Fall 2015: Issue 1

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The Knothole WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/ESFKNOTHOLE

OCTOBER, 2015

VOLUME 71, ISSUE 1

Fall 2015 Stumpies & Writers Charity Tournament

Location: ESF Quad

Date & Time: October 17th 8 - 4 18th 12 - 4

Cost Per Team: $30 of dontions cans & socks

Table of contents/small twigs

Table of Contents

Small Twigs: Personal Essays

Budding Minds: Poetry

One Step At a Time ..............................2

Poetry By: Carly Elizabeth Beson, Shourjya Majumder, Jamie McClain, Rebecca Rolnick ...8 & 9

Silly Sap: Satire & Laughs

Getting to the Root: Environmental News

Climate Refugees: Beyond Syria ........ 3 Growing Hope for Journey .................4 Branch Out: Miscellaneous

Stumpie Spotlight ................................5 Simplicity Over Toxicity ......................6 Stumpie Problems ................................7 A Second Glance .................................10 Horoscopes ..........................................10

One step at a Time Mandi Cordiale

The brisk air nipped at my bare calves as I threw my pack onto my back. It was only 6:45am. I could feel the lack of sleep gnawing at me, but excitement was overwhelming me. Only 4.85 miles stood between me and achieving my first 14’er, or mountain summit that reaches 14,000 feet in elevation. Colorado has many mountains, but this one was special. This one was mine to conquer.

I glanced over at my mother who was also excited.

She referred to herself as being “über” prepared: plenty of water and snacks in her pack.

10 Tips to Surving Sadler ...................11 Primitive Primitive Skills: Fire Making .................................................12 Ask a Nut ............................................ 13 Weird Creature ....................................14

Cover Design: Mark Tepper

Being from New York (where the elevation is 400 feet), the lack of oxygen at this elevation can be a bit taxing: Plenty of water is essential. We took a breath and were on our way.

The first part was only switchbacks (a road with sharp turns), but at 9,000 feet, going up anything was challenging.

We huffed and puffed all the way to our first checkpoint: crossing makeshift bridges across creeks created from a few logs.

We eventually reached some beautiful birch trees.

The contrast between black and white seemed to highlight the bright green of the summer leaves. As the birch tree trail sloped downward, we

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arrived at a stream in Delaney Gulch. The trail went several feet up and then several feet back down, and up and down again. We still had about 3,000 feet to ascend.

I wheezed my way up to the top of several more switchbacks. I felt my legs burn. As an exercise enthusiast, this feeling made me determined.

As a sleep enthusiast, I wanted to nap. This ascension became more difficult each step I took. I swear I saw the top.

“I’m almost there,” I thought enthusiastically. Little did I know, this was only the beginning.

I pushed myself above the tree line and marveled at Continued on p. 15

Getting to the Root

Climate Refugees: Beyond Syria Katie Oran For years we have watched as Syria was ripped apart by a civil war that has claimed 220,000 lives, according to the United Nations. We watched as thousands of children were killed and chemical weapons were used on innocent people.

Images of millions fleeing to neighboring Jordan and Turkey flashed on the news every night. We were horrified, sure, but there was no outcry of “refugees welcome”, and no one was offering any open doors to Syrian families.

The West woke up when Aylan Kurdi died. Images of the three-year-old Syrian boy lying face down in the sand on a Turkish beach plastered the covers of newspapers around the world. This spurred an international outcry for more to be done for refugees fleeing Syria and other war torn regions of the Middle East.

Aylan’s parents, and thousands of other parents fleeing Syria, felt that putting their children on a boat to Europe was safer than staying in their homeland. They decided that fleeing to countries that offered nothing for them was better than staying in cities that have been destroyed by bombs. Four million people have made this decision since the conflict began in 2011, according to the United Nations.

As more refugees flock to

Europe, many are trying to understand the current situation and what led up to it.

Some are now linking the conflict to a drought that plagued the country from 2006 to 2011, which displaced millions of Syrians within their country before the uprising in 2011. A recent report from the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences concluded that “[c]entury-long observed trends…strongly suggest that anthropogenic [human-caused] forcing has increased the probability of severe and persistent droughts in this region. We conclude that human influences on the climate system are implicated in the current Syrian conflict”.

The CEO of Friends of Earth, Craig Bennet, said in an article for the Guardian that “[i]t would be wrong to say climate change ‘caused’ these conflicts, but equally the evidence suggests it would be wrong to say it didn’t play a contributing role.” The refugee crisis we are seeing in western Europe may not be directly linked to climate change, but it is just the beginning of a larger crisis as more and more places become uninhabitable due to our inability to act on climate change.

