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STAFF Vol. 32 No. 1 Š Copyright 2013 Publishers Rachayle Deutsch Suzi Bollag
TABLE OF CONTENTS SPOTLIGHT ..................................................................................12
Sales Representatives Shani Schwebel Miriam Goldbrenner Barbara Gold Pearl Silber
EPICUREAN EXCURSIONS WITH RACHEL: RESERVE CUT AT THE SETAI ................................................40
Contributing Editors Rachel Rosenberg Shuly Rubel
CHRONICLES OF A THERAPIST: SIBLING RIVALRY....................................................................56
Beauty Editor
FROM SOUP TO NUTS THE NEW PERSIAN KITCHEN ..............................................78 COMPUTERS ONE ON ONE: UPGRADING TO A NEW PHONE ..........................................96
Naomi Scheier
Psychotherapists Tova Bollag, LCSW Jennifer Mann, LMSW
Cover Art: Brocha Teichman www.brochateichman.com
NOT THE MET: EXPLORING THE SMALLER MUSEUMS OF MANHATTAN....................................................................102 GRIN AND BARE IT....................................................................112
DIRECTORY OF ADVERTISERS ................................................128
(917) 562-1819 ESRA Magazine LLC is published monthly and distributed FREE to area residents. No artwork or other material in this book may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher. The adver tiser agrees to hold harmless the publisher for publication of submitted copy. ESRA will not be responsible for typographical errors. We reserve the right to refuse adver tising or editorial copy that we feel does not fit our policy. Adver tising claims are not the responsibility of ESRA. Offices are located at 1075 East 21 Street, Brooklyn, NY 11210. (718) 692-2131. EsraMagazineOnline.com
M A G A Z I N E 8
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Dart Design | 845.782.6558
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There are certain niceties that we do that aren’t especially nice, simply common courtesy. They are usually done automatically and barely noted and acknowledged by the donor or recipient. It is only when they are not performed that their absence is felt and our feathers become ruffled. Take, for example, the exchange that regularly occurs when we enter a building or store behind another person. In a typical scenario a person entering a shop, almost without thinking, will glance to see if there is someone behind him. If there is, as he passes through the doorway, he will hold the door open and not release it until the next fellow takes its hold. This little scene is accompanied by a “thank you” uttered by
12
person number two. The exchange probably occurs thousands of times every day and is barely noted by either party. Unless. Unless person number one accidentally or deliberately does not check if someone is behind him and lets the door close when the next party is coming through. Hey. Not nice. Or another disorienting encounter could be that person number one holds the door open and person number two slides right in without a smile or hint of appreciation and thanks. Also not nice. As I said, these common exchanges happen all the time. However, we rarely think about them until someone breaks the rules. I’ve had doors close in my face as the person
DECEMBER 2013, Esra | EsraMagazineOnline.com
Continued on page 14
PARIS FLASH
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48” Bedroom Sets for $2100 Continued from page 12 in front of me - oblivious to my presence, or perhaps simply very rude - lets the door close right after she cleared the entranceway. Ouch! I’ve also politely held the door open for people behind me, sometimes even when they were a distance away and holding the door open was entirely unnecessary, and watched them slip right through with nary a nod. You, come back here! I admit, once or twice - whether distracted 14
or in a rush - I cleared a door frame and released the door without checking to see if someone was behind me. When, a moment later, I noticed there was a body there, and a very unhappy one at that, I immediately turned to say “Oh I’m so sorry!” and all was forgiven. There is a silent but clear set of guidelines about proper interaction between adults in a civilized world which most of us follow, Continued on page 124
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WINTER SALE BEGINS • Simcha, Shabbos and Everyday • Wool Coats and Down Jackets - On Sale! 18
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DECEMBER 2013, Esra | EsraMagazineOnline.com
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DECEMBER 2013, Esra | EsraMagazineOnline.com
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DECEMBER 2013, Esra | EsraMagazineOnline.com
SALE Sun • Mon • Tues & Thurs. 11-6 Wed 1-8 • Fri 11-3
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DECEMBER 2013, Esra | EsraMagazineOnline.com
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Reserve Cut at the Setai By: Rachel Rosenberg
W
