1. Who is going to take care of your child after you are gone and where will they live?
2. How much will that care cost and how are you going to pay for that care?
3. Do you have a special needs trust and do you know how much money you will need in it? How are you going to fund it? How are the funding instruments taxed when you die?
4. What government benefits are available to your child and how do you apply for them?
5. What is the Medicaid waiver and how do you apply for it?
6. How will you communicate your plan to family members?
The Inland Empire Autism Assessment Center of Excellence (AAC) is a non‐profit, evaluation‐only center that provides a singular solution to a multi‐specialty evaluation process.
We provide the “Gold Standard” in Comprehensive Diagnostic Evaluations for autism and other neurodevelopmental disorders through a transdisciplinary team of experts in the fields of neurology, neuropsychology, occupational therapy, and speech and language pathology. We’re a trusted resource for thousands of caregivers and hundreds of physicians for children with medical, behavioral, sensory, social, or other complexities.
We look forward to collaborating in supporting the children and families of our shared community!
20 CELEBRATING THE LIFE OF AUTISM ADVOCATE DR. LAURENCE A. BECKER
Ron Sandison, M Div
OUR COVER STORIES
WHY IS YOUR WIFE IN A WHEELCHAIR?: ADDRESSING QUESTIONS AS AN INTERABLED COUPLE
A social media influencer discusses some of the curious and more invasive questions she and her husband encounter as an interabled couple.
HELPING CHILDREN CONFRONT THEIR FEARS THROUGH SHARED EXPERIENCES
Rose Adams, OTD, OTR/L
An occupational therapist provides strategies to help children overcome fear through collaborative and shared experiences.
34
PRACTICAL FRAMEWORKS FOR PARENTING CHILDREN ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM
Krisshonda Odufuwa, MEd, BCBA, LBA, Assistant SLP
Explore helpful frameworks for parents who are separated, divorced, fostering, or simply looking for more guidance in their journey of parenting children with
PREPARING A CHILD WITH SPECIAL NEEDS FOR EMERGENCY VISITS TO THE HOSPITAL
Meshell Baylor, MHS
Keeping a child focused and calm during a hospital visit can be challenging, so here are some tips for bringing a special needs child to the hospital.
A tribute to Dr. Laurence A. Becker, founder of Creative Learning Environments, documentary film producer, educator, and special needs advocate.
23 EXCEPTIONAL BOOKS HOW TO BUILD A THRIVING MARRIAGE AS YOU CARE FOR CHILDREN WITH DISABILITIES
Kristin and Todd Evans
A married couple reveals the unique set of skills essential for nurturing a fulfilling relationship amid the extraordinary challenges of raising their child with special needs.
54 KATE MAKES IT GREAT SELF-REGULATION TIPS FOR PARENTS
Kate C. Wilde
Caregivers who manage their anxiety can help their loved ones reduce theirs. Check out some tips in Kate’s column.
56 SWITCHING TO SELF-PACED LEARNING IN SPECIAL EDUCATION CLASSROOMS
Andrew Meunier
A teacher discusses the advantages observed in students with diverse needs following the transition to a self-paced learning model in the special education
68
EDUCATION THROUGH MUSIC: TEACHING STUDENTS WITH AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER
Aygul Hecht, BS, PhD
A mainstream music teacher assigned to a special education class shares some self-taught techniques for assisting autistic children with learning.
24 EXCEPTIONAL ADVICE FROM MESHELL EMPOWERING FATHERS OF CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS TO ADVOCATE
Meshell Baylor, MHS
Here are some key points: If you're a father looking to learn how to support your family better but aren't sure where to begin.
28 LIFE WITH ASPERGERS THE NUMEROUS WAYS MY MOTHER INSTILLED INDEPENDENCE IN ME
Julie Day
An adult on the spectrum reflects on various skills her mother taught her that empowered her to live independently.
30 THE NATIONAL DOWN SYNDROME SOCIETY ADVOCATES FOR WOMEN’S HEALTH
Kate Foley
A look at how the National Down Syndrome Society aims to advocate for women with Down syndrome by drawing health providers’ attention to the ongoing issues that affect all women.
36 THE FRIENDSHIP & DATING DUO DECODING THE SILENCE: WHY YOU’RE NOT GETTING DATES FROM ONLINE DATING
Jeremy and Ilana Hamburgh
Our resident relationship experts explore why online dating poses challenges for many neurodivergent adults and propose alternative methods for building romantic connections.
38 RAISING CHILDREN WITH HYPER-EMPATHY CAN ADD COMPLEXITY TO PARENTING
Lia McCabe, MS
Exploring ways parents can support autistic children who experience hyper empathy, truly feeling the emotions of others as if they were their own.
42 HELPING MY DAUGHTER WITH AN INTELLECTUAL DISABILITY TO ADVOCATE
Amy Kelly, MBA, MNM
A mother of a woman with exceptional needs shares some ideas that have helped her empower her daughter to advocate for herself and feel acknowledged.
45 EXCEPTIONAL BOOKS THEY DON’T DEFINE ME
J. Edwards Holt
This personal memoir reveals the silent struggles of living with multiple mental illnesses from childhood to adulthood and shares strategies the author has developed to thrive.
46 BENEFITS OF SELFEMPLOYMENT FOR YOUTH AND ADULTS WITH DISABILITIES
Jagmeet Kaur Sangha, BCBA
An overview of the advantages of selfemployment and entrepreneurship for individuals with disabilities pursuing financial independence.
50 STRATEGIES TO HELP PEOPLE WITH LEARNING DIFFERENCES “CHILL OUT”
Karen Kaplan, MS
Here are some tips to help those with learning differences relax and create an environment where they can unwind.
52 HOW SENSITIVITIES AND ROUTINES INFLUENCE FOOD PREFERENCES FOR NEURODIVERGENT INDIVIDUALS
Kadin McElwain
An exploration of how we can address sensory-based food aversions without causing stress for neurodivergent individuals.
60 NATURE NOTES THE BENEFITS OF FAMILYBASED NATURE ACTIVITIES FOR PEOPLE OF ALL ABILITIES
Amy Wagenfeld, PhD, OTR/L, SCEM, EDAC, FAOTA
Experiencing nature makes us feel calmer, stronger, and happier. Keeping these benefits in mind, let’s explore simple ways to incorporate nature into your family routine.
I stepped into the pool for my water therapy class last week, I was greeted by a woman making her way up the steps on one leg with the help of a handrail. The lifeguard was there to steady her wheelchair so she could access the locker room.
After she left, I overheard people discussing the woman with great respect and admiration. I, too, thought she was strong and courageous, but I believe another important message emerged. Participating in a water aerobics class with a physical disability was not only beneficial for the woman, but it also raised awareness in the greater community. Ultimately, this situation fostered acceptance and inclusion.
I recently connected with an equally remarkable woman and wheelchair user, Jade Reynolds. Jade and her husband, John, create family comedy content attracting over a million followers. They speak openly and humorously about their life as an interabled couple with two children, showcasing the beauty of diversity and resilience. You won’t want to miss Jade’s article "Why Is Your Wife in a Wheelchair?: Addressing Questions as an Interabled Couple," where she discusses the challenges and victories of parenting young children while navigating her role as a wife and a paralyzed woman.
Unfortunately, individuals often face barriers when seeking and maintaining employment when there are disabilities. According to the Disability Statistics Compendium Annual Report for 2021, the employment rate for disabled individuals has remained around 30-40%. In some cases, employers may overlook the exceptional strengths and abilities that individuals with disabilities can offer. To explore practical ways to promote independence and entrepreneurship, check out Jagmeet Sangha’s article, "Special Entrepreneurship: Promoting Work Independence for Youth and Adults with Disabilities."
Did you know that only 5% of women with Down syndrome have access to clinics offering reproductive healthcare? Unfortunately, there is a lack of focus on sexual health.
While it is often said that women with Down syndrome are less likely to be sexually active, it is tragic that one in three adults with an intellectual disability has experienced abuse. Therefore, discussions about sexual education and preventative care, such as the HPV vaccine, should involve the support team and guardian. To learn how The National Down Syndrome Society aims to tackle the ongoing issues that all women face, read Kate Foley’s article, "The National Down Syndrome Society Advocates for Women’s Health."
We are excited to present writer Julie Day's column, “Life with Aspergers.” Be sure to read her latest article, “The Many Ways My Mother Taught Me Independence,” in which she discusses the practical skills she acquired from her mother.
This issue features 24 unique articles, including practical frameworks for parenting children on the autism spectrum, strategies for preparing a special needs child for an emergency hospital visit, guidance on raising children with hyper-empathy, insights on how sensitivities and routines can influence food preferences for neurodivergent individuals, and advice on helping children navigate their fears through collaborative and shared experiences.
As always, we appreciate our contributors, advertisers, and subscribers who continuously support and play a vital role in our award-winning magazine. Let's keep collaborating to foster awareness, acceptance, and inclusion.
Helping Children Confront Their Fears Through Shared Experiences
By Rose Adams, OTD, OTR/L
Idon’t know about you, but the past year has been about overcoming fears. From preparing for recitals for the first time to trying new experiences, my family is learning to confront uncomfortable and fearful situations together.
My backstory
As a young child, I developed a fear of dogs after a seemingly playful yet frightening experience with our family pet, a German shepherd named Brutus. Around the age of seven, I realized I never felt comfortable around him. I liked to keep a safe distance between Brutus and myself. While walking my dog one day, my brother thought it would be fun to let the dog off the leash to see if he would chase me. I now understand that Brutus might have been playing, but I felt I had to run for my life! I ran back to the house and got inside safely, but the fear followed me into adulthood.
I now hesitate to come close to dogs of any size and am reluctant to engage even if their owners assure me they won’t bite. My brother was a good kid, and I am sure he didn’t realize this seemingly playful experience would result in post-traumatic stress for me. I am sharing this story because the same goes for young children with exceptional needs. Sometimes, experiences that appear harmless may contribute to feelings of extreme discomfort or fear (Green et al., 2015). However, we will circle back to this later.
Current day experiences
I am now a mom of two elementary-aged children. They have taught me to experience life in a whole new way. The boys are fearless, brave, energetic, and loving risk-takers who will try just about anything. Not to mention, they love all creatures, especially dogs! During our neighborhood walks and spending time at the local parks, they frequently ask to pet the dogs they meet. The occupational therapist in me understands the impact of unintentionally projecting our own fears into the experiences of others, so I join them in the experience. My boys know how I feel about dogs, but they encourage me to engage. My engagement sometimes looks like standing near the dogs, smiling and waving. But, in some brave moments, I have even knelt to pet the dogs. This was not an easy or quick process. It has taken years and lots of support to get there. I remain uncomfortable around new dogs (the novelty makes me nervous), but I can say the fear is not what it once was.
The furry win
My boys really want to get a pet dog, but collectively (and mostly me), we are not ready. Instead, they convinced us to get them a kitten, and we won! We adopted not only one but two furry kittens about a year ago. The boys absolutely
adore them, and they have become a significant part of our family. Little did they know I was also uncomfortable around cats. We had a cat growing up, but there were no traumatic events around cats. I remember not liking how my body felt when our cat rubbed their fur against my legs. Now, I understand how sensitivities to certain sensations might impact our participation in life’s activities. I’ll come back to that, too!
Exploring together
Over the years, we have explored many experiences together, from feeding goats at the farm (can you say tactile sensitivity for me?) to riding a Ferris wheel at the local fair for the first time, trying roller skating and ice skating, and more. Despite spending my first few years of life on a family farm in Haiti, I cannot tell you where my fear and discomfort of most things furry came from, but it is in there, and I am determined to explore it together.
Can you think of children or adults in your life who have expressed fears or extreme discomfort with new or seemingly safe experiences? A few may come to mind. After spending most of my career working with the pediatric population, exploring together is common. Usually, in school-based settings, children are exposed to and encouraged to explore new foods and touch new or mixed textures during art, play centers, and other experiences. Often, a new or familiar experience may contribute to discomfort or fear. So, how can we support? I’d like to
suggest a few ways to help children overcome fear through collaborative and shared experiences together:
1. Take a step back
When we observe that a child has a fearful response to a particular stimulus, we can take a step back and ask ourselves why. Do we know enough about the child’s experiences that might contribute to this reaction? What is the child doing? What are they saying? It is essential to uncover the source of the distress. One way to do this is by collaborating with parents, teachers, or family members to determine if this is a new response and, if it’s not, to examine how we have supported the child in the past. Taking a step back allows us the time to pause and ask why. Understanding the reasons helps us find ways to provide support.
2. Support
We can support children in many ways. First and foremost, validate their feelings and experiences (Adams, 2023). What may seem like an overreaction to others may be perceived as a real-life threat to the child. Take time to listen and offer support through time. It takes time to overcome fears. Sometimes, like in my situation, it takes years. Our differences call for individualized support. Can you think of other ways you can support?
3. Do it together
Facing things together is sometimes the best way to approach uncomfortable situations. My boys did it with me, I do it with my students, and you can do it for your child or other children in your care. For example, when my students explore a new goopy, tactile media, I explore it with them, even if I feel goopy inside. I have also learned to be mindful of what we are saying and how we are responding to a novel or uncomfortable experience (Conrad et al., 2020). For example, our facial expressions when things are new, uncomfortable, or
fearful may contribute to learned responses or social fear learning (Debiec & Olsson, 2017). One of our boys has his share of tactile sensitivities that involve food textures and certain wet substances. He has always been cautious about trying new foods. When they were toddlers, one would ask the other to taste the food first before he would try it. They are now nine years old, and this still happens. Remember, navigating new, uncomfortable, or fearful experiences takes time. Rushed or forced exposure is not the answer. Instead, teach coping strategies, and when they’re ready, they can do it together (Adams, 2023; Green et al., 2015).
Making the connection
I may not know the exact source of my discomfort with most things furry or be able to tell you when my fear of dogs will stop traveling with me, but I continue to be committed to overcoming these experiences with others. Are there any fears or uncomfortable situations you have been putting off but want to conquer this year? How about for your child? Let’s take a step back, support and accept support according to our individual needs, and do it together.
References & Resources
Adams, R. (2024, October). Recital ready! Helping children conquer anxiety before musical performances. Exceptional Needs Today, 18, 64-66. https://issuu.com/exceptionalneedstoday/docs/issue_18_final_pages Adams, R. (2023, January). Behind the shield: Helping children manage emotions during stressful life events. Exceptional Needs Today, 11, 33-36. https://issuu.com/exceptionalneedstoday/docs/ent_issue_11_final
Conrad, M., Reider, L. B., & LoBue, V. (2020). Exploring parent-child conversations about live snakes and spiders: Implications for the development of animal fears. Visitor Studies, 24(1), 58–78. https://doi.org/ 10.1080/10645578.2020.1865089
Debiec, J., & Olsson, A. (2017). Social fear learning: From animal models to human function. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 21(7), 546-555. https://doi. org/10.1016/j.tics.2017.04.010
Green, S.A., Hernandez, L., Tottenham, N., Krasileva, K., Bookheimer, S. Y., & Dapretto, M. (2015). Neurobiology of sensory overresponsivity in youth with autism spectrum disorders. JAMA Psychiatry, 72(8), 778-86. https:// doi.org/10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2015.0737 .
Rose Adams, OTD, OTR/L, is an occupational therapy practitioner with a clinical focus in pediatrics. She works with children and families of children on the autism spectrum, multiple disabilities, and other neurodiverse needs. Dr. Adams has worked in schools, private practice settings, and community-based programs. She is the executive director at Changing Lives Occupational Therapy, P.C., and currently works as a consultant for a local school district in New York. Dr. Adams is a graduate of Boston University’s Post Professional Occupational Therapy Doctorate (PP-OTD) program. Her doctoral project focused on using song-based interventions to support young children with autism and related disabilities participating in school-based occupations. When she is not working, she enjoys writing, baking, singing, and sharing time exploring the outdoors with her school-aged twin boys.
