top tip Self-love This powerful bullet of a sex toy, complete with seven pleasure settings, can elevate you to ecstatic heights. It’s portable, waterproof and comes with vegan sweets. What more could you possibly ask for?

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There comes a special time in your life when it’s finally time to bag yourself a sex toy. My personal weapon of choice is a vibrator. The day you graduate from your fingers to a vibrator is an occasion that you need to bake a cake for. That’s not to say that your fingers aren’t good at what they do, rather, a vibrator will introduce you to a whole new world of pleasure.

It’s no big secret that an alarmingly large percentage of the male population find it harder to locate your clit than Timbuktu. Thanks to science, there's no need for you to settle for their fumbling fingers; a vibrator will send you to heaven and back over and over. The day I got Gina felt like I was bringing a baby to their forever home. It can be daunting to order one but, trust me, it’s one purchase that will never give you buyer’s remorse. My friend couldn’t stop using Delaware, her vibrator, for five days straight. Five days!

A dodgy experience with a clueless fresher convinced me to buy a vibrator. After the incident, I found it hard to let boys near my vulva, but Gina literally saved my sex life. Female masturbation is still so hush hush, I used to feel ashamed about doing it, but owning a vibrator has changed that for me. When I discussed this with a friend, she revealed that her vibrator (sorry, this one doesn’t have a name) helped her experiment with herself and feel in touch with what she really enjoyed. This article is a sign for you to go and have a wank. Maybe with a glass of wine too. Coming home wine drunk and slipping into bed with a vibrator in hand is an absolute must. Thank me later!

Solo pleasure is to die for, but the joys of a vibrator doesn’t have to stop there. Why not pull your vibrator out when you’re having sex with someone else? Once a guy even offered to upgrade my baby vibrator to one of those bad boy magic wands after I introduced him to my

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Images: Epigram / Phoebe Altman

WFH: a survival guide Phoebe Altman shares her top tips for working productively

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lifestyle

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fter almost a year of COVID-19, working from home now feels relatively ‘normal’, despite the world still feeling entirely abnormal.

Morning merges into afternoon, today into tomorrow and weekdays into weekends. My productivity is often erratic, but I find that focusing on the things that I can control throughout my day helps me stay on track. Here are some tips to make it more bearable!

Routine I live by this quote from author, Matt Haig: ‘find a routine baggy enough to live in.’ The inevitability of cancelled plans, technology glitches and unexpected emotional breakdowns over the last year has meant sticking to a strict schedule just isn’t realistic anymore. Give yourself more time than you need to complete a task, just in case!

To-do lists I make lists purely for the satisfaction of being able to cross something off and I actually often add things to it that I’ve already done. Try it, I promise you’ll feel more productive!

Getting ready I know there’s not exactly much to get ‘ready’ for at the moment, but I’ve found that changing out of my pyjamas and showering before I start my work for the day does huge things for my productivity.

You’ll feel particularly smug if you’ve been able to exercise and make a good breakfast too. I’m not advocating that you put on actual clothes (jeans? I think not), but the act of getting dressed in the morning sends the message to your brain that it’s a new day.

Phones My phone is my biggest distraction when working from home and I’ve come to realise that out of sight really is out of mind or, even better, out of reach, out of mind! If I only need to stretch my arm to grab my phone I will, without doubt, end up down an Instagram rabbit hole. However if my phone is in a different room, the effort of having to get up out of my chair is enough to put me off. To help ease the addiction I’ve been setting timers on certain apps. I began optimistically with a 30-minute limit for Instagram

and, to my embarrassment, ended up receiving the ‘five minutes left’ warning before lunchtime. I’ve now extended it to 45 minutes which has given me a happy medium between productivity and distraction.

Taking breaks Rest is an essential. I’m really efficient when working for an hour then taking a 10-minute break rather than trying to work straight through to lunch; it’s much less daunting when the day is broken into manageable chunks.

During your breaks, make an effort to get out of the room you’ve been working in, stretch and try not to move from one screen to another!

Phoebe's WFH essentials • Tea and snacks on the go at all times • Cook proper meals • Get outside everyday • Talk to someone if you’re having a bad day • Don’t be too harsh on yourself THIS IS NOT A NORMAL TIME!

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Editor MANON WILIAM Digital Editor MORGAN COLLINS Deputy Editor MAY GARLAND

Staying warm with style Hannah Griffiths shares the impressive garms that will keep you cosy

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f, like me, you live in a draughty student house with mates who determinedly refuse to ever turn the heating on, you’ll know the struggles of fighting over the blanket or having to wear five layers around the house and subsequently looking like the Michelin Man. However, this is the perfect opportunity to turn your sweatpants or snuggly fleece into a killer outfit and win at the layering look. £7 die ,

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Puffer jackets We can’t talk about outerwear without giving a mention to our favourite jacket, The North Face Puffer. You can’t walk down a Bristol street without catching a glimpse of one and they’re the ideal toasty garment for your daily lockdown walk. My flatmate even wears his around the house – yes, it genuinely is that cold.

The current favourite shade seems to be chocolate brown. Cop one off eBay to avoid that hefty price tag.

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Loungewear Another lockdown means we’re stuck inside our cold houses, and what better way to stay cosy and comfy than with a tracksuit. And not just any tracksuit – a Juicy Couture tracksuit. Our newfound love of sweatpants and all things comfort has brought back this early 2000s trend, perfectly in time for the brand’s 25th anniversary. It may not be the most agreeable for a student budget, but a Juicy tracksuit is the perfect way of keeping warm whilst turning heads (not to mention a complete flex for your Sainsbury’s shopping trip).

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Animal print I can never get enough of the animal print trend - I honestly hope it never dies. My favourite pieces are my gorgeous thrifted fauxfur jacket (perfect for these chilly days) and my Urban Outfitters velvet wide-leg trousers (so warm and flattering). Statement pieces like these are brilliant if you want to feel fancy and pretend that you haven’t been lounging in the same pair of grey trackies for multiple consecutive days. Pair with some chunky platform trainers or a black boot.

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Long sleeves Long-sleeved t-shirts are a lifesaver for cold days. Simple but very effective, they can give any baggy tee a certain ‘oomph’ and are an incredibly easy way of adding a layer to your outfit without the extra bulk. Plain black or white tops are super versatile and will go under literally anything.