hen dining or vacationing for winter break, it is important to surround yourself with fellow diners or vacationers who have interests in line with yours. So when trying the much discussed Reserve Cut at the Setai Wall Street, I made sure my table of seven included my favorite bon vivants, all who enjoy good food and wine as much I do. And enjoy we did. Upon entering Reserve Cut, I wonder if the recession had ended. The restaurant which seats over 250 people was packed with people waiting for tables. I loved the décor, including a glass hallway filled with wines. The restaurant is divided into different rooms, one of which had comfortable looking couches and a few large screen TVs playing sports events. I could go on about the fabulous ambiance and vibe but there would be no room left to discuss the food! We tried almost everything on the menu, other than the sushi. Is every kosher restaurant required to carry sushi? My favorite of the appetizers was the Wagyu Beef Carpaccio. The carpaccio itself was well seasoned and made of excellent quality beef. What made my bite ideal was its accompaniment of crunchy fried mushrooms and a tartly dressed watercress salad. The Veal Osso Buco Tortellini were incredibly thin, soft pasta shells filled with veal. I could have eaten a large bowl as my entrée instead of the few bites I sampled. The Wagyu Beef sliders were not special and overcooked and dry. The Wagyu Angus Ribs, while naturally fatty, were marinated in a flavorful Asian sauce and
40
were enjoyed by everyone at the table. The Lamb Merguez with couscous and Veal Sweetbreads with different root vegetables were both under seasoned but otherwise okay. The crisp white wine we had with our appetizers was brought to the table minutes after being ordered and was served at the perfect temperature. Our waiter, Francesco, was very attentive and advised us that due to a large number of tables being seated at once, our appetizers might take time, and offered us the option of bringing them as they were ready instead of all at once. We appreciated the advice and there was always food on the table instead of a hungry wait. For my entrée I had the duck which was served two ways. I devoured the piece on the bone which had a fruit glazed crispy skin. The second fileted piece was a bit too thick and dry. The Wagyu Beef Short Ribs were sweet and tangy and melted in my mouth just like short ribs should and were not overly heavy. It was obvious when tasting the Cote de Boeuf, prime rib steak that this restaurant is owned by the son of an expert butcher. This man knows his beef and while the steaks are pricey, they’re worth the splurge. The desserts are made in house by Reserve Cut’s executive pastry chef and the extra effort shows. We ordered all seven desserts on the menu and they were all polished off quickly. The first to go and favorite was the peanut butter mouse which was cool and creamy and you could taste the peanuts. The sesame sundae was served in a martini glass and was a playful and elegant way of presenting a classic ice cream sundae. We left the restaurant after 11pm on a Thursday night and the place was still bustling with diners luxuriating in the evening. The prices are extremely high so save this one for a special occasion or a business dinner on the boss. My rating: 4 stars ★★★★★✩ Rachel Rosenberg, a practicing attorney, is known amongst friends and family as an accomplished chef and daring foodie with a critical eye and discerning palate. She lives in Woodmere with her husband and three sons.
DECEMBER 2013, Esra | EsraMagazineOnline.com
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WINTER SALE 25% OFF
Evening has never been this Elegant DESIGNER WEAR AND CUSTOM COUTURE COLLECTIONS 42
Engagement • Sheva Brachos • Shabbos • Wedding (718) 851-1201 1342-51ST ST. • SUN - THURS 11-6 DECEMBER 2013, Esra |• EsraMagazineOnline.com Sizes 0-26 • FOR MOTHER OF THE BRIDE APPT CALL 917-586-0507
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DECEMBER 2013, Esra | EsraMagazineOnline.com
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nothing sets your table off like…
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DECEMBER 2013, Esra | EsraMagazineOnline.com
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Chronicles Of A Therapist: Sibling Rivalry PART 1 By Tova Bollag, LMSW
Winter vacation is a wonderful time to further connect with your children and engage in relaxing, fun-filled family activities. While the free time has the potential for some great joyous, family experiences, all the family bonding coupled with a lack of structure can sometimes lend itself to family conflict and sibling rivalry. Conflict between siblings is very common and can be upsetting for parents to observe. A household that's full of conflict is stressful for everyone, yet often it's hard to know how to stop the quarreling and whether or not one should intervene. Below you will find important information regarding the roots of sibling rivalry and some healthy parental reactions to it. Why Kids Fight Most siblings experience some degree of jealousy or competition. Each one of your children has a unique set of evolving emotional and physical needs that must be met. It’s only natural for children’s varying needs and identities to affect how they relate to one another. Jennifer Shroff-Pendley, PhD, a noted lecturer on the topic of childhood development explains, “toddlers are naturally protective of their toys and belongings, and are learning to assert their will, which they’ll do at every turn. So if a baby brother or sister picks up the toddler’s toy, the older child may react aggressively. School-age kids often have a strong concept of fairness and equality, so they might not understand why siblings of other ages are 56
