Hopezine #11 Spring 2023

EDITOR’S LETTER

Spring is upon us and as the daffodills start to bloom, we at Hopezine are taking a moment to ponder what makes us happy. In mental health care focussing on things that bring us happiness is known as positive psychology or compassion focussed therapy, which I’ve taken part in and that has brought me a happier life filled with joy.

In this special happy issue I invite contributors to seek what makes them happy, too. Whether it’s writer, Jessica Oakwood’s swim or our Accessibility Consultant, Paul Nicholls’s easy access ramp, I hope you’ll find something that makes you smile among these pages this month. And I invite you to spend a few minutes thinking about what makes you feel happy as we thaw out from a cool winter season.

Issue 11. Spring 2023

Founding Editor: Erica Crompton cromptonerica@hotmail.com

Accessibility consultant: Paul Nicholls

Cover image: Alice Evans www.aliceevansfineart.co.uk

Contributors: Alice Evans, Paul Nicholls, Jessica Oakwood

Special thanks: Erin Hickey at Visit Scotland, Caroline Mason at Visit Brighton, Matthew Timmins, Laura Edwards at Fintel and all staff at SimplyBiz

CONTENTS

Writing is my therapy.................................................................................Page 4-5

Writer and activist Jessica Oakwood has tapped out a poem about writing as therapy and how it makes her feel good

Treading water..............................................................................................

Plunge into the swimming pool this month and let the cool water wash over you

Page 6-7

If the shoe fits...............................................................................................

Page 8-9 In this poem about dressing-up dopamine-style, neurodivergent writer Jessica Oakwood flings open her wardrobe and gives us a peek inside If the shoe

The Ballintaggart.................... .................................................................

Page 14-15

Editor Erica Crompton delights in the Ballintaggart restaurant’s razor clams for this spring issue

The Cauldron..........................................................................................Page 24-25

Accessibility Consultant Paul Nicholl’s turns himself into a wizard with some homemade and magical cocktails

WRITING IS MY THERAPY

by Jessica Oakwood

The sound of my hands on the keys is like the start of rainfall. It relaxes me, it’s meditative. The blank document a canvas on which I can perform tricks.

Language is the trusty skateboard at my side. or perhaps the words are the prestige in a magic trick. The butt of a joke that isn’t meant to be funny.

I don’t feel truly myself unless my hands are on the keys processing my feelings on word processor I question often if I really want to write but when I do, I think of my two tattoos an A and Z in Baskerville Old Face one on each wrist.

Faded now over the years. A well-worn reminder that I shouldn’t try to kill myself again that I don’t always heed.

I don’t tell people that though I just say I am a writer and that they represent the alphabet

Happiness can be found in the curve of a well crafted sentence in the breakthrough of a piece that makes you feel like sunlight Is under your fingertips. And then you find homes for these stories, poems, essays like they are homeless hermit crabs looking for shells on the beach.

I wonder sometimes what grounds people without a purpose because for me, peace can always be found in the eye of a blinking curser my hands playing the MacBook like an instrument,

The sound of the keys tapping a concerto.

TREADING WATER by

Jessica Oakwood

We swim together sometimes at the weekend. We don’t do lengths we just float around aimlessly in the pool. It’s a small one, attached to the kind of hotel that’s popular for weddings. It is often just us in there.

That’s my favourite when we’re the only people in the water and we hold our palms together and go around in circles until I feel dizzy. He never does. He likes to spin in circles on solid ground if no one is watching. We’re both autistic, FYI.

In the water, we talk about everything under the sun and the sky and the stars As the light cascades into the pool leaving a dappled imprint on the azure blue water.

I think of our friendship this way tooas though we are floating through life together swimming in circles. Occasionally he will try to prise me out of the water recreating the lift from Dirty Dancing. And we will splutter and splash around until things are righted again. We are having the time of our lives too just floating.

I would say it’s without a care in the world but I carry cares with me, many of them. But while we float in the water they briefly seem weightless.

IF THE SHOE FITS

by Jessica Oakwood

I used to dress like someone else. Masking my autism and mental health problems with smart casual office wear and Kurt Geiger loafers with plain dresses that I didn’t have an opinion on.

