Eydis Authentic Living Magazine May Kathleen Seeley i by MY Authentic Life Magazine

EYDIS Authentic Living

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Nature

NOISE VS.

Greatness

FINDING

WITHIN YOU WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S THE KEY OF ALL CREATION?

Mother

KATHLEEN SEELEY

Living A Dream I Never Knew I Had

MAY 2017

EYDIS Authentic Living

Warrior Woman Goddess of the Island

Imagine All the Possibilities

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C O N T R I B U T E R S

The founder of Eydis, has been in the marketing and media arena for over 20 years, owning five businesses and selling two of those. She creates local magazines as well as publishing a global magazine creating an awareness around articles that are empowering and inspirational. As an Author and Prosperity Coach, Maria helps others to live the life they desire.

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Eydis magazine is a monthly publication and makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising, editorial content and placement: however, we cannot make any claims as to the accuracy of information provided by advertisers or editorial contributors and will accept no responsibility or liability for inaccurate information or placement. No content can be duplicated without the permission of Eydis Media. For inquiries e-mail info@eydisauthenticliving.com.

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Patrick Andries Kathryn Andries The Dream Experts

Mella Barnes

Carol Benson

Liz Bull

Amanda Butler

Sharon Carne

Annabel Cohen

Wini Curley

Lolly Daskal

Pat Duckworth

Liberty Forrest

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Elaine M. Grohman

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David Larson

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Lisa Marie Platske

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Lisa Sawicki

John Schalter

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from the publisher

Remembering Why We Are Here From the moment we are born, we know that we are here to create greatness. We arrive without preconceived notions, knowing that we can do anything. But as we grow, we learn words like, no, you can’t, you shouldn’t, and don’t. Then before long we believe them. Now our perception becomes, what can I do, instead of, I can do anything. How we think and the words we use, do matter. If we project negative, all we will get is negative. If we project positive, we will attract positive. The energy we create around our selves, leads us to who and where we are today.

You are the only one who can limit your greatness. Remember you are enough.

So if the paragraph above is true, and I believe it to be, we can do anything we put our minds and energy to. So consider yourself on notice. What are you doing to create the life you desire? When you wake up in the morning, do you wake up thinking, I don’t want to get out of bed or I hate my job or life sucks? Or do you wake up each day saying, Thank you God for this beautiful day? We are all here to do great things. If we allow the negative circumstances to control our lives, then we can’t remember why we are here to do these wonderful things. So today, be different. Find only the positive in situations. Look for the beauty around you. Know that you can be whom ever you want to be. You are in control of you, so open your mind to remembering why you are here in the first place. Thank you for reading Eydis Authentic Living Magazine. We appreciate your support.

Maria Savoy – Publisher maria.eydismedia@gmail.com mariasavoy.com

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THE WALK By JJS

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time now To give up the struggle And walk the path of least resistance To embrace life Ever knowing who walks with me Showing the way With such elegance, it clogs my eyes with tears And I see life through this new lens No longer fearing obstacles I embrace them as my teachers Strength rather than sorrow Faith rather than fear I finally understand We are here to become more And are never alone How wonderful this game of life is

John Schalter is a Life Coach, Practicing Attorney (36 years) and Professional Screenwriter. He is also a musician, songwriter, and artist. He does private coaching but limits his client numbers to 10. If you would like to discuss coaching further and/or get on the waiting list call him at 586-997 HELP (5357). The first consultation is always free! eydisauthenticliving.com 13

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Have a Wonderful Mothers Day!

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Kathleen Seeley Living The Dream I Never Knew I Had

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Eydis Living

Self-Growth

28 Can You Hear Opportunity Knocking

56 The Emotional Trauma of Writing

34 Living with Confidence

60 Honor Your Mother

40 How To Communicate Your Brillance in 3 Easy Steps

66 Finding Greatness Within You

44 Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the Key to All Creation? Mother! 48 You Are Not Alone 52 Slowing Down, Unplugging & Savoring the Goodness

70 Feelings: Better Out Than In 74 The High Cost of Comparing

Simply Spiritual

Wealth Consciousness

86 The Dream Experts What Does Your Dream Mean

106 The 7 Essentials on the Prosperity Playlist

88 Talk to Tamara

110 Are You On Autopilot At Work?

92 Noise Vs. Nature 98 When Myths Become Malignant 102 The Magic of Strategic Thinking

Healthy Living 116 Can Self-Care Make You A Better Parent For Your Children?

78 Finding Your Purpose

120 Face Value

82 A Broken Heart Is Not Terminal

122 Lets At Last Celebrate the Season 130 Heartburn? Stuffed? Bloated? Gassy?

May 2017

Kathleen Seeley

20 | Eydis Magazine

Living A Dream I Never Knew I Had by Maria Savoy

magine walking into a room filled with people just waiting to see you. As you hear your name announced, the audience explodes with excitement as you walk in. The sound of clapping hands gets louder with enthusiasm when you thank them for coming. Speaking on stages and transforming lives, is what Kathleen Seeley does, she teaches leadership principles all over the world. “I am living a dream I never knew I had,” Kathleen shares. “It never occurred to me that I would someday be traveling and teaching values based leadership to people from all over the world.” Kathleen Seeley is the Founder of Massively Human Leadership™,” is an acclaimed international speaker, transformational coach, facilitator and corporate leadership

consultant. She is authentic, edgy, walks her talk and unapologetically lives her most authentic and passionate life. She weaves her personal stories of her good and her not so good moments to demonstrate the power of the transformational tools she shares with her audiences. For more than 20 years Kathleen has been working with individuals and corporate leadership teams facilitating game-changing transformation. Kathleen is a senior certified trainer, and shares the stage with the world-renowned leader, Jack Canfield, best known for his “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series and his “The Success Principles,” and starring in the movie “The Secret”. She is also certified in “The Human Element”, a certified “Passion Test” Facilitator and a Training Partner with The Barrett Values Centre.

Born in Olympia Washington, Kathleen’s life took an unexpected turn when she was just a young girl, her father abandons the family leaving them with nothing. “After my dad left, my mom being Canadian, packed up all six of us, put us in our station wagon, along with our hamster, German Shepherd, and a parakeet and headed for Canada to live with my grandma,” Kathleen explains. Struggling to make a normal life for her children, Kathleen’s Mom worked two jobs and attended University before receiving her second-degree showing great leadership. Kathleen remembers her mother as her greatest role model and hero. As Kathleen reminisces about her childhood, she reveals that it was early on that she saw in herself hints of leadership and independence that were developing as they transformed their lives in Canada. eydisauthenticliving.com 21

myself. That’s what leadership is, it’s a balance of healthy selfinterest and common good, but it’s also about connection and being a part of something greater than the self.” There was no question in Kathleen’s mind that she was meant to be a leader, but the next couple of years would prove to be challenging at best. “Many of us have experienced trauma in a physical, emotional or sexual way, and talking about that can sometimes feel frightening. At the young age of around 8 or 9, I was molested and at the age of 13, I was sexually assaulted by a much older man who was drunk at a party.” Kathleen shares. Many children grow up in happy, loving homes, but not all lives are perfect. There are times when things happen and memories are suppressed as a way to protect horrifying events so that you can move forward with your life and that is what happened to Kathleen.

A leadership role that stands out for Kathleen was in the 7th grade, she recalls trying out for the basketball team and was disappointed when she didn’t make it. She asked the coach if she could practice with the girls so that the next year she would 22 | Eydis Magazine

have a better chance of making the team. He agreed and the proceeding year, she made the team.

The mind is a power tool, and it has a way of protecting one from harm’s way. It can suppress memories to be revealed at another time, a time that might be more palatable for that person. It wasn’t until Kathleen was in her forty’s, at a meditation retreat, that the memories of her childhood revealed themselves.

“Something in me knew that if I was persistent, I could be a part of something bigger than

“As traumatic as those memories were, I realized what a gift it was “not” to

remember all of those years relieving me of the guilt and shame,” she explained. “The suppression of my memories also gave me the ability to look at it as an observer, not in a way that I was denying that it took place, but rather from a different perspective. What I realized was that I could take these experiences and use them for good. The more authentic I am about my past, the more connected people are with me from a really deep and compassionate place. This happens in a way that they are willing to open up to their own experiences and look at their own life to see how they are getting in their own way.”

When your memories came back, how did that change your life? “Once you become aware, you can’t put toothpaste back into the tube. I heard Neale Donald Walsch once say when you become aware and you don’t act on it, you are committing spiritual suicide. That really resonated with me. You can’t un-know yourself. You can block it by turning to addiction or anything that will stop you from feeling, but your life is your life and it’s better to deal with it head on. I will tell you that it was all of the work that I had done, specifically the work in values that have helped me to get through.

of my values, I think I could have made many choices that would not have served me. It took me back six years ago when I decided to leave my marriage. My husband and I went to a marriage retreat and that is when it became evident that I needed to leave. We didn’t tell anyone for a few months but when we did, the next months unraveled quickly. My Dad died, he had a brain infection, he was healthy and then dead. He was not a very good man, but I was with him at the end and there was a lot of healing around that. Less than a year later, my Mom died. During that time I was away from my family, and all but two of my friends left me, they thought I was a horrible person for leaving my husband. I remember thinking, WOW! This is why I did all of this personal healing work, it prepared me for my divorce, my parents dying and my friends leaving, but that was not the case. I have three children and it was last year that one of my children

decided to experiment with drugs. It didn’t take long before he quickly went down a rabbit hole. I attended a lot of court hearings and litigations with my ex-husband on how to care for our children and this particular problem, it was a very difficult and conflicted time. To watch my son spiral out of control in a world that I had never known and it was horrifying. I had never used drugs before, and I felt helpless. As though that was not enough, I also found myself pushing up against a large client of mine, which caused a lot of angst, and then to top it off, I was in a relationship with someone that I cared very deeply for but not deep enough, so I ended that relationship because I couldn’t give what was needed at the time.”

BREAK THROUGH “I remember waking up one night, jumped out of my bed and rushing into another room as if I was trying to get away from myself. I thought about my life

I will confess that 2016 was one of the most challenging years of my life, and had it not been for this work and the understanding eydisauthenticliving.com 23

Canfield was offering. Kathleen signed up, met Jack, and revealed that that particular program rocked her world, changing her forever. It set her on the path of truly creating a breakthrough to her success. From there she became certified in Janet Atwood’s, “The Passion Test,” which lead to Jack Canfield’s advanced training and then on to getting two master degrees that focused on valuesbased leadership. It was soon after that, that Jack Canfield reached out to Kathleen asking her to participate in a new program, ‘train the trainer.’ and felt that all of this “stuff” that I was going through was against me. I really wanted all of this to be someone else’s fault and then I realized, all of this was happening because I was the one who was pushing up against others. I was fighting to live my values. When we push hard to be who we are and fight for what we believe, it isn’t easy and it is risky. It is risky to stand for your values; it is risky to stand up to people, traditions, habits, behaviors and secrets. I was pushing up against them in every part of my life. When I was able to have that awareness, I was able to sit in it. I call it sitting in the fire of ‘I like this, I don’t like this’ and I was able to peel away what was happening to me. What I realized was that all of my corporate work and the work I had done with Jack, helped me to be a better me. It’s both self-serving and serving. I saw how my life shifted from being a victim to a victor. By 24 | Eydis Magazine

pushing through my values and believing in myself, my son is now in a much better place, I have gotten to an incredible place with my client, an honest, true and real relationship. I have clarity around why that relationship did not work and I am ready to move forward. Living my values and knowing that we are only responsible for our own lives has helped me to create great opportunities through my dis-ease. Growth work is so important not only in our personal lives but in corporate lives as well. If I am able to tap into the place that is real and authentic in others by sharing my own experiences, then it opens others up to be vulnerable and to receive as well.

MY WORK WITH JACK CANFIELD In 2008 Kathleen came across a course called “Breakthrough to Success” a course that Jack

“I received an e-mail asking if I would like to participate in the ‘train the trainer’ course that Jack was offering. My first reaction was to say, No. I had taken two of his classes already; I didn’t feel I really wanted or needed to take any more, so at the time, I blew it off. It was about two weeks before the training was to begin, that my intuition kicked in and told me that I needed to do this, so I called and as luck would have it, I was able to get into the class. Again, this class completely, 100% changed my life.”

How did working with Jack Canfield help you with what you were already doing on the corporate side of your business? “Jack taught me how to be, I now show up in the room more authentic and more present. A lot of his tools are great for

processing people through their own stuff. What I’ve also notice as a result of mentoring with Jack is that he has taught me how to open up to emergence and allowing, not necessarily knowing how something is going to end, but to stay present to the moment of what’s coming up for others in the room. He taught me how to hold a room, hold the space in that room and then by incorporating the core of my program, The Barrett Values Centre – Cultural Transformation Tools using a metric for values, it all came together.

We cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life’s morning, for what was great in the morning will be little at evening and what in the morning was true, at evening will have become a lie.”

“You never touch someone so lightly that you do not leave a trace”

–Peggy Tabor Millan

To learn more about Kathleen Seeley please visit www.massivelyhuman.com

– Carl G. Jung

I think the reason Jack and I resonate so deeply is because his books, “The Success Principles” and “Chicken Soup For The Soul,” are a collection of works and my work is a collection of works. It’s very eclectic, I don’t believe there is only one way to do anything.“ Today Kathleen consults closely with Jack, on his Faculty developing and teaching in the Train the Trainer program and shares his stage at Breakthrough to Success, the program that propelled her life forward. A full circle moment for her.

When asked to give words of wisdom, Kathleen states: “Leadership is a behavior, not a role; everyone has, within them the capacity to lead. Be present, mindful and intentional as a leader, know that everything you do causes something to move” I would like to leave you with two of my favorite quotes”

eydisauthenticliving.com 25

Authentic Living

CAN YOU HEAR OPPORTUNITY KNOCKING? STAY OPEN TO GETTING WHAT YOU WANT by Wini Curley, Ph.D.

28 | Eydis Magazine

ow open are you to actually asking for and then receiving what you want? I was taking a walk with my friend Debbie, and we happened across an organic juice bar. I said hello to the young man in line ahead of me. Turns out, he and I both ordered the exact same small drink. The juice baristas are instructed to make a little extra in each blender so they can then offer mini taste cups to people in line. There was no one in line after me, so my cup got the entire blender contents. The young man and I were handed our drinks simultaneously. His was small. Mine was large (even though I had ordered a small). He spoke softly to himself saying, “Oh, I didn’t know it was going to be this small.” I thought “This is too large for me”. I immediately asked the young man, “Would you like to trade drinks? I ordered the same thing you did ” Here is where it gets interesting. I could see that he really wanted to accept my offer, but he was very uncomfortable that I would simply give him my larger drink in exchange for his smaller one. “Don’t you want me to pay you for it?” He said. “No, this is just too big for me. I would much prefer the smaller one.” I responded. “No, I can’t do that.” He

said. After three more similar exchanges, I said with a smile “Listen to me, I really won’t drink all of this, and would prefer the smaller one.” Again he said, “Don’t you want me to pay you for it?” I responded (again), “No, I paid for a small the same as you. ”Debbie then looked at him very directly and said, “Say thank you.” Finally, he was willing to make the exchange. I was amazed at how completely resistant he was to simply receive exactly what he really wanted. In the end, by accepting my unexpected offer, the young man allowed a win-win to happen. But he almost didn’t. If I hadn’t been persistent, it would have flown right by him. Not everyone offering you an opportunity to get what you want will be as insistent as I was that you pay attention. You need to develop that very valuable skill for yourself. Here are 3 tips to help you stay open to getting what you want from both expected and unexpected sources. 1. CLARIFY YOUR WANTS Being clear about what you want makes it more likely for that specific opportunity to happen. Whether it is in the moment like the young man at the juice bar, or when it is a bigger picture goal, it is important to acknowledge what you want specifically and consciously. Notice if you have an internal conversation that says your goal is too hard to get, or you don’t eydisauthenticliving.com 29

deserve it. Practice visualizing yourself receiving what you want and what it opens up for you when you have it. Becoming aware of your resistance and then visualizing success creates internal permission for you to accept what you want. If you are brave enough to share your goal with others, you may find support is available to help you actually get what you want. For example, if you want a raise, be specific about how much more income you want annually or monthly. Check out whether your new income level is within the salary range for your work so you know if it is achievable in your current situation. Next, do a little research to identify if there are any additional qualifications you need, who makes the decisions, and how they are made. Then you will know who you need to talk with and what you need to do to make it happen. 2. STAY ALERT TO OPPORTUNITIES Now that you have clarity about what you want and permission to receive it, you don’t want to miss the opportunity when it comes by. Focus your attention on how you can (rather than can’t) have it happen. The two most common reasons I missed an opportunity in the past are: 1) I was too set on how I thought it should come about rather than focusing on the outcome I wanted, or 2) I expected the opportunity to come from a certain source, and support came from a different direction. Stay alert and flexible about how and in what form an opportunity may be offered to you. Several years ago in my environmental consulting career, I wanted a specific increase in my salary. It was a bit high for where I worked but within range. I was very clear about the goal but wasn’t getting any traction on it. Out of the blue, I got a call from a headhunter offering me that exact salary. However, that opportunity to have my desired salary required me to consider moving my family and changing companies. How my raise would happen suddenly appeared and it came from a different source than I expected. I had to consider what I really wanted, my priorities, and how several wants intertwined. 3. START WITH YES Look first at how an opportunity related to your desire does fit your needs rather than