treated differently. Teenagers, on the other hand, are developing a sense of individuality and independence, and might resent helping with household responsibilities, taking care of younger siblings, or even having to spend time together as a family.” It’s also important to bear in mind that sometimes one of your children may have a special set of needs due to an illness, a learning challenge or an emotional issue that may require more parental time. Siblings of a special needs child may sense this disparity and act out in order to gain additional parental attention. As a parent, it’s your duty to impart to your children that each one is an individual possessing their own special set of needs. Just as you wouldn’t buy a new pair of shoes for all members of the family when only the youngest outgrew hers, so too you should not equally measure how much time you spend fulfilling the emotion needs of each of your children. When you equally ration off every piece of cake that you slice for your children at the Shabbos morning breakfast table or carefully measure every cup of juice you pour to the top line of the cup you are filling, you are in essence promoting jealousy amongst your children. Rather, let your family motto be “In our family, everyone gets what THEY need.” What to Do When Your Kids Begin to Fight • As a general rule, whenever possible try not to get involved! If you are not in the presence of your children when they begin to argue, do not enter the room or attempt to intervene. It’s preferable to give your children the space they need and allow them to resolve the conflict on their own. If you fear that someone may get physically hurt, obviously you must intercede. However, if you always intervene, your children may start expecting your help and await your rescue rather than learning to work out their problems independently. Although at times it may be difficult for a parent to hear their Continued on page 120
DECEMBER 2013, Esra | EsraMagazineOnline.com
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From Soup to Nuts: The New Persian Kitchen How about discovering new cuisine ideas for a winter project? In her latest cookbook, The New Persian Kitchen, (Ten Speed Press) Chef Louisa Shafia draws on her Iranian heritage to create a fresh, bright, beautiful cuisine that blends Old World Persian recipes with contemporary farm to table cooking. Side by side with timehonored Persian ingredients like pomegranates, pistachios, and saffron, Shafia weaves untraditional foods like amaranth, quinoa, and strawberries into Persian preparations with delightful results. This evocative book demystifies unfamiliar ingredients like rosewater, dried limes, sumac and offers helpful substitutions. The recipes range from starters to sweets and employ simple techniques, making this ancient cuisine accessible to the home cook. Some of the recipes featured in The New Persian Kitchen are: HERB FRITTATA WITH WALNUTS AND ROSE PETALS SERVES
6
3 tablespoons grapeseed oil 1 ⁄2 cup finely ground walnuts 2 teaspoons crushed dried rose petals or dried whole rosebuds pulled apart and stems removed 2 cloves garlic, minced About 2 cups loosely packed fresh flat-leaf parsley, finely chopped About 2 cups loosely packed fresh cilantro, finely chopped 1 bunch scallions, green and white parts, finely chopped Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper 7 eggs, whisked Preheat the oven to 350°F.
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Heat an 8- to 10-inch ovenproof skillet over medium heat. Add the oil, followed by the walnuts, rose petals, and garlic and cook for a few minutes until the ingredients start to release their fragrance. Add the herbs and scallions and cook for about 2 minutes, until wilted. Turn off the heat and season with salt and pepper. Let the pan cool for a few minutes, then gently stir in the eggs. Transfer the skillet to the oven and bake for 15 minutes, until the center of the frittata springs back when lightly pressed. To unmold, loosen the edge with a butter knife and invert onto a serving platter. Serve hot or cold. LAMB KEBABS IN POMEGRANATEWALNUT MARINADE SERVES 6 2 pounds lamb tenderloin or boneless shank or neck, cut into 1 1⁄2-inch chunks 1 cup walnuts 3 ⁄4 cup pomegranate molasses 2 cloves garlic, crushed 2 tablespoons grapeseed oil 1 cup loosely packed fresh flat-leaf parsley, plus extra chopped for garnish Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper Place the meat in a large casserole dish. In a food processor, grind the walnuts, pomegranate molasses, garlic, and olive oil into a puree. Add the parsley and pulse into small bits. Pour the marinade over the meat and toss well. Cover and refrigerate overnight. If using wooden or bamboo skewers, soak them in salty water for a couple of hours before grilling. Thread 3 or 4 pieces of meat onto each skewer 1⁄4 inch apart, leaving 2 inches of space at the end. Discard the