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Epig ram

Get the look

style​

Olivia Andrews shares her predictions for this year's makeup trends Bar e

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Less is more In a world where people are lacking motivation and we’re craving those quick and simple routines, do-it-all hero products have become makeup bag staples. I predict that this year will see a rise in makeup skincare hybrids, like this concealer from BareMinerals.

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Colourful mascara Burst your bubble of boredom with a pop of colour. Colourful mascara is an unexpected but great way to achieve this. Feather your lashes with whatever colour tickles your fancy and flutter away.

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Define the eyes Yes - love it or loathe it - the 2000s trend of tightlining the eyes is making a comeback. It’s time to grab that kohl liner and re-embrace Year 9 you! Experts suggest using an eyeliner to emphasise the colour of your eyes. For example, if you have green/hazel eyes opt for brown, whereas if you have blue eyes go for black; or you could always bend the rules and do whatever makes you happy.

Luscious lips The Kylie-effect still seems to be taking the world by Storm-storm (true Kylie fans noticed the pun). Big bold lips are just as fun as a dramatic eye look. Since so many of us are bored and stuck at home, what better time than now to get experimental and take risks – no one is going to see if it doesn’t work out!

The unconventional orange lip, for instance, has been seen taking the catwalk by storm.

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Berry nice Berry red is increasingly popular. Maybe it’s because we’re stuck inside desperately craving that pretty, flushed look? This can be perfectly achieved with a couple of drops of the iconic Benetint applied onto the apples of the cheeks.

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Foundation favourites With Olivia Andrews If you’re feeling as though your skin needs an extra boost but don’t have the energy for a full-beat face, these options are perfect for subtle coverage that still provides a radiant glow.

Hollywood Flawless Filter, £34 | Charlotte Tilbury A real-life Instagram filter in a bottle. A complete hybrid complexion booster, this versatile product can be used individually as a primer, highlighter or a great base.

Your Skin But Better CC+ Cream with SPF 50, £32.50 It Cosmetics With colour correcting agents, this lightweight cream blurs blemishes and pigmentation, creating a beautifully even canvas.

Tinted Moisturiser, £35 Laura Mercier This tinted moisturiser is the dream for those of you who are constantly on the go. Minimise the steps in your routine by opting for a 2-in1, a moisturiser that illuminates your skin.

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Trendy trainers: shoes for all walks of life Ni ke A

Isabel Aspey tells us which trainers to invest in to turn heads on our daily walks

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veryone on campus has a pair of Air Force, but they are popular for a reason.

They last such a long time (I have had a pair for 6 years!) and go so well with every outfit. These Air Force add something different to the traditional style, with a doublelayered tick and extra logo branding to make your trainers stand out from the rest!

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This play on the white Air Max 90 has an interesting colourway.

With pops of blue, yellow and pink, you can effortlessly pair these trainers with a colourful t-shirt to brighten up your spring lockdown! The air sole, hence the name, provides extra comfort for those lockdown strolls – best to stick to the pavement though, as you wouldn’t want to get soil

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This Comme des Garçons collab makes a normal pair of Converse look boring. They come in both black and white, but the black pair are better suited for the current weather! They add a pop of colour to any outfit and look great paired with red lipstick to bring the look together. Who knows, maybe you will catch someone’s eye on your daily walk! They are slightly more expensive than normal Converse, but they are definitely a worthy investment if they become a staple in your wardrobe.

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style​

Y2K or Y2 tacky: is the Ugg boot returning?

Emma Love assures us that UGG boots are back in vogue and here to stay

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bout a month ago, the news broke that the Ugg boot was back. Just get through the end of 2020, they said. 2021 will bring better days, they said. But here we are, two months into the new year, almost a year into the pandemic, and the Ugg boot has reappeared. Indeed it has risen from the dead.

Sorry, not sure what came over me there – I must have been possessed by the spirit of a boring, closedminded ghost. Uggs are back and I’ve appointed myself as their Bristolian spokesperson.

At the age of 10, I had my very own (off-brand) pair of Ugg boots and I loved them to pieces. I didn’t particularly care what they looked like, all I knew was that they were the most comfortable boot I’d ever worn, and they were deliciously warm too. Around 2012, it suddenly seemed that no one liked Uggs any more. In fact, it seemed like everybody hated them and I never quite worked out why. I decided to ditch my pair, but only because my feet had grown, not because I had leapt onto the hate-train, which appeared to be hurtling along at lightning speed.

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Suddenly, it was the early 2000s again, and wearing a pair of Uggs was a bold fashion statement. This might explain exactly why they went out of style in the first place – the boots became so popular that it seemed everyone was wearing them. That was the problem. Around 2012, they were condemned as ‘basic’, with magazines declaring the ‘death of the Ugg boot’ (Anna Berrill, Daily Mail).

I, for one, am glad to see the return of the boot. I can throw them on with jogging bottoms and a sweatshirt for a Zoom seminar at 10, but still look presentable if I need to make a trip to shops at 12. Personally, I think they look stylish, but I admit that they’re the ultimate marmite shoe – you either love them or loathe them.

In my wardrobe, they’re here to stay. Cooped up in lockdown with only a few familiar people, the judgement of the public seems to matter less and less in our fashion choices, a change I’m happy to welcome. Who cares whether Uggs are bold or basic? If they’re comfortable and if you like them, just wear them. Go on, you know you want to.

As early as last September, images began to surface of celebrities sporting Ugg boots. The pair of choice was the Ugg Ultra Mini – first seen on Emily Ratajkowski, then Irina Shayk and soon followed by the likes of Kaia Gerber, Sarah Hyland, and Kendall Jenner. Headlines conveyed shock and horror – ‘There is nothing more 2020 than the return of Ugg boots’, (Alice Cary, Vogue).

So what explains the comeback of the controversial shoe? With the onset of the pandemic, blouses and cigarette trousers were swapped for hoodies and jogging bottoms as non-essential workers were transplanted to their bedrooms.

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Editor SAVANNAH COOMBE Digital Editor PHOEBE RANSOM Deputy Editor TIM QUINEY

Vegan spotlight

Lydia Reed loves...

Koocha Mezze Bar

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Choosing my favourite vegan restaurant is definitely a tricky task with there being so many great options around but I do adore Koocha Mezze Bar, located on Gloucester Road. With a completely vegan menu, it is inspired by the flavours of Persia; be prepared to say goodbye to any preconceptions that a vegan diet has to be restrictive!

There’s a wide variety of dishes to choose from: mezze options if you’re feeling indecisive or larger plates using meat substitutes and vegan cheeses – they even offer a vegan egg!