30 | Eydis Magazine

how it doesn’t. That doesn’t mean to just accept anything that is offered. Instead, make it a habit of staying open to considering options even when they don’t sound perfect, to begin with. You may be able to negotiate some aspects and create a better match for yourself. Rather than starting with resistance, start with openness and let that flow to acceptance when the conditions meet both your wants and acceptability standards. That headhunter I mentioned above had called me several times before with other job change opportunities, none of which appealed to me. I made a choice to stop being disappointed or irritated by his offers, and to ask specifically for what I wanted. I was grateful that his calls had opened me to the idea that I needed to change jobs to get what I wanted. I told him not to call me unless the opportunity met three conditions:

How would you have reacted if I had met you at the juice bar rather than the young man? Would you be willing to accept exactly what you wanted from a complete stranger? Would you wonder what the strings were? Would you feel guilty because what you were offering in exchange was smaller? Or would you be able to say “Hey, cool! Thank you so much!” In the next weeks, notice your comfort level and ability to both ask for what you want and then receive support from others. Stay alert to noticing when you are offered support, gifts, encouragement, or acknowledgment. Start with yes and expand your ability to tailor opportunities. Receiving with grace and ease is the gateway to getting what you specifically want more often and more quickly. Strengthen that muscle. You never know what opportunity might be standing next to you in line - at the juice bar, the grocery store, the airline counter, the conference registration…

Wini Curley, Ph.D. is a Resilience Expert, Speaker, and Executive Coach. She shows leaders and their organizations how to energize their next win - whether they are on a roll or in a hole. In 2002, Wini became an entrepreneur and left a 20-year corporate career cleaning up environmental hazardous waste sites. Now, she helps clients clean up toxic habits, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that contaminate their path to success. Clients say Wini’s keen intuition, judgement-free approach, and energy techniques all help free them to release frustrations and blocks and accelerate toward what they really want. Wini has coached successful leaders and entrepreneurs across 3 continents. Clean up the toxicities big or small at the leadership level, and watch the business and its people grow and flourish. Learn more about Wini and her programs at www.WiniCurley.com and www.GiftsFromWini.com

1. Moving to one of three specific places, 2. Staying in my same consulting industry, and 3. A specific salary range. Several months went by and I thought he forgot about me. However, when he did call, he made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. It met all my of specific criteria! I had been clear on what I wanted, had stayed alert to opportunities, and I had said yes to headhunter support (with specific criteria).

eydisauthenticliving.com 31

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C.H.A.N.G.E. Creating Hope and Awareness and Nurturing Growth through Empowerment The St. Clair Butterfly Foundation was founded to inspire a movement of C.H.A.N.G.E. by providing all children and youths with the tools to overcome any adversity and help them to realize their full potential to soar! Based in Oakland County Michigan, this nonprofit organization offers: Community Outreach Programs Creative Art Programs Scholarship Programs Legislative Initiatives Your donation goes directly to helping kids find their voice The St. Clair Butterfly Foundation has successfully helped to change laws in several states to better protect children.

Each year 1-in-4 girls and 1-in-6 boys are victims of abuse. Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s help these children find their voice. Founded in 2007 by Chip and Lisa St. Clair, and based on his bestselling memoir, The Butterfly Garden, the St. Clair Butterfly Foundation utilizes the power of creative arts, literature, and overall well-being to impact the lives of children facing adversity. Listen to Chip and Lisaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s radio show: The Divine Frequency: Turning Your Passion Into Purpose Tuesday at 9:30 am Eastern Time on Empower Radio

Your donation gives the greatest gift to a child! 33 It shows that they are loved and that they deserveeydisauthenticliving.com to be heard.

LIVING WITH

Confidence by Pat Duckworth

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ay is here and mother birds are preparing for their fledglings to leave the nest. They have hatched them, fed them and kept them safe and now it is time for the young birds to fly. We are a few months away from our young people leaving home to go to college or to work away from home and it is a good time to reflect on whether they are well prepared for this major life change. When young people feel confident about the practicalities of living independently, they are able to get on with looking forward to this new phase in their life. Those who donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feel prepared may be starting to dread it or even decide to delay it for a year. A significant number of young people drop out of college in the first term because they are unable to cope with the study combined with their new responsibilities. There are certain life skills that you need in order live independently for the first time. These include: â&#x20AC;˘

An understanding about managing money and finances so that you can live within a budget.

â&#x20AC;˘

An ability to organize a weekly menu plan, shop for food items and cook meals. eydisauthenticliving.com 35

•

Know how to operate household appliances such as turning on a washing machine and what to do when the cycle finishes. Ability to interact with strangers, and build relationships.

•

Know basic self-defense and first aid, and how to get help in an emergency.

•

Able to support their emotional resilience while living alone

Review that list and carry out a quick audit of your young person’s skills. Are there gaps in their knowledge that you could 36 | Eydis Magazine

help them to fill in the next few months?

MONEY SKILLS

If you have encouraged your young person to have a parttime job or to budget an allowance they probably have the financial skills to balance their accounts. However, if these ideas are new to them you still have time for them learn some basic principles. Before he was setting off for college, my colleague, Kay, sent her son to live in their annex in the garden for two weeks with a budget of $50. Within 30 minutes his friends had arrived, he had a ride to

the supermarket and bought ingredients for a meal. He then prepared the meal and charged everyone restaurant rates. By the end of the two weeks, he had more money than he started with! Some suggestions for upskilling: •

Send your young person on a basic money skills course

•

Give your young person a budget to live on for a set period

•

Invest in an online financial course

•

Get them a budgeting app for their phone

COOKING SKILLS

Basic cooking skills are essential for the health and wellbeing, as well as the finances, of your young person. Some students think that they will be able to live on take-out meals when they move away but they do not realize how much that will cost. My son studied Food Technology at school so I knew he wouldn’t starve when he left home. Some of his meals were more like chemical experiments but I didn’t mind as long as I didn’t have to eat them! If your young person has limited cooking skills here are some suggestions: •

Take them food shopping with you so that they understand ingredients

•

Encourage them to cook with you.

•

Arrange for them to plan and cook one meal for the family every week.

•

Enroll them in a cookery course

I considered it safe for him to wield a hot iron. I made it attractive by paying him to do my ironing. In that way, he developed a practical skill and an understanding of working for money. It is not enough to take your young person for a tour of the appliances and expect them to remember how to operate them all. Between now and when they leave home, put them on a rota to carry out these tasks so that they have practical experience. It is up to you whether you increase their allowance to compensate for these tasks.

INTERACTION SKILLS When your young person leaves home to go to college or work they are going to meet lots of new people; new friends, tutors, colleagues,

and managers. Whether your offspring is an introvert or an extrovert they need to be able to communicate effectively and build relationships. Research shows that many teenagers now are more isolated than they have been in previous generations. They spend more time on social media than they do having face-to-face interactions. Typing short replies and emojis into a phone is very different from a physical conversation. The first communication skill that your young person needs is the ability to listen. This is about giving your full attention to what is being said and confirming that you have understood the content. It helps the other person to feel respected and validated.

HOUSEHOLD SKILLS

Most young people are not very interested in household appliances such as the dishwasher, washing machine, and vacuum cleaner. I taught my son to iron the laundry as soon as eydisauthenticliving.com 37

Some tips you can pass on to your young person and help them to practice: •

•

Look at the other person while they are speaking and give them your full attention. Do not be distracted by environmental factors such as the radio, TV, or mobile phone.

•

Confirm your attention by nodding and making appropriate affirmative sounds such as ‘yes’, ‘ok’, or ‘uh huh’. Check your posture and make sure it is open and inviting.

•

Ask questions to clarify your understanding such as ‘What do you mean when you say you don’t feel valued anymore?’

The most effective style of speaking is assertive. Assertiveness is about acknowledging your own rights and feelings while still respecting others’ rights and feelings. If this is not your young person’s natural way of communicating they may need to practice by preparing a script for what they want to say. The EFNC format below* allows you to rehearse what you would say in a difficult situation. There are four main components to the script: •

For example – ‘I’d like to talk over a problem with you. During the past week, I haven’t been able to get to sleep on three nights because your music was loud enough for me to hear it in my bedroom’

Explain – the situation as you see it. Be objective, be brief, don’t theorize.

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•

Feelings – acknowledge your own feelings and take responsibility for them. Be aware of others’ feelings. ‘I’m beginning to feel tired and irritated. I can’t study properly. I appreciate how important listening to music is to you.’ Needs – be selective, be realistic and be prepared to compromise. ‘I need you to turn the volume down after eleven o’clock or listen to it on headphones.’ Consequences – outline the rewards or outline the consequences. ‘That way I will get better sleep and be able to do my work the next day.’

EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE SKILLS

If your young person is naturally confident, went to boarding school, regularly went to Guide/Scout camp or went on holiday with friends, it is likely that they will require minimal support when they leave home. However, if they have never had those experiences of independent living they may need more reassurance and initial support.

Here are some tips for supporting emotional resilience: •

Regular exercise.

•

Spend some time outside enjoying nature.

•

Have regular contact with friends

•

Join a club or organization associated with something you are interested in.

•

Eat healthily

•

Take part in voluntary work

•

Develop positive self-talk

•

Set achievable goals and celebrate your successes

•

Have a laugh every day!

Remember, your role now is changing from parent to coach and mentor. Enable your young person to acquire these independent living skills and then let them fly! Pat Duckworth is a midlife coach, author, and international public speaker. After 30 years working in the public and voluntary sector, Pat discovered her entrepreneurial mojo in her mid-50s and retrained as a therapist and coach. Since then she has published three books including the award-winning, ‘Hot Women, Cool Solutions’. Her fourth book, Hot Women Rock; How to discover your midlife entrepreneurial mojo, is published on October 4th. Pat is passionate about inspiring women to get the best from their lives, no matter what their age. Learn more athotwomencoolsolutions.com Twitter: @patduckworth Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ HWRentreprenuers/

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MARCH 2017

HOW TO COMMUNICATE YOUR BRILLIANCE

In 3 Easy Steps

40 | Eydis Magazine

by Lisa Marie Platske

hen I was an undergraduate student at the University of Scranton majoring in Criminal Justice, I would travel an hour+ to Allentown, Pennsylvania every 6 – 8 weeks to work in a fast food restaurant where I had part-time and holiday hours. Allentown was where I called “home” and because I was a late bloomer and didn’t have my license yet (actually there is a longer story that I’ll save for another time….), I caught a ride with a friend or my parents picked me up to make this happen. It wasn’t a glamorous job but it was close to my parent’s home and the managers gave me the freedom and flexibility to work whenever I wanted. They even paid me more than anyone else who worked there – and I formed some amazing friendships at that time of my life. While working at Arby’s fit my life at the time, I remember how small I felt every time one of my classmates in college spoke about their summer jobs at the beach or working in their parent’s businesses. As the girls in my campus housing spoke about the big opportunities they were creating, I could feel myself shrinking. With each conversation, it felt as if I was getting smaller and smaller, stuck in one of those sci-fi shrinking machines. eydisauthenticliving.com 41

One afternoon at the end of my junior year, I remember Suzy* (not her real name) speaking about how she was going home for the weekend as she was asked to interview for one of the prestigious paid internships at the law firm she was targeting. Despite having a great day, my accomplishments seemed small and I could feel my confidence leaving my body like a deflated balloon.

me feeling judged, insignificant, and not good enough. At the moment, I lost touch with the reasons why working at Arby’s worked for me. All I could focus on was what I thought were shortcomings in myself. A few of the questions that popped into my mind were:

When I work with my clients, I often speak about the paralyzing effect of shame. With guilt, you feel that you did something bad. With shame, you feel you are bad for having done something. In this situation, I felt like I was not good enough because I wasn’t born into a more pedigreed family.

• If I would have looked in the mirror at that moment, I may have only seen a shadow of myself as I was feeling invisible.

What did she have that I didn’t to attract an opportunity like this?

The truth is my family was much more loving and interesting, I just couldn’t see it at the time.

•

She didn’t even have to say a word to me. Her look alone left

Was I even smart enough to get a job interning in a law office?

•

What if this is all I’ll ever get to do in my life?

Shame is a tricky emotion…..a humiliating disgrace (real or perceived) that can cause regret and unintentional hiding out.

How about you? •

•

Have you ever felt judged, insignificant, or less than for choosing to do what you do? Have you ever focused more on what others are doing than why something works for you? Have you ever struggled to communicate your value and your values?

By lacking the confidence to stand in your truth, you can derail your mission, purpose, and destiny. Looking back, I realize that those questions sabotaged my truth – and came from a place that was shame-based deep inside of me. 42 | Eydis Magazine

Fortunately, there are simple actions you can take to ensure you are operating from your truth, ready and willing to be heard for who you are. Here are three steps to communicate your brilliance so the world sees and hears you. 1. See Your Talents, Gifts, and Abilities. Open your eyes to the wonder of you. When you connect with who you are and who you are not, you realize the value you bring to the world. You cannot communicate what you cannot see yourself. 2. Choose Upside. Before you can speak your message, you’ve got to be able to embrace the truth that everything is conspiring for your greatest good. When

you choose to see the Upside in all things, you can be the Upside, lighting the world for others. This inner confidence that enables you to communicate your brilliance, making you attractive to others before you even open your mouth. 3. Speak Your Magnetic Message. When you speak, use words that work for you - that come from your heart. Whether your message is firm or light, it should be infused with authenticity. As Oscar Wilde said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Be Yourself. Everyone else is taken.â&#x20AC;? When you are fully you, and not a watered-down version of the person you think others want to connect with, your message is magnetic. If I

would have done this years ago, there would have been no shrinking. When you see your talents, gifts, and abilities, choose the Upside, and speak your magnetic message, you are able to confidently stand in your truth. You are able to confidently communicate your brilliance so the world sees and hears you. Because the world needs you and your brilliance. I invite you to practice one of these three steps every day this month. Leadership is a relationship. People follow the person first, then their great plan. Be a leader worth following.

The World Needs You and Your Brilliance Lisa Marie Platske left her action-packed life as a Federal law enforcement officer to become the CEO of international leadership company, Upside Thinking, Inc. An awardwinning leadership expert and #1 best-selling international author of 4 books, she takes her law enforcement journey which began on the piers of New York and ended post 9/11 and shares what exceptional leaders do differently and how to be positioned as an expert in order to seize big opportunities. As a certified master coach, Lisa Marie coaches women in business around the globe. With experience working with clients in over 20 different industries, her proven 7-step formula has resulted in her clients being seen, heard, and recognized for their work without having to change who they are. The founder of Design Your Destiny LIVE (www. DesignYourDestinyLive), she lives in Alexandria, Virginia with her loving and supportive husband Jim and their two pet foxes.

eydisauthenticliving.com 43

WHAT’S THE KEY TO ALL CREATION?

MOTHER!

by Gary Stuart

hew! Where does the time go? Every mother knows that more than anyone. After all, Mothers are the glue that keeps life, children and the family going one household 44 | Eydis Magazine

at a time. It is now May and kudos to all the mothers, grandmothers, greatgrandmothers plus all those women who came generations before and those who will come generations after.

A Mother’s responsibility is to Birth the Future. It’s a Fathers opportunity is to seed the future. I’ve been a Family Constellation facilitator for almost 2 decades. All Family systems have hidden

our connection to the past and all Mothers who came before. The Father’s job is to guide us in life and show us the world plus how to survive in it. Everything that happens in procreation is quite miraculous. All of this happens whether a sexually active couple wants to be parents or not. Life itself has its own plans and we’re at times powerless to the greater forces of life passing through us propelled by sexuality and pleasure. Mother’s support the eternal Present and maternal Past that are very much alive in our bodies. Fathers are in service of our Future in the world while we activate our bodies in life.

historical effects that affect many generations that came before and will come after. Life is the most forgiving force in the Universe. It’s only goal, is to move forward at all cost.

