Table of Contents Training is on its way to cities all across the country and we want YOU to be a part of the journey right off the start line.
July/August/September 2011
Featured Articles
q First Things First by David Delk. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 q A Man and Stewardship by Dr. Patrick Morley. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 q A Book, A Movie, An Opportunity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 q Why You Should Kill the Term “Men’s Ministry” by David Delk. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 q “Read Your Bible, Reduce Debt?” by Pastor Brian Kluth . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 q Creating Space excerpted from Halftime by Bob Buford. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29 q Celebrating 25 Years of Man in the Mirror. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58
Resource Tools
q Equipping Your Men’s Small Group. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 q How to Use This Devotional. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 q Resource Catalog. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30
Welcome to the ride! Your Man in the Mirror Ministry Consultants are building teams now to help bring NO MAN LEFT BEHIND training to pastors and leaders in:
Alabama Colorado Florida Indiana New York
Pennsylvania Washington, D.C. Metro Tennessee Texas Ohio
Don’t see your area on the list? Call to find how you can bring the No Man Left Behind training to you.
If you’d like to know how you can help every church disciple every man in these communities, call Jim or Pam at 800.929.2536 or 407.472.2100.
www.maninthemirror.org/why-training/the-case-for-training
Devotions
q July 2011 Devotions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 q August 2011 Devotions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 q September 2011 Devotions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44
Be sure to check out special devotions adapted from Gordon McDonald's devotional book, Generosity, that start on page 27. Gordon MacDonald is a speaker, pastor, teacher and best-selling author of A Resilient Life, Who Stole My Church, and Ordering Your Private World and is also an Editor-at-Large for Leadership Journal. For more information on his book, go to www.generouschurch.com/generosity. Follow the One-Year Bible reading plan by reading the daily Scripture at the end of each devotion. To see the complete reading plan, go to www.oneyearbibleonline.com. At the end of many of the devotionals you will find an abbreviation for a resource that expands on the devotional material. For more information about the Man in the Mirror Bible Study (MIMBS) go to www.maninthemirror.org/archives/categories. :MIMBS 1— Hanging Out: Critics :MIMBS 2—Grace and Legalism :MIMBS 3— One Year Bible: The Strange Things that Jesus Said :MIMBS 4— One Year Bible: The Temptation to Turn Back :MIMBS 5— Effective Fathering Task 6: A Heart for God
:MIMBS 6— Effective Fathering Task 7: A Faith in Christ :MIMBS 7—MIM REMIX: Secret Thought Life :MIMBS 8—MIM REMIX: Accountability :MIMBS 9—MIM REMIX: How Can a Man Change? :MIMBS 10—Moral Development :MIMBS 11— Ten Questions: Why Am I here? GGM— From Generosity by Gordon MacDonald
Equipping the Man in the Mirror: July/August/September 2011, Vol. 6, No. 3 Publisher: Man in the Mirror, Inc. • CEO: Patrick Morley • Executive Editors: David Delk and Brett Clemmer Publication Manager: Lucy Blair • Art Director: Cathleen Kwas • Writers: Lucy Blair and Ruth Ford Office: 180 Wilshire Blvd., Casselberry, Florida 32707 Phone: 800-929-2536 • Fax: 407-331-7839 • Web site: www.maninthemirror.org Copyright © 2011 by Patrick Morley and Man in the Mirror, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscription Information: One year—$25. Two years—$43. For reprint requests or bulk subscriptions call 407-472-2100 or send an email to EQMIM@maninthemirror.org and ask for reprint permissions. All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2010 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. SAll rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked nlt are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
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First Things First
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by David Delk Celebrating 25 years of ministry over the past few weeks has given me an opportunity to reflect on how God has blessed a lot of hard work by a lot of committed people. A few obvious things that came to mind: the more than 10,000,000 men who have been influenced, the millions of books and resources that have been produced, the tens of thousands of churches and leaders that have been trained, the testimonies of changed lives and saved families, and more. A NOW R O MAJ N IO MOT RE U PICT
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O 3 HO VER U IMPA RS OF C VIDE TFUL OS!
NEW FOR 2011 4 Great Messages from Patrick Morley, Mark Driscoll, Craig Groeschel & David Delk
The 4 speakers on this DVD provide powerful, hard-hitting messages for men. They were chosen because they speak to the world we live in today, using the timeless wisdom of the Scriptures. They may step on your toes or give you a kick in the seat of the pants. They’ll make you laugh – and cringe – as you realize the areas of your life that you are holding back from God. Great for small groups, father-son experiences or individuals.
www.booksbythebox.org
But beyond those concrete reflections, two themes continue to echo powerfully in my mind: Calling and Stewardship. I’ve been pondering the connection between these ideas, and how this plays out in my life and our ministry. Our calling is clear—to help every church disciple every man. One clear result of our recent 25th anniversary was that God powerfully reaffirmed this calling. I’ve realized that our stewardship is really judged by how faithfully we use our time, talents and treasure toward this result. Just like our ministry overall, every man has a calling from God in the major areas of his life. We want to help you consider yours and then pursue it with your whole heart.
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Every man wants to make a difference, to have his life count, to leave a legacy
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So this edition of the magazine will encourage and challenge you in the various aspects of your life—as a father/grandfather, employee/boss, churchman, husband, and giver. And we’ll help you consider how each of these roles is an opportunity to steward the incredible opportunities God places before you. Every man wants to make a difference, to have his life count, to leave a legacy. So here’s the thought I’m pondering that helps clarify how I live each day—my legacy will be determined by how well I steward the opportunities God gives to fulfill my calling. That’s worth repeating: my legacy will be determined by how well I steward the opportunities God gives to fulfill my calling. May God give you the grace to live well for His glory. With you until every church disciples every man,
David Delk President, Man in the Mirror P. S. Two unique opportunities that you’ll also see in this magazine: 44You can give away copies of Golf’s Sacred Journey for less than $1 each. A
More great titles to choose from!
major motion picture based on the book is being released August 12th. 44You can reach men with a DVD resource called Man Code for less than $2 each.
Learn more about these opportunities at www.booksbythebox.org.
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A Man and Stewardship by Dr. Patrick Morley
What Is Stewardship? My father was a great man who set a standard for stewardship that will challenge me for the rest of my life. When he died in September of 2002, I became the personal representative for his estate. I took over his checkbook. Because of my responsibility, and also because I was curious, I went through that checkbook. I found no record of any spending that embarrassed me. I found no record that would have embarrassed my father or his Lord. My dad’s example teaches a crucial life lesson. Stewardship isn’t just about money. Stewardship is an all-inclusive concept about our faithfulness with all of the time, talent, and treasure God entrusts to us. As Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 4:2, “Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.” Stewardship is how we use all of the resources God gives us. My grandfather abandoned his family when my dad was only two years old. Grandma suffered a stroke a little later. It affected her speech, and for the rest of her life, she spoke in a slurred way that only a few people could understand. When she walked, she dragged the whole right side of her body. These two events heaped a great deal of stress on the family. Soon they lost their farm in Hayward, Minnesota, and Ida Mae and her four children moved into town to live with two of her sisters. Those three women raised my father and his three older siblings. My dad’s older brother, my uncle Harry, immediately found a job to help support the family. He worked on the bread truck before school, in the butcher shop after school, and at the local filling station on weekends. He was ten years old. My father began his work life at the age of six. He would get up with his brother at three in the morning, and they would work the bread truck and then deliver newspapers. They had a permanent tardy slip for school. My dad’s legacy will never be measured in terms of money or worldly achievements. My father’s mission was to break the cycle. His father abandoned the family, became a criminal, and ended up in prison. By will and determination, despite all the excuses he could have given, my father refused to accept the role of victim. He couldn’t change the past, but he worked hard to change the future. He set our whole family on a new course, and I believe it will affect many generations yet to come. My father’s legacy cannot be measured by the standard that most people hold up as the ideal. Most people judge a man’s success by how far he goes. My dad’s legacy must be judged in terms of how far he came. Was he perfect? No. Was he a faithful steward? Yes.
My father was a faithful steward who focused every day on using 100 percent of his time, talent, and treasure for God’s glory. I can’t remember a single dishonest act. I can’t remember him ever speaking ill of another person, or doing anything that neglected or dishonored my mother. That’s quite a legacy. That’s what it means to be a faithful steward. It’s not about how we handle money or achievements. It’s looking honestly at where we came from, appraising our resources—even if they are meager—and then humbly and gratefully using everything entrusted to us to bring glory to God.
Why Is Stewardship Important? Expressing Our Appreciation to God People who reduce stewardship to a money issue seem to be under the mistaken impression that God needs 10 percent of their money. In short, why would God be interested in 10 percent when He already owns 100 percent? God doesn’t need our money. We need to give money a lot more than God needs to get it. Frankly, your 10 percent isn’t going to be a big bonanza to God. God is not wringing His hands over whether we tithe or not. He has all the resources He needs to accomplish His will. If Jesus was able to take five loaves of bread and two fish from a young boy in the crowd and feed five thousand people until they were full, and had leftovers, my little bit of money is not going to make or break Him. You see, tithing really isn’t about God’s need to receive; it’s about our need to give. Tithing doesn’t earn greater favor with God. Instead, tithing gives us the opportunity to express our appreciation to God for His provision to us, and to participate in building His kingdom. What tithing does is to help us to remember that every good thing comes from Him. Tithing is not a blessing for God, but from God. Tithing, instituted by Abraham, is a way of thanking the One who has blessed us: 90 percent for temporal life, 10 percent (or more) for spiritual life. A faithful steward isn’t some miserly person who counts out 10 percent to drop in the offering plate Sunday after Sunday. A faithful steward devotes 100 percent of his time, talent, and treasure to God’s glory.
Knowing “Everything . . . Is Yours” We can see in 1 Chronicles 29 how King David “got it”—that he understood stewardship as just described. This passage shows David in his old age nearing the end of his life. He has assembled resources for the temple that his son Solomon will build. People have stepped up to this task, maybe even going beyond tithing. This is one of the last things that we hear from King David: Praise be to you, O Lord, God of our father Israel, from everlasting to everlasting. Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. (1 Chronicles 29:10–11) continued on page 60
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Academy Award® Winner
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A Book, A Movie, An Opportunity
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Seven Days in Utopia “Seven days in Utopia.” Sounds heavenly, doesn’t it? Maybe not, if you’re a young golfer who’s just blown a big tournament and then wrecked your car outside a little town called Utopia, Texas. That’s the beginning of the new movie, Seven Days in Utopia, opening August 12 in theatres nationwide. The movie stars Robert Duvall and Lucas Black. Why an article in Equipping about a movie? The movie is based on Golf’s Sacred Journey, by Man in the Mirror faculty member Dr. David L. Cook. David has quite an impressive resume. He is a noted sports psychologist, having worked with the likes of David Robinson and the San Antonio Spurs, as well as many successful golfers. He took his passion for Christ and knowledge of the game of golf—mental and physical—to create this compelling story of a man who has lost his way, then finds it again in a little Texas town. In the movie, Robert Duvall plays the caretaker of a rundown municipal course, The Links of Utopia. Lucas Black plays a young golfer whose frustration and anger dominate his life. He needs the steady hand of a mentor to get him back on track. Of course, he learns about more than golf from the wise Texan, who turns out to have a pretty significant golfing past of his own.
Life is never the same once you’ve been to Utopia.
Golf’s Sacred Journey is also one of the newest resources in Man in the Mirror’s Books by the Box program. The book demonstrates that, while past hurts and sins can weigh you down, only the gospel points the way to true redemption. The movie’s producers helped underwrite the cost of the books, making this the most affordable resource we’ve ever offered in the book program. Could this book be a tool for you to reach men you know? Golfers make up a huge demographic today. The National Golf Foundation estimates in 2008 there were 28.6 million golfers in the U.S. alone, with 16.6 million playing at least every 6 weeks or so. That’s not just a market, that’s a mission field! You can’t afford to miss this opportunity. So follow this simple 3-step plan to reach the men you know with this powerful message:
I N T HE ATE RS A UGUST www.sevendaysinutopia.com
©Utopia Films, LLC
12 THIS FILM IS NOT YET RATED
1. Get a box of books and give them away to all the golfers you know. 2. Invite some guys to go see the movie with you on August 12th. 3. Use the book and movie as a starting point for a conversation about what truly matters in life. For more information about the movie, the books and how to use them both to reach men effectively, go to the website: www.golfbookgiveaway.org.
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Why You Should Kill the Term “Men’s Ministry” By David Delk, President of Man in the Mirror .
Picture a typical men’s ministry at a typical church. Make a mental list of activities men would be doing over the next several months. Your list might include small groups, weekly Bible Study, a mission trip, a work day, sports and a retreat. Now, think about the things committed men will be doing at your church in the next week that are not part of that list. They’ll be doing things like teaching adult classes, leading small groups for couples/families, singing in the choir or praise team, working with audio/visual equipment, coaching sports teams, serving in the nursery, caring for the poor and needy, teaching elementary boys, leading a boy scout troop, working with the youth group, visiting the area assisted living home, and on and on. Does it really make sense to promote a “men’s ministry” that excludes all this incredible ministry being done by men in your church? We suggest you kill the term “men’s ministry” and instead start talking about an all-inclusive ministry to men, based on these two principles: 1. God has called you to disciple every willing man in your church and community, not just those who are currently coming to your “men’s only” events. An all-inclusive men’s ministry includes strategies for discipling all your men, however they choose to connect with your church. 2. Everything that any man does with your church is ministry to men. An all-inclusive ministry to men tries to maximize the kingdom impact of every interaction with every man, no matter the setting. This concept really crystallized when a church we worked with shared a “problem:” lots of young fathers from the community were being reached through their family sports program, getting involved in marriage and children’s events, going through training, and serving in leadership positions in the church--all without ever being involved in their “men’s ministry.” As we talked, they learned to expand their vision of what a ministry to men was all about. One great advantage of an all-inclusive ministry to men is that it helps every man feel like they’re a part of what God is doing through the men of the church. For instance, one church calls their ministry Iron Men. If you go to church there--even for one week—you are an Iron Man. Almost every time there is an announcement to the men, the statement is made: “Every man in our church is an Iron Man.” An all-inclusive ministry mindset transforms how you think about success in your ministry to men. It’s natural for men’s leaders to think in terms of how many men are involved in certain activities and the impact on their lives. So a leader desperately wants men to come to the
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breakfast, retreat, or service project. Of course these are good things, but measuring them may not have anything to do with your effectiveness. The only true measure of success in ministry to men is this: Is our church producing mature male disciples? If the answer to that question is yes, then you have an effective ministry to men, even if you don’t do a single “men’s only” activity or even if nobody comes to the ones you do.