Occasionally something would burst out of the mad wardrobe I hid in - a silk scarf bearing a symphony of musical notes a laser cut necklace featuring a glitter-covered unicorn with hooves that can move.

But mostly I was button-down wearing buttonless dresses and smart shoes. Sometimes mismatched because they were so similar I couldn’t tell the difference between pairs.

Since I lost my mind and lost the ability to mask my colour changing blending-in power is gone, I was once a chameleon with a knack for a spreadsheet.

But now, I’m left as just me.

I’ve started to dopamine dress to try and give myself a hit of happiness.

I pick the brightest thing in the closet, clash it with a cardigan and voila, I am ready.

I’m tired now, daily life is harder carrying mental health issues on my worn shoulders and although sometimes I wear the same outfit over and over, it’s too complex to think through what to wear too intensive to sort out what needs to be washed I throw it all on from my floordrobe - pretence of functionality begone.

And I dress like a rainbow threw up on me with just a pinch of glitter

Blairmore Farm

Tucked at the bottom of a rolling hill and overlooking the Perthshire Scottish countryside, is the Orchard Cottage at Blairmore farm. It’s a delightful, quaint space with the fields dotted with wildlife and farm animals. As Hopezine’s Accessibility Consultant, I reckon this is my favourite spot to stay in Scotland as the self-catering accommodation is so wheelchair friendly. A highlight for me is the low ramp that runs throughout the cottage and connects all the rooms. www.blairmorefarm.com - Paul Nicholls

The Enchanted Forest

There’s something about a lit up forest that soothes and beguiles. At the Enchanted Forest in Pitlochry there’s a seasonal light show where you can absorb the magic and submerse yourself in feeling happy. There’s all the colours of the rainbow to behold in a truly beautiful forest setting as an inky sky covers the trees and provides the backdrop to the lights at dusk. For more information visit www.enchantedforest.org.uk – Erica Crompton

The Ballintaggart

What makes me feel happy? Food, of course! Paul and I recently inhaled the most splendid of seafood supers at Ballintaggart restaurant in the Grandtully countryside by a wee river in Perthshire. We are pushed to think of a time we had tastier fish. The razor clams were doused in the most delicious creamy sauce and the smoked salmon sharer starter made my mouth water. The restaurant itself brought about feelings of comfort, content and style, too. It was all very contemporary and tastefully designed. I recommend the pale ale with whiskey chaser as a lovely aperitif to the meal taken outside on a cool evening by an open wood burner that sits to the front of the restaurant. ballintaggart.com – Erica Crompton

The Hilton Brighton Metropole hotel ticks all the boxes for accessibility. It has five rooms with sea views that are wheelchair-friendly. And my girlfriend Erica says a sea view and the sea breeze is good for her mental health because it feels both relaxing and refreshing. We stayed here on a recent trip to Brighton and there was lots of space to turn around (a donut!) and also space for my chair under the sink in the tiled wetroom. Staff here left us a small gift box with gin and biscuits which made for a nice, personal touch.

www.hilton.com/en/hotels/bshmetw-hilton-brighton-metropole/ - Paul Nicholls

The Experimental Perfume Club

Perfume can lift our spirits and improve our mood – you only have to have had a session of aromatherapy to know this or tried a few drops of Lavender oil on your pillow to aid relaxation. But what’s really fun is making your own perfume! At the Experimental Perfume Club in London you can do just this! EPC do perfume making sessions at their London store for all the smells and all the feels. Not in London? Try a perfume making kit from £95 – you can blend your own from three to four samples or wear the perfumes as stand alone scents. I’m taken with the Iris Carmin scent that EPC do, a warm and golden scent bringing together the comfort of orange blossom absolute, the brightness of neroli and the greenness of fig leaves, basil and petitgrain. From £32.

experimentalperfumeclub.com. - Erica Crompton

I’ve said it earlier on in this issue (page 16-17) and I’ll say it again – food improves my mood and can help make me feel happy! Comfort food especially can help sooth anxious and gurgling stomachs. For this special happy edition of Hopezine I ordered my favourite comfort food at Moshimo restaurant in Brighton – dumplings! I ate pork and beef dumplings and washed them back with some heavenly plum wine. I love dumplings so much I once read a book dedicated to them! Here are some fun dumplings facts I can remember: in Cantonese ‘wonton’ means ‘swallowing clouds’ and the shape of Italian tortellini is thought to be inspired by the Pope’s daughter’s navel! My Brightonian dumplings were carefully parcelled and fried and I shared a whole two plates for a starter with Paul!

