EYDIS Authentic Living
magazine
HOW TO INCREASE YOUR &
Power Influence RESILIENCE 4
HABITS TO IMPROVE YOUR
Life
SHELLY LEFKOE
RE-CREATE YOUR LIFE
MARCH 2017
EYDIS Authentic Living
Warrior Woman Goddess of the Island
Imagine All the Possibilities EYDIS Interview EYDIS Contributor EYDIS Sponsorship EYDIS Licensee Click to learn more from the publisher https://youtu.be/HGFUGYj8HBs
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Maria Savoy
C O N T R I B U T E R S
The founder of Eydis, has been in the marketing and media arena for over 20 years, owning five businesses and selling two of those. She creates local magazines as well as publishing a global magazine creating an awareness around articles that are empowering and inspirational. As an Author and Prosperity Coach, Maria helps others to live the life they desire.
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EYDIS Authentic Living
magazine
Eydis magazine is a monthly publication and makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising, editorial content and placement: however, we cannot make any claims as to the accuracy of information provided by advertisers or editorial contributors and will accept no responsibility or liability for inaccurate information or placement. No content can be duplicated without the permission of Eydis Media. For inquiries e-mail info@eydisauthenticliving.com.
10 | Eydis Magazine
Mella Barnes
Carol Benson
Liz Bull
Amanda Butler
Sharon Carne
Annabel Cohen
Liberty Forrest
Tamara Green
Elaine Grohman
Carolyn Krieger-Cohen
Judy Lipson
Anna Pereira
John Schalter
Kate Sholonski
Janette Stuart
Gary Stuart
Pam Thompson
Patrick Andries Kathryn Andries The Dream Experts
Wini Curley
Laura Solomon
eydisauthenticliving.com 11
from the publisher The Law of Attraction Says; What You Think About You Bring About. The Law of Attraction is the idea that we can attract anything we want into our life by visualizing our desired results, using affirmations, expecting good things to happen, being appreciative and taking inspired action. I realize that this may seem simplistic, I mean who doesn’t want to just feel good and visualize a great future, right? But I can assure you that it is not. The most critical first step in understanding the law of attraction is to understand that our thoughts matter and that our thoughts create our entire lives. They create our feelings, which then create our actions, which then create our lives. Think about it for a minute, the words, I can’t, I shouldn’t, I don’t, I am not, are all words we say when we are confused about the direction we are heading. They make us feel that we are unable to do what we desire to do, and has a result we create non-action in our lives. On the other hand, the words I can, I will, I do and I am, are words that give us power and make us feel that we can do anything, leading us to take action.
“Your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings create your actions, and your actions create your life.”
It’s as simple as, if we say we can, then we can and we do. If we say, we can’t, then we can’t, and we don’t. Our mind always agrees. Believing that we can and taking inspired action, will always lead us in the direction of success. Many people over the years have called me “a master at manifesting.” I have to admit that I am. I proudly proclaim; if I can think it, I can make it happen, and you can too. Here are a few steps that have helped me to increase my ability to manifest. Clarity – You have to know what you want before you can declare that you want it. Start by clearing your mind. Think about what is missing in your life, and then begin the process of writing down ways that you could bring these missing things into your life. This will start an inner dialogue, causing you to come up with some creative ideas on how to get what you want. The more specific you can be, the better. Create An Attitude – An attitude of gratitude. Always be conscious and thankful for what is being shown to you. Whether it’s, creative ideas, finding a clear direction, putting up with crabby kids, standing in long lines at the grocery store, or stuck in traffic, every situation relays a message. It could be a little as finding patience in that moment. No matter what the circumstance, gratitude allows us to look at things from a different perspective and gives us a new way to look at our lives and the world around us. Self-Talk – Don’t worry; no one is listening but you. Focus on how you talk to yourself and others. Is it positive or negative? For example, I am so tired of being tired; I wish I could get more sleep. Instead, try, I didn’t get much sleep last night, I’m going to make sure I get to bed early tonight. Another example, I feel fat and ugly, I can’t even get into my jeans. Instead, try, I’m going eat healthy today, I can’t wait to fit into my jeans again. It’s all about how it makes you feel when you say it. Positive self-talk will keep you in a place of receiving. Visualize Your Dreams – I use this process all of the time. I am a huge believer in creating a vision board. Once you become clear in the direction you want to take, whether it’s too loose weight, have a healthier relationship, create an abundant business or maybe it’s all of those, find images, pictures, or drawings to create your board. Images enable us to visually see what it is we want, bringing it foremost in our minds. Hang it where it can be seen every day as a reminder of what’s to come. Vision boards will evolve as visions expand, add to it often. Manifesting what you want can be fun, so play with it, but to make it work you have to be willing to take action. Nothing happens if you don’t take the steps forward to create the life you desire. Start by incorporating the few steps I have mentioned and see where it takes you.