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The role of a leadership team in An all-inclusive ministry to men an all-inclusive ministry to men tries to maximize the kingdom is to pour your support and impact of every interaction with resources into the efforts that are producing these disciples, every man, no matter the setting. even if they are co-ed or run by different “ministries” in the church. Of course every church will likely need some “men’s only” activities, but these serve the larger process and are not an end in themselves. So how do you get started with an all-inclusive ministry to men?
One great way is to think about the two or three most significant ministry efforts your church will undertake in the next year. Perhaps you do a community outreach at Thanksgiving, a Christmas musical, a new member weekend four times a year, a big family day in the spring, or a summer kid’s camp for the children in the community. These are likely also some of the best opportunities your church has for ministry to men. Let me give you some examples. One leadership team realized that the night of Vacation Bible School when the children sang for their parents was perhaps their best men’s outreach opportunity of the entire year. This children’s ministry event provided them with 30 or 40 unchurched men—yet they had never intentionally connected with them because it was not “men’s ministry.” So they built a plan to meet these dads and offer them a next step. Because they had a golf outing coming up several weeks after the VBS, they set up a putting green outside the worship center so the kids and dads could be part of a contest. Then they connected with the men and gave them information about the upcoming golf outing. One church realized they had never done anything to connect with the 50 or more unchurched men who sent their kids to the church’s preschool. They made plans to get with the school director and plan a father/child day with games and prizes so they could meet these men and give them some next steps. A church wanted to build more male leaders, so they were thinking about implementing a leadership curriculum for men. Then they realized a ministry that formed serving teams to meet needs in the community was already creating great leaders. Rather than try to establish a new ministry, they decided to get more men connected to the ministry that was already working. Another church has a major family festival for their community in the fall with thousands of attendees. The men’s leadership team realized continued on page 57
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q Read Your Bible, Decrease Your Debt? Survey reveals surprising financial insights of 1,000 Christian families
What is the best financial advice you can ever receive? The answer may surprise you. If you would like to decrease your debts and increase giving, national research shows the best thing to do is read your Bible daily! Over 1,000 Christian households annually participate in the View from the Pew research, a collaborative research project by MAXIMUM Generosity, Christianity Today International, and ECFA.
Equipping Your Men’s Small Group
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Get all your men engaged in the regular study of God’s Word by using this magazine as a small group tool. At the end of each week’s devotions, you’ll see a box containing discussion questions and exercises. These can form the basis of your time together. These pages supplement those questions with additional steps. If you use this magazine with your men this quarter you will have:
Daily Bible Readers Give More Generously Frequent Bible readers (4–7 days per week) are more than twice as likely to give 10% or more of their income to God’s work at their church and other ministries. Daily Bible reading leads people to a conviction that God is the true Provider. Bible readers recognize they are to be generous with whatever resources God entrusts to them during their lifetime.
Daily Bible Readers Have Less Debt Those who consistently read their Bible have less mortgage and car payments, or unpaid credit cards than those who don’t. Brian Kluth, author of the bestselling 40-Day Journey to a More Generous Life Bible devotional, says, “When you read, know, and practice God’s Word, the truth sets you free from financial bondage and foolish financial decisions.” For more details/graphs on the State of the Plate and View from the Pew research, go to: www.STATEofthePLATE.info.
• Pastor brian kluth
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Pastor Brian Kluth is a bestselling author, popular guest speaker, and frequent media guest on TV and radio talk shows and news channels. His bestselling www.GenerousLife.org 40-Day devotional has been used by over 1,500 churches to inspire generosity and increase giving. He is the founder of www.MAXIMUMgenerosity.org.
n e to your childre to model God’s lov s ay w r fo ed ay ✔✔Pr ren. and/or grandchild young people ch event for the ea tr ou e on to ed ✔✔Committ in your church. house on of “building your ce an rt po im e th ✔✔Acknowledged the rock .” made on your the impact they r fo e on me so d ✔✔Thanke spiritual journey. generous in your r your group to be fo ay w a n se ho C ✔✔ ity. church or commun to hear and ur life who need yo in le op pe r fo ✔✔Prayed e of salvation. accept the messag n a grace-based difference betwee e th ed iz gn co Re ✔✔ ship. legalistic relation relationship and a each day of the rsion of Psalm 139 ve t en er ff di a ✔✔Read week. gether spiritual battles to ht fig to s ay w me ✔✔Discussed so as a group. anking Him for , your Creator, th od G to er tt le a ✔✔Wrote in your life. His ongoing work hildren children or grandc e th h it w e tim ✔✔Spent some ues they face and sing the moral iss us sc di e lif ur yo in ay. those in a godly w helping them face pian and ric Liddell, Olym E of e lif e th d ✔✔Examine h his running. orified God throug missionary, who gl Continued on page 12
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Small Group Guide continued from page 11
q 7/1-7/10: In this week’s devotions you’ll focus in on the value of passing
q 8/22-8/28: This week your men will look at the impact a man’s secret thoughts can have on his life. SAS: This week, go to www.biblegateway. com and read Psalm 139. Each day choose to read a different version or translation. At the end of the week, write down some thoughts from your readings to share with the group. Next week, we’ll spend a few moments discussing what everyone learned. From last week, share your experience in trying to make a grace-based change in your life.
on your faith to your children and grandchildren. Suggested Application Step (SAS): Spend a few minutes in silent prayer for your children and/or grandchildren. Ask God to show you some specific ways you can model His love to them. Throughout this next week, be sensitive to any opportunity that may allow you that do that for them.
q 7/11-7/17: These devotions teach you about the choices our children will make regarding staying or leaving the church. SAS: Make a list of ways you and your group could reach out to some of the young people in your church. Which of these events would you like to commit to doing in the next 30 days? What do you need to do today to get this started? q 7/18-7/24: In this week of devotions you’ll learn about the value of
q 8/29-9/4: This week’s devotionals address the serious issue of spiri-
tual warfare. SAS: List some incidents in your life where you believed you were involved in a spiritual battle. How can you prepare for these battles? How can you come alongside someone in the midst of a spiritual battle as a fellow warrior? Discuss some specific ways you can do this as a group. From last week, what did you learn from Psalm 139?
building your house upon the rock rather than the sand. SAS: On a large piece of paper or whiteboard, list some current events that shake men’s foundations. Which of those events are you able to control? What can you do about the uncontrollable events in your lives? From last week, share your efforts in making a grace-based change in a relationship.
q 9/5-9/11: These devotions remind you that God is the Author,
Sculptor and Potter of your lives. SAS: Reflect for a few minutes about your favorite book, movie, painting or other work of art. If you were the creator of that work, how would you feel about your piece of art? Write a letter to God—perhaps in your journal—thanking Him for creating you and changing you into His image.
q 7/25-7/31: Our devotional theme this week is about the temptation
to lose faith and how God wants to help you overcome that temptation. SAS: Name the most recent time in your life that your faith felt weak. Who or what helped you back to your spiritual journey? How did they minister to you? Sometime today, take a moment to call or write a person who had an impact on your walk with God and thank them for the care they gave you.
q 8/1-8/7: This week your men will gain spiritual insights regarding
generosity. SAS: Share a time when someone has been generous with you or you have been generous with someone. How did it feel to receive that generosity or give that generosity? How does God use generosity in the lives of believers? In the lives of unbelievers? Decide on a concrete way your group can be generous with someone in your church or community. Make it happen.
q 9/12-9/18: This week you’ll see how important it is to pass on moral integrity to your children. SAS: Throughout this next week, ask your children or grandchildren some tough questions like: Is it ever okay to lie or steal? When is it all right to cheat on a test? What would you do if someone dropped some money but they didn’t notice it? Use this time to talk with them about the options they have and the right choices to make.
q 9/19-9/25: These devotions help you focus on the fact that you glorify
God through your life and that brings meaning and purpose to your lives. SAS: Rent Chariots of Fire and watch the movie together as a group. Discuss the difficult choices Eric Liddell made that brought glory to the Lord. How could Liddell’s Olympic career have turned out differently? What impact would that have had on his relationship with God?
q 8/8-8/14: This week’s devotions give insight into how the Good News of
Jesus was received during His earthly ministry and today. SAS: Think back to the time that you first heard the Gospel message of salvation. What things about that situation or the message impacted you the most? Why? In groups of two, spend five minutes in prayer for people in your lives who need to hear the Good News of Jesus.
q 8/15/-8/21: This week you will read about the difference between rela-
tionships based on grace and legalism. SAS: If you recognized the need to change any of your relationships to a grace-filled model, how are you going to do that? What changes need to be made? Decide on one grace-based change you want to make and ask God to help you make that change this week. Come back next week, ready to share your experience in trying to make that change.
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THE PRICE OF SUCCESS
Use Equipping the Man in the Mirror for Your Small Group
•• Start with the group discussion questions at the end of each week of devotions. •• Use these two pages (12 and 13) to dig deeper with your small group. •• For more resources, look on pages 30 and 31 for great books to read and study.
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How to Use This Devotional
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To make the most of Equipping the Man in the Mirror, we have dissected a devotional so you don’t miss any aspect of the magazine (see below).
Completion checkbox Correlating Scripture
One-year Bible daily reading
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Source material
Discussion/journal questions
Friday, Saturday, Sunday—July 1, 2, 3 • Not Well-Received The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14
A friend and his wife were at a restaurant talking about their financial giving for the next year. They had their plans laid out all over the table and their waitress asked about their discussion. He told her what they were discussing and the waitress started a discussion about organ donation. My friend commended her for being willing to give up part of her body when she dies. As their dialogue continued, he tried to explain the magnitude of the decisions about heaven and hell. The server responded, “You are awfully judgmental, thinking that you know what will happen to me when I die.” He replied, “I’m not being judgmental, I’m just talking to you about what we believe is important.” Later, my friend asked his wife, “Was I rude or judgmental in any way?” She assured him that he was not. The server
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was simply offended by the message of Jesus. When Jesus came to earth, He came with a radical message. He said and did things that upset people. He performed miracles on the Sabbath. He invited the disciples to leave everything and follow Him. He told us to love our enemies. Jesus said He is the only way to eternal life. During His earthly ministry, Jesus’ message was not always well received. If we are faithful to the message, the same thing will be true today. MIMBS 1 Have you ever experienced hostility about the message of the Bible? How did you deal with that? Daily Reading: 2 Kings 18:13-23:30, Acts 21:1-22:16, Psalm 149:1-150:6, Psalm 1:1-6, Proverbs 18:8-12
Monday—July 4 • A Million Bucks And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” Matthew 3:17
My son, John, had a coach who spoke gruffly and abruptly. John decided that the coach didn’t like him. After an awards ceremony, the coach shook the boys’ hands—except my son’s. John was down at the end hidden behind another boy and the coach didn’t see him. John came home and said, “See Mom, I told you, he doesn’t like me.” Patsy is a wise person so she made an appointment to see the coach. The coach never intended to ignore John and was embarrassed that he had. Over the next couple of weeks, the coach made it a point to acknowledge John
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and that made him feel like a million bucks. One day John asked, “Mom, can you talk to all of my teachers, too?” Even God took the time to publicly affirm His son. He set the example for us of the power of encouragement and blessing. It takes so little to impact a child in a good way or a negative way. Our lack of attention can hurt their hearts, but kind words and positive affirmation can empower them. MIMBS 5 How can you empower and affirm a child or grandchild in your life? Daily Reading: 2 Kings 23:3125:30, Acts 22:17-23:10, Psalm 2:1-12, Proverbs 18:13
Tuesday—July 5 • The Greatest Thing
But God removed Saul and replaced him with David, a man about whom God said, "I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart. He will do everything I want him to do." Acts 13:22 nlt What is the greatest thing that has ever happened to you? If you are a Christian, no doubt you would answer that it was to become a follower of Jesus Christ. Jesus changes lives and hearts. Nothing else and no one else can do that. If that is the best thing that’s ever happened to you, don’t you want that same thing for your children? I remember sitting down one day and analytically thinking about this. What is the single most important thing I can do for my children? How can I give them the greatest opportunity for happiness, success,
meaning and purpose in life? I filled up a page or two of notes—and then I crumpled it all up and threw it away. I recognized the single most important thing that I can do for my children is to help them develop a heart for God. MIMBS 5 Do you feel like becoming a follower of Christ is the best thing that has happened to you? What are some concrete ways you can communicate that to your children? Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 1:1-2:17, Acts 23:11-35, Psalm 3:1-8, Proverbs 18:14-15
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Wednesday—July 6 • Faith for the Future
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Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the father loves his child as well. 1 John 5:1 Statistics vary, but it is estimated that as many as 88 percent of children in the church will stop attending by the time they are seniors in high school. That is heartbreaking news because one of the most important parts of my life is my faith. None of us want our children to miss out on that incredible relationship with God and the church. Why do our children leave the church? We have to ask ourselves some tough questions to find the answers. Do our children see our faith as real? Do we view the church as a vital part of our life? Do we invest time, talent and money into our local church? Is the church meeting the needs of the next
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generation? Does our relationship with God reflect in our daily life at home? Do we convey God’s love to our children? The next generation has difficult decisions to make about their faith. Much of what they decide about that will depend upon what they’ve seen in our faith. What are we showing them? MIMBS 5 Did you grow up in the church? If so, was there a time in your life when you made the decision to stay or leave the church? What helped you answer that question for yourself? Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 2:18-4:4, Acts 24:127, Psalm 4:1-8, Proverbs 18:16-18
Thursday—July 7 • Faith for the Future We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wonders. Psalm 78:4 nlt
How do you make faith appealing to your children? How can a father give his children a heart for God? Here are three suggestions: Pray for them. Begin praying for them when they are young and never stop. Pray for their hearts to be open to God, for healthy relationships, good teachers, health, safety, etc. As they grow into teenagers, believe me you will pray! When they begin to make their own decisions it may be all that you are able to do. Instruct your children about the things of God and the things of this world. Don’t rely on someone else to teach them. Make sure they
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hear about God and the life lessons in the Bible from you. Model your Christian faith before them. Your modeling should have two goals: That there would be a one-to-one correlation between your public and private life. Because we know that won’t always happen, we ought to have honest humility to confess our faults before our kids. MIMBS 5 Was your faith modeled for you as a child? Where did you learn the lessons from the Bible? Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 4:5-5:17, Acts 25:1-27, Psalm 5:1-12, Proverbs 18:19
Friday, Saturday, Sunday—July 8, 9, 10 • Passing on Your Faith O my people, listen to my instructions. Open your ears to what I am saying, for I will speak to you in a parable. I will teach you hidden lessons from our past— stories we have heard and known, stories our ancestors handed down to us. Psalm 78:1–3 nlt
We all want our children to follow and love the Lord. That relationship will ultimately be up to them, but here are some things you can have them do to cultivate that relationship. The first thing is to make them go to church. With every sport or skill you want to develop, you have to practice and learn from others. It’s the same way with Christianity. Church is one of the main places where they’re going to develop Christian friends, hear Bible stories, be exposed to meaningful youth activities and hear the Gospel of Jesus Christ. If they’re not in church they are not going to get the whole message. Secondly, get the kids involved in missions and service. Both of my children have had dramatic experiences of going on missions’ trips to places like Mexico and China. These trips are a great place to get to know the world,
see the needs of others and experience changed lives. There are many opportunities here in the States or abroad that can give your children a heart for God. The final thing is to teach your children the value of devotions. Start when they are young with a simple Bible reading, a story or object lesson, a couple of questions to discuss and a few minutes in prayer. As your children grow up, encourage them to have their own private devotions. Through these times of devotions, your children will get to know God and the Bible, how it applies to their lives and the joy and power of prayer. God will work through you to show His love to your children. He wants your children to follow Him and live for Him. Passing on our faith is the most important inheritance our children can receive. MIMBS 5 List four things you would like to pass on to your children and grandchildren about your faith. Share your ideas with a group. Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 5:18-10:14, Acts 26:1-27:44,Psalm 6:1-8:9, Proverbs 18:20-24
For Your Small Group
❏❏ For July 1–10: From page 16, what are the three ways a father can encourage his child to have a heart for God. •• Does one of those ways seem more difficult than the others? If so, explain. •• Did someone pray, instruct or model the love of God for you? •• If so, how did that impact your life? If not, how did that impact your life?