Visit Moshimo at Bartholomew Square. Brighton. BN1 1JS

www.moshimo.co.uk – Erica Crompton

Terre a Terre

Paul and I went veggie for this issue of Hopezine and it was surprisingly good! Terre a Terre is a restaurant set within Brighton’s famous ‘Lanes’ that has a reputation for the best vegan and vegetarian food in the UK. Now, I was surprised Paul agreed to visit with me as he’s quite the carnivore! However he liked the look of the batter-fried halloumi and chips, pictured here. He said it was a little rich for him and that he might of preferred a meat dish, but that didn’t stop him from clearing his plate! Terre à Terre was founded in 1993 by friends Amanda Powley and Philip Taylor. Both classically trained chefs, they met in Brighton by chance after cooking their way around the world, and soon decided to join forces to upturn the worlds perception of meat-free cooking and see how far they could push the boundaries. They also have a happy ‘Happy Hour’ which is guaranteed to please – if you see me at the bar, mine’s a vegantastic Bloody Mary!

terreaterre.co.uk

– Erica Crompton

The Cauldron

If we were eating a lot of food for this special happy issue of Hopezine, we couldn’t do so without a good watering too. So, we drank all the liquid at The Cauldron, a magical-themed pub set in Clarence Gardens in Brighton. We took an aperitif outside first and then headed into the warm interior, discovering it’s all fantasy-inspired cocktail bar and pub where you can use working magic wands to mix drinks, pour pints and brew molecular cocktails! We opted for the ‘Potion Making’ session which lasted an hour and 45 minutes or until our legs gave way. This included a magic wand which helped us pour a couple of welcome drinks, and a magical brewing cauldron where we conjured up two molecular cocktails complete with ‘snowman snot’! There are non-alcoholic options for children and families, too. And plenty of help from friendly staff which us two bozos needed in order to make our magical cocktails just so. It’s possibly the most fun we’ve ever had turning into wizards for the night, and drunken ones at that! It costs £32.99 for one adult. thecauldron.io/brighton – Paul Nicholls

Happy Book

Once upon a time I thought I was clinically depressed as I slept so much (a side effect of my antipsychotic medication) and spent a whole lot of time in bed feeling sorry for myself. I mentioned this to my care co-ordinator and she booked me onto a course of Compassion Focused Therapy, a talking therapy that teaches us to be kinder to ourselves. As part of this course I learnt to keep a ‘happy book’ to help improve my low mood. My happy book comprises all the things that have made me smile – handwritten text messages, emails, birthday cards, pressed flowers – you name it, if it makes me smile I put it in. I use an A4 folder and try to review it every month, adding as I go. Whenever I feel low now I will reach for my happy book and read it from cover to cover – and it makes me feel great! I recommend everybody keeps their own happy book to bring a smile when it’s needed most! – Erica Crompton

The Mind Surfer is journalist Erica Crompton’s memoir, a collection of first-person prose and journalism that details exactly what psychosis is and how she learned to manage it in her late teens to mid-thirties. This book is aimed at all people, young or old, whose lives have been touched by psychosis: themselves, their loved ones and their caregivers.

Reviews:

“This is no misery memoir but a passionate and hopeful account of living with psychosis, with lots of wisdom and self-help advice along the way.” – Alastair Campbell

“Erica shares her mental health journey with such rawness and wisdom. I could relate to so much of it, and I know many others will too. Her writing is extremely powerful. Erica’s words will no doubt touch everyone who reads her story.” – Jonny

Benjamin MBE

“Bursting with hope and packed full of sage advice.” – David O’Coy, Editor, Fused Magazine.

Available now from www.victorinapress.com

Fintel are proud sponsors of Hopezine