Hopezine #10 / Winter 2022

Rays of light amid the darkness

winter Hopezine, 2022!

the nights draw in, we offer you some different thoughts on medications for

illness. I’ve included a few different

for you to decide for yourself

there’s no shame or judgement

course you decide to take. Your mind, your choice.

the cover you’ll see our

taken at

Museum in

and remastered by artist and mental health campaigner, Mud.

hope it’ll make you think about disability and what that can mean to different people. For inspiration, we’ve been on the beat in Coventry and

to see how accessible these cities are and also how good the food is!

highlights for my own mental wellbeing

the

for scale and history – really helps put little things in perspective.

hope you enjoy this issue with a

of

a cool winter’s night.

PSYCH WARD MEDS

by Mud

she sucks on her menthol e-cigarette it tastes like the outside desperation in a tube. she turns her head from side to side staring blankly all around her taking nothing in but nicotine. a step forward, she’s at the counter name? turn the page a little paper cup, with little paper pills, plastic gulp of water. zopiclone? it must be time for bed this is how she keeps track. doc, are they working, doc? why don’t you have some toast? am I cured yet, doc? the little paper cup with the little paper pills is not easy to hide eyes on you check that every pill is gone

Artwork by Erica Crompton

WHY I DIDN’T TAKE MEDICATION FOR MY ANXIETY

by John Apples

I was 16 when I first experienced social anxiety. I was on a half empty train to London when it pulled up at the last stop and then, a tsunami of passengers spilled onto the train. I panicked as I got squeezed amongst the passengers and broke into a cold sweat that drenched my entire clothes from top to toe. Walking through these crowds my heart was pounding so hard I thought I was having a heart attack. As an introverted teenager I lacked social skills and self-esteem, but luckily I wasn’t feeling depressed or suicidal. I spoke to my GP about treating anxiety with medication, but felt too nervous to be influenced by medication side-effects because there were risks. According to mental health charity, Mind, Benzodiapines mediations such as Diazepam, commonly used to treat anxiety, can cause side effects. Then there were ‘paradoxical’ side effects, being the opposite of what the medication is meant to do. These side-effects included aggressive behaviour, feeling detached, and even suicidal thoughts. Long-term use of Benzodiapines could risk feeling cut off from my emotions and being ‘dulled’ down. And all this to treat one condition- anxiety.

I decided to explore safer options.

I got referred by my GP for counselling to treat my social anxiety. During my sessions my counsellor addressed my past experiences and gave me CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) that changed how I thought and felt about anxiety, and by confronting the fear itself- my fear of people. My task was to expose myself more and more to that fear, known as exposure therapy. I changed my mindset to think people were ok, and that nothing bad would happen in crowded spaces. The more I exposed myself to being in crowds with this mindset, my symptoms radically improved. I felt confident and comfortable in crowds, and I wasn’t sweating. I improved my anxiety without taking medication. I don’t believe medication is the answer for everyone, including everyone with anxiety, but I do believe it is necessary only in severe cases where anxiety poses a serious danger to one’s life and mental health.

Artwork by Erica Crompton

WHY I TAKE MY MEDICATION EVERY DAY

by Erica Crompton

I’ve made the artwork opposite to show how my brain might look when I’m unwell with psychosis. I call these collages the ‘brain surgery series’ as to make them I take a scalpel to pictures of people in magazines! Since 1999 I’ve taken different measures of antipsychotic medication to treat psychosis or the brain explosions you see in my artwork and this means that, today, I’m able to live my life without too many symptoms of my illness. For me, I don’t worry too much about side effects as they’ve always been outweighed by the benefits of taking pills: being able to get out and about, being able to take part in paid work,

being independent and best of all keeping on top of my relationships with loved ones. A prescription and a therapeutic relationship with my psychiatrist also means I can access employment support benefits as stress can cause a relapse so I am advised not to work too hard!

My psychiatrist has told me I’ll be on medication for life but that there’s still hope to reduce my dosage if things improve. I hope one day that happens but I’m in no hurry!

Working with psychologists and a psychiatrist has been one of my best decisions in life as on the whole I consider myself in a much happier place than when my psychosis was left untreated.