DECEMBER 2013, Esra | EsraMagazineOnline.com
marinade. Brush or wipe extra marinade from the skewers. Leave the meat out while you heat the grill so it can come up to room temperature (no more than 45 minutes total). Prepare a hot grill. Lightly oil the grill and grill the kebabs for 6 to 8 minutes, turning occasionally. When done, the meat should be slightly charred on the outside and very pink on the inside. Transfer to a serving platter and season with salt and pepper. Garnish with parsley and serve. Vegetarian Option Replace the lamb with 2 pounds tempeh, cubed; 2 pounds vegetables, such as zucchini, red onions, and mushrooms, cubed; or a combination of tempeh and vegetables. Marinate overnight according to the recipe. SEARED CHICKEN WITH PEACHES SERVES 6
Simmer, partially covered, for 30 minutes; then uncover and simmer for 10 minutes to thicken. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Pull out the chicken pieces with tongs and cut the boneless pieces in half or in thirds. Put a few pieces of chicken on each plate along with several peach slices and plenty of sauce. Vegetarian Option Substitute tempeh or firm tofu for the chicken. If using tofu, drain the tofu and press it under a heavy weight for 1 hour, in order to press out as much water as possible. Before cooking, cut the tofu into slabs 1 inch thick, or cut the tempeh in half to form 2 squares. You may need to use a little more oil for searing the tempeh or tofu. Before serving, cut the tempeh or tofu into thirds. NO-BAKE PERSIMMON AND GOAT CHEESE CHEESECAKE MAKES ONE 10-INCH CAKE 1
⁄2 cup heavy cream 11⁄2 cups pistachios, toasted 1 cup crushed graham crackers 3 ⁄4 cup plus 3 tablespoons unrefined coconut oil, melted and cooled 1 ⁄2 teaspoon ground cinnamon 11⁄2 teaspoons ground cardamom 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons organic cane sugar Sea salt 5 very ripe hachiya persimmons 1 pound fresh goat cheese, at room temperature, crumbled 1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lime juice
2 pounds skinless chicken legs or breasts Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper 5 tablespoons grapeseed oil 1 yellow onion, diced 1 pound ripe peaches, peeled and sliced into 1-inch wedges 1 ⁄2 teaspoon ground turmeric 1 ⁄2 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1 ⁄2 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice 2 teaspoons grated lemon zest 1 ⁄2 teaspoon saffron, ground and steeped in 1 tablespoon hot water 2 cups water, simmering Season the chicken with salt and pepper. Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat and add 3 tablespoons of the oil to the pan. Add the chicken and sear 6 to 7 minutes per side, until well browned, then transfer to a plate. In the same skillet, cook the onion over medium-high heat in the remaining 2 tablespoons oil for about 10 minutes, just until they start to brown. Add the peaches, turmeric, cinnamon, lemon juice, lemon zest, saffron, and water. Bring to a boil, then lower the heat and return the chicken to the pan.
Lightly oil a 10-inch springform pan with coconut oil. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, whip the cream into stiff peaks. Transfer to a small bowl and set aside in the refrigerator. Replace the mixer bowl without washing. In a food processor, combine the pistachios and graham crackers with 3 tablespoons of the coconut oil, the cinnamon, the cardamom, and 2 tablespoons of the sugar. Add a pinch Continued on page 102
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Computers One on One Upgrading To A New Phone
by Shuly Rubel
It was time for me to upgrade to a new phone. The reason why I was so excited about getting this new upgrade to the iPhone 5S is the new fingerprint password. I always forget my passwords so I thought the fingerprint feature would be especially great for me. The most important key in upgrading to a new phone is not to lose your old contacts. Always store your contacts in iCloud so that you can restore them back onto your new phone. But what is this relatively new buzzword, iCloud? iCloud is free storage space from Apple, which you can use to safely store different types of media (and non-media) files online. For digital music, iCloud is especially useful. If you have an iTunes music library you will be able to access your collection from several locations - this includes other computers and portable Apple devices like the iPhone, iPad, iPod Touch, etc. Utilizing iCloud there is no more worrying that your important files will be lost when your computer crashes. Make sure to backup your files to iCloud. You can upload files to this storage space as a backup copy of content from your hard drive, as additional space to supplement your hard drive, or just to make those files available online from other computers. What Can you store in iCloud? • Photos • Apps • Contacts, Calender, and Mail • iBooks • Documents • Backups of your data How Much Free Storage Space Do you get? You get 5GB storage space with a basic account.
