EYDIS
JUNE 2016
FIND WHAT YOU LOVE AND DO MORE OF IT WHAT IS ENOUGH FOR YOU 8 TIPS TO FEEL GOOD INSIDE AND OUT
Appreciating
Suttle Shifts
MARILYN SUTTLE
“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.”
– Jim Valvano
HAPPY FATH
HER’S DAY
EYDIS
“Goddess of the Island” and “Giver of Good Fortune and Gifts” An intuitive and imaginative woman who breathes charm, femininity and sensitivity. She embraces the concept of living her dreams and aspires to leave the world a better place. eydismedia.com
Imagine All the Possibilities
Eydis Radio Eydis Contributor Eydis Sponsorship Eydis Licensee 6 | Eydis Magazine
eydismedia.com 7
Be The Creator Of
Your Own Destiny
Start Your Own Magazine And Inspire Your Community • Create your own financial abundance • Become the leader in your community • Train with a dynamic group of people • Have a positive influence on educating, empowering and inspiring others • Be apart of a growing group of publishers
No Publishing Experience Required 8 | Eydis Magazine
eydismedia.com/be-successful eydismedia.com 9
EYDIS
Publisher • Maria Savoy
Art Director • Jennifer Knutson
Copy Editor • Jennifer Lareau-Gee
Webmaster • Andrew Savoy
Production Manager • Jennifer Berner
Feature Writer • Mary Meldrum
Eydis magazine is a monthly publication and makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising, editorial content and placement: however, we cannot make any claims as to the accuracy of information provided by advertisers or editorial contributors and will accept no responsibility or liability for inaccurate information or placement. No content can be duplicated without the permission of Eydis Media. For inquiries e-mail info@eydismedia.com
from the publisher As I enjoy my cup of coffee, I find myself staring out the window at five squirrels playing ‘hide and seek’ as they scurry from tree to tree. I imagine them laughing as they run, enjoying the morning sun without a care in the world. In this moment, I find myself wanting to be a squirrel running and playing with them, enjoying all that life has to offer. So many of us take life so seriously, wouldn’t it be great if we didn’t have to? Like many of you, I am forever a cup half full and never a cup half empty. Just the other day, I was talking to someone and in the mist of our deep discussion he said, “don’t take offense to this, but you are what I call an ‘airy-fairy.’” I looked at him and thought, hmmm really? My thoughts immediately went to ~ you think I’m an airhead? I’m sure the expression on my face said it all. He then said, “what I mean by that is you are an extremely optimistic person, one who always looks at the positive.” “In my opinion,” he continued, “airy-fairy people are the ones who manifest exactly what they want and know how to get things done. I love working with people like that,” he said. I smiled and thought, yep, then I’m an airy-fairy and surely proud of it! Enjoying and manifesting the life that you want is always possible. Looking at the cup half full just helps to ensure all the possibilities. The words I am about to share with you are what I wish for all of us. It’s a promise I’ve made to myself, and by sharing, I hope you will too.
Make A Promise To Yourself To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet. To make all your friends feel that there is something in them. To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best. To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own. To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile. To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble. To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but great deeds. To live in faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you. —Christian D. Larson So go out into the world knowing, that you are too large, too noble, too strong, and too happy to ever allow anything to stand in your way.
Maria Savoy – Publisher maria@eydismedia.com 12 | Eydis Magazine
Awareness Reach Your Target Market
eydismedia.com/advertise
features
16
52
70
102
APPRECIATING SUTTLE SHIFTS
WHAT IS ENOUGH FOR YOU?
FIND WHAT YOU LOVE AND DO MORE OF IT!
8 TIPS TO FEEL GOOD INSIDE AND OUT
Marilyn Suttle
14 | Eydis Magazine
June 2016
Eydis Living Transforming Fear 26 Celebrating Each Month in Music
30
Talk to Tamara Relationship Expert
34
Life Secrets
36
Self-Growth 7 Things a Parent Can Say to Empower Their Child 42 Shed the Iron Veil Dear Liberty A Sons Struggle with Addiction Who’s Driving Your Bus?
Simply Spiritual
Healthy Living
The Dream Experts Tell Us Your Dream 62
Dear Old Dad
88
Sing A Healthy Song
92
What Color is Your Sky Today? 64 Divine Masculine Appreciation Father’s Day 101
74
48
Top 5 Habits to Getting and Staying Ultrafit
Wealth Consciousness 54 58
Be Prepared To Go the Distance
Aging With Health and Vitality My Husbands Story 98
80
106
Weight Loss Why It’s Never About the Pounds 110
eydismedia.com 15
16 | Eydis Magazine
Suttle Shifts
APPRECIATING
Marilyn Suttle by Mary Meldrum
M
arilyn Suttle is CEO of Suttle Enterprises LLC., a leading authority in customer service excellence, professional and personal relationships, and content marketing. She is a leader for womenfocused online communities and has been sourced as an expert by Ladies Home Journal, Corp Magazine, Inc. Magazine, and U.S. News and World Report. TV news programs have featured her advice on communication and self-improvement. Some of Marilyn’s clients have won industry awards, raised customer satisfaction
levels, and experienced better outcomes personally and professionally. Company leaders have made her presentations available to thousands of employees, improving their quality of life and passion to excel in their professions. Marilyn does keynote presentations and training. She also coaches and consults with professionals at Fortune 500 companies, universities, medical, and mid-sized companies. At times, Marilyn also works directly with entrepreneurs. Her extensive experience with online community management and social media helps brands
engage deeply with their target market.
THE SPARK OF A CAREER
There are a lot of moving parts that went into building the passion and expertise that Marilyn Suttle has accumulated, but she will tell you that she learned about the idea of “customer love being in the details� from both her parents who were small business owners. It was their attention to making the customer experience the focus of their businesses that young Marilyn picked up on. She learned by watching and listening to her parents as professionals. eydismedia.com 17
to communicate with apes. I wrote the paper on it.” This sparked an incredible desire in her; she wanted to bring communication and connection where there wasn’t. She saw human connection as one of the most beautiful things people can do. She witnessed how powerful connecting and communicating are, and how they can lead to successful relationships.
“My dad owned a bar and my mom did taxes,” she shares. “Everything had to shine when they were cleaning the bar. Every detail was important.” Marilyn shares that if you want to know what you are supposed to be doing as an adult, look back to how you played and what you focused on as a child. “I remember as a small child when the very first spark of what I do today evolved from a game that I used to play. My favorite thing to do as a child was to take my chalk board that I got for Christmas and sit all my Barbie dolls down and teach them things,” Marilyn describes. She didn’t know at the time 18 | Eydis Magazine
that she was practicing her life’s work. Again in middle school, Marilyn had an inspired biology teacher who told the class that whoever wrote a term paper would get an A in the class. He realized that kind of research was necessary to make students successful. This was another moment in Marilyn’s personal history that resonated with her regarding what it is that attracted her to her current work. Marilyn recalls, “I had just watched the movie Planet of the Apes and went to my encyclopedia to research communication with apes. I knew nothing about it, but was fascinated to find out that sign language was used
In her work today, Marilyn continues looking for the bridge to communication. Back when she was a young mother with a baby and a toddler, both of Marilyn’s sisters were diagnosed with cancer. She recalls how helpless she felt, wanting to make a difference. The only way she could come up with helping them was to get them audio books to listen to while they were getting chemotherapy. “I would preview the audio books for my sisters. My growth in personal development skyrocketed at that time because I heard all the greats, including Jack Canfield, author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul book. I can remember driving in the car listening to Jack Canfield and thinking, ‘Wow, that is what I am supposed to do; to give that kind of message.’”
At the time, Canfield was talking about seeing yourself differently; looking at your self-concept. There is a difference between the vision of the self you have and the ideal self that you would like to grow into, and how you bridge that gap. “That is my work,” she thought. Marilyn sought out Jack Canfield, among many other leaders of personal development. When she took his Self Esteem Trainer Certification course in 2000, he recognized her talent for speaking and encouraged her to join the National Speaker’s Association. She took his
advice and quickly became a chapter President. Because of her mastery presentation skills and the transformational nature of her work, creating what she calls “Suttle Shifts” for breakthrough success, Jack began inviting her to speak on his stages. In addition to her own work, Marilyn has the highest level certification Jack Canfield offers to teach his success principles. She includes it as a training option through her Metro-Detroit based training company. Before she ever became a mom or became a relationship-strengthening coach, Marilyn had a degree
from the University of Michigan and started out as a contract programmer. She had year-long contracts with organizations like St. Joseph Health Systems, GM Proving Grounds, and the U of M Hospital. She was on a team that would design and implement their software. It was an analytical technical field. She eventually evolved to help people be more focused on soft skills creation, developing more energy, vitality, and selffulfillment. The focus of all of Marilyn’s work now is culture change around the customer experience.
Marilyn Suttle and Jack Canfield after sharing the stage in San Diego, California.
eydismedia.com 19
Marilyn Suttle and coauthor, Lori Jo Vest debuting their book, Taming Gladys, at a SOCAP meeting at the Ford Estate.
THE GLADYS EFFECT
Who’s Your Gladys? was Marilyn Suttle’s first best-selling book. Lori Jo Vest is Marilyn’s coauthor and dear friend. “Lori and I have been in a mastermind group for twelve years, and she coauthored both of my books with me. “ Gladys represented that meddlesome, interfering, annoying customer. If you can see her and treat her as a person, not a problem, Gladys can end up being your biggest cheerleader and advocate. “I use the name Gladys to humanize the customer that makes you want to run from 20 | Eydis Magazine
the room screaming. Everyone has different triggers—things that set them off. Everyone has a different Gladys. Gladys is your vocal, emotional, irritating, and difficult customer,” explains Marilyn. She represents your personal challenge. She is not polite. She has no filter for being nice. And Marilyn teaches that she is a gift. She doesn’t appear that way, but she will bring every little thing to your attention and force you to pay attention to details that you have become blind to seeing.
Fierce Customer Loyalty, is Marilyn and Lori Jo Vest’s second book. This is a sort of boot camp, short resource book of about 100 pages with twelve sections. You can use the concepts of this book individually or with a group. This is a book about creating lasting customer relationships; a practical application book. Suttle and Vest took six companies through this book chapter by chapter.
Taming Gladys: The Busy Leaders Guide to Creating
“This book is not ideas or theory. It really works,” relates
Marilyn. “For instance, how do you say ‘no’ and have the customer still be happy?” There are cheat sheets and worksheets as well as group activities included. Suttle doesn’t have one particular typical client, but corporate clients tend to come back time and again. She does trainings and keynote speaking for corporations and keynotes for associations. She does global leadership workshops. Some workshops target the individual; they focus on personal development for professional success.
CUSTOMER SERVICE FOCUS
wide culture conversation. Clear communication between the corporation and its customers is the responsibility of the corporation working with those customers. They need to wake up to what it truly means and the impact it has on their business. Marilyn explains, “There has never been a more important time to really break down and understand what great customer service is and how to consistently deliver it. By the year 2020, customer experience is expected to overtake price and product as the key brand differentiator— according to the “Customer 2020 Report” from Walker Information, Inc.” Customers
are getting very savvy with using technology and getting their own answers. Review sites are becoming a powerful tool for research for these customers. With the unprecedented reach that technology has provided to the common user, the world has become a very small place. Ma and Pa businesses not only have to compete with larger box stores that can out-maneuver them on many fronts, now they also have to compete with a wider geographic mix of competitors. Businesses in India, China, Mexico, and Europe are all within reach with the touch of a button. Along with this new geographical mix of
Marilyn explained that everybody says, “I want great customer service.” Every company says that they want to give great customer service, but so many companies don’t. It is a blind spot. They just do not see how to make it happen. They don’t realize that customer service is not a department; it is a companyMarilyn keeps her presentations lively and interactive, coaching from the stage to multi-cultural audiences.
eydismedia.com 21
competitors are new challenges. Cultural differences can pose some higher hurdles for the consumer as well as the business owner. Customer service that is outsourced to and from these countries across borders to the U.S. have to undergo some training to understand the nuances of language and meanings. There has to be a bridge to communicate. When training these crossborder customer service agents, cultural differences are highlighted to help make the translation. “To be relevant in your industry or field, you now need to be exceptional at creating a customer experience that makes the customer want to keep coming back.” She continues, “That is my conversation. How do you make that connection? How do you communicate that on the inside of an
22 | Eydis Magazine
organization? Because what happens on the inside is going to show up on the outside.” If you take your eye off of customer focus, people will revert back to wondering what else is out there in terms of your competition. Customer service is not just a one-time thing. Companies must do it on a regular basis. It has to become part of their
daily operations. There are no casual conversations with customers. I asked Marilyn what would be her one best piece of advice to business owners. She shared, “My one piece of advice is that customer love is in the details, so make each point of contact count. Every interaction that a customer has—on your website, on hold on the telephone, live in person, or thru chat— every time your company has an interaction with a customer, your organization is being evaluated. Every time customers decide whether their experience with your organization was positive, negative, or neutral, so make all those points count.