Every time I have taken any nonvegans here with me, they’ve been baffled that it’s all plant-based due to the incredible flavours. From dirty fries to saffron and tahini kebabs, whatever you order from here will almost definitely hit the spot.

The cocktail selection is also impressive, and their cosy atmosphere and colourful artwork (just look at the exterior) ticks all the boxes for a tasty lunch or a decadent night out.

Even though tier three restrictions have limited their opening, they’re still running takeaway options so it’s definitely worth checking out to show that vegan choices don’t have to be just falafel and hummus.

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If, post-Veganuary, you’re thinking of taking the plunge, here is our round up of the best vegan spots here in Bristol Savannah Coombe adores...

Cafe Kino

If you’re a vegan in Bristol, you likely have already heard of Cafe Kino in Stokes Croft. This local favourite is famous for its burgers, great coffee and, well, being 100% vegan. Kino is great at putting a vegan twist on your usual takeaway food. As well as their burgers, the menu includes sandwiches, sausage rolls and milkshakes.

Thanks to COVID-19, they are now also available on Deliveroo and for collection. The store has also opened up a grocery section where you can find vegan versions of staple foods as well as some more niche vegan ingredients, like miso paste and tofu. They style themselves as a ‘workers co-op’ and are great in non-COVID times as a place to sit for hours with your laptop. / Epigram

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Otti Michelson can’t get enough of...

Bristol Sweet Mart

Bristol Sweet Mart in Easton has its own deli, which is well worth a visit, and is the perfect excuse to get out of the house during lockdown. Venturing out of the university bubble is rewarded with the full counters of South Asian delicacies. There’s plenty to discover in the family-run store!

While the pakoras and bhajis can’t be missed (due to both quality and sheer size), the spicy parsnips are the real star here. They’re the perfect addition to any curry or can be wrapped up in a warm naan or pitta to be eaten on the move.

Their daily rotating curries and dahl are brilliant too, I recommend the cauliflower. It is good value, packed with flavour and there are also options to please meat-eaters - making it the perfect dish to please all your flatmates.

food​

Sticky aubergine Cecelia Quant’s simple, sticky miso-glazed aubergine for two

Ingredients

Top Tip!

Garnish with sesame seeds and a lime wedge

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2 large aubergines 1 tsp ginger 2 tbsp soy sauce 1 tsp sesame oil 2 tsp maple syrup/honey 3 tbsp white miso paste 3 tbsp olive oil 2 tbsp rice vinegar Spring onions Peanuts

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1 Preheat oven to 200°C/180°C fan/gas mark 6 2 Cut aubergines in half lengthways and score flesh in crosshatch pattern 3 Place your aubergine halves on some tin foil on a baking tray, drizzle with 2 tbsp olive oil, season with a pinch of salt and roast in your preheated oven for 20-25 minutes or until the aubergines are soft and tender 4 Add the ginger, soy sauce, sesame oil, maple syrup, miso paste, 1 tbsp olive oil and rice vinegar and stir to combine. Have a taste and adjust with soy, vinegar or maple syrup depending on your liking 5 Finely slice your spring onions and chop your peanuts, reserving both for garnish at the end 6 Generously spoon the glaze over cooked aubergine halves. Pop back into the oven for a further 5-10 minutes to caramelize and finish cooking 7 Top with your spring onions and chopped peanuts, pouring any leftover glaze over your dish. Enjoy!

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Why you don’t need to improve yourself in lockdown Trust April Whitworth, you’re doing just fine as you are

In my 2nd year I worked in the kitchen of a Mexican restaurant, Masa & Mezcal, in Stokes Croft, which has now unfortunately closed down - as many independent restaurants are at risk of during Covid-19. I also worked at its popular sister restaurant, Bravas, of Cotham Hill, which does really great tapas and is still open!

Their pulled pork tacos were my favourite, and although I never wrote the actual recipe down, we’ve made pretty similar as a house for taco night. Just as good was pulled jackfruit as a vegan alternative, and the flavourings required are the same for both.

If using pork, salt and pepper a whole pork shoulder and sear all over first. It is best then slow cooked (150 °C) in an oven-proof/casserole dish with a lid for at least 4 hours - throw some chunky carrot, celery and spring onion (or any veg really) in with it too.

The jackfruit can be made on the stovetop and takes less time but becomes less “fruit-like” the longer it is simmered. Start by caramelising some onions, then add the jackfruit chunks to simmer and season to taste.

The recipe is very forgiving, and I don’t think calls for measurements really. The main components are cumin, smoked paprika, bay leaves, salt, whole black pepper corns, star anise, a cider/white wine vinegar, brown sugar and apple juice. Go quite heavy on the spices, and taste as you go with the jackfruit. Liquid smoke works perfectly if you have it, and mustard and/or chilli’s can be added for added heat. Oregano works really well with the pork, but any herbs can be used for a more fragrant result too.

Adding the long list of ingredients and tasting as you go is really all the recipe is, and it is easy to make a lot of for a house taco night.

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Both versions are served nicely with quick pickled red cabbage, guacamole and pineapple in corn tortillas, but you can have it in burgers for ease too.

Enjoy.

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Spilling the tea: Tim’s tasty tips

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veryone’s lives have changed dramatically with the continuous switch between lockdown and (partial) freedom. But if a pandemic wasn’t enough stress already, each lockdown is also met with an unspoken pressure to ‘improve’ yourself, by using the extra time to be ultra-productive.

The government announcement of lockdown last March brought with it a lot of societal pressure to ‘use the time wisely’. In reality, just getting through each day of lockdown is an achievement in itself, which you should give yourself credit for. As humans we are inherently social beings, so being stuck inside for countless months was always going to be a strange switch.

Like many others, I experienced this pressure through social media. The constant updates from influencers showcasing their lives made me feel somewhat incompetent for not getting on with endless new hobbies.

Similar is seen with the start of a new year: resolutions can often centre around somewhat trivial changes, such as Dry January or a daily fitness challenge. Although these have the potential to be effective motivators for some, for others it can apply even more anxiety. We all know that being a student with January assessments during the pandemic is hard enough, without putting yourself under extra pressure to wholly complete a challenge which, to be honest, isn’t that important in the long run.

In essence, if you miss a day of that Joe Wicks workout you swore you’d do every day, you aren’t a failure, you’re human. Of course, if you’re succeeding in your resolution and/or challenges and it’s making you happy, this is amazing - please continue! These challenges can work as a good distraction if you enjoy striving towards a goal.