“Isn’t it a bit selfish for you to have had kids?”
These are all questions my husband has received in the comment section of his social media videos over the last few years.
My journey
To give some context, my life changed dramatically one day when I was 12 years old. I went from being an ordinary, happy, healthy child to being unable to walk within minutes.
I was in the park with my dad and sister, and as I jumped off one of the swings, my legs started to feel a bit numb. I managed to walk a little, but with each step, it was like the power was draining out of my legs. I just about dragged myself over to a bench and sat down. Little did I know, those would be the last steps I would ever take. When I explained to my dad that I just couldn’t get up, he piggybacked me home and took me straight to the hospital.
I ended up staying in the hospital for months as they ran every test under the sun. Eventually, they concluded it was most likely an autoimmune condition. The theory was that
my immune system mistakenly attacked the base of my spine rather than a virus, and in doing so, my spinal cord became damaged. I was diagnosed with a condition called Acute Transverse Myelitis. Many people end up making a recovery and managing to walk again, but unfortunately, I was one of the unlucky ones who remained paralyzed.
Love and laughter
My husband, John, and I met at the London School of Theology in 2010, started dating in 2013, and married in 2015. For most of his career, John was a church youth worker, but in 2022, he posted the story of our first date on TikTok, and it went viral. Looking back, I’m not surprised it did so well as the story had so many perfect ingredients: it was funny, but there were awkward moments (he had to carry me up the stairs to the cinema screen because the cinema didn’t have a lift!), It was the origin of our love story. As a result of that video amassing millions of views, John’s followers grew, inspiring him to keep posting funny family content, ranging from cheeky banter with me about my disability to general couple’s banter and humorous stories about our two children. As of today, we have over 1.1 million followers across all social media platforms, and it is one of how we make a living.
MY WORD
Tackling questions
So, back to the questions we receive online. I think some people are just curious, but others can be much more invasive or judgmental. Early on, we decided the best way to deal with rude people or “the trolls” was with a sense of humor. Rather than getting angry or letting it bother us, it's much more entertaining to respond to the question, “How did you have kids if she’s in a wheelchair?” by saying something like, “Well, when a mummy and daddy love each other very much…” or “You know she’s allowed to get out of her chair? She’s not glued to it!” Not only does this get the point across to the commenter that they’re being a bit nosy, but it’s also proven to be very popular with our followers and keeps things fun and light-hearted rather than spiraling into something controversial or unnecessarily intense.
Being the best mother I can be
I have found it fascinating how many people have been surprised we’ve had children, and I think it’s down to education and representation. When I was growing up, there were very few examples of disability on TV or mainstream media and even fewer examples of disabled husbands/ wives/parents. I love being able to play a small part in encouraging others with disabilities to know that romance and family life may be possible and, just because you have a disability, that doesn’t diminish your value or worth.
That being said, motherhood hasn’t always been plain sailing. I’ve had serious health complications, frustrations with the struggles of parenting small children, worries of not being able to do some of the things other mums can do, and even the fear that my children may one day resent me for that. However, the reality is that every mum has limitations. No one has limitless energy, resources, wisdom, and abilities. We’re all doing our best with what we’ve got, and I learned early on that the most important thing isn’t what I can do for my children but who I can be for them. My kids don’t miss what they’ve never known, and instead of worrying about the things I can’t do, I prefer to focus on what I can so I can become the best mum I can be for them. Not only that but sometimes I think being disabled has its advantages. I am very independent, and my kids don’t need to “care” for me, but I do need their assistance sometimes, so they’ve learned to think of Mummy (and therefore other people) more quickly than the average child without a disabled parent.
I can also teach them about differences, respecting others, and being inclusive in a very natural, organic way. Usually, using humor. All four of us laugh often together. We joke a lot about disability, and we teach our kids not to be cruel to others but also not to take themselves too seriously. Every
parent wants to pass on the lessons they’ve learned to their children, and we’ve experienced the power of humor in overcoming adversity and gaining resilience. So much so we actually wrote a book all about my life, our relationship, and the power of humor!
Answering with humor
We realized there was only so much detail we could go into when answering the questions and comments on our videos. So, we used those questions as the structure for
our book. Each chapter begins with a question like the ones at the beginning of this article, and then we discuss each topic in turn as a way of telling my and John’s story. We called it Able to Laugh: Finding Joy through the Struggle is Real because, despite all I’ve been through, I’ve had an unshakeable joy throughout my life, which has been underpinned by my family, my sense of humor, and my Christian faith. Without those things, I could never have achieved so many of my goals in life, and I definitely wouldn’t be anywhere near as “able to laugh.”
When Jade Reynolds was 12, a rare medical condition left her paralyzed—but she never lost her sense of humor, and today, she’s happily married to John Reynolds. In their new book, *Able to Laugh*, the TikTok stars share insights into their lives as an interabled couple and address all the questions you might have but were too afraid to ask. John and Jade Reynolds have gained over one million social media followers who enjoy following their journey as a couple. They are available to discuss their new book, navigating the challenges of parenting, and how they transformed hardship into hope. Witty, candid, and inspiring, Able to Laugh presents a winning blend of humor and wisdom. Would you be interested in featuring Able to Laugh? If you’d like to receive a digital copy of the book, please get in touch with Caitlin Flynn at cflynn@cpg.org or 212-592-4207.
Photos by Jane Green, Don’t Delete the Kisses Photography
Practical Frameworks for Parenting Children on the Autism Spectrum
By Krisshonda Odufuwa, MEd, BCBA, LBA, Assistant SLP
It all starts with you
Parenting is an extraordinary journey filled with profound joys, unexpected challenges, and boundless love. When your child is diagnosed with autism, this journey takes on a unique hue, marked by moments of resilience, growth, and deep understanding. Parents often find themselves in circumstances where they feel unsure, alone, and lack resources to help their child. Let’s not forget the six-month to one-year wait lists for specific providers to implement evidence-based practices to enhance progress and developmental growth. The questions then arise, “What can parents do to support their autistic child’s needs when resources are scarce and time is sensitive?” “Is it possible for a parent to have practical strategies to implement both inside
and outside of therapy, and in return, it is effective?” To all parents with children on the autism spectrum, there is hope!
Here’s the truth
Many resources are provided for children with autism, from speech therapy, occupational therapy, Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy, and play therapy. There is no denying that these resources are beneficial for children with autism, but what about you, the parent? Who is pouring into you more than a couple of times per month? What available supports do you have to enhance your parenting journey? The truth is, before reading this article, you likely had no support. Now is the time to shift our focus to you as parents. Why? The answer is simple. You are the one who knows your
child best. You have a connection with your child that only you will ever have. Furthermore, your child comes home to you after therapy, where the real work begins.
Practical
frameworks
Before we introduce you to some practical frameworks, you need to know these frameworks are a larger entity developed into an online course and manual designed and created with you in mind: the parent. Parenting looks different across the board, and one should acknowledge all parents when providing practical strategies to support a child on the autism spectrum. The frameworks below highlight parents who are separated, divorced, fostering, or parents who simply need more guidance in their autistic parenting journey (to learn more, visit www.bluemelo.com).
1. Let's start with the basics: Understanding autism
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a neurological condition typically identified in young children. Autism can affect one or more domains: communication, social skills, and behaviors. Individuals may experience autism through restricted and repetitive interests, obsessive behaviors, a lack of expressive and receptive language skills, or sensory sensitivities. It is important to note that there is currently no “cure” for autism; there are no magic pills, diets, shots, or therapies that will eliminate one’s autism. Many families find that autism represents
a new way of life and do not consider it to be a disability, while others may struggle daily with the diagnosis.
2. Co-parenting an autistic child
Establishing a predictable routine is crucial when raising an autistic child. Consistency benefits not only the child's development but also their emotional wellbeing. Disagreements regarding routines, discipline, and education can lead to confusion and hinder progress. It is essential to establish consistency in all aspects of co-parenting.
3. Sensory sensitivities
Children with autism often experience sensory processing differences, leading to hypersensitivity or hyposensitivity to various stimuli, such as light, sound, touch, and more.
Hypersensitivity
Hypersensitivity means that a child has an exaggerated response to sensory stimuli. This can be manifested in several ways:
• Light: Bright lights may cause discomfort or pain, leading the child to squint, cover their eyes, or avoid brightly lit areas.
• Sound: Loud or sudden noises, such as sirens or a vacuum cleaner, can be overwhelming, causing anxiety or distress. The child might cover their ears or become upset in noisy environments.
Hyposensitivity
Hyposensitivity, however, refers to a child's diminished response to sensory stimuli. This can be presented in various ways:
• Light: The child may not notice or react to bright lights, leading them to seek out more intense lighting or to engage in risky behaviors in poorly lit areas.
• Sound: They might not respond to sounds that would typically draw attention, such as a parent calling their name or a doorbell ringing.
4. Communication strategies with your child
Children with autism may communicate in various ways, including verbal, nonverbal, and through assistive technology. It's essential to recognize that when a child has communication deficits, their behavior can be significantly affected. While vocal communication is the most common form, it is not the only method available.
PARENTAL SUPPORT
Nonverbal communication can include systems such as Picture Exchange Communication Systems (PECS), sign language, sentence strips, augmentative and alternative communication (AAC), or simple gestures and pointing to express needs.
5. Helping your autistic child manage two households
Navigating the complexities of co-parenting when raising an autistic child can be challenging. Children with autism often thrive on routine, predictability, and clear communication, which can be disrupted by transitioning between two households. However, with thoughtful planning and collaboration, parents can
create a supportive environment that helps their child adapt to both homes.
Parenting as a flower
Just as a gardener inspects and maintains their flowerbed, it is vital for parents to maintain parent education when parenting children on the autism spectrum. The beauty of parent education is that it starts small and has the capability to transform into a beautiful flower. Seasons change, and the storms come, but as long as you water your parenting, you and your family will grow in due time, just like a flower. Be patient, be loving, and be kind.
Krisshonda Odufuwa, MEd, BCBA, LBA, SLP-Assistant, is a passionate clinician, author, public speaker, and autism advocate dedicated to empowering parents of children with autism. With extensive experience in behavior analysis and speech-language pathology, she specializes in providing practical strategies tailored to the unique needs of autistic individuals. As a skilled clinician, Krisshonda leads workshops and courses that equip parents with evidence-based tools to enhance their understanding of autism, improve communication, and foster meaningful connections with their children. Her commitment to advocacy and education inspires parents to navigate the complexities of autism with confidence, creating supportive environments that promote growth and inclusion. Through her work, Krisshonda aims to transform the parenting journey into one of empowerment and hope.
For additional information on parenting children on the autism spectrum, visit Blue Melo’s website. Blue Melo provides parent coaching/ training services through virtual technology to families anywhere in the world. In addition, follow Blue Melo on social media.
bluemelo.com
@bluemelobehaviorchange
Celebrating the Life of Autism
Advocate Dr. Laurence A. Becker
September 23, 1936 - October 25, 2024
By Ron Sandison, M Div
My purpose in life is to share the stories and art of people with autism and bring hope to parents who often feel devastated by the diagnosis of autism.
Dr. Laurence A. Becker, film producer of Fierce Love and Art and With Eyes Wide Open
Dr. Laurence A. Becker was the founder of Creative Learning Environments, a documentary film producer, educator, autism and special needs advocate, and most importantly, a father figure and friend of people with autism and their families. I had the pleasure of being in his documentary film Fierce Love and Art, which features my journey with autism along with eight other artists. I stayed twice at Dr. Laurence and his wife Rosanne’s home in Austin, Texas, and traveled with him and spoke on autism. Our friendship began on March 22, 2017, with a letter and phone call.
Dr. Laurence began his letter,
“Dear Ron,
I was surprised by the synchronicity of discovering your book, A Parent’s Guide to Autism: Practical Advice. Biblical Wisdom this past weekend while we were in Houston filming Grant Manier and his mother Julie for my new documentary film, Fierce Love and Art.”
While the cinematographer, Ron Zimmerman, was filming Grant at work, I was sitting nearby and happened to look at the titles of several books in his bookcase. I picked out your book, read the endorsements inside, and discovered one by Bill Gaventa. He is the father of Matt, our new senior pastor at our church in Austin, TX. Then I saw the foreword by Kristine Barnett, whom I also know.
The next day, Dr. Laurence and I talked for over an hour. I loved hearing about his documentary Fierce Love and Art, and as he spoke, I wanted to be one of his featured artists. The documentary shares stories of autistic savants and prodigies whose parents used art, music, or poetry to help their children’s creativity blossom and experience life.
In May 2017, Dr. Laurence called and told me that my family had been chosen to be part of Fierce Love and Art. After Dr. Becker interviewed and filmed Dr. Darold Treffert, a world-renowned expert on savants and prodigies in Wisconsin, I was the final stop of his 2,500-mile road trip.
In June, Dr. Laurence and Ron Zimmerman filmed me at my parents' house in Rochester Hills, MI after working at the hospital. Earlier in the day, they interviewed my parents. My mom proudly displayed all my artwork for the film. I shared in the documentary how my mom quit her job as an art teacher and became a full-time “Ron Teacher.” Dr. Temple Grandin is the film narrator.
Dr. Laurence saw the potential within people with autism and disabilities and helped promote their gifts and enabled them to gain connections. Many of the young adults he worked with had profound challenges in life, and he wrote
articles, presented at conferences, and held art shows, making sure their stories and voices were heard, and artwork was seen. He told me, “God has a way of connecting me with young adults with autism and their families, and I watch for synchronicity and see my work as a mission from God.” After spending 5,000 hours writing three books and two hundred articles on autism, I’ve noticed that young adults with autism who thrive have two main attributes: first, they had a family member, friend, mentor, or teacher who believed in them and invested time refining their strengths and talents to accommodate for their limitations. Second, these young adults had someone who marketed and promoted their gifts, and this helped them build connections and develop social skills. Dr. Laurence had these two attributes, and he believed in people with autism and empowered them by marketing and promoting their
gifts in films and art shows.
My friendship with Dr. Laurence and Rosanne taught me four life lessons. First, the importance of a kind and gentle spirit that displays the love of Christ. These qualities attracted young adults with autism and their families to Dr. Laurence and his wife. Ephesians 4:2 says, “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love.” He demonstrated his love and gentleness by mentoring
people with autism and listening to their stories. He often sent gifts and encouraging letters.
Second, never stop learning, but let your life be a fountain of knowledge and love. Autism causes me to love facts. One of the first things Dr. Laurence said to me when he picked me up at the airport was, “Texas is so large that if you drove straight across the State, it would take the same amount of time as driving from Texas to Michigan.” We spent hours talking and sharing about our favorite books and quotes. Dr. Laurence’s guestroom was filled with books, and his living room was an art studio of savants and prodigies’ original artwork, including Richard Wawro and Ping Lian Yeak. Christophe Pillault, Kimberly Dixon, Seth Chwast, and Grant Manier.
Third, stories provide the power to change people’s perspective of disabilities and to impact the world for good. Dr. Laurence had a gift for sharing his stories about life and the prodigies and savants he mentored and loved. He shared with me that their home was the same house where his parents raised him and his sister Virginia. Dr. Laurence’s two documentary films are filled with the stories and voices of people with autism and their families. These stories are inspiring and teach that with love and acceptance, anything is possible.
Finally, finish your race strong. Dr. Becker, at 88, was still speaking at autism conferences and doing Zoom presentations. In his eighties, he drove 2,500 miles across the country to film Fierce Love and Art and presented the film in Texas, Florida, and California. He stayed healthy by playing tennis and bike riding. As artist Grant Manier states in his Dr. Laurence’s Memory YouTube video, “Goodbye for now until we say hello again.” Dr. Becker’s advocacy and love for the autism community carries with the people and families he has impacted by his gentle and kind spirit and passion for life.