Marilyn with husband Cliff, their first-born Lance with daughter-in-law Rachel, and youngest son Alex - the VIP’s of Marilyn’s heart.
Focusing on those details— taking it up just a little bit— will make a tremendous difference in the experience that customers have.”
SOCIAL MEDIA
When Marilyn’s first book was released, she had to learn how to use social media. “I was blogging, tweeting, Facebooking, and I got contacted by a company who saw my social media and my ability to
create connections and humanize interactions; they said we need a success coach for women. Can you blog and podcast for women who use our product?” This opportunity came to Marilyn out of the blue and wasn’t anything that she solicited or expected. The company produces a feminine hygiene product; not exactly her typical client, but she has been representing them now for several years.
Marilyn uses this to demonstrate that when you go into a career or field that you are truly passionate about, opportunities you never expect just show up for you. These opportunities will be very fulfilling and be of high value to others. It is all about service. Make it really count. She states, “You are only here for a short moment in time. How do you make it a better place? Find meaning, find value, and feel the sense that what you do matters.” eydismedia.com 23
Eydis Living
Transforming
FEAR
by Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC
26 | Eydis Magazine
F
rom listening to politicians and the news media, and even your neighbors and family, it’s easy to conclude that these are scary times. This article will explain fear and anxiety, provide you anxiety/stress reducing tools, and offer a way of looking at the world in which we live from a metaphysical perspective. Fear is defined as “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat” (Oxford Dictionaries). The amygdala, that part of the brain that determines safety, hasn’t evolved to distinguish the difference between a true imminent threat and an area of possible concern. It evaluates every input from one of your senses, including what is seen, heard, touched, smelled, tasted, and emotionally felt. From a safety perspective this makes perfect sense. But the amygdala has not learned to differentiate between a bear on a forest path and a call to the boss’ office. Both result in the same physiologic fight, flight or freeze response. eydismedia.com 27
Additionally, the amygdala and its supportive systems rarely distinguish between a threat that is happening to you and a threat that is happening to someone else while it’s viewed on the news or in a movie, or is told to you by another. The mind/body/ emotions respond as if the threat is happening to you, right now. To make matters more complicated, if you happen to be one of the many highly sensitive individuals (not just those on the autistic spectrum), your amygdala is hyper-vigilant. And if you are a worrier, then every additional worry-thought after the original trigger keeps your amygdala continuously responding. The amygdala’s response is designed to be temporary, not to keep the system on high
28 | Eydis Magazine
alert 24/7. Since the amygdala response actually lasts only 90 seconds, anything longer is due to the amygdala being repeatedly triggered by either the continuation of the real danger or by the mind’s continued focus on the perceived danger (actually a worry-thought). Here are some ways to keep your amygdala response to the more manageable 90 seconds: PHYSICALLY Focusing on your breath provides mindfulness, and also acts as a reboot for your physiologic system. Watch the movement of your chest and abdomen: observe without controlling, or strive for longer, but not deeper, breaths. Observe your body for tension and anxiety. Drop your shoulders away from
your ears to open your lungs for a more complete breath. Practice progressive relaxation techniques. Exercise is a great destress technique, but if it is unavailable change your position to move your body, and also to change the visual scene that has your attention. Participate in sensory experiences, i.e. sip hot tea, take a bath, listen to preferred (and preferably calming) music, or pet an animal. As you do these activities immerse yourself in all the sensations that are involved (temperature, flavor, sounds, textures, etc). Practice “tapping.” Use your fingertips to gently tap your collarbone; or tap the side of your hand on your opposite palm.
These are assumed truths that masquerade as reality. Remember that F.E.A.R. stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Find the stories in your thoughts and dispel them. METAPHYSICALLY To minimize anxiety, align your outward actions with your inner beliefs and values. Make sure that when necessary you speak your truth respectfully, and act in alignment with your truest self.
EMOTIONALLY Change from worrying to doing. Allow yourself only one assessment of something that happened in the past. Reliving it as a memory will not change it and will only recall the negative emotions and physiology. Also, allow yourself only one assessment of something that is to come in the future, thereby changing your worry to an action plan of what can be done to address the area of concern (start the project, enter a to-do list in your calendar, practice a conversation, etc). Infuse yourself with laughter and humor: comedians, funny books, amusing movies, etc. Practice energy modulation to reduce your empathic response: Focus on your inner space that absorbs others’ emotions and energy. Find a visual imagery
(balloon, weave, etc.) that lets you reduce its size when desired and needed. COGNITIVELY Boundaries are important. Decide when and how long you’ll entertain the worry. Select a specific time to think about this issue and limit the amount of time you will address it. Ten to twenty minutes should be sufficient. If it doesn’t seem complete, then make another appointment time. Question your beliefs. Are they real? Is it true? Is there a different perspective? Talk to a trusted friend or professional so that you can get the fear-thoughts outside yourself where they can be looked at objectively (from the shadow to the light). Look for the “stories”.
Metaphysically we also understand that to bring in more light, the shadow must be seen. As the shadows come out of hiding, their visibility makes it easier to address. Fearing a shadow makes it heavier, denser, darker, and more recalcitrant. By making it visible and turning to look, we bring it to the light with compassion and understanding. This is true for you personally, and also our society. Judy Lipson is a licensed, professional counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit SpiralWisdom.net for more information. This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care. eydismedia.com 29
CELEBRATING EACH MONTH by Mella Barnes
30 | Eydis Magazine
in Music
E
very month is dedicated to honoring certain traditions or holidays. June just happens to be a celebration of three different musical styles: AfricanAmerican Music Appreciation Month, International Surf Music Month, and National Accordion Awareness Month. You could certainly pick just one of these to celebrate, but why not try all three? You’ll learn quite a bit and maybe discover a new genre you never knew you’d like.
It’s so important and you’ll learn so much! Here are several ways to celebrate the holiday: check out some artists you’ve heard about but never actually heard, watch a few documentaries on musicians, read a book about a musician you know (or learn about an artist you never knew before), or support local artists! Hopefully you’re doing this anyway, but if not, why not start now? Check your area to find some bands near you. It’s less expensive than a major concert and just as fun!
Every genre has been expanded and improved by the contributions of AfricanAmericans. One person you may not know about is Harry Lawrence Freeman (1869-1954), who founded the Negro Grand Opera Company and Salem School of Music in Harlem in 1920. Freeman is important to note because his contributions are far enough in the past that most of us don’t know about them. However, there are so many wonderful artists that are not properly acknowledged or celebrated. This month, I challenge you to take any genre and focus on the amazing contributions made by African-Americans.
International Surf Music Month is perfect for June! The summer is kicking off, and what better way to celebrate than by playing some surf music? Bust out that old Beach Boys album, or do a quick Internet search and find someone new. You’re never more than a click away from a new musical discovery. While you’re trying new surf music, why not try surfing? I’m terribly uncoordinated and the only time I ever tried surfing was a disaster. I face planted into the sand until I had chunks of it embedded underneath my eyelids. I’ll stick to just the music, but if you’re looking to try something new this month, maybe surfing is for you. eydismedia.com | 31
listen to songs that use it and develop a new appreciation for this instrument. Huddie William Ledbetter
I’m sure you think mostly of Polka music when you think of accordions, but did you know that it has been used in several major pop songs? Recently, it was featured in “Carry On” by Fun. It has also been used by The Beatles, Billy Joel, and Bruce Springsteen. The accordion was brought to the United States in the 1800s by European Immigrants, and it was very popular until it faded out around the sixties during the birth of modern rock and roll. Visually, it’s a very cool instrument. I just saw two accordions at my local music resale shop for less than $100. I don’t know if they worked, but if you’re interested in learning more about the accordion, check your local store or even Craigslist. I am definitely not coordinated enough to play an accordion (see the surfing story above), but you just might be, and you won’t know if you don’t try. If you don’t want to actually play the accordion, you could look for a local act that uses one, or simply
If you want to combine two holidays into one, check out Leadbelly, a documentary about folk singer Huddie William Ledbetter, who played the accordion. The instrument he used is slightly different than the one we think of today, with piano keys. It was known as a “windjammer” and used diatonic buttons. The documentary is somewhat old (1976), but it combines important African-American musicians with the accordion, so you’ll be celebrating the month efficiently. Every month should be a month to celebrate music. We owe so much of our
culture, personalities, and memories to music. However, celebrating should be about more than just enjoying something. We should seek to learn and experience new things so that when we celebrate, we do so with greater knowledge and understanding. If you’re anything like me, you probably get so caught up in daily life that taking the time to actively seek out new music is pushed far into the back of your mind. You might want to do it, but just never get around to it because you never find the time. This month, make the time to choose at least one out of the three and explore it, learn about it, and celebrate it! Take a few moments to research whichever holiday you choose, and remember to honor the people who made music worthy of celebration. Mella is a session singer, songwriter and producer living in Nashville Tennessee. Also an animal lover, she has three dogs, a rabbit, and any number of foster animals in various shapes and sizes. She is the author of Way Less Cowbell, a book on communicating with session musicians. If you would like more information or to hire her onto your project, please visit www.mellamusic.com
Sources: Columbia University Libraries Archival Collection, H. Lawrence Papers, Biographical Note, http://www.columbia.edu/cu/lweb/archival/collections/ldpd_6381639/index.html Snyder, J. 1994. Leadbelly and His Windjammer: Examining the African American Button Accordion Tradition Golden, H. Jan 9, 2014. Accordions: So Hot Right Now. The Atlantic. 32 | Eydis Magazine
Live your authentic life Take the road less traveled
Talk to Tamara Tamara, the relationship whisperer, is like a walking instruction manual for all of your love, dating. and relationship questions. Ask her your burning questions and she’ll guide you in the direction that is right for you. To ask your questions go to eydismedia.com’s home page and click on Tamara’s picture, under our “Let’s Talk” section.
by Tamara Green
THIS MONTH’S QUOTE IS BY AUTHOR VALERIE SHEPPARD, FROM HER NEW AND WONDERFUL BOOK, LIVING HAPPY TO BE ME! “Your struggles are an opportunity to explore how you might be holding yourself back. Will you hear, explore, and act?” —Valerie Sheppard
Dear Tamara My husband and I are losing our emotional intimacy. It’s not totally gone but it’s definitely taken a hit after he lost his job and I lied about some over spending. We both feel stressed and don’t know how to talk to each other about it. I just want to feel connected to him again—I miss that. Any ideas? Thanks, Missing Emotional Intimacy 34 | Eydis Magazine
Dear Missing Emotional Intimacy,
honesty, and authenticity sound like, “Honey, I’m really upset about something and I need a sounding board. Can you help me by listening to my problem and let me know if I’m over reacting?” By letting your partner into your world, he or she feels included and helpful while you feel taken care of. All of this fosters wonderful intimacy.
I have three great tips for you that’ll help build your emotional intimacy with your husband as if you’re back on your honeymoon: •
•
Imagine Intimacy. Imagination is powerful because beneath the images of the mind, you can tap into the realm of possibility. Like a goal or a dream, envision what you want with your partner. Then, be grateful now for what you’ve envisioned, before you even actualizing it. Gratitude is key because it’s the gateway to welcoming it into your life. Be vulnerable, honest and authentic. If you’re struggling, say so. It’s an amazing opportunity for intimacy with your partner. Here’s what vulnerability,
•
Be trusting and trustworthy. Author John Gottman has spent much of his career researching and writing about the behaviors of couples. He reports that trust is built in a culmination of lots of little moments between two people. An example of this would be a husband saying to his wife, “Sweetie, I see that you are having a tough time right now. What do you need? How can I help
you?” Or, a wife telling her husband, “Thank you for fixing the wobbly door knob. It’s things like this that make my day run a little easier.” Another interesting trust-builder is asking for help. These seemingly small gestures are great for building a trusting relationship. So, relax and enjoy your way back into delicious emotional intimacy with your husband. Want free relationship advice right away? Take advantage of Tamara’s free 45-minute guidance session where you will finally get clarity and relief from your dating or relationship struggles. Whether you are single or are experiencing relationship upset, by clicking here, you no longer have to figure this out alone anymore. Yay! Wishing love, Tamara
Elle Magazine dubs Tamara Green, LCSW “The Soul-centered Love Expert.” She is an author, speaker and trainer, helping thousands of people to navigate the waters of love, dating and relationships – all while falling madly in love with themselves in the process. Trained as a Love Mentor® by Dr. Diana Kirschner, Individual and Couples Psychotherapist, Meditation Practitioner and Hypnotherapist, Tamara’s coaching is highly effective as she combines her many years of professional training with her gifts as an energy healer, intuitive and seer. As a result, Tamara creates an exciting catalyst for deep emotional healing, giving her clients greater success in life and love. She has devoted her life to helping women rise out of pain and fear so they can finally experience the long lasting and loving relationship of their dreams. As well as working 1-on-1, Tamara offers free weekly meditation audios that take you on a journey of love with ease and joy. Join Tamara’s community at tamaragreen.me; Facebook facebook.com TGreenLoveExpert; youtube: youtube.com/channel/UC9MqTnZEJYNEpKnwrjsZ40A eydismedia.com 35
36 | Eydis Magazine
LIFE SECRETS by David Larson
M
y life has always been about learning to love others, learning to love myself, and helping others learn to love themselves. Learning stress-free living and helping others find joy and live their life purpose has been my burning desire for several decades now. I want to share a few key concepts my business partner and I have been teaching to others that we believe will bring you what you want, just as they have for so many others. As you learn to apply these principles in your life, you cannot help but expand into joy and fulfillment. Have fun living from these five secrets to fulfilled living.