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Monday—July 11 • Stay or Leave?
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But since they don’t have deep roots, they don’t last long. They fall away as soon as they have problems or are persecuted for believing God’s word. Mark 4:17 nlt Children leave the church for the same reasons adults do. They leave because it isn’t important to them or the things that are talked about or done at church are irrelevant. They leave because they get their feelings hurt or have faced some kind of condemnation. They leave over disagreements or theological differences. The list could go on and on. For our great grandparents, the church was a vital part of life. It was the only place for people to gather together for worship, for fellowship, for discussions of faith and for town meetings. It was the center of their lives and their community.
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Our kids have many other options for those opportunities. To stay in the church, they must see that being with believers and going to church are vital to their spiritual life. They must see that even though the church is flawed, it has great worth. Where will they learn that? Why, from us, of course. MIMBS 6 Have you passed on the importance of the church to your children? How has that been received? Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 11:1-12:18, Acts 28:1-31, Psalm 9:1-12, Proverbs 19:1-3
Tuesday—July 12 • Lost and Found We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life! He was lost, but now he is found! Luke 15:32 nlt
Many young people go through a time in life when they leave the church. Perhaps their parents brought them to church but they never embraced that faith as their own. Maybe they are going through a time of rebellion. They loved church at one time but other things are pulling at them and, for now, they are choosing those other things. The story of the Prodigal Son tells a similar story.
These are difficult times for parents. We desire our children to love God and the church. When kids struggle with the importance of church in their own lives it is not necessarily bad. God can mightily use these times to strengthen and ground the faith of our children. Sometimes that struggle ends up being the bridge that allows our children to truly embrace faith and make it a part of their own lives. Entrust your children to God and pray that He will use these times to forge a strong faith in their hearts. Remember these times may be painful, but good. MIMBS 6 With your small group, discuss those times when men have left the church and how God used those times in their lives. Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 12:19-14:17, Romans 1:1-17, Psalm 9:13-20, Proverbs 19:4-5
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Wednesday—July 13 • Adam Failed For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23 nlt
This may be the key lesson our kids need to understand: when God created Adam and Eve, they were made in His image. But human nature and the power of choice took over and, in the Garden of Eden, man failed. Man was perfectly created, and then he sinned. The consequences were devastating. At times we can be critical of the choices made by the first man and woman. But they were just like us—discontent. That discontent led to disobedience and sin. Understanding man’s fallen nature explains much of what happens in the world. There is not one among us who has not
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sinned. Because of that sin, we are all destined to die, separated from God. The “pension” or “wages” of sin is death. No matter how hard we try, we cannot make ourselves better. We cannot fix this problem on our own; we need a Savior. MIMBS 6 How would you explain “sin” to your children? What are the ramifications of sin in the lives of our kids? Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 15:1-16:36, Romans 1:18-32, Psalm 10:1-15, Proverbs 19:6-7
Thursday—July 14 • Jesus Paid the Price The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, “Look! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world! John 1:29 nlt
Think about the people that you would be willing to die for. The list might include your wife, your children, a brother or sister or your parents. For most of us, it would be a very short list. While our list was short, Jesus’ list was long! He paid the ultimate price for all of us with His death on the cross. The wages of our sin was death, but Jesus paid that debt
on our behalf. Imagine—God created us, we disobeyed and sinned against Him and then, out of love, He sent His Son to pay for that sin. That is love that most of us can’t imagine. When we genuinely understand the kind of sacrifice Jesus made for us and the love that the Father has for us, we know what a gift we have been given. What an important message for us to share with our kids! MIMBS 6 How does it make you feel to know the sacrifice that Jesus made for you? Humble? Joyful? Grateful? Cherished? Overwhelmed? Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 16:37-18:17, Romans 2:1-24, Psalm 10:16-18, Proverbs 19:8-9
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Friday, Saturday, Sunday—July 15, 16 17 • It’s a Gift Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God. John 1:12
I had a discussion with a man about Romans 6:23. I shared with him about the failure of man and the sinfulness of man. We talked about the profound sacrifice of God sending His Son to earth to pay our debt through Jesus’ death on the cross. Our discussion also included talking about the gift of eternal life and what that will mean for believers. He concluded, “I just don’t feel like I’m worthy.” I responded, “You’re beginning to understand—there is nothing you can do to be good enough for Jesus to love you. No matter what good things you do, you can’t earn eternal life. But no matter what you’ve done, you can be forgiven. All you need to do to receive this gift is to turn to God in repentance and in faith to Jesus Christ. You can do that by inviting Him into your heart and life. You can do that today by praying to Him.” The message is simple, “For the wages of sin is death, but
the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23, nlt). The words are not complicated and the steps are not complex. That does not mean it is simple to do. It is the recognition of our sinful selves, the profound and loving sacrifice of Jesus, our inability to obtain salvation or eternal life on our own, and the acceptance of the greatest gift ever offered to us. To become a believer, we must be very clear about the messages in the verse. Our children need to know this message and humbly accept it as their own faith. MIMBS 6 How did you come to know the message of Romans 6:23? Who shared it with you? Did you accept it right away or was it part of a process for you? Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 19:1-26:11, Romans 2:25-4:12, Psalm 11:1-13:6, Proverbs 19:10-16
For Your Small Group
❏❏ For July 11–17: Spend a few minutes discussing the ways your church is ministering to the younger generations. •• In what ways does a ministry to younger men look the same as our ministry to the older people in our church? In what ways is it different? •• Do our actions show that we believe that it is important to reach the next generations? •• What is a concrete way that our group could minister to a group of young men from our church or community?
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Monday—July 18 • The Strangest Things
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” John 11:25–26 Several years ago, I walked into a morning Bible study after being away for a couple of weeks. I said, “It feels good to be back! You all know my life, my teaching. You know how I have conducted myself. Now, listen to me, because I’m telling you the truth. I am the resurrection and the life, and if you believe in me, you’ll never perish.” Several men looked sideways at each other before they laughed nervously. Claims like that make people uncomfortable. Jesus knew that, yet He didn’t shy away from revealing His identity. In this particular instance, when talking to His friend, Martha, about the death of her brother,
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Lazarus, Jesus claimed to be the resurrection and the life. Then He went to the tomb and called to the dead man, and Lazarus walked out, still wearing his grave clothes. Jesus’ power over death put an exclamation point on His claim to be the resurrection and the life. That day at Martha’s house, people had to decide what they believed about Jesus. We still must decide—will we believe His claims, or not? MIMBS 3 How do you think people responded to Jesus’ claims when they heard them from His own lips? How would people respond today? Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 26:12-27:34, Romans 4:13-5:5, Psalm 14:1-7, Proverbs 19:17
Tuesday—July 19 • Hot or Cold Reaction Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.” Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father.” John 14:8–9
Some people say Jesus was just a great teacher. C.S. Lewis answered that in his book Mere Christianity. He wrote, “A man who is merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said, would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic—on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg—or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a mad man or something worse . . . let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us.” Jesus’ claims do not leave room for a
lukewarm reaction. They leave only three options for how we view Him. We can see Him as a liar, the author of a huge hoax. We can see Him as a lunatic, not responsible for any false claims because He was crazy. Or we can see Him as Lord, the embodiment of all the claims He made for Himself. MIMBS 3 How would you answer someone who said that Jesus was a great moral teacher, but nothing more? Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 28:1-29:30, Romans 5:6-21, Psalm 15:1-5, Proverbs 19:18-19
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Wednesday—July 20 • A Cure for the Double-Minded
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“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other . . . You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of others, but God knows your hearts. What people value highly is detestable in God’s sight.” Luke 16:13, 15 Some men live as if Jesus’ claims about Himself might be true, but they really only matter on Sundays. Those men are doubleminded. They visit Christianity, but they don’t live there. Or perhaps they’ve been Christians for so long they’ve allowed their view of Jesus to be diminished by other demands on their attention. Those men need to understand that the mere concept of Jesus is bigger and greater than any other idea they will ever have. When I was in business, I received awards from universities and business groups. I soon learned that no worldly honor comes without an ulterior motive—usually seeking a donation, or expressing appreciation
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for a donation. When I left the business world, the honors stopped, but I was okay with that, because I was in relationship with Jesus Christ. He is my first, best, highest and greatest thought in every situation. Jesus is the all-sufficient answer to every need. If you’ve been double-minded in your relationship with Jesus, surrender to Him and trust His sufficiency. MIMBS 3 Jesus desires a singular focus in our relationship with Him. What things in your life compete for His rightful place in your heart and in your mind? Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 1:1-3:17, Romans 6:1-23, Psalm 16:1-11, Proverbs 19:20-21
Thursday—July 21 • Dealing with Doubt Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” John 20:27–30
Scripture tells us that Jesus’ disciple Thomas needed personal evidence that Jesus had, indeed, risen from the grave. Perhaps you are dealing with similar doubts about Jesus’ identity. Ask Jesus to reveal Himself to you, and let Him remind you of the claims He made when He lived on earth. I encourage you to repent from your doubting and choose to believe, even before you see the evidence of Christ’s divinity. According to Jesus, you’ll be blessed. Or perhaps you live or work with a doubter. Prayerfully consider presenting to that person the claims Jesus made about Himself. Jesus’ own words call every person to a point of decision. Don’t be afraid to present the idea that, when Jesus
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made those claims, He didn’t leave room for anyone to accept Him as just another good guy. He left us with three options: either He’s a liar, a lunatic, or He really is who He claims to be—King of kings and Lord of lords, supreme ruler of the universe, and the one who deserves to be Lord of every person’s life. MIMBS 3 Who do you know that is still waiting for more convincing evidence before they make a commitment to Christ? Pray with some other men that they would come to faith in Christ, and ask God to show you your role in that decision. Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 4:1-6:11, Romans 7:1-13, Psalm 17:1-15, Proverbs 19:22-23
Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. . . . But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. Matthew 7:24, 26 Today’s scripture describes a wise man building his house on rock, and a foolish man on sand. When storms come, the house on sand washes away, but the house on rock stands firm. The wise builder represents a man who hears Jesus’ words and puts them into practice, while the foolish builder represents the man who chooses not to put them into practice. A prudent person allows Jesus to provide his life’s organizing principles. Many years ago, I began organizing my life around this statement: I will commit myself to a life of devotion and study of God, then speak and teach and write about what I am learning. That simple statement means my top priority is loving God and discovering more and more about Him. Everything else is secondary. I often share my dad’s story. He was the youngest of four children, abandoned by their father and growing up in poverty. Dad tried to break that cycle, and I also have worked to break that cycle. At a meeting several years ago, I noticed a man with
the “deer-in-the-headlights look” that reveals deep pain. The 41-year-old man had come with his mother. He was in a difficult marriage and had two small children. His wife grew up in a culture of divorce, and she was already divorced once. After hearing my story, this man committed that he was not going to give up. He was determined to do what was necessary to break that cycle. How do you make a commitment like that and make it stick? You let Jesus provide the organizing principles for your life. You must make Him your highest and best thought in every situation. Eventually we all realize we cannot live the Christian life on our own. We must let Jesus live it through us. MIMBS 3 Prayerfully consider what Jesus wants as the organizing principle of your life. Write it here as a purpose statement: ___________________ _____________________________________ Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 6:12-13:22, Romans 7:14-8:39, Psalm 18:1-50, Proverbs 19:24-29
For Your Small Group
❏❏ For July 18–24: Share some ways that men build their house on sand and ways they build their house on the rock. •• When do you see the consequences of someone’s choice of a particular foundation? •• How has your choice of a foundation made a difference at critical times? •• How does the world try to influence the way you build? How does your relationship with God give you a “rock-solid” foundation?