Conflict following a scarcity of resources is nothing new.

It’s a trend that has been noted in conflicts civil and foreign globally since the beginning of civilization. Conflicts

in Darfur, beginning in 2003, were deeply linked to climate change according to the United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon and many other likeminded figures. We cannot ignore other causes for the conflict (ethnic struggles, government, and military), but we must look to the root of the problem to see the linkage to climate change. Reports from the United Nations say that rain had decreased by 40% since the 1980s, and the area was already facing desertification, land degradation and a struggle for resources. The unrest in Darfur resulted in nearly 200,000 refugees.

As resources become scarce there will be more unrest and warfare, and more refugees. When discussing the inevitable increase in climate refugees that the world will see, it’s important to think about why they will become refugees, and where they are coming from. At the UN Convention on Climate Change in 2009 the world agreed to limit global temperature increase to 2 degrees Celsius. At that same conference, developed countries agreed to pay developing countries ten billion dollars annually until 2012 to mitigate the effects of climate change. Lumumba Stanislaus Di-Aping, an ambassador from Sudan, said that “[t]en billion dollars will not buy developing countries’ citizens enough coffins.” Another delegate from Grenada, Desimma Williams,

Student Life & The Environment • THE KNOTHOLE • 3

Getting to the root

Climate Refugees: Beyond Syria Cont. said “two degrees is suicide.”

They’re both right. For as long as these climate change conventions have been happening, the wealthiest countries have been leading the discussion and writing the agreements.

The problem with that becomes obvious when you realize that the countries writing the agreements are also the biggest polluters.

Restrictions will hit the hardest in those countries that have not used their natural resources the way that Europe and North America have.

How is it fair for the United States to tell Brazil not to

cut down their trees when we have deforested most of our country in the last 200 years?

How can we tell countries in the Middle East to leave their oil in the ground when we, the United States, have extracted and burned all of our own? We have decided that devastation in Africa, the Middle East, and island nations is an acceptable sacrifice to maintain the status quo of pollution and “progress” for the west.

As sea levels rise, those in coastal communities and island nations will become climate refugees. As temperatures soar above 115 degrees,

Growing Hope For Journey Caden Richardson Over the past several decades, efforts have been made to reintroduce one of North America’s most important predators – wolves. After being hunted to near extinction, the wolf population in the United States is rebounding significantly. Yellowstone National Park is the most famous for these efforts.

Many areas where wolves used to roam, however, are still uninhabited. For example, wolves haven’t been seen in California since 1924, and the last wolf in western Oregon was killed in 1947.

In September of 2011, a gray wolf from a pack in eastern Oregon split off and began wandering the southwest.

Dubbed OR-7 for being the

seventh wolf collared in Oregon, though now called “Journey”, he traveled over 1,000 miles through Oregon and California. He is the first wolf seen in these areas in almost a century, causing conservationists to take special interest. In 1990 the government reintroduced wolves to eastern Oregon, but until Journey, no wolf crossed the Rocky Mountain border into western Oregon.

The only reason Journey was able to make the trek across the two states was by traveling through large, undeveloped areas with no roads, called “wildlife corridors”.

Areas like these are becoming less and less common, but if species dispersion is to continue throughout the United States, similar passages must be preserved.

Journey returned to the area

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those in the Middle East and in Northern Africa will also become climate refugees. It is the responsibility of the biggest polluters to host people fleeing from the destruction that their pollution has caused. We have written their death sentence, and it is our duty to ensure that they will have a place to live when their home is gone.

What’s happening in Europe right now is a small-scale preview of what is to come, and we should be prepared for it, because it has already begun.

of Medford, Oregon with a mate, after traveling through California. It is unknown where the two met or which pack the mate is from. In April of 2014, the pair birthed three pups – all of which survived.

John Stephenson, a wolfcoordinator tracking Journey, suspects another litter was born this year, but none of the new pups have been captured on camera.

Now called the “Rogue Pack”, Journey’s family is paving the way for the wolf recovery to move into western Oregon and northern California, expanding the wolf territory once more. With any luck, more wolves will be seen crossing the Rocky Mountains in the coming years, and the wild populations will continue to grow.

Branch out

Stumpy Spotlight Elle Donnelly This being my first interview, I was quite nervous to approach an interviewee, but as the lunch rush in Trailhead came to a halt (and I finished my large heap of confidenceinspiring nachos) I spotted the perfect “Stumpy Spotlight” subject.