• Live from gratitude. There will always be disappointments because we make up what we think will make us happy. When life doesn’t meet those expectations, we have set ourselves up to feel bad. This does not mean you shouldn’t have goals or wants. It does mean you don’t let your happiness depend on achieving those wants. It’s fun to want, and fun to achieve, but prolonged happiness is not related to either of them. Always focus on what you have, not what you don’t have. Result: consistent and sustained joy.
• Reject all complaining. Complaining is giving attention to what other people are not doing that you want them to do, or what they are doing that you don’t want them to do. Have you noticed that complaining doesn’t change others? You must notice this in order to stop your selfsabotaging. Since we get more of what we focus on, continually trying to change what you don’t like in others sentences yourself to seeing a constant display of it. You must learn that others do not have to behave the way you want in order for you to be happy. Focus on creating the life you want for you, regardless of what others are doing. This is much more satisfying. • Learn as quickly as you can that money does not bring happiness. Many people waste their entire lives operating under the belief that if they just get enough money, their stress and problems will go away. There’s nothing wrong with having money, yet it seems that rich people are the only ones that have learned more money eydismedia.com 37
does not solve life’s problems. Notice how rich people always want more. This should be a tip-off to you that “more” is never enough. If you can learn this before you get rich, you’ll save yourself a lot of time in creating your joy. • Peace and joy are different sides of the same coin. Joy is peace dancing; peace is joy resting. Everyone is seeking peace, even if they are not consciously aware of it. We want to feel safe. We want to stop suffering. We want to relax and not worry. This is what peace is. Seek joy and you will find peace. Seek peace and you will find joy. 38 | Eydis Magazine
• Worry and guilt are as useless as complaining. People think if they worry, it will help them avoid feeling bad in the future. This is a fallacy. Instead, all it does is guarantee they feel bad now. Many people think guilt will serve as adequate selfpunishment for hurting others or insure we won’t do something hurtful again;, but it does not correct a wrong and is an inefficient way to try to influence the future. It’s just the ego’s way of getting us to feel bad in the present. Instead, change worry to concern and take action as needed. If there is nothing you can
do, realize worry will not help anything, and let go. Change guilt to an appreciation of learning a lesson, and let yourself feel good in the present about your growth. This is what will help you do better in the future while feeling better now. May your lives be filled with joy and peace, and may you have the wealth money can’t buy. David is a licensed psychologist in private practice who has been leading people into life fulfillment for more than thirty years. His work with Kate Sholonski at Triumph Leadership Group involves creating and sustaining healthy and productive relationships in the workplace. David is a contributing author to four books, has been a TV talk show host, and resides in rural Minnesota with his wife, Carol.
Authors Page Feature Your Book info@eydismedia.com
Self-Growth
42 | Eydis Magazine
7 THINGS A PARENT CAN SAY
to Empower THEIR CHILD by Barbara Abramson
I
f you know me at all, you know I am incredibly proud of my son. And if you don’t know me yet, or very well, know that I am incredibly proud of my son. I am proud of the man he has become. He is thoughtful, insightful, generous, kind, and a lot of other wonderful adjectives that makes a mom’s heart burst with love and, oh yeah, pride.
He graduated high school, went to college out of state, and every year assumed more financial responsibility to make it easier on us as he got jobs. First his food, then his utilities, finally his rent and insurance on his car. He has since moved three times around the country, pursuing his career, and is now enrolled in grad school, paying his own way. And, he’s happily married, gifting us with a lovely daughter.
eydismedia.com | 43
But let’s backtrack a bit. It wasn’t always smooth sailing. I’m talking about those preteen and teen years that most parents moan and groan about. The push back—really challenging—years when they think they know it all and parents are idiots. Yes, we had those too. It is so easy to see the path our kids should follow. After all, we have been there, made the mistakes, and gained the wisdom. So why shouldn’t they want our experience to show them the way? Many of us parent the way we were raised. In some families, you didn’t question your parents at all. For the easy-going child, there was never a need to. But for some children, “I’m the Mom,
that’s why” or “because I told you” are instant pushback and frustrating for everyone. The child pushes back and then the parent pushes harder, and thus begins a ping-pong game of sorts until there is a blow up. Mom and Dad might win and feels justified, yet privately aches for the unhappy child. The child feels angry, unheard, and powerless. I came across this quote from Dr. Shefali Tsabary, clinical psychologist, author and speaker, “We are in charge of our children but not in control of them.” How do we balance that with wanting the best for our children and knowing our life experience can help them on their path? A friend gave me some parenting advice when my son
was about ten, and it totally changed our relationship. Because it taught me how to empower him. It was the best advice I ever received. It starts with asking the child questions, listening, being present, and creating a safe space for them. It is about connecting with them in a way that lets them know they have the power to spread their wings and fly. Here are the seven things I said that helped empower my son be the man he is today. 1. What are your thoughts? This is a great way to draw them out and have a conversation. It is really important to stay on your side of the fence or line, and really give them a safe space to share. If you advance too much or too quickly, they will retreat and the conversation will be over. They have to really feel safe in letting down their defenses and the trust that is built is amazingly strong. 2. How do you plan to handle that? I admit, the first time I asked him this question was a bit unnerving for both of us. I took a leap of faith by not “telling” him what to do. Suddenly, he had the
44 | Eydis Magazine
opportunity to choose instead of just rebel. I could almost see the wheels turning as he figured things out. The question became easier for both of us rather quickly. 3. Have you considered your options? Sometimes, even if they know what the choices are, it gives them the opportunity to have a sounding board to explore them with. 4. Do you want to talk about it? You are giving them the opportunity to talk because they want to, and you’re putting the choice in their lap. Be prepared for a “no” and know that that’s OK. If they don’t want to talk right now, let it be. They will come to you when they are ready, because you left the door open for them to walk through, instead of locking them in a room with you demanding to talk about it right now. 5. I’m really proud that you are working through this. Every child, no matter what age, wants to know their parent is proud of them. This boosters selfconfidence and reinforces new skills of working things out for themselves, as well as making wise choices.
6. How did that feel? This is a follow up to something they shared. It furthers the conversation and tells them you are interested in what they had to say and share. Really engaging with your kids makes them strong, independent, and prepared to handle life. It is so easy for parents to give replies with “ok” and “umm hmmm” and not be fully present. The more you allow them to express themselves, the more they will share with you. 7. I’m here if you need me. Some kids really want to figure things out on their own. But knowing they have a safety net (you) to catch them and guide them when they are ready is the biggest gift you can give your child to empower them. I still get calls asking my advice, thoughts, and opinions because I sought those out in him.
My son calls me nearly every day and our conversations range from “just wanted to say hi” to “can I ask you a question?”. I treasure how close we are and enjoy the friendship that has developed over the years. I look forward to the day he is a parent and has the joy of empowering his own children. Barbara Abramson is the founder and Chief Relationship officer of Making Meaning Connections, a workshop and team-building company. Barbara works with corporations, schools, senior centers and community organizations to help people connect more deeply to themselves, to each other, and to the opportunities in their lives. She’s all about increasing happiness and profitability, decreasing bullying and depression by helping friendships evolve, partnerships develop and Aha moments occur. Barbara also enjoys writing. Her words can be found on The Huffington Post and on The Good Men Project where she is also an Editor. You can connect with Barbara at www.BarbAbramson.com and follow her on Twitter.
eydismedia.com 45
FOR MORE INFORMATION AND WAYS TO HELP GO TO 46 | Eydis Magazine STCLAIRBUTTERFLYFOUNDATION.ORG
C.H.A.N.G.E. Creating Hope and Awareness and Nurturing Growth through Empowerment The St. Clair Butterfly Foundation was founded to inspire a movement of C.H.A.N.G.E. by providing all children and youths with the tools to overcome any adversity and help them to realize their full potential to soar! Based in Oakland County Michigan, this nonprofit organization offers: Community Outreach Programs Creative Art Programs Scholarship Programs Legislative Initiatives Your donation goes directly to helping kids find their voice The St. Clair Butterfly Foundation has successfully helped to change laws in several states to better protect children.
Each year 1-in-4 girls and 1-in-6 boys are victims of abuse. Let’s help these children find their voice. Founded in 2007 by Chip and Lisa St. Clair, and based on his bestselling memoir, The Butterfly Garden, the St. Clair Butterfly Foundation utilizes the power of creative arts, literature, and overall well-being to impact the lives of children facing adversity. Listen to Chip and Lisa’s radio show: The Divine Frequency: Turning Your Passion Into Purpose Tuesday at 9:30 am Eastern Time on Empower Radio
Your donation gives the greatest gift to a child! 47 It shows that they are loved and that they deserve to eydismedia.com be heard.
G
rowing up in a man’s world meant you had to be strong. No crying baby. Hide your tears. Your tears meant you were weak, and those who are weak can’t handle 48 | Eydis Magazine
more than their meager load. Those who are weak can’t achieve goals. Those who are weak cannot be trusted. Those who are weak drag you down with them. Those who are weak are unstable,
off balance, and a risk. Have you ever felt this way and, instead of allowing yourself to be vulnerable and show the emotional side, surrounded
that’s where; if we are lucky it will not take a lifetime, like many before us.
Iron Veil
SHED THE
by Anna Pereira
yourself with an iron veil, making yourself, or rather your heart, bulletproof? One extreme to the other. We feel guilty about our emotions
so we hide how we feel. Tough girl. Tears on the inside and a “don’t mess with me” or “I can handle anything” exterior. Where does that get us? Years of not knowing who we truly are,
Hiding from ourselves, running from expression that wants to come out, or acting the role of someone who we think they’d rather deal with than be our true selves and speak our truth, all disrupt the essence of who we are at the core of our being. How can we find ourselves when we don’t allow the basic emotions out? How do we live in our light if we fear the judgement of others based on their criteria? We fear if we allow someone to see the real us, we would be hurt, ridiculed, shamed, or taken advantage of. Your pain is real, girlfriend. Growing up in a man’s world has hardened you and trained you to carry any load, even if it breaks your back. Who wins when the burden falls? Who wins when your back, spirit, and heart is broken? All because we feel we cannot show our true feelings, growing up in a man’s world. You are damned if you do, damned if you don’t. You are not weak, unstable, unreliable, untrustworthy, unworthy, limited, at fault, or crazy in any way by letting your emotional side out. You are being open, genuine, honest, and authentic. It’s natural and you are human. eydismedia.com 49
I look at the younger generation and although some may feel they have a sense of entitlement, I see the opposite. I cheer them on and say “atta girl” for being able to express themselves. I applaud young adults in touch with who they are, whether it be a gay teen proud of who they are and understanding love is love or a young woman chasing her dreams because she believes in herself; these are the fearless ones we can learn from. It’s a new age, a different time, but not too late! If I could turn back time, there could have been better choices I could have made. Oh the dominos that have fallen from one bad choice after another because I hid or suppressed who I really was. I was shamed for being “wrong,” not being “worthy,” etc. If I had the confidence back then, perhaps I would be so much further along
in life. Alas, this is my journey and since I have accepted myself, found my voice, and express who I am, I accept where I came from and move forward.
How can we, who still live with this iron veil, “un-bulletproof” ourselves and find a way to shed it and be more loving and accepting of ourselves?
As a motivational influencer, I look at audiences who seek more and more “self-help.” I notice so many are between the ages of thirty-five and seventy. Does it take a cataclysmic event? Do we awaken at a certain age? All I know is that I look at a twenty-year-old and think they have a certain wisdom for their age I did not. However, that wisdom is embedded in a confidence, curiosity, and open heartedness I did not have during those suppressed years of my life.
• Acceptance. You are all you need to be. Accept yourself and love everything you are. Your past is behind you. You are allowed and expected to move forward on your journey. Time does not stand still. With love, gently remind yourself how far you have come.
I see that open heartedness is the key. They don’t seem to judge. Things are okay with them, yet can be improved. It’s refreshing, actually, to see how their life will play out. I hope with less lessons than I had to have.