However, if you realise you aren’t happy, or you’re feeling burnt out, listen to your body. Your priority should be your mental health.

And if you are finding lockdown enough of a challenge as it is, you aren’t alone. Although it may feel like you should have an abundance of time due to less external commitments, living through lockdown is demanding in other, unfamiliar ways.

Make sure you are taking more time to check in with yourself in order to maintain your mental wellbeing.

You’re doing great.

food​

Two peas in a pod-cast

Matthew Randell reviews the new vegan podcast ‘Two Vs and a Pod’

Instagram / Two V’s & A Pod

relatable, as they’re able to pretty clearly recall their lives beforehand: life as omnivores, taking the plunge, and how their bodies and loved ones reacted to the change. What I found particularly endearing was how they acknowledge that it can be a difficult transition to make – something I often feel like some vegans overlook.

About halfway through the episode, the pair bring on their guests - Matthew and Jane, the founders of ‘Veganuary’. While I’ve never partaken of the classic Veganuary, I have done Vegan February (what I call Vegruary) in 2017-19, and in 2020 a waste-free February inspired by the concept. I was shocked to learn that the movement had only been started in 2014 - sometimes I forget how recent a trend the rise in veganism is. The rest of the episode is a typical and light-hearted (other than the occasional mention of slaughterhouses) interview about the couple - how they met, became vegan, started Veganuary, and how the movement has grown (doubling its participants every year!).

Overall, the hosts are likeable and talk about veganism in a genuinely useful way. I’m definitely going to stay subscribed, and would recommend it to anybody, be you vegan, nearly, or not even trying.

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like veganism. I buy a lot of plant-based milks and butters, and haven’t eaten meat in nearly five years. I’m just cheese, cheap chocolate, and the occasional egg away. Because of my interest and affinity with the lifestyle, I have been in several vegan communities over the years, and I’m sad to say I found some of the stereotypes you hear about vegans to be quite accurate in some cases. There is an understandable anger about the injustice towards animals that so often ends up being misdirected at people who would benefit more from education than vituperation.

For this reason, I was intrigued, albeit somewhat sceptical, to hear of a podcast hosted by ‘relatable, day-to-day vegans’. These hosts are Instagram’s Issythevegan and BensVeganKitchen, who have over 17k and 21k followers respectively, and largely post picture of food, proving (in Ben’s words), that ‘vegans eat more than just grass (and pasta)’.

As it’s their first episode, they start off talking about how they became vegan, and I was surprised to learn they had both only been vegan for a few years. While this may seem inexperienced to host a veganism show, I find it makes them much more

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Editor ROSIE ANGEL-CLARK Digital Editor EVE COLEMAN Deputy Editor ELENA VENTURELLI

The kindness o Isobel Edmondson fondly reflects on an unexpected encounter

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bout a year ago, before the pandemic and the day after I returned to uni after the Christmas holidays, I woke up on a sunny morning and thought it would be the perfect day to take a walk to the Clifton Suspension Bridge. I expected nothing out of the ordinary to happen and planned to head to the library afterwards. I stuck my headphones on and set off – little did I know how this day would leave a lasting mark on me to this day.

When I arrived, I sat down and stared into the distance, absorbed in my cyclical thoughts and not really paying attention to the podcast I was listening to.

I must have looked a bit low (I have a self-diagnosed case of ‘resting bitch face’) because a woman (let’s call her Julie) came and sat by me. For a moment she didn’t say anything but then she asked if I was okay. Julie had approached me because she said I looked reflective.

She wasn’t wrong, but I probably wasn’t thinking of anything too profound – maybe my to-do list or how long I should endure my disappointing choice of podcast.

I told her I was fine and just admiring the view.

I understood why Julie had come over.

We talked about the sad associations with students and the bridge and then went onto topics like where I’m from, what I’m studying, etc.

Her husband, Peter, joined the conver-

sation and to my surprise, suggested that I joined them for lunch.

I thought they were just being polite – we didn’t know each other after all, but I agreed because I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t. I was caught off-guard by their offer but there was no harm in being spontaneous. The idea of not having to cook my own lunch with the less-than-inspiring ingredients I had in my flat was also rather appealing, it must be said!

We had soup in a cosy café and we talked about our lives. It was fascinating to hear their stories; I realised that I had never had a proper conversation with a Bristolian before and had met few people

here outside of the student age bracket.

Without trying to be dramatic, it felt like something from a book or film.

They were full of advice and encouragement for people I had only met about half an hour ago; Peter told me that it was okay to not know what I was doing and that life is to be enjoyed. They made me feel truly seen and heard, which is rare when you’re surrounded by a huge sea of students. It’s easy to feel anonymous, especially in first year when you’re still settling into a new life.

Julie said that I had a lovely smile, which was refreshing after being told by random men on the street to ‘cheer up, love’ (yes,

eet y m o t Pleased

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wellbeing​

Epigram / Sanjana Idnani

of strangers

this still happens in this decade). It’s as if they had a sixth sense for what I needed at that point.

Their words echoed in my mind for weeks, giving me a noticeable spring in my step. Julie and I exchanged numbers and when I arrived home, I almost questioned if I had imagined the entire afternoon. We kept in contact and a few weeks later I met Julie again for coffee.

What could’ve been another day in the stuffy library turned into an inspiring start to the new term. If I had returned to Bristol a day later or stayed in my little dorm room, I would not have had this uplifting experience. I now realise that it

is precisely what I needed as I was feeling more down than I wanted to admit.

It is even more profound to consider that this couple could have saved someone’s life that day if I had needed more serious help, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they have.

I’m sharing this story to encourage people to connect with those who look lost or upset because you never know what they are going through. You could even be experiencing something similar to them. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know them – though it goes without saying that you shouldn’t put yourself in danger – you could be exactly what someone needs at

that moment.

I am also writing this to encourage people to get outside if they are feeling down.

I know everything is a lot more restricted with lockdown measures and can be easier said than done, but just being outside reminds you that there are so many other lives that are completely different to your own; each person with their unique set of problems. It might help put things into perspective.

It is so beneficial to physically step outside of the uni bubble and to connect with the outside world. Who knows who you might meet, and how you could alter each other’s lives for the better.

15

News overload?

