Growing up, I was well aware of the roles that I were supposed to assume as an Asian American. I had to excel at violin, be a genius at mathematics, and become a black belt in karate, as all acceptable Asians were in the media. I wanted to be either an acceptable Asian or forget about my heritage entirely– I remember drawing a self-portrait of what I wanted my ideal self to look like when I was six years old, painting myself with curly blonde hair and blue eyes. There was never a balance for me, there was always something I wanted to change about me. I felt that in order to be truly Asian or American, I had to fit a certain mold.
EXPOSURE 17
Throughout school, I remember begging my mom not to pack me any Vietnamese food or else kids would scrunch their noses and tease me for bringing a gross lunch. By the time I was in middle school I was only bringing American food to lunch, trying to detach myself from Asian culture all together. I didn’t realize how much I have strayed from my heritage until someone told me I was one of the “better Asians”, implying that my detachment from my culture, I was acceptable in their eyes. I was lucky to have made Asian friends I could connect to about my heritage and feel more comfortable expressing my love of all of our delicious cuisine, bond about our Asian upbringings, traditions, and our experiences overcoming our stereotypes. There is no point in trying to completely immerse myself in American or Vietnamese culture. As long as I embrace my culture without feeling insecure due to others’ opinions, I am able to proudly call myself a Vietnamese-American. - SERINA NGUYEN