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Monday—July 25 • Tempted to Turn Back
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From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. “You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve. Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God.” John 6:66–69 At some point, almost all of us are tempted to turn away from Christ. One of my most gruesome experiences came toward the end of a seven-year business crisis. I had to deal with a difficult person who desired to ruin me. My crisis was not the result of any type of moral lapse on my part. It just happened. About five years into this situation, I felt totally exhausted. To be honest, I felt like God had abandoned me. I remember calling my lawyer and saying, “I can’t take this anymore. I give up. Call them and say they can have whatever they want, even if I have
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to go under.” My lawyer responded, “Pat, why don’t you just let me handle this for awhile?” I felt such incredible relief. In addition, I had this strong sense that Christ was still with me. Even when I was trying to turn away, Christ held me. He honored His biblical promise that He would never forsake me. MIMBS 4 In a group, share a time when your faith has been tested. Did you turn away, or did you stand firm? If you stood firm, what helped you to do that? Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 14:1-16:14, Romans 9:1-24, Psalm 19:1-14, Proverbs 20:1
Tuesday—July 26 • Fishing for Men or Fish?
Simon Peter, Thomas (also known as Didymus), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. “I’m going out to fish,” Simon Peter told them, and they said, “We’ll go with you.” So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing. John 21:2–3 Early in the Gospels, we learn that Peter and some of the other disciples were fishermen. When Jesus called them, He said, “I’ll teach you how to fish for men.” Yet here, at the end of the book of John, after Jesus’ death and resurrection, Peter and some of his friends went back to try fishing for fish. If you figure out the timeline, you’ll see it had been several weeks since they saw Jesus. I believe they were a little at a loss, perhaps feeling abandoned. They knew they were supposed to fish for men, but they weren’t sure how to do that in the absence of their Teacher. So they went back to what they knew: fishing for fish.
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It seems like they gave up on Jesus, but He didn’t give up on them. When you read the next verse (John 21:4), you find He was standing on the shore waiting for them. And when they didn’t recognize Him, He called out to get their attention. MIMBS 4 Have you been struggling to figure out what you’re supposed to do next to follow God’s call on your life? Pray for Jesus to show Himself to you and help you get on track. Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 17:1-18:34, Romans 9:25-10:13, Psalm 20:1-9, Proverbs 20:2-3
Wednesday—July 27 • Jesus Reveals His Identity Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus. He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?” “No,” they answered. He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish. Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” John 21:4–7a
He just showed up. When they didn’t notice His presence, He got their attention, and He revealed His identity by demonstrating His power over their labor. Picture it—no fish on the left side of the boat, but a huge number on the right. The disciples clearly did not have the power to catch fish on their own, even though it was their area of expertise. But Jesus showed them how to catch a huge number, simply by moving the net to the other side of the boat. After Jesus revealed His presence and His identity, He invited the disciples to fellowship with Him. “When they landed, they
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saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread” (John 21:9). Jesus didn’t rebuke His disciples for a lack of faith. He simply served them breakfast and, in the process, He erased the feeling of abandonment by assuring them of His loving commitment to them. MIMBS 4 In what area of your life do you need Jesus to show up? Where do you need Him to reveal Himself and His power? Write a short prayer inviting Him to do that. Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 19:1-20:37, Romans 10:14-11:12, Psalm 21:1-13, Proverbs 20:4-6
Thursday—July 28 • Reinstating the Calling
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” John 21:15 Jesus helps us through our feelings of abandonment by revealing His presence and His identity, and by inviting us to fellowship. When we have allowed our feelings of abandonment to lead us away from the tasks to which He has called us, Jesus also reinstates our calling and restores our sense of purpose. In this passage, Jesus repeats Peter’s calling three times. He renews Peter’s sense of acceptance by reinstating his understanding of his purpose. We all struggle with feelings of abandonment sometimes, especially if we’ve grown up in families that disintegrated. Yet the entirety of Scripture reveals a God who will
not forsake or abandon His children. In times of discouragement, it’s important to stay alert to Jesus’ presence, trust His identity, stay in His fellowship, and trust His calling. We can choose that we will not abandon the very One who has not abandoned us. MIMBS 4 Why is it comforting to know that, when we are tempted to turn away from our faith, Jesus is willing to reinstate our fellowship with Him, and also to renew our purpose? Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 21:1-23:21, Romans 11:13-36, Psalm 22:1-18, Proverbs 20:7
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q Friday, Saturday, Sunday—July 29, 30, 31 • Run with Perseverance Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus. Hebrews 12:1–2a Several years ago, I talked to a man who had been involved in evangelizing and discipling other men. He was facing a difficult choice. He found his current work to be very satisfying, but he had an opportunity to move to a job that provided significantly more money and also offered greater prestige. He was working 40 hours per week, and if he changed jobs, he would have to work 60 hours per week. Naturally, that would limit the time available for ministry. He sought prayer and counsel. He told me later about two conversations that helped clarify his decision. First, this man is known for being quite frugal, and one of his friends asked, “Is it really worth adding 20 hours of work each week, just so you can drive a car that’s one year newer than the used car you have now?” Then his wife pointed out that, in his current job, he frequently was able to come home for
lunch. In the new job, he wouldn’t be home until after dark. His wife asked, “What is it worth to you to be able to come home for lunch almost every day?” Those two questions helped my friend gain perspective, to look at this decision not just from the viewpoint of what he would gain, but also what he would lose if he changed jobs. He realized he was being tempted to trade his life of purpose for something that, in the end, would not really satisfy. In the words of today’s scripture, he chose to run with perseverance the race that had been marked out for him. MIMBS 4
Monday—August 1 • Generous Giver For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
If we wish to become generous givers, then we must know this scripture intimately. It reminds us that God does not ask of us anything that He has not first done for us. He has provided the highest model of generosity, and He calls for biblical people to follow. A generous giver is someone whose heart generates love. It is not a sentimental or romantic love, but a love built on compassion and care, a love that is drawn to the broken and fragmented creatures and conditions of our world. Following God’s example, the generous giver gives out of his or her very best. God gave His only Son; we give from the depths of our resources and abilities. We give not a
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Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 24:1-29:36, Romans 12:1-14:23, Psalm 22:19-24:10, Proverbs 20:8-12
Imagine sitting in the congregation when Paul’s letter to the Corinthian people was first read. Are the Corinthian Christians squirming as he pokes and prods at their spiritual resilience? They were a boastful, self-confident people. They reveled in their size, their accumulative talents, the sophistication of their people. “I want to test the sincerity of your love,” Paul wrote. And how does he do it? By making some comparisons. “You know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ,” he wrote. Presumably they did, but Paul described it anyway: He who was rich chose to become poor so that you might become spiritually rich. There is here what some might call a transfer of wealth—from heaven to Corinth. Jesus was the chief of generous givers. Generous giving starts when it hurts
For Your Small Group
•• Why did the disciples go back to fishing? How did Jesus minister to their lack of faith? •• Have you ever been tempted to give up on your faith? What has kept you from losing faith or what brought you back to faith? •• Is there an area of life that is a particular struggle for you today? How can the group pray for you in that area of life?
token of our wealth, but sacrificially. As God sacrificed His Son, so we follow and give even those things that are most precious to us in our personal worlds: our time, our convenience, and our creature comforts. It is the will of God that we become generous givers. But He would never ask us to do what He has not first done for us. GGM What are two ways God has been extravagantly generous to you? What impact have these gifts had on your life? Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 30:1-31:21, Romans 15:1-22, Psalm 25:1-15, Proverbs 20:13-15
Tuesday—August 2 • Jesus Gave It All
What difficult choices are you facing right now? Ask some other men how they would suggest you identify the course that Jesus has marked for you. How will you prepare to run with perseverance?
❏❏ For July 25–31: Ask someone to read the devotional, “Jesus Reveals His Identity” from Wednesday, July 27.
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I am not commanding you, but I want to test the sincerity of your love by comparing it with the earnestness of others. For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich. 2 Corinthians 8:8–9 to give. When one moves in the direction of “poverty” in order to make someone else “rich.” Jesus set the pace in His incarnation and His atonement at the cross. He went from wealth to poverty that we might go from poverty to wealth. That is our model. That is our call. GGM Describe an example from your life when you have given generously. What impact did this have on both you and the recipient? Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 32:1-33:13, Romans 15:23-16:9, Psalm 25:16-22, Proverbs 20:16-18
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Wednesday—August 3 • A Culture of Generosity
All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of His possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had . . . there were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need. Acts 4:32, 34–35 Luke, author of Acts, traces the growth and development of the first church, stopping occasionally to give us a paragraph of commentary or overview of how things are going. This is one of the places. It is a remarkable thing to be able to say, “There were no needy persons among them.” This mind and heart perspective explained much of the success of the early church. In a heartless world, the generosity of the first Christian generation was such a stunning contrast that people everywhere took notice. It is fair to speculate that Christian generosity and service did more to win people to the Gospel of Christ than all the preaching that was done.
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Generous giving is the foundation of the Christian movement. It was there from the very beginning. Not that well organized, it nevertheless was the overflow out of hearts that had found the mercy of Christ. And as they had received mercy, so they felt compelled to give it in practical ways. GGM What are some tangible ways that today’s Christian church can model the generosity of the early Christian church? Share your thoughts with some other men. Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 33:14-34:33, Romans 16:10-27, Psalm 26:1-12, Proverbs 20:19
Thursday—August 4 • Examine Your Heart Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:23–24
You would think that when someone brings a gift to the temple that those receiving it would be happy to get it under any circumstances. But here, Jesus puts a condition on gifts. He says that giving must be preceded by certain actions that are inherently spiritual and relational. In fact, He appears to be discouraging giving if one has not given careful attention to other issues . . . such as the quality of relationship between the would-be giver and his or her “brother” or “sister.” Jesus regards giving as a whole-person event. The gift on the altar is not impressive to Him if it is not preceded by a “gift” of another kind in another part of life. In this case: the gift of reconciliation whether it means asking forgiveness or giving it.
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Leave your gift where it is and go to your “brother.” The spiritual life of the generous giver comes more and more into play in these passages. God seeks generous givers. But, first, He seeks generous givers whose hearts are right with Him and with others. GGM Why do you think Jesus calls us to place relationships above giving? Are there relationships in your life that you need to “leave your gift in front of the altar” and go make right? Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 35:1-36:23, 1 Corinthians 1:1-17, Psalm 27:1-6, Proverbs 20:20-21
Creating “Space” In Your Life for Generosity
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From the Pages of Halftime by Bob Buford Bob Buford’s book, Halftime, shows men how to make the second half of their life better than the first. He focuses on this important time of transition when, as he says, a person pauses to consider what will make their remaining years rich and meaningful. This is a great resource for small groups and a great value at 48 books for $55! To order, go to www.maninthemirror.org/store. Enjoy this excerpt from Halftime. If you have followed the mutual funds market, you are probably familiar with the name Peter Lynch. Peter is a terrific example of someone who transformed economic capital into social capital. As portfolio manager for Fidelity Investments’ Magellan Fund, he took the fund from twenty million to fourteen billion in his thirteen-year tenure at its helm. He had it all. Great job. Great family. Great satisfaction from working with charities. Yet at age forty-six, he decided to put boundaries on the time he was willing to spend at his job so that he could assume greater control over his life. Lynch had come to the realization that eventually overtakes all of us: I can’t keep living like this. It’s not that what he was doing was so bad. In fact, it was all very good. But, as he explained, “For me it was like hot fudge sundaes: How much can you handle without getting a stomachache?” He now leaves home at 8 am after his kids leave. He works four days a week (two for Fidelity and two for charity), and Mondays he allocates entirely to his wife. Most first-halfers become victims of centrifugal force. Around the perimeter of their lives are vital points that demand attention: family, work, community involvement (service clubs, local school, etc.), church, professional development, leisure activities, and avocations. They begin with every good intention of tending to each, but in order to do that, they have to shift into a higher gear. Before long, they are spinning rapidly around the perimeter, the resulting force driving them farther and farther from the center, the core of who they are. At that point, all control has been lost. The second half is about regaining control of your life—about calling your own shots. Do you think it was easy for Peter Lynch to tell his colleagues at Fidelity Investments that he was no longer going to manage their most profitable and visible fund? He was able to do it because he knew that being unable to control his work life would sooner or later result in a major loss in the other important areas of his life. Getting back to the center requires us to downshift, to slow down. And once we return to the core—once we know who we are and what’s in the box—we can accept the fact that some of the things on the perimeter will not receive as much attention as they once did. Some things will be more important than others; some may need to be ignored altogether. But regardless of what stays and what gets tossed aside, the point is that we no longer let someone else decide that for us. We create capacity for the things that matter.
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q Friday, Saturday, Sunday—August 5, 6, 7 • Establish a Giving Plan Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 2 Corinthians 9:7 In this verse, Paul introduced the idea of a giving plan. Here are the implications of Paul’s words. A giving plan begins with the settled conviction that what I have earned or what has been given to me is not mine, but it belongs to God. Having said that, what percentage of the possessions God has entrusted to us does He expect us to give away? The Bible’s starting point is the tithe. For some, there may be times when even ten percent seems impossible. The important thing, then, is to at least pick a percentage that is small enough to be reachable, yet large enough to stretch one’s faith a bit. And yet our goal remains the same: always to be working toward the day when our giving exceeds the simple tithe. Once we have determined the amount we intend to give, we need to set our priorities in giving. Where shall my gifts go? Some believe that one’s primary gift should go to his or her spiritual
community: the church. This seems a prudent idea since it is one’s community that provides mutual support and challenge for the spiritual journey. Beyond that priority, each generous giver must listen to the voice of God, and look diligently for opportunities. What organizations of service align with one’s sense of call? Some of us will feel compelled to help educate others; others will be drawn to missionary service. Still others will feel compelled to reach out to prisoners or to the homeless. What is God saying to you? This is the beginning of a giving plan. These are the kinds of things that a person schemes out in his heart and mind. And according to that plan, he or she gives “cheerfully,” and not under duress. This is the kind of giving that God loves—and blesses. GGM What steps do you need to take to establish a giving plan? What would you like to be able to give? Daily Reading: Ezra 1:1-6:22, 1 Corinthians 1:18-3:23, Psalm 27:7-29:11 Proverbs 20:22-27
For Your Small Group
❏❏ For August 1–7: Ask each man to define the word “generosity.” •• Was generosity of money the first thing that came to mind? If so, why is that? •• Is it more difficult for you to be generous with finances, time or talents? Explain. •• Would you consider yourself a generous person? Why or why not?