Ellie Spenceley reminds us it’s ok to take a break

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in an age where the media infiltrates every aspect of our lives. In a global health crisis where our perception of the outside world is limited to our screens, it is hard to disconnect. If others are suffering so extremely, we begin to question whether we can allow ourselves to log off and put the kettle on to protect our peace of mind.

Epigram / Alice Proctor

ith so much happening locally and globally, it’s easy to get caught in a never-ending scroll, consuming one piece of negative news after another. Mental health experts warn that ‘doom scrolling’ – consuming a lot of negative news online at once – can be detrimental to our mental health.

In a time such as now, when each day seems identical to the last, it has become even easier to consume negative news at every spare waking moment, as there’s little else to do but pick up your phone. Wake up, scroll. Go to bed, scroll. Break from Zoom meeting? Scroll.

Our hyperconnected world has cultivated a culture of guilt to coincide with how accessible the global state of affairs is: if we read about it, but choose to ignore it, are we bad people?

Should we be constantly engaged to make up for our relative privileges, proving that we care, that we aren’t turning a blind eye to atrocities? In light of COVID-19 and the re-emergence of the Black Lives Matter Movement in the media following the murder of George Floyd, it’s hard to avoid the headlines depicting death and trauma.

Being unable to see friends in person, we have little choice but to connect on the same platforms that bombard us with stories of devastation and loss. Consuming the negativity that the media presents seems like the only way to connect with the world beyond our doorstep.

Good things are no doubt happening too, but we have been hardwired to focus more on things of a negative nature. This is called the ‘negativity bias’ – the notion that things of a negative nature have a greater effect on one’s psychological state than neutral or positive things, even when each thing is of equal importance.

‘Doom scrolling’ is not a new phenomenon. A hypothesised cognitive bias in the 1970s – ‘mean world syndrome’ – was coined to assert the idea that people perceive the world to be more dangerous than it actually is due to long-term exposure to violence-related content.

Whilst in the 20th century these were limited to television, radio, and print, we are now

Mac Erves, 22, received special glasses as a surprise birthday gift and saw colours for the first time!

Tampon tax abolished in the UK! 12 year old gives birthday money as a gift to a houseless man who returned her grandmother's wallet.

So, how can we stay informed whilst combatting the negative effects of news overload?

Setting boundaries is a good start. Going cold turkey is likely to backfire – and isn’t compatible with staying aware of what is going on – but the benefits of exercising restraint are abundant.

You can usually set limits on the time you can spend on your phone or specific apps, or you could monitor this yourself.

Perhaps limit yourself to 30 minutes of news consumption a day. Move your phone outside your bedroom so you don’t wake up and wind down to the perpetual scroll.

Practice self-compassion. These are unprecedented times, and just getting through the day is something you should consider a feat. The combination of mental overexertion and the lack of physical stimulation is exhausting.

Treat yourself like you would a child: check in with your basic needs and recognise how excessive news consumption is making your body feel. Mental health has a direct impact on physical health: do you have low energy levels? Are you always tired? Do you find it hard to sleep, or sleep too much?

Prioritise your wellbeing and realise that exposing yourself to too much negative news at once is not beneficial. Take a rest, a social media break perhaps. ‘Self-care’ is a buzzword that often receives an eye-roll, but its importance cannot be understated. Take that bubble bath and put the screens to one side.

Scrolling is not inherently bad. It allows us to connect, educate and express ourselves, and share passions.

The problem arises when we stop being conscious about what we consume and when we are not actively limiting the potential negative effects. Consider taking a step back and putting yourself first.

My lockdown routine

Epigram / Jasmine Catto

wellbeing​

Jasmine Catto shares her dayto-day schedule

After breakfast, I hit the desk.

Personally, I prefer to work in the day and keep my evenings free, so I spend my day doing uni work, fuelled by lots of tea and snacks of course! I also make sure to get my breaks in and spend them doing something I enjoy, like a quick walk and a natter with a friend.

Exercising is a key part of my lockdown routine – it gives my day a kick-start and a boost of productivity! For me, it’s usually a fast run (typically blasting some 2000s hits), followed by a stretch. Another reason I work out in the morning is it means that I shower and get dressed early on in the day. Like making my bed, I find completing a small task like getting dressed each day does wonders for my efficiency.

The first thing I do when I get up in the morning (and this is something I swear by) is make my bed. Whilst partially to fight the temptation to crawl back into it, I also find this simple accomplishment initiates a healthy mentality for the day – tidy room, tidy mind!

The evening is my favourite time to unwind.

Once I’ve finished dinner and completed my work, I spend my evening relaxing. For me, this involves a good movie, a bubbly soak in the tub or some form of self-care, like nail painting or a facemask. Oh, and on the weekends a glass or two of vino is definitely involved!

ntrov i n A Orin Carlin cons ert ider s iso ’s lif lati e n i n on’s i l w o o c d k mpact

Epigram / Eve Coleman

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ockdown! It’s the introvert’s dream – well it’s this introvert’s dream, anyway.

Socially, I have adapted alarmingly well to the restrictions, all things considered. My heart bursts every time I think about no longer having to drag myself out of bed for my 9AM – a cool seven minutes will see me showered, dressed and ready to go, sans the awkward pre-lecture chat. Bliss.

As an introvert, naturally, my archnemesis is Zoom (see also: breakout rooms). The feeling is mutual. My soul itches with discomfort when I see the calendar notification pop up and in return, Zoom sporadically decides to crash when I’m (reluctantly) engaging in a socially important interaction. I genuinely have to dedicate 10 minutes before and after to steeling myself up for and decompressing from the godawful call. If you didn’t give birth to me, I am under no legal obligation to admit you a video call. Take note!

My best advice for dealing with video calls is keeping an object to hand. When the conversation gets painful, your certified remedy will be a tea that you can pensively stir or a pen that you can click and raise, poised over notes that you will absolutely not be making.

All jokes aside, I desperately miss my mates. Just because I’m quite happy to eliminate contact with the rest of society from my lifestyle, doesn’t mean I don’t ache for a night in the pub with my nearest and dearest. Keep in touch with those you’re closest to, which I admit is easier said than done. If, like me, you’re allergic to video calling, then I think it might be time to turn back the clocks and brave the humble pen and paper. There’s very little to fear, except being on the receiving end of my shocking handwriting.

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Editor DAISY GAME Digital Editor MIA MUSA-GREEN Deputy Editor REBECCA PARDON

Photographs : Epigram / Sophia Choudhury

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aving finished a sunny walk along the southern French coast, I found myself – along with 4 other friends – waiting at the boat terminal.