In my sights was Bob Pedian: A Sophomore majoring in Conservation Biology, and is about the friendliest guy you’ll ever meet. I presented him with a proposition: become an instant Knothole star. He agreed after the first bite of his burrito.

Once finished with his Mexican feast, Bob shyly strode over to my table, and I began pestering him with questions people are dying to know.

Stumpy Spotlight: What is the worst date you’ve ever been on?

Bob Pedian: I don’t have an example for myself, but my friend went to the movies one time and his date wounded up spilling her soda all over him, so for the rest of the movie he was all wet.

SS: Wow that sounds pretty awful! Did he ever go on a date with her again?

BP: It was his girlfriend actually so yes haha.

SS: What infamous person would you like to have dinner with? Someone who has a bad reputation that you’d like to understand better or get to know.

BP: Hmm…that’s a pretty tough one, but I guess I would like to hang out with a vigilante character like Batman.

I know he’s not really infamous, but he goes against the law. It would be cool to hang out with him and fight some crime. (Side note: this interviewer thinks Bob would make a great Robin).

SS: What misconception did

you have about the world when you were a child?

BP: When I was really little and wanted to be an archeologist, I thought that there was a place where they made dinosaurs so that I could actually work with live dinosaurs.

SS: Was that a direct result of watching Jurassic Park too many times?

BP: Yeah that movie was my childhood!

SS: Describe a time you went completely out of your comfort zone that resulted in an amazing experience you wouldn’t have had without that risk.

BP: When I was in high school I took a class where I didn’t know anyone and we went to the Galapagos Islands. I met a bunch of really interesting people! One girl convinced me to come, and although I was two years below the requirement, I somehow weaseled my way in and had an amazing time.

SS: How long was the trip for, and what did you do while you were there?

BP: It was two weeks. We went to the Charles Darwin research center, I saw Lonesome George before he died, and went snorkeling around the islands.

SS: I bet that was the trip of a lifetime! Before I let you go, can you tell all of our readers what your favorite thing about being a Stumpy is?

BP: My favorite thing about being a stumpy is knowing that this is the perfect school for me. The community here is just incredible—being able to walk up to anybody and having them be so friendly is awesome. ESF is the right fit for anyone into this kind of thing, with the school having great professors, and a great atmosphere.

Student Life & The Environment • THE KNOTHOLE • 5

branch out

Simplicity over Toxicity: A Guild to a Chemical Free Lifestyle Miranda Cordiale

odorant. Luckily, there are natural alternatives to the products you know and love.

Your skin is the largest organ of your body.

Skin’s major function is to protect your inner This deodorant recipe is easy and can be made organs from the dangers of the outside world. with stuff you can usually find around your It is important that one maintains proper skin house. care. Although people think they are taking What you will need: care of their skin when they apply certain skin ¼ cup of coconut oil products, the truth is, many are not. Many 3 tablespoons of cornstarch lotions and other cosmetic products contain A little over a tablespoon of baking soda terrible chemicals, such as Sodium Lauryl 10-20 drops of fragrance oil of your choice (I Sulfate (found in engine degreasers and gaenjoy lavender, but tea tree and eucalyptus are rage floor cleaners, good for your skin) causes eye damage and skin irStart by melting ritation), Benzoyl the coconut oil in Peroxide (found a sauce pan if it is in acne products, not already melted. but damages the Then add your corn DNA in your cells), starch, baking soda Propylene Glycol/ and fragrance and Butylene Glycol mix together thor(the EPA requires oughly. Seal inside people who come the jar and presto! in contact with it Remember that a to be in full proteclittle goes a long tive gear because way. Also, coconut it can damage your oil is hard to wash kidneys, brain and off so you can wipe liver), Methyl/pro- Image Credit: bowenmurphy on Flickr your hands with a pyl/etc., Parabens towel after applying. (found in lotions and deodorants, also found This concoction should last you for weeks, so in breast cancer tumors, and can cause early say good bye to the pricey deodorants you once puberty and sterility), to name a few. So what knew, and say hello to your new chemical free does this mean? You don’t want acne, you want lifestyle. smooth skin and you can’t give up wearing de-

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Stumpie Problems Justin Coleman

The 21st century can be often thought of as the age of information. Everyone, in places as far the United States and Taiwan, are connected with each other. With the Internet, you can hear about the problems of other countries. I’ve been very lucky to have grown up in the great northeast of New England. I have had a great life, and I am extremely fortunate to not have been born in a country that is facing a multitude of problems. Despite being so fortunate to live in the States, I notice it is common for people (including us Stumpages) to still complain about their problems.