I find life itself to be an undulating process from the moment of our conception inside our mother’s womb we become present to physicality. Once we explode outward at our birth she forever becomes

We as children received the greatest gift we could have ever been bestowed, LIFE! We are the embodiment of that orgiastic spark moving forward into the flow of life. Many often forget it is all a gift to be treasured and honored. If we’re lucky the bonding or lack of, persists throughout our lifetime. Having a mortal, human experience good, bad or ugly is the best opportunity to learn and grow that any sentient being could ever experience. Our responsibility is to use the time we have to make our dreams come true by creating the reality we want to live in. Mother’s need to be honored as they give, give and give to us. We as children as we take, take, take until adulthood. Children are the future of the family systems legacy that we inherited eydisauthenticliving.com 45

from our forebears as we are their descendants. Each child is the generational reward for all the suffering and toil come in the form of Grandchildren. After all, “We are Our Ancestors Dreams come True. All mothers nurturing toil and effort wasn’t in vain as life goes on into infinity. Each generation’s DNA is actually borrowed from our Ancestors who came before. Ultimately, everyone is in service of life in one way or another. Each of us individually or collectively have a responsibility whether we’re in a parent or child role add to the diversity to life’s full spectrum of experience manifest in time. We seem to learn through pain or joy or suffering which is a choice. We also learn from “Death” itself that life is a transient but temporary gift to be used honored and enjoyed as a GIFT by each holder with no guarantees. Whatever

A Mother She was all of that and so much more I came as her child as she came before She was my mother and oh, so much more She’s the one who birthed me, whom I still adore She was all that and so much more She’s weathered life’s storms with problems galore She had courage and strength plus trips to the store no detail too small or important to ignore She was all of that and so much more A daughter, a woman, a sister, a mother to my life plus all that and more Even she never knew what life had in store There’s one simple fact I can never ignore She was all that to me and so much more A Mother Poem from Gems of Inspiration by Gary Stuart

we choose to do with the opportunity is up to us. Mothers’ hold the lineage and responsibility to birth humanity each generation. Each newborn

baby is the hope of the future for our entire species. They also gift us the richness of not only our physical body but an emotional body with heartfelt care for ourselves and our souls. Fathers’ show us how to participate in life to activate the Gifts which we bring to the external world and its future as well. This makes LIFE balanced as Yin is to Yang, Good to Bad, Life to Death. Life goes on either way even if it’s balanced or not. We strive for fulfillment at our core. Being in balance with our parents brings us health and wellbeing. We learned from our

46 | Eydis Magazine

mothers how to take care of ourselves enough to thrive and survive. Even if it was the worst childhood imaginable we’ll know what NOT to do which is also a bitter lesson in survival. We want to win and “Life wants to win” as well. The month of May is the time to honor ALL MOTHERS especially those who came before. Life was surely not perfect for many but perfect enough for life to move forward. You represent your ancestors as they do you.

Tips for personal happiness & success: Have humble gratitude for the GIFT of Life. Honor where and who your LIFE came from, both Mother and Father. Be grateful for this experience that was gifted to you as

it contains the riches of all possibilities anyone could manifest in time. Once you understand these concepts and feel gratitude for “LIFE as it IS” you’re more open to the greater heavenly forces that you already possess while living on Earth.

New business insights for those seeking more success: Being in harmony with your Mother and being at peace with her activates a positive field of energy that attracts Clients and brings prosperity toward you. After all, many Clients seek nurturing and Mothering from your products and services. When you bond with customers through trust and care, great success will come your way easily and effortlessly.

Speaker, Author, Constellation Facilitator, Teacher has been documenting his healing experiences over the past several decades. As a young student of Primal Therapy and Shamanism, his insightful writings provide a unique perspective on the correlation between the micro and macro-cosmos, between our inner and outer worlds. His first book on Constellations Many Hearts, One Soul set the stage for his latest book Master Your Universe: How to Direct & Star in Your Own Life on Kindle or paperback at www.Amazon.com He leads healing workshops and trains nationally and internationally and resides in Los Angeles. Distance Family or Organizational Constellations are his healing specialty! He’s coming back to Detroit in August 2017 to WOW again! Give a GIFT that keeps on giving CHANGE. Constellation Healing GIFT CERTIFICATES plus packages available.His FREE Consultation: www. testyourhappiness.com and online www.ConstellationsWithGaryStuart.com

eydisauthenticliving.com 47

Alone

YOU ARE NOT

48 | Eydis Magazine

by Laura Solomon

et’s face it. We are all broken. Anyone who tells you that their life has been easy is either lying or in deep, deep denial. By being transparent about the joys and struggles in our lives, we can help other people to know they aren’t alone. The best service that we can offer is to see a person who is going through a struggle and pick them up, dust them off and redirect them toward a solution. But one thing you should never do is ‘pick up the pieces.’ I mean, why on earth would you want those pieces? There is a reason they were shattered in the first place. Why take the risk of cutting yourself on the sharp edges of a broken heart? The truth is that you can spend way too much time over-thinking why your job, marriage, or relationship didn’t work. We can drive ourselves crazy with the what-ifs or whatcould-have-been’s or we can be more efficient and forget about picking up the pieces and move on to the next right thing. Instead of picking up the pieces like a complicated jigsaw puzzle, painstakingly trying to put it all back together, why not throw the puzzle away?. Totally away. Trash it. Give yourself a chance to start something fresh, something better and something that doesn’t resemble your messy past. eydisauthenticliving.com 49

You are the courageous one that never (ever) gave up hope. I have found that the deepest, darkest parts of my life have given me the greatest wisdom. In writing my book, I may have disclosed too much. But I wanted people to know they can survive suicide, infidelity, rape, abortion and divorce (just to name a few...) My goal was to be as real as it gets so that no matter what someone is going though, they could see a piece of their story in mine and be confident that they will get through it. I also wanted them to know that they are bigger, better and stronger than their problems. Here’s a helpful checklist to begin again:

3 If you always do what you’ve always done, you will get the same results. So change it up and control your fear of failure. You can and you will make a fresh start.

3 Learn from your past and make new and different choices based on everything you’ve been through.

3 Distance yourself from people, places and things that no longer serve you.

Maybe you need to create a whole shiny, new plan. When in doubt, start at the beginning. Take all of the precious lessons you learned and reshape them into your fabulous, renovation of a life. Don’t ever look back with regret. Your experience will become your strength and your strength will become the hope that you can share with other people who have not had the luxury of your experiences. Your strength isn’t just about how much you can handle during a crisis or how much you can handle after it’s over. Your strength is all about how much you are willing to open up about your experiences so you can help others. After all your heartbreaks, mistakes and pain, the bravest thing you can do is recognize that all of that was for a reason. It’s a gift to have lived through hell and rebounded to the degree that you can inspire others with your story. 50 | Eydis Magazine

3 Take the time to plan your next step. Be detailed so that you are specific about your goals and outcome.

3 Most importantly, trust yourself. Your past doesn’t equal your future. And you are ready for only the best and most deserving things that are coming your way. Your life lessons can be your testimony to others and the roadmap for your future. What are you waiting for? Go on and step right over those pieces. Get it, girl.

Laura Solomon is a Opiate Detox Counselor and an Author of Normal Life, available on Amazon.

“Faith Is Taking The Step Even When You Don’t See The Whole Staircase.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Sometimes it’s not about seeing the whole staircase, it’s about taking the next step.

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Working with a coach helps you to move forward in a faster, bigger way than ever imagined. It creates accountability, gives you access to knowledge and tools you may not have and moves you into your magnificence. You are talented! You are Brilliant! You are UNSTOPPABLE! Visit mariasavoy.com to learn more and receive 5 steps to creating a miraculous life.

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SLOWING DOWN, UNPLUGGING & SAVORING THE by Janette Stuart

h, what a treat it is to take it easy, slow it down, look around and really experience the goodness and the beauty in our lives. We tend to rush, rush, rush, pushing faster and faster, cramming more and more into our lives. 52 | Eydis Magazine

Goodness

Today, your invitation is to slow everything down and delight in savoring the goodness, the beauty, and the blessings in your life right now, even for only a few minutes. Today might be a perfect day

to unplug and recharge. A wonderful day to slow down and delight in the gift that is our world. Slowing down, unplugging and recharging is a beautiful gift of self-care. This self-care is not selfish; it is a form of recharging so that you are

replenished and better able to navigate life’s responsibilities. When was the last time you slowed down to take some time for yourself? If you have a hard time remembering or it has been too long, give yourself the gift of five minutes of slowing down, unplugging and savoring the goodness which surrounds us. This is such an important message and a loving prescription to benefit us all. Our world is so busy and noisy; we are connected all the time with phones, computers, music, television (tv) and the like. Today, give yourself a break from it all by unplugging for a while and taking some time to rest, rejuvenate and allow the voice of God to whisper to you. Open your heart and mind to receive the goodness and grace that tenderly calls your name. It’s also a wonderful exercise to extend this time of unplugging for a longer time period as your schedule allows. Place an unplugging date on your calendar and take that time to savor the Divine wisdom that flows to you.

Here’s a list of possibilities to help you slow down, unplug and savor:

your spiritual battery will be recharged. You will be renewed and refreshed with Divine loving and healing. You are invited to delight in that goodness today, dear one.

Connect with a friend or loved one who restores peace in your life.

Turn off the tv, radio, computer and put your phone away for 10 minutes and sit in silence.

If you believe you are too busy to slow down just now, dear one, this reminder is especially important for you.

Take a walk outdoors in nature.

Take a sea salt or Epsom salts bath.

Connect with a pet.

Pour yourself a warm beverage and drink it from a precious vessel in a quiet spot.

Often, if we don’t make the time to slow down, our body will react with its own way to slow us down and that is usually with illness or injury. A loving reminder: even a few minutes of slowing down the frenetic pace of life will do you a world of good.

Enjoy a favorite fruit, savoring the deliciousness and beauty of it.

Write a love letter to yourself.

Create something.

10. Move your body. 11. Read something that feeds your soul.

If you enjoyed this article or are looking for more inspiration and connecting more deeply to your joy, my book “On a Path of Joy”, Volume Two http:// bit.ly/2OAPOJbook is just the thing. Blessings of love, joy, and peace.

After unplugging and communing with the Divine,

I’m Janette Stuart, Founder of Angel Angles which is my labor of love. I have wanted to express my soul’s work in a more visible way and am now devoting more time to Angel Angles since my retirement in 2015. Angel Angles exists to spread more love, joy and peace into the world. I have always loved to write, I write every day. I write longhand in several different journals as well as type electronically. I have always loved handwriting, the sending of cards and notes, the keeping of a journal or diary. My first book, “On a Path of Joy” will be available in September. I am thrilled. My hope is that the book will help the reader develop or enhance their relationship with their Creator. I am a grateful member of and core blogger for The Wellness Universe. The Wellness Universe is an evolutionary community of members who are positively impacting the world in one or more of the 7 areas of wellness. As a lifelong empath, I have experienced people’s feelings deeply. I have a deep compassion for my fellow man and love deeply. I choose to live a joy filled life each day and hope to help others do the same. Joy is my focus word for 2016. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area with my husband of 33 years, Mark, and our rescue boxer dog, Spike. We have a grown son, Max, who is happily serving in the Coast Guard. I am a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, neighbor as well as an angelic practitioner. Besides writing, I am a lifelong learner, who reads daily, I also enjoy walking in nature, sky watching, cooking, RVing along the California Coast and visiting with friends and family. Some of my most requested recipes are Asian Chicken Salad and Sticky Toffee Pudding.

eydisauthenticliving.com 53

Self-Growth

54 | Eydis Magazine

THE EMOTIONAL TRAUMA OF by Mella Barnes

Writing

ramatic title â&#x20AC;Ś. right? I am nothing if not an exaggerator, but this title actually fits what my life

56 | Eydis Magazine

has been lately. Over the last three months, I have been writing at least two articles a month in addition to writing

blog posts for my website and writing a book to be released this April. Writing has taken over my entire life.

trash-talking. I had a really hard time writing authentically about one part of my book. Last year, I was supposed to move to another state with my significant other. We had a house, we had plans, and we had boxes. Everything was moving along. And then it wasn’t. There were issues with the inspection. Then the sellers had issues. Then my significant other had issues. I took on all of these issues and added to them my personality issues, including crippling anxiety and cynicism. I didn’t think writing about it would be hard. It’s just a story, and it happens to people often. I have plenty worse stories to tell. Yet as I wrote this chapter, I kept stopping and staring out my window. I stopped eating. I started drinking (more). I didn’t note the connection between my writing and my behavior. I had written many other chapters already, so why was this one so hard? Where were the words? Where was my motivation? Most importantly, where was my wine?

There are many components involved in writing personal stories. It’s important to be authentic and honest, but not

too honest if it involves other people. Names, descriptions and places should be slightly altered to protect those you are

One of the problems was simple: I wanted to write an entertaining memoir, and there was little about my failed move that was entertaining (unless you enjoy reading about people’s misery). But, don’t we enjoy the misery of others, in a way? How many memoirs have been written about alcoholism, drug abuse, and death? I’m not saying we enjoy hearing about people’s pain, but these eydisauthenticliving.com 57

wouldn’t be such hot-selling books if they didn’t draw us in. They’re relatable, even if we haven’t struggled with the same issues, because we’ve all struggled. We’ve all suffered loss and failure. The stories also offer hope. If the person lived through it to write a book, they’ve obviously improved to some extent. If they can do it, why can’t we? So okay, I don’t need to be entertaining, just authentic and real. The problem was that being authentic meant really diving into the words and experiencing the story all over again. It was hard. Residual feelings of betrayal, anxiety and resentment were all there to guide me through the story. When I stopped writing, the feelings lingered, hiding in the shadows of my house in the evening. I felt their presence like you would feel a ghost. Cold and dark, they clung to my skin. They became most intense when writing, but the intensity only slightly faded when I walked away. I wondered how people could write about their college rape or miscarriage or divorce. How could they write those stores and keep those 58 | Eydis Magazine

thoughts at bay? Maybe they didn’t. Maybe it helped to make the stories more intense.

any better after I finished. I really hoped I would. I had simply retold a story that was hard to experience, which doesn’t always bring a cathartic release the way I had always pictured it would.

I also felt guilty, because this story wasn’t as horrible as many other people’s experiences. I hadn’t been hurt physically. I hadn’t wound up homeless. I hadn’t barely clung to life and survived miraculously. Why did this experience impact me so much? I didn’t get what I wanted and planned for. Okay, so what? I wanted to get over it. I couldn’t. It may not have been a big deal, but my ego, or soul, or whatever you call it, felt its impact like a massive blow to the chest. It felt like a big deal, and I couldn’t explain why or make myself feel it less.

This article is going to end like the chapter did, with no real conclusion or happy ending. So, why did I even write this? Just to depress you? Actually, my thought was that it would serve as a heads-up to those of you who might want to write your story at some point in the future. By all means, write it and dive into the details, because people love challenging stories and relate to them. But be aware that it might not be as healing as you’d hoped. I hope it does bring you a sense of closure and peace, but maybe if you go into it without expectation it will be an easier experience. I hope, at least, it will be easier than mine.

I wanted to wrap up the chapter with a happy ending, but that would mean I’d have to have a happy ending to the story. I don’t yet. I’m still in transition between moving and I don’t know where I’ll be in six weeks, six months or six years (six days is easy - I’ll be on my couch per usual). I got to the end where nothing worked out as planned, and that’s where the story ends. Life often works out that way, and yet we try to conclude with “and they lived happily ever after” each time. The chapter ended with a real update to the story. It wasn’t wrapped up neatly with a bow, but neither is life. I didn’t feel

In case you’re curious, the book is called “Creating in Chaos: Surviving My First Year as an Entrepreneur” and is available on Amazon. It has much happier stories with better endings, I promise. Mella is a session singer, songwriter and producer living in Nashville, Tennessee. Also an animal lover, she has three dogs, a rabbit, and any number of foster animals in various shapes and sizes. She is the author of Way Less Cowbell, a book on communicating with session musicians. If you would like more information or to hire her onto your project, please visit www.mellamusic.com

Writers Wanted

info@eydisauthenticliving.com eydisauthenticliving.com 59

Connecting You With You

HONOR YOUR MOTHER

AND EMBRACE YOUR FEMININE ENERGIES WITHIN by Amanda Butler

or the last two months, we’ve been in the energy of New Beginnings and you’ve been asked to set your intentions and goals. So what have you considered and what have you noticed…

60 | Eydis Magazine

♦ Are you focused on what you DO want versus what you do not? ♦ Are you taking steps towards your goals even if they’re baby steps?