However, thanks to the wind, the ferry couldn’t come all the way into the port; soon enough, we were sprinting around the port to get to the other stop.

After I went flying past an older woman, she approached my friend, Anna, to try and explain the other options, but we realised everything else was impossible given the 18:00 COVID curfew and the intermittent Sunday bus timetable.

For ease of storytelling, we’ll call the older woman Angelina – given that it means ‘guiding spirit’. Before we knew it, we were hot on her heels, trooping towards the police station for help.

Anna had gone ahead to make sure wecaught the police before they disappeared, and soon enough we were all stood in front of one burly policeman and his t w o cow-

The kindness of strangers Sophia Choudhury remembers a random act of travel kindness

ering sidekicks. Mr Burly did most of the talking, and even though he did it with chest, he certainly did not do it with a scrap of heart. Angelina‘s patience with Mr Burly’s reluctance to help wore thin and before I had time to think, she was gripping my arm and dragging me aside with strict instructions to bring my phone and to leave the others where they were for the moment. Confused as I was, and despite the mere 15 minutes I’d known her, somehow, she had earned my trust – it turned out we’d earnt a ride in her car.

Almost as soon as the others had caught up, she was pulling up in front of us again with what can only be described as a minivan. Strapped in and finally starting to thaw out again, we set off along the road in Angelina’s car, doing our best to strike up a conversation as we went.

By the end of the journey, we’d learnt about her family, her second house just north of Lille; she told us where she thought we should visit in Menton and Nice and the cheapest way to go to see Monaco.

She explained that we reminded her of her own daughters and that she’d hope someone would do the same for them if they found themselves in need.

It was so thoughtful and kind of her to go completely out of her way to help five random English girls that she’d never met before.

A true random act of kindness.

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Xander Brett Travel Columnist

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s I was whisked from Gare du Nord to the Île SaintLouis yesterday afternoon, there’s a definite sense that life has come back to Paris. The shops are open, people are out on the streets. The only sign that over the Channel a lockdown confines us: the chairs on bar tables and a 6pm curfew emptying the streets. France’s reaction to the third wave has been to seal the borders, living in relative freedom within a bubble.

I was ‘airlifted’ out of the UK just in time, filling out endless paperwork and completing PCR tests and visas.

All were stamped and I passed through without difficulty. Eating lunch as I passed through the Channel Tunnel, I had the impression of being in a sealed train crossing the Iron Curtain.

“I’ve already done the rounds, greeting the island characters I last saw in November.”

Having perfected my routine before the second lockdown, moving back into my apartment has been straightforward. Tomorrow I’ll return to university. I’ve already done the rounds, greeting the island characters I last saw in November. This afternoon, before the curfew, I’ll walk up to the Arc de Triomphe. Later this evening, the chef from the restaurant below will bring up my dinner.

Life is different to last term, but it’s by no means over.

Stranded at home travel​

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hen you imagine going to university abroad, the last thing that comes to mind is your childhood bedroom.

Everyone thinks about a new life that is about to start: new people, new friends, new experiences. But COVID-19 has drastically changed that. I have spent more time at home than I ever anticipated. At first, it was fun: being back home, being carefree and seeing my childhood friends. But now, I feel like I am missing out on some of the best years of my life.

While I was in school, I always heard how much fun I was going to have at university. But now, I always find myself thinking how much fun university is from the comfort of my bed.

Sadly, having the comfort of my childhood bedroom means I am missing out on parties, nights out, birthdays, celebrations. But I am also missing out on exam stress, lectures, early mornings after a long night out. But you need both to really feel like a student.

Having a lecture at 9AM on a Thursday after a crazy Wednesday sports night is a memory I love to hate.

Regardless of the situation, I try to keep a positive mindset. I always try to see the positive side of things. For example, I tried picking up a new hobby in order to safely enjoy all the free time I now have. I appreciate the time I get to spend with my family and friends. I believe that it is up to every individual to live the life they want.

If you do not enjoy the life you

Start cycling around your city and act as a tourist for a day.

Go enjoy all the beautiful parts of your city or neighborhood

I always have one question in mind: “When lockdown is over, what stories will I have to tell?”

are currently living, do something and change it. Start cycling around your city and act like a tourist for a day. Go enjoy all the beautiful parts of your city or neighbourhood that you have ignored. When you go back home, journal your experience. It can be anything: you are the only one who gets to read it. Write about how you feel, what you saw, something fun or interesting you learnt or just how beautiful the day was.

Trying to keep a positive attitude is not easy, but it is one of the reasons I personally have been able to go through multiple lockdowns so calmly. I always have one question in mind: “When lockdown is over, what stories will I have to tell?”

This is up to each person reading this.

Regardless of whether Netflix, sleep and studying is all you want to remember from this whirlwind of a year, or if you have become a self-taught baker or cook, it is important to do what makes you happy. Maybe you have started being passionate about fitness or decided to become a vegetarian.

I think that taking care of your mental and physical health will allow you to come out of this situation a more fulfilled individual. The few short years you spend as a university student are usually full of new experiences and decisions out of your comfort zone.

So, as long as you stay safe and respect those around you, take advantage of even the small things in life and always try to find something creative or fun.

Photograph: Epigram / Rebecca Pardon

International student Thea Dimopoulou talks us through the importance of positive attitude

19

Crystal ball on Brexit

Nadja Lovadinov makes some predictions for the future of travel post-deal

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he UK has lost its compass and bearings. As we blindly manoeuvre through this crippling identity complex, one contemplates…what effect the final deal will have on the way we travel in years to come? Will cheap, impulsive weekends to Prague and Paris remain the mainstream? Will queues at passport control be painstakingly longer than they already are?

The footprints of the EU and UK together on the sands of Magaluf have been washed away by the new tide of British self-determination. Brexit sovereignty swims against the currents of a century building in the opposite direction, and the fishing truck protests have kicked the Brexit party into a frantic fullswing. Whilst we try to navigate through this sea of uncertainty, the way we travel in years to come is not guaranteed to be smooth-sailing. The UK has made its EU-turn and the future will be seemingly characterised by backtracking and reversals.

The reality of globalisation is that we are inevitably interdependent. For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer; yet Brexit’s bitter divorce settlement has left young people in custody of an incompetent, unreliable government.