96
If you want more you can purchase it: • 10 GB more (15 GB total) for $20 per year • 20 GB more (25 GB total) for $40 per year • 50 GB more (55 GB total) for $100 per year What do you need to get your Digital Music Library in iCloud? In order to use the iCloud service with the focus on music, you will need the following: • iTunes software version 10.3.1 or higher • An Apple ID to assign to the iCloud service - you can either use your existing one that is used to purchase music or create a new one specifically for iCloud. • If you have an Apple device, make sure it is running iOS version 5 or higher. What System Requirements do you Need to Sync Other File Types to iCloud? lf you want to synchronize more than just music between iCloud and any other Apple devices, use this short checklist to verify you meet the requirements: • If you are a PC user, then you need to download and install the iCloud Control Panel to access the service in Windows. You will need to be running Windows 7 or at least Vista Service Pack 2. • If you have an Apple device, then it needs to be running iOS version 5 or higher. How do you store your contacts to iCloud? • Choose settings from your iphone. Go to iCloud • On the newlyopened slide, you will find what kind of data can be saved to the iCloud service. Items include Mail, Calendars, Reminders, Notes, etc. Slide the Contacts-field button to the right to turn on the contact backup service • You might see a prompt, asking if you choose to Merge your iPhone contacts with the ones you already have on the iCloud. If this is
DECEMBER 2013, Esra | EsraMagazineOnline.com
Continued on page 100
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Continued from page 96 the first time you’ve accessed the iCloud, this message will not appear. If you previously backed up your iPhone via iTunes on your PC, this message will appear. Just click “Merge.” • Next, wait until the iCloud service is turned on for your iPhone contacts. • Finally, go back to the Contacts app on your iPhone. Refresh your contact list by clicking on the circular arrow in the top left corner. Hope these steps will help you with saving your contacts. Enjoy your new phone. Logging off, Shuly Rubel Computers One on One E
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each institution. Traveling exhibitions highlighted are representative of a museum's typical shows. This guide is essential for those looking to enjoy more than just one of New York City's incredible museums. Some museums you may not know about and would like to visit this winter include: • The American Numismatic Society and The Federal Bank of New York • The Anne Frank Center USA • Center For Architecture • Center For Jewish History • Children's Museum of Manhattan • Children's Museum of the Art • Herbert and Eileen Bernard Museum of Judaica • The Jewish Museum • Museum at Eldridge Street • Museum Of Jewish Heritage: A Living Memorial To The Holocaust • New York City Fire Museum • 9 /11 Tribute Center New York Museums - Not Just The Met!
E NOT THE MET Exploring the Smaller Museums of Manhattan By Janel Halpern and Harvey Appelbaum (Pelican)
Continued from page 79 of salt and pulse until the mixture clumps easily. Transfer to the springform pan and spread evenly over the bottom. Press down with the bottom of a juice glass to pack it down evenly. Scoop the flesh from the persimmons and puree in a blender until smooth. Set aside 1⁄2 cup of the puree, and store the rest in the refrigerator. Combine the goat cheese, the remaining 3⁄4 cup coconut oil, and the remaining 1 cup sugar in the mixer fitted with the whisk attachment and beat for 2 to 3 minutes, until smooth. Fold in the 1⁄2 cup persimmon puree, the lime juice, and a pinch of salt. Fold in the whipped cream. Pour the mixture into the springform pan and smooth the top. Chill in the refrigerator for at least 4 hours, until firm. To serve, remove the pan sides and cut the cheesecake into wedges. Garnish each serving with a generous spoonful of the persimmon puree. The cheesecake will keep in the refrigerator for up to 4 days.
New York City is famous for its museums, notably the Museum of Modern Art, the Guggenheim, and, of course, the Metropolitan Museum of Art. However, dozens of lesserknown museums dot the city. This volume includes over seventy of those museums and is filled with the riches, beauty, and intellectual stimulation found at each institution. From the AIA Center for Architecture to the Ukrainian Museum, visitors to and natives of New York will delight in these unique gems. Each teaser in Not The Met features photographs of the interior, exterior, and art of the museum. Helpful tips - including contact information and directions - are included. This snapshot of the authors' experiences gives museum-goers the feel and essence of 102 DECEMBER 2013, Esra | EsraMagazineOnline.com
E
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GRIN AND BARE IT I am so glad I finally learned how to ___________________________. My next challenge is to_____________________________. Shut my mouth.........keep it shut. B.D. Remove the wax coating from apples so now I can make caramel apples without the caramel sliding off!!! (Dip the apple in boiling water briefly, dry off. Proceed.) That's enough for now! B.C. Learned how to..... “cut and paste emails” .....my next challenge.... “To send those emails”....:) B.G. Bake challah!!! My next challenge is to make it edible!!!! D.K. I am so glad I finally learned how to use Google Hangout. My next challenge is to hold staff meetings online. D.H. I'm so glad I finally learned how to make a plattentorte. My next project is to find a diet that works! L.E. Ski… and sky dive!