I am the first to admit that I am an offender of this. I do try to minimize my complaints as much as possible, by always recognizing that I could be in a much tougher situation than the one I’m complaining about. I often try my best to let the small things go. However, there is a certain type of problem that I can never seem to let go of. If things like sustainable food, animal welfare, recycling, and non-motorized transportation are important to you, than you may agree with me. These are some problems that are constantly bugging me.

branch out The first problem that motivated me to write this article series is the lack of recycling programs. Even if there is a recycling program, people treat it as this daunting chore, or worse try to tell me why it is not important. It’s so easy a cavemen can do it. Science aside, the idea reusing and recycling is a good idea. It is annoying to watch someone throw a recyclable item into a trash can when there is a recycling bin available. While this is a daily frustration for me, to some, it may not even register as big as a problem as I see it. Stumpies should live by three simple rules: reduce, reuse, and recycle. We should also take it a step further by not throwing recyclables in the trash.

Another problem, introduced to me by a few vegan friends, it is that many organic foods are not sustainable. My vegan friends, who are also animal oriented and concerned with sustainability, were out food shopping and discovered that even the vegan food has palm oil in it. Palm oil is a cash crop, which is grown in the rainforest, and has done tremendous ecological damage to the habitat of the mighty Orangutan. My friends considered my argument about the unsuitability of the product,

and after thinking about it decided that they would buy it anyways.

You just can’t win. Is it that hard to be ecologically, environmentally, economically, and ergonomically friendly these days? To be a modern student, one often finds themselves between a rock and a hard place. I wanted to write this article, because I know that the struggle is real. I can find solace in my friends at ESF who readily agree with and relate to these concerns. I am always happy that my fellow Stumpies are sharing this knowledge with our friends and family outside of ESF, convincing their love ones to be more sustainable.

Armed with our extremely extensive, and maybe even a little bit excessive, knowledge of environmental issues, we will convert the world to be sustainable one step at a time.

Anyways, I hope that anyone reading this can relate, and maybe even have gotten a laugh or two out of it. I would love to hear from the Knothole readers on your stories of Stumpie problems. If you have a story that you would like featured in this series, feel free to contact me in person, or you can send an email to me at jcoleman@syr.edu.

Student Life & The Environment • THE KNOTHOLE • 7

Poetry Corner Asphalt Asylum (A Warning to the Cracking Pavement) Carly Elizabeth Benson

Tolerant Carrier Shourjya Majumder

All ashore, there is no time to waste!

Gather your belongings, the members of your family You are about to embark on a voyage; Through a vast sea of torrential waves That sting your face, resulting in blindness The ship you are on, however, is designed to withstand these conditions Its structure is extremely sturdy, its exterior a light golden The base is wide and flat, in order to I understand this is your asphalt asylum prevent it from sinking; Those vacant lots must have chains Brass padlocks on the nose of the ship locked to seedlings, seal the doors tightly.

But will you listen to the weeds below you High quality Plexiglas in the window With fragile stems that break concrete protects it from fierce storms. ceilings?

The ship has provided service to millions Don’t be fooled by their softness in nature of passengers It is no weakness against the pave they Transporting them to places near and far break, It was created roughly 40-50 billion years There are no locks or gates to the ground ago, below us By whom, no one knows Grass grows up, not across the scape It was first put into use by wandering nomads And this is where the asphalt cries sanctu- Who needed a way to facilitate travel; ary Little fuel is needed to run this ship, Against the knock of greener things It can carry up to 500-1000 pounds Your wooden dowel across the door Distribution is key; loads may need to be Won’t save the altar from nature’s quak- dumped overboard ing.

The ship is unable to move if the load or people are unbalanced The lifeless rubble between my toes If the ship needs to be filled up with fuel, Won’t replace green’s placid breathing It requires a vast amount before it can Because it’s only of most inevitable things start moving again That the earth be for Earth’s taking.

Existing in two forms, the Dromedary and the Bactrian These ships are the way of life for nomadic people Who live in the desert.

Because this is where the tar claims sanctuary Against the knock of greener things And this is where pavement dresses in satin A fine fur coat of gasoline Its prism boasts in your direction Diverting you from what it means, Because this is where the asphalt widens To the edge of cracking streets

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I Was Once Told Jamie McClain

Absence Rebecca Rolnick

I was once told Poetry is a great form of expression I could do as I please The rules that must be followed don’t apply here

Right now, I am Here sitting in the shade of the sunflower I planted from seed.