• Live in your life. Be in, ALL in. Live in your life, not through it. Pay attention to your feelings. How do you feel? Do certain people, places, or events make you feel good or bad? Eliminate as much as possible the negatives from your life. Do more of what serves your body, mind, and soul. This is a great path to healing. • Opinions are not truths. Release the notion of what “they” will think. Their (negative) opinion or judgement is not a truth. If you want to dye your hair purple and it makes you smile every time you look at yourself, then dye it purple! Everyone will have an opinion and, typically, it’s a reflection of their own insecurities. • There are truths and the true truth. If I showed you a
50 | Eydis Magazine
photo of a meadow in March, I may say, “Look at this lush green meadow,” and you would agree, “yes, it’s lush and green.” If I snapped a photo in June as it’s filled with so many flowers, you would see only a sea of red, yellow, and white and it would no longer be a green meadow. Truths may be true at certain times and may change over time. Green meadow or flowered meadow, which is better? They are both beautiful. Open your mind to accept truths and how they may shift into new truths, and seek the true truth. • People are people. You will get hurt, but I assure you, the truer you are to yourself, you will see you begin to only allow people into your life who have as much love and respect for you as you have for them. When you are surrounded by people like this, which may mean your social circle getting smaller, you will limit the opportunities to get hurt because of the quality of people you allow in your sacred space. Remember, it’s YOUR sacred space. You control who is allowed in.
• Forgive. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive them, no matter what. Forgive yourself; you do not deserve to punish yourself. Forgiveness frees up your heart to love yourself and others in miraculous ways. Forgiveness is a great way to help heal your soul. • Practice self-love. Pray, meditate, give thanks, be kind to a stranger, engage in an activity that makes you feel alive, healthy, or relaxed, or expands your knowledge or consciousness. These are great ways to show yourself love. The more time you can spend in the act of showing
yourself love, the more open your heart will become. You truly do have greatness to share. Go out there and be the you that you were always meant to be! I am a world changer. I needed a place to thrive and be with like hearted people who care about the world, so I created “The Wellness Universe”. Along with my co-founder, Shari Alyse, I invite you, who impact the world in a positive way, to join us. Visit www.TheWellnessUniverse.com, a platform and network in our community. We are building this for people like you and me. eydismedia.com 51
WHAT IS Enough FOR YOU? by Ann Leach
I’m talking about more than just the things that you tolerate on a daily basis. I’m thinking in terms of success and prosperity, thanks to a business training I attended last week. We were at a beach resort and every meeting room had an ocean view. In her opening remarks, my mentor asked, “are you going to the ocean of abundance with 52 | Eydis Magazine
a teaspoon, a tea cup, or a bucket?” She then talked about how her program would support us in receiving our good, but that we would have to determine our goals, action plan, and commitment to having what we say we want. And if ever we doubted, to just look out the window at the ocean of abundance.
our message and created our plan for the amount of income we desire and the revenue generating activities needed to get us there.
Throughout the training sessions, we got clear on
And yes, those things that we tolerate on a daily basis
We discovered what our belief was around, how much we could earn, and what we deserved to earn. What was enough?
I was thinking “the ocean is unlimited and so is my good.” How do you put a limit on what good should come to you? There is always more for the receiving. I know people who would think that idea is selfish. They grew up with a fear and lack mentality, and were taught that we shouldn’t take more than we need. But I believe it is our Father’s good pleasure to give us the kingdom, right here on Earth. And that having it is part of God’s success plan for each of us. We live in a limitless universe. When you have more money, you can help more people. When you have more health, you can give more energy to the people and projects you care about. When you have more love you can inspire more people around you. When you have more success you can truly live a life worth loving. need to be cleaned up or eliminated. Here’s a quick exercise for eliminating those tolerations: write down at least twenty things that bug you. Now circle the ones you have control over. Pick three of those circled to clean up in the next thirty days. It might mean having a tough conversation or taking a simple action, but doing so
frees up the energy you spent on worry and anger so that you can put it toward peace and success. The tolerations can stand in our way of reaching and achieving the goal, whatever your goal is: money, success, adventure, or health. While I agreed with my mentor’s comments last week about hard work and focus, in the back of my mind
So do you limit your good? What is enough for you? Ann is the founder of Life Preservers Grief Support where she coaches women moving through loss and change after a life-altering event. She resides in Joplin, MO where she also runs the Creative Cottage, a historic home and healing retreat space for people seeking respite from life’s storms. To learn more about Ann, visit lifepreserversgriefsupport.com eydismedia.com 53
Dear Liberty by Liberty Forrest
Dear Liberty, I’m having a problem with a colleague who keeps insulting me. She is always belittling me and has pretty much knocked out any confidence I ever had about myself. I’m angry and hurt, and I hate the way she makes me feel. But I love my job and don’t want to leave. To make things worse, she’s good friends with the boss so I don’t dare complain either. What can I do about this? Signed, Fed up in Phoenix
Dear Fed Up, I’ve had plenty of experience with people like that so I understand how you’re feeling. It can help to look at this woman’s behavior as a gift; please let me explain before you throw rocks at my house. The first part is that her behavior has nothing to do with you. This is about her choice to be rude and insulting. She’s probably like this with lots of people in her life; that’s her issue to work out. Or not. Secondly, your response has nothing to do with her behavior. You always get to choose how you react to what other people say and do. No one can ever control your feelings. So if you have some issues with self-esteem or self-doubt,
54 | Eydis Magazine
another person’s comments might trigger those feelings but that’s on you, not the other person. For example, if you truly love, respect, and value yourself, if you really know and trust yourself, your qualities, and abilities, you’ll have enough confidence not to let the nasty comments of an insecure or bitter person have a negative impact on you.
The gift in those difficult situations is to look at what makes you feel frustrated, hurt, or angry. There will be some reason for it, something that needs your loving attention so you can heal it and be happier. And in the meantime, remember this: What other people do is their karma, how you respond to it is yours. Good Luck!
Liberty
Liberty Forrest is an award-winning inspirational author and Huffington Post contributor. For five years, she did frequent phoneins on the BBC as a psychic/ medium. With a background in social work and counselling, Liberty’s unique program uses a highly creative multifaceted approach to get people unstuck so that they can move forward in their personal and spiritual evolution.
eydismedia.com | 55
The Butterfly Moment What is a “Butterfly Moment?” There is an incredible “HAPPENING” that occurs when a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. The caterpillar is encapsulated by a cocoon of its own making. It is imprisoned in a state of total immobility and darkness. Understandably, it must be a time of pain, panic and despair. However, as a certain life force of “allowing” takes over, this creature instinctively “lets go and lets God” an incredible transformation occurs. It is a transformation and struggle that is totally personal. Scientist tell us that if you help a caterpillar by cutting it out of the cocoon it will die because this struggle pushes life giving energy deep into its growing wings. In other words, “no pain…no gain.” As life energies slowly break loose the caterpillar from the cocoon, an incredible moment occurs. This caterpillar has a realization. It is a moment when it finally understands that all of this pain, panic and despair were for a reason. The caterpillar is not what it thought it was! It is one of the most beautiful insects in the world… that can fly!
Can you think of a more “AHA!” moment that this? 56 | Eydis Magazine
QUANTUM LEAP
coaching
John Schalter and Carrie Hall (married) are professional Life Coaches, who specializes in personal growth, relationship and career coaching. Their solution-focused coaching techniques offer a highly-personalized program tailored specifically to you. With compassion and understanding, they work with you to help build on your strengths and attain the personal growth you are committed to achieving.
Specialized Areas: • Personal Growth
• Confidence & Personal Power
• Professional Development
• Inner Peace
• Relationship Coaching
• Achieving Balance
• Communication Skills
• Health & Weight Issues
To hear more Butterfly Moments from John and Carrie, listen to Empower Radio, Tuesdays at 9:00 Eastern Time. To find out more about Quantum Leap Coaching go to butterflylifecoach.com or call 586.997.4357 10% of all proceeds are donated to the St Clair Butterfly Foundation where John sits as the Board President To find out more about the St Clair Butterfly Foundation visit stclairbutterflyfoundation.org eydismedia.com 57
WHO’S DRIVING
Your Bus?
by Kate Sholonski
I
magine this: your life is a bus. It will slow down for the turns in the road as they show up, some will be hard with sharp corners and others gradual and easy, but it is meant to always take you on adventures. 58 | Eydis Magazine
Ideally, you are always at the wheel, the driver; the one that chooses the direction, selects who gets picked up to accompany you on your trip through life, as well as what fuel you put into your tank.
Your bus can go fast if you choose to lean on the gas, but if you aren’t watching where you’re going there’s always the risk you’ll run into a ditch and get stuck. As the driver of your bus,
You may find yourself on a very bumpy road and choose to keep on traveling that same stretch over and over, believing there is no other way. Perhaps you drive your bus without a navigation system, which means you are not listening to your inner guidance and frequently get lost and scared. You may be filling your tank with bad fuel, which isn’t very healthy for your engine, causing backfires, sputters, and stalls, while causing your vital parts to get gummed up with residue that slows you down.
you are in control. Although you can’t control the environment, how slick the road of life may get under certain conditions or if other buses try to get in your way, you steer your life in the direction you choose.
Since I imagine you want to avoid the many and varied pitfalls of being on the road of life, aside from being wide awake at the wheel, it is vital that you not let anyone else drive your bus. Being a passenger in your life, and not the driver, will always leave you unfulfilled, lost, and void of enjoyment. That was not what was intended when your bus
showed up on the road all shiny and new when you were born. I encourage you to map your course, but to be open to unexpected side trips, trusting that wherever you go you will make the most of it. Of course, not falling asleep at the wheel is vital. Remember that as long as you are alert, taking in all that surrounds you while listening to the hum of your engine, you’ll always enjoy the ride. Happy travels!
Kate transitioned from a 28 year nursing career to life coaching and as a personal fulfillment workshop leader in 2001. After many years of coaching people from all walks of life, she and her business partner repeatedly heard requests from their clients to combine joy and fulfillment with leadership principles. It was that concept that led them to create their business, Triumph Leadership Group, where they focus on training teams from all sized businesses to build positive and productive cultures. Kate and her business partner, David Larson have co-authored two books, Wide Awake: Three Minutes a Day to an Inspired Life and Heartfelt Leadership: Creating a Culture of Connection. They believe when relationships don’t work, the business doesn’t work and that workers who share heartfelt connections will help business thrive on every level.
eydismedia.com 59
Simply Spiritual
M A E R S D T E R E TH P EX Dear Chef, You are learning how to take knowledge (food), use it in different ways (preparing recipes), and turn it into wisdom. You are learning from a part of yourself that has wisdom in how to do this (cooking teacher). When you take certain knowledge (food) and put it together with other things you have learned (mixing ingredients in Dear Dream Expert, Dear Dream Experts, a recipe), you are a bit disappointed with what I dreamt I was with my husband and we were talking to this lady. She was questions, andhad my husband was answering them. He it asking produces. You higherRon expectations for the I dreamt I was taking a cooking class. The teacher was giving great answers, so I told him “You are blowing me away!” The lady said she heard some noises around my husband and said “It’s information you have been learning (you thought handed recipes shetohad samples probablyout thosefive entities aroundand that want be your babies. Iof know you just had sex.” My husband agreed. the food would have tasted better). You want to everything. One recipe was for cookies, and other Sincerely, share this wisdom with your higher self (bringing recipes were for other foods. One recipe had Embarrassed cookies to your mom), and you recognize there a strange combination of things. I thought the has been a change in the way you think about recipes would have been better. When I finished, Dear Embarrassed, your higher self (your mom’s hairstyle has I took a plate of the cookies to my mom. I noticed changed). You like this new wayofof thinking and You are focusing a part of yourself thatIyou aretelling committed to (husband) and you recognize that this part yourself is quite my mom had aon new hairstyle, and kept brilliant. There is another part of yourself that you have not identified (the it lady). See if you can describe in one two words. want to continue (desire forherher to or keep her her how great she looked. I told her she should This (lady) part of yourself has something to do with inner listeningnew (hearing the entities that want to become babies). Babies hairstyle). keep her hair that way. represent new ideas or new ways of being. You have set into motion the potential to create some new ideas (sex). These new ideas are getting your attention.
Sincerely, The Chef
Email your dream to the address below for a chance to have it featured in an upcoming issue of Eydis Kathryn and Patrick Andries are the dream experts. They are the authors of the recently released book from Ozark Mountain Publishing, Naked in Public: Dream Symbols Revealed, and The Dream Doctor. If you would like a dream interpreted, please send it in the body of an e-mail to: intuitiveschool@sbcglobal.net. Learn more about their books at www.ozarkmt.com.