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painting! (I’m not kidding! I’m really trying to do both!) S.W. I am so glad I finally learned how to ski double blacks. My next challenge is to learn how to water ski. D.W. I am glad I learned how to scuba dive over the last few months. I hope to use it when we go on vacation. My next challenge is to get my doctorate. S.W. I finally learned how to use a smart phone. My next challenge is to take more family photos. S.F. So glad I learned how to remove rust stains. Next I tackle the discolored Tupperware! P.M. I am so glad I conquered my fear of traveling. Now I want to go everywhere! F.A. There are so many things that were on my “learn how to” list, such as ski, horseback-ride, lose a million pounds, etc. Instead I learned how to appreciate all the blessings and skills I do have and not always long for what is out of reach. G.O. Learned how to drive. Finally! Next I must get the courage to get on a highway… E.A. I am glad I finally learned how to use my iPad. My next challenge is to use email. T.S
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Continued from page 56 children argue, parents must remember that conflict resolution is a crucial life-long social skill that can only be learned in the presence of conflict. • If you’re concerned by the language or name-calling that is used during your children’s fights, it’s recommended that you calmly help coach them through what they’re feeling by modeling the usage of appropriate language and tone in order to give a “voice” to your child’s feeling. Note that coaching does not mean intervening and separating your children from one another. Even when getting involved try to resolve problems together with your kids, not for them. • Sometimes it may be necessary to physically separate your children until they’re calm. Parents are often tempted to analyze the disagreement in the heat of the moment; however doing so can often provoke the children’s anger levels. Sometimes it’s best just to give your children some individual space for a little while and wait until their emotions dissipate before talking with them. When possible you may want to try and encourage your children to compromise or set up a “winwin” situation so that each child gains something from the recommended solution. For example, when two children both want the same toy, perhaps there’s a game they could play together instead. • When intervening in your children’s squabbles try to hear from all parties involved and repeat back to the children what each child’s perspective is. Very often, just having a parent reiterate their point of view can dissipate an argument between siblings. Try to point out that each party involved is usually partially right and partially wrong. Don’t try to figure out who is to blame, usually all those involved are partially responsible. Generally speaking, if you did not witness the incident, try to steer clear of doling out punishments. As the parent, you must handle each reported negative behavior accordingly, regardless of 120
who may have started the argument. There should always be a consequence for physically aggressive behavior. With regard to physical violence, it is crucial that you impart the message to your children that violence and aggression should never be allowed. You must model acceptable behaviors for your children such as “using their words” or squeezing a pillow so they can have alternatives to physical aggression. (It is important to note, when talking to your children about this topic, you may want to add, “physical violence is never allowed unless you are protecting yourself from a someone who intentionally tries to violate your body or physically harm you.”) As children learn to effectively and appropriately cope with disputes, they also learn important skills that will serve them for life; such as how to value another person’s perspective, how to compromise and negotiate, and how to control aggressive impulses. As challenging as chartering the waters of sibling rivalry amongst your children is, remember, one day, your future son or daughter-in-law with thank you for all your efforts. In my next segment, I will discuss some practical steps you can take in order to help your children get along and prevent sibling rivalry from perpetuating in your home. Tova Bollag is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker working primarily with children and young adults. Her office is located in Woodmere, Long Island. For further information, please contact her at: 917-282-0453 or tovabollag@aol.com.
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from point A to point B by vehicle rather than by foot, there are limitations that we drivers regularly confront when behind the wheel which put us in a position of power and obligation. Here too, conscientious drivers must possess a clear set of guidelines about proper interaction between reasonable adults in a civilized world. This is where the “wave” comes in. When driving down a busy street, with much traffic or difficult access, a good driver will automatically assess and note the position of other cars on the road. There might be a vehicle having difficulty attempting to merge or turn or simply trying to leave a parking lot along our way. Or it can even be a wary pedestrian hesitant about getting across a crowded walkway. The proper response is to give them the “wave” and allow them access, egress or simply space to maneuver. That slight movement of hand is not a big deal. You wave them in or through, they wave back an appreciative thanks and you both move on. Unless. Unless you deliberately ignore the driver trying desperately to make headway or, worse, don’t even notice his predicament and continue on your way. And, of course, on the flip side. If you give someone the wave and do them that little good deed, you expect at least a nod of recognition, perhaps even an appreciative wave back. Again this exchange does not deserve a gold medal or even a word of conversation. It is simply routine common courtesy we perform and should expect and only take note when it is blaringly absent. In a crowded neighborhood, during a busy season when tension is high and tempers are short, the door holding and casual wave through can make all the difference in the mood of the day. In my neighborhood, this season, schools, offices and institutions offer varying vacation weeks off and the traffic both vehicular and human - is always more manageable. Wherever you are headed and whatever winter project you may have taken on this month, don’t forget to be courteous to those around you. To all, shalom.