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Monday—August 8 • Breaking the Rules
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So, because Jesus was doing these things on the Sabbath, the Jewish leaders began to persecute him. John 5:16 When Jesus healed the paralytic on the Sabbath, it violated the Jewish religious rules of the day. The leaders of the church rebuked Him for working on the Sabbath. In John 5:17 it says, “Jesus said to them, ‘My Father is always at work to this very day, and I too am working.” He angered the leader by using such intimate words as “My Father” in reference to God. Jesus upset the leaders by working miracles on the day of rest and by His words. Jesus did not come to earth to calm everyone and make people happy. He came with a radical message of love and grace. That message caused people to become so angry and
afraid that they eventually crucified Him. While Christians see the gospel message as full of hope and redemption, many people are threatened by it instead. It challenges the foundations on which they have built their life. It’s no wonder that many will react with hostility toward to the message of Christ’s love. MIMBS 1 Is the message of Jesus as upsetting today as it was during His earthly ministry? Why or why not? Ask some men to share their answer and their reasons why. Daily Reading: Ezra 7:1-8:20, 1 Corinthians 4:121, Psalm 30:1-12, Proverbs 20:28-30
Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. Matthew 10:34 Jesus ministered in a variety of ways that sometimes confused those around Him. At times, He explained His actions clearly in everyday language. At other times, He let people remain confused. He spoke in parables that made people ponder and think about His words. Sometimes He was aggressive and got right in people’s faces. Why the different styles? He truly loved each and everyone He met on earth and had one overarching goal: He was willing to say or do what was needed to deliver His message in exactly the right way at exactly the right time. Ministry can vary. Showing God’s love to others may not look the same every day.
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Tuesday—August 9 • Know the Basics Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path. Psalm 119:105 nlt
On a recent plane trip, I found myself sitting next to an executive. In our conversation, he shared that he had grown up in the church but that he abandoned his faith—or at least the faith of his parents. Here, 60 years later, he was still hostile and bitter about his church experience. He interrogated me about my religious beliefs. He would often ask, “How do you know?” Most of my answers were, “I read it in the Bible.” While he had rejected most religious beliefs, he had not actually read the Bible! He had rejected things he did not understand.
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So much of what people reject about the church or Christianity is not necessarily biblical truth. It may be the hurt that someone in the church has caused or the misdirection of a man-made rule or law. We need to know the Bible so we can answer questions with authority and grace. MIMBS 1 With some brothers, think of some misconceptions about Christianity. How would you answer those misconceptions from Scripture itself? Daily Reading: Ezra 8:21-9:15, 1 Corinthians 5:1-13, Psalm 31:1-8, Proverbs 21:1-2
Wednesday—August 10 • Jesus’ First Miracle
Today it may be helping your neighbor with a home-improvement project. Tomorrow, a heart-to-heart talk with a friend about their life in eternity. And the next day, a trip to Haiti. No matter what it looks like, the goal should be the same—sharing and showing the love of God to the world around you. MIMBS 1 Think of different times you have had the opportunity to show God’s love to others. How many different types of experiences have you had? What skill sets have you put to use? Daily Reading: Ezra 10:1-44, 1 Corinthians 6:120, Psalm 31:9-18, Proverbs 21:3
Thursday—August 11 • What Would Jesus Say and Do? For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost. Luke 19:10
No one likes to deal with a hostile person. Hostile people are intimidating. It’s easy to become afraid of them, to avoid them, or feel like we don’t know how to respond. Jesus had to engage with many who were hostile toward Him. We can learn from Jesus’ encounters with these people. Jesus saw all people—hostile or not—as sinners in need of the love of the Father. He knew who He was and Who had sent Him. He was secure in His identity. Jesus was also well informed. He knew the law very well and He used that knowledge to answer questions.
Through the Holy Spirit, we can have Jesus’ loving attitude, even to those who are hostile toward our faith. We can let the facts of our own testimony speak for itself. Tell your story, then let God use it to impact someone’s heart. Read the Bible and get to know it well so that you can share it with people and answer their questions about it. MIMBS 1 Are there people with whom you have been afraid to share the Gospel? Pray for the right attitude, the right time and the right words to talk to that person and show them God’s love. Daily Reading: Nehemiah 1:1-3:14, 1 Corinthians 7:1-24, Psalm 31:19-24, Proverbs 21:4
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Friday, Saturday, Sunday—August 12, 13, 14 • Why Bother?
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Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me. John 12:26
For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 nlt If Jesus knew His message would be rejected by so many, why did He bother to share it? Here are four reasons He chose to interact and minister to those people: Confirm. The people charged Jesus with claiming to be God and healing on the Sabbath. So Jesus confirmed that He was the Son of God. Today we can do the same for people. We can confirm the correct conclusions that people have come to about God and the Bible. Clarify. C.S. Lewis said that, “The absent are easily refuted.” Often, non-believers refute Christianity in the absence of believers with all kinds of assumptions about what it is and is not. It is important for Christians to “show up” to clarify what the Bible really says. Convert. Jesus came to seek and save sinners. He died for the sins of every person who ever asks Him for forgiveness. Therefore, He desires to have as many people as possible believe in Him. We share our faith for those Christ wants to draw to Himself. He uses us as a trigger or stimulus to help that happen.
Close. One of the reasons that Jesus bothered to push back was to silence those who were hostile and give them some things to ponder. If you let wicked people run rampant, they will; if you let good people run rampant, they will too. Jesus sacrificed His life because He loved us and wanted to save us from our sins. He was willing to talk to those that rejected Him. Are you willing to do the same? MIMBS 1 Share an opportunity you have had lately to Confirm, Clarify, Convert or Close with some brothers. Tell the story—good or bad—and encourage each other to be bold for the Gospel. Daily Reading: Nehemiah 3:15-9:21, 1 Corinthians 7:25-9:18, Psalm 32:1-33:22, Proverbs 21:5-12
For Your Small Group
❏❏ For August 8–14: Read the four “C” words in the devotional on this page. Ask the men in your group to give examples of how they’ve seen these actions used in the lives of unbelievers or hostile people. •• Do you have people in your life who have been hostile toward the church or the message of Jesus? •• How have you handled the hostility of those people? What impact has their hostility had on you? •• How can this week’s devotions help you minister to those people in a more loving, impactful way?
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Monday—August 15 • Just Follow Me
In a basketball game where Larry Bird was heavily guarded, the coach came up with a plan for another player to get the ball for the game’s final basket. Then Larry said, “Listen guys, why don’t you forget that and just give me the ball and then everybody get out of the way?” The coach said, “Larry, I’m the coach and I will call the plays.” Larry said, “Okay, coach.” And then the coach turned to the players and said, “Here is what we are going to do, give the ball to Larry and everybody just get out of the way!” On the court, Larry went to the player who was guarding him and said, “I am going to get the ball, dribble twice, step back behind the three-point line, then I am going
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to stick it and there is nothing you can do about it.” That is exactly what happened and they won the game. Larry Bird knew how to engage and how to lead. Jesus does the same for us. He says, “Give me the ball. Don’t try to make your own plan, just follow Me and I will have the final victory.” MIMBS 2 Do you trust God to “take the ball and win the game”? In what ways have you tried to make your own plan instead of following God’s plan? Daily Reading: Nehemiah 9:22-10:39, 1 Corinthians 9:19-10:13, Psalm 34:1-10, Proverbs 21:13
Tuesday—August 16 • The Letter of the Law If you had known what these words mean, “I desire mercy, not sacrifice,” you would not have condemned the innocent. Matthew 12:7
A ministry executive was traveling and saw a Christian recording artist sitting up in first-class, enjoying a glass of wine. After his trip, the leader proclaimed to others that this recording artist would never be welcome in one of their ministry events. He had decided that this artist did not follow his rules and was unworthy to minister. In the World English Dictionary, legalism is defined as, “strict adherence to the law, especially of the letter of the law rather than its spirit.” We see this all the time when people are zealous for God but they do not know the scriptures. They don’t understand the meaning of the
scriptures and they come up with rules and regulations on how you ought to behave. Their vocabulary becomes filled with many “shoulds” and “should nots.” Perhaps legalism has crept into your life. It can be subtle and even seem righteous. A great test is to ask yourself how you feel when you do well, and how you feel when you mess up. If we’re not careful, we can become modern-day Pharisees. MIMBS 2 Are there certain behaviors that you believe differentiate Christians from non-Chistians? Are those your rules or Biblical mandates? Daily Reading: Nehemiah 11:1-12:26, 1 Corinthians 10:14-33, Psalm 34:11-22, Proverbs 21:14-16
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Wednesday—August 17 • Watching Their Hearts
q Friday, Saturday, Sunday—August 19, 20, 21 • Watching the Heart
He said to them, “If any of you has a sheep and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will you not take hold of it and lift it out? How much more valuable is a person than a sheep! Therefore it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath.” Matthew 12:11, 12 Christ faced a religious world of law when He came to minister on earth. The laws of the Old Testament showed people their need for God and their inability to achieve righteousness on their own. The law was not established to make people good; it was designed to lead them to Jesus Christ. But the leaders of the day were not using the law as a guide but as a measuring stick for spirituality. With Jesus, came a new law—the law of grace. Grace has the same purpose of the Old Testament law—to show us our need for God.
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Our human nature prefers rules and regulation. We like to have milestones and measurements to compare ourselves to others or track our accomplishments or to control others. The law of grace does not allow for that. The only accomplishment that has bearing on our acceptability to God is what Jesus accomplished on the cross. MIMBS 2 What does the word “grace” mean to you? How have you experienced grace from God or His followers? Daily Reading: Nehemiah 12:27-13:31, 1 Corinthians 11:1-16, Psalm 35:1-16, Proverbs 21:17-18
Thursday—August 18 • The Laws of Love and Grace For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. Ephesians 5:25–26 nlt
I have a confession; in the first half of my marriage, I didn’t give my wife a voice. I understood, in the marriage relationship, that I was the head of the house, my wife was to respect me, and I was to love her. I made the decisions and did not consider her opinion. I had rules of conduct for our home that I made up. After a while, she just got tired of it. She began to detach and mourn the fact that she did not have a voice. This is just another form of legalism. It is not a grace-based relationship. Jesus does not want us to just follow the rules. He wants to love us and be loved by us.
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Husbands and wives don’t need lists of rules to follow. They need love, care, value and respect to have a growing, thriving relationship. My legalist ways hurt my wife and our marriage. I did not understand the needs of my wife and what defines the marriage relationship. Rebuilding that relationship required grace on both of our parts. MIMBS 2 How does a biblical definition of marriage reflect the love that God has for each of us? Daily Reading: Esther 1:1-3:15, 1 Corinthians 11:17-34, Psalm 35:17-28, Proverbs 21:19-20
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7 nlt When my son was in high school, his nickname was “The Mop”—a reference to his long, curly head of hair. One day, he decided to bleach the mop. It didn’t work right and instead of turning his hair blonde, it was bright orange—and he loved it! I wasn’t thrilled about the clown-like look. But Patsy and I decided that our children could do anything with their appearance, as long as it was not permanent. As a dad, I was embarrassed and I thought about what others would think of him and of me. But I was watching his heart, and I knew it was good and that he was walking with the Lord; so I kept my mouth shut about the orange mop of hair. I know how hard it is to raise children. There is the temptation to lay down the law, to focus on getting them to do the right things. Many men have been
parented or are parenting for performance. But the outcome of that kind of parenting is devastating. You can alienate your child over small, surface issues, or create a world where they can never live up to your expectations. If your father had this approach or if this has been your parenting style, you may need to deal with that. Do you need to forgive your dad for that kind of fathering? Do you need to show him love through the law of grace? Do you need to let your children know that you love them no matter how they behave or misbehave? Your children need to know that you are most concerned about the condition of their heart. MIMBS 2 Why is it more difficult to father by grace instead of rules and regulations? How can grace-based fathering show the love of God to your children? Daily Reading: Esther 4:1-10:3, Job 1:1-3:26, 1 Corinthians 12:1-14:17, Psalm 36:1-37:29, Proverbs 21:21-26
For Your Small Group
❏❏ For August 15–21: Read aloud these two definitions: Legalism—strict adherence to the law, especially to the letter rather than the spirit. Grace—freely given, unmerited favor and love. •• Take a moment and think about what it looks like to have a marriage or a parent-child relationship based on a model of legalism or a model of grace. •• Share your thoughts with one another in the group. •• Which of your relationships need to become more grace-filled? How could you see that happen?
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Monday—August 22 • The Turtle and the Scorpion Forgive my hidden faults. Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. Then I will be blameless, innocent of great transgression. Psalm 19:12b–13
In an ancient fable, a scorpion comes to the edge of a river. Knowing he cannot swim, he asks a turtle for a ride to the other side. The turtle says, “I can’t do that, because halfway across the river you will sting me, and I will drown.” The scorpion replies, “It wouldn’t be logical for me to do that, since I can’t swim either. Not only would you drown, but I would drown, too.” So the turtle agreed, and the scorpion climbed upon his shell. Halfway across the river, the scorpion administered a fatal sting to the turtle’s neck. As they were sinking, the turtle said, “You told me you wouldn’t sting me. Now we are both going to die.