Cherished Memories with Dr. Laurence Becker
YOUTUBE Watch here
Movie Trailers for Fierce Love and Art
YOUTUBE Watch the trailers
Ron Sandison, MDiv., works full-time in the medical field and is a Professor of Theology at Destiny School of Ministry. He is an advisory board member of the Autism Society Faith Initiative of the Autism Society of America, the Art of Autism, and the Els Center of Excellence. Ron holds a Master of Divinity from Oral Roberts University and is the author of A Parent’s Guide to Autism: Practical Advice. Biblical Wisdom was published by Siloam, and it is about Thought, Choice, and Action. He has memorized over 15,000 Scriptures, including 22 complete books of the New Testament. Ron speaks at over 70 events a year, including 20-plus education conferences. Ron and his wife, Kristen, reside in Rochester Hills, MI, with their daughter, Makayla.
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HOW TO BUILD A THRIVING MARRIAGE
AS YOU CARE FOR CHILDREN WITH DISABILITIES
By Kristin Faith Evans, MA, MS, LMSW, and Todd Evans, PhD, MA
Building a vibrant and joyful marriage is always a challenge. When you add the stresses inherent in parenting children with disabilities, it becomes both more difficult and more critical.
Once on the brink of divorce, Kristin and Todd Evans uncovered the unique set of skills crucial for growing a fulfilling relationship amid the extraordinary challenges of caring for their child with special needs. Weaving together insights from Scripture, research, and clinical and personal experience, they show you how to:
• Identify your unique needs
• Assess your strengths and weaknesses
• Set your priorities
• Develop healthy stress management skills
• Deepen your communication and connection
• Tackle problems as a team
• Find ways to rest and recharge
• Nurture sexual intimacy
• Build a strong support network
• And so much more
Kristin Faith Evans, MA, MS, LMSW, and Todd Evans, PhD, MA, are celebrating 23 years of marriage. They are award-winning authors, national speakers, and special needs parents. They are passionate about empowering other parents of children with additional needs with the keys to thrive at www.DisabilityParenting.com. They both earned their MA in Christian Educational Ministries at Wheaton College in Illinois and have served together in full-time ministry in church, camping, and retreat settings. Todd received his PhD from Vanderbilt University’s School of Engineering and currently manages his own business, and Kristin earned her MSW from the University of Tennessee and is a Licensed Master Social Worker experienced in couples, child and family, substance abuse, and crisis counseling. They enjoy traveling and the outdoors together.
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EXCEPTIONAL ADVICE FROM MESHELL
Empowering Fathers of Children with Special Needs to Advocate
By Meshell Baylor, MHS
"A father's love is eternal and without end." – Unknown –
Raising a child with different abilities and ensuring they have all the assistance they require at home requires immense unconditional love. An exceptional child can create new changes for the family, yet we rarely consider the father's perspective during this time and his important role in the family. Fathers are often associated with strength, protection, and being the leader of the home. A man with a close bond with his children is considered a
loving father. Someone watching over us from every aspect of our lives, a male figure we rely on to ensure everything goes according to plan. Society often views fathers as Superman or Macho Man, unaffected by anything that comes their way. We rarely consider the impact a diagnosis or disability has on a male perspective. We do not consider their feelings in learning how to navigate the system and become a support to the home dynamics.
According to the National Health Statistics, 40% of children do well when a father is actively involved. We are so used to seeing our mothers on the frontline advocating for their exceptional children in schools, boardrooms, and Individualized Education Program (IEP) meetings, but today, we are witnessing the evolution of fathers leading the path for advocacy.
I had the opportunity to attend an event hosted by a non-profit organization called "Super Dads." The Special Needs Network sponsored this event to commemorate the fantastic fathers who dedicate much of their time and love to celebrating their exceptional children. I remember sitting in and seeing these fathers trying to learn how to navigate the special education system and support their partners. One father said, "Showing up to support my wife means something.” My reply was, “Absolutely.” Being there matters, and asking questions makes the road of advocacy for your children less stressful.
Mothers are usually perceived as natural nurturers, but many fathers are nurturing as well. When attending this event, I listened closely to fathers' details about what they mentally feel. I concluded that you might see the following from a father in the early stages:
1. Shadowing: Fathers can be great observers. Many look closely at the mom and the team's efforts to help the exceptional child. They might slowly try to figure out how they can help and what actions they can take to provide support.
2. Silence: Fathers might be silent; many men carry their grief and pain internally and rarely express their emotions because they do not want anyone to worry about them.
3. Workaholics: Many fathers use work as an outlet while learning how to navigate the special education system and this new world. They might feel a sense of urgency to keep working and caring for the family dynamics so everything is going well financially and economically. One less stress from the family's back is the relief they feel they can offer the home dynamics.
4. Disappointment: Feelings of unease and disappointment can be a crippling feeling for a father. He might question whether there was something he could have done to help more.
5. Anxiety: According to Neuroscience Institute.com, an overall 7% increase in stress levels rose with fathers with children with emotional and behavioral needs in the early stages of intervention.
Today's exceptional dad is learning how to embrace the special education system. Many are attending advocacy
classes and volunteering with school parking. A lot of fathers are now taking the initiative to support their significant other and take the lead in public speaking, sharing their experience, and learning how to help when the child needs behavioral intervention skills. Fathers are learning to help manage the therapy and community events calendar and prepare for those Individualized Education Program (IEP) meetings.
If you are a father who wants to learn how to navigate these systems and further support your family but does not know where to start, here are some key ideas:
1. Find a fatherhood program near you: Locate or search for organizations that empower and support fathers. Men uplifting other men to be exceptional fathers, brothers, and supporters in the community is a way to advance.
2. Volunteer: Volunteer in your community, where you can actively build relationships with other fathers who may understand how to navigate the special education world.
3. Ask questions: Whether it's the Individualized Education Program (IEP) team sitting across the table from you, a teacher, or a therapist working with your child, take the initiative to ask questions about fathers and resources.
4. Network: Network in your community, schools, and barbershops to raise awareness for your exceptional child's needs and cause. While raising awareness, talk to other fathers, uncles, grandfathers, and men interested in learning about dad advocacy.
5. Attend workshops: More non-profit organizations are centering around parent acceptance. Find a non-profit organization that advocates teaching special education law, parent acceptance, knowing your rights, and how to create your support groups.
6. Seek mental health: As caregivers, parents, and supporters, fathers must seek mental health when they feel overwhelmed. According to the Centers for Disease Prevention and Control, an approximately higher percentage of men (50%) have high blood pressure than women (44%). Please acknowledge your physical and mental health and ensure you check in with your primary care physician because the household and family depend on you!
To every father actively participating in behavior therapy and rearranging their schedules to attend appointments for their children, please know we sincerely appreciate you and your efforts to care for the family and your exceptional child or loved one. We acknowledge that many times we see moms on the front lines advocating for the child and community. Still, please know we see you at the vendor booth, setting up the decorations, carrying your child on your shoulders, and providing unconditional love.
Please make sure you are doing everything in your power to rest, practice self-care, and make time for the most important things in your life: your care and your family. There is a quote that says a father can play like a kid, give the best advice like a friend, and love and protect like a bodyguard. Fathers are the best. Below are some references and resources that provide online Zoom classes on teaching fathers and caregivers advocacy and creating a support group.
To every father actively participating in behavior therapy and rearranging their schedules to attend appointments for their children, please know we sincerely appreciate you.
References
Center For Disease Prevention Of Control High Blood Pressure: High Blood Pressure Facts | High Blood Pressure | CDC
Father's Involvement With Their Children | Blogs | CDC
National Statics Report on Father Involvement: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/ data/nhsr/nhsr071.pdf
National Library Of Medicine On Father Involvement: Father Involvement and Cognitive Development in Early and Middle Childhood: A Systematic Review - PMC (nih.gov)
Neuroscience.com Fathers Stress Associated With Children's Emotional and Behavioral Problems at Age Two: Fathers Stress Associated With Children's Emotional and Behavioral Problems at Age Two - Neuroscience News
Resources
The Father Hood Project: The Fatherhood Project | Connecting fathers and children
Children Institute: Children's Institute Inc. - Supporting children and families in Los Angeles (childrensinstitute.org)
Special Needs Network: Home - snnla.org
Autism Society Los Angeles: Autism Society of Los Angeles (autismla.org)
Note: Please visit these websites to check the availability of all advocacy programs and resources, including dates, times, and admission.
Meshell Baylor, MHS, is a mother of four children—two of whom are on the autism spectrum. She serves her community as a social worker and advocate in the Los Angeles area. She has a Bachelor’s degree in human services from Springfield College and a Master of Science degree in human and social services. Meshell continues volunteering and giving within her local area while serving the special needs community.
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LIFE WITH ASPERGERS
The Numerous Ways My Mother Instilled Independence in Me
By Julie Day
You can teach your child many different things throughout their life. I will name a few that my Mum taught me and helped me live independently.
Sometimes, when I was out shopping with Mum (as an adult), we'd stop and talk to different people. I recognized a few of these as they also lived on the same road as us or locally. I would get to know who to talk to and who not to talk to. There was one older woman who was very chatty, and we tried to avoid bumping into her when we went out. I've not seen her since the pandemic, although I hardly go out these days. The other people I got to know were shop staff, including the pharmacist. When I go there for something now, I say hello. They all got to know my mother and knew she had passed away in 2022.
Mum taught me one more thing about shopping—the pricing of items. She'd tell me the cheaper version, whether it was a large or small pack. The larger pack would sometimes be cheaper than the smaller one per kg/sheet. For example, a pack of 16 toilet rolls might be less expensive per sheet than a pack of nine. I still shop like this today.
When shopping for food, we would have lists. Lists of what foods we regularly buy, lists of what meats we had in the freezer, and a menu plan for the week's meals. We would review what we had in the freezer, fridge, and cupboards. Then, we put anything we were running out of and needed for the week's dinners on the shopping list. This is a good way to save money, not just for autistics. I have more or less kept to that routine. I have a list of what foods I eat often, go through that, and write down what I'm running out of on the
list for the following week.
Back home, Mum taught me how to use the washing machine. We'd use it together for a while, so I got used to what to do. Mum also wrote down each cycle's instructions. All this came in handy when Mum ended up bedbound, and I had to do all the housework. Mum taught me how to iron clothes, but I never understood how to put up the ironing board, so now that I'm on my own, I don't iron anything. When Mum did the washing, she had a specific order for where she put the clothing on the dryer. I have carried on with that routine myself. It is probably my “Aspieness”. I'm used to it, so it is needed to comfort me. She also had certain days to do laundry. Mondays and Fridays would be for washing the whites/lights, and Wednesdays or Sundays would be for darks. I am trying to keep to that washing schedule on certain days. This is a good idea for autistics. It helps to have a routine.
If you have a boiler, it's good to read the manual, especially for the codes that might come up, usually when something is wrong. Mum taught me the usual codes, so when it did show up, I knew what to do. Unfortunately, one time it didn't work, and I had to call an engineer via my landlord. It needed a new part.
Over the years, as I helped Mum in the garden, she taught me the names of many plants, including their Latin names. She also taught me how to deadhead and prune bushes such as roses and plant flowers and vegetables. None of which I do now myself. I also learned to tolerate things crawling or flying around me, which I hate. I still remember
some of the plant names, but I am less tolerant of insects as I don't go out in the garden on my own so much these days. The garden is too big for me to cope with on my own, so I have a gardening couple (man and wife) who come every other week to do the work and keep it tidy for me. I still get joy from seeing flowers appearing yearly in the garden.
One other thing we did together was feed the birds. There is a bird feeder up near the top of the garden, and I've had the birdbath brought down nearer to the back door. I've seen one little bird drink from it. I miss seeing the birds feeding, although I do see some come into the bushes, on the lawn, and on the fence. One day, I will buy a bird table and put it near the birdbath. I have food to put on it.
These are many of the things my mother taught me over the years. A lot of it has helped me live independently,
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@julieday9517
something I never thought I'd be able to do. Even in 2021, if you had asked me if I could live alone, I would have said no out of fear. You don't know what you can do until you try
Julie Day lives in South East London, UK. She writes magical realism fiction for adults and children, and her children's books feature autistic characters. She has also published her memoir Endocarditis – My Journey' About Coping With This Rare Serious Infection And Its Recovery. She also writes short stories in anthologies and fillers for magazines. She blogs about her life with Asperger’s and her memoir.
The National Down Syndrome Society Advocates for Women’s Health
By Katie Foley
The importance of women’s health, in particular women with Down syndrome, is an often-undervalued, overlooked medical need. The National Down Syndrome Society seeks to advocate for women with Down syndrome by helping providers and bringing attention to the issues that persist for all women. Women’s health continues to need further studies addressing the unique factors contributing to women’s overall health, and unfortunately, issues influencing women with Down syndrome have received even less attention.
At one time, people with Down syndrome had an average life expectancy of no more than 10 years. In the 1950s, the mean life expectancy of a person with Down syndrome was 26, and since it has doubled. The inclusion of people with Down syndrome into society and the value of their shared experiences has also led to a more fulfilling life for them and their families. There is still a long way to go, and one way we can help women with Down syndrome continue to live their best lives is to create a medical environment that seeks to understand their circumstances by engaging with women on a case-to-case basis and helping them get the care they need.
Only 5% of women who have Down syndrome have access to a clinic where women’s reproductive healthcare is readily available, and most just continue to work with their primary care doctor (PCP). Women with Down syndrome have many of the common struggles that women without Down syndrome have to deal with. However, due to previously limited engagement with self-advocates, communication struggles, and a lack of sexual education for people with intellectual disabilities, their needs are often misunderstood. It is so vital that providers connect with their patients who have Down syndrome on an individual basis. The National Down Syndrome Society has created a provider guide, which includes the lived experiences of selfadvocates and what they feel is most important to them.
Supporting sexual health
One issue that affects women is the lack of focus on sexual health. While it is said women with Down syndrome are less likely to be sexually active, they, unfortunately, are statistically more likely to become victims of sexual abuse. One in three adults with an intellectual disability has been abused. Therefore, information on sexual education and preventative medicine, such as the HPV vaccine, might be something to discuss and consider with a support team, guardian, and your doctor.
Although women with Down syndrome need to receive reproductive care, it may be different for each person. It is also very common for women with Down syndrome to find pelvic exams challenging to tolerate for many different reasons. Therefore, discussing options outside of the typical exam protocol might be necessary for her comfort and important for her health.
Alleviating communication barriers
Some women with Down syndrome struggle with communication barriers such as auditory processing, and having people they can trust come with them to a doctor’s appointment is common. However, self-advocates will tell you that when discussing a patient’s health, it is essential that you speak directly to them and not to their companion or support person.
Supporting menstrual health
Young women with Down syndrome are also just as likely to struggle with menstrual-related issues, such as Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) and Premenstrual syndrome (PMS). They may not always know how to talk about it or be unaware of the relief options available. Their doctor can help them find different ways to cope. Girls with
STAYING FIT AND HEALTHY
Down syndrome may even begin menstruating at a younger age than their typical peers, and helping them feel prepared is essential. Common struggles with young girls surrounding period hygiene might be addressed with different sanitary options such as period underpants, keeping supplies readily available, and having visual schedules. Some women may discuss hormonal medication with their doctor. However, the patient must be involved in the solutions at all times. The more insight we can garner, the more enjoyable women’s lives can be.
Understanding other conditions
Women with Down syndrome need to contend with many of the same issues that all women are concerned with, such as breast cancer, pregnancy, osteoporosis, menopause, and yeast infections, and may need more specialized care. Women with Down syndrome are more prone to such disorders as osteoporosis as well as common underlying causes like celiac disease, hyperparathyroidism, Vitamin D deficiency, and hyperthyroidism. Another common concern among women with Down syndrome is dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. There has been a correlation between a drop in estrogen levels and early-onset dementia. However, more research is needed to determine if treatment with hormone therapy would affect the age of Alzheimer’s development. These topics are important for all women and for women with Down syndrome they must have available to them all of the same information and tools they need to live a happy and fulfilling life.