62 | Eydis Magazine
dries
n atrick A P d n a n
ry
E
O WHAT D
M
REA D R U O SY
Dear Dream Expert, I dreamt I was at a voting hall watching people cast their vote. I was thinking I still had to cast my vote, and that I would vote for Trump. I saw Trump and a bunch of other people. He was happy and greeting people. Then, I noticed I was barefoot. I walked to the bathroom and the floor was really dirty and there were small puddles of water. I was grossed out that my bare feet were walking on this dirty floor. Sincerely, Barefoot
by Kath ? N A ME Dear Dream Expert,
I dreamt I moved into a new house with my husband. I went into one bedroom and my husband had completely re-decorated it. I was really impressed. The room was beautiful. My friend Shannon came over with some dogs that she left in the backyard (one word to describe her is shy). I asked her if she wanted to walk on the beach later. Then, we heard loud noises in the backyard, and discovered two of the dogs were violent and fighting. I yelled “these two dogs have to go.� So two people came and claimed them. Then, the other dogs were super calm and quiet. Sincerely, New Homeowner
Dear New Homeowner, Dear Barefoot, You recognize you need to make a decision about something that will potentially have great power and impact in your life (voting for a presidential candidate). You want to choose the part of yourself that is strong to help lead you through life (the type of thinking that Trump possesses would be the part of yourself that you want to be in charge). There are some thoughts you have about your thinking (related to what you think of Trump) that need to be released or cleansed (going to the bathroom). You fear this type of thinking may tarnish (dirty floors) your spiritual foundation (feet).
You are thinking in a new way (a home represents your mind). A part of your inner self (represented by your husband) is improving the way you rest and assimilate new information (he redecorated the bedroom). You have a habitual way of being shy (your shy friend brings dogs which are habits). This habit of being shy causes you to turn against yourself and brings up anger (the dogs fighting). Another way to understand this is that your repression or shyness causes you anger. You recognize the need to release the anger, and when you do it stops the chain reaction of habitual anger (you remove the two violent dogs, and then the other dogs become quiet). eydismedia.com 63
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR SKY TODAY?
by Jodi Grinwald
W
hat color is your sky today? Strange question, right? Took me a long time to realize I had no idea what color mine was. Are you taking the time to pay attention?
Ever notice how much the color of the sky and what is going on outside influences your mood, your day, and your attitude? It may also influence what you wear. 64 | Eydis Magazine
mental habits that will increase your daily energy level. Let’s say you wake up thinking about a business meeting you have. You are going to be responsible for making a major presentation and you don’t feel 100 percent prepared. Your internal sky may be experiencing an internal thunderstorm of emotions that include being apprehensive and frustrated. If you wake up and you realize it’s a three-day weekend and you still have two more days off, your internal sky may be feeling pretty good, sunny at that moment, and you may lean over and press the snooze button. Our thoughts control our lives. However, sometimes we don’t check the weather forecast to see what we are thinking or feeling and wind up living what I call, “the hamster on the wheel effect.” We keep running and running because we just have so much to do. Are we running because there is something to run to or are we running because there is something to run from? For many years I was doing what most do, juggling my career, family, and whatever friendships I could keep as I didn’t have much time left over to give. The week was filled with work appointments, managing staff, hitting goals, managing boards, and some days were fifteen plus hour work days, keeping track of who is picking up the kids, taking them to their multitude of activities, cooking, cleaning, food shopping, doctor’s visits, and so on and so forth. The same holds true with what thoughts we are allowing in our minds each and every day. Your mind is your internal sky and this sky you actually have control over. Paying attention to the self-talk that comes into your mind from the minute you wake up, and taking the time to turn anything negative to positive, will create healthy
Fast forward to my kids being thirteen and sixteen. They decided to break out the old home videos. Right away they both point out the common theme—mom sitting there with her laptop on her lap and Daddy videoing. Now that doesn’t sound so bad because I had to finish work. I was an Executive Director for a eydismedia.com 65
non-profit back then and needed to get work done during all hours, or at least that’s what I thought. Where it goes from bad to worse in the video is where you see me sitting with the laptop on my lap and my kids trying to show me their splits or dances or cheerleading moves and my head is buried in the laptop and you hear them say. “Mom, did you see that?” and my immediate answer, “Yes, it was wonderful. Great job!” Now, let’s go to the videotape…I didn’t even look up while they were dancing, etc. Not a great feeling for them to see that or for me to see that replayed. I was living numb and being that hamster on the wheel, living on total cruise control. Going through the motions of life. Not paying attention to what was important to me. I had a high need for success, wanted to move up the ladder, and more importantly with each move I was able to take better financial care of my family. I didn’t realize during that time it was raining for a good ten years on the inside. I wasn’t happy with all the pressure I had and the way I was choosing to spend my time, but didn’t think there were many other options. Why make waves? In hindsight the answer is clear, but back then it wasn’t. All I did was feel guilty for the time I wasn’t spending with the kids and that didn’t serve me or them.
66 | Eydis Magazine
It took one day for me to have my “ah ha!” moment and realize that the career I was in wasn’t my dream and what I was doing with my time was limiting the amazing moments that I know I wanted to share with my family. I wasn’t living my life’s passion. I was settling. More importantly, my dream was always to inspire, help, and empower others. I was doing that through my current work, but not to the extent that I knew I could offer so many others. At one of my executive events, a life coach spoke as the keynote speaker and she took the audience on this amazing journey from crying to laughing, ultimately inspiring those in the audience long after her presentation. That day changed my life, but not for long. Even though I had the “ah ha” moment I wasn’t ready to make the change. I just allowed it to be what it was. With two kids and a full time career, how was I going to go back to school and become a Certified Professional Coach? I couldn’t find time to do anything, let alone go back to school for over 300 hours. Was I ready to change the weather? Fast forward to two years later. My Dad suddenly got sick. The turning point was when he suddenly passed away and I realized that life is very short. I promised him I would do what I knew my life’s work was supposed to be. So one day, in order to connect with him like most people do when someone leaves us, I looked up to the sky. I had another “ah ha” moment, I saw this amazing beauty. It was like the first time that I had allowed myself a time-out to just be. The sky was no longer just blue. I saw hues of blues, periwinkle within the color palette, and the clouds were no longer just white. I actually saw shapes of different things in the clouds. I felt like I was awake
and alive and connected. I realized that for so long I was shut down and living in shades, but not hues. I could let fear drive me and keep me away from my dream, or change direction and the color of my personal sky. Two months later, to the day of his funeral, I went back to school. The message here that is so vital is that it doesn’t have to take a major catastrophe to finally push you to do what you know in your heart you want to do. You can make excuses for a very long time, but if I could do it then I could have done it two years earlier. I was just happy to have finally listened to my internal sky. I am on a mission to help others do the same. I started to take pictures of the beautiful skies that I would see and posted them on my social media pages. People started responding by sharing their skies from all over the world. It has been a great way to celebrate the beauty, not only in the sky, but in the fact that people are taking a moment to stop “the hamster on the wheel effect” and to no longer be on cruise control. They are allowing themselves to take a breath and breathe in the day.
So, I would love to know the color of your sky. Please join the #whatcolorisyourskytoday community by partaking in sending pictures of your sky through the Today Is the Day Coaching Facebook page, using the hashtag #whatcolorisyourskytoday on Instagram, or send your pictures to jodi@todayisthedayliveit. com and we will post them for you. Remember that it’s not just about what we look up to each day—it’s about what resides within each of us. YOU are the creator of your own journey and your sky. May the sun always shine for you!
Jodi Grinwald, CPC, ELI-MP is CEO & Founder of Today is the Day Coaching, Consulting, and Leadership Development. Jodi is a Connection Coach and empowers individuals to connect to their highest level of success, fulfillment, and happiness. She has just launched a workshop called “From Diaper Bag to Briefcase” in an effort to work with those who are struggling to juggle career, family, and all the heavy bags they carry in their lives that represent their multitude of responsibilities. She is helping people find effective ways to live their true passion. Jodi is also a business and executive coach working with employees to better understand their role within an organization, ultimately connecting to their organizations mission and performance standards. eydismedia.com 67
The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe. –Gustave Haubert
68 | Eydis Magazine
Write For Eydis Media eydismedia.com/be-heard
eydismedia.com 69
70 | Eydis Magazine
FIND WHAT YOU LOVE!
(AND DO MORE OF IT) by Dr. Kate Siner
L
iving your purpose is the key to your fulfillment. When you embrace your life purpose, you commit your effort to what you’re best able to do. And this has infinite positive outcomes. Living your life purpose blossoms a sense of wellness throughout your entire life. You experience true harmony because you’re not emotionally invested in any particular outcome and so you’re better able to make lemonade when life gives you lemons. Each and every one of us wrestles with a nagging sense of un-fulfillment until we understand that it’s in our power to create our happiness and to live our passion. For example, if I believe my actions and interactions make no impact, then I’ll have a negative perception of my life inside and outside of my workplace. If I perceive myself
as a victim in all circumstances, as though the world sets me up to knock me down, I will shy away from circumstances that might prove my belief otherwise. Instead, I’ll likely create situations that prove I’m at the world’s mercy. This perspective will leave me blaming others, feeling resentful, and stuck. On the other hand, if I believe that my actions have the potential to make a positive impact, then I’ll feel more positive about my life, more excited by my choices, and ultimately, more fulfilled and satisfied. Moreover, if I see a situation that is dangerous, negative, or hurtful, I’ll feel it’s possible for me to take action towards a positive outcome. This creates a virtuous cycle. Over time, I’ll see the net effect of my positive actions and will likely find it easier to face challenging circumstances in a positive way. This makes a profound difference in my life and the lives of others.
eydismedia.com 71
So, what does this cycle of positive action have to do with life purpose? Well, in order to move toward your life purpose, you need to feel as though what you’re doing makes a difference. Otherwise, there is no reason to bother. Whatever it is that you feel passionately about, you can do it! In fact, you were meant to do it. Think about yourself in the terms used by Alan Watts, “You are the perfect expression of the universe exactly where you are in this moment.” Or, as Ralph Waldo
Emerson wrote, “The eye was placed where one ray should fall, that it might testify of that particular ray.” Since my work is all about helping people achieve a feeling of success and fulfillment in their lives, I’ve made a list of fundamental questions that will help you identify your life purpose! This list will give you a good sense of where to focus your energy as you take your first bold steps towards the life of your dreams.
PASSION:
1. Figure out what you love.
People are happier when they know what they love. 2. Do it often. Doing what you love makes you feel more fulfilled. 3. Remove things from your life that are mediocre, beige, flat, or merely being tolerated. You only have so much time, attention, and energy; don’t waste it on what does not matter.
COURAGE:
1. Know what is important to you. 2. Know why it is important to you. 3. Because, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” –F. Roosevelt
KINDNESS:
1. Learn to be good to others and do it as much as possible. 2. Learn to be good to yourself and do it as much as possible. 3. Go out of your way every day to do something especially nice for a total stranger.
GRATITUDE:
1. Pay attention to all the wonderful things that are 72 | Eydis Magazine
a part of your life, both large and small. 2. Thank people for what they bring to your life. 3. Learn to find gratitude, even for the things and people that are difficult.
CONTEMPLATION:
1. Take a few moments each day to sit quietly. 2. Keep a journal. 3. Learn to listen fully to what someone is saying. Really take it in before responding.
FORGIVENESS:
1. Make a list of everyone in your life that you have an unresolved issue with and find a way to resolve it within yourself and, if possible, with them. 2. Forgive yourself. 3. Make it a practice to forgive others as quickly as possible.
PLAY:
1. Make time to be creative in ways that please you the most.
2. Laugh as much as possible. 3. Remember that your life is what you dream it to be. Dr. Kate Siner is an award-winning Entrepreneurial and Personal Development mentor, speaker, author, and radio show host. She has a PhD in Psychology and years of both clinical and coaching experience. Her passion is to help people move past whatever holds them back so that they may embrace all they can be. Kate has developed a series of successful personal development programs, newest of which is LifeWork Virtual. Learn more at www.katesiner.com or email her at admin@katesiner.com. eydismedia.com 73
DIVINE MASCULINE APPRECIATION
FATHER’S 101
74 | Eydis Magazine
by Gary Stuart
A
s summer approaches in 2016 at record speed, it’s time to enjoy the outdoors and nature with friends and food. Many even go to exotic locations, whether it’s the beach or a lake, to enjoy what nature has to offer as a balance to your daily sweat and toil. As June is always Father’s Day month, and many do just that (after all May is for mothers), hail the divine masculine. Being a constellation healing facilitator for the past seventeen years, I find myself as an unwitting expert on the complex and simple dynamics of family systems. I can honestly say fathers are judged very harshly. “He was unavailable” being the most common judgement. Many fail to see he wasn’t home (as much as the mothers) because he had to go out and make a living to support and feed his family, and maybe even came home exhausted before he left for work yet again. Most fathers support the mother, children, and the future wellbeing of his progeny. It’s really not his fault he wasn’t around for the small stuff and, of course, many fathers weren’t around at all too. At the very least, there was family time on the weekends when he was available. Over the years, I’ve had many clients judge their father’s in a very narrow and myopic way, which is pretty selfish. Many times it’s the mother who fosters the judgements of “him” to emphatically state “I’m good because I’m here. He’s not as good because he’s not around.” The common undertone is the start of a subtle betrayal of the masculine to show maternal love. Be loyal to mother or else! In many cases the mother demands exclusion of the father in a symbolic way to wield her power and camaraderie with the children. Everybody wants to be number one. Sometimes, a mother may do that to take charge of her brood making the father eydismedia.com 75
number two (literally and figuratively). She may use her children for her comfort while he’s out in the world, as home, hearth, and children are her domain. I often find the options or judgement about fathers missing the point, even if valid at times. Believe it or not, even if you never knew your father or he disappeared, he still made your mom your mother. He also gave you the universe of possibility to manifest your dreams to come true! By the very fact you have a body to live in, and life is the ultimate gift that was given to you. A gift he shared and now you share too. You have a body and birthday, plus a birthday cake, because of him! I find many
spend their lifetime judging the “frosting on the cake,” thereby ignoring the cake. We can become distracted by the historical details instead of the gift! Stop and take time to see the cake and the gift of life that’s yours. That random or intentional orgiastic moment in time was all that was needed to pass on the gift of the universe on to you. It really is profoundly amazing on so many levels that the code of our XX or XY DNA strands contain the whole universe for you to inhabit for a lifetime. I have worked with many clients who have been through seemingly unfortunate and negative sexual experiences. Life is a priceless gift that is passed on regardless
of the situation. It seems life itself doesn’t care. life just wants to move forward and create its future beings without judgements or even morals.