I have taken this to heart I do as I please Rarely changing my poems for others For others won’t hear my poem unless I like it from the start And if I like it that’s all that matters

Soon, I will not be Here Leaving home: the thought is hard to fathom.

I’m very sad to say I can’t tell you who spoke those words to me But I can tell you this You may not like this poem; maybe you think it is pointless But that’s okay, as long as I like it that is

For now, a fly lands on my still finger as I inhale summer.

And you know what I could not be happier with it So feel free to try and kill me with you criticism I’ll listen to it, maybe I’ll even say thank you But that doesn’t mean I’m going to change my work Crash Course Shourjya Majumder They float freely without care; Colliding, smashing, searing.

On top of a red liquid hot to the touch That is melting, dissolving, burning.

They are changing yet they stay the same By wind, water, and air.

When they meet, they perform great tricks At which we all marvel and stare.

We never hear them building right underneath our feet Forming mountains and valleys that we travel so very far to meet.

Himalayas, Andes, Alps situated worldwide.

None of these would have been possible had they not been by our side.

They pull apart, come together, and grind back and forth They exist everywhere from the South Pole to the North Divergent, Convergent, Transform, are the tools that they use Plate tectonics are a phenomenon that we are unable to refuse.

Photos by Scott M. Przybyla Jr “Constricted Views From Bald Mountain, NY”

Student Life & The Environment • THE KNOTHOLE • 9

Branch out

A Second Glance: 1968 Isabella Kaplan My eager steps echoed in the empty stairwell on my way to the Knothole office. As I unlocked the door my mind wondered excitedly about what treasures I would find hidden in these aging Knothole publications. Among the dusty pages I decided to take you back to the year 1968 for this edition of A Second Glance.

1968 seemed to be a year filled with symbolic events. America soared to new heights with men orbiting the moon in Apollo 8 and the 747 jumbo jet soaring into the sky. The year also brought on tragedies such as the assassinations of the beloved Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert F. Kennedy.

As the country was advancing with new technologies and trying to overcome these tragedies, our own SUNY ESF was trying to make itself seen among the changing world. Today, every Stumpie has seen one of their colleagues walking backwards as they ushered a group of interested students around during a tour.

Although this program seems like a necessary

Horoscope Zac Alger Aries: You will be surrounded by an aura of well-being and openness. Try to isolate yourself, though, as the aura is statically charged and will shock anyone coming within a five meter range.

Taurus: Exhaustion has plagued your entire week. Don’t hesitate to seek a little extra help.

Have your roommate spare a few hours catering to your every need!

Gemini: You will inherit the power of Black Magic. For a list of house-proof spells, visit www.medievaldarkness.edu.

Cancer: Your lucky number is 3 x 10-3π.

Leo: You will experience hallucinations of the apocalypse. This is very good news. The hallucinations will most likely be followed by a stress-free period.

Virgo: Lately, you have had trouble connecting with others. It may be a good idea to express yourself with onomatopoeia instead of full sentences.

10 • THE KNOTHOLE • Student Life & The Environment

part of every college campus, our tour guide program did not air until the year of 1968! According to the Friday April 12, 1968 Knothole edition, within a year this program became a valuable service and guided more than 200 interested students. That was not the only new establishment of 1968: It was also in this year that our very own Illick hall was opened to the public.

Another more surprising fact is that ESF didn’t receive its full name of the State University of New York College of Environmental Science and Forestry until 1972. During the year 1968 ESF was known as The State University of Forestry at Syracuse University.

Obviously, a lot has changed over the years, however our love of barbecue has not! The Stumpies of the late 60’s would partake in many fun activities such as football, bull of the woods, speed chop, barrel bronc, log rolling, and tug of war! And of course, what would be an ESF event without free food!?

Information from http://www.cnn. com/2014/07/31/us/1968-important-events/ Libra: Childhood nostalgia will be the theme of your daydreams. Have fun recreating these memories. Lock yourself in a room with a Lego set and don’t come out until your parents offer you a snack.

Scorpio: This month, your inner animal will call—and you’d better answer. Huddle around each meal with a pack of friends and use only your hands to eat.

Sagittarius: Today is the day you will encounter a level three demon. Do not let this frighten you. Trust me, level three is a joke; demons with this rank are barely supernatural. I would even recommend attacking if you have higher ground.

Capricorn: Your vision is clouded lately. You may need to take off those kaleidoscopic glasses I told you to put on last column.