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Why did you do it?” The scorpion replied, “I can’t help it; I’m a scorpion.” To some degree, all men have secret thoughts. We often think they are innocent, so we harbor them and let them grow. After all, they’re just thoughts and not actions. Isn’t that logical? But eventually secret thoughts sting, because it’s just who they are. Belief inevitably determines behavior. MIMBS 7 How can a hidden thought hurt you? Have you witnessed that hurt in someone’s life? Daily Reading: Job 4:1-7:21, 1 Corinthians 14:18-40, Psalm 37:30-40, Proverbs 21:27
Tuesday—August 23 • Secret Thoughts? You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. Psalm 139:1–2
If you wrestle with an inner life that would embarrass you if it were exposed to the world, you need to understand there really aren’t any secret thoughts. You may think they’re hidden, but the Bible clearly tells us that God knows our thoughts. That’s intimidating enough, but often the people around us know, too. A friend told me about taking his wife to lunch one day. She paused somewhere in the meal and said, “You know, Honey, I’ve noticed that you have not been looking at other women lately. I wanted you to know I appreciate it very much.” He was stunned. He had been completely convinced that
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what went on his mind was not obvious. He learned something important that day. Even if your wife or girlfriend doesn’t say anything, don’t assume she doesn’t know what’s going on in your mind. Whether we like it or not, there really are no secret thoughts. We can be sure God knows about them, and probably a lot of other people do, too. MIMBS 7 Consider the possibility that God may not be the only one who knows something you thought was your own little secret. How does that make you feel? Daily Reading: Job 8:1-11:20, 1 Corinthians 15:1-28, Psalm 38:1-22, Proverbs 21:28-29
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Wednesday—August 24 • You’re Not Alone No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. 1 Corinthians 10:13
Before I became a Christian, I struggled with a host of wild ambitions. I wanted to be a tycoon. To be perfectly honest, I fantasized about personal power and sexual conquest. After I became a Christian, the Holy Spirit started changing my nature, and I was starting to get some control over that unrestrained thought life. I remember being at lunch with two other men, when a very sensuous woman walked by the restaurant window. I watched my two friends mentally undress this woman. I knew exactly what they were doing. I, on the other hand, did not watch her. Instead, I pretended I was preoccupied with my lunch, and I undressed her secretly in my own private thoughts.
I realized that day there was no real difference between those men and myself. In some ways, being a Christian can add to a man’s burden because he feels pressure to pretend he’s something he’s not. All men, Christian and non-Christian, struggle with secret thoughts. The key to victory is understanding the battle in our minds, and knowing what to do with those thoughts. MIMBS 7 This devotional says, “All men, Christian and non-Christian, struggle with secret thoughts. The key to victory is understanding the battle in our minds, and knowing what to do with those thoughts.” What does that mean to you? Daily Reading: Job 12:1-15:35, 1 Corinthians 15:29-58, Psalm 39:1-13, Proverbs 21:30-31
q Thursday—August 25 • When You Encounter, Don’t Entertain As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. . . . Now, if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. Romans 7:17–18, 20 In today’s passage, Paul describes the struggle that happens inside a Christian’s mind. Our relationship with God births within us a desire to do the right thing. But in our minds, we battle the sinful nature we inherited simply by being human. The Bible indicates that every normal Christian will experience this battle for control of his mind. And frankly, all Christian men probably fight similar secret thoughts. I sincerely doubt you can confess anything to me that I have not thought as well. We all have to deal with that sinful nature. But for Christians, those secret thoughts are not part of the new nature we receive from God. Instead, they are like a man sitting at
the table next to us. You’re not responsible for that man’s dirty mouth. But if you keep sitting at the same table so you can listen in on his conversation, then you are flirting with something that can lead you astray. Secret thoughts are part of life. You’re going to encounter them, but you don’t have to entertain them. MIMBS 7 When you’ve encountered secret thoughts, how have you been tempted to entertain them? Have you entertained them to the point that you’ve gotten comfortable with them? Explain your answer. Daily Reading: Job 16:1-19:29, 1 Corinthians 16:1-24, Psalm 40:1-10, Proverbs 22:1
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Friday, Saturday, Sunday—August 26, 27, 28 The “We” of Christianity
For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:3–5 A Christian who wants to gain victory over secret thoughts must take advantage of God-given resources. The Bible says, “Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires” (Romans 8:5). Our primary resource is the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, living within every Christian. We also have the Bible and prayer, and we have each other. We have accountability. Notice that today’s Scripture passage is all about “we” and not “I.” Several years ago I heard about four men attending the same church. Over the course of a year, all four were unfaithful to their wives through adultery, strip joints, prostitutes, and Internet porn. These men all got caught up in secret thought lives. Two were able to restore their marriages, and two endured very harsh divorces. What made
the difference? Accountability. The two men who destroyed their marriages and set their families on a course of dysfunction were men who lived on the church’s fringe. They were too busy to get “plugged in.” They invested the minimum of time in the “we” of Christianity. The other two men met regularly with small groups. When they said they were getting divorced, the “we” said, “No you’re not.” One of these men struggled with Internet porn, and his small group confiscated his computer. The two men who survived these crises did so because, though they felt the sting of the secret thought life, they had a “we” to help them take their thoughts captive. MIMBS 7 Who helps you to take your thoughts captive, and how do they help? Daily Reading: Job 20:1-30:31, 2 Corinthians 1:1-2:17, Psalm 40:11-42:11, Proverbs 22:2-7
For Your Small Group
❏❏ For August 22–28: Ask each man to write down the name of a man whose secret thought life became public and destroyed him. •• Why was that incident so surprising? How many people did that incident affect? •• Why do these stories become so news-worthy and fascinating to the general public? •• Could that man have done something that could have stopped that incident from happening? How could other men have helped? What does this mean to you?
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Monday —August 29 • Don’t Underestimate Your Enemy Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8
I heard about a woman working for Wycliffe Bible Translators in a small village along the Amazon River. The villagers called a meeting, and since she was an “outsider,” she could not attend. She went alone to the water to do her devotions. She let herself out from shore in a boat and was reading her Bible, unaware that an anaconda was circling her. It attacked her and wrapped around her. She assumed she was about to die, so she began to pray, asking the Lord to receive her into heaven. Suddenly the anaconda uncoiled itself and slipped back into the water. About this time, some villagers rushed to help her. Back in the village, the witchdoctor was
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throwing a fit. He told the people he had put a spell on the Christian woman, so that an anaconda would kill her. Because it didn’t happen, he was defeated. He left and did not return. In our culture, we don’t often see battles that are this obvious, but the warfare is just as real. We should not fear our enemy, but we must not underestimate him either. MIMBS 8 Have you ever seen a situation of obvious spiritual warfare? Share your experience with another man. Daily Reading: Job 31:1-33:33, 2 Corinthians 3:1-18, Psalm 43:1-5, Proverbs 22:8-9
Tuesday—August 30 • Deceit Is Dangerous The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9
We all live in a tension between the flesh and the spirit. We have the sinful nature inherited through Adam (flesh), but we also have been created in God’s image; and for those of us who accept Jesus’ Lordship in our lives, His image is being restored in us. Nevertheless, Jeremiah reminds us that our hearts have great potential to deceive us, pushing us toward gratifying the flesh rather than following God’s plan. Frankly, the heart is most deceitful when it wraps its temptations in piety. The more religious you pretend to be, the more self-deceived you will be. It’s far better to admit to being a sinner than to make a pretense of being a pious man.
Most men are deceived into thinking they are lions—tough and strong—when in reality, Jesus compared us to sheep. Satan is the lion, and we are his intended prey. When we lose sight of that reality, we are in grave danger. As one guest speaker told my morning Bible study group, “We are just one step away from stupid.” MIMBS 8 What scenario makes you most susceptible to spiritual deceit? Daily Reading: Job 34:1-36:33, 2 Corinthians 4:1-12, Psalm 44:1-8, Proverbs 22:10-12
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Wednesday—August 31 • Stay with the Flock
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Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:1–2 We’ve established that while men might see themselves as lions, Jesus said we are sheep. Satan is the lion, and he is looking for prey. One way for a sheep to stay safe from a lion is to stay with the flock. There is safety in numbers. Being accountable to other believers is a safeguard against being devoured by Satan. Accountability requires us to be regularly answerable to qualified people for each key aspect of our lives. Principally, this isn’t just about behavior. We are not trying to win favor with our accountability partners or with God by behaving well. Accountability is about what we believe. True accountability means we help each other stay in communion with Jesus. Then, because we are in relationship
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with the Son of God, we do behave with integrity, because He is changing us from the inside and because the Holy Spirit helps us. But the relationship between Christian brothers must be anchored in humility, for as we are reminded in today’s passage, we’re all sheep. No one is exempt from temptation. MIMBS 8 Name the Christian men whom you trust to hold you accountable. If you don’t have that kind of a relationship with your Christian brothers, name someone whom you could ask to hold you accountable. Daily Reading: Job 37:1-39:30, 2 Corinthians 4:13-5:10, Psalm 44:9-26, Proverbs 22:13
Friday, Saturday, Sunday—September 2, 3, 4 • Satan’s Trap And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome . . . Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil. 2 Timothy 2:24–26
The story is told about one way that Eskimos hunt a wolf. They take a razorsharp knife and coat it with blood. The blood freezes, and then they dip the knife again and again, adding layer after layer of blood. Then they plunge the hilt of the knife into ground. At night, when the wolves are out prowling, one will catch the scent of the blood-covered knife, and then begin licking the blade. The taste puts the wolf into such a frenzy that it doesn’t notice when the knife starts slicing its tongue. It won’t even know it’s lapping up its own blood. Eventually it will collapse and die. In the spiritual realm, you and I are hunted similarly by a cruel predator. Today’s Scripture
Thursday—September 1 • Below the Water Line
Read James 1:14–15, and then explain how Satan baits a trap to catch and hold captive Christian men. In that context, how can accountability help a Christian man remain free (or get free) from the devil’s trap?
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 You probably know that only about 10 percent of an iceberg is visible above the water line. Our lives are similar. There’s a small portion that we allow people to see, like when we talk about news and sports and weather. But most of life is hidden from other people’s eyes. We have to intentionally give trusted people access into the areas where we set our priorities and make lifealtering decisions. Accountability should touch on several key areas—spiritual issues, home life, work, etc. Man in the Mirror resources can target specific areas where men generally need accountability. The Bible repeatedly explains that we can increase our chances for success by helping each other. We all need help sometimes
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from qualified people. That doesn’t mean we look for “experts.” Accountability partners aren’t spiritual bosses. They are fellow pilgrims. I’d suggest you shouldn’t have too many true accountability partners, because that becomes unwieldy. But generally, I think it’s good to have more than one. It’s harder for three or four men to get deceived all at the same time in regards to a key issue in someone’s life. MIMBS 8 List five areas of your life that are not clearly visible to people who don’t know you well. How does (or would) it protect you to be accountable to someone in those areas? Daily Reading: Job 40:1-42:17, 2 Corinthians 5:11-21, Psalm 45:1-17, Proverbs 22:14
identifies our enemy as the devil. He seeks to trap us and hold us captive. The apostle Paul reminded his young friend Timothy that gentle instruction has potential to awaken a man to the danger around him. This alerts him and gives opportunity for the man to escape from Satan’s trap, before it is too late. It’s important for Christian men to study Scripture and learn together, but it’s also important that we fight for one another. We must contend together, in cooperation with the Holy Spirit, against our common enemy. Accountability is an important weapon in that battle. We must choose to be in relationship with some mature Christian brothers who will help us align our lives with the truth of God’s Word. MIMBS 8
Daily Reading: Ecclesiastes 1:19:18, 2 Corinthians 6:1-7:16, Psalm 46:1-48:14, Proverbs 22:15-19
For Your Small Group
❏❏ For August 29–September 4: Read aloud I Peter 5:8, “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour,” (NLT). •• What does it mean to “stay alert”? •• Is spiritual warfare something that you often think about? Why or why not? •• Do you believe that Satan is on the “prowl”? What does that look like?