Continued from page 14 almost subconsciously While these are hardly dramatic and significant episodes in our lives and daily routines, they frequently dot our day and when not played out the way we expect, are unsettling. There is another similar situation which can be quite frustrating and it has to do with driving. Of course there are dozens of disturbing driving habits and styles we encounter every day when on the road, but the situation I am referring to has to do with the ‘“wave.” Driving, these days, more than ever, requires a tremendous amount of responsibility. We have to observe speed limits and road signs, law enforcers and weather conditions. We have to ignore phone calls and texts, be attentive but not overly caught up with our passengers as well as people on the street. And we have to be aware and considerate of other drivers on the road. While it is usually more pleasant to get 124 DECEMBER 2013, Esra | EsraMagazineOnline.com
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DIRECTORY OF ADVERTISERS ALTERATIONS/DRESSMAKER
Tznius Princess. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22
Finders Keepers Antiques & Lighting . . . . . . 86
Emma's Tailoring . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117
White Label. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116
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CATERERS/CATERING HALLS
Loeffler . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39
Simply Gorgeous . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113
Masores Simcha Hall . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
Regal Furniture . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76
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CHILDREN'S AND PRE-TEEN CLOTHING
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Babylicious . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93
S & S Fine Furniture Discounters . . . . . 59
Piccolino . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104
The Boys Club . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89
Stern's Furniture . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25
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Europe on 12th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113
Style N Décor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
Augenbraun's Bridal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88
Judy's Nook . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121
Unique Interior Furniture. . . . . . . . . . . . 68
Belle of the Ball . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 124
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Lavish Layette. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111
Expert Furniture Repair . . . . . . . . . . . . 86
Bridal Direct . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77
Layette4Less . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30
Furniture Repair by Moshe Weiser . . . . 29
Bridal Elegance. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99
Le Bambini . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117
HOME ACCESSORIES/GIFTS
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Little Loungers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33
Bow Tied. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109
Chanie Greenzweig Headpieces . . . . . 38
Little Women. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105
Breezy's . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111
Custom Bridal. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
LullaBebe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72
Continental Tablesettings . . . . . . . . . . . 46
Dassy's Bridal. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108
Mon Petit . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100
Eastside China . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
Elegant Reflections. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125
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Impressions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65
Emerly's Bridal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53
Star Spangled Carousel . . . . . . . . . . . . 44
The Peppermill . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80
Exquisite Gowns. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71
Sweet Things . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125
Royalty Tableware. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112
Finds & Co. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
Teen Boutique. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18
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Vintage Gifts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45
The Flower Girl's Collection . . . . . . . . . 28
Trendy Tots . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57
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Gown Galaxy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
Tuesday's . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75
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Halioua Bridals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121
Computers One on One . . . . . . . . . . . 100
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JaBows . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34
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Kleinfeld . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95
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Elegant Walls . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61
Le Couture du Jour . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92
Optique Elegance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127
Exclusive Doors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97
Lew Imports . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
FABRIC/TRIMMINGS
Friedman Decorators . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97
Miri Bridal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
Sew Creative . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73
Home and Stone . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58
Novella . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10
FAMILY SERVICES
Stern's Custom Interiors . . . . . . . . . . . 61
Pessy Blum's Bridal Salon . . . . . . . . . 118
Shalom Task Force . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54
United Shade Co. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61
Pessy Miller . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64
Thrive Therapeutic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57
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Private Label. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107
FLOORING/TILE
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Raquel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66 & 67
Boro Rug . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122
Invitations by Papermasters . . . . . . . . . 50
Red Carpet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55
Shop At Home Flooring . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
JEWELRY
Sarelli . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
FLORISTS
All That Glitters . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73
Signatures. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31
Blossom . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116
Allegra Fine Jewelry . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115
Simply Gorgeous . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113
Floral Expressions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94
Aqua Jewels . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54
Teal Couture . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118
Once Upon A Rose. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46
Chanie Greenzweig . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38
Teen Bride. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31
FURNITURE /ANTIQUES
Debbie's Diamonds . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 106
Trace of Lace . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103
Dinetc . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122