Maria Savoy – Publisher
maria.trueshiftcoaching@gmail.com maria.eydismedia@gmail.com 12 | Eydis Magazine
g n i v i L c i t n e th u A s i d y E g y t Brin i n u m m o C al c o L r u o Y o Magazine T er sh i l b u p e h t m o r ore f m n r a e l o t k c i Cl Bs H 8 j Y G U F G be/H . u t u o y / / : s p t t h
feature
page 14
Shelly Lefkoe Re-create Your Life recreateyourlife.com
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Eydis Living
Self-Growth
26 Anti-Social Media
50 Awaken the Lion Within You & Plant Your Seeds for New Beginnings
30 This Could Be Your Lucky Day 36 Resilience 40 The Ethics Trap Unfullfilled Promises 46 Story of a Recovering Pleaser
56 A Bucketfull of ‘What Ifs’! 60 Life After Loss 62 Be the Light at the Beginning of the Tunnel 68 Me, Myselfie and I 72 Marching Forward
March 2017
Simply Spiritual
Wealth Consciousness
78 The Dream Experts What Does Your Dream Mean
94 The Power and Influence We Have As Women
80 Talk to Tamara Doubtful
Healthy Living
84 What the Dead Has Taught Me About Living Well
100 De-Stress So It Doesn’t Feel Like Work
88 Ask the Life Coach
106 Is Your Water Destroying Your Health?
90 Could It Be A Blessing In Disguise?
110 Low & Slow
Shelly Lefkoe
16 | Eydis Magazine
Re-create YOUR LIFE by Maria Savoy
S
helly Lefkoe is the co-founder and Vice President of Lefkoe Institute, a San Francisco Bay Area firm whose mission is to significantly improve the quality of life on the planet by having people recreate their lives and live as the unlimited possibilities they are,” and re-create she does. If you have ever had the good fortune of meeting Shelly, you would be taken in by her contagious smile, her dynamic personality, and her brilliant mind. Shelly has had the privilege of helping thousands of clients worldwide rid themselves of a wide variety of topics from the everyday issues such as lack of confidence, phobias, relationships that never seem to work, anger issues, procrastination, unwillingness or fear to confront people, to the more serious eating disorders, and sexual dysfunction
Her clients have been able to eliminate emotional patterns such as fear, hostility, shyness, anxiety, depression, worrying about what people think of them, and a negative sense of themselves. It is clear that the work she does has made her an expert on many levels with an emphasis on how to raise healthy, successful children who are free of limiting beliefs. Shelly is the author of “Parenting the Lefkoe Way,” a seven-CD guide to effective parenting, and the co-author of The Chicken Soup for the Soul - Guide to Effective Parenting. This e-book empowers parents through their interactions with their children to help those children form positive, rather than negative, beliefs about themselves, people and life. Her personal vision is to transform the way people
parent. She believes that if we raise a conscious generation of children, violence will end, people will treat each other with respect and dignity, and life on this planet will be better for everyone.