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Monday—September 5 • We Need Help
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Jesus told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared. Matthew 13:24-26 In this life, bad and good often grow sideby-side, and sometimes it takes tremendous discernment to distinguish between the two. In that environment, how can anyone hope to live successfully? Eric Clapton enjoyed enormous musical success at a young age. But alongside the good, grew the bad; he became addicted to drugs and, later, alcohol. According to his autobiography, his manager kept telling the musician he needed help, but he didn’t respond. Clapton also enjoyed fishing. One day, at the age of 36, he went down to the water in a drunken stupor. Before he could start fishing, he fell on his rod and broke it. He looked around and saw that the fishermen
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standing nearby were clearly embarrassed for him. Clapton noted, “ . . . the last vestige of my self-respect had been ripped away. In my mind, being a good fisherman was the one place where I still had selfesteem. I packed everything up . . . and drove home . . . ” This incident was a new beginning for Clapton, as it led him to finally seek help. In order to have victory, that’s the starting point for all of us. We can only change when we admit that the bad stuff really is there, and that we can’t do it on our own. MIMBS 9 Describe a time when you came to terms with something you could not change on your own. Daily Reading: Ecclesiastes 10:1-12:14, 2 Corinthians 8:1-15, Psalm 49:1-20, Proverbs 22:20-21
Tuesday—September 6 • What is Change? And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:18
The dictionary would define change as making something different from what it is. For the believer, change is spiritual transformation. It’s aiming to grow closer to who Jesus is from who we are. The key to spiritual transformation is to realize it does not come through our own conviction or strength or power. It doesn’t depend on man’s desire or effort. The Bible reminds us true life-change only comes through God, who works in us “to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose” (Philippians 2:13). In other words, God changes us from the inside-out. Jesus invites each of us to come to Him on a daily basis to negotiate the terms of our
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full surrender. That’s the first step of true change. The world order around us is based on the idea that we should never submit or yield to another. Stay in charge of your own destiny. We think of surrender primarily in terms of defeat. That’s the irony of God’s Kingdom, though—true surrender actually leads to victory. MIMBS 9 How have you seen your life change because of your relationship with Jesus? Ask some men who know you to share what they have seen in your life. Daily Reading: Song of Solomon 1:1-4:16, 2 Corinthians 8:16-24, Psalm 50:1-23, Proverbs 22:22-23
We know that we have come to know him if we keep his commands. Whoever says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did. 1 John 2:3–6 I remember a man who used to come to our morning Bible study on Fridays and then spend the weekend at the topless bars. His table leader wanted to get the group together and confront him about his behavior. Because we aren’t a church, I encouraged him instead to focus on truly showing this man Christ, rather than “fixing” his behavior. Frankly, three years went by without a lot of change; then, his daughter was killed tragically. Devastated, he came to the end of himself and surrendered his life to Jesus Christ. His son, a Marine, soon followed. This man and his son were changed forever—not just their behavior, but their hearts, and as a
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result, every aspect of their lives. Real transformation is not about fixing behavior; that’s the symptom, not the sickness. It’s about surrendering and allowing Jesus to make His love complete in us. We’re called to bring the sick to the physician, not treat the symptoms. Out of authentic love comes obedience, not the other way around. MIMBS 9 Think of someone you know who is overflowing with God’s authentic love. What characteristics led you to see that person that way? Daily Reading: Song of Solomon 5:1-8:14, 2 Corinthians 9:1-15, Psalm 51:1-19, Proverbs 22:24-25
Thursday—September 8 • Attitudes that Alter Actions But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth. Acts 1:8
This verse says the Holy Spirit dwells within a believer, empowering him to become Jesus’ witness. We become His evidence. The changes He makes in us prove His identity as God. The apostle Paul reminds us that, when the Holy Spirit indwells a believer, the fruit of that union is “love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Galatians 5:22–23). The fruit—those attitudes—is a reflection of the inner change that is powerful enough to alter our outward behavior. No force is more powerful than the Holy Spirit. Napoleon once said, “Alexander, Caesar, Charlemagne and myself founded empires; but on what foundation did we rest the creatures of our genius? Upon force. But
Jesus Christ founded an empire upon love; and at this hour millions of men would die for Him.” Napoleon marveled that the ambitious dreams of conquerors like him had vanished into thin air over time. But a Judean peasant named Jesus stretched His hands across the centuries to control the destinies of men and nations. It’s impossible to do life with Jesus and not be radically transformed by His Spirit. MIMBS 9 Choose one characteristic of the fruit of the Spirit listed above. How is that characteristic revealed (or not revealed) through your habits and actions? Daily Reading: Isaiah 1:1-2:22, 2 Corinthians 10:1-18, Psalm 52:1-9, Proverbs 22:26-27
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Friday, Saturday, Sunday—September 9, 10, 11 Jesus is Our Sculptor You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22–24
An elementary school art class went on a field trip to visit a great sculptor. They were chatting as they left the bus and approached the studio. As soon as they walked through the doors, however, they fell silent. They stood in the presence of a remarkable sculpture— a ferocious lion. It was so real and so fierce that the children shrank back in fear. Finally, one child inched toward the artist and asked, “Hey, mister, how did you make such a real looking lion?” He put his hand on the boy’s shoulder and replied kindly, “That was easy, son. I took a large block of marble, and I chipped away everything that didn’t look like the lion.” That familiar story points out a deep truth: God created us all in His image, and that likeness still exists in every person, just like the lion existed, unrecognized, inside the block of marble. But sin has entered our world so that, for the unredeemed
person, corruption, deceit, and selfish desires cover God’s image. Jesus is like the artist in this story. When we surrender to Him, allowing His grace to invade our lives, He has opportunity to chip away everything that doesn’t look like Him. We’re not the sculptor; He is. We don’t need to try harder to look like a lion. Today’s verse reminds us that we simply bring ourselves into His presence, so He can make us new in the attitude of our minds. The result will be a new self, “created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” That is the essence of surrender and the process of sanctification. This is how lives truly change. MIMBS 9 What is Jesus chipping away in your life to reveal more and more of Himself? Are you surrendering yourself fully to Him? Daily Reading: Isaiah 3:1-9:21, 2 Corinthians 11:1-12:10, Psalm 53:1- 55:23, Proverbs 22:2823:5
For Your Small Group
❏❏ For September 5–11: Read the story of the sculptor in the art class on this page. •• The sculptor knew what a lion looked like. Is there comfort in knowing that God defines true manhood? Why or why not? •• What does it mean to you that Christ is your Sculptor or Potter? Does that artistic process sound painful, fun, exciting, scary or ___________? •• What changes has God made recently in your life, and how?
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Monday—September 12 • Morals at Home These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Deuteronomy 6:6–7a
In 1990, a couple of Cornell professors shocked the philanthropic world when they announced research showing that, in the upcoming four decades, 10.4 trillion dollars of wealth would be passed from generation to generation. Then, in 1999, a couple of Boston College researchers projected that, over a 50-year period, that transfer actually could equal 41 trillion dollars! That’s the largest intergenerational exchange of wealth in U.S. history. However, amidst all of the intergenerational exchange of money, moral indicators point to a profound poverty in our intergenerational exchange of ethics. More than any previous generation, today’s youth are exposed to sexual temptations, school violence, alcohol and illegal drugs. The concepts of right and wrong have become
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vague and relative. Scripture gives a mandate to fathers to pass the Lord’s instruction on to their children. It compels men of faith to align their actions and thoughts with Scripture, and then pass that lifestyle on to future generations. Our homes should be refuges for our children and righteousness should abound. The desire to pass on wealth is not wrong. But we cannot afford to be more concerned with money than we are with morals. Or the next generation will pay the price. MIMBS 10 How are you choosing to align your actions and thoughts with Scripture? How is that choice affecting your family and others? Daily Reading: Isaiah 10:1-11:16, 2 Corinthians 12:11-21, Psalm 56:1-13, Proverbs 23:6-8
Tuesday—September 13 • Dinner Conversation My son, pay attention to my wisdom, turn your ear to my words of insight. Proverbs 5:1
The Bible repeatedly instructs us to be intentional about an intergenerational transfer of godly principles. In our culture, sociologists frequently point to moral education as a side effect of families eating meals together. Yet, statistics indicate that only about half of American families eat dinner together at least four nights per week. About half of those families eat in front of the TV, missing the opportunity to engage in meaningful relational time. It’s critical that we make spending this time together a priority. Not only does it keep us connected to one another, but it demonstrates to our children that family is important. When you do come together, be cautious about your conversation. Today’s fathers should bid their sons to “pay attention to wisdom.” He intentionally chooses
topics that bring knowledge and insight. When my kids were growing up, we tried to mold the schedule around our dinner plans. During the times when the pace of life was faster and we couldn’t manage that as easily, we changed our mealtime to accommodate our schedule. In either situation, our goal was the same—to preserve this time together. The key is to make family time one of your highest priorities. MIMBS 10 How long has it been since your family ate a meal together? What was the topic of conversation? Daily Reading: Isaiah 12:1-14:32, 2 Corinthians 13:1-14, Psalm 57:1-11, Proverbs 23:9-11
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Wednesday—September 14 • Moral Development
q Friday, Saturday, Sunday—September 16, 17, 18 • Willing to Pay
Start children off on the way they should go, and when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6 Moral instruction is much easier than moral development. Moral instruction is providing information—it requires you to teach the difference between right and wrong. Moral development, however, is providing training. It’s not enough to simply teach what is right. We are called to train our children to establish their moral identity—to enable them to set their own boundaries and make their own decisions, so they can reach their full potential as adults. Children will test the moral boundaries of lying, stealing and cheating. Your little one may come home from the store with a stolen piece of candy in his pocket. A sister may blame her brother for the broken vase or the crayon writing on the wall. Your middle-schooler may
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get caught cheating on his test at school. These are important opportunities to teach them and allow them to experience the consequences of their behavior. Moral instruction can be systematic, but moral development often happens as we respond to specific situations. Be intentional as you choose your responses and advice; your children are in training. MIMBS 10 What is a moral lesson you’ve had to learn as an adult that, if you had learned it as a child, it would have made your life much easier. Discuss this with some brothers, and talk about how to pass those lessons on to your kids. Daily Reading: Isaiah 15:1-18:7, Galatians 1:1-24, Psalm 58:1-11, Proverbs 23:12
Thursday—September 15 • Stupidity vs. Foolishness A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to the mother who bore him. Proverbs 17:25
The Bible talks a lot about foolishness, or folly. When you consider moral development, distinguish between stupidity and foolishness. If I ran out of gas on the interstate because I forgot to fill up my tank, that would be a result of momentary stupidity. It’s not the result of a poor moral decision, but just something that escaped my attention. However, if I’m running late and, after stopping for gas, I run two or three red lights, I’ve been foolish. Foolishness is a deliberate choice to flaunt authority. True moral development does not spring from a desire to control or manipulate children so we can appear to be successful parents. The overarching goal is to raise
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children who recognize right and wrong on their own, and who are strong enough to choose what is right, regardless of the circumstances. Love them through the moments of stupidity, instill in them a sense of confidence and worth, and liberate them from the tyranny of foolishness. MIMBS 10 What type of situation would tempt you to do something foolish? How would you prepare your children to do the right thing in a similar situation? Daily Reading: Isaiah 19:1-21:17, Galatians 2:116, Psalm 59:1-17, Proverbs 23:13-14
Things we have heard and known, things our ancestors have told us. We will not hide them from their descendants; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done. Psalm 78:3–4 True moral training requires fathers to pass on the proper motivation to their children. It’s easy for kids to focus on making their parents happy or avoiding punishment instead of behaving out of conviction or purpose. True moral development is motivated by a desire to express trust in, and praise to, God. Moral training carries a huge, inescapable price tag. You will pay either now or later. The price of success—the time investment of deliberate effort—must be paid now, and S it’s costly. But S E C C OF SU THE PRICE tremendous rewards come later. The price of failure—the lack of effort and time— may be put off until later, but when the note comes due, the cost THE PRICE OF in sorrow FAILUR
and consequences is unspeakable. Even if your father was not willing to pay the price for your moral development and success, fortunately, another Father was willing to pay the full note to buy you back, if you will receive it. He gave His son for you, so you could be adopted into His family. If you’re a dad, please don’t give up. This process has ups and downs. But if you continue to pay the price of success, you’ll reap a great reward later. While it’s true that a father can do all the right things and still have a kid who just doesn’t “get it,” it’s also true that good kids don’t turn out that way by accident. Someone pays the price to make it happen. Will you? Daily and deliberately train your children to honor God with their decisions. MIMBS 10 From your own experience, either as a son or a as a father, respond to this statement: “You will pay either now or later.” Daily Reading: Isaiah 22:1-30:11, Galatians 2:17-4:31, Psalm 60:1-62:12, Proverbs 23:1521
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For Your Small Group
❏❏ For September 12–18: List some things you learned about moral integrity as a child. •• How did you learn those lessons? From whom did you learn those lessons? •• Is there one person in your life or community that stands out to you because of their moral integrity? Why? •• What lessons of moral integrity do you hope your children or grandchildren will learn from you?
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Monday—September 19 • Debt Free
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If the old way, which brings condemnation, was glorious, how much more glorious is the new way, which makes us right with God! 2 Corinthians 3:9 nlt After lunch with a friend, I asked him if he’d mind stopping by a cigar shop. “There’s no need,” he said. “A friend gave me a box of cigars and I’d like to pass them on to you.” At his office, he handed me a box of Havana Cohibas. “Thanks,” I said, “but I thought those things were illegal.” He assured me they were not so I graciously accepted the gift—only to find out online that the cigars actually were illegal. I returned the gift. Four days later, a thought went through my mind: That was really a righteous thing I did by not smoking those cigars. Surely God will bless me. In actuality, this was a total lie! That thought is “works righteousness,” the false idea that we can be righteous by our actions. Thankfully, our good works or bad deeds aren’t kept on a balance sheet to determine our standing with God! We can’t earn
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the blessings of God and we don’t debit an account when we sin. God loves us unconditionally because our debt is fully paid by the blood of Jesus Christ. MIMBS 11 Have you considered how gracious it is of God that our good deeds and bad deeds do not accrue or debit a spiritual account? What does that mean to you today? Share your thoughts with some other men. Daily Reading: Isaiah 30:12-33:9, Galatians 5:112, Psalm 63:1-11, Proverbs 23:22
Tuesday—September 20 • What’s the Point? What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? James 2:14 nlt
I strive to do the right things. I love my wife and family. I don’t cheat on my taxes or shoplift merchandise. If I’m given too much change at checkout, I give it back. I try to treat my colleagues and employees fairly. I desire to help the poor and needy. I do these things because I have a core set of values. Many men struggle to understand the point of life—and what role they’re supposed to play in it. It often seems futile and mundane. They sense that there is more to life than waking up, eating, working, coming home, playing with the kids, having dinner, watching TV, and going to bed, but they can’t seem to grasp it. We’re all
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wired to want our lives to count and make a difference. Core values can guide us and give us a purpose that counts for eternity. Although these core values don’t make us better than anyone else, they hopefully show others the impact of having God as the center of our lives. That is the overall purpose of life— to show others God and bring Him glory. MIMBS 11 Do those around you experience your faith through your actions towards them? How could you improve in this area? Daily Reading: Isaiah 33:10-36:22, Galatians 5:13-26, Psalm 64:1-10, Proverbs 23:23
Wednesday—September 21 • His Purpose for Us Joyful are those who listen to me, watching for me daily at my gates, waiting for me outside my home! For whoever finds me finds life and receives favor from the Lord. Proverbs 8:34, 35 nlt
In the movie Chariots of Fire, Eric Liddell (a gold medal winner) said, “I know that God has made me for a purpose. He made me fast, and when I run, I feel His pleasure.” In another scene in the movie, Harold Abrahams, who also won a gold medal, said to his trainer, “You know, I’ve never known contentment. I’m always striving, and I don’t even know what it is I am looking for.” He didn’t know his purpose. They both had similar abilities, but Liddell was not defined by his running.
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Rather, he found his purpose in how God could use running in his life and the lives of others. Apart from God, life has no meaning. The greatest of athletes or the richest of businessmen cannot find lasting contentment or purpose in their accomplishments or wealth. We only know who we are by knowing God and embracing His purpose for our lives. Once you know Him and His purpose, life takes on a higher calling. Life becomes bigger and more meaningful when we realize the magnitude of what He wants to do through us. MIMBS 11 Have you ever felt God’s pleasure? What was that experience like for you? Daily Reading: Isaiah 37:1-38:22, Galatians 6:118, Psalm 65:1-13, Proverbs 23:24
Thursday—September 22 • Pursuit of Happiness Make me walk along the path of your commands, for that is where my happiness is found. Psalm 119:35 nlt
What do you desire most for your children? A common response is “Happiness.” At first glance, that may seem simple or shallow. But true happiness is a wonderful gift from God. In fact, He is the only source of true happiness. God created us to find joy and happiness in serving Him and giving Him glory. Do you think missionaries and pastors are doing the most significant work for God’s kingdom? Although those are wonderful callings, we each have gifts and abilities given to us by God to be used for His purpose. What do a plumber, mechanic, singer, teacher and engineer all have in common? They each have God-given gifts that are designed to glorify Him and further His kingdom.