Empire Jewels . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16
Tresor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111
Eisenberger's Furniture . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
Exclusive Creations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
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Golden Treasures . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82
MATTRESSES
Tip Toes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103
Kaufman's Jewelry . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34
Mattresses for Less . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119
Upper Class Hats . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110
Molly's . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50
MOLD REMOVAL/VENT CLEANING
WOMEN'S APPAREL
Onyx . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62
Apex Mold Removal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
Chic de Paris . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
The Showroom . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98
Dryer Vent Cleaning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
Couture off the Rack . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21
Ultimatime. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 74
PARTY RENTALS
Elegance . . . . . . . . . . . Inside Front Cover
Uniquely Yours . . . . . . Inside Back Cover
All Affairs Party Rental . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30
Expressions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 130
The Yellow Door . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43
PHOTOGRAPHERS
Exquisite . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70
JUDAICA
Devorie Zutler . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110
Fashion Island . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 106
Artscroll Publications . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81
Mendel Meyers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94
Finds & Co. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
Judaica Place . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 106
PRE-SCHOOLS
Furs by Kurt . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 126
Shaimos L'Gnizah. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120
Keshet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44
Gerry Weber Boutique . . . . . . Back Cover
KITCHENS/BATHROOMS
REALTORS
Enterprise Kitchens . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58
Chani (Sharon) Kushner . . . . . . . . . . . . 73
Nagad Kitchens . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 84
STERLING SILVER
Regency Showhouse . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123
E. B. Estate Sterling . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34
LASER HAIR REMOVAL
Empire Sterling . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
byShira . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107
Raymond Sasson Estate Sterling. . . . . 55
Shulamis' Laser Hair Removal . . . . . . . 88
TABLECLOTHS--SALES AND RENTALS
Silk and Sheer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
En Vogue Tables . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119
Supreme Laser . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115
Gitta Steinmetz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48
LIGHTING
Table Tops & More . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88
Bibi Lighting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 101
TILE
Lighting Palace . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60
Home and Stone . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58
Rainbow Lighting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114
WEIGHT CONTROL/EXERCISE
Renaissance Custom Interiors . . . . . . . 85
Be A Loser--Rochelle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38
LINEN
Chaya Stern--Nutrition Spot . . . . . . . . 12
D'Rose Linen . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121
Exercise Girl . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105
Elegant Linen . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20
FITT Over 40. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116
The Linen Closet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
Giti Gamss . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
LINGERIE
Phyllis Lifshitz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109
The Lingerie Shop . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11
WIGS
My Self . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49
Ben Simon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52
MAKEUP/HAIR/SKIN CARE
Esther Aron Wigs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105
Reflections Cosmetics . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48
Kiki Wigs. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
Breezy's . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111
MASSAGE THERAPY
Joseph & Co. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118
Computers One on One . . . . . . . . . . . 100
Mona Flaks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92
Milano . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51
Junee . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35
MATERNITY CLOTHING
Pery Wigs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63
Junee Jr. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35
Future Mom . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57
Yaffa . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87
Lavish Layette. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111
Hindy's Maternity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
WOMEN'S ACCESSORIES/HOSIERY
Legaacy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72
Ladies in Waiting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54
Bersel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48
Looking Swell Maternities . . . . . . . . . . 93
Looking Swell Maternities . . . . . . . . . . 93
Double Header . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83
Miri Bridal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
Maternichic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36
Head to Toe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112
Raquel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66 & 67
Mom's Secret . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30
Legaacy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72
Thrive Therapeutic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57
Mylo Dweck Maternity . . . . . . . . . . . . 104
Onyx . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62
Upper Class Hats . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110
Hooked on Fashion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 It's You/Lynda's . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108 Julie's Quality Couture . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82 Junee . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35 Kloz Klozet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109 Lew Imports . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42 Miri . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 Novella . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 Pink Label by Rachel Kairy . . . . . . . . . 90 Raquel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66 & 67 Raymond Sasson Vintage Furs . . . . . . 55 Sew Creative . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73 The Shell Station . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 74 The Teen Boutique . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 Tiffany Knits . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98 A Touch of Class . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 Tov Fashion Couture. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53 Ultra Chic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Unique Boutique. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 69 Walowitz Furs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125 LONG ISLAND/QUEENS ADVERTISERS
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