A brighter future
Although certain barriers will affect a woman with Down syndrome more than her typical counterpart, all women have unique medical circumstances that affect their health. It is vital for doctors, clinicians, caregivers, and self-advocates to address the uniqueness of these needs together. The National Down Syndrome Society has put together a resource guide to help providers address the needs of their patients with experiences shared by selfadvocates and social stories meant to help those with
different learning styles access healthcare information important to them. People with Down syndrome live longer lives, and because of the care given to them by those they love and the dedication of the physicians and clinicians who provide care, they also live higher quality lives.
Katie Foley is an advocate for The Arc of Northeastern Pennsylvania (TheArcNEPA.org), where she runs Sibshop, creates and presents content and trainings focused on assisting others in advocating for themselves or their loved ones and assists in individual advocacy in Luzerne County, Pennsylvania. Her education is in communications with a focus on theater, and she has a secondary degree in elementary education. She also enjoys teaching an Acting class for Adults of all abilities that focus on socialization and emotional understanding through Acting techniques. She has written You May Never Be French, a children's book that looks at autism through a cultural lens. Katie has also written and contributed to other children's books and has been a contributing author for Autism Parenting Magazine and a guest blogger for other nonprofits. She is on the Family Advisory Board for Community Cares Behavioral Health in Pennsylvania and a founding board member of The Art's Alliance in Carbondale, Pennsylvania. Katie also enjoys volunteering for Equestrian Special Olympics; however, she is most grateful for her role as a parent of exceptional children who teach her new things about herself and life daily. She is a content writer for Exceptional Needs Today magazine.
Preparing a Child with Special Needs for Emergency Visits to the Hospital
By Meshell Baylor, MHS
"A hospital is a place where hope is born."
Seeing your wonderful child sick or hurt is never easy. An exceptional child may find it challenging to express they are in a state of discomfort or their stomach hurts. Your parent intuition tells you it is time to take them to the hospital as soon as you suspect they are not acting like their usual, energetic self. You immediately get your child dressed and head to the nearest emergency room. However, numerous things can be triggering for a special needs child going to the emergency hospital, such as the following:
• Lighting: Children with specific needs may become glare-sensitive due to the intense lighting in the hospital.
• Noise: In an emergency room, the sound of crying children, people in agony, nurses yelling out patient names, and the intercom paging the doctors over the speaker can be deafening.
• Temperature: The child may find the hospital's temperature too hot or too cold and maybe uncomfortable.
• Seating: For a child who dislikes touch, being crammed into a small seat in a hospital with other people sitting so close may be triggering.
• Long Wait: A child who struggles to remain still for
extended periods may find it difficult to wait a long time to see the doctor and be treated.
• Check Vital Signs: Exceptional children may find it uncomfortable to be touched, have their temperature taken, have blood work done, or may find going into a CAT scan or MRI machine challenging.
As caretakers, we must advocate for our children and their individualized rights to good healthcare treatment when entering a hospital or urgent care facility.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, 9.5% of children with developmental disabilities have more frequent visits to the emergency department than their neurotypical peers. This can be due to contributing chronic health factors such as asthma, bronchitis, and other illnesses. As caretakers, we must advocate for our children and their individualized rights to good healthcare treatment when entering a hospital or urgent care facility.
Keeping your child attentive during a hospital visit may be challenging, so here are some tips for bringing an exceptional child into the hospital.
• Prepare: Prepare your child for a hospital visit and let them know seeing a doctor is a good thing. Assure them that the nurses and staff are there to help them feel better.
• Symptoms: Make sure to jot down your child's symptoms and inform the doctor what their behavior is like when the child is not sick so they will comprehend the change in behavior due to sickness.
• Inform staff: Ensure the medical staff know your exceptional child has a disability. I write in bold on the
top of the hospital paperwork when asked what the reason for my child’s doctor visit is: “ATTN Note: THIS CHILD IS SPECIAL NEEDS.” This is to notify staff if the child does not want to interact or needs redirection when taking vitals or meeting with the doctor. You can also ask if the staff has some expertise in working with individuals with disabilities.
• Bring activities: Emergency visits can take hours, and it can be a long wait before your child's name is called. To make the wait much smoother, it is best to bring your child's favorite play items, such as coloring books, iPads, cell phones, snacks, their favorite teddy bear, or blanket.
• Find a quiet place: Hospitals can be loud, filled with extreme lighting, and filled with people sitting close to each other. For a child with exceptional needs, this can be overwhelming. If you cannot find a quiet place, bring sensory headphones to tune out the noise. Find a space in the emergency department where you can hear your child's name being called, but it is spaced away from noise and distractions that may trigger the child to have a meltdown.
• Secure support: Bring support for the child's emergency visit. If you have a supportive care system, ask a friend, family member, or close loved one to accompany you to the hospital for emotional support. It can be challenging when a child must be medically checked.
A trip to the emergency room is never fun, but ensuring your exceptional child receives the medical help they need is the most important thing any parent can do. We understand that emergency visits can be time-consuming, but making sure your child is comfortable, informing staff, or asking if they know about autism or working with children with disabilities is a great factor in making the visit more accommodating for your child. By the end of the emergency visit, you and your child can go home, rest, and spend the next few days focusing on recovery, rest, and family time.
References
Emergency Visits for Autistic Children and Children With ADHD: Emergency Visits for Autistic Children and Children With ADHD | Pediatrics | American Academy of Pediatrics
Meshell Baylor, MHS, is a mother of four children—two of whom are on the autism spectrum. She serves her community as a social worker and advocate in the Los Angeles area. She has a Bachelor’s degree in human services from Springfield College and a Master of Science degree in human and social services. Meshell continues volunteering and giving within her local area while serving the special needs community.
�� Center for Autism and Developmental Disabilities
THE FRIENDSHIP & DATING DUO Decoding the Silence: Why You’re Not Getting Dates from Online Dating
By Jeremy and Ilana Hamburgh
Nine of the last 10 clients who joined our program came to us with a deep desire for a romantic relationship. All of them are autistic or similarly neurodivergent adults, and they found us because they all want the same social joys as their neurotypical counterparts but struggle with making it happen.
Given the increasingly digital world we live in, it comes as no surprise that almost everyone who comes to us is using online dating sites or has tried them in the past. They look at their neurotypical counterparts, many of whom have found dates, relationships, and love on dating sites, and they say, “If it works for them, it’ll work for me, too.”
Online dating has worked for a small minority of autistic and neurodivergent adults. For the vast majority, dating sites are a frustrating, sometimes maddening, experience. If that sounds like your experience, let’s talk about three reasons it may happen and what you should be doing instead.
Your profile isn’t optimized
Online dating profiles often combine pictures of you with information about who you are and what you’re looking for in a partner.
For better or for worse, most singles who look at your profile start by evaluating your photos. If your profile is anything like the hundreds we’ve seen, chances are your photos aren’t portraying you in the best possible way. Ask yourself:
Online dating has worked for a small minority of autistic and neurodivergent adults. For the vast majority, dating sites are a frustrating, sometimes maddening, experience.
• Is the image low resolution? That can send a poor message.
• Is it a group photo? The viewer may not be able to figure out which one you are.
• Are you smiling? If you’re not, you may come off as unapproachable.
• Are you dressed well? The better you look, the better you’re likely to be perceived.
Even if your photos are top-notch, what you write in your profile can also make or break your chances of meeting someone.
Some profiles have too little information. When that happens, readers learn little or nothing about you, which gives them no reason to want to connect with you.
Other profiles have too much information. When that happens, the sheer volume of text overwhelms readers, and they give up.
Even when profiles have the right amount of information, they need to be written in a way that attracts a potential partner. We can’t tell you how many singles write extensively about their interests, which potential partners aren’t likely to have any interest in. For example, men tend to write about their love of video games, anime, or superheroes, which aren’t passions most women share on dating sites.
There are “hidden rules” to communicating
Let’s say you reach out to someone you find attractive on a dating site, and they write back to you. If you want the backand-forth to lead to a phone call or date, the conversation must flow and create a spark of connection. That’s not easy for many autistic and neurodivergent people!
Many singles on dating sites are adept at infusing their messages with sarcasm, humor, implied meanings, and even flirtations. Unfortunately, many autistic and neurodivergent people misinterpret these, and they miss that they’re being flirted with. Essentially, they communicate on two different wavelengths, and the conversation can quickly fizzle out.
Similarly, we often see autistic and neurodivergent singles “peppering” their potential matches with multiple questions, which can feel like a digital interview more than a lighthearted attempt to get to know each other.
Singles don’t want to be pen pals
Even when conversations on the dating site between two singles do happen, they often go on too long. People tell us all the time that they’ve been messaging someone back and forth for weeks. We ask them, “Have you planned a date yet?” The answer is usually “no.”
Autistic and neurodivergent singles often feel that they need to get to know the other person digitally before they propose a date. Sometimes, the barrier is simply anxiety and fear. Either way, most people on dating sites want to get from “hello” to a date reasonably quickly so they can see if
there’s a spark. When an online conversation turns into a pen pal situation, the other person will likely lose interest.
What to do instead
From a place of honesty, while we don’t tell our clients to avoid online dating, we don’t teach it as a skill in our Social Life 360 program. As we see it, you can spend years learning the art of communicating online, and once you’ve mastered it, all it gets you is an in-person date. If you haven’t worked on your IRL (in real life) communication and dating skills, that date will not go very well.
So, rather than spending all your time and energy with online dating sites, we recommend these three steps instead:
1. Find groups and communities in your area that match your interests and become part of them. You’re more likely to spark a connection with someone who gets to know you in real life.
2. Have a plan for how to connect with people on a real human level. In our program, we help our clients build what we call a “Mental Library” of great questions to ask and answers to give. Do the same! Because the more people feel like you’re curious about who they are, the more likely they are to want to get to know you.
3. Have a mentor who’ll help you navigate the nuances of meeting new people and being the best version of yourself on dates. Maybe we’re the right mentors for you, or maybe it’s someone else, but either way, the beauty of having a mentor who knows how to navigate the social and dating scene is that you won’t spend years frustrated by trial and error.
Jeremy and Ilana Hamburgh are friendship and dating coaches who teach the strategies and skills that empower autistic and neurodivergent adults to find community, make friends, start dating, and build relationships. Ilana has over 16 years of experience as a special education teacher in New York City and is now the Director of Education for My Best Social Life. Jeremy has over 13 years of experience coaching autistic and neurodivergent adults on building the social lives they want and deserve. Jeremy and Ilana’s passion is their first-of-its-kind strategy and skills program, called Social Life 360. It’s an innovative program that teaches their autistic and neurodivergent clients the strategies and skills to confidently meet new people in new places, and they do it by decoding the social world using formulas, diagrams, and step-by-step processes that make more sense to a differently wired brain. The Social Life 360 program also provides clients with a warm, inclusive and exciting community that makes them feel embraced on their social journey. You can learn more about Jeremy, Ilana, and the Social Life 360 approach at MyBestSocialLife. com, and you can contact them about scheduling your family’s Strategy Session at Jeremy@MyBestSocialLife.com
Raising Children With Hyper-Empathy Can Add Complexity to Parenting
By Lia McCabe, MS
Have you ever felt so deeply for someone else that it almost felt like you were experiencing their emotions yourself? For many autistic individuals, empathy isn't just about understanding or connecting to someone else's emotions; it’s about truly feeling those emotions as if they are their own. This is hyper-empathy, where you don’t just empathize for someone; you experience their feelings so intensely that they blur with your own. It's as if you're living in their emotional world, feeling what they feel. Sometimes, this intensity is so overwhelming it can leave you emotionally exhausted, struggling to separate your feelings from theirs.
I’ve come to understand that empathy is not a flaw, as some might believe. It’s not a lack of empathy but a heightened form of it. It's an experience that challenges misconceptions about autism, particularly the stereotype that autistic individuals don't have empathy. In truth, some of us feel empathy too much. One memory that sticks with me is the time I saw a disabled child in severe distress—just watching their sadness was enough to leave me shaken and in tears. It wasn’t that I merely felt bad for them, it was as if their sadness had seeped into me, and for days afterward, I carried that weight. It wasn’t my own sorrow, yet it felt like mine, and that heaviness and feeling of injustice lingered, affecting my energy and mood.
This kind of emotional sensitivity can make everyday life and relationships challenging. When your emotions intertwine so deeply with others, it’s easy to lose track of where their feelings end and yours begin. It’s like carrying the weight of others' sorrow on your shoulders while your burdens press down until you’re lost beneath the heaviness of both. Sometimes, the only way to cope is to step back and take a break, but it’s difficult to shake the impact. This constant “feeling with” can make anxiety and emotional exhaustion feel like your constant companions. It’s a gift, but it can also feel like a burden.
Raising children with hyper-empathy adds layers of complexity to parenting. One of my daughters expresses her empathy openly, reaching out when others are in need. Her emotions flow freely, and she seems to understand the depth of her feelings. But my other child is different—she internalizes her empathy, carrying others’ emotions quietly. She may not show it, but you can see how she shifts, how her mood changes with the emotions of those around her. It’s as if she absorbs the feelings of others and keeps them inside, sometimes for days. I’ve seen how hyper-empathy can even extend to fictional worlds. A sad scene in a movie might bring her to tears, not because it’s real, but because she feels the sadness so intensely as if it’s happening to her.
This kind of emotional experience isn’t easy to manage, especially when it lingers, like an echo that refuses to fade.
With hyper-empathy, emotions don’t just come and go— they stay, sometimes long after the event has ended. It's similar to how meltdowns can continue to reverberate even after the triggering event is over. With hyper-empathy, it’s not just about your own emotions but also the emotional “leftovers” from others that you carry with you. Over time, this can lead to burnout. I’ve seen it happen where my child becomes so consumed with the struggles of others that she forgets to care for herself. It’s easy to forget your needs when absorbed in someone else’s pain.
This kind of emotional experience isn’t easy to manage, especially when it lingers, like an echo that refuses to fade.
Recognizing and learning
As a parent, it’s important to recognize when this is happening. I’ve learned to watch for the signs—how my children’s moods shift after social interactions or how they react to the emotions of others. I’ve noticed that social environments, like school, can intensify these feelings. So,
PARENTAL SUPPORT
I’ve had to develop ways to help them create boundaries, even if they don’t fully understand how to do it themselves. This often starts with creating a “safe space” at home, a place where they can go to decompress, where the emotions of others can be left behind, if only for a while. It’s also about teaching them to recognize physical sensations that accompany emotions, like a tight chest or a lump in their throat, so they can identify what’s happening before it becomes overwhelming.
The turning point for our family came when we learned about hyper-empathy. Naming it, understanding it, and seeing it for what it truly is—an intense and unique form of empathy— helped us shift our perspective. It allowed us to start creating strategies to help our children manage these feelings healthily. Over time, they’ve learned ways to regulate their emotions. We've used calming techniques like deep breathing or grounding exercises to help them process feelings before they spiral. This journey is ongoing, but it’s not about adding more pressure or feeling like we must fix everything. It’s about recognizing the signs and offering support.
One of the most effective ways I’ve found to support my children with hyper-empathy is through play therapy. Sometimes, talking directly about feelings is too much for them. But when we engage in activities they enjoy, such as building a puzzle together or playing with their favorite characters, it opens up space to gently explore emotions rather than pressuring them to talk about their own emotions right away. This method feels natural and less intimidating, allowing them to reflect on their feelings in a way that doesn’t feel forced.
Another important lesson has been helping my children find their own words to describe their emotions. It’s tempting to label their feelings for them, but it’s more empowering to let them articulate how they feel. Instead of saying, “You seem sad,” I try to give them the chance to explore their emotions without my input. It helps them feel understood, and it allows them to own their feelings.
For children with hyper-empathy, talking about the source of their emotions can sometimes make things worse. In those moments, I’ve found that sitting together in silence or doing
something comforting can be more effective. We don’t always have to talk things through. Sometimes, it’s enough just to be there, in quiet solidarity, without the need to fix anything.