Our Mother as Our Past and Our Father as Our Future Children have a future because of our parents. No matter what it looks like, that fact has to be honored and respected to have a good life. Many clients wonder why they have prosperity or love issues. It all goes back to honor and respect of what came before. It’s so easy to judge and not see the miracle of the events that created your being. Everyone alive received the gift of a lifetime to manifest in the universe of possibility called life! The divine male gives you the spark to have your body and a lifespan outside the womb of the divine feminine. She creates you cell by cell from inside and the divine masculine creates the external world for you to inhabit on the outside. Our parents created us as a perfect yin-yang of balance
76 | Eydis Magazine
and wholeness. This is who we are in this less than perfect world, which is actually perfect. Can we love the imperfection as much as the perfection? The best way to live in harmony and succeed is to appreciate what is rather than what wasn’t. All the shoulda-couldawouldas in the world won’t change it. Let it go and enjoy what you received. The gift of life is yours for the taking. It’s your universe; enjoy the ride. What amuses me is how all species are weak in the face of sexuality. All logic goes out the window in a moment in the heat of passion. As always, luck would have it huge dramas and problems ensue. These innocent babies exert tremendous power as their very being changes couples into parents, the couple’s parents into grandparents, parental siblings into aunts and uncles etc. all because an expected or unexpected new baby comes along.
“Life has only one goal, to move forward at all cost.”
In life we all move forward with progress from the moment of our creation. If we can accept the divine masculine and feminine as they are, we can grow and learn to accept that all that happened is good. Life is about growing and maturing toward our completion with satisfaction (if we’re lucky). Being alive is completing a mission in time as we move closer and closer towards our unseen fate and destiny. It’s been said that the goal is to enjoy the journey rather than the destination. We all too well know the destination is death. Now that I have your attention, buck up and enjoy your life now as time is passing by at lightning speed. I find you’ll live much longer in harmony with “what is” rather than “what
wasn’t.” Father time awaits as you knock on destiny’s door. Gary Stuart, Author, Constellation Facilitator, Teacher, Lecturer, has been documenting his healing experiences over the past several decades. As a young student of Primal Therapy and Shamanism, his insightful writings provide a unique perspective on the correlation between the micro and macro-cosmos, between our inner and outer worlds. His first book on constellations, Many Hearts, ONE SOUL, set the stage for his latest book, Master YOUR Universe: How to Direct & Star in Your Own Life on Kindle or paperback at Amazon.com. He leads workshops and trainings nationally and internationally and resides in Los Angeles. Visit www.HealingInActionNow.com or www.ConstellationHealingInstitute.com eydismedia.com 77
Wealth Consciousness Manifest your destiny
BE PREPARED TO GO THE DISTANCE by Ellen Rogin, CPA, CFP®
W
hile training to run in the Chicago Marathon (I’ve done this six times over about thirty years), it’s occurred to me that preparing to run 26.2 miles is a lot like preparing for retirement. Preparation, focus, discipline, and a plan are all important. You can do it on your own or with a team of other runners for support. There are also training fundamentals, which are important for both marathon runners and people wanting to retire comfortably financially. HAVE CLEAR GOALS Some marathon runners set a goal of crossing the finish line, others try to beat their last best time or qualify for the Boston Marathon. The first time I ran, I just wanted to finish the race, which I 80 | Eydis Magazine
did, but it was a miserable experience! The next time I ran in a marathon, I set the goal to finish and have fun. I was able to do this. At the starting line, I met a great woman from Madison, Wisconsin who kept me company the entire run. We talked until we were too tired to talk any more. I realized though that training for the race was really lonely. It takes a lot of time on the road to get ready to run 26.2 miles, and doing it alone can be pretty boring. Ten years later when I regenerated my motivation to run that far again, I decided to join a running club. The entire experience was a lot more fun and with the support of a coach and other runners I was able to be a smarter runner. Clarity on what I really wanted from the marathon experience helped me to reach my real goal.
When planning for retirement, the clearer you are about what you truly desire in your retirement the more likely you are to reach your goal. Many people set a goal similar to “I want to retire at 65.” This is akin to me saying I want to cross the finish line. What do you really want retirement to
look and feel like? Where do you see yourself living? Will you be totally retired or do you see part-time or volunteer work in your future? What type of lifestyle do you want to have and how does this compare to your current standard of living? The more clearly you design your future retirement picture
the more likely you’ll be to be able to reach your goals. Don’t worry you can change this picture, but start with one. HAVE A PLAN TO FOLLOW Getting ready for a long race requires developing a plan for training. Similarly, knowing what it takes to
have a secure retirement significantly increases the likelihood of reaching your goal. You’ll need to know the current value of your assets, projected expenses in retirement, and how much you can expect from any pension plans and social security. How much eydismedia.com 81
you’ll need to save for your future financial independence will depend on other factors, such as when you want to retire and how much you’ll need to live on when you stop working full-time. Armed with this information, you can work with an advisor or use an online retirement calculator to help you determine if you are on track or need to make adjustments. PUT YOUR PLAN INTO ACTION Once you know what you need to save to reach your retirement goal, consider setting up automatic investments into your retirement funds. Most everyone does better with
savings when it is set up to happen automatically out of your pay check or savings account. Here are some guidelines on where to allocate your retirement savings, in order of priority. If you or your partner has a 401(k) or similar employersponsored retirement plan available at work, your first retirement planning move should be to do everything you can to contribute the maximum into these plans. Why? Your employer may match your contributions. Plus, the money you put in reduces your taxable income for the year. And any growth of the money will be tax-deferred until you take the money out in retirement. (If your company offers a Roth 401(k), there’s no tax savings now, but when you take the money out during retirement, any investment growth will be tax-free.) The forced savings of
82 | Eydis Magazine
an employer-sponsored retirement plan is also, usually, super supportive in helping people hit their goals. Once the money starts being taken out of your paychecks automatically, you’ll probably quickly get accustomed to living without it. If you don’t have a retirement plan through work or your business, or if you do and want to sock away even more money, the next type of account to consider is an IRA (Individual Retirement Account). Think of an IRA as a container that can hold almost any type of investment and allow it to grow, tax-deferred, until you take the money out during retirement. If you are a business owner, beware of the trap of assuming the eventual sale of the business will totally fund your retirement. I hope this happens for you. Most business owners, however, will need to save outside of their business to provide sufficient funds for retirement. GIVE YOURSELF TIME AND BE CONSISTENT For most runners, it would be potentially dangerous to wait until the last minute to prepare for a marathon.
Beginning to train far ahead of the race and consistently running according to a training schedule will lead to a much higher likelihood of success. This is true for retirement savings also. It is much more difficult to retire securely if you wait until a few years before retirement to get serious about planning. Instead, if you begin thinking about your financial future early and start saving on a regular basis, you are more likely to meet your goals. But, if you are starting late in the game, don’t be discouraged! Saving what you can and moving toward your goal is going to be better than giving up all together. PROTECT YOURSELF FROM INJURY Obviously an injury can seriously hinder the training and success of a runner. Similarly, a financial injury, such as loss of income through death or disability, can hurt your financial future. Fortunately, there are a variety of ways to limit the likelihood of this happening. Disability insurance can be very important if you are relying on your income for your future financial security. Life insurance can protect your family in the
event of an economic loss relating to a death. Longterm care insurance will help protect your finances in the event of the need for at-home or nursing home care for a family member. Your investments also need protection from financial injury. Diversification can help to reduce the risk of concentrating too much of your money in one type of investment.
GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME Unless you love pain, the only sane way to enjoy marathon running is to have a healthy mindset. What I say to myself about training for, running, and recovering from a long run has a direct impact on how I feel. Similarly, having the right mindset for reaching retirement goals is imperative. What we think and say about our money and our financial eydismedia.com 83
excitement, or joy. Actually feel these emotions as you are picturing your future life.
future has a huge impact on our results. Do you think or say things like, “I’ll never be able to retire!” or “I’m so worried about retirement?” Thoughts are energy. Focusing on what you are afraid of, worried about, or discouraged by will not help you to see opportunities to get ahead. Instead, replace these scarcity thoughts with abundant ones you can get behind. Replace your worries about what might happen with a focus on what you are doing, such as: “I’m saving on a regular basis for my future,” or “I know the world is always changing, this brings new opportunities,” or “I am so grateful for ___________” (you fill in the blank). 84 | Eydis Magazine
VISUALIZE SUCCESS Many of the world’s best athletes picture, in detail, their competitions beforehand to improve performance. The same can be done with your financial goals. Spend time picturing your retirement. Be very specific in focusing on what it will be like for you with your retirement. You can visualize the steps along the way, including: saving on a regular basis, the growth of your investments, and feeling secure about your financial future. Add as much detail as you can to this picture. What will you be doing after you stop working? Who will be there with you? What do your surroundings look like? To turbo-charge your vision, add in how you will feel as this is happening in your life. Maybe it’s a feeling of peace, confidence,
There are people who believe that they will never be financially secure and that they will be forced to work their entire lives. Unfortunately, unless these people make some major changes this will likely be true for them. On the other hand, if they could start to picture a different future for themselves, one which includes a comfortable retirement, they would be much more likely to see a better result. Mental images of our finances play a crucial part in creating prosperous lives for ourselves. Whether you’ve been training for years for your retirement or you are a newbie, moving toward your goals, taking the right action,s and following a plan will help you to cross the finish line feeling great and it will inspire those around you to do the same! Ellen Rogin, CPA and CFP®, is an Abundance Activist® and author of the New York Times best seller, “Picture Your Prosperity: Smart Money Moves to Turn Your Vision into Reality.” Learn more about Ellen and her programs at. www.ellenrogin.com
CONNECT
Advertising that Works
eydismedia.com/advertise
Healthy Living 86 | Eydis Magazine
eydismedia.com 87
DEAR OLD DAD 88 | Eydis Magazine
by Liz Bull
I
f Facebook had a label for the relationship we have with our fathers, I think it would be “it’s complicated.” And that remains true even when Dad has passed away. While his life ended, the relationship did not. It continues to influence our lives, including our relationship with food. While Mom is our first experience with food, being fed and nurtured, Dad plays a part as well. If it went well, we tend to have a normal relationship to food and a trust in the universe that our needs will be met. If not, then things get “interesting.” Let’s face it, few would call being a dad an easy gig. I have heard it called rewarding, challenging, worthwhile, and a number of other things. Easy, though, not so much. And then there are the child rearing gurus who have much to say about what makes a “good” dad, adding to the confusion and guilt. As far as I can tell, babies are still not born clutching owner manuals in their chubby little hands. And they are all “custom.” What is perfect for one kid is dead wrong for another. So, it’s tough to get it right.
One of the tricky places where things go wrong is with food, especially with dairy and grains. Many childhood ailments (sinus, earache, and eczema to name a few) are directly correlated to dairy products, grains as well. It really breaks my heart. I experienced it firsthand. My parents followed what everybody said: milk is good for kids; Wonderbread builds strong bodies twelves ways; And oatmeal, immortalized in this vintage ad for Quaker Oats, is just the ticket to help your kid succeed! Hopping in the truck (with our special enameled metal pail) to get fresh milk from a cousin’s farm was a weekly ritual. Sundays were the special days when Dad made pancakes or waffles, which we slathered with maple syrup and butter. Unfortunately, what my dad did not know is that early and prolonged exposure to dairy and grains (not just wheat) is a set up for obesity, insulin resistance, and gastric upset for kids who are O blood type. So, I struggled with chronic sinus problems, colds, acne, headaches, and weight. I felt dreadful after school lunches of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. eydismedia.com 89
set up to eat when we are not hungry, to eat to please someone else, or to eat more than we want or is good for us, to the point of discomfort.