♦ Are you tapping into the Power you hold within and allowing for the Universe to guide you? May is the month of the Mother so let’s talk about the

is your feeling tone and the intuitive part of you. Whether you are male or female, we all hold feminine, masculine and inner child energies which I call the Inner Family. Honoring Your Mother … Since May is a time of the feminine, let’s dive into it more. Mother’s Day is a time of celebration when we recognize our mothers. In many families, for many sons and daughters, it’s easy to fill our hearts full of gratitude and appreciation for our moms. We love, respect and honor our moms for all that they are and all they do. At least that’s the ideal scenario. But, what if this isn’t true for you? Many times, sons and daughters feel their mothers weren’t there for them. They have their ‘stories’ about how their mothers ‘should’ have been, or how they ‘should’ have shown up, but never did. Maybe, she wasn’t emotionally, or physically, there for you. Maybe, she said some hurtful things to you, or about you. Maybe, she didn’t listen, acknowledge or support you in ways you would have liked. And a worst case scenario, perhaps there was physical, sexual, mental, verbal and/or emotional abuse. Mother energy and the Power within. Do you realize you have a natural compass for your success and Highest Potential? If you question your decisions or choices, then drop within and tap into your Power of your

internal compass which is called your intuition or as some call it, your ‘gut feeling’. The Mother within you is your ‘feminine’ energy which is your compass. Your feminine energy

Some or all of this may be true and your scars may run deep. But now you’re a grown-up. You have the Power to choose a different ‘story’ and give the old ‘story’ a rest so you can move on. When you keep telling the ‘old’ story, you will eydisauthenticliving.com 61

do the best they can with what they learned and experienced in their own lives. Let’s say she didn’t know how to express her feelings because in her life she was taught to suppress them i.e. “Children are to be seen and not heard.” How can you realistically expect her to be emotionally available for you when she doesn’t even know how, or most likely afraid of expressing or being her Self due to reprimands of the past?

Compassion

Power from The Diamond Co-Creative System™ The Universal Energy Form of Compassion from The Diamond Co-Creative System™ provides the energetic vibrations to help you activate your Soul Codes of Destiny and Success. This sacred geometry technology can help you access the energies of Compassion. It opens your heart to allow the energetic vibration of MORE compassion which creates MORE Love, Acceptance and pure Joy in who you are and what you do. You become MORE aligned with your Soul’s Essence and the Universe’s Highest Potential that is held for you.

create the same story. The story may have different characters, but the patterns and the feelings will be the same. When you live in the past and hold onto the past, you can’t move forward and manifest what you really want. Now, you could be right about your ‘story’ and you feel justified in telling it. You could 62 | Eydis Magazine

keep tearing your mother down with your words, or in your mind. You have the right to feel your feelings, but who are you really hurting if you allow your ‘story’ and feelings to continue to ‘run’ you and your life? Who continues to be in pain and suffer? YOU. Consider that mothers, just like the rest of us, have done and

Let’s say your mom was brought up in an environment where there was a lack of emotional connection, or even abuse, then what model did she have to follow? She would have to choose to learn and experience something different to break a familial cycle or to create a new pattern. For many of us, our parents or grandparents grew up in the depression era and during times of war. For many, it was all they could do to put food on the table and a roof over their heads in order to survive. Back then, most people didn’t have the tools and awareness we have today to choose Love and Thrival even in the midst of challenging circumstances. Add in the energies of codependency of dysfunctional, unhealthy behaviors and not being able to truly express who you are … it’s a formula to create disconnection and distrust. How many times have you claimed, “I refuse to be just like my mother!” Yet, when you

look at your Self and your life, there are so many similarities. Perhaps, as you speak to your children or interact with them, it’s like you’re channeling your mom. This is conditioning and programming you’ve taken on through what you learned and experienced as you were growing up. It’s really no one’s fault, it just is. You can utilize your experience as the contrast to what you don’t want, without making your mom wrong. So how about giving your mother a break? Are you in a place where you’re able to do so? When you look for her to ‘be’ and do things in a certain way i.e. love YOU free of conditions, can YOU do the same? Can you be loving, compassionate and accepting of her … all parts of her? Do you do that with your Self …

are you loving, compassionate and accepting of all parts of your Self? Clue: If you’re not, then you can’t be that way with another, and how can you expect her to do the same? No matter what, deep down, your mother does love you even if it’s not shown in the way you want or expect. Let go of your attachment to her being anything more than she is. Love her just as she is, just as you have hoped she would do the same with you (do so even if she has passed on).

allow love to come back in. Let go of what you think a ‘perfect’ mom ‘should’ look like and be. When you continue to harp on what isn’t, then you will simply get more of the same. Then, there’s no room for love and compassion to exist.

Let go and forgive the past so you can live in the present. Heal the wounded inner child. Be the nurturer of your Self versus looking to her to do it for you.

Focus on what is … what are the ways she did or does show you love, what are the ways she supports you, what are you grateful for? Sit down and make a list or write her a letter (even if she’s no longer alive) and thank her for the contributions she has made in your life. If it seems hard to do, ask your Self what is the payoff to keep blaming her for the woes of your life. It’s time to heal your inner child and heal the pain.

Let go of the disappointment, resentment, anger so you can

Choose to have a whole different experience with your

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mom this Mother’s Day and see her through the eyes of the innocent child and love her unconditionally. Let her know how much you love and care for her! You’ll feel better and you will be able to open up to receiving love once again … from her, from others and from your Self! Find out how your codependency creates a relationship or situation where you’re stuck in the past and how it gets in the way of your ability to live and love freely. Take the FREE CoDependent Survey and book your complimentary 15-Minute Consultation to help you move forward. Your time to heal the past is now! http://cocreateyoursuccess. com/success-tools/assessments/ Now that you’ve acknowledged the Mother outside of you, let’s go within to … 64 | Eydis Magazine

Embrace Your Feminine Energies Life is actually much easier when we allow all aspects of ourselves to be activated and present. The energetic qualities of the feminine are: ♥ The Goddess ♥ Heart/Emotional/ Feelings/Intuitive ♥ Receptive/Gatherer/ Inward/Quiet ♥ Nurturer/Gentle/Caring/ Kind ♥ Fluid/Expansive/ Universal/Circular/Soft ♥ Chaos/Decomposition/ Etheric Whether you are male or female, remember qualities of the female, male and inner child … your Inner Family resides within you. If you allow each aspect to become strong and

tap into their Power, then it’s much easier to co-create what you want. Typically, I have found that with most of my clients and even with my Self, our feminine aspect is shut down. Not surprising. As we look back in time, the feminine has not really been valued. People shied away from being emotional and weren’t allowed to express their feelings. Stay-at-home moms weren’t as valued the same as the men who go to work and “bring home the bacon”, so to speak. I have many female clients who still feel if they don’t contribute financially to the family, then they are not as valuable or worthy, even though their ‘job’ is to take care of the children and the home. This is how we have been ‘wired’ over the centuries to think, feel and believe.

In fact, for years I was really ‘pissed off’ being born a girl. Maybe you can relate to this. I thought boys and men had it all … that they controlled me, others and the Universe. I thought and did things in a very masculine way to compensate for being a girl, but also because that’s what I was taught and programmed to do in order to succeed. ‘Dog eat dog’ and ‘the good ole boys club’. I was in conflict of being who I Truly. I felt abandoned, separated and unlovable within my Self and in relationships of all types. Plus, when you have a ‘wounded’ relationship with the Mother archetype, then it will show up in the relationship with your feminine Self. I didn’t embrace the feminine side of me until I started understanding energy and healing my energetic patterns. Now, I love ‘BE’-ing a woman and Truly embrace my feminine aspect. I have learned to trust my feminine side and I trust my intuition. Meditation is part of my daily practice to give me time to sit and be still so I can feel connected, aligned and centered. It allows for me to feel into what’s True, rather than try to figure it out with the limited scope of my thinking. We don’t always see the bigger picture, but with the feminine, we have the ability to feel and experience the MORE that’s available and receive Divine guidance, inspiration, and ideas.

As time has gone by, we as a culture, have experienced a shift to open up to the feminine. Meditation, yoga, etc. have become a part of our daily lives. Feelings now have merit and we acknowledge that tapping into them allows us to live more fully and feel more vibrant and alive. More of us listen to our ‘gut feelings’ and follow our intuition. There is a shift in consciousness which allows for the feminine to be reignited and empowered. When you enliven the feminine and invite her in, then the masculine can actually relax and not be so stressed out; he no longer feels like it’s all on him ‘to get things done’ and accomplish your goals and dreams singlehandedly.

listen, there’s usually struggle and unhappiness of some kind with lessons that are to be learned. Tapping into the Power of your feminine will strengthen your confidence and the True belief in your Self. To get more in touch with the different aspects of your Self, I highly suggest going onto the 28-Day Soul’s Essence Journey! http://cocreateyoursuccess. com/28dayjourney/ Enjoy the feminine energies of May and love and embrace the Mother that lives within you and your mother outside of you!

The feminine is glad to help! She is the gatherer of ideas and inspiration. She is the nurturer. She feels into things and utilizes emotions (energy in motion) to be the gauge of what’s Truly occurring for you. She is the intuitive which can guide you to say yes or no. She feels and knows when things are in energetic alignment for you and when they are not. She also gives the ‘go ahead’ to the masculine when it’s time to take action.

Amanda Butler is the Architect of The Diamond Co-Creative System™ and since 2001 has assisted thousands to heal their present and past life energetics, while activating their Soul Codes of Destiny and Success, so they create an integration and vibrational alignment between their Soul’s Essence and personality/egoic Self. The results … they feel connected with their authentic Self, True purpose, passion, joy and love with the ability to fulfill their Highest Potential and live their MORE!

This month is an opportunity to get to know the feminine aspect of your Self even MORE and to learn to listen. When you listen, it all flows seamlessly. When you don’t

www.CoCreateYourSuccess.com

For more about Amanda and The Diamond Co-Creative System ™, go to: http://cocreateyoursuccess. com/28dayjourney/ https://www.facebook.com/ createyourdiamondlife

FINDING GREATNESS WITHIN YOU by Lolly Daskal

here is greatness within you. Whether you’re sailing through life or struggling, whether the path ahead is smooth or everything around you is falling apart—no matter. There is greatness within you.

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It may be hard for you to tap into your greatness in this moment. You may be experiencing frustration and failure. You may be feeling disappointed and disillusioned. But remember, you are here to do more and

be more and accomplish more. Wherever you end up going, it’s forward movement away from where you’ve been. You have something to offer that nobody else has. Too often,

experiences in their lives. It’s easy at those times to lose faith, to ask yourself, “Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?” But the greatness within you persists through good and bad, success and failure. It persists in spite of the voice that tells you to play small, to stay safe and to keep dwelling on the past instead of moving forward—the voice that would keep you on the path to mediocrity. And you know that’s not why you’re here, to play small and stay safe. You’re here to share your greatness with the world. Life may have tried to push you down through your struggles and your setbacks, and you may be unhappy in this moment. But I know that you have the potential to rise up and become everything you were created to be. There is greatness within you. We just have to find it together. But how?

however, we allow our struggles and adversities and setbacks to deter us—and we soon find that we are no longer pressing forward. We quit stretching, and we experience a slow erosion of our belief that we can move

past our struggles or rise higher in our lives.

It begins with a commitment to yourself—a commitment to let go of your disappointments, to disempower the wrongs and disregard the unhelpful opinions of others. A commitment to seek out and get rid of any trace of negativity. A commitment to rising higher and going deeper, to taking a step forward knowing there is nothing you can do about the past.

Ironically, it’s often the most talented and gifted people who go through some of the most unfair and unfortunate

Remember that everything you seek lies ahead of you and everything that you need is already within you.

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For over three decades I have been coaching people to find the greatness within themselves. I’ve seen the power of certain principles and techniques again and again—across 14 countries, in six languages, in thousands and thousands of people. if you’re going through a tough time, if you want to do better, if you aspire to high levels of achievement, read on and begin the journey of finding the greatness within you. LIVE YOUR TRUTH. Many people go through life living a lie—pretending to be someone they are not. They may have bought into the popular concept of “fake it till you make it,” only to be left miserable, unhappy and frustrated. If you want to find your greatness, live your truth. You have, in the words of poet Mary Oliver, one wild and precious life. Live it

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with all your passion and skills and hard-won knowledge, with all your accomplishments and false starts and failings, with everything you have to share. DON’T UNDERESTIMATE YOURSELF. Why do we tell ourselves we’re not worthy of what we want, not deserving of success and happiness? No one can ever give you your self-worth—and when you withhold it from yourself you are robbing yourself of your own well-being. Become aware of any ways you undercut yourself, diminish yourself, undermine yourself. Recognize how much that thinking limits you, and determine that it will stop this moment. You were created to reach your highest potential, to excel at the things you choose to do, to soar. There is no limit to what you can accomplish when you stop underestimating yourself.

DON’T ALLOW YOUR PAST TO DICTATE YOUR FUTURE. Too often we allow experiences from the past to hold us back. Perhaps it was a bad relationship, a business failure, or a break between partners. Don’t allow any failures or mistakes from your past to haunt you or keep you from creating the future you want. Understand that those experiences, painful as they may have been, have taught you and prepared you for a better future—for a healthy relationship, a thriving business, a strong partnership. Through good experiences and bad your talents are there to be shared with the world, again and again. LET GO OF WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK. Other people don’t determine your potential, and nothing they say or think changes who you are. What is important is what you think of yourself and the messages you give yourself. How do you treat yourself? What’s the tone of your selftalk? Telling yourself things that put you down will keep you down, and trying to live up to what others want you to be will keep you from being yourself. Tap into your own power and leave the remarks and judgments of others behind.

keep dreaming bigger and taking yourself to the next level.

DON’T ALLOW REJECTION TO KEEP YOU DOWN. At some point, we all suffer some kind of rejection or disappointment. When it happens to you, it’s easy to get discouraged and persuade yourself to settle for less than you want. Telling yourself “I guess it’s not meant to be” is a way of trying to rationalize rejection. The positive response is to get back up, and keep getting back up as many times as necessary. Don’t give in or let go of what you want, but remind yourself that doors will open and opportunities will be there again. A dead end means it’s time to find a different path, a new road, an alternate route to get you where you’re headed—and instead of giving up, to get going. STRETCH YOURSELF. Even when you’ve achieved a certain level of success, make sure there are always new challenges, new dreams and new goals to pursue. The best is yet to come! Don’t allow life to

become dull or complacent, but keep dreaming and hoping and learning. Start a new project, learn a new skill, develop a new relationship, have a new experience—keep pushing ahead toward new dreams and greater hopes. DREAM BIGGER THAN YOURSELF. If you’re struggling to find your greatness, you may be thinking too small. How big are you dreaming? To find greatness, you must make the dream in your heart bigger than the place where you find yourself right now. That may mean a change of direction or an entirely new path. As Joseph Campbell said, “You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.” I can tell you with confidence that if you dream bigger you can live bigger, you can do more and be more. Don’t allow yourself to be weighed down by distraction or disappointments—you have to

There is greatness within you! You just have to look within to find it. I know this because I have found greatness in myself and I’ve watched the people I coach find it within themselves. If you’re interested in finding out more about living in your greatness, preorder my new book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness at theleadershipgapbook.com. Lolly Daskal is one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world. Her extensive cross-cultural expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies. As founder and CEO of Lead From Within, her proprietary leadership program is engineered to be a catalyst for leaders who want to enhance performance and make a meaningful difference in their companies, their lives, and the world. Based on a mix of modern philosophy, science, and nearly thirty years coaching top executives, Lolly’s perspective on leadership continues to break new ground and produce exceptional results. Of her many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc. com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others Lolly’s proprietary insights are the subject of her new book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness, and is available for order: www. theleadershipgapbook.com Personal Website: www.lollydaskal.com Book site: www.theleadershipgapbook.com Twitter: www.twitter.com/lollydaskal

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Feelings: BETTER OUT THAN IN

by Liberty Forrest

ar too often, most of us choke on our feelings. We feel tears welling up with that awful, aching lump in the throat, and we take several deep breaths, forcing the emotions back down where they can do all kinds of

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damage. They make us sick or depressed, give us physical pain and discomfort, sometimes with the weirdest symptoms that doctors simply cannot explain. We fear being seen as weak. For some reason, our culture

thinks a display of emotion means weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re out of control. But there are only two occasions in which emotions can hurt us. One is when we stuff them and do not acknowledge them. The other is when we make hasty

decisions purely because of our feelings, without thinking them through, and end up hurting ourselves - or others - as the result of our poor choices. But there is nothing wrong with having painful or difficult feelings, and there is nothing wrong with expressing them (appropriately). Having them makes us human. Expressing them helps to get rid of them and it connects us with others, many of whom will offer support and comfort, thereby strengthening our bonds with one another. The best way to get rid of unwanted feelings is to immerse yourself in them. Take a little time and allow yourself to really feel every bit of whatever it is that hurts. If you want to cry, cry. Lots. Until you can’t cry anymore. You’ll feel a whole lot better for it. If you’re frightened, feel the fear. Ask for some hand-holding. And remind yourself that you are strong enough to get through anything. Do whatever you need to do when bothersome feelings are standing in the way of you and your happiness, and let them out. Get it over and done once and for all. Think of it as housecleaning. Gathering all the rubbish and putting it out on the drive to be collected on trash day. If you keep digging, eventually you’ll find less and less “stuff” that needs removing and turfing.