Summing up
Parenting neurodivergent children, especially those with hyper-empathy, is often a journey of trial and error. We don’t have all the answers, but we stay engaged. We remain present. Even when things don’t go according to plan, our children know we’re there for them, and that’s what matters most. Ultimately, teaching empathy and self-care is at the heart of building a strong relationship. I want my children to understand their own limits, to recognize when things become too overwhelming, and to know it’s okay to set boundaries. Encouraging them to say, “This is too much for me right now” helps them develop a sense of self-worth and confidence. When they learn to care for themselves, they are better equipped to handle emotionally intense situations with resilience.
In the end, hyper-empathy is not a burden but a profound gift. It’s a deep connection to the world and others, one that can be both beautiful and challenging. As parents, our role is not to shield them from the weight of the world, but to help them navigate it with compassion, understanding, and the tools they need to thrive.
Lia McCabe, MS is an autistic advocate, podcast host, and proud mother of autistic children. As co-host of the Top 2% globally ranked Embracing Autism podcast, she shares her family's personal journey and insights to raise awareness and promote autism acceptance. Lia is also actively involved with AutismWish, supporting families in the autism community. Through her work, she is dedicated to informing the public, empowering parents, and fostering a more inclusive world for autistic individuals. �� autismwish.org
@autismwish
info@autismwish.org
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Helping My Daughter with an Intellectual Disability to Advocate
By Amy Kelly, MBA, MNM
When my daughter, Annie, was diagnosed with autism and an intellectual disability 20 years ago, one of the first things I worried about was how I could teach her to speak up for herself and become her own best advocate. Annie is now 22 years old and has agency! Some might even call her bossy. I am so proud of her and the young woman she has become.
While Annie is her own person, with her own personality traits, I believe I have been able to influence her advocacy skills to allow her to feel empowered and to feel seen. Below are a few ideas that have helped me over the last two decades:
• Teach the importance of privacy early: Privacy was not an intuitive skill for Annie. She had to learn, practice, and be reminded to keep her clothes on in the house, close the door while using the bathroom, and close her bedroom door while changing clothes (and is still learning to this day). In addition to demonstrating these skills with Annie, we placed visual cues and reminders in her bedroom and bathroom, which have been very helpful.
• Discuss feminine body parts and functions naturally and with their proper names: It is important for girls and women to learn about their bodies using proper body part names (e.g., breasts, vagina) from a young age. Sometimes, females with autism and/or intellectual disabilities are very literal or black-and-white about matters, so using “cutsie” names instead of official body part names can be confusing or misleading.
• Offer choices from an early age, and reinforce that decisions are her choice: Although Annie didn’t learn to speak until she was 10 years old, she was 20 when she said, “My choice. Annie’s choice.” This was music to my ears! I always offer options throughout the day. Examples include asking which color shirt she would like to wear, if she would like to take a walk or play at the park, or if she wants vanilla or chocolate ice cream for dessert. Even small things like, “Would you like to brush your teeth now or in five minutes?” help her understand she is entitled to have choices.
• Validate progress and success at all stages of life: Encouraging girls and women to keep trying, even if
they don’t succeed right away, is imperative to teaching empowerment, resilience, and perseverance. Some things might be harder to do or learn because of a disability—and that’s OK! Offering opportunities to continue trying while encouraging and offering praise goes a long way.
• Compliment her mind and creativity: One of Annie’s favorite things to hear and tell people is, “Annie is so smart!” Although she learns differently, Annie accomplishes things in her own creative way. Whether it’s something small, like offering to share with me unprompted, or bigger, like figuring out how to communicate something new by using tools and pictures, I always acknowledge how intelligent she is for these actions.
• Invite her to hang out with your female friends: Socialization is one of the trademark challenges that comes along with an autism diagnosis, so it can be challenging for autistic females to make friends. In our case, this is true. But Annie has learned that my girlfriends embrace her for who she is—and they love her. We always include Annie in our events. They have become a big part of Annie’s life. They make her feel included, and this helps her to feel truly seen.
• Thank her for what she does for you and your family: It’s a big deal when our girls and women accept responsibility for their actions (e.g., apologizing when appropriate) or contributing by taking on chores or helping around your home. Participating in these activities makes them feel empowered, despite any limitations, and helps them realize they are just as important as other family members. It is critical to acknowledge and thank them for their contributions, just as we would anyone else. It also models the behavior we want to see in return, inside or outside the family.
Helping Annie become an amazing self-advocate has been an incredible journey of learning, laughter, and love for the whole family. I hope these tips help as you and your family work together to empower your loved one.
Amy Kelly, MBA, MNM, is the mother of Danny, Annie, and Ryan. Annie is diagnosed with moderate to severe autism, verbal apraxia, intellectual and developmental disabilities, and general anxiety disorder. Amy is the National Director of Family Engagement for Devereux Advanced Behavioral Health, one of the nation’s oldest and largest nonprofit providers of behavioral healthcare, and serves as a family representative on several special needs boards in the community, locally, and nationally. In addition, she participates with other patients and families in efforts supported by the Autism Care Network and serves on an executive committee for the American Academy of Pediatrics to assist children and adolescents with special needs and the importance of quality care.
THEY DON'T DEFINE ME
By J. Edwards Holt
MENTAL ILLNESS DOESN’T HAVE TO DEFINE WHO YOU ARE. YOUR LIFE IS MORE THAN YOUR DIAGNOSIS.
Imagine battling not one but five mental health challenges every single day. In They Don’t Define Me, bestselling author and mental health advocate J. Edwards Holt invites readers into his world—a world shaped by Tourette’s syndrome, anxiety, depression, OCD, and ADHD. This deeply personal memoir unveils the silent battles of living with multiple mental illnesses, from childhood through adulthood, and reveals the hard-won strategies he’s developed to not just survive but thrive.
Through honest storytelling, Holt breaks down the stigma around mental health, sharing his journey with humor, vulnerability, and hope. For those facing similar struggles or supporting loved ones, They Don’t Define Me offers understanding, practical guidance, and, above all, a message of resilience: your challenges don’t have to define you.
J. Edwards Holt is a visionary author whose works span across genres, including science fiction, fantasy, and religion. Born in North Carolina, Holt's passion for writing was evident from an early age. After completing high school, he initially pursued a degree in education but soon realized his true calling lay in storytelling and the literary arts. Transitioning from his educational pursuits, Holt embraced his dream of becoming a novelist and children's author. Holt's journey into the literary world has been marked by success, with his works earning him the title of a bestselling author. As an ordained minister and mental health advocate, he devotes much of his free time to supporting the less fortunate in his community. Among his accolades, Holt has received the prestigious Golden Wizard Book Prize for his children's book The Jealous Little Ogre and recognition for his involvement in the Called to Intercede anthology, which topped the Amazon Best Seller List. One of Holt's most notable works, The Crossing: A Wayfarer's Chronicles, is a haunting narrative that showcases his ability to transport readers into otherworldly realms. An avid fan of science fiction and superhero movies, Holt's interests also include playing video games with friends and collecting comic books. These hobbies reflect in his creative process, often infusing his stories with elements of the fantastical and the heroic. His series, such as the Little Men, Big Treasures and Barrenworld trilogies, have captivated readers with their intricate world-building and epic narratives. J. Edwards Holt continues to be a prominent figure in the literary community, known for his engaging storytelling and his dedication to making a positive impact through his writing and humanitarian efforts.
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Benefits of Self-Employment for Youth and Adults with Disabilities
By Jagmeet Kaur Sangha, BCBA
It’s undeniable that individuals with disabilities face greater challenges in finding and retaining employment. These challenges can hinder their success in securing a preferred job, whether due to physical or mental limitations. In some cases, employers may fail to recognize the unique strengths and abilities that these individuals bring to the table.
However, recent data from the U.S. Department of Labor (2023) offers a glimmer of hope. It reveals a promising trend in business ownership among people with disabilities. The report highlights that around 9.5% of individuals with disabilities are self-employed business owners, a rate significantly higher than 6.1% among people without disabilities. This suggests that individuals with disabilities are more likely to embrace entrepreneurship, creating
their own opportunities rather than relying on traditional employment.
Owning a business can eliminate many of the common barriers faced in the job market, such as the struggle of job searching, conforming to workplace culture, and working in environments that may not be ideal.
The benefits of self-employment are clear: entrepreneurs can set their hours, create an environment that plays to their strengths, and ultimately design a career path that allows them to thrive. For individuals with disabilities, this offers a unique opportunity to focus on their specific talents and skills, which are often distinctive and highly valuable. If you build it, they will come!
Owning a business can eliminate many of the common barriers faced in the job market, such as the struggle of job searching, conforming to workplace culture, and working in environments that may not be ideal.
But when and how should families start exploring entrepreneurship opportunities for their children?
Exploring entrepreneurship
Caroline De Vega, a dedicated mother, is actively supporting the independence of her daughter, Polly, and other local youth by providing hands-on job training through the pop-up café she runs out of her garage. This unique initiative offers valuable work experience while fostering entrepreneurship skills and helping young people gain confidence and independence in a real-world setting.
In an interview with Caroline, she shared what inspired her to start Polly’s Cafe, its mission, and some general tips for families interested in starting something similar.
It was Polly who inspired me to start this endeavor. Our story centers on how she interacts with her environment (home and community). Each child can learn, and we, as adults, are responsible for instilling the core values that will empower a child to contribute to our society. Polly has a genetic condition called DiGeorge syndrome, as well as a diagnosis of autism and sensory processing disorder, and a diagnosis of epilepsy. She uses a non-verbal form of communication through her augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) device. These things can make it seem already daunting to think about the future, but Polly's Cafe is all about meeting individuals where they are.
How do you see Polly's Café helping Polly develop essential skills for her future, and what specific skills are you hoping she will gain from this experience?
By providing Polly with a structured environment, she can easily navigate the workstation, knowing I am there to support her independence. Emotional regulation can be
challenging among teens, but Polly knows what she can and cannot do, how much she can handle, and has access to her sensory/self-regulation tools when needed.
More than just the basic skills of taking orders using the AAC device, making simple coffee using the Keurig machine, restocking supplies, and cleaning and organizing workstations, I am more focused on character building. Core values such as patience in learning how to operate a machine, perseverance in finishing a task, respect towards peer workers, and prioritizing commitment to work are at the core of this endeavor, hence our tagline: “Serving Ordinary Coffee with an Extraordinary Heart.”
What main goals do you hope to achieve with Polly's Café beyond offering job training?
Our mission is to provide an inclusive environment where individuals with and without autism (and special needs) are empowered to train and work together to serve the community.
Our vision is to create a community that values neurodiversity with respect and dignity through a culture of awareness, acceptance, and action.
Every barista in the cafe can be encouraged to create their cafe with their families' support and personalize it, for example, Balian's Cafe or Donovan's Cafe. Polly's Cafe is an educational space that empowers people in the
community to reconsider thinking about having a diagnosis as something limiting or wrong; rather, it is the baseline of doing something good for others.
How have the local youth, including Polly, responded to the opportunity to gain hands-on experience through the café? Have you seen any personal or professional growth in them?
We are in our pioneering adventure to work with individuals who are primarily non-verbal or have some vocals as well, and honestly, Polly has enjoyed being around her teen friends, Baristas Donovan, Balian, and Keira. They can take turns serving coffee with our support as Barista Moms (Anh, Ria, and Michele). Seeing their smiles when they receive their guests' affirmations is priceless. They feel valued and worthy and that they matter. Their selfconfidence grows, and they enjoy doing their tasks. When their unique potentials are celebrated, they can dream big for themselves.
How do you plan to expand or evolve Polly’s Café? Are there any specific projects or initiatives you’re hoping to implement?
In the future, we hope to be an after-school or adult-day program for our children. We want to educate, not just exist. We plan to continue our pop-up booths at different local marketplace events in the community, partner up with a local restaurant to hold Autism Awareness and Acceptance events, and host holiday events. We have featured young bakers like Haley's Delights in our pop-up booths, and we plan to continue to promote an inclusive space where typically developing youth like Haley can be peers with our children. Our dream is big; perhaps a food truck or an actual space for Polly's Cafe? Why not?!
What advice would you give other parents or community members interested in starting similar initiatives to promote youth entrepreneurship and independence?
My advice is to follow your child's lead. Polly nodded "yes" when I asked if she wanted to become a business owner. She created the menu using her AAC device: coffee, hot chocolate, tea, and, of course, desserts like donuts, cookies, and cupcakes. She picked her own logo out of the three samples I created. Her "voice" matters to me, and she knows her main purpose is to serve her community. Another thing is to know you cannot do it on your own. Bring your closest friends in and collaborate. Work on their strengths and build them up as well.
We hope this article has inspired you and your family to explore employment opportunities for your loved one from a fresh and innovative perspective. To get more tips and ideas, contact info@behaviorpivot.com.
Jagmeet Kaur Sangha, BCBA is a Board-Certified Behavior Analyst. For over a decade, Jagmeet has worked in homes and schools, providing applied behavior analysis (ABA) services to children, supporting educators, and offering parent training consultations to caregivers. She is invested in educating the community and helping families and individuals receive top-quality behavior intervention services. Jagmeet uses the science of ABA to promote well-being and advance individuals, organizations, and society through connection, education, and behavior science.
Her organization, Behavior Pivot Consulting, works with employees and employers to create neuro-inclusive communities within the workplace by focusing on identifying and building on individual strengths, promoting self-advocacy, and offering person-centered solutions related to workplace wellness.
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Strategies to Help People with Learning Differences to “Chill Out”
By Karen Kaplan, MS
Iwas waiting in line for my cappuccino this morning when one of the baristas I’d grown to know stood at the coffee house front door with her arms loaded with several bags of ice. I moved quickly to open the door, and we all greeted Maddie with words of help. Then it was joke time, and I added, well, she was just “chilling out.” Then I paused and thought. Most everyone knows what chilling out means, but do those with learning differences know how to chill out? Do they know how to create an environment to chill out in and induce chilling out? Here are some ideas that might help:
1. Define “chill out.” Webster's Dictionary states that it means to calm down or go easy. Other words for it are cool, settle down, quiet, hush, or pipe down.
2. Now, have a conversation about why to develop chillingout strategies. We all know we do not problem-solve well when we worry all day, feel frustrated for long periods, or are overstimulated or over-aroused. This can lead to sleepless nights, more anxiety, and health issues. So, it is a good idea to develop a bag of chilling tricks.
3. Find some books that tell stories about chilling out and read them to your individual. Some suggestions: I Calm Down, Little Monkey Calms Down, Chill: Stress-Reducing Techniques for a More Balanced, Peaceful You.
Most everyone knows what chilling out means, but do those with learning differences know how to chill out?
Now, find some strategies:
• Watch something funny. Laughter is often a great way to find chill.
• Teach them to evaluate their activities. Are they over multi-tasking? Reduce tasks.
• Suggest they schedule time, maybe 15 minutes a day, and write out all their worries.
• Buy some coloring books. Perhaps ones that show your favorite characters or interests and spend a little time coloring. Sometimes doodling helps. Book suggestions: The Mindfulness Coloring Book: Relaxing, Anti-Stress Nature Patterns and Soothing Designs.
• Try yoga poses and/or meditation Asanas for Autism and Special Needs, Asanas for Autism and Special Needs.
• Bake to distract yourself, and then chill out with some yummy cookies, breads, or pies.
• Listen to their favorite music. Perhaps make a playlist that helps them chill out.
• Have them play fun games with a friend, sibling, or parent.
• Shower or soak in a tub of Epsom salts can help.
• Chew gum. Squeeze a squishy. Here are some sensory tools for chilling out.
• Light some favorite smelling incense sticks or candles and breathe.
• Count down from 10.
• Try the Insight Timer App for meditation by words or music.
• Turn off all electric devices for 30 minutes and nap, clean out a closet, and organize a drawer.
• Write out a list of all accomplishments.
• Make a gratitude list. Note things, people, and times you are grateful for.
• Take a walk in nature, along the beach or lake.