Our gifts are to be used outside of our vocation as well—as a father, husband, son, neighbor or friend. We are most useful, most alive and most happy when we are doing what God created us to do. Like any parent, our heavenly Father desires true happiness for all of His children. Find that happiness in Him. MIMBS 11 What are the roles you play in your life; for instance, your job, a parent, husband, etc.? Think of something that makes you happy in each of those roles, and take a few minutes to thank God for those opportunities. Daily Reading: Isaiah 39:1-41:16, Ephesians 1:1-23, Psalm 66:1-20, Proverbs 23:25-28
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q Friday, Saturday, Sunday—September 23, 24, 25 • Bring Him Glory
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bring Me glory through the way that you respond to this during the day when you’re talking to people. As God gave me insight into the bigger picture of this experience, I was liberated. We can handle almost anything if we believe there is a greater purpose for it. My dream of racing cars was much less significant than the true goal of life—bringing glory to God. We all forget what’s important at times, whether it’s a big thing or a little thing. I exist and you exist to bring glory to God in whatever we do. Perhaps the most important time to maintain this perspective is when you spin off the track. MIMBS 11 Think about how you’ve reacted to specific circumstances in your life recently. Did you bring glory to God? If so, share with your small group how God used those moments. Daily Reading: Isaiah 41:17-48:11, Ephesians 2:1-4:16, Psalm 67:1-69:35, Proverbs 23:2924:4
For Your Small Group
❏❏ For September 19-25: Read aloud Proverbs 8:34, 35 from several versions or translations such as the new living translation or new international version. •• Does your work and your life give you pleasure? In what ways? •• What do you think it means to glorify God in your daily life? Are you doing that regularly? •• What service for God have you done that brought the most joy?
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• A Greater Goal
Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. Philippians 2:2 nlt
For in him we live and move and exist. As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’ Acts 17:28 nlt A few years ago, I took up car racing. I spent more than a year getting ready to race cars until, finally, I thought I was ready for the first race of the season. Leading up to the main race are smaller races, called heats. In one of those heats, I tried to avoid two cars that were slipping and sliding. In doing so, I spun off the track and into the grass. I was a novice of the sport and quickly pulled back onto the race track— into the path of another car. My race was over. Disappointed, I only hoped that I could continue racing over the weekend. Thoughts swirled in my mind: Was I supposed to be racing? Why would this happen in my first race? Was I just a bad driver? During my morning devotions the next day, I asked God these questions. A very clear thought came to me: This is not about you. Things like this happen. Now I want you to
Monday—September 26
Three bricklayers on the same job, were asked, “What are you doing?” The first one said, “I’m laying some bricks.” The second one answered, “I’m making a living to provide for my family.” The third one replied, “I’m building a great cathedral.” Three men doing the same job, yet their perspective varied greatly. We would imagine their attitudes did as well. If you’re just “laying bricks,” you’re just accomplishing a task with no thought about the end result. On the other hand, if you’re building a cathedral, you know the beauty of your work and your attention
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to detail will be seen by all and bring glory to God. When you get up in the morning, what is your attitude toward your day? Toward your work? Do you just hope to get through it or are you excited about the possibilities? Do you look forward to what God has in store for you? As you face each day this week, ask God to prepare your heart and mind for His purposes. MIMBS 11 Have you struggled with your attitude toward work? Spend a few minutes in prayer asking God to search your heart and show you new ways to view your work. Daily Reading: Isaiah 48:1250:11, Ephesians 4:17-32, Psalm 69:1-18, Proverbs 24:5-6
Tuesday—September 27 • Hearts on Fire
But the Lord stands beside me like a great warrior. Before him my persecutors will stumble. They cannot defeat me. They will fail and be thoroughly humiliated. Their dishonor will never be forgotten. Jeremiah 20:11 nlt Like many prophets, Jeremiah made a lot of people angry. He often talked about calling down fire and brimstone and wiping out sinners. This upset the religious leaders and eventually they had him beaten and imprisoned. When he was released, Jeremiah proclaimed his frustration. “When I speak, the words burst out. ‘Violence and destruction!’ I shout. So these messages from the Lord have made me a household joke. But if I say I’ll never mention the Lord or speak in his name, his word burns in my heart like a fire. It’s like a fire in my bones! I am worn out trying to hold it in!” (Jeremiah 20:8–9, nlt).
Jeremiah was tasked with delivering a very difficult message. From his words, we learn that Jeremiah wasn’t thrilled with his task, but he knew he could not stop speaking God’s words. He described them as fire in his heart. Jeremiah loved the Lord with his whole heart and had to speak God’s truth. When God changes our heart with His love, we cannot help but share that change with others. MIMBS 11 Does the reaction of others around temper your passion at times? Pray that God would give you boldness and set your heart on fire. Daily Reading: Isaiah 51:1-53:12, Ephesians 5:1-33, Psalm 69:19-36, Proverbs 24:7
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Wednesday—September 28 • First Responders So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. John 13:34 nlt
A friend of mine grew up in a big family during the Great Depression and times were hard. Each evening as they sat down for a simple dinner, his mother would always serve up one extra plate of food. They all knew why she did that. Ever since they were young, she’d told them, “If there is enough food for all of us, there is enough for someone who may need it more than we do.” Her reputation was well-known in their small town and, almost every night, some needy person ate that extra meal. What a great lesson! Our natural
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inclination is to focus on our own needs and desires. Have you ever noticed that selfishness seems to be our default mode? It’s easy to get caught up in just caring for ourselves or for our family. We can forget Jesus’ new commandment to love another as He loved us. He wants us to stand out and be recognized as His followers by the way we show love to others. When others have a need, we Christians should be the first responders. MIMBS 11 Is your default mode self- or other-centered? Think of some recent situations where you realized that you could have done a better job of loving others and share this with some brothers. Daily Reading: Isaiah 54:1-57:14, Ephesians 6:1-24, Psalm 70:1-5, Proverbs 24:8
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Matthew 28:19
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Friday—September 30 • Better is One Day Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Matthew 6:33 nlt
My son had a business issue that we talked about over a number of days. We discussed the many possibilities and solutions that could come out of it. After each of these discussions, I would hang up the phone and pray, “God, Your will be done, and please forget everything else we’ve ever said.” We both truly wanted His will in the situation. We are here on earth to do His will. We exist to bring Him glory, no matter our changing circumstances. Jesus instructed us about the important things—to love God, love others, and make disciples—but it may seem difficult to discern His will in some situations. Remember: He gave us His Word for direction, and prayer for communication. The scriptures and prayer are the tools
we’ve been given to know Him and do His will, and His Holy Spirit is our Counselor. The Psalmist reminds us that being with Him and in His will is better than anything else. “Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked” (Psalm 84:10). MIMBS 11 Are you seeking “the Kingdom of God above all else”? What does that “seeking” look like? Share your ideas with some other men. Daily Reading: Isaiah 60:1-62:5, Philippians 1:27-2:18, Psalm 72:1-20, Proverbs 24:11-12
Why You Should Kill the Term “Men’s Ministry” continued from page 9
Thursday—September 29 • The Discipleship Lifestyle
Jesus knew that discipleship would be vital to spreading the Good News to the world, so He modeled it. He called men to leave their occupations and follow Him. He lived with them, prayed with them, taught them, challenged them and sent them out. He shared His life with these men. The disciples did not sit in a classroom and study. Most of what they learned from Jesus was by being with Him. We might call it “experiential learning.” They experienced life with Jesus—being among people, learning to care for them, challenging the biases of the times and the religious rules, and showing the Father’s love to them. A shared life is so much more of a
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commitment than preaching or teaching. It requires time, energy and sacrifice. Discipleship takes place in the context of relationships—being among people—and is a lifestyle for believers. It is hard to fathom the impact of Jesus’ three-year ministry on earth. It changed the lives of the people He encountered, and those people went on to change the lives of others, and so on and so on. MIMBS 11 Have you been discipled? If so, what did that look like and how did it impact your life? Daily Reading: Isaiah 57:15-59:21, Philippians 1:1-26, Psalm 71:1-24, Proverbs 24:9-10
there were hundreds of unchurched men who came with their families. They brainstormed ideas to set up a “ring the bell with a sledgehammer” game to meet these men and offer them opportunities to connect. Finally, a church did a live nativity for their community that had thousands of families walk through. The men’s leadership team realized this would be a great opportunity to connect with some unchurched dads. They offered dads a special gift so they could connect with them. What about your church? Choose one or two opportunities to get behind so you can start building an all-inclusive ministry to men. How could you leverage your major ministry initiatives next year to make them even more effective with men? That’s just the first step. Next, you need to get some leaders together, then talk and pray about how God might make all your church’s efforts work together to help men become passionate disciples of Jesus Christ. You’ll want to build a seamless process for men using all the ministry activities of your church. Want to learn more about an all-inclusive ministry to men? Search www.maninthemirror.org for the phrase “all-inclusive” or call a ministry consultant at 407-472-2100. We’d love to help!
• DAVID DELK
David Delk is President of Man in the Mirror. He is the author or co-author of five books, including The Marriage Prayer, The Dad in the Mirror, and No Man Left Behind. He lives in Orlando, Florida with his wife, Ruthie, and three children.
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25 Years of Ministry
But even more than these big picture stats, it was a joy to hear from real men whose lives have been changed. John shared how Man in the Mirror’s tools have enabled him to have an effective ministry with men who are hurting. Mike shared about how God used the ministry to change his life and save his marriage. On Friday morning, Keith and Kevin shared how God has worked through the Bible Study to help them become the men and fathers God wants them to be.
Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name goes all the glory for your unfailing love and faithfulness. Psalm 115:1
Perhaps even more exciting, God used Bruce Wilkinson to inspire the audience and reenergize our board and ministry leadership. We believe the Holy Spirit met with us and gave us a renewed vision. Over the next weeks, our staff will be spending time in prayer and fasting to confirm this direction. Look for more information to come! Guest speaker, Bruce Wilkinson inspired and reenergized our guests, staff and board members.
Two things became immediately obvious during Man in the Mirror’s 25th Anniversary celebration: God deserves great glory, and He has transformed a lot of men’s hearts.
It was a weekend of great celebration! It all started with a Men's Bible Study 25 years ago that continues today!
It was so encouraging to see how God has worked over these last 25 years: 44A weekly Bible study that has
been meeting in Winter Park since February 1986
Prayer continues to be the cornerstone of our ministry.
44Thousands of men from Central
Florida have come through the Bible Study and experienced God’s grace 44An estimated 10,000 men around
David Delk honored Dr. Patrick Morley for his faithfulness in ministry.
the world share in the weekly online study – 700,000 downloads from our library of more than 400 audio/video Bible Study messages from the website since 2002
Thousands of lives touched and changed!
44More than 9,000,000 books have been distributed worldwide 44125,000+ men have attended events at more than 1,200 churches in all
50 states and around the world 4410,000+ leaders have been trained from more than 3,000 churches 44More than 700 free resources for leaders are available on our website 44Provided leadership to the National Coalition of Ministries to Men, an
organization of 80 ministries focused on discipling men 44Partnerships with nearly all major denominations and men’s ministry
organizations
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Thanks to everyone who shared in the events and festivities, and also to all those who have sent us encouraging testimonies. We are so grateful to be in this battle with you.
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A Man and Stewardship continued from page 5 Isn’t that incredible? David says to God, “Everything in heaven and on earth is yours.” Y-O-U-R-S. Some drop the “Y” and make it “ours.” But the Bible says “everything” belongs to God. Then David adds, Yours, O Lord, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all. Wealth and honor come from you; you are the ruler of all things. In your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all. (verses 11–12) Where do wealth, honor, and strength come from? They come from God. No wonder David went on to exclaim, Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name. But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generously as this? Everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your hand. (verses 13–14) We could look at many other passages in God’s Word that parallel these ideas, yet this passage aptly summarizes the entire perspective of the Bible about where possessions come from and our stewardship. Everything we have comes from God, and it belongs to God. If you’re a Christian, you don’t even own yourself. You’ve been purchased with the blood of Jesus Christ, through His death. Everything you have is given as a trust with which you must prove faithful. The apostle Paul wrote, “Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful” (1 Corinthians 4:2). For the purposes of government and order, you may have deeds or titles to homes and cars. You may have bank accounts and certificates. But if you’re a believer, you don’t actually own anything—God does. Before my father passed away, he had papers that said he “owned” a house. But he was really just God’s manager. He was managing the use of his car. His wife and children actually belonged to God and were given to my father as a trust. It was his privilege, as a faithful steward, to watch over and enjoy them. Our understanding of ownership affects our decisions at every level. That is the foundation of biblical stewardship. Any Pharisee can tithe 10 percent, but a faithful steward devotes 100 percent of his time, talent, and treasures to God’s glory. —Excerpted from Chapter 10 of A Man’s Guide to the Spiritual Disciplines.
Study A Man’s Guide to the Spiritual Disciplines with your small group. Read the book and use the 2-3 minutes of Pat’s teaching on the DVD to kick off your group’s weekly meeting and start discussion. Go to www.maninthemirror.org and order your book/DVD combo today.
• Dr. patrick morley
After building one of Florida’s 100 largest privately held companies, in 1991 Dr. Patrick Morley founded Man in the Mirror, a non-profit organization to help men find meaning and purpose in life. Dr. Morley is the bestselling author of 13 books including The Man in the Mirror, No Man Left Behind, Pastoring Men, and A Man’s Guide to the Spiritual Disciplines.
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Non-Profit Org. US POSTAGE PAID Tampa, FL Permit No. 995
180 Wilshire Boulevard Casselberry, FL 32707
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