In January 2020, Boris Johnson vowed that there was no threat to the Erasmus programme. Well, the UK is out of Erasmus. Replaced with the Turing scheme, a shady step-mum, after the government rejected a seven-year payment plan to remain as an associate member.

Without EU funding, fewer students will have the income to study abroad, limiting the horizons of young people, exacerbating a social equality problem in the UK. Students from lower-income families may not have equivalent opportunities to access bursaries and grants that Erasmus offered.

An incredible shame.

Immensely popular with ‘gap yah’ and university students is the infamous European Interrail scheme, a scheme that encompasses the admirable aims of the EU. The beauty of the EU is being granted unlimited access to the paradises of Europe. As my train meanders through Normandy’s rolling meadows, following the trails of periwinkle that run wild, I’m emancipated by this sublime se-

20

renity, and with free roaming, I can snap the entire journey! Yet the Brexiters arrogant cry for freedom can be faintly heard, whistling through the train carriages, creeping in through Illustration: Epigram / Alice Proctor

the windows from across the channel.

Currently, the Interrail scheme is still available to UK citizens, however, a disagreement in 2019 over the trial Eurail scheme made the UK Rail Delivery Group pull out of Interrail, only to re-join one day later. One can only expect more oscillation in the future, an oscillation that has become only too familiar to the British people the past year.

Perhaps what I will miss most is the ultimate British bargain break. Being compressed into my seat on my £15 Ryanair flight, made so cheap by the EU single market, to visit the seaside jewel of England. No not Cornwall, Benidorm. For years, Brits have reaped the rewards of the EU, invading the Spanish coastline, swarming their greasy cafes that offer the full English and squeezing into their 4-star all-inclusive. Will Benidorm culture continue?

Whilst ‘woke’ remainers believe they have astutely taken the red pill, our ‘advanced’ blue passports, changed by US visa-waiver demands, would suggest that rather we have taken the path of ignorance. At least we will have fancy European stamps in our passports, for those craving for that Instagram post. ETIAS visas, proof of financial security before entering a country, are the trials and tribulations that await us.

As a daughter of immigrant European parents, I find myself confounded as to how we have arrived at this point, forsaken and bounded. To ensure they are entitled to the same European rights, many have been darting for dual citizenship. To fulfil my Mamma Mia fantasy on the charming Croatian coast, I will likely do the same. Lamentably it will be a long, costly process burdened with bureaucracy.

The Oxford English Dictionary announced that the usage of ‘Brexit’ dropped by 80% in 2020, yet Brexit anxiety looms over us all. Young people have been divided with Brexit, a lost membership and a lost generation. Our freedom to travel will be reduced, confusion and backtracking await us.

Perhaps fifth-century British history will repeat itself, after failing to obtain mutually beneficial trade deals with the Picts and Scots, the Britons begged the Romans to let them back into the Roman Empire. But that’s just my naivety.

3

The ‘Northern Slopes’

The ‘Northern Slopes’ is an initiative by a local group to maintain, conserve and enhance their local green spaces. There are four areas in Bristol: The Bommie, Glyn Vale, Kingswear and The Novers. These are some beautiful nature areas for you to explore!

Troopers Hill

I would recommend starting at Temple Meads and following River Avon to the east from the Harbourside. This path is already spectacular on its own, passing through St. George’s park on the way, but your final destination will be even more breath-taking. Troopers Hill offers one

4 Abbots Pool

of the most amazing views in the city from its peak.

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Nightingale Valley Nature Reserve

The walk to get here is quite far, but on the way there are beautiful views of the city. Passing through Arnos Vale Cemetery and Totterdown, this is a walk where you can experience both city and nature vibes.

Photographs : Epigram / Victoria Rocchelois

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travel​

A central feature of the surrounding woodland, this beautiful pool was built by medieval monks who used it for fish farming. Today, it still features a small, idyllic waterfall, a cave and flourishing wildlife. It is a pleasant 2.5 miles (4 km) walk from the suspension bridge, part of which leads you through Ashton Court as well.

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North Street Starting from the one side of the Harbourside, you can take a lovely two hour walk along North Street, featuring some amazing street art, all the way to the other side.

Best walks in Bristol

Victoria Rochelois potters us through some of the best walks in and around Bristol

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lifestyle

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Elin Alexander explores body image and lockdowns

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At the beginning of lockdown, I felt amazing. I was all over those Chloe Ting workouts and my body was the best it had been in ages, not just in terms of appearance but my fitness level and diet too.

However, as lockdown has progressed, gyms have closed, and I’ve exhausted pretty much every walking route in Bristol.

With nothing to do and no motivation, I’ve been sizing myself up in the mirror perhaps a little more than is healthy. I’ve tried starting workout plans or getting back into running to stay in shape, but the hills in Bristol make me feel like I smoke six packs a day and frankly I cannot be arsed.

Lockdown has been a learning curve for us all. I think the hardest pill to swallow has been that I’m not sixteen anymore and the weight doesn’t just drop off after a couple of sit-ups. To be honest, I’m longing for the morning that I don’t wake up regretting what I’d eaten the day before or feeling guilty for not having burnt off the calories within five minutes. For now, I’m learning to love my body in a deeper way.

Going through three lockdowns has meant that our bodies have carried us through an immense amount of strain. Instead of getting frustrated over what my body isn’t doing, I’m trying to learn to appreciate it by stretching, walking, but more than anything, just resting! It’s so easy to see others getting their lives together and going through amazing body transformations and feel like what we’re doing isn’t enough. However, we’re all moving at our own pace and our bodies are coping in their own ways. We should be proud of getting through this crazy time in our lives. Whether you’re learning to love the transformation your body has been through over this period or you’re coming to terms with the strain it has taken, our bodies deserve respect for carrying us through all the ups and downs that lockdown has thrown at us!

Epigram / Elin Alexander

ockdown has been quite the shit trilogy, hasn’t it. Way back in March, the sun was shining, fresh fruit was on the agenda and my skin was glowing so hard it was blinding.

Fast forward to now, and a two-day bender has meant a weekend of takeaways and my flatmates thinking I’d gone home without telling them because I hadn’t left my room all day. It’s safe to say my motivation to stay fit and healthy has declined as the days have gotten shorter and the weather has gotten shitter. I’m a lifetime away from that 5k challenge in the summer. All these changes, along with the news of yet another lockdown and gyms closing as a result, has meant that I’ve put on a few pounds without realising. It wasn’t until a few days ago, when I went to put on a pair of jeans that nearly cut off the circulation in my waist, that I realised it may have gotten a little out of hand.