• Complete a puzzle.
• Create a space that supports calm in their room or their home.
• A massage could help if they are comfortable with touch.
• Visit a museum or special bookstore.
• Go to a favorite café, order a special hot or cold drink, and sip slowly.
• Go for a car ride, bike ride, or run.
• Take a dog for a walk.
• Try gardening.
• Engage in some art projects (drawing, painting, woodworking, or clay) to relax, disengage from worries, and chill.
Karen Kaplan, MS, is a native San Franciscan. She completed her bachelor’s and master’s degrees in speech pathology and audiology at Arizona State University, Tempe, Arizona. She minored in special education and obtained her speech therapist and special education credentials in California. Karen worked as a speech therapist for schools for 20 years before opening her own residential and education program for students with autism. She worked in credential programs at Sacramento State University as well as UC Davis and spent 20 years directing private schools for those with autism and similar learning challenges.
Karen founded a non-profit, Offerings, which helps cultures globally to understand those with developmental challenges. For seven years, she founded and facilitated an autism lecture series and resource fair in Northern California. Karen still facilitates an annual Autism Awesomeness event. She is currently consulting and helping families, schools, and centers for children, teens, and adults. Karen has authored three books: Reach Me Teach Me: A Public School Program for the Autistic Child; A Handbook for Teachers and Administrators, On the Yellow Brick Road: My Search for Home and Hope for the Child with Autism, and Typewriting to Heaven…and Back: Conversations with My Dad on Death, Afterlife and Living (which is not about autism but about having important conversations with those we love). �� karenkaplanasd.com
How Sensitivities and Routines Influence Food Preferences for Neurodivergent Individuals
By Kadin McElwain
Last month, after my usual morning routine, I had to sit down with my family and have breakfast. That morning, we all had healthy protein pancakes made with whole oats. I’m not the biggest fan of oats, nuts, peanut butter, and the like, so I hesitated to eat the meal. But after 22 minutes, I built up the courage to gulp it down without puking. This little scenario got me thinking: How do sensitivities affect the food choices of neurodivergent people?
Well, after doing some research, I found that the hypersensitivities of those with autism can impact their food choices. For example, the autistic individual might avoid a tomato due to its squishy texture. In my case, I was hesitant to try oats, and I still despise nuts and peanut butter due to their respective textures. But these sensitivities aren’t just limited to texture. Taste, smell, and sight can also be factors in the food choices of those with autism.
The term for this is called food aversion. Food aversion isn’t limited to textures, taste, or sight of the food. Some aspects of food aversion can include needing to have specific eating routines at mealtimes. For example, the individual may prefer to eat at a particular time, have the food on a specific plate, eat the food with certain silverware, or have a particular brand of food to have their meal. I like to go out to eat once a week, and I strongly prefer homemade macaroni and cheese over the Kraft brand and anything similar to it, mostly due to the taste and texture, which fall hand-in-hand with the routine I like to have. But the new question is how can we approach food aversions without stressing out the neurodivergent individual?
Supporting individuals with food aversions
My suggestion is to be patient with the individual when
approaching food aversions. Urge them to try a new food at least once a week at the dinner table. If they don’t like it, just let it go. In life, it’s always better to choose your battles. However, some may argue that having food aversions means older neurodivergent individuals might not get a nutritionally balanced diet. So, how should that be approached?
You can still have a balanced diet without shoving foods you dislike down your throat, both figuratively and literally. For me, while I don’t like tree nuts, peanuts, or oats, I’ve been working on having more vegetables, kicking some caffeinated beverages, and limiting how much I eat in a single sitting. The point is you can eat what you want without compromising your sensitivities to certain foods. You'll be set for life as long as you’re eating healthy. So the next time you see a food you might be sensitive to, just remember that you don’t have to put it in your body if you don’t want to. It’s all about being healthy in the end.
Kadin McElwain is an autistic college student, writer, and activist on a mission to raise as much awareness about autism as possible. During his life, his capabilities were questioned due to who he was. But thanks to a supportive set of parents, he proved the naysayers wrong.
KATE MAKES IT GREAT! Self Regulation Tips for Parents
By Kate C. Wilde
Iam noticing more and more social media posts advising parents that their anxiety will increase the anxiety of their children. The message is that if you calm down, your child will calm down. While there is more to it than just calming down, that statement has a deep sense of truth. Our children, no matter their neuro-type, can often mirror our anxiety levels. Our loved ones on the spectrum can feel our emotional state with surprising clarity and intensity. If we can lower our anxiety, that will help our loved ones begin to lower theirs. If we raise our anxiety, their level rises.
However, “calming down” is easier said than done. I get many questions from parents asking me how to do that when their child is in the middle of a meltdown or is hitting themselves, or they have just been given some major news and are trying their best to digest and process it. In those circumstances, you may feel like it is impossible not to feel anxiety, worry, or be scared. Although it is totally understandable why you may feel this way, it is not inevitable, and it is certainly possible to create new pathways in your mind and body that will help you when you need it most.
Below are two steps you can take daily to strengthen your ability to regulate yourself and feel peace even in the most challenging times with your children. Yes, they take commitment, practice, and dedication, but not much time, and will make a tremendous difference in your internal experience.
• Practice strengthening interoception: Interoception is the brain's ability to detect and decipher signals from the body—the mind’s ability to detect and decipher signals from the nervous system. The signals are internal sensations in the body, including heart rate, breathing rate, hunger/fullness, coldness/hotness,
tiredness/wakefulness, pain, needing to use the bathroom, and emotions. For example:
• Is your heart racing, steady, fast, slow, etc.?
• Are you hungry? Thirsty?
• Are you tired?
• Are you annoyed? Furious?
• Do you need to use the bathroom?
We often do not listen to these useful, helpful signals our body sends to us. We have these signals because we can course-correct and change something to become regulated again, but we have to notice them to course-correct. Unfortunately, our “must-do” society has taught us to ignore, suppress, stamp out, and override these signals. It is this suppression that leads to high anxiety and us having our meltdowns. A simple thing you can do to strengthen it is just to check in and listen to what your body tells you.
My colleague, Raun K. Kaufman, and I call it a “Simple InnerNet Login.”
• Close your eyes.
• Put your hand on your chest
• Ask yourself the following questions:
• How is my stomach feeling? Tight, hungry, full, bloated?
• What is my heart rate? Fast, slow, elevated?
• How is my muscle tightness? Jaw, shoulders, lower back, etc.?
• What emotion am I feeling?
This takes just two minutes and can fit into your already busy life. You can do it while waiting to pick up your child from school, therapy, or dance class, in the bathroom, when you get up in the morning, or when you fall asleep. You can do it as much as you like, but we recommend it at least twice daily.
Why? Just the act of taking a moment to listen to your body can reduce your stress levels. Just noticing that your stomach or jaw is tight can help your body release it. Noticing that you are frustrated at your partner or mother can allow you to talk to them about it before it blows up into a loud, painful argument.
That is what strengthening interoception is: just paying attention. Not trying to change but tuning in with loving and caring for yourself. This alone can bring down your stress levels. Some may be thinking: “It can’t be that simple!” Well, I believe that the most useful and effective things in life are simple. If it were too complicated, I would be a little suspicious. Try it. You have nothing to lose and a whole lot of peace to gain. This act is one step towards creating more regulation for yourself, allowing you to have more resources within you when your child is having their meltdown. It starts here, in strengthening your interoception.
• Letting go of repetitive negative thinking. As you strengthen your interoception, you will probably become more aware of the repetitive negative thoughts you might have about your situation or that of your loved one. For example:
• What happens if they still have meltdowns when they are taller and stronger than me? How will I cope?”
• My life is never going to get any better.
• Nobody helps me; I am all alone with this. I never catch a break.
• I am not good at this; I am a bad parent.
Maybe you do not have any of the thoughts above, but we can all think of thoughts we have on repeat. We call this rumination. We have identified four types of repetitive thinking that cause mental, emotional, and physical dysregulation, which we have playfully nicknamed The Four Horsemen of the Neuropocalyse.
They are:
• Futurizing: Imagining a terrible future What if nobody at the new school likes my child?’ What if I get really sick?” What if my child gets sick? What if my partner leaves me? What if I make a fool of myself?.
• Catastrophizing: Making a little thing into a big thing My headache might be a brain tumor. My daughter
hasn’t gotten back to me; she might be dead. I was late for work; my career at this company is doomed. My friend got annoyed with me; maybe they hate me now.
• Rehearsing: Replaying an unpleasant interaction and either going through what you could have/should have said or going through what you could say next time.
• Revenging: Thinking about how someone “wronged” you and imagining how you can get back at them, show them how good you are, and make them feel sorry/ guilty/regretful.
The first step to releasing these distressing thoughts on repeat is to catch them and categorize them. This means noticing you are ruminating and then nailing down which of The Four Horsemen of the Neuropocalypse you are doing. Are you futurizing, catastrophizing, rehearsing, or revenging? Some of you will have only one type of rumination, some a couple. My main one was Rehearsing.
Why? Because it helps us not to take these thoughts too seriously. It helps us remember they are just thoughts; they are not real, true or useful to us, all they do is add to our stress and anxiety levels. If we can start to catch ourselves doing one, then interrupt it by saying, “Oh, which one am I doing.” it immediately stops us from ruminating. The more we can do this, the less and less time we will spend ruminating and creating stress and dysregulation in our bodies. This takes practice and does not happen overnight, but if you commit to doing it each day, week, and month, your negative thinking will reduce, and your well-being will enormously increase, giving you more inner resources to help your child when needed.
These are just two simple things you can do each day to help keep yourself regulated. It is challenging to help your child regulate if you are starting from a dysregulated place. To learn more regulation techniques, go to https://www. safetoconnectapproach.com/mental-emotional-well-being.
Let me know how it goes and keep sending your questions to editor@exceptionalneedstoday.com. I'll see you in the next issue.
Kate C. Wilde has spent the past 30 years working with children and adults on the autism spectrum and their families, as well as with therapists, educators, and schools. She is the author of the acclaimed books Autism Abracadabra: Seven Magic Ingredients to Help Develop Your Child's Interactive Attention Span, Autistic Logistics: A Parent's Guide to Tackling Bedtime, Toilet Training, Tantrums, Hitting, and Other Everyday Challenges, and The Autism Language Launcher: A Parent's Guide to Helping Your Child Turn Sounds and Words into Simple Conversations, and is renowned for the well-attended courses she teaches throughout the U.S., Europe, and Asia. Her YouTube autism quick-tip videos, delivered with her trademark infectious enthusiasm, have garnered a worldwide following. �� www.katecwilde.com/ �� www.autismcrisisturnaround.com/
Switching to Self-Paced Learning in Special Education Classrooms
By Andrew Meunier
Ifirst switched to a self-paced learning model in my special education Algebra 1 class in 2021. My students were a diverse bunch whose general deficits in math had been compounded by the fog of pandemic schooling. However, I was pleasantly surprised by how well self-paced learning worked with them and in several other inclusion classrooms I co-taught that same year. I have been using this model exclusively with my students ever since and believe it has particular benefits for students with disabilities (SWD).
What is self-paced learning?
I initially learned about the self-paced and mastery-based learning model from an interview with Modern Classrooms Project (MCP) co-founder Kareem Farah. MCP provides free materials and resources for teachers interested in pursuing this teaching style and a virtual mentorship program for those who want extra support. With MCP’s help, I learned how to deliver instruction to students using short, focused videos, which my co-teacher and I made ourselves. We created a classroom where students could move through the curriculum at their own pace, meeting requirements for mastery of each lesson before starting the next one (they do this by taking short assessments called “mastery checks”).
We created a classroom where students could move through the curriculum at their own pace, meeting requirements for mastery of each lesson before starting the next one.
Self-paced learning and special education
Most of my students receive special education services because they have been diagnosed with a learning disability or “other health impairment” (often attention-deficit/ hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or autism). I have used the MCP model in both self-contained classrooms (all the students have disabilities, and there is a single special educator leading instruction) and inclusion classrooms (some students have disabilities, and a general educator
and a special educator lead instruction). I have found self-paced/mastery-based learning to have the following benefits in both settings:
• Students who have struggled with school (most of the students in our classes) often don’t learn well from a traditional lecture. With pre-recorded instructional videos, the teacher is freed up to spend most of their time talking with individual students. Ideally, students come to us with a baseline understanding and completed notes to use as a reference. At that point, we can build on what they gleaned from the video by answering questions, giving more examples, and correcting misconceptions. This sort of individualized instruction wouldn’t be possible in a lecture-based classroom.
• Teachers who have taught in an inclusion classroom know that the differences in student ability can be sizable. Self-paced learning allows more advanced students to learn alongside those who need more support. Faster learners are never bored and can even access extension lessons. This was my single most striking observation after a few months of self-paced learning: a surprising number of students are being held back by a traditional teaching approach. This would be especially true in our inclusion classrooms, where vast learning gaps exist.
• For a self-paced classroom to function, the teacher must invest significant energy in developing systems that allow students to get what they need when they need it. The result is a structured classroom that benefits struggling learners. For example, within a few weeks of starting self-paced learning, we built (out of necessity) clear labels for all materials, seamless integration with learning management systems, paper and digital access to materials, and an accessible digital tracker where any student or stakeholder could check on progress through the course. This organized learning environment generally benefits SWD. As a bonus, it allows for easier support from the constellation of other services that SWD tends to have. For example, a student with a resource room service can easily access videos and notes there (with a short primer for the teacher on how the system works).
• Managing the hurly-burly of a classroom of students doing self-paced learning can be overwhelming, especially with a large group. Since practice and checks for mastery are often scored in real-time in our inclusion classrooms, we are continuously talking with individual students. Educators worldwide have used self-paced learning in many settings, and there are ways to make it work even in a large class with a single teacher. However, although our inclusion classes are somewhat
large, two of us work with students. This is a great advantage when implementing self-paced learning in such a setting.
• Our inclusion classes are populated with some of our most vulnerable students. Attendance and transience (frequently changing schools) are serious issues. Selfpaced learning won’t fix the myriad problems students with poor attendance face. However, students who have been absent are able to pick up where they left off when they return to school, working on material they are familiar with rather than being thrust into a unit that they are unprepared for. New students can be easily started at the beginning of a unit so they can build the skills they need on a more natural timeline.
There are certainly challenges that using the self-paced model presents for SWD, but they can be overcome with careful planning. It is essential to fully understand
students’ Individualized Education Programs (IEP) so that all necessary accommodations are provided. For example, several students get filled-in copies of our note shells. Students who get test accommodations may need these for mastery checks. The biggest obstacle to success with self-paced learning is that almost all of our students are unaccustomed to being in the driver’s seat regarding their education. All students need clear expectations, modeling, and regular reinforcement when trying self-paced learning for the first time.
My co-teacher and I find it hard to imagine returning to our old teaching methods. Self-paced learning has unlocked benefits for our students with disabilities. Frankly, we both enjoy our jobs more than we did before (this is primarily due to having hugely more meaningful interactions with students). Setting up our modern classroom was a sizable investment in time and energy, but the rewards for us professionally and for our students have been worth it.
Andrew Meunier is a mathematics and special education teacher in Glens Falls, NY. He has been teaching in all sorts of classrooms since 2008. When he’s not doing that, he likes riding bikes and taking long walks up mountains (preferably muddy or snowy ones). He writes about his experiences in the classroom and the outdoors at www.dustdisciple.com.
THE BENEFITS OF FAMILY-BASED NATURE ACTIVITIES FOR PEOPLE OF ALL ABILITIES
By Amy Wagenfeld, PhD, OTR/L, SCEM, EDAC, FAOTA
Asa proud and self-proclaimed nature enthusiast, I was recently thinking about how I got interested in nature and what drives others to find this passion. One way is through childhood experiences. Parents and caregivers who love nature and involve their children in outdoor activities tend to shape children who love nature when they are young, and when they grow up, this connection endures. I like to think of this as an intergenerational transmission of nature… the love of nature is passed from generation to generation. Family-Based Nature Activities (FBNA) describe what families do together outside (Izenstark & Ebata, 2022). The benefits of doing FBNA include better communication, improved physical and emotional health, a better sense of environmental stewardship (nurturing and caring for our beautiful planet), and just having fun!