This doesn’t mean it’s a good thing to sit around and feel miserable every waking minute either. You must strike a balance. But certainly, choking back unhappy feelings is not any better for you than spending 24/7 whining about your miseries for days, weeks and months on end. Once the crying jag is behind you, take some time to look at the positives in your life. Set some goals and take a step or two (even if they’re teeny) toward achieving them. Just don’t be afraid of your feelings. Allow them to be heard. You can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge, as the good Dr. Phil says. Give your feelings a chance to speak up so you know just what’s on your plate. Chances are, the more you do this, the quicker the issue will dissolve or will find a resolution in your heart. You wouldn’t let an infection fester below the surface or in your blood. You’d be off to the doc, figuring out how to fix it because you know that infections left untended can kill you. Well, negative emotions can do it, too. Quietly and insidiously by giving you cancer, heart disease or a million other ailments, or a little more overtly by making you say and do some very hurtful things to yourself and/or to others. Expressing your emotions is the great equalizer. It makes you the same as everyone else. It levels the playing field. It shows your strength. It shows your

vulnerability, your softness. It helps people get to know you because they see just what affects you on a deep level, which then connects you with everyone else on the planet because really, we are all pretty much the same in many ways. We are unique in our personalities and in our perceptions of our life experiences, of course, but everyone hurts, everyone needs, everyone feels some version of the same emotions. How we do all of this and how we express these aspects of ourselves is what separates us from one another. But we’re really not so different in terms of our emotions. So go on. Stop hiding behind a wall that you think keeps you separate and sets you apart from everyone else. Because I can assure you, you’re not fooling anyone. We know you hurt, too. And we’ll be here for you when you’re brave enough to tell us about it. Liberty Forrest is an award-winning inspirational author and Huffington Post contributor. For five years, she did frequent phone-ins on the BBC as a psychic/medium. With a background in social work and counselling, Liberty’s unique program uses a highly creative multifaceted approach to get people unstuck so that they can move forward in their personal and spiritual evolution. eydisauthenticliving.com 71

The Butterfly Moment What is a “Butterfly Moment?” There is an incredible “HAPPENING” that occurs when a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. The caterpillar is encapsulated by a cocoon of its own making. It is imprisoned in a state of total immobility and darkness. Understandably, it must be a time of pain, panic and despair. However, as a certain life force of “allowing” takes over, this creature instinctively “lets go and lets God” an incredible transformation occurs. It is a transformation and struggle that is totally personal. Scientist tell us that if you help a caterpillar by cutting it out of the cocoon it will die because this struggle pushes life giving energy deep into its growing wings. In other words, “no pain…no gain.” As life energies slowly break loose the caterpillar from the cocoon, an incredible moment occurs. This caterpillar has a realization. It is a moment when it finally understands that all of this pain, panic and despair were for a reason. The caterpillar is not what it thought it was! It is one of the most beautiful insects in the world… that can fly!

Can you think of a more “AHA!” moment like this?

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THE HIGH COST OF COMPARING by David Larson

e all seem to do it. It seems automatic. It’s as if it’s built in, natural, normal. But it’s not. We are trained to compare ourselves to others by our parents, our teachers, our coaches, even our

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friends. Somehow we think that by comparing ourselves to others, we will do better, feel better, that somehow life will be better. However, it is terribly selfdefeating. Here are four reasons why:

When we compare ourselves to others, we are often comparing what we see as the strengths of others against what we perceive as the weaknesses in ourselves. How fair is that? It’s a sure set up for feeling bad. Who in their right mind would take the worst in

we feel good about ourselves, then, unless we continue to verify seeing ourselves as “better”? That becomes a prison in itself.

Comparing in and of itself would not be so destructive if we could do it without judging. But when we compare, we almost always add a judgment to it. If we could say, “That house she has is remarkable,” and celebrate it, that would be one thing. But when most of us say something like that to ourselves or others, we are usually resenting or are disappointed that we don’t have one too, and we are judging that reality as bad. We get jealous. We feel like we’re a failure by comparison. We think the other person is more gifted, more talented, more lucky, more something…, and again we end up feeling bad. However, if we can say, “Look at how pretty she is,” and really appreciate the beauty with joy, or think “That girl can really sing!” and enjoy the wonder of it – in gratitude, not judgment – it steers it in a different direction from feeling bad to instead feeling good.

us and match it up against the best in others? There can be no possible pay-off for this except to feel bad. When we do this, we are gluttons for punishment. Or, some of us go to the other extreme. We want to find the deficiencies in others that we do not perceive in ourselves, so we can say, “At least I’m not

that bad.” We attempt to raise our own self-esteem by thinking that being better than others at something makes us more important or more valuable or more desirable. If we use this kind of comparing to build ourselves up, we are doomed to forever be caught in the web of continuing it, for how can

Comparing depreciates the uniqueness in each of us. Since each of us is a one-of-a-kind creation, our presence on the planet and our gift to the world is priceless and irreplaceable. Comparing diminishes these unique wonders in us because

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it introduces competition into the picture instead of full appreciation of who we are. There is no competition, folks. Don’t take your eyes off the irreplaceable self that you are.

He’s one of those fellows for which everything turns to gold. He has everything he wants, or at least it appears so.

Here is an antidote to comparing I’ve found works well for me: Get curious about the differences you notice.

I could have been jealous, but I chose to be curious instead. I asked him questions about success, money, what it’s like to live in different parts of the country and in different countries. We talked about health, and relationships, and our faith. We discussed business strategies, and how to motivate people, and how people he’s met from different cultures have blessed his life. He told me about his heroes and his dreams. We talked about what we can learn from other nations and peoples, and how diversity and the uniqueness of each of us is a blessing, with each of us being a thread of a master tapestry.

I recently spent the weekend with an old college roommate at one of his grand residences.

To stay feeling good, celebrate the wonderful gifts, talents, intelligence, strength, beauty,

When we compare, we miss the opportunities to appreciate the greatness in others. In our attempt to see ourselves as “better,” we might not be aware of the great gifts of others that can be a gift to everyone they meet – including us! Celebrating each other feels good, encourages all involved, and brings out the best in us that the world so desperately needs.

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and achievements of others. Be curious, not judgmental, about differences in people. Celebrate also your own unique combination of gifts that make you priceless. Only you can deliver what you came to deliver to the planet. If you don’t show up, we miss experiencing you, learning from you, being inspired by you, enjoying you. Don’t cheat us, please. You can never be a good somebody else. And no one could ever be a better you than you. David is a licensed psychologist in private practice who has been leading people into life fulfillment for more than thirty years. His work with Kate Sholonski at Triumph Leadership Group involves creating and sustaining healthy and productive relationships in the workplace. David is a contributing author to four books, has been a TV talk show host, and resides in rural Minnesota with his wife, Carol.

ADVERTISING THAT WORKS Be Seen In Eydis Authentic Living Magazine

info@eydisauthenticliving.com

Purpose

FINDING YOUR by Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

“Who am I? What am I doing here? How can I make a difference?” Do you have a deep yearning to know? You probably first asked this of yourself while in college. During or after the child-rearing years, you may again face this sense of urgency. As you approach retirement, you will once again assess your life experiences and determine if you have really lived your purpose. This can be a life-long search because of the journey, and therefore the answer, shifts. This pursuit seems to take on a more vibrant call for the individuals that I call Sensitives – those who are keenly attuned to the six senses. Even during childhood, Sensitives feel an urgency. Sensitive or not, you probably feel it more prominently now. There is a need to shift our planet toward peace and love. If your direction and purpose still seem mysterious, you can begin to find your way.

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SEEK PASSION OVER COMPULSION When your purpose seems elusive, pay attention to what you pay attention to. The things that make you happy and make your heart sing are often indicative of your passion. It can guide you to knowing who you are and what you want in life. This is a very different feeling than what is experienced when you play video and computer games. The enjoyment or compulsion of wanting to play is usually not from passion; gaming is more often used to keep the brain occupied in order to avoid feelings. What did you enjoy when you were a child? What types of books did you read? What made you laugh and brought you joy? It’s time to incorporate these playful activities into your adult life once again.

HEAR YOUR HEART AND SPIRIT What am I most afraid of? If I knew I would die in 3 months, what would I do?? If fear and money were not a factor… What I know for sure. (Oprah’s O Magazine) Using paper or computer, brainstorm the many ways that you can complete one of these phrases in order to identify your passions. Look for the patterns and themes that emerge. If you are feeling resistant, close your eyes and let your breath clear your mind. Most importantly, watch for the surge of emotions. If you experience a mini-cry, note it and keep going. You are getting close. These minisurges may be direction-finders toward your purpose. When you identify the real deal, its energy will resonate within you. 80 | Eydis Magazine

RECOGNIZE THE ILLUSION OF THE EGO Wayne Dyer is considered a ‘master teacher’ about Ego. He explained perceived-identity as follows: The ego is an idea that each of us has about ourselves. Letting it become your identity can prevent you from knowing your true self. Instead, learn to recognize your inner reality. Inside is a still voice of wisdom that you have rarely heard or attended to. Dyer calls this your wise guide. Transcend your illusions to find and hear the guidance of your wise self.

OVERCOME RESISTANCE In The War of Art, Steven Pressfield explains that you will experience resistance when you are moving upward from a lower vibrating level. The resistance is a sign that your wise self-has recognized the dream and that you are being drawn to it. Resistance is thought. You will think that they are your

thoughts, but they are the illusion of the ego. Meditation allows you to transcend the illusionary voices so that you can hear your inner voice of wisdom and allow the fear-based thoughts to pass by.

are limiting beliefs. Don’t underestimate the influence of the cashier who greets you with a warm smile that comes from the depths of her heart. She is no less important than the doctor who saves lives.

Rather than succumbing to the fear, overcome it. Resistance is a sign that you are ascending toward your goal. Instead of judging yourself negatively, reframe resistance as readiness for the next step and take action.

Amateurs yield to the resistance that appears as distractions and fear. Instead, think like professionals – play for keeps. Commit! As soon as you do, your Higher Self will provide a tail wind (synchronicities) to make the journey easier.

DON’T DELAY Don’t believe that something needs fixing before you can achieve. When you were little and naturally moved toward your purpose, others may have blocked you thinking they were helping. Now when you are almost there don’t sabotage yourself. Your purpose is your calling. It may be your career, a hobby, or volunteer work. Don’t limit yourself because you believe that you can only make a difference if you can be one thing or do another. These

Judy Lipson is a licensed, professional counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom. net, and visit SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care. eydisauthenticliving.com 81

ROMANCE COACH

A BROKEN HEART IS NOT TERMINAL by Lisa Sawicki

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Lisa Sawicki, San Diego Certified Life, Dating, Romance Coach says, “When your heart gets broken for the 1st time or the 10th time, it is one of the most excruciating emotional ‘sting’ you will ever feel.” You are not alone. Most people have experienced this in their lifetime and not only survived it but have found love again. That’s the good news. But right now, if your heart is broken, it is hard to imagine that you will ever overcome this emotional pain and even move on to find Romantic Love again. When you first get your heart broken, it can create a physical sensation of a heavy weight in your chest for a little while. It is common to just feel ’emotionally dead’ for a while and even experience many crying bouts. This is common for both Women and Men. Even if you were in a bad or unhealthy relationship, many rejected lovers keep hoping and praying that your partner will return. It is very common when you are heartbroken to actually believe that no one else in the whole world will ever take the place of the love you feel or felt for that person. The truth is, you will be able to feel love again. It has been proven over and over again throughout Centuries that most broken hearts can and will love again. You may not believe this right now because you are momentarily blinded with grief, but time and mental and physical activity will actually heal your heart whole and mended once again. Just remember, your heartbreak grief is temporary and will go away.

Give yourself some time to heal and nurture. Try to avoid talking about it and thinking about it. Keep your mind and body active with pleasurable activities. Go out for walks; read, watch movies, dance, drum, exercise, volunteer, anything and everything that takes your mind off your hurt and brings you pleasure. Make a list of all the things that you enjoy doing inside your home and outside your home. make a list of 50 things you like/love about you and keep it in your wallet. Stay away from conversations with people that make you feel bad or remind you of your pain. You do not owe anyone an explanation of your breakup. People who truly like, love and respect you should respect your feelings and not probe with ‘What do you think went wrong’ questions. Most people don’t ever know the real reason why their romance didn’t last. So stop trying to figure out why and start moving into acceptance. Learn more about Lisa Sawicki San Diego Certified Life/ Dating/Romance Coach at: www.theLisaDifference.com. Certified Life/ Executive Coach, LLC, LPCC, ID CA lisa@selfcoachnow.com 619-722-5056 Lisa Sawicki is a dedicated and trustworthy licensed professional clinical counselor. Since 1986, she has successfully coached thousands of individuals and groups in the San Diego and Michigan areas. Lisa has an intuitive ability to guide her clients through their challenges and toward their desired goals, while teaching them how to attain emotional health. Her Coaching and Training Workshops are custom designed for each specific individual, organization and audience.

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SIMPLY Spiritual

THE DREAM EXPERTS

What Does Your Dream Mean? by Kathryn and Patrick Andries

Dear Dream Expert, I was getting ready for my wedding. I was trying on the dress, but it was too tight. Then I realized the room we were going to have the reception in was not ready. The walls needed painting. So, I got some paint and was painting the walls. I was feeling stressed because the wedding was supposed to start and I was not ready. I wanted the walls to be pretty, so I painted it with many colors. After I realized I got paint all over myself, and I had to go get it off. Somehow I got the paint off. Then I heard them playing the wedding

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music, and I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t find my wedding dress. I was not upset about this, and I decided to wear the clothes I was wearing when I was painting. Sincerely, Jittery Bride

Dear Jittery Bride, A wedding indicates you are making a commitment to your inner self. The inner self is your soul, the permanent part of yourself. However, you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feel prepared for this commitment. You first realize your self-expression needs some adjusting (the dress being too small) and your mind is not ready for this new commitment (the walls are not painted). You used creative problem solving to overcome your mental challenges (painting the walls). This resulted in inner harmony (music). This inner harmony helped you overcome any anxiety about your outer expression.

Dear Dream Expert, I dreamt that my husband and I are sleeping on the floor on a mattress. The house has glass walls and I hear something outside. I look outside and see a man walking around the house. I get out my cell phone and call 911. No one answers so I leave a message for help. Soon the police arrive. They arrest 2 men who were going to set fire to our house. I got on top of one of the men to try and get him to say why he wanted to set the house on fire. He says a man hired him to do it. I wasn’t sure why someone would want to set fire to our house. Sincerely, Distraught

Dear Dream Expert, I dreamt I went to pick up my daughter from school. She said she was really tired because she didn’t eat much that day. I wondered what was wrong. Later I was talking to a mom who said she had 8 more years of school to get her Masters degree. I asked her how old she was, and she said 35. Sincerely, Concerned Parent

Dear Distraught, You are assimilating information (sleeping). Your mind is very open, and this makes you feel vulnerable. You fear an aspect of yourself is forcing you to expand your mind (setting fire to your house). You try and stop this and ask for help from a disciplined aspect of yourself (calling the police). You use discipline to tame and stop these unfamiliar aspects from causing too much inner expansion. You question this part of yourself to learn why it wants you to expand your thinking (fire is expansion), but you get no answers. I recommend you look at where your thinking is limited and allow your mind to expand, rather than stopping it.

Dear Concerned Parent, This dream shows you are wanting to learn and mature. You are communicating with an immature aspect of yourself (daughter) which is in the process of learning. Although you are invested in helping this aspect to mature, it is not receiving the knowledge it needs (lack of food). You question why there is a lack of knowledge available. Later you connect with a part of yourself that is more mature and engaged in higher learning (woman attending school to obtain her Master’s degree.) I suggest you focus on giving this newer aspect of yourself the knowledge it is desiring. The school (manner in which you are learning) is not offering you what you need, so I suggest examining other methods of attaining wisdom.

Kathryn and Patrick Andries are the dream experts. They are the authors of the recently released book from Ozark Mountain Publishing, Naked in Public: Dream Symbols Revealed, and The Dream Doctor. If you would like a dream interpreted, please send it in the body of an e-mail to: intuitiveschool@sbcglobal.net. Learn more about their books at www.ozarkmt.com.

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Talk to Tamara Tamara, the relationship whisperer, is like a walking instruction manual for all of your love, dating. and relationship questions. Ask her your burning questions and she’ll guide you in the direction that is right for you. To ask your questions go to eydisauthenticliving.com’s home page and click on Tamara’s picture, under our “Let’s Talk” section.

by Tamara Green

here have been a lot of inquiries from readers on how to cultivate intimacy in their relationships. Therefore, I decided to devote the next 3 monthly editions to my Survival Guide For Couples: Reigniting Intimacy. This is a 3-part series, where I give the low-down on intimacy to help you and your partner experience profound love and closeness.

SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR COUPLES: REIGNITING INTIMACY

In this month’s edition, you’ll gain insights on the different types of intimacy. In the June edition, you’ll be educated on the main culprits that erode intimacy. In the July edition, you’ll be given the secrets to experiencing lasting, fun and juicy intimacy in your relationship for years to come. Each month, you’ll be given homework assignments that will amp things up (in a good way) with your partner.

Intellectual Intimacy An exchange and/or support of each other’s thoughts, ideas, and opinions. This involves verbal communication.

Before you can reignite your intimacy, however, it’s important to understand the different types of intimacy, so let’s get started.

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PART 1- WHAT IS INTIMACY? Intimacy is one of the most precious commodities we have in relationships. It’s something that takes time, is a process and a journey that two people take together. There are 4 different types of intimacy.

I’ll use my mother and stepfather as an example for this type of intimacy. Every Sunday, they would read the LA Times while drinking coffee during the morning hours. Then at lunch or dinner, they would discuss what they read, which sometimes turned into a friendly debate. They enjoyed these exchanges because they had a chance to share their opinions and ideas with one another. As the witness to their intellectual intimacy, I enjoyed it, too.

Energetic Intimacy When a couple engages in mutual activities. This usually does not involve verbal communication, but rather an energetic synergy. I’ll share my own personal example of this type of intimacy. In 2014, my husband had stage-4 cancer. Thrown into our new roles as patient and caregiver, we decided to use mindfulness and meditation to help ease this journey. It worked beautifully because we just celebrated 3 years of being cancer free! As a result of this experience and wanting to be a contribution to others, we created an app that delivers guided meditations specifically designed for cancer patients/survivors and caregivers called Loving Meditations. For hours each week, we share an energetic intimacy quietly being together (writing, composing music and photography) and creating powerful and transformative meditation audios and videos for those who need it most.

“The fastest road to delicious intimacy is to give your partner exactly what it is that you desire.” – Tamara Green, LCSW

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sexually turns you on. Go ahead, have some fun! ;-) Stay tuned for next month’s edition where I reveal the culprits to eroding intimacy.

Emotional Intimacy Sharing your feelings and a desire to understand the feelings of your partner. This involves both verbal and non-verbal communication. Couples must have a level of trust and comfort with each other to be able to share their vulnerabilities. If one or both is over reactive, it will most likely shut down this level of intimacy. Several years ago, I was working with a couple that really wanted more emotional intimacy but their relationship was filled with reactive patterns of drama and upset. He would often roll his eyes while she shared her feelings and she would criticize him for not meeting her needs. Step-bystep, we examined their cycles of destructive verbal and non-verbal habits and replaced them with healthy behaviors of active listening, compassionate rapport, and empathetic type body language. Their hard work paid off as their relationship is now flourishing. Sexual Intimacy Any form of sensual expression toward or for one another. This involves physical and non-physical communication.

Most people think of intimacy as being only sexual, but as you can see, it’s not only about sex. Examples of non-physical sexual intimacy include talking about sex and sexual fantasies. Examples of physical sexual intimacy include hugging, kissing, massage, sensual touch, oral sex, and intercourse. When couples end up in my office due to marital problems, it’s not unusual to hear that sex is an issue. Men and women often experience sexual intimacy very differently. That’s because men typically use a physical connection to express their feelings of closeness while women typically use an emotional connection to express their feelings of closeness. Once couples understand this innate difference and can make slight adjustments to meet each other’s needs, their sexual intimacy problems tend to disappear. Homework for this month: For the next 30 days, tell your partner every day at least 1 thing about them that intellectually, energetically, emotionally or

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Want free relationship advice right away? Take advantage of Tamara’s free 45-minute guidance session where you will finally get clarity and relief from your dating or relationship struggles. Whether you are single or are experiencing relationship upset, by clicking here, you no longer have to figure this out alone anymore. Yay! Elle Magazine dubs Tamara Green, LCSW “The Soulcentered Love Expert.” She is an author, speaker and trainer, helping thousands of people to navigate the waters of love, dating and relationships – all while falling madly in love with themselves in the process. Trained as a Love Mentor® by Dr. Diana Kirschner, Individual and Couples Psychotherapist, Meditation Practitioner and Hypnotherapist, Tamara’s coaching is highly effective as she combines her many years of professional training with her gifts as an energy healer, intuitive and seer. As a result, Tamara creates an exciting catalyst for deep emotional healing, giving her clients greater success in life and love. She has devoted her life to helping women rise out of pain and fear so they can finally experience the long lasting and loving relationship of their dreams. As well as working 1-on-1, Tamara offers free weekly meditation audios that take you on a journey of love with ease and joy. Join Tamara’s community at tamaragreen.me; Facebook facebook.com TGreenLoveExpert; youtube: youtube.com/channel/ UC9MqTnZEJYNEpKnwrjsZ40A

Believe that you can do anything

NOISE NATURE

VS.

by Sharon Carne

ancouver is a beautiful and bustling city. The natural beauty there is astonishing, offering you so many ways to replenish body, mind, and spirit. However, a big and bustling city is noisy. A couple of years ago, I was staying downtown with family, almost beside one of the busiest streets in Vancouver. With windows open all day and night, I was woken up at night several times from excessively noisy mufflers, ambulances, trucks and, at times, loud

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conversation from the 24 hour coffee shop across the street. Noise stimulates the release of stress hormones. And I could feel this happening in myself. There wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t much I could do about the noise, but there are all kinds of things I can do to decrease the effect of stress hormones running rampant. One of my favorites is nature sounds. The healthiest sounds for the human being are water, birdsong, and wind.

The human family evolved with the sounds of water â&#x20AC;&#x201C; showing us where to find this essential sustenance. We evolved with the songs of the birds letting us know when it was safe in the forest â&#x20AC;&#x201C; or a signal of possible danger when the birds suddenly stopped singing. We evolved with the phenomenal range of sounds of the wind that gave us gentle, cool relief on a hot day or sent us to shelter with a deafening roar or helped us with our sense of direction.

So, what happens is, stress hormones are released by our nervous systems. Is that healthy? No, especially over the long term. The European Union has begun to study the effects of traffic noise on people in member countries. Here are some of the things they found: •

Traffic noise is associated with between 200,000 and 250,000 cases of heart disease every year. Of those, 50,000 people die.

•

16 million people can’t sleep.

•

Noise is impacting the health of 125 Million people within the European Union - That’s four times the population of Canada!

As you can see, traffic noise alone is creating significant health problems for those who live in cities.

From tens of thousands of years of having these sounds in our environment, our bodies and nervous systems respond with health. But over the past couple of hundred years, that environment has changed dramatically. Especially for those of us who live and work in cities. Here, there is a soundscape that we did not evolve with. Our nervous systems have no reference point for how to deal with these sounds.

The effect on our children is even more pronounced. Here is a quote from an article called “Noise Pollution” from www. pollutionissues.com. “Noises can be especially harmful to children. Scientific research indicates that noisy homes slow down cognitive and language development in young children. In addition, children living and attending schools near noisy highways, railroads, and airports have lower reading scores, and some children living or attending a school near a major airport have experienced elevated blood pressure.”

There is also another issue appearing in our noisy, modern world.

TOXIC SOUND: ARE YOU UNKNOWINGLY DAMAGING YOUR HEARING? Sound is a strong physical force. Sound goes through your entire being faster than it goes through the air. It pushes against your atoms and molecules and sends them into a state of vibration. Not only can the physical effects of sound be measured on a human being, so can the psychological, emotional and mental effects.

NOT ALL SOUND IS GOOD FOR YOU. Most people know that very loud sounds, especially when they are sustained, can damage your hearing. We don’t always pay attention to this because we can’t feel or tell when our hearing has been damaged. And because we can’t feel it, we don’t always believe that damage is possible. Or, that it is actually happening. Sound is a form of energy. The energy in the sound wave, the intensity of the sound, or loudness, is measured in decibels, often abbreviated as dB. The relationship between some common sounds and the intensity measured in dB is described in the following Decibel Scale Chart. eydisauthenticliving.com 93

THE DECIBEL (DB) SCALE 0 dB threshold of hearing 10 dB pin drops 20 dB whisper at 1 meter 40 dB quiet conversation 60 dB normal conversation 90 dB subway train DANGER ZONE 110 dB rock concert 130 dB jet engine By definition, zero dB is the threshold of human hearing. The intensity of the sound is doubled with each 3 dB increase. I was surprised when I found this out. Knowing how the scale works puts the volume of these sounds into proper perspective. For example, normal conversation is usually measured at 60 dB, 63 dB represents a conversation that is twice as loud, 66 dB is twice as loud again, and so on. A subway train is typically 94 | Eydis Magazine

measured at 90 dB while a jet engine can approach 130 dB. Most people feel pain with sound levels between 110 and 130 dB. For those people who love going to rock concerts or playing their stereos loud, it is essential to use hearing protection. Decibel levels at some rock concerts have been measured from 120 decibels to as high as 150 decibels, twice as loud as a jet plane taking off. Listening to music with earbuds and at too high a volume is becoming a significant cause of hearing loss, especially in our young people. Part of auditory wellness, which includes the health of your hearing, is to know what can be damaging to your hearing and what your limits are. Damage is insidious because we canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t always feel or tell when our hearing is being harmed.

Damage to your hearing does not heal. It is considered permanent. I encourage you to become aware of the sounds around you and how they may be affecting you. And remember to keep nature sounds handy, especially if you live in the city. Take the earbuds out if you are out in nature and let the beautiful sounds around you stimulate healing and health. Sharon Carne is an author, speaker, musician, recording artist, sound healer, Reiki master and consultant. Sharon is the founder of Sound Wellness and the Sound Wellness Institute. Through the Sound Wellness Institute, holistic health practitioners receive the highest level of competency training in using sound and music to support their practice. Sound Wellness programs are at the forefront of education in how sound and music can be easily applied to your everyday life - to reduce stress, help you concentrate, energize you, inspire you and support your health. www.soundwellness.com

Lynn Darmon PSYCHIC MEDIUM REIKI PRACTITIONER Lynn is a Psychic Medium born with clairvoyant, clairaudient and precognitive abilities. She first became aware of this gift at age five. As she grew older her abilities developed, receiving messages from the Other Side, first from family members who’d passed and then messages from loved ones of people around her. Lynn describes this gift of guidance from Spirit as “Second Sight.” During a reading, Lynn will take you on a journey from your past where she will peek into your childhood, to the present and offer you channeled guidance from Spirit as you continue on your Spiritual Path into your future. Serving as a conduit between the Spirit World and this world, Lynn conveys messages from those who have passed with the intention of providing validation, healing and further guidance to their loved ones here. Most recently featured on

Lynn has been featured on ABC’s 20/20, The Huffington Post, AOL, Yahoo News, The Oakland Press, The Detroit Jewish News, Eydis Magazine, MY Magazine, Body, Mind, Spirit Radio, the Lisa Bousson Show, and has been featured in the recently published book, “Everyday Oracles,” by Ann Bolinger-McQuade.

31224 Mulfordton • Ste. D • Farmington Hills • 248.860.1121 www.heavenswhisper.net • lynn@heavenswhisper.net Facebook: Medium Lynn Darmon SERVICES PROVIDED: In person • By phone • E-mail • Skype

• In home

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Write For Eydis Authentic Living Magazine

“The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe.” 96 | Eydis Magazine

–Gustave Haubert

info@eydisauthenticliving.com eydisauthenticliving.com 97

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by Elaine M. Grohman

WHEN MYTHS BECOME MALIGNANT

our individuals stood together, three of them men, one of them a Woman. In the unconscious mind of one of the men, a story resided a myth that had become a malignant thought fed by a very old cultural deception, that of the superiority of males over females. This widely held belief of superiority of one over another, always predicated on false information, always leads to dire consequences. The myth in his mind had become a malignant way of thinking. For this particular man, his myths had become his personal story, littering his life in ways he was not willing to see but were blatantly obvious to those â&#x20AC;&#x153;with eyes to see and ears to hear.â&#x20AC;? This particular myth involved his degraded thinking of women, and his actions and language were about to betray his ignorance. His words were spoken out loud with a bravado that he hoped would bring him some momentary sense of glory, status or rank. Nothing could be further from the truth. The unconscious mind knows little of the benevolent capacity of a Balanced Mind and is often grossly negligent in both accountability and self-examination in a culturally created little mind. eydisauthenticliving.com 99

This man failed to recognize the fatal flaw in both his timing and language. He failed to recognize that he was in the presence of a Woman of Integrity as he salaciously began to brag about where he would like to be at the moment. With the sudden strike of a Lioness, this Woman of Substance put him in his place and the bravado of a braggart became the truth revealed, his words, comprehended by Her Sharp Mind, instinctively responded with true authority, rendering his misguided language impotent so that his words would fall to the ground unable to contaminate the environment one moment longer. Her direct, clear and powerful presence shattered the smoke and mirrors created by an illusory persona. Her presence, unwilling to ignore the ignorant, said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;No more!â&#x20AC;? 100 | Eydis Magazine

It is time for us to examine all that we think, all that we say and all that we do. It is time for us to learn that we teach others who we really are through our words and actions. And that if we are really here to live well, we must teach one another about the importance of the Natural World and our equal place in it, and to illustrate that goodness, equality and integrity should be of paramount importance to us all. The survival of our world is dependent upon it. It is time for us to examine what we are willing to permit in our presence. And since the only time we truly have is the Present moment, then we ought to be scrupulously willing to guard our time and our lives, so that true kindness, loyalty, integrity, and joy can

become commonplace, rather than mindlessly normalizing pettiness and ignorance. Today we stand in the midst of illusions, and it is important that we learn to discern the difference. Guard your precious time so that misguided myths can no longer have malignant consequences.

Elaine Grohman is a speaker, author, energy healer and angel reader. She has a private practice in Farmington, MI. For appointments please contact Lainie Rubio at 248.320.6532 or visit her website at www.elainegrohman.com

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ASK THE LIFE COACH

THE MAGIC OF STRATEGIC THINKING by John Schalter

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” — Albert Einstein

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Dear John,

What is strategic thinking and how can it help me live a more fulfilling life?

Alecia S.

Dear Beth

Thank you for the question! Strategic thinking is all about working smarter rather than harder. Let me explain. Have you ever seen a fly caught in the top end of a window, buzzing and banging its body on the glass? It can clearly see its goal of the blue sky and bright sunshine through the window. However, unless it changes its strategy, it is never going to get there. The plan is just not working. Still, the fly persists with grim resolve. In most cases, the fly will die of exhaustion, banging its body against the glass. What a senseless tragedy! It is too busy working hard when it needs to work smart. It refuses to consider a change in strategy. In traditional ways, the fly is a hero. It did not back down from the challenge. I guess we could say, it died in combat. Another “freedom fighter” fly bites the dust. What a shame! However, the real tragedy is that the insect never questioned its strategy. It lived (and died) embracing Einstein’s definition of “Insanity.” It did the “same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”

“I believe that people make their own luck by great preparation and good strategy.”

My point in all of this is as follows. Choosing a new and better strategy is choosing to work “smarter not harder.” You pick battles very carefully in order to give yourself the best chance to win. Understanding the importance of strategy means living life with elegance and wisdom. We become aware of a certain flow to life and we follow it. We understand, “to thine own self be true” and use good judgment as kind of a life compass in facing life’s obstacles. Strategic thinking. is what rock climber use to advance to the highest cliffs. It seeks the safest and most practical way to quickly achieve their goal and make it to the top. We learn to swim by getting in alignment with the energy of water not by fighting it. We learned to ride a bike by understanding and working with the forces of gravity and balance. Virtually all strategy in sports or military operations uses this approach in organizing their efforts and taking advantage of any weaknesses of the opposition. Strategic is also one of the most important steps to a Miraculous Life. It is not the traditional way. It is the way of “Einstein,” and “thinking beyond traditional thinking.” Like all tools…try it in your own life and let me know how it works for you. And as we all step into the ever present challenges in our lives, let us remember, “We are all too blessed to be stressed.” See you in the next publication. Until then… Peace and Blessings, John

Jack Canfield

Strategy is a platform for Quantum Leaps in human development and achievement. It is the constant desire to “build a better mousetrap.” For all intents and purposes, “finding a better strategy” is why you picked up this magazine. As humans, we are constantly looking for a more effective way of doing things or getting what we want.

Wealth Consciousness

Manifest your destiny

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THE 7 ESSENTIALS ON THE PROSPERITY PLAYLIST by Ellen Rogin, CPA, CFP®

oney lessons from the rich (or usedto-be rich) and famous are all around. When it comes to dealing with your money and creating prosperity there are 7 essentials that should be on everyone’s prosperity playlist.