I’ve always considered my relationship with my body to be relatively healthy in that I feel my best when eating clean and exercising. In periods where this isn’t happening, I notice a change and take measures to get back on track.

Epigram / Elin

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lifestyle A Bristol student shares what she learnt from the end of a friendship

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he dialogue on break-ups seems constant: we hear it lamented in songs, detailed in books and played out on our TV screens over and over again. Why then, are these break-ups always of a romantic nature, between couples whose love for each other has run out?

Friendships are integral to many people’s lives, yet they grow, change and dissolve constantly. In the midst of months of silence between me and one of my oldest friends (I will call her Lily, for the sake of this article), I began to wonder why the friendship we had built through the most formative years of our lives had seemingly disappeared into thin air. There was no dramatic argument or incident of betrayal, yet both of us made the conscious decision not to stage a rescue attempt for our fading friendship. The reality was clear: neither of us wanted the other in our lives anymore.

clear that Lily was not capable of understanding my point of view, as her behaviour never changed despite her insistence that she would ‘try harder’ or ‘get better’ at valuing my feelings.

I have never properly spoken to Lily about how I felt in the last few years of our friendship, and I often find myself wondering if I should have been more honest or open with her when I felt hurt. I lie awake at night wondering if I did anything wrong, or if it is my fault that we no longer speak. I often wonder if Lily does the same.

The reality is, when Lily and I stopped speaking over a year ago now, neither of us wondered why.

It was months before I contacted Lily to ask if she would like to meet up to clear the air, and when we did meet, there was no mention of what had happened.

It struck me in that moment neither of us were interested in repiecing together what once was.

Losing Lily

It would be a lie to say that mine and Lily’s friendship had always been plain sailing.

We went through the normal trials and tribulations that all female teenage friendships face, but for the best part of seven years, we were very close.

Lily and I attended school together from age 13. We spent weekend after weekend at each other’s houses. I went on holiday with her family and we spent a month travelling together after we finished school. We even (although by chance) came to Bristol together. For most of my ‘milestones’, Lily was there.

Despite this history, you could say that our friendship was unlikely – Lily is laidback and carefree, whilst I am organised and prone to over-thinking. Our personalities are not remotely similar, even though our interests are largely in line. As time went on, Lily and I grew increasingly frustrated by each other’s approach to our friendship. She resented my stubbornness and found me controlling, whilst I was tired of her cancelling plans and letting me down time and time again. In many ways, we both felt trapped in the clutches of our history together, neither wanting to accept that our friendship was becoming riddled with resentment. On the odd occasion that I spoke to her about how I felt, I was handed an empty apology. It grew increasingly

For me, letting go of Lily was an exercise in self-care. She taught me, more than anyone, what I look for and value in a friendship. Lily would tell me that I was important to her, yet with every unread message and cancelled coffee date, I was made to feel more and more that I wasn’t worth her time. The other day, my mum asked me if I missed her. I was taken aback at such a simple question, as I realised that in all the hours I had spent tormenting myself with tiny details from our years of friendship, I had not once wondered if I missed Lily, now that she was gone. The truth is, I still think about Lily all the time, as I find myself wearing a pair of her socks or listening to a song that she showed me. But as time goes on, what would once stop me in my stride and overwhelm me with feelings of anger and anxiety now quietly brushes by me. I know It sounds incredibly clichéd, but a friendship break-up really does heal with time.

By losing Lily, I began to value myself so much more. I realised that our friendship was only ever an option for her, despite my constant prioritisation of her needs. Lily taught me the importance of setting boundaries to protect my emotional health, and I realised that the moment you feel like you have to prove your worth to someone, is the moment you should walk away.

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Secrets of the cosmos

The Croft’s resident clairvoyant, Rosie Angel-Clark explains what the stars have in store for you this month Ar ie

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-1 19 The watery new moon on the Finally the heat is 13th is unsettling for you, with off you this month – if you’ve been misunderstandings muddling your feeling pressured, the planets issue relationships. As the Sun enters your house you a welcome break. It’s all been of all things familiar from the 20th, helping you work out your goals and you’re keen to stay in with the full moon on the 28th completes a film on your rare days this cycle of self-improvement. off from studying. If you’re You’re feeling refreshed and looking for love, the best ready to face a term place is in your existing of hard work friendships – is someone with newfound starting to see you differently? determination.

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After what may have been a turbulent few months relationship-wise, March brings balance and ease at last. If there are things you’ve wanted to get off your chest, Mercury brings you the perfect opportunity mid-month. Your easygoing nature is coaxed back out by the joint forces of Venus and the Sun and you’re ready to approach new challenges with a smile.

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A Your intuition is heightened Early this month, From the 3rd, you’re feeling around the new moon on the the planets push you passionate – whether you’re focused 13th – don’t be surprised if the towards an unexpected on a person or a project, Mars’ dynamic dreams you have around this day new friend whose energy has you more proactive than materialise in real life! As the Sun conversation has ever! Frustrations may arise as you enters your house of ambition on you intrigued. Later, you’re hit with struggle to authentically the 20th, you might feel stressed wanderlust as the Sun and Venus express yourself in the out around career matters, illuminate your house of exploration. latter half of the month, but but the restorative Even though you can’t set off right by the time the full moon powers of the full moon now, making plans for the future is rises on the 28th, you’ll be on the 28th remind you just enough to satisfy your craving for back in balance. of how far you’ve come. adventure!

23 Oct 23 Septem 23 Aug obe be r ust r-2 -2 2O This month is The first half of the month As your ruling planet all about balance for continues February’s breezy Mercury enters dreamy Pisces on you, and as your symbol approach to relationships. From the the 15th, your natural organised suggests, it comes easily. Early 21st, things could start to feel a bit nature may go out of the window.

March upheaves your day-to-day routine, but the full moon on the 28th You might even enjoy these few life as your house of routine is shaken brings the excitement rushing back. days of chaos! Relationships by unpredictable energy. By the 20th, Meanwhile, you’re carried away with the of all kinds are boosted though, you’ve worked out the solution. new moon’s dreaminess on the and you’re feeling the The full moon in your sign on the 28th 13th, befuddling your usually support from all sides as encourages your natural compassion – focused mind – a few days’ your favourite people rally check in on a friend or call your family, break might be just what around you to cheer you it’ll be greatly appreciated! you need! on.

Ju