A DELIGHTFUL DAY IN YORK

by Erica Crompton

As one of the UK’s biggest tourist destinations, Paul and I fiddled with chocolate buttons and ate like Fat Dan from Rate My Takeaway recently in York. For our stay we drove 20 miles North East of the city centre to Sandburn Hall Hotel which had the most sophisticated wetroom we’ve yet to encounter on our travels for Hopezine. It was all gunmetal-grey tiles with a long mirror for wheelchair users and able bodies alike. See if you can spot Paul taking the photo! After a restful night’s slumber, we had a full day ahead so a big breakfast buffet at Tykes restaurant was essential. We took a ten minute drive to Castle Howard for coffee and cake set in a beguiling stately home, all naked statues and historic artworks displayed with impeccable taste for interiors. Our next stop was York city centre for a City Cruise on an accessible boat. It’s a lovely way to take in all the history and sites of York while bobbing along the canal, dotted with fisherpeople! One thing we learnt about on the cruise was York’s worldfamous chocolate industry and we

explored this a little more in-depth at nearby York’s Chocolate Story in King’s Square. Here we had an entertaining tour of the site and got to add buttons and wafers to our own chocolate lolly sticks! We also watch on with watering mouths as skilled chocolatiers give a demonstration of chocolate making in action! Our final stop in our tour of York is the Minster, one of the world’s most magnificent cathedrals, and the largest gothic cathedral in Northern Europe. Since the 7th century, the Minster has been at the centre of Christianity in the north of England. Paul loves the accessibility of the place and we both enjoy the colossal stained glass windows. Before leaving we give thanks to all York has to offer by lighting a candle and saying a prayer.

Castle Howard

City Cruises,York

Sandburn Hall Hotel

York’s Chocolate Story

SENT TO A NEWLY CHIC CITY

by Erica Crompton

With its recent reign of City of Culture, Coventry has had a revamp. Think flat streets: the silver lining to a a rebuild after the World War II bombings. There’s chic retro restaurants and the viral sensation that is Binley Mega Chippy, too. We went along to see what it was all about. Our first stop was St. Mary’s Guildhall, a former prison to Mary Queen of Scots, and once a theatre for Shakespeare. Here in the Cathedral quarter of Coventry we found the ecclesiastical building has recently reopened after some work. Paul loved the accessibility that had been considered in the renovation and I loved the elephant icon that had been restored, too – you have to look closely around the building for little elephant signs! Around the corner you’ll find The Reel Store, part of a renovation of the former Telegraph Coventry newspaper site and The Telegraph Hotel’s first permanent immersive digital art gallery. We immersed ourselves in a digital exhibition by artist Refik Anadol that sees soothing projections of space imagery on the walls, floors and ceiling slowly moving around and covering all in the space. After taking in the culture we stopped for cocktails at the neighbouring Telegraph Hotel,

another part of the former newspaper building’s empire. Think luxury and Fifties glamour straight out of the Mad Men TV series. We both enjoyed the Forme & Chase restaurant, bar and lounge here especially the wide entrance complete with black marbled facade that harks back to the days of Fleet Street. To end our stay we inhaled a refreshing cup of afternoon tea at Coombe Abbey Hotel set in a nearby 500 acres of parkland and formal gardens in the Warwickshire countryside. The site dates back to the 12th century and was surrendered to King Henry VIII during the dissolution of the monasteries and the future Queen Elizabeth I even lived there as a child – something to ponder with our cups of Earl Grey as the sun sets upon us. Erica and Paul stayed at the Brandon Hall Hotel and Spa, set in 17 acres of grounds and gardens: brandonhallhotelandspa. co.uk. For more information on visiting Coventry and it’s accessibility log-on to www.visitcoventry.co.uk.

Abbey Coombe Hotel

St. Mary’s Guildhall

The Telegraph

The Reel Store

Brandon Hall Hotel and Spa

SOMETHING SOOTHING

As the nights draw in once more, I’ve taken to stargazing after being dazzled by the perseid meteor shower last August and September. Don’t fret if you missed those shooting stars as there’s more ahead on 21st October and 22nd October: the Orionid Meteor shower or the Taurid meteor shower, also know as the ‘Halloween Fireballs’, is visible from the end of October to the start of December (depending on when you may get a chance to read this). I’ve found that sleepless nights can be made very exciting by heading outside for a milky, sleep-inducing drink and I’ll gaze upwards and ponder. It’s such a pretty sight and it makes you wonder if we’re alone in the galaxy! Plus a touch of insomnia suddenly feels insignificant in the grand scheme of things when you see how big the world is! Other highlights (skylights?) to look out for this autumn and winter are a solar eclipse on 25th October as the sun sets on Christmas day, a thin arc of the Moon will be visible with Venus and Mercury hanging low in the southwestern sky – making a peaceful end to the year.

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and Nathan Filer

of Hopezine

Paul at St. Mary’s Guildhall