Money isn’t the most important part of being prosperous. Prosperity is defined as “a successful, flourishing, or thriving condition, especially in financial respects; good fortune.” Yes, money is certainly part of the equation, but so are contentment, generosity, and happiness. When you expand your definition of being financially successful to include

true wealth you will not only feel happier over time but also realize you are more on track for your goals than you realize. Johnny Depp is (was) wealthy but managed to accumulate 14 homes, 45 cars, spend $30,000 per month on wine and spend about $450,000 per month for security for himself and his family (of course with all that stuff, right?). He’s blaming his manager for his financial woes and for owning the government lots of money in back taxes and penalties. Now, I certainly don’t know the details of his business situation, but somehow all that spending doesn’t seem like it would truly bring the feelings of success, flourishing or thriving. eydisauthenticliving.com 107

Beyoncé, on the other hand, was voted the most charitable celeb by Dosomething.org on their Celebs Gone Good list. Besides the fact that Beyoncé is so darn cool, doesn’t this make you like her even more? I don’t personally know either of them, but I sure would rather share a Starbucks with Beyoncé than a fancy bottle of wine with Johnny.

Your mind is your greatest money making tool. What you think and what you say about your money has a direct impact on what shows up in your life. Before Jim Carrey was, well, famous Jim Carrey, in 1990 he wrote himself a check for $10 million and in the memo wrote “for acting services rendered” and dated it Thanksgiving 1995 before he stuck it in his wallet. When 1995 rolled around he had seen success in Ace Ventura, Liar Liar, and The Mask. By that time he’d been earning $20 million per movie.

Now, it’s not just about picturing your success; you, of course, need to take the right actions. But, visualizing the future you want helps to grease the skids for your goals to show up with more ease and more quickly.

Get comfortable with numbers. Yes, success is more than just the money, but getting up to date on what you own and owe and what you are spending will help you create a plan to reach your goals. Early in his career, Will Smith learned how to spend freely. But then, oops, in 1988 and 1989 he reportedly underpaid his income taxes by $2.8 million and almost went bankrupt in 1990. Learning from his mistakes he’s now one of the wealthiest celebs. He’s famously quoted as saying: “Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things

they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” Get clear on know where you are financially and what it takes to get where you want to go.

Be a great saver. The trait that I’ve seen over and over from the most financially successful people I know, the ones that have the most financial flexibility in their lives, is that they are great savers. They consistently spend less than they earn. Jay Leno is a great example of this. Did you know he never spent any of the money he earned from the Tonight Show? He used his stand-up comedy income to cover his lifestyle. His entire career he had two jobs and banked one of the salaries (the bigger one). When he sold cars and worked comedy clubs he’d live on his comedy income and banked the other. When comedy started to take off he then banked that income and lived off his car sales. At one point he was making $30 million a year at the Tonight Show but made sure he still did 150 comedy shows a year and that was the income he lived on. In an interview with CNBC he’s quoted as saying, “So many people get to be the age I’m at now and they’ve got nothing because they just blew it all. I put my money in a hammock and say, ‘You relax. I’m going to go work.’ And when I come back, I put some more money in the pile. It sounds ridiculous, but if everything ends tomorrow, I know I’ll be fine.”

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Be a smart investor. Investing your money wisely and investing in your own growth are keys to growing your prosperity. The NFL is helping its players to not end up broke by offering a personal finance camp where they can learn about investing, savings, how to find an advisor and how to set up a plan for their futures. If you’re not as smart as you’d like to be when it comes to your money management get a book, a coach, or an advisor willing to educate you. Yes, the financial services industry likes to throw around jargon, but it doesn’t have to be difficult. If you want to be prosperous your entire life then learning should always be on your list. Thriving isn’t there when you are stagnant. What do you want to learn about this year?

Create healthy financial habits. Saving is easier when you put it on autopilot. If you’ve saved in your company retirement plan (such as a 401k plan) you know this works. A bit of money comes off the top on a regular basis and accumulates for you. You can set up these types of automatic savings to plan for your kids’ education, to save for a big purchase such as a car or a new home by having money come out of your checking account each month. You can even do this with your charitable contributions by having money set aside each month to be donated. (More on this in #7.) Need a goal? It might be lofty but 10% going into

savings and 10% going to giving is something to shoot for. Think you can’t do this? Maybe you can learn from NFL player Ryan Broyles who signed a $3.6 million contract (with $1.422 million guaranteed) to play for the Detroit Lions. He and his wife live on approximately $60,000 per year and save the rest. Broyles no longer plays for the Lions – bet he sleeps better at night knowing he’s socked money way.

Be a great giver. Generosity is a precursor to prosperity. Most people think charity and volunteer work happen after you’ve amassed great wealth – it doesn’t have to go in that order. Actually, paradoxically, by loosening your grip and letting go of your resources of time and money, often more flows your way. Research has shown that generosity increases happiness, overall feelings of

well-being, and maybe even your bank accounts. After George Lucas sold his Star Wars franchise to Disney for $4 billion he went on to donate most of the proceeds to better education. Don’t have an extra $4 billion lying around? Consider making a micro-loan through an organization such as Kiva.org. As little as $25 loaned to a woman in a developing country can help her to start a business and lift her and her family out of poverty.

www.ellenrogin.com

Ellen Rogin, CPA and CFP®, is an Abundance Activist® and coauthor of the New York Times best seller: Picture Your Prosperity: Smart Money Moves to Turn Your Vision into Reality. Learn more about Ellen and her programs at.

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ARE YOU ON

Autopilot AT WORK? by Carol Benson

o you remember the John Lennon and Paul McCarthy song, “A Day in a Life?” The beginning lyrics of “Woke up. Got out of bed. Dragged a comb across my head…” may sound a bit like how you feel each day. If your day-to-day

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routine seems to melt into the next, maybe you’re missing some element that nourishes you. Is it just another day? Same old junk you have to deal with. Same old challenges and personalities

What a way to live, right? There’s got to be a better way and better choices to make on how you can sail through your work day. Is this really what work’s all about? Is there a part of you that’s crying out to enjoy what you do? To find some meaning in it that nourishes you? Going to work day in and day out in the “same old, same way” is guaranteed to put a damper on feeling inspired to grow at what you do. It’s a dead-end going nowhere but adding cash to your bank account and experience on your resume. A powerful question to ask, “Is your work life positively contributing to your overall life and personal development?” It’s pretty easy to become stuck in a rut of mediocrity. After all, it’s predictable and secure right now. Why rock the boat, right? Oh sure, you could go to your manager or another team member and make a request about the overall culture or team meetings or even your work responsibilities. If that makes you anxious or you’ve tried that route before without a satisfying result, then maybe you’re really out of alignment in this position. That’s one way to look at it. You can begin right now actively looking for a new position and when that “dream job” shows up, give notice. That’s a great plan.

you have to face daily? And through it all, you’re wondering how you will get through the week? Again?!!! And then the next one after that! Do you start your week looking forward to Friday?

However, that’s not the only choice. Since most likely your same job will show up again; although albeit in a crafty and clever disguise you might not “get” right away. It’s kind of like when you were dating or if you’re in the dating game right now, attracting the same person over and over again even though they come in a different presenting package of attraction! Ugh! And then one day, if you’re lucky or if you’re really conscious about what’s a good fit, you make different choices for yourself. You may also believe that this is what your professional life serves up for you. Yes, the tradeoff to get what you want but it’s not showing up eydisauthenticliving.com 111

You’re the one in charge of that. That’s something you can do with some upgrades in your internal operating system. Please keep in mind that your beliefs or mindsets drive your behaviors and habits. So if you have a tendency to work long past everyone else has left for the day, complaining about others or taking work home with you in the evenings or on weekends, what’s driving that behavior? In other words, what’s the purpose that you have designed for yourself? Take a moment to answer these three questions: 1. What’s the purpose in not giving yourself time off? 2. Why do you need to give more of your time and energy than others? 3. What thought or thoughts pull on your attention? Some example answers you may have for the above questions may have something in common with these: “If I don’t pay my dues, I’ll get passed over for promotion.”

in a satisfying way for you. And there may be days when you wonder if anyone else feels the way you do. Or if you’re just experiencing things differently than others. Well, let’s first clear up something right here and now. You’re not alone! Guaranteed. If you’re feeling this way, then others are too! Getting different results is the tricky part; especially if you’re feeling alone in this attitude of yours. But then again, everyone is alone, right? There’s another option to make right now that’s a very powerful choice to investigate. Consider it as a starting point for you to see if some of your beliefs about the work, company, and others, limit you in any way from soaring where you’re at. You may be caught in a confusing web that creates a single lens viewpoint for yourself. 112 | Eydis Magazine

“Others don’t deliver the same quality of productivity that I do.” “I have to constantly prove myself.” “I’m not sure I belong here and I get distracted by others in my department so it’s easier when no one else is around.” What’s under all of this for you? Constantly comparing yourself to others, making others wrong or feeling that you’re not good enough unless you outshine others, puts you automatically into an energy-draining autopilot mode at work. Let’s dive into this a bit deeper. After doing some breakthrough sessions with “Brianna” she realized that her beliefs were constantly stressing her out. She made work hard for herself and not only was she on autopilot, she was physically, mentally and emotionally drained by the end of each day. She had no energy left for relationships or self-care.

What her thoughts focused on were actually contributing to making things unappealing. Her lack of inspiration and alignment with her work had rapidly declined after two years of working for a company that on the outside had the reputation of being really innovative. The truth was that the culture was competitive and well, pretty toxic between team members. “Briana” was urged to dive deep into her own beliefs about sleepwalking through work for the past six months after finding that no matter how she tried to shift her team’s dynamics, she failed. As an innovative company, there was no designated executive at the helm of her team. That was a pretty exciting caveat when she came onboard but after time wore on, there was no shared leadership to elevate not only the team culture but the quality of the work. The attitude seemed to be “let’s do just enough to fly under the radar.” She found herself doing the same attitude and she now dreaded going to work each day. She felt undervalued and not-on-purpose. There was an emotional sadness deep inside that was putting a damper on her typically bright and sunny self from showing up. There are a few antidotes you can try on for size if you’re seeing that a some of your mindsets aren’t really providing a clear path to being nourished at work. The thing is that when you can upgrade how you sail through each work day the rest of your life will follow in a similar vein. Here are some antidotes to try for yourself: 1. Choose to focus on ease throughout your day. If it’s stressful, take a quick walk, do some focused relaxation breaths, drink a glass of water, etc. 2. Begin to notice when your thoughts create a stress response in you and how often that occurs.

positions. There is a rapidly growing and pervasive cultural attitude of “don’t rock the boat.” In fact, in the U.S. a recent Gallop poll found that disengagement at work costs companies five hundred billion dollars annually. Ouch! Being on autopilot isn’t serving you as an individual or the company. And that is solely your decision to change. The choices and decisions you make about your attitudes can set you on a path of being on-purpose and satisfied at work and guaranteed, by the end of the day it will trickle into the rest of your life too. Or you can continue being a victim to the circumstances by walking through your work day on autopilot. It’s your choice. Completely under your control just waiting for a different attitude and mindset boost from you at the helm. If you feel it’s impossible or too hard to do on your own, then find someone with expertise to help you shift your attitudes and beliefs. If you want to feel energized by the end of each work day, then jump on this as a development opportunity for yourself. Why wait? If you want a good life for yourself in all areas, it starts with how you view your work day. That’s one of the beginning steps to thriving! Why choose to be on autopilot when there are so many other possible choices in life waiting for you? Carol and Paul Benson are both accomplished mentors, authors, speakers and trainers. Carol, a licensed Speech Language Pathologist, specializes in emotional and relational intelligence strategies and leadership training for business teams. Paul Benson, a multimillion dollar business owner, is well-versed in cooperative team development, sales, negotiation and helping businesses improve their performance using unique best business practices.

3. Observe where you hold stress in your body. In your neck? Lower abdomen? Back? Jaw?

As authors of the highly-acclaimed book, “5 Steps to Thrive: Reveal Any Crisis as Opportunity,” (2013, Highpoint Life) Carol and Paul know firsthand what it takes to use a wider scope of mindsets as the competitive edge in a fast-past, ever changing global marketplace.

Many people at work are disengaged and doing just enough to get by so they can keep their

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Healthy Living 114 | Eydis Magazine

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CAN SELF-CARE MAKE YOU A BETTER PARENT FOR YOUR CHILDREN? by Dr. Nekeshia Hammond

magine you stop at a coffee shop on your way to work, and you order a cup of coffee. They tell you the horrifying news that the shipment was delayed, the inventory is depleted, and they have no more coffee. What happens? Aside from the outrage and possible crying over your lack of caffeine, you end up with nothing in your cup. Your needs aren’t met because they had nothing to give. Just like the coffee company and its customers suffered from the lack of coffee when you have nothing to give, you suffer, and others do too. 116 | Eydis Magazine

Therein lies the basis of the importance of self-care – It’s about filling up yourself so that you will have the ability to take care of others. In other words, putting on your oxygen mask first, so you’ll have the strength to put one on someone else.

SELF-CARE MAKES YOU A BETTER PARENT A child needs an environment of stability and order. It’s impossible to provide this type of an environment when as a parent, you’re running ragged, unable to keep up with the day-to-day, and in a constant state of stress. If instead, you

ensure your needs are met first, you are then better equipped to give your children what they need too. Think about the days when you felt you got plenty of rest, got in some exercise, and ate three square meals. It might have been the last time you went

on vacation, but odds are you were in a better mood those days. You probably had good memories of that day, and your children and spouse did too. Although you most likely can’t be on vacation every day, you can do a few things to be in a better place mentally, physically, and emotionally.

TIPS FOR SELF-CARE Although it may seem difficult to do, the basics of self-care are not as far-fetched as you may think. Simple things like skipping television to go to bed at a decent hour, eating healthier foods, moving your body regularly, and taking some

time for yourself are great steps in the right direction of taking care of you. Now, if you’re thinking you don’t have time for all of this, it may be a good idea to ask for help. For example, you could get together with other parents and rotate a day-off – one

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should behave. Perhaps it’s a cultural thing, or just a woman’s instinct to over deliver. Impressionable young girls witnessing this and taking on that role then perpetuates the self-sacrifice cycle, which could lead to feelings of low self-worth, resentment towards others, constant guilt for not doing enough, and so on.

YOU CAN’T GIVE FROM AN EMPTY CUP

parent each weekend would watch the children while the other parents have a child-free day to relax or do something for themselves. If this isn’t possible, maybe you could ask your significant other or a family member, or even hire a babysitter, to watch the kids while you take some for you. Some parents find that getting up 15 or 30 minutes early, before the children wake up, is all they need to recharge their own batteries. Others will take a little time before bed to themselves. To give yourself this extra time for you, you may need to create a schedule and daily routine. Then, mark off “you time” in your calendar, and deem it a non-negotiable. Setting the intention that you will take care of yourself, makes it more likely that you will actually follow through with it. 118 | Eydis Magazine

ENCOURAGING YOUR CHILDREN TO CARE FOR THEMSELVES By taking care of yourself first, you are teaching your children the importance of doing it for themselves too. Instilling self-care in our children lets them know they matter as much as everyone else. It’s a great way to show them that self-sacrifice isn’t necessary for them to be loved or cared for. This will not only help them to have a better self-esteem, but can help them have better relationships as well. Self-care is even more important for young girls to see. It seems that young girls are more likely to sacrifice their needs as adults, due to watching their mothers giving and giving without rest. They associate what they have witnessed with an expectation of how they

By taking care of ourselves first, only then will we have the energy and strength to care for others. It’s not being selfish to make sure our needs are met before giving of ourselves. When we are at our best, only then can we objectively, and appropriately handle situations that come up in our lives. Remember, self-care doesn’t have to be extreme, but when you start taking care of you first, it can be life changing. Nekeshia Hammond, Psy.D. is a psychologist, speaker, and author of The Practical Guide to Raising Emotionally Healthy Children. Dr. Hammond has been featured on WFLA News Channel 8, Tampa Bay Times, Essence, Tampa Bay Parenting, CBS Boston, Ebony and other media outlets sharing her expertise on children and parenting. Check out the Hammond Psychology blog at: www. HammondPsychology.com. Twitter: @Dr_Hammond FB: Dr. Nekeshia Hammond Instagram: @practicalparenting

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FACE

Value

by Kate Sholonski

fter reading an article and scanning photos of some famous people that have opted to rearrange or plump up their faces with the intention of looking better via surgery (i.e. more beautiful,