Aquarius: Remember not to take yourself too seriously. Abandon rationale, forget logic, embrace chaos, etc.

Pisces: Your legs are feeling very limber today.

See if you can jump over really tall things.

Silly Sap

10 Tips to Surviving Sadler John Buono 1)Don’t eat the Chinese food.

-Who doesn’t love Chinese food? I mean, nothing quite beats a delicious dish of deep fried, Americanized, marinated chicken right?

Wrong, especially if it’s from Sadler Dining Hall. It usually sits out all day and literally looks like the mush they give you in a prison cafeteria line. Don’t eat it.

2)If the hot bar food looks like it could spring to life and kill you, odds are it can.

-The hot bar is the line of main course meals that are usually some kind of potato and some kind of meat. This line, similar to the Chinese food, sits out for quite some time. The meats are usually over cooked and gross and sometimes they look like they’ve been sitting so long, that they could grow arms and strangle the innocent freshman waiting in line for his nuggets.

3)DON’T EAT THE CHINESE FOOD

-Yes, it’s worth saying again. I’ll never forget the day one of my best friends, the infamous George Smith, who some of you may know as Babe, received a horrible case of food poisoning from the stuff*. Stay away from it.

Like seriously.

4)The pizza in the back isn’t always the freshest.

-So you think you can be smart and just take the pizza in the back because it came right from out of the oven right? Nope. Wrong again. The lovely pizza chefs that provide us with the deliciousness that is Sbarro’s pizza like to play tricks on you for their own amusement. Often times they will switch the pizzas making the one in front the fresh one, and the one in the back the old one. Watch out!

5)The freshman 15 could be the freshman zero…or 30…the choice is yours.

-So everyone has heard about the infamous freshman 15 before right? Well it doesn’t have to be that way. Sadler actually provides a wide variety of options to suit your eating hab-

its. If you eat crap all the time, then yeah, say hello to Jack and Jill, the two new inhabitants of the left and right side of your stomach. But if you eat right, then you don’t have to worry about it.

6)The eggs aren’t always what they seem...

-If you were thinking of getting that scrumptious ham and cheese omelet you love every morning, think again. All of Sadler’s “liquid eggs” come out of a bag. Literally a bag.

If you want eggs in the morning, ask for fresh fried eggs, stay away from the processed stuff.

7)Explore the kitchen

-Yeah, I keep bashing Sadler for its crappy food, but Sadler does have a lot healthy, and rather good food options to choose from.

Yeah the tub of Chinese food may be gross, but the jump-start line provides fresh stir-fried Chinese every-day. Take advantage of that, and explore the other options Sadler provides.

8)Cookiewiches.

-If you haven’t had one of these yet, shame on you. They are god’s gift to dining hall goers all around campus. Quick tip though, if you are going to be the average student who takes food from the dining halls (especially cookiewiches), only take a couple and leave some for the rest. Don’t be “that guy.”

9)Rare food days

-There are 3 types of days that are absolutely worth spending in Sadler: Chicken wing/ tender day, pasta bar day, and any day there is a sponsored event such as accepted student day. These days Sadler provides REAL food that is actually worth eating. Look out for days like this.

10)If I have to say don’t eat the Chinese food one more time…

-Like honestly, is food poisoning not enough for you? *Disclaimer: It was never proven that food poisoning was obtained from Sadler food, this was used strictly in a satirical manner.* Student Life & The Environment • THE KNOTHOLE • 11

Silly Sap

Primitive primitive Skills: Fire making Liam Donaher So you’ve done it again. You foolishly booked a flight over the northern wilderness and it crashed, killing everybody on board except you (classic plane antics). If you were lucky, it exploded on impact and created a nice little forest fire to keep you warm.

go home”. Don’t listen to him he’s old and stupid. Why compromise? Let’s go big, and go home at the same time. Rescuers can spot a badass fire from miles away.

So let’s begin. Start by cutting down a tree. Perhaps you see a dead fine piece of ash leaning over with a group of

But sometimes, luck isn’t on your side.

You’ll need a wild side instead.

Start by finding a sturdy stick. Use it to break into your local sporting goods store and loot an even sturdier woodsman’s axe. This is essential Image Credit: meghla_akashe_pori_:) on Flickr to your survival. Don’t bother with any sissy hand beeches, and you make your drill or bow drill fire kits way over. It’s a fine specimen, your hands are too burly to but you can go bigger. Still, fidget around with that anycut it down anyway. It could way. Throw away your flint come in handy later. Actuand steel, toss out your ferally, go ahead and cut down rocerium, discard that pesky the beeches as well. In fact, go zippo - you won’t need them crazy and cut down the entire where we’re going. We’re getgrove around you- you’ll need ting out of the forest one way room to work. Might as well or another. cut down every tree within sight just to be safe.