The reason people don’t change is because their beliefs get in the way. It is more commonly known today than ever before, that our beliefs determine our behavior, our emotions and even ultimately our reality. Thirty years ago when Shelly and her late husband Morty would talk to others about their beliefs, it was quite the opposite. When we asked what their beliefs were back then, it was common for us to hear, “well what do you mean, religious beliefs?” Shelly shares. eydisauthenticliving.com 17
It was through much research and long hours of journaling that led Morty to realize, that people don’t create change through working on their symptoms, they have to eliminate the cause of their symptoms. Trying to change a problem without addressing its cause is like building a house on an unstable foundation. The Lefkoe Method enables you to replace the foundation by eliminating the causes of your problems: limiting beliefs and emotional conditioning. You unlearn what you’ve learned in the past that keeps you stuck today. Shelly helps her clients by identifying problems, finding the beliefs that cause them and then eliminating them. She calls problems “patterns.” Here are a few examples of patterns she helps her clients overcome: • She has helped people get rid of behavior patterns such as procrastination, inability to express oneself, and inability to manage money -- some had the habit of spending everything they had, others couldn’t take the actions needed to make enough. 18 | Eydis Magazine
• Emotional patterns she’s helped clients change included the all-toocommon fear of public speaking, fear of failure, and even depression. “It’s fascinating because people have spent years and years in therapy learning how to cope with their problems, but what we do, is get rid of beliefs, which, gets rid of problems so there is nothing to cope with,” Shelly explains.
Inherently Good Enough “Some of the beliefs that limit us most come from our experiences as a child. For example, we form many of the beliefs that form the bedrock of our self-esteem as children. In 30 years just about every client I’ve had has had beliefs like “I’m not important” and “I’m not good enough.” Shelly shares. “Sometimes when a client tells me they don’t have these kinds of beliefs, I will ask, “What
makes you good enough,” they almost always say something like because I am successful, or others think well of me, or it’s because I take care of others. But the truths is, if you have to do something, be something or have something in order to be good enough, then you can’t believe you are inherently good enough.” “Here’s a great example,” Shelly continues. “I had a client who said to me, I don’t have anything to prove anymore, I know I’m good enough, I have a good life with enough money. I replied with, it’s so much deeper than that, if you didn’t have the money that you have, or lead the life you live, would you still be good enough? He thought about it for a moment and said; okay now I get it.” “Imagine holding a beach ball underwater, when you let go, it immediately wants to pop up. The ball represents your core self-esteem beliefs like I’m not good enough or
I’m not important and when it suddenly slips, popping to the surface you feel, I’m not good enough, but as you push it back down, you tell yourself, what makes me good enough is the achievements in my life, and as long as I’m successful, the beach ball of “I’m not good enough” stays underwater. But the reality is, as we get older, it gets harder and harder to hold the beach ball down.” Imagine if there was a way to get rid of the beliefs that prevent us from changing our behavior. To be able to confidently take action on our goals, overcome the fear that holds us back and beat the procrastination we may often feel. Well, that is what the Lefkoe Method does. It allows us to take a deep look into what we believe, why we believe it and then re-create ourselves in ways that better serve us. eydisauthenticliving.com 19
The way we raise our children can change the world.
The answer is to change how parents, parent.
If beliefs are formed within the first five to six years of life from interactions, of children with their parents, then what is the greatest thing you could do to change the world?
Shelly’s website “Parenting the Lefkoe way,” is giving parents the tools that they need to teach their children how to create positive beliefs about themselves. In her seven-CD
guide to effective parenting, parents are taught to be aware of what their child is learning from them, allowing the parent to ask the question, “is this really what I want my child to learn?” Studies have shown, that children are born ready to learn. They cultivate 85 percent of their intellect, personality, and skills by the age of five. The fastest rate of brain development is between birth and the age of 3. The effects on infants are substantial, as they understand facial expressions even before they start to communicate. Shouting and yelling in the house affects children and from the age of 2, as they begin to respond to their parent’s communication. If a mother yells at her child, the child may conclude I’m bad or I’m not good enough, or yelling is the way to get what I want. Slowly as children grow older, the negative statements used by their parents start having a stronger impact on their emotional development and their beliefs. It’s not so much what the parents say or do, it’s what the child concludes based on what they say or do. If you’re not affectionate children conclude I’m not lovable or I’m not worth loving if they’re told no all the time they conclude I don’t deserve or I’m powerless, if they’re criticized they conclude I’m not good enough. Those beliefs will determine how they live the rest of their lives. Besides feeling unloved, unwanted, undeserved and unprotected.
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Shelly and Morty Lefkoe
The Lefkoe Family
that? Why do I have to go to sleep? Why can’t you play with me? Why?