First, I know you are juggling complex and busy schedules, and my request to add nature time to the mix is likely inducing some groans. But please hear me out. Even the briefest 10-20 minutes in nature improves health and wellbeing. We feel calmer, more resilient, stronger, and happier after experiencing nature. With these benefits in mind and the spirit of FBNA, let’s talk about several simple ways to bring nature into your family routine. All the activities are easily adaptable to meet your needs. Of course, if you have more time to devote to being in nature, by all means, do it!
Sunset viewing
Take the time to go outside or watch from a window and witness how the majesty of an awe-inspiring sunset can take your breath away. You may spend as long or short an amount of time watching the palette of colors grace the sky and the sun's slow descent behind the horizon. Talk about the colors and shapes you see.
Dining alfresco
If you have a place for the family to sit outside and enjoy a meal or snack, be it on a balcony, patio, porch, or garden, give it a go. Food might taste much better when eaten outside. I suggest you do not dine outside when little or no shade is available. Be comfortable!
Walk and roll
Cruise the neighborhood, noting what you see, such as flowers, birds, insects, and trees. You can get fancy and keep a log of what you see and what has changed since the last walk.
Hideaways
Use a tent or be creative with a sheet and create a fun place to cozy outside to talk, laugh, and share stories.
Plant a seed
For those of you who have or aspire to grow plants, involve your children. Studies show that children who help grow edible food like fruit and vegetables are more willing to try them.
Rake leaves
While some children (and adults) might think of this as an endless chore, putting the right spin on it can be fun. Huge piles of leaves are fun to touch, jump in, or roll over and ideal for exploration and discussion. For example, what kinds of leaves do you see, and what are their colors, shapes, and textures?
Hug a tree
Find a tree in your yard or neighborhood, hug it, and thank it for being strong and helping provide shade and comfort.
References
Izenstark, D., & Ebata, A. T. (2022). Why families go outside: An exploration of mothers’ and daughters’ family-based nature activities. Leisure Sciences, 44(5), 559-577. https://doi.org/10.1080/01490 400.2019.1625293
These very simple activities are merely suggestions for starting your own FBNA plan. Build on these ideas and enjoy family time in nature! Amy Wagenfeld, PhD, OTR/L, SCEM, EDAC, FAOTA, is Principal of Amy Wagenfeld | Design and Lecturer in the PostProfessional Occupational Therapy Doctoral Program at Boston University. She is a Fellow of the American Occupational Therapy Association and the Center for Health Systems and Design at Texas A&M University and holds evidencebased design accreditation and certification (EDAC) through the Center for Health Design, specialty certification in environmental modifications (SCEM) through the American Occupational Therapy Association, and certification in healthcare garden design through the Chicago Botanical Garden. Amy presents and publishes widely on topics relating to access to nature and is co-author of the award-winning book Therapeutic Gardens: Design for Healing Spaces, published by Timber Press. When not designing gardens, researching, or developing garden and nature programs, Amy can be found happily digging in the dirt. �� amywagenfelddesign.com �� workjournal.org/nurture-through-nature
Once loudly portending my nuptial which came true….and it wasn’t just fate
For this innocent child so wracked with pain
Saw beyond the societal norm
And recognized that love is love
Seeing the future in a much purer form
I would love to say the angel lives on
To bless this world today
But his frail and painful body and mind
On earth just could no longer stay
Forever blessed we will always be
His blessings we can never repay
We know his love lives on forever
For eternity and a day
Gary Shulman, MS, Ed has spent a lifetime supporting vulnerable families and children. He began his career working with children with and without disabilities in an inclusive Head Start program in Brooklyn, NY. He then transitioned to becoming the Special Needs and Early Childhood Coordinator for the Brooklyn Children's Museum for 10 years. His passion for advocacy grew as he worked more and more with parents of children with disabilities. For over 24 years, he has advocated for the needs of these parents as the Social Services and Training Director for Resources for Children with Special Needs, Inc. in NYC. During the last years of his working life, Mr. Shulman served as a private Special Needs Consultant, conducting hundreds of training sessions throughout NYC and beyond to help parents and professionals find and access the services and systems required to facilitate maximizing the potential of their children with disabilities. Now retired in Arlington, VA, but still supporting vulnerable families, serving as an Advisory Commissioner for the Arlington Partnership for Children, Youth and Families. Gary continues his workshop presentations virtually and now also enjoys sharing the poetry that he passionately writes with the goal of leaving this world a better place one word at a time.
Ner Chat Redefines Virtual Communication for Individuals with Speech and Hearing Challenges
By Dylan Makani
Speech is more than just sound—it’s identity, agency, and power. But for millions of individuals with speech and hearing impairments, technology has often been a barrier rather than a bridge. At Ner Chat, we set out to change that—and we just did.
The story: A Zoom call that changed everything
It started with a simple Zoom meeting. I was connecting with an AAC device user eager to try out our new platform at Ner Chat. She was proactive and determined—but communication was a struggle. Despite her best efforts, I often had to ask her to repeat herself. The conversation was draining for both of us, highlighting how broken remote communication still is for people using AAC devices. It felt like a glimpse into a much bigger issue—one that couldn’t be ignored.
Later, I spoke with a teletherapy provider about what it’s like delivering remote AAC services. Her answer? Makeshift camera setups, endless tech improvisation, and frustrated
speech-language pathologists (SLPs). This wasn’t just inconvenient—it was unacceptable. Especially in an age of technology, where we should hold ourselves to a higher standard of care.
Talking to users: listening to the real experts
We dug deeper by talking directly to SLPs, educators, and AAC users. They shared stories of missed opportunities, exhausting telehealth sessions, and tech workarounds that felt like patching a leaky boat.
Their feedback shaped every decision we made. We didn’t want to “fix” the system—we wanted to build something new, intuitive, and empowering.
What we built: seamless AAC integration for Zoom
The result? Ner Chat’s game-changing assistive technology platform, which is directly embedded into Zoom. No more side cameras, hand-held devices, or relying on caregivers. Our integration transforms AAC devices from external tools into fully interactive communication systems.
Why it matters:
• Telehealth without translators: Patients can advocate for themselves during virtual medical consultations without relying on caretakers or translators.
• Inclusive teletherapy: Remote evaluations and therapy sessions are seamless, replacing awkward setups with
smooth, dynamic lessons powered by AI-driven smart displays.
• Personalized communication: With access to over 50,000 curated images, Google Image search, and custom uploads, every user’s experience is tailored to their needs.
How it’s impactful: beyond tech, toward true inclusion
Our mission goes beyond functionality—it’s about restoring autonomy, dignity, and opportunity. By bridging the gap between AAC users and the world, Ner Chat is making inclusive communication a reality.
With secure, scalable, and customizable features, we’re creating a future where everyone’s voice matters—where no one is left behind in the digital age.
As virtual communication becomes essential, our integration with Zoom is more than a tech upgrade—it’s a lifeline, a platform for advocacy, and a tool for unlocking human potential.
“We believe that everyone deserves the power to connect, express, and advocate for themselves—without barriers,” said Dylan, Co-Founder of Ner Chat. “Our integration with Zoom makes that belief a reality.”
Dylan Makani is a recent graduate of Vanderbilt University, where he earned degrees in Neuroscience and Medicine, Health, and Society. With a robust background in neuroscience research from both Columbia and Vanderbilt Universities, he bridges the gap between scientific inquiry and practical application. His professional journey began as an investment banking analyst at MM Dillon & Co., focusing on the healthcare sector, before advancing to an investment analyst role at Vertica Capital Partners, specializing in software investments. �� nerchat.com LINKEDIN linkedin.com/in/dylan-makani/
The Amazing Connection Between Animals, Nature, and Autism
By Alyson Beytien, BCBA, MS, LBA
Myyoungest son was seven when he said his first word. “Go.” He wanted the horse he was riding to move.
I believe there is something in the connection between animals, nature, and autism. It is a powerful connection that can provide peace, motivation to speak, or preferred movement.
The combination of the outdoors and animals seems to be a happy place for many autistic children. The hippotherapy
(equine-assisted therapy) my son engaged in proved to be the environment and motivation he needed to say a word. I knew he loved to be outside; frankly, he escaped our house so many times to access the outdoors it was a fairly easy preference assessment! But the horse riding surprised me. He didn’t appear excited or happy, but he got on the horse once we added reinforcement to wearing a helmet. Then we eventually wouldn’t move the horse unless he said something–anything! He screamed and hit and kicked me, but he wasn’t getting off the horse. And then he said, “Go.’”
Well, the reality was that he screamed “GO!” So, we led the horse around the paddock. And then the horse riding became the inherent reinforcement for more words.
An exciting collaboration
Cultivating Hope Farms and Beyond Behavior ABA services are using this powerful connection to teach functional social, language, and living skills starting in February 2025.
The farm/animal environment provides opportunities to work on skills with natural reinforcement. Cultivating Hope Farm is Iowa’s first designated Care Farm, which provides opportunities to engage with sheep, goats, horses, cows, pigs, chickens, rabbits, cats, and a dog to provide peace, safety, and joy. The barn on the property provides the environment to engage in learning and socialization–and that’s where Beyond Behavior steps in with the evidence-
THERAPIES
based, researched format of Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) to support the learning.
Beyond Behavior ABA Services will use the natural environment to teach important life skills such as following directions, consistent routines, verbal/varied communication, and social interactions. Clients will have the one-to-one staff required to implement effective ABA and the opportunity to learn their skills in a calm, positive environment. For example, clients may work on goals to follow two-step directions by feeding the pigs or touching a cow. Clients will have access to indoor activities such as wall climbing, art, structured language activities, and more.
The collaboration between Cultivating Hope Farms and Beyond Behavior ABA is the first of its kind in Iowa. Interested families may contact either entity on their website for more information.
Alyson Beytien, BCBA, MS, LBA, is a popular speaker, trainer, and consultant with 30 years of experience working with individuals with autism. She is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst and Executive Director of Beyond Behavior ABA with 10 clinics in Iowa. Alyson is the author of Autism Everyday, which won the 2012 Autism Society of America Literary Work of the Year. Alyson is the proud parent of three young men with autism. In her spare time (is there such a thing?), she likes to read, quilt, listen to podcasts and is cheerfully addicted to Diet Coke. �� beyondaba.org �� cultivatinghopefarms.org
Education Through Music: Teaching Students with Autism Spectrum Disorder
By Aygul Hecht, BS, PhD
Inthe US public school system, some students attend general education classes, while others may receive instructions designed for students with special needs.
Today, public school educators must adapt to educate students with disabilities (SWDs) in the least restricted environment settings. “Federal law requires that SWDs be educated in separate settings only when the nature or severity of their disabilities is such that the regular educational environment is not practical, even with the use of supplementary aids and services.” (Overview of Special Education in California, 2013)
Special education teachers are trained and educated to teach students with different disabilities, including autism spectrum disorder (ASD), but meanwhile, some other teachers, like music or art teachers, face problems due to a lack of training and knowledge of teaching students with special needs. In this article, I will briefly describe what kind of problems I faced when I started teaching students with severe ASD who arguably were not qualified to be mainstreamed and why I created and established a methodology to teach music to exceptional students successfully. I will highlight only one aspect of my music lessons where I focused on teaching steady beats and rhythm to students with severe ASD.
Introduction
I got excited when I accepted the offer from one of the largest and wealthiest school districts in Orange County, CA. Having more than 10 years of experience teaching music to elementary-level students, I was eager to share my music experience with students in a traditional classroom setting. However, instead, I was asked to teach “SAC” classes, K-3. When I asked around what “SAC” stands for, no one was able to tell me until I met my first class and asked the special education teacher, who told me that SAC stands for “Structured Autism Class,” which was a new name for the special education class.
My first month of teaching SAC classes was a complete disaster. The younger students were running out of class, sticking their heads out of the window, wandering around the room, touching everything, and making noise. Some of the older students sat down quietly but showed no interest in music. Some students cried or made loud noises when they entered the music class. I felt like I was a failure, even though I was diligently making my lesson plans with a selection of songs and music examples appropriate to the age and grade of the students. I admit I saw no improvement within a few months.
I approached the administrative staff and personally requested training. Their answer was “Orff Workshops” or ‘Kodaly Workshops.” Attending “Orff” and “Kodaly” classes did not meet my needs because these workshops were designed only for teaching music in the traditional classroom setting.
After a few months, I deleted all my lesson plans with the sign “IT DOES NOT WORK!” and I started designing new lesson plans from scratch. I visited public libraries and read all available materials and books about children with autism spectrum disorder. However, to my disappointment, I found very few materials on the topic I was interested in, “Teaching Music to Students with Severe ASD in the Public-School Setting.” Somehow, all the materials I read and analyzed were realistically impractical or contained hypothetical theories that had no usage or application in my classroom. There are plenty of research-based articles about teaching music to special education students. However, all of them are written either by music therapists who see kids individually a few times a week or research-based articles written by professors at universities whose scholarly approaches to the problem are too advanced for elementary school teachers.
Here is one of the examples that may be useful for music therapists but impractical within the public-school setting. “A 12-year-old boy with autism is profoundly deaf. The music therapist instructs him to rest his chin atop the body of a cello, his face inclined toward the instrument's neck. As the therapist guides him in moving the bow across the strings, the vibrations travel up his jawbone to the inner ear, and the boy ‘hears’ music for the first time.” (Chase, 2009)
The example above is exciting. It is very innovative and very creative. Yet, it is still unrealistic within the public school setting. First, according to the school requirements, there is only a 30-minute weekly class. Secondly, I must deliver the lesson plan to not one individual but a large group of students with special needs. Thirdly, I don’t have the cello(s) or any other instruments to instruct my students to “rest their chin atop the body of.” And last, I must follow the curriculum as the school district mandates. So, there are limitations and strict rules on what I can do within the 30-minute class with a big group of exceptional students.
In her book, Teaching Music to Students with Special Needs: A Practical Resource, Dr. Hammel overviews the strategies of teaching music to students with mild disabilities who may qualify to receive instructions in the least restricted environment setting (Hammel, 2017). Dr. Hammel describes in detail the individualized education plan (IEP) and 504 Plan process for a music educator who has mainstreamed students in her or his class. However, in my practice, due to the nature of my work as the itinerant elementary music
teacher, I never participated in the Individualized Education Plan (IEP) or 504 meetings, and my students did not qualify to be mainstreamed.
After my disappointment with literature and scientific research, I decided to use my experiences of personal observation and knowledge.
First, I began talking to the special education teachers and asking them questions about students’ behavior, interests, etc. This helped me establish a list of my students' needs.
Yet, the most crucial step in my methodology was reevaluating my professional goal and resetting outcomes based on the new goal. My professional goal, “Development of Future Musicians,” which I set at the beginning of my teaching career, did not align with my SAC students' criteria. The guidelines published by the Legislative Analyst’s Office led me to pinpoint a new goal and restructure my methodology. The guidelines state, “Older SWDs Receive Services to Help Transition to Adulthood. One of the goals of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) is to prepare SWDs for success in life after high school when the federal entitlement to special education services typically ends. As such, beginning when students are age 16, local education agencies (LEAs) are required to develop specific services in IEPs to help SWDs prepare for the transition to postsecondary activities. Transitional services typically include vocational and career readiness activities, college counseling, and training in independent living skills.” (Overview of Special Education in California, 2013)
The guidelines helped me to identify the keywords to set the new professional goal. These keywords were:
• Transition to adulthood
• Success in life after high school
• Age of 16
• Independent living skills
“Preparing my students for success in life” became my teaching motto. By observing my students’ capabilities and potential, I set the goal to assist my students in developing skills that may help them transition to adulthood without any stress or frustration. While they were still under the supervision of teachers and one-on-one aids, and “vocational and career readiness activities” were on the list of their long-term goals, I, as a music educator, could contribute to their developmental process immediately. I disagreed with the approach that only after the age of 16 or high school graduation should my students receive help to build social and survival skills. In this case, I agreed with Leo Vygotsky, whose constructivism theory stated that learners construct meaning only through active engagement with
the world, in contrast to the methodologists who viewed the learners “as ‘an empty vessel’ to be filled with knowledge.” (Mcleod, 2024)
Classroom Activities: Teaching steady beats and rhythm
While I was still required to teach CA music core standards and curriculum, I approached the concept of the “beat” and “rhythm” through the view of an ordinary person. So, I associated the “beat” as a “strike” or “1” whole number, while I laid out the rhythm as a sum of strikes without taking into account the note values.
