There’s something Wrong If You’re Not Fighting
It’s hard for new, or even old couples to imagine themselves fighting, but fighting comes into a relationship as easily as peanut butter goes with jelly. Conflict in a relationship – regardless of the duration – isn’t just a natural occurrence, but is inevitable; people are fooling themselves if they think they can last on cloud nine forever. Professionals have said that the sooner a couple accepts the inevitable fighting, the easier they can work through it. Divorce rates are rising because of the simple fact that couples never anticipated or even entertained the possibility that they might fight. Fortunately, there are ways of using fights to mend broken bridges between couples even in the darkest of times.
Fighting is Normal Once a couple stops seeing a fight as a danger sign of things going wrong, the sooner they can work together to move past whatever it is. Anything can be overcome if enough time for thought is given towards finding a solution – regardless of the gravity of the problem. Couples often panic before, during or after a fight, because they read too much into it, and listen too much to relationship advice from television or radio programs. One fight is not a sign of times to come, not if those same couples don’t take any steps to change it.
Fighting is an Opportunity There are always two ways of looking at things; either as an obstacle or a step ladder. The same can be said for relationships, if couples don’t use their fights as lessons for the future then they’ll never get anywhere. Disagreements are chances for couples to assess themselves and their relationships to find out what’s wrong, and correct it. Conflict is an opportunity for growth, and until people start seeing them that way, they’ll never move forward, and their relationships will hold no meaning.
Listen to the Conflict Councilors and mediators always tell their clients to be willing to listen to their spouses, but they hardly say a word about what they should be listening to. A fight – much like love – is a two-way street, there’s never a fight where only one party has a grievance, and that’s what conflicting couples need to look out for. The hardest criticisms to take are the ones that come from the spouse, because it’s guaranteed to have no BS involved. People should be mature enough to accept the truth the most important person in their lives sees in them and fix it; otherwise they have no business being in a relationship at all.
RESOURCES: http://www.divorceattorneyinlongisland.com/ http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/867900.Divorce_and_Family_Mediation http://www.mostenmediation.com/training/