We are all born without knowing what to expect from this world. We blindly trust, watch and learn from those around us. Soon we learn the words no,
you can’t, you shouldn’t and don’t. Beliefs begin to form and by the time a child turns 3, the most common question a child asks is “Why?” Why can’t I eat
“Actions at times are stronger than words. Parent’s years ago would be busy going to work, making dinner, or taking care of the house. Parent’s today have the same obligations but are now also busy on their iPhones, which leads to even less attention for the children. eydisauthenticliving.com 21
Shelly and Morty Lefkoe
If you’re busy on your iPhone and your child is trying to talk to you and you appear not to be listening, what do you think your child is going to conclude? That I’m not important, and over time if done often enough, a belief is formed,” explains Shelly. Many times parents are not aware that they are impacting their child in a negative way. We are not handed a manual when we leave the hospital or the birthing center. No one says, here’s how you can empower your child to not have negative beliefs. Our belief system determines what you do, what you say, and how you feel. It affects all aspects of our lives.
What if as a child you have a horrible experience such as abuse, what impact does that have on their life? 22 | Eydis Magazine
“The underlying philosophy of my work is that while events may have consequences, it is what we conclude about the events, the meaning we give them that gives them power. If you are abused in some way, it is definitely scary while you are going through it. But the day that you walk away, it’s not happening anymore, and if I were to open you up and look into your body, you would be the same person you were before that happened to you, physically your insides have not changed. But here’s what hurts us, it’s the meaning that we give to it, which turns into our beliefs, which then causes all of our sufferings. The beliefs that get formed are “I’m powerless, I’m damaged goods, I’m worthless, It was my fault. As well as I was abused because; I’m not good enough, I’m too fat, I’m too slow, I’m not smart enough. These beliefs stay with us through years of therapy because if feels as if we saw these meanings inherent in the events. So we begin by looking at other interpretations. It could just be that the person who did this to you, was just a sick person and it had nothing to do with you… period.
Now, if everyone was capable of walking out of a house saying, everyone in that house was nuts and dysfunctional, I’m going to go out to create healthy wonderful relationships and find people who will treat me with dignity and respect, you’d be fine. But usually people don’t do that, they tend to believe, that somehow it was their fault, and that the horrible thing that happened to them, could have been prevented by them. This is very important to remember, events themselves may have consequences, but they have no meaning. If someone at a party walks by and doesn’t talk to you, you are likely to give that action the meaning that they do not like you; it doesn’t necessarily mean that. Here’s a great exercise to do to check with yourself when you’re feeling a certain way. Ask yourself, what meaning did I just give to that event, and then come up with several other ways of interpreting the events. You will soon realize there are multiple ways you could receive that message and the emotions will go away. Changing your mindset around a situation that has happened to you does not mean you should not feel it, it means you should evaluate what you concluded about it. It is natural to feel bad about something that you have experienced and validation is a very important part, but attaching a belief that you are not worthy or lovable is a whole different situation.
There is a common belief the runs through most people, and that is, what makes me good enough is having other people think well of me. When I got rid of that particular belief, my entire life changed.”
Re-Create your life Shelly has a program – re-create your life – 19 most common beliefs that you can actually get
rid of with an online program she offers. To try this method, Shelly offers help with one free limiting belief online at recreateyourlife.com “Although you will see quick results through our programs, there are steps you need to follow to eliminate your beliefs. Everyone has formed beliefs, whether it be a belief around money, parenting, or how you should live your life, as you get rid of these beliefs, the freedom that comes is extraordinary and the results are quick.” About a year ago, Shelly’s life was shaken to its core when she lost her husband of 30 years. Shelly explains that what
helped her through this horrific time was her beliefs. “It would have been easy for me to take to my bed for the next two years, but my mother brought me up with the belief that life is meant to be lived, it should be fun and easy. So I grieved and continue to grieve. I feel sad, I ‘ve had days and moments when I have had to pull myself off of that ledge, but because I know and believe that life is so precious and should be lived with peace and easy, I continue. I love the work I do; it helps to get me through.