My goal was to teach the concepts of “steady beats” and rhythm as a pattern of whole numbers. The concept of whole numbers could help my students to:
• Understand the money concept
• Read the clock/time, do independent shopping, and understand banking transactions in the future.
After singing the “Hello” song, which was a routine process to start the class, I displayed on the screen the clock image with the clock ticking.
I reinforced the audio of the clock ticking by patting and saying, “Tick-Tack,” “Time Clock, tick-tack, tick-tack.”
While the audio clock was playing, I added a new layer to patting steady beats: I said the simplest rhyme that I created to reinforce the concept of the steady beat, and I yielded this concept with the concept of the clock movements:
Tick-Tack
Tick-Tack
Tick-Tack
Steady Beats, Steady Beats
We Are Making Steady Beats 1-2-3-4-
We Are Making Steady Beats
Tick-Tack
Tick-Tack
Tick-Tack
I associated the steady beats with the clock and the sequence of whole numbers: 1-2-3-4. All my students eventually engaged in this exercise.
After a few months, all my students could recognize the clock and automatically patted the steady beats, and the speaking students memorized and said the rhyme out loud.
In addition to the steady beats rhyme, I added one more layer: a singing voice. While I kept patting the steady beats, I sang the nursery rhyme, “Are You Sleeping, Brother John?”
I chose the song for a reason: the simple melody and echo features or call/response form allowed me to teach the steady beats and echo concepts and motivate my nonverbal students to respond to singing. Eventually, after a few classes, my students echoed back with a response, and my nonverbal students started making some musical sounds to participate in singing.
In my next exercise, I continued working on the whole numbers concept. I found the Calypso Children's music piece with the display of four hearts per episode/slide that would stand for 1-2-3-4 numbers and 1-2-3-4 steady beats.
In this exercise, my students were able to pat the steady beats with the calypso music and match their beats with every moving “heart” image.
The visualization of steady beats accompanied by four hearts per slide helped students to feel the pulsation of the music, listen to the music, and play the steady beats. I reinforced the steady beats by pointing to each heart image and saying, “Tick, “Tack,” “Tick” “Tack,” and then, in the next episode/slide, I said out loud the sequence of the numbers, “1, 2, 3, 4”. Even though my students did not see the wholenumber display, they have already cognitively recognized the “moving” sequence from #1-4.
My next step in teaching steady beats was to use musical instruments. I had only a few tiny drums, which worked better than the rhythm sticks.
I found an educational video online that helped me incorporate the concepts of whole numbers and steady beats. The “Pete the Drummer” video included steady beats, whole numbers, addition, and subtraction from # 1-10. The video was about five minutes long. However, due to the time restriction, I played only a few episodes/slides.
By following the video rap, my students played steady beats with the count from 1 to 8. Besides, they visualized the process of addition displayed in each episode/slide of the video.
Visual aids play a very important role in my teaching methodology. Visual aids accompanied all my exercises, and I did not make an exception when introducing the “rhythm” to my students.
First and most importantly, my goal was NOT to teach values of quarter, eight, or sixteen notes as I was doing in my traditional setting classes; my goal was to develop sensory stimuli for my students that could help them recognize and memorize whole numbers. In this case, I took a different approach to rhythm. I treated rhythm as patterns of whole numbers.
For example, I found an educational video online where the rhythm was introduced through the syllabus/strikes per word. Each word was a rhythmical display of fruit: pear,
LEARNING STRATEGIES
plum, mango, apple, coconut, blueberry, and watermelon. Based on the number of syllables, each fruit/word contained a different rhythmic pattern.
My students were able to clap and say the words; my nonverbal students played the patterns, and they also used their iPads to find the fruit image on their devices. Clapping the rhythm improved my students' memory, stimulated their kinesthetic abilities, and activated their cognitive responses to spoken words divided into syllables. After clapping the patterns, my students and I played the rhythmic patterns on the drums.
Interestingly, after a few months, one of my students, Oliver, brought the numeric puzzle and matched the “fruity” rhythmic patterns with the whole numbers from his puzzle (Oliver processed the rhythm as the sum of strikes/syllables per rhythmical unit/word unlike the traditional view of the rhythm as note values (see example below). Another student, Junior, who barely spoke in my music class, used his finger to point to each note and pronounced each syllable according to the note value.
The song “How Many Fingers?” concluded the steady beats/ rhythmic part of my lesson plan. Despite several counting available songs online, I found this video more appropriate to my lesson plans because it contained
• Counting from 1-10
• Introduced the anatomy: fingers and toes
• Had the animated display of whole numbers with music background
• Involved the fine motor skills (my students had to use their fingers of left and right hands to count from 1-10)
• Involved the process of listening and repeating, 6) and involved the kinesthetic movements (clapping, stomping, etc.). Yet, the most attractive part of the song was its simplest melody and funny characters, which worked well for my students. My students responded very well by singing or “sounding” like the main characters of the song.
Conclusion
The rhythm and steady beats concept concludes the first part of the series of my methodology of teaching music to students with severe ASD. This article aims to help special education and music teachers get some ideas about how to access students’ needs through music and deliver the subject matter or task through music. A lot of routine work and repetition must occur before teachers can see “the sparks” in their students’ eyes. Yet, I definitely saw it after almost nine months of tireless “redo, retry, and re-recreate” process.
In my next publications, I will share my ideas and techniques for teaching “Motions, Math, and Music,” the “Social” aspect, and the “Reading” concept through music to help my students develop basic independent living skills that could be useful in the near future.
References
Archontopoulou, Anna and Vaiouli, Potheini. (2020). Music and Social Skills for Young Children with Autism: A Survey of Early Childhood Educators. International Journal of Educational Research Review , 5 (3), 190-207.
Chase, E. (2009, March 16). Using the language of music to speak to children with autism. Retrieved from NJ.com: https://www.nj.com/ entertainment/arts/2009/03/using_the_language_of_music_to.html
Hammel, A. M. (2017). Teaching Music to Students with Special Needs: A Practical Resource (First ed.). Oxford Press University.
Mcleod, S. (2024, February 1). Constructivism Learning Theory & Philosophy Of Education. Retrieved from SimplyPsychology.org: Constructivism Learning Theory & Philosophy Of Education Overview of Special Education in California. (2013, January 3). Retrieved from Legislative Analyst's Office: https://www.lao.ca.gov/reports/2013/ edu/special-ed-primer/special-ed-primer-010313.aspx
Acknowledgement
The author would like to thank Maria Pacino, Professor and Chair, Department of Library and Information Studies, at Azusa Pacific University, and Connie Prince at Los Angeles Public Library for their support and inspiration
Aygul Hecht, BS, PhD is currently a public-school music teacher at Lancaster Unified School District and a part-time librarian at one of the Los Angeles Public Library branches. Aygul received a BS in Music from Almaty State Conservatory (Kazakhstan) and a PhD in Philosophy and Music from Moscow State University, Russia.
Adult Life – What’s Available When There Are Special Needs?
By Ryan F. Platt, MBA, ChFC, ChSNC, CFBS
Parents, families, and all adults have the same burning question, “What happens when school is over?” In the past, the answer for those with special needs was to continue to live at home with parents or in a group home setting, possibly work part-time at a fast-food restaurant, grocery store, or pet store, or maybe just be able to volunteer a few hours per week. The rest of the time was spent sitting at home. Thankfully, we are beginning to see innovation invade the special needs community, where private enterprises and families work together with government entities and service providers to offer more.
Example opportunities
An organization called Growth Through Opportunity (GTO) works with police and fire departments. Judges within the court system place individuals with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities in a specific training course in which they work side by side with police, firefighters, and court officers daily, learning the skills necessary to live as independently as they can. The only criteria are that the individual has a great attitude and they are willing to try! This organization has a 90% success rate with graduates finding paid work when they complete the training course. It is a program that is genuinely innovative… with results!
Another organization, Cakeable, works with individuals with developmental disabilities to build vocational skills by working in a commercial kitchen and a customer-facing bakery and café. The organization aims to help individuals build the skills necessary to attain a job in the community after they complete their training program.
Organizations are also continuing to work on building “live where you work” situations. Human Support Services has purchased a Bed and Breakfast in Waterloo, Illinois. This bed and breakfast will be staffed with individuals with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities with help from direct service professionals. Not only will the individuals have the opportunity to work and serve the visitors at the bed and breakfast, but they will also live in the bed and breakfast house. In this scenario, the challenge of transportation to work for adults with I/DD who live in a group home has been solved because they live where they work. This is not the only bed and breakfast of its kind in
the United States, and as they continue to be successful, the number of these opportunities will grow.
Again, these options are not available in all areas, but they are examples of individuals, families, and organizations working together to develop solutions that can work for all involved. It is vital that, as you create your family’s story and the vision of the life your loved one wants to live, you don’t limit yourselves to only what is currently available but think larger than that and then prepare for it. These new opportunities will not always be funded with government benefits, and I suspect that private funding will be needed as our benefits system continues to be squeezed financially. You must continue to build the ropes in your child’s safety net, determine the costs of your child’s lifetime support needs, and then take action to ensure those assets are available by utilizing the proper structure. The proper structure will enable your child to seize opportunities that arise, whether fully supported by the government benefit system, private pay only, or a combination of the two!
Contact a financial advisor who specializes in serving families with special needs for more information on how to prepare for the future. The team at A Special Needs Plan is driven by their purpose of Leading Families to Independence through an ongoing, multi-generational plan. We are passionate about families confidently moving forward.
Ryan F. Platt, MBA, ChFC, ChSNC, CFBS, is a registered representative of and offers securities, investment advisory, and financial planning through MML Investors Services, LLC, Member SIPC. Securities and investment advisory services are offered through qualified registered representatives of MML Investors Services, LLC, Member SIPC. A Special Needs Plan is not a subsidiary or affiliate of MML Investors Services, LLC, or its affiliated companies. This article is not a recommendation or endorsement of any products.
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SAFETY GOALS WITH NICOLE
REDUCING THE RISK OF ABUSE WITH CHILDREN WITH DISABILITY
Protecting Children in Education Settings: What to Do If You Suspect A Child
is Being Abused
By Nicole Moehring
When we send our children to school, daycare, or a babysitter, we have every right to expect their safety. Children with diverse abilities face unique challenges due to their vulnerability and the increased risk of abuse. Our responsibility is to ensure that all children are protected and cared for in these environments.
Children with disabilities are over three times more likely to experience abuse or neglect than their peers without disabilities (Jones et al., 2012)
Children with disabilities are over three times more likely to experience abuse or neglect than their peers without disabilities (Jones et al., 2012). They are at a greater risk of serious injury or harm due to maltreatment (Sedlak et al., 2010).
It’s heartbreaking to acknowledge that nearly one in three children with an identified disability confronts the cruel reality of mistreatment, whether through neglect, physical abuse, verbal abuse, or sexual abuse. These children deserve love and protection. Research indicates that those struggling with behavioral issues often face higher rates of physical abuse, while those with verbal impairments may unfortunately find themselves more at risk of neglect. It’s essential that we come together as a community to support and safeguard these children, ensuring they grow up in safe and nurturing environments.
Protecting children with disabilities in education settings
In 1975, the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) was enacted. According to this law, children are entitled to free, appropriate public education in the least restrictive environment. This law remains unchanged today. The federal regulations state, “To the maximum extent appropriate, children with disabilities are educated with children who are nondisabled; and special classes, separate schooling, or the removal of children with disabilities from the regular educational environment occurs only if the
nature or severity of the disability is such that education in regular classes, with the use of supplementary aids and services, cannot be achieved satisfactorily.”
The law stipulates that the educational placement for students with disabilities should:
• Be reviewed annually
• Provide services based on the child’s Individualized Education Plan (IEP)
• Consider all the needs of the child
Students with disabilities deserve the opportunity to thrive in age-appropriate classrooms, utilizing the modifications necessary to unlock their full potential within the general curriculum.
To the greatest extent appropriate, services should:
• Be provided at the school the student would typically attend if they were not disabled
• If possible, be offered in a general education classroom
• Include any necessary aids and services to support the child if an aide is needed
• Support the child during all academic and extracurricular activities
• Give the child every opportunity to participate in all activities with their typical peers
Why are children with disabilities being abused in educational settings?
When children with disabilities are not placed in appropriate educational environments, it can lead to a variety of challenging behaviors, including extreme outbursts, disruptive actions, and difficulties concentrating. These behaviors often stem from the frustration and anxiety that arise when their individual needs are unmet. Unfortunately, regular education teachers may lack the necessary training and resources to address and manage these situations effectively. As a result, the classroom environment can become chaotic, making it difficult for the teacher and the students to maintain a productive learning atmosphere. Providing these children with proper support and accommodations is crucial to ensure their success and integration within the classroom.
The increasing prevalence of autism and other disabilities, overcrowding of special education classrooms, and a shortage of special education teachers and aides place children with disabilities at an even greater risk of abuse and neglect. There have been numerous news reports over the years of children.
How can we proactively prevent children with disabilities from being abused?
There are numerous strategies we can employ to protect children with disabilities from abuse in educational environments:
• Teach your child what boundaries and good/bad touching are, and if they ever feel that someone has touched them inappropriately, they should let you know immediately. For children with lower cognitive or developmental delays, use pictures to help them explain these concepts
• It’s important to involve yourself in the school
• Request open-door therapy sessions in your child’s IEP; this reduces the opportunity for abuse to occur
• Get to know your child’s teacher and aids (if applicable)
• Drop in unannounced. By doing this, the staff will not know when to expect you, and you will be able to see exactly how your child is being treated
You are your child’s number one advocate. Always follow your gut! If you feel something doesn’t feel right, report it.
References
Jones, L., Bellis, M. A., Wood, S., Hughes, K., McCoy, E., Eckley, L., . . . Officer, A. (2012). Prevalence and risk of violence against children with disabilities: A systematic review and meta-analysis of observational studies. Lancet, 380, 899–907. doi: 10.1016/ S0140-6736(12)60692-8
Sedlak, A. J., Mettenburg, J., Basena, M., Petta, I., McPherson, K., Greene, A., & Li, S. (2010). Fourth National Incidence Study of Child Abuse and Neglect (NIS–4): Report to Congress. Retrieved https://www.acf.hhs.gov/ opre/report/fourth-national-incidence-study-child-abuse-and-neglectnis-4-report-congress
Nicole Moehring’s daughter and son, who has autism and Fragile X Syndrome, were both victims of sexual abuse. As a mother suffering through this unbelievable nightmare, Nicole witnessed extreme differences in the justice system in terms of how her daughter was believed and treated so well and how her son was not. In addition, she recognized the distinct differences in recovery, trying to find support and resources. Nicole and her daughter Maci founded Voices of Change 2018 (VOC18), a nonprofit organization, to begin making much-needed change for children with disabilities and their families.
VOC18 is a disability-led national organization piloting our groundbreaking programs in Ohio. Their mission is to reduce the risk of abuse, neglect, and exploitation of children with disabilities. By sharing their lived experiences and through collaborations with law enforcement, mental health, medical professionals, and other similar organizations, they are building a foundation of advocacy, awareness, education, resources, and support for children with disabilities and their families.