The daily apple (meant to keep the doctor away) gave me an upset stomach. Let me be clear here, 45 percent of Caucasians are type O, but 51 percent of AfricanAmericans and 57 percent of Hispanics are also type O and the most susceptible to this problem. If you are another blood type (A, B, or AB), it may not be an issue at all. If you have hopped on the “gluten free” bandwagon, please step off long enough to get tested. The ALCAT test for food sensitivities is readily available (online or through your doctor) and reliable. To get better insight on how to optimally nourish your body (and your kids’), grab a copy of Dr. Peter
90 | Eydis Magazine
D’Adamo’s book Eat Right 4 Your Type. Better yet, learn to use kinesiology (muscletesting) to test foods. Book a complimentary appointment with me and I’ll show you how. Go to www.lizbull.com. Mealtimes and food choices also play a major role in navigating the relationship with dad and our relationship with food. If you are a member of the “Clean Plate Club,” you know exactly what I mean. In their determination to have a well nourished child, overbearing parents (Dad is often the “enforcer”) can destroy a child’s ability to tune into the natural body signals around hunger and satiety. Thus, we become
Rather than being pleasurable, mealtimes become a battleground. Food becomes the enemy. Food becomes a source of guilt. It also becomes as source of inflammation in the body when we are forced to eat foods which our body cannot process. Take avocado, the current darling of the food gurus. It is touted as the miracle food. For me, avocado was an acquired taste. It was not love at first bite. This should have been a clue! I learned to love avocado in guacamole atop corn chips, washed down with a frozen Margarita. That should have been another clue. If a food has to be doctored up to be palatable, it’s probably not going to sit well with your body. After reading D’Adamo’s book, I got curious. I took an empirical approach and decided to test avocado on its own. I ate one quarter of a naked avocado. The result was a three-pound weight gain overnight. Cantaloupe was another acquired taste, acquired in childhood because I was not allowed to leave
the table until I had eaten it. I learned that with enough sugar or salt, I could make the taste bearable. Later on, I told myself that I “should” be eating this “healthy” fruit, memories of Dad saying, “Eat it! It’s good for you,” ringing in my ears. Again, I became curious and tested. My taste-buds had it right. Avocado and cantaloupe are not for type O (me). Neither are oranges or strawberries, which I never liked. Few fruits are actually beneficial for O blood type bodies. I urge you to take a look at foods you are eating but not actually enjoying, foods that don’t sit well. While I love the smell of oranges, they feel awful in my mouth and even worse in my stomach. Food is meant to be pleasurable and enjoyable. It’s meant to make us feel great afterward. If the food you are eating doesn’t do this, please test it. Eliminate anything that
does not suit your palate or your body. Never mind what Dad said about the starving children in China or some war-torn country. The pleasurable memories of Dad or Grandpa and food can also become problematic. Perhaps, like me, you have happy memories of making waffles with dad, going to the local bakery to pick up coffee-cake or doughnuts after church (along with getting the Sunday paper), or driving to the ice cream stand in the summer. Grandpa made the best cornbread! He had an amazing garden. He also loved to take us all out for Sunday dinner, typically to waterfront restaurants, which I adore to this day. Food has a tremendous ability to soothe, especially sweets and “soft” foods like cake, ice cream, puddings, bread, and
biscuits/scones. One of my clients comforted herself with little Italian rum cakes, which brought back memories of her dad. Unfortunately, we can never get enough of what we do not need. Rum cakes are no substitute for hugs and attention. If you find yourself hankering for one of these foods, stop and ask what it is you really want. Perhaps it’s time to call your dad.
Liz Bull helps women (and brave men!) who are fed up with weight loss programs that don’t work to finally get a body and a life they love. She is dedicated to busting up the myths, misconceptions and misinformation about obesity. With her innovative signature program she works with her clients to release their limiting beliefs, doubts, and fears, and helps them tap into their natural abilities and their bodies’ wisdom, making weight loss easy and safe. A Medical Intuitive, Master Theta Healer and Certified Virtual Gastric Band Practitioner , Liz has long been fascinated by the important role mind, body, and beliefs play in our lives. Her other studies and certifications include EFT, Psych-K, Matrix Energetics, Access Consciousness, QiGong, NLP and Transcendental Meditation. She has transferred her successful healing/ mind-set work with businesswomen to the arena of weight loss because she has experienced first-hand the havoc and misery that obesity creates not only for the sufferer but for their families. www.lizbull.com eydismedia.com 91
92 | Eydis Magazine
Song!
SING A HEALTHY THREE TIPS FOR HOW TO USE YOUR VOICE TO STIMULATE HEALTH AND WELLBEING by Sharon Carne
In last month’s article, I shared with you how sound and music can help you regain access to the thinking part of your brain when it has been compromised by stress. This month, I’m excited to share with you one of your most powerful allies for stimulating health and wellbeing and reducing stress. It is your own voice.
Y
our voice resonates in every cell of your body with every sound that you make. Sound is a physical energy, pushing against your atoms as it goes through you. In fact, sound goes through you four times faster than it goes through the air and twelve times faster through your bones. Think about it. Your voice is created inside of you. Your ribcage, throat, mouth, and skull all act as amplifiers of your voice. Every sound you make with your voice pushes around every atom of your being even before the sound of your voice leaves your mouth. I call
this a “sonic massage.” In this way, your voice creates an instant response in the body and mind, and creates an emotional and spiritual connection. Your voice also carries every frequency of your body. You have it with you all the time and it costs you nothing to use. Consider the sounds that flow naturally from your body without even thinking about it. Aww, what a cute puppy. Ahhh, that feels good. Ooo, how interesting. Ooo, I like that. Uhh, that’s heavy. eydismedia.com 93
Can you imagine how much more it would hurt when you stubbed your toe if you didn’t say “ouch!”? Moans and groans are other sounds that come from your body instinctively. All of these natural sounds of the body actually stimulate your brain to release neurochemicals and endorphins that help your body heal or manage pain. What I would like to share with you is how you can use the natural sounds of your voice to amp up this healing release of endorphins and also to help minimize symptoms of stress. TIP 1: RELAXATION AS SIMPLE AS A SIGH You can use the natural voice of the body to discharge excess emotional energy and the stress it brings on. We do it all the time. We sigh. We just don’t do it consciously. A good sigh is one of those natural sounds of your body that stimulates the brain to release endorphins that help the body manage pain or heal.
A vocalized sigh is even more effective. A vocalized sigh is when you actually say ahhh as you sigh. To maximize the effect of the sigh and the release of endorphins, start the vocalized ahhh around the middle of your vocal range; let it drop into the low sound of your voice as you sigh “ahhh” on a long full breath. Try it three times. Notice how you feel. I have shared this experience with thousands of people. Most often I hear “I feel calmer,” or “I feel so much more relaxed!” What you are experiencing is the release of endorphins— the “feel good” hormones—dissipating the stress hormones, adrenaline, and cortisol. TIP 2: BE HERE NOW Have you ever arrived at a red light when out driving and you can’t remember how you got there? I certainly have. Whenever I notice myself doing this, it is a great reminder to become present and pay attention to my driving. When I’m driving my car, my life depends on me being present! Not remembering how you got to the red light is an example of being un-grounded, or not present, and of being in your head more than your body. Many of us spend most of our day in our head! Maybe you are working on a report due tomorrow at work, sitting in a brainstorming session, in a community meeting, solving problems, cooking dinner, driving kids to activities, or the worst one—captured by ongoing chatter in your mind, especially the worry chatter. The truth is, you do your most effective and greatest work
94 | Eydis Magazine
when you are grounded and present. One of the sounds you can use to ground and become more present instantly is the word Ho. This strong, quick sound comes from deep in your belly after you have taken a deep breath. Try it three times. Remember, it needs to be a very strong and quick sound. How do you feel? Do you feel more present, more focused? Ho grounds you into your body and allows your mind to clear and you to become more present. TIP 3: JOIN THE CHORUS Have you heard the saying, “there is strength in numbers?” This saying applies beautifully to using your voice with other people. One of the most spectacular ways to do this is to sing in a choir. Numerous studies around the world have been and are being conducted to evaluate the many benefits of singing. Some of the physical benefits include improvements in breathing, circulatory system, your heart, posture, immune system, mental clarity, pain relief, and stress reduction. A few emotional benefits include self-esteem, confidence, uplifting, energizing, emotional release, and balance. Whenever you sing or play music with other people, hormones are released by your nervous system, like dopamine and serotonin, that make you feel good. Oxytocin, the “bonding” hormone that brings us together
in community, is also released. Even singing your favorite songs in the shower will produce many of these benefits for you. And the best part, it doesn’t matter if you think you have a horrible voice or can’t carry a tune. Sing anyway! Music has always been and always will be the voice of the individual heart and soul, and the voice of humanity’s heart and soul. This voice has been with the human family since the dawn of time. A voice that benefits every particle of your being. A voice that fills you with the best things in life, like joy, compassion, bliss, love, commun,ity and so much more. And a collective voice that reminds us that harmony is our natural state. Sharon Carne is an author, speaker, musician, recording artist, sound healer, Reiki master and consultant. Sharon is the founder of Sound Wellness, whose programs are at the forefront of education in how sound and music can be easily applied to your everyday life - to reduce stress, help you concentrate, energize you, inspire you, support your health and so much more. www.soundwellness.com eydismedia.com 95
your path your dream
96 | Eydis Magazine
Own your own local Eydis magazine
AGING WITH HEALTH AND VITALITY:
MY HUSBAND’S STORY
98 | Eydis Magazine
by Toni Crabtree
M
y husband often jokingly refers to himself as my “show and tell,” walking-talking evidence of the effects of taking my advice on healthy living. While I can’t take all the credit, he’s at least half-right. Rich is a trim, attractive man with a gray beard, very little hair, beautiful blue eyes, a warm smile, and great posture. If you are like most people, you would be very surprised to learn that this year he celebrates his 55th high school reunion, and that he is, in fact 72. A very healthy, vital 72. No medications, no significant surgeries. I am often asked, especially by men over fifty, how he does it and what is my best advice for men to stay healthy as they age? In honor of Father’s Day and in memory of my own dad, whose poor health and death at age 65 from heart disease provided the motivation I needed to get a grip on my own health, I will share some of my husband’s best health practices and habits with you. First, let’s acknowledge an advantage he has: he has
good genes. His father lived to 88 and his mother to 96. Despite this wonderful gift, we now know that good genes aren’t everything and that lifestyle habits can undo even the best of genes; that’s the science of epigenetics (the way in which the expression of heritable traits is modified by environmental influences or other mechanisms without a change to the DNA sequence). Built on that foundation of good genes are many small daily habits that serve my husband well. The ones where I can take the most credit are those that involve food. Let’s start with his morning smoothie. I refer to it as a “salad bar in a glass.” My husband’s typical, quart-sized smoothie contains all of these: water or non-dairy milk fresh greens: collards, kale, spinach, or mixed greens cucumber carrot celery ½ frozen banana frozen pineapple chunks protein powder, usually pea protein eydismedia.com 99
Rich has more veggies before 10 a.m. than most people have all day. It’s a good start. Another part of his morning routine is supplements, and we’re picky about them; these are in higher, therapeutic dosages and have many third party verifications of purity, potency, and bioavailability, or absorbability. They help reduce any “agerelated” aches and pains of inflammation, and support his overall health. Lunch for Rich might be an ordinary sandwich, salad, or leftovers. Never fast food. I often prepare large quantities
of his favorites to have on hand for quick meal prep. White chicken chili, black bean soup, or thick vegetable stews provide lots of fiber for digestive and heart health. He also loves sardines. I’m very happy he loves them, as the omega-3 fatty acids are a boon to his skin, brain and heart. That makes me happy! Rich’s favorite snack is sliced apple with peanut butter. We keep organic peanut butter and organic apples when they’re available. This snack gives him a good mix of healthy carbs, fiber, and healthy fats.
Depending on our schedules, dinner may be a variation of lunch. But, if we’re cooking an evening meal together, it may include smaller portions of grilled meat (steak, hamburgers), roast chicken, poached or baked wild salmon, or, for special occasions, roasted lamb. There are always vegetables, abundant vegetables. Green beans are his favorite, but cauliflower, broccoli, asparagus, Brussel sprouts, squashes, peppers and onions, etc., all have a place at our table. We especially enjoy the collards and herbs from our own garden (basil, rosemary, ginger, oregano). For starches we enjoy sweet potatoes often. Less often there is quinoa, rice, or red potatoes. All of these provide healthy carbs for energy, fiber for digestion, and micronutrients to support his overall heath. We all have our weaknesses, and Rich has a serious weakness for sweets. I’ve caught him more than once drinking honey straight from the bottle (it’s raw, local honey of course), and a pint of ice cream is an occasional indulgence. He enjoys red wine often, and likes to end his day with a scotch on the rocks.