Just remember what your old gramps used to say, “Go big or A tree-chipper comes in handy

12 • THE KNOTHOLE • Student Life & The Environment

here. Reduce your pile of trees to a pile of fine mulch, and let nature take its course. The decomposing bacteria and fungi will create heat during their process of breaking down the biomass, and this heat you will need for survival.

Now you only have to wait for the decomposition-generated heat under the blaring midday sun to spontaneously ignite the pile! You’ve done it! Give your limbs a break after breaking all of those tree limbs, and enjoy your hardearned warmth.

Alternatively, add 25 septillion more trees to the pile and you will have at last amassed an ash mass cache to surpass the gas mass of the sun, creating your own star! To that, you can raise a glass (to focus the new solar rays to ignite a fire to keep you warm).

Survival tip: Always make sure to consult your fire triangle to ensure you have the 3 necessary components of starting a fire!

Silly Sap

Ask-A-Nut Dear Nut,

ESF is great, but being in Syracuse for months at a time can get a bit old, especially during the winter. I think that I want to try studying abroad at some point, but the problem is that every study abroad trip I can find costs thousands of dollars, and school is already very expensive. What are some good ways to pay for a trip, and then save money once I’m in the foreign country?

Sincerely, Wandering Over Really Large Distances

Dear WORLD,

Lucky for you, I’ve been to Canada a handful of times in my life, so I know quite a bit about studying in a foreign country. As far as paying for the trip goes, there are a couple of things that you can do. There are lots of scholarships available for students looking to travel abroad, but I’d stay away from those. Scholarships are for nerds. Don’t bother trying to sell fundraising items either, because fundraising involves hard work and interactions with others. Who has time for that? Instead, you should start off by flat out asking your close friends and family for money (make sure to use those puppy dog eyes). They’ll usually feel guilty enough to give you some and totally won’t resent you for it. Once you’ve been loaned money by the ones closest to you, spend it all on lottery tickets. You’re bound to win at some point if you buy enough of them, and your trip will be paid for easily.

Image Credit: Robert Benner on Flickr

Now let’s talk about saving money on the trip itself. Your biggest expense right off the bat is going to be the plane ticket. So instead of flying, walk to your destination (if you have to cross an ocean or something, just build a raft). You might have to leave for your destination a few months ahead of schedule, but you’ll be in great shape once you get there and you’ll save a couple hundred bucks in the process. Another big expense is usually food, so try to live off of the wild flora and fauna for the duration of your trip. There’s always the risk of eating something poisonous, but you should be fine as long as you have a field guide or two.

My final piece of advice is that if you REALLY want to save money, you could just look up pictures of foreign countries on your laptop. You would get all the pretty scenery with none of the hassle and expense! Happy travels!

-Nut

Please Note: The question above is not a real question asked by an ESF student. The views/opinions expressed in the Ask a Nut column are not representative of the Knothole staff. It is meant to be entirely satirical, ridiculous and nonsensical.

Student Life & The Environment • THE KNOTHOLE • 13

Silly Sap

Weird Creature Spotlight Stephen Scaduto

size of an orange, Homo naledi shares one very important trait with modern humans: they disposed of their dead via burial. The researchers knew this because the bones found showed no signs of be-

Today in Weird Creature Spotlight, we’re delving into pop culture and meeting a “new” member of our human family tree. While he isn’t quite as weird looking as some of our past featured creatures, it isn’t every day that a new hominin species is discovered. And so, for the first time, Weird Creature Spotlight will dive into the past to meet our long lost relative, Homo naledi.

Homo naledi was actually found in a South African cave 2 years ago by cavers, but the papers announcing its’ discovery weren’t published until September 10th of this year by a team led by Dr. Lee R. Berger. Amazingly, the site had the largest hominin fossil sample of Image Credit: nbcnews.com any site ever found in Africa, and was among the largest ing bitten/scratched by other ever found in the entire world, animals, and were not accontaining over 1,550 bones. companied by bones from any Because nature has a sense other animals. Even a relaof humor, this enormous site tively small brained hominin could only be accessed by like Homo naledi wouldn’t be climbing through a 7 inch wide dumb enough to wander into crack in the cave wall. a small cave en mass and die.