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handsome, younger), I felt sad for them since their attempt to improve their appearances failed. Unfortunately, what they now each likely see in their reflection of the mirror is a person that is desperate to be

admired, accepted and perhaps even loved. At my pre-golden age of sixtyfour... letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s call it the bronze age, I can still see a resemblance of myself at age twenty. Although

and creases to the spirit of my soul that is changeless. From this inner perspective, I am the same “me” as when I was twenty. In fact, I am the same “me” as when I was a child. In many of our workshops, we invite our participants to describe themselves without using references such as age, education, titles or the roles they play in their lives. This is difficult to do for most people since society has a way of defining us that is not accurate and certainly not helpful. Many times that definition includes our age or our outward appearance. Instead of identifying yourself by labels or appearances, imagine the truth of who you are to be resting quietly within your soul. All of the beautiful qualities that make you ‘you’ are ageless and define the essence of your being. For instance, if you are naturally adventuresome, compassionate and playful, these qualities would also have been present at other stages of life. If you were a thoughtful and kind child that was very creative, those qualities would still be present at the end of your life if your alignment with your true self is present.

it does take an extra bit of mindfulness, I know I am the same spirited soul I was when my face was flawless. When I look in the mirror, I can see beyond the wrinkles

Although the shell we call our body changes over the years, our inner or true self-does not have an age, limitations or anything requiring fixing or improving. The difference is, aside from basic maintenance of the outer shell, such as sustaining

muscle mass and flexibility, using sunscreen and a good moisturizer, it is healthier to not bank your happiness on your appearance. There is no need to rehab the structure of our faces or bodies to restore them to the condition of an earlier time since they will not be resold to another inhabitant. Instead, I suggest we all do our best to take care of the structures we call our bodies since we need them to successfully carry us through all of our life adventures. As the years climb in number and reflect the associated changes in our mirrors, we need to remember to not take our faces or bodies as an indication of our value. Kate transitioned from a 28 year nursing career to life coaching and as a personal fulfillment workshop leader in 2001. After many years of coaching people from all walks of life, she and her business partner repeatedly heard requests from their clients to combine joy and fulfillment with leadership principles. It was that concept that led them to create their business, Triumph Leadership Group, where they focus on training teams from all sized businesses to build positive and productive cultures. Kate and her business partner, David Larson have co-authored two books, Wide Awake: Three Minutes a Day to an Inspired Life and Heartfelt Leadership: Creating a Culture of Connection. They believe when relationships don’t work, the business doesn’t work and that workers who share heartfelt connections will help business thrive on every level. eydisauthenticliving.com 121

at last LETS

CELEBRATE THE SEASON by Annabel Cohen

ax day has passed. The snow and ice are finally gone (I think). Pesach is just over. It’s finally time to start acting like it’s really spring. And eating that way, too. What’s appearing in our fruit markets intrinsically compels us to hunt for ways to cook first crops and young meats in different ways. Artichokes are in season right now. Though they look exotic as decoration, it’s a shame to let the season pass without dipping those meaty leaves in something – butter, vinaigrette a special sauce – at least once during spring. Especially since preparation is easier than many think. Fresh peas, the kind you see women removing from bloated pods in all those Americana films of good old days, are glorious. Though perfect steamed and tossed with a bit of butter and fresh mint, we search for ways to diversify. Variety is the spice, as they say. Quintessential to the season is lamb. Young as sweet,

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the meat is tender and aromatic. It’s traditional in many parts of the world to eat lamb for Pesach, though few Americans do, opting for beef instead. So, now’s the time to prepare lamb, hot off the grill, perhaps the first grilling of the season. Chicken, ever popular, makes a spring transition to the grill as well. Here it’s skewered – spiced hot – as a prelude to the summer barbecue. Rhubarb is sending it’s pink to apple-red colored stems and giant leaves into the atmosphere and is filling displays at the market. If the temptation to cut down those young shoots is overwhelming, do it and bake the bitter stems with its classic culinary partner, strawberries, in a delicious not-too-sweet cobbler. Mix and match the recipes below and show deference to this most amazing of all seasons, when birth and growth astonish us and make us remember that all things are possible.

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Simply Spring Peas Makes 4-6 servings.

1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter or olive oil 1 cup plain breadcrumbs

1 cup finely chopped onion 2 cups fresh shelled peas or frozen peas, thawed 2 cups water

2 Tbsp. fresh minced dill

2 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice

Kosher salt and pepper to taste In a large skillet over medium heat, melt the butter. Add the crumbs and cook, stirring constantly, until the crumbs are golden. Keep warm while you make the peas, or microwave the crumbs just before serving. Combine the onions, peas, and water in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat. Bring to a boil and cook until tender, about 5 minutes (a little less for frozen peas). Drain the peas well and toss with dill, lemon juice and salt and pepper to taste. Toss the peas with the warm breadcrumbs. Serve hot or at room temperature.

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Grilled Artichokes with Tomato Vinaigrette Makes 4 servings.

1/2 lemon

1 cup cold water

2 medium to large artichokes (about 1 - 1 1/4 pounds) Olive oil for brushing on artichokes

Dressing:

4 Tbsp. red wine vinegar 1/4 cup olive oil

2 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice 1/4 cup minced onions

Make artichokes: Squeeze juice from halved lemon into a bowl with the cold water. Cut the stem off 1 artichoke, leaving about 1 inch. Bend and snap off the outer bottom 2 rows of leaves. Snip off the tips of the artichoke leaves with scissors. Quarter artichoke lengthwise. Use a small sharp knife to cut away the “hairy” and prickly choke (be careful not to cut away the center or “heart” of the artichoke). Place quartered artichoke in lemon water. Repeat with remaining artichoke. Bring a pot of water to boil. Transfer the artichoke quarters to the pot and boil until just tender, about 12-15 minutes. Drain the artichokes well and cool.

1 tsp. minced garlic

Meanwhile, combine all dressing ingredients in a bowl whisk well. Set aside.

2 Tbsp. fresh minced parsley

Heat grill to medium. Brush the artichoke quarters with a small amount of oil and grill until just charred on all sides. Serve the artichokes immediately, drizzled with the vinaigrette. Or serve at room temperature.

1 cup minced tomato

1 Tbsp. drained capers

Kosher salt and pepper to taste

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Lamb Chops with Mango-Mint Sauce Makes 6 or more servings.

Sauce:

2 cups chopped fresh mango (about 2 large mangos) 1 Tbsp. vegetable oil

1 Tbsp. minced garlic

1 Tbsp. minced gingerroot

2 Tbsp. red pepper sauce, such as Tabasco 1 cup chicken broth

1 Tbsp. brown sugar 2 Tbsp. soy sauce

Salt and pepper to taste

1/2 cup fresh chopped fresh mint leaves

Lamb:

3 racks of lamb (about 1-1/2 to 2-pounds) fat trimmed, cut into individual chops Olive oil

Kosher salt and pepper to taste Puree mango in a blender or bowl of a food processor. Set aside. Heat oil in medium skillet over medium heat. Add garlic and gingerroot and for 1 minute. Add pepper sauce, broth, brown sugar and soy sauce. Bring to boil, stirring occasionally. Reduce heat to low and simmer 5 minutes. Whisk in the mango puree and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer until sauce thickens and 10 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Keep warm or cover and chill up to 2 days. Just before servings, heat grill to mediumhigh heat. Season the chops with kosher salt and pepper. Grill or broil until just cooked through, about 3-5 minutes per side. Transfer to plates. Heat the sauce and stir in the mint just before serving. Serve the chops with warm sauce drizzled around the chops. 126 | Eydis Magazine

Spice Rubbed Chicken Kebabs Makes 4-6 servings.

2 Tbsp. chili powder

Soak 8 10-inch bamboo skewers in warm water for 8 hours up to overnight. Or, use metal skewers.

3 Tbsp. water

Whisk together tomato paste, chili powder, water, vinegar, garlic and rosemary in a large bowl. Set aside.

2 tsp. minced garlic

Cut the chicken into 1-inch chunks and transfer them to the tomato paste mixture.

1 tsp. kosher salt

Turn to coat the chicken. Cover with plastic wrap and chill for 1-4 hours.

2 pounds boneless and skinless chicken breasts 3 Tbsp. tomato paste

Heat grill to medium-high. Thread the chicken onto the skewers alternating with pieces of onion and bell pepper. Brush the kebabs with olive oil. Grill until cooked through, about 12 minutes, turning occasionally.

2 Tbsp. tomato paste 1 Tbsp. seasoned rice vinegar 2 Tbsp. fresh or 1 tsp. dried rosemary 1/2 tsp. ground black pepper

1 large onion, cut into 1-inch wedges

1-2 red bell peppers, cut into 1-inch pieces Olive oil

Wedges of fresh orange, garnish

Serve the kebabs hot or at room temperature with orange wedges to squeeze over just before serving.

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Strawberry and Rhubarb Cobbler Makes 8-12 servings.

Topping:

1 1/4 cup all-purpose flour 1/3 cup sugar

Filling

1 tablespoon baking powder

1/4 cup flour

1/8 tsp. salt

1/2 tsp. ground cloves

1 large egg, lightly beaten

1 cup sugar

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon

1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter or margarine, cut into pieces

1 1/2 pounds strawberries, hulled, halved

1/2 cup orange juice

3 cups 1/2-inch-thick slices fresh or frozen rhubarb Preheat oven to 350Â°F. Spray a 7x9-inch glass or ceramic baking dish with nonstick cooking spray. Combine all filling ingredients and transfer to the prepared baking dish. Set aside. Make topping: Combine the dry ingredients and butter in the bowl of a food processor and pulse for 10 seconds. Add the egg and juice and pulse until just combined. Use a spoon to drop small amounts of topping over the entire filling, being careful to nearly cover the fruit (the topping should not be very thick over the fruit, keep as even as possible). Bake until topping is golden and firm to the touch about 45 minutes. Let sit for 30 minutes. Serve warm or at room temperature with vanilla ice cream or fresh whipped cream, if desired.

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Salsa Verde

Makes 11/2 cups of salsa.

Serve this over grilled or poached vegetables, fish, chicken, beef or lamb. It’s also good served as a dressing over salad or with a vegetable omelet or mashed potatoes. 3 Tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil 1/2 cup chopped parsley

1/4 cup chopped cilantro 1 tsp. minced garlic

2 Tbsp. chopped fresh oregano or 1/2 tsp. dried 1 Tbsp. capers

1 tsp. Dijon mustard

1/4 cup fresh lemon juice 1/2 tsp. fresh ground pepper

Kosher salt to taste Combine all ingredients in a medium bowl and stir well.

Annabel is a foodie. She’s a writer. A cooking instructor. An explorer. She’s a aesthete. She knows how to cook. Until fairly recently, Annabel only cooked for people she knows. Her catering, articles, blogs and ANNABEL COHEN COOKS DETROIT Facebook page have earned not just kudos, but awards as well. She was chosen as a Crain’s Detroit Business Magazine “Most Passionate Cooks” and has been profiled in: The Paper, HOUR Detroit, The Detroit News, The Detroit Free Press, The Big Idea, Oakland Press, Royal Oak Tribune, The Detroit Jewish News, Style Magazine, “LIVE in the D,” among others. She won “Best Caterer” in 2015 in The Detroit

Jewish News, and in 2014 in HOUR Detroit magazine. She was voted “Best Brazilian Food” by Detroit Monthly magazine. Among countless television and radio appearances, Annabel was the deciding judge on the Travel Channel’s “Food Wars” for a Detroit episode pitting rivals Lafayette Coney Island against American Coney Island. Annabel is an author. She co-authored “Eating for Acid Reflux” in 2003 and in 2013 created all the recipes for 2014’s “Fast Diets for Dummies.” As a stylist, Annabel has assisted in countless photo shoots and tested and styled recipes for ads, articles and even a few books she didn’t write. She’s also a cooking instructor and writer/columnist with articles that focus on her favorite things — food, travel and lifestyle.

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HEARTBURN? STUFFED? BLOATED? GASSY? by Liz Bull

o you ever say any of these things after eating a meal? • “I feel STUFFED.” • “I feel BLOATED.” • “I feel GASSY.” (This one often comes with sound effects.) • “I have HEARTBURN.” If you do, you are not alone. At least 72 million Americans aren’t able to properly digest their food. In fact, many Americans now view chronic digestive problems -- like heartburn and gas -- as normal. And the “heartburn/gassy/bloated” pill industry is HUGE! The reality is that these conditions aren’t normal at all! They are signs of digestive problems.

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Digestive problems are a major contributor to weight gain. If your body is not getting the nutrients, it sets up the starvation response so that you will eat more. So, what would your life be like if you could eat a meal and NOT be gassy or bloated afterward? If you could avoid the dreaded heartburn? Well, you can! You could actually start experiencing this “normal after eating” feeling very quickly. Two things are required: 1. Check your body’s compatibility via muscle testing (kinesiology) before you eat a particular food. Read Eat Right 4 Your Type by Dr. Peter D’Adamo. (available on Amazon.com) 2. Have some “little friends” available to help aid with the digestion of the food you eat.

When you have enough “little friends” in your body, food is digested faster and more completely. This eliminates that gassy and bloated feeling that you might think is “normal” (even though it’s not). Who are these “little friends?” Enzymes. How do you get them? Read on... First, the bad news. In America, most of the food we eat comes in a package of some sort. Think about the food you eat frequently. Chances are, more than half the food you eat comes from a box, can, jar,

bag, carton, pouch, package, or bottle. I call it “dead food”. Here’s why. Most food that is pre-packaged has been heated to kill off potentially dangerous bacteria and pathogens. After all, nobody wants to get sick from salmonella or E. coli. The fact is that food that has been heated for almost any length of time is completely DEVOID of enzymes... your “little friends.” Why is this? Enzymes are very sensitive to heat. Even at relatively low temperatures of 118 degrees (F), enzymes in food

begin to die in huge numbers. Enzymes are essential for the digestion of food in your body. So when the naturally occurring enzymes in food are killed off through cooking and heat, your body is then forced to work overtime to create enzymes to digest the food you have eaten.

body (especially your pancreas) manufactures enzymes to perform a variety of functions in your body. Enzymes play a critical role in the repair of damaged tissue, the digestion of food, and much more. They are needed for every chemical reaction that occurs in your body.

The good news is that raw food, “live food” that hasn’t been cooked is loaded with enzymes. When you eat raw food, the naturally occurring enzymes actually help to digest your food for you.

Here’s how it works. When you eat, amylase (an enzyme contained in saliva) starts to work on carbohydrates. It is important to chew 20-30 times. Next, the food stops in your stomach for 30-60 minutes. This is where pepsin (another enzyme) and stomach acid

So what’s the big deal? Your

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(HCL) go to work. Stomach muscles also help the process. Some people have trouble producing enough stomach acid and benefit from taking HCL capsules. If you eat raw, “live” food, these enzymes help digest the food before it is passed on to the small intestine. The nutrients actually get absorbed in the small intestine, not the stomach. If you eat “dead food,” this pre-digestion does not occur and partially digested food gets passed to the small intestine. This is where the trouble starts. Partially digested food can make you feel gassy and bloated as it travels into your intestines. And, in some cases, particles of partially digested food can make their way into your bloodstream, triggering an autoimmune response. This can put a strain on your immune system. By getting sufficient plant-based 132 | Eydis Magazine

digestive enzymes in your diet you free up your pancreas to do the important work of “cleaning up” your body to keep you healthy, vibrant, and pain-free. Still, even health conscious people who do their best to eat raw foods often eat a lot of “dead” foods. I get it. It’s hard to avoid cooked foods...especially things like hamburgers, fish, grilled chicken, and steaks. Canned fruits and vegetables, while convenient, are devoid of enzymes. In addition, most of the nuts sold in stores are not raw; they have been roasted. Although I love a good steak tartare, raw oysters and sashimi, eating raw meat must be done with caution. That ginger that comes with sushi/sashimi is antibacterial. Ditto the horseradish. Wasabi is antimicrobial as well. What to do??? I make side dishes with raw veggies. They need not be complex. (You

know that I like “EASY” so my food processor makes this a snap. ) While I would certainly encourage anyone to eat as much raw “live” food as possible, it can be a challenge for some. Fortunately, there are excellent plant-based digestive enzymes on the market. Before you restock your medicine chest with Pepto-Bismol, Rolaids, or other remedies, check out Digestive Enzymes, HCL and Eat Right 4 Your Type. Kiss that heartburn and those bloaty, gassy, stuffed feelings good-by! Liz Bull helps women (and brave men!) who are fed up with weight loss programs that don’t work to finally get a body and a life they love. She is dedicated to busting up the myths, misconceptions and misinformation about obesity. With her innovative signature program she works with her clients to release their limiting beliefs, doubts, and fears, and helps them tap into their natural abilities and their bodies’ wisdom, making weight loss easy and safe. A Medical Intuitive, Master Theta Healer and Certified Virtual Gastric Band Practitioner , Liz has long been fascinated by the important role mind, body, and beliefs play in our lives. Her other studies and certifications include EFT, Psych-K, Matrix Energetics, Access Consciousness, QiGong, NLP and Transcendental Meditation. She has transferred her successful healing/mindset work with businesswomen to the arena of weight loss because she has experienced first-hand the havoc and misery that obesity creates not only for the sufferer but for their families. www.lizbull.com

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