100 | Eydis Magazine
You might be wondering if he has ever had a weight problem. Several years ago, Rich’s 6’2” frame was carrying about 207 pounds. He had a little tummy developing and he didn’t like it one bit. So he made the dietary changes and began eating as I’ve described. He cut out fried foods, and, what probably had the greatest impact, he stopped eating after 7 or so. If he doesn’t get home until 8, he simply doesn’t eat. This habit of not eating after a certain time is now popularized as “Intermittent Fasting.” It works great for him. He dropped 30 plus pounds easily and has maintained his weight between 170 and 175 for years. Exercise is especially important as we age, and Rich stays active. We have a mini-gym in our garage where he uses light weights, an elliptical machine, and a system that uses his body weight in resistance exercises. He works out with these up to three times per week, depending on his schedule. Rich is an avid golfer, and I can count on him to play at least once per week. I can also count on him to walk the course rather than using a cart, 90 percent of the time! I’ve shared with you many of the things Rich does to maintain his health and vitality. There’s one more thing and it
may be the most important of all: Rich loves to learn and to contribute to our community. He’s an avid reader of fiction and non-fiction, he serves as a volunteer ambassador to two chambers of commerce, he is a leader in a personal development community, and he works a part time job in the golf department of a nearby sporting goods store. Each of these activities has him engaging with a diverse range of other people, accomplishing new things, and having the satisfaction of personal growth and contribution to others. All of these habits contribute to my husband’s excellent health. My role has been to upgrade the quality of the foods we eat and supplements we take, increase (dramatically) the amount of vegetables we eat, and to encourage him in pursuing all the things he enjoys. That, my dears, is the most important thing of all.
If you’re worried about the man or men in your life, my best advice is to take things one step at a time. Unless they’re completely on board with you, don’t try to change everything all at once. We made major changes in our household over the course of a couple of years. As your man experiences the benefits of those changes, like sleeping better, having more energy, improving lab results, etc., it will become easier and even natural to make them permanent. To your good health and happiness! Toni is a mentor, author, and connector who maintains an on-line coaching practice. She lives with her husband in Orlando FL where she is actively at work to raise consciousness around food and lifestyle for a healthier, happier tomorrow for all. To schedule a consult with Toni go to CrabtreeHealthyLiving.com or email her at toni@crabtreehealthyliving.com
eydismedia.com 101
8
TIPS TO FEEL GOOD
Inside and Out by Cindy Nunnery
W
e try and try and try and it just never happens! Those pounds just don’t go away (or they sneak back on). The skin looks good one day but the next—not! And let’s not ignore the energy roller coaster that
102 | Eydis Magazine
seems like a permanent ride. What we need to really understand is that no matter how hard we try on the outside, it is all still a reflection on what is happening inside our bodies.
It is simple really. I have put together eight of the top tips to get you where you will glow on the outside and feel like a million bucks inside! And they are pretty simple too.
So what can you do?
Are you ready?
Follow these eight nutritionbased tips and you will be on your way to feeling good and being happy inside & out. You will be amazed at how good you can feel so quickly. Enjoy! Sip hot water with lemon every morning. The simple
combination of warm water with fresh lemon can boost up your immune system, balance your PH, and give your digestion a kick-start. Eat a healthy breakfast within an hour of waking. Morning is a very special time
of day; it sets the pace for how the rest of the day will play out. This is especially true for breakfast. Studies have shown that people who skip breakfast or eat a highglycemic breakfast are 80 percent more likely to eat more calories throughout the eydismedia.com 103
day compared to those who eat a healthy, low-glycemic breakfast. Stop skipping meals. Skipping a meal, even if you are trying to save up calories for later, causes your body to go into starvation mode; this slows metabolism and starts a hormone dump that ultimately leads to fat storage. Your body then kicks into high gear sending you out to eat anything you can get your hands on and a lot of it (we call this overeating). Instead, keep your blood sugar and metabolism stable by eating five to six healthy meals and snacks daily. Have a plan for eating out. Having a plan when you are going out to eat or traveling is vital. If you don’t, chances are you will eat more than you need to. If you skip lunch
104 | Eydis Magazine
because you know you are eating out for dinner, we know what happens; when you get to your dinner table, you will polish off that basket of bread before you know it plus your whole dinner—you can’t help it. Eat healthy small meals throughout the day and, when you are choosing at the restaurant, choose the healthiest, freshest, low-carb/ sugar options. Get moving. We all know that exercise is important to our health and wellbeing. It helps us manage stress, keeps us feeling good and looking younger, improves our ability to recover from illness, and even releases “happy hormones.” Find movement and exercise you love to do and you will do it more often. Walk. Run. Dance. Yoga. Hike. Zumba. Be sure to build in both
muscle and cardio because too much of one thing isn’t good, even with exercise. Drink Thou H2O a.k.a Water. We can’t live without it. It is good for our heart, skin, gives us energy, it helps with digestion & digestive issues, and can take away the hungry feeling. Our bodies are more water than anything else, so we need to keep the tank filled. Drink your first glass of H2O within fifteen to twenty minutes of waking and before any other morning beverage, like coffee or tea, so you hydrate your body first. Spread out drinking your daily water - drink a glass between your meal and snack in midmorning and midafternoon. Limit water with meals to a three to fourounce glass. Drink a glass thirty minutes prior to a meal.
Learn to make a healthy smoothie. A power green smoothie is a great breakfast option and a nutritious meal on the go—breakfast, lunch, or dinner. You can create just about any flavor you want and they are nutrient dense meals or snacks you just can’t beat. It can help you start your morning off with a burst of energy and it can also help you slim down. Plus, with all the great ingredients, your complexion will be glowing like never before. I have recipes and tips on my website and blog, stop on over. (PS: An all-fruit smoothie is not what I am talking about here. They lack balanced ingredients and are high in sugar.) Take a good quality multivitamin, probiotic, and fish oil. Everyday. If you are looking for the simplest and easiest thing you can do to improve your health, take these three supplements. A high-quality multi-vitamin feeds your cells the micronutrients (vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants) they need to keep your heart healthy & working well, your skin fresh, glowing & renewed, your muscles strong and working, and your all-important digestive system working like a charm. A pure fish oil supplement of the essential omega-3 fatty acids feeds your brain, hair,
skin, and benefits your heart, joints, eye, and bone health. They are also very important to cell membrane health and this is where the absorption of all the vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants occurs. The probiotic is essential to your digestive health and immune health; it can also help with acne and make your skin glow. Gut health is so important to our wellbeing and how we feel—taking care of it is an absolute. The health of your
gut affects every single aspect of your heath. Certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, Best Selling Author, Speaker, Entrepreneur, Advocate for Living Lives We Love Everyday— Happy, Healthy & Energized! Email: cindy@cindynunnery.com Website: cindynunnery.com Follow Me: @cindynunnery Get Linked with Me: linkedin.com/in/ cindynunnery Like/Follow My Facebook Page: Facebook. com/poweredbynutrition eydismedia.com 105
106 | Eydis Magazine
Top 5 Habits to Getting (and Staying) ULTRAFIT by Rachel Tipton
I
am pretty sure I have never met a single person who did not wish to be in better shape. Everyone is searching for the quickest and simplest way to look and feel like a superstar. So, what do the real life mega stars do to get UltraFit? It’s simple really, although not necessarily easy. You can get UltraFit too, if you begin to consistently implement the following habits into your lifestyle: • Don’t Diet; Eat Breakfast: If you are a chronic dieter, you have probably learned by now that diets just don’t work. The yo-yo effect of feeling deprived and then selfsabotaging can be disastrous on your body and your spirit. Drop the diet mentality, and begin thinking about fueling the machine. If you woke up each morning and the gas in your car had evaporated, you likely would not make it to your first destination. Perhaps you could get somewhere on fumes, but not very far. Think of your body in the same way: you MUST start off the day by feeding your body with good quality fuel (protein is the best option). Studies show that people who consistently eat a healthy breakfast tend to be leaner. If you are not a “breakfast person,” then at least throw back a protein shake on the way to the office or school drop-off. eydismedia.com 107
• Make Exercise a Habit not a Chore: Would you wake up in the morning and head out the door without brushing your teeth? Most likely not. Why? Because it is a habit. It’s not as much a chore as it is a positive choice to ensure that your first encounter with another person is a pleasant, rather than embarrassing, one! If your mindset is, “Ugh. I really need to go to the gym,” then try shifting it. Or, find another form of exercise that you do enjoy. At first, you may have to work at the mental side of things; a new habit takes about twenty-one days to stick. Encourage yourself that inertia will kick in and that this new routine will soon be a habit. Stay consistent with the time of day you choose to work-out so that your body comes to expect it. When you reach the point where you feel deprived when you don’t workout, you know you are in business! Daily exercise is a positive choice that will enhance every encounter with another person! 108 | Eydis Magazine
• Don’t Compare Yourself to Others: We are all different and amazing in our own way. We are also walking our own unique path and fighting our own battles. It is never a good idea to compare yourself with others. It will only lead to frustration. Your body is unique and awesome. It’s the only place you have to live, so be kind in the way you treat yourself and talk to yourself. • Get Some Rest: We have all heard the advice of getting eight hours of sleep at night. While this may not always be possible, try to get as much rest as you can. Our bodies
make the best gains during rest. If you are on the fast track to getting fit and extremely goal oriented, be sure to take at least one day per week to rest. No exercise except for light walking and stretching. Your body needs a chance to repair itself. • Set Up a Support System: Accountability and support are essential to success. Find a workout buddy. Join a support group or group fitness class. Hire a personal trainer.
It’s tough to reach any goal all by yourself. So, build a team of encouragement all around you. It will help you on the days when you just do not feel you can get through a workout.
Rachel Tipton is a Fitness Coach currently residing in Pawleys Island, SC. She is a retired dancer with over twenty years of experience in the fitness industry. She uses unorthodox motivation to sculpt the UltraFitLifestyle for her clients, focusing on fitness, nutrition, and mindset. She is passionate about helping people discover and move past their obstacles so they can reach their health and fitness goals. Rachel believes that the right customized fitness program can increase business productivity, improve relationships, and enhance one’s overall lifestyle. Contact Rachel for: • Skype-cise workouts in the comfort of your own home
If you need accountability, support, or help with your fitness journey, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me at www.UltraFitLifestyle.com.
• One-on-One Coaching • Personal Training • Group Fitness Classes • Motivational Speaking www.UltraFitLifestyle.com
eydismedia.com 109
110 | Eydis Magazine
Weight Loss WHY IT’S NEVER JUST ABOUT THE POUNDS
by Vanessa Chamberlin
O
ne of the things that I often hear from clients is that they’d like to lose weight. They know that they are carrying some extra pounds and think that a plant-based diet will help them drop those pounds. On the surface, they think if they lose weight, they’ll look better, and if they look better, they’ll love themselves. It’s never just about the pounds. What I see with clients every day is that weight gain is never
the sole cause of unhappiness. It might not be helping you to feel good, but it’s almost always a symptom of other problems. For some, it’s because they don’t think they deserve to be pretty. For others, it’s because they are trying to fill a void left by an absent parent, a loss early in life, or are punishing themselves for mistakes they’ve made, sometimes even decades ago. Many people are trying to live up to impossible standards and pressure from the outside world, and are so stressed that they don’t know how to make time for self-care. As I talk to people and
eydismedia.com 111
get to know them, we work together and talk about how their lives have progressed to today. Eventually they come to realize (or admit) that their weight problem is really a self-love problem, leading to a lack of confidence and a lack of fire. So here’s my question: what is keeping you from loving your body and treating it with the highest level of respect and care? Are you unhappy because you haven’t realized your dreams, because you are feeling the effects of loss, or because you’ve been hurt or 112 | Eydis Magazine
neglected by people who were supposed to love you? What is it that put out your fire, or never allowed it to form? You don’t have to have all of the answers. For many people, as they begin a plantbased lifestyle, the energy and mental clarity that comes from fresh and wonderful nutrition can help them begin to understand how to positively change other parts of their lives. Learning self-care and how to love yourself is a process. We’re always evolving and growing as people, and there is no
end to the cycle of fueling your own fire. I just hope this message can reach people who are hurting now, and help them begin to live a firedriven life, to feel beautiful from the inside out. Vanessa Chamberlin is a Certified Holistic Health Practitioner, Lifestyle Coach, and author of The FireDriven Life: How to Ignite the Fire of SelfWorth, Health, and Happiness with a Plant-Based Diet. For more information, please visit www.vanessachamberlin.com and connect with her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/VanessaChamberlin/ or Twitter @vkchamberlin.
Live in the moment
eydismedia.com/be-successful
Believe that you can do anything eydismedia/be-successful