Homo naledi’s primiTherefore, the only plausible tive traits, such as their giexplanation is that Homo ant thumbs used for climbing naledi buried their dead. trees, indicate that the spePreviously, scientists thought cies originated over 2 million that burial was exclusive to years ago. Although they only more modern humanoid spereached an average size of 5 cies, such as us Homo sapiens ft, 100 lbs and had a brain the and Neanderthals engaged in

14 • THE KNOTHOLE • Student Life & The Environment

this practice, but it appears that Homo naledi has turned the tables (or whatever it was that they ate dinner at 2 million years ago) on that way of thinking.

So we found another human ancestor, great.

We’ve already found so many of them, who cares about one more obscure great uncle in the human family tree?

First of all, reconstructing our ancestors facial features leads to some pretty goofy looking pictures (Homo naledi looks like he just smelled a fart), but there are actually less comical reasons to care about our evolutionary history. Each human ancestor that we discover reminds us that we evolved just like any other species, and that us Homo sapiens aren’t the only ones who figured out how to bury our dead and use tools. This illustrates that we aren’t special snowflakes, and seeing ancestors that have come and gone reminds us that the same could happen to us if we aren’t careful.

Source: Strange New Kin by Rachel Larimore, Slate.com

Small Twigs (continued)

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how far I had come. Then I glanced upward and realized I still had a good two miles to go. “I didn’t wake up at 5:30am to turn around now,” I thought, and my legs carried me along.

There were plenty of creatures along the way. Tiny little pikas, with their cute little hamster-like bodies and big mouse ears, more marmots than I could count and songbirds fluttering around. The wind had picked up over time, but I wasn’t concerned. Mt. Yale was soon to be mine.

I was going up even more switchbacks (the mountain was pretty much all switchbacks), but at this point I was nearing 14,000 feet in elevation. This point in elevation meant coldness and low oxygen. I, unfortunately, was not “über” prepared like my mother. I had worn a long sleeve shirt, topped with a vintage gray and black flannel. My hat kept blowing away in the wind, and my legs were

The Knothole is a monthly SUNY-ESF publication composed by the student body. It is rooted in the spirit of ESF, and branches out into the broader community to inform and inspire. We hope to provide an eclectic mix of art and articles which spark discussion, inspire creativity, and increase awareness

Advisor Karen Moore bare from the knee down. I looked like a complete amateur to the other hikers who were all dressed in windbreakers, hats, gloves, boots, and trekking poles. With less than a thousand feet to ascend, there was no way I was going to let a little cold stop me.

My legs were aching and I was starting to get dizzy. At this point the wind was knocking me all over the place. I was flopping every which way, holding onto my hat and scrambling up the rocks.

Cairn’s led the way to the very top of the mountain. I tucked my hands into my flannel and looked up to the top. Only fifty feet left.

When I finally scrambled over the last rock. A sense of achievement overcame me. I stood up. There was a cloud floating towards me. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to be completely consumed and then spit back out again. It was as if the Earth was congratulating me for triumph.

The mountains rolled across the land before me, their tops bare after the tree-line. Colors of dark and light greens speckled with white snow colored my world. When you see a scene like this unfold before you, you carry that image with you forever.

There were plenty of times during that hike where I felt as though I wouldn’t make it.

Although I had thought about quitting, I forced myself to keep putting one foot forward.

This technique has proven to be useful in anything I do.

Don’t ever give up, even when it’s hard. Even when you have to do it alone, and you think you’ll never make it. It may take time, but you’ll get there.

Anything worth doing in life is going to include a climb, so hang in there and take it one step at a time.

“The best view comes after the hardest climb.”

— Unknown

Student Life & The Environment • THE KNOTHOLE • 15

On Saturday October 17th and Sunday October 18th, The Knothole is hosting their first annual Wiffle Ball Tournament on ESF's Quad. All proceeds will be going to a local charity in need of food, socks, and toiletries etc.

Saturday October 17th: 16 teams will play in 4 divisions.

FOOD WILL BE SERVED. LUG YOUR MUG (suggested donation $1) Sunday October 18th: 4 winning teams from the 4 divisions will play for the championship.

1st Place Prize: Pizza Party for the Team! (3 Pizzas, a Side, Dessert) 2nd Place Prize: Mini Pizza Party for the Team! (2 Pizzas, Dessert) 3rd & 4th Place Prizes: Cookie Cake(s) for the Team!

Go to: wiffleball2015.weebly.com to sign your team up!

Let’s Play Ball ESF!

16 • THE KNOTHOLE • Student Life & The Environment