Not giving meaning to absolutely every in your life is a daily practice. One that Shelly is cognizant of every day. Shelly has two daughters, Brittany and Blake, who have completely different personalities. But the one thing they both have in common besides their love for both their mom and dad is they are fully self-expressed women who are living their passions. “I wasn’t a perfect mother and I don’t have perfect kids, but my daughters are confident and they know who they are. I am proud of the beliefs we have instilled in both of our daughters.” To learn more about the Lefkoe Institute, visit lefkoeinstitute.com. To hear Shelly’s full interview with publisher Maria Savoy, go to the homepage of eydisauthenticliving.com. eydisauthenticliving.com 23
Authentic Living
ANTI-SOCIAL MEDIA
26 | Eydis Magazine
by Mella Barnes
A
s an entrepreneur, I’m required to have every single social media platform. Currently running on my computer are Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and a blog. On my phone I have Instagram. I also have LinkedIn, Google+ and YouTube. I’m probably missing some that I forgot I even have. If you’re not an entrepreneur, these sites might be fun to hop on, check in with your friends and favorite celebrities and go about your life. If you’re an entrepreneur, simply having these sites is not good enough. We have to be logged in all the time. We have to engage, attract, and sustain. We need branded and themed social media pages and these need to all match each other. It is important that no one confuses Mella Barnes the writer/session singer with Mella Barnes the sword-swallowing trapeze artist. It’s an exhausting task to be constantly monitoring these sites. I have to track how many followers I have, how much growth I’ve had over three months, which posts were most popular, and so on. Studies have shown that social media can make us feel worse about our own lives, by repeatedly comparing ourselves to the news feeds of others. I feel like this is amplified as an entrepreneur because not only am I jealous of
that lady’s house and vacations, she also has a more successful business and bigger profits than I do. This leads to a lot of depression and anxiety. I am by no means an expert on how to deal with social media depression (as I currently and frequently experience it), but I thought I would put together some ideas we can all share and try when being social becomes too much:
1. Take a Break If you’re not running a business, this can be as easy as refusing to sign on for a little while. Just please don’t make a dramatic announcement that you’re leaving, because those people always come back and it makes them look like they desperately need attention. If you’re running a business, taking a break isn’t always an option. However, setting posts to go on autopilot can help you disengage for a little bit and avoid having to see everyone else’s six-figure sales while you made three figures all month (true story).
2. Turn Off Notifications I turned my notifications off on my phone because I didn’t need to be jolted awake at 4 am because someone tweeted that my latest song is terrible. I still have notifications on my laptop, eydisauthenticliving.com 27
however, because I have this fear that Ariana Grande might contact me and ask to use my song and I won’t respond within 20 minutes and she’ll give up and go elsewhere. I have a sinking feeling this may not be an imminent event, so I’m going to go ahead and turn my notifications off for a bit. This will allow me to log in less often and give myself a break.
3. Unfriend, Unfollow, Block I’m guessing we all did quite a bit of this during the election
season. Yet there are still people in my feed who just make me cringe with jealousy or roll my eyes at their insincerity. I’m going to let these people go. If I still need them as a connection, I’ll simply unfollow (note, this only works for Facebook! If you unfollow someone on Twitter, Instagram or others, you lose your connection to them altogether). If I don’t need to know them and they constantly annoy me, I will unfriend or unfollow. If they are meanspirited, cruel or racist/sexist/ etc, I am going to block them
regardless of whether I need them as a connection. I don’t have room in my life for this, and I hope you will agree.
4. Connect in Other Ways Many people have suggested talking on the phone instead of liking a status. I absolutely hate talking on the phone so this isn’t an option for me, but if that works for you, go for it. Email is a better option for me, so I’m going to encourage clients to communicate with me that way. We can also see each other in person more often. I’m pretty much a hermit in general, so forcing myself to go out and interact with friends is probably good for me. In the end, I don’t really have any answers. If you’re struggling with this, I’m here with you. Hopefully, these will help you, and maybe they’ll help me as well. Here’s to being anti-social! Mella is a session singer, songwriter and producer living in Nashville, Tennessee. Also an animal lover, she has three dogs, a rabbit, and any number of foster animals in various shapes and sizes. She is the author of Way Less Cowbell, a book on communicating with session musicians. If you would like more information or to hire her onto your project, please visit www.mellamusic.com
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eydisauthenticliving.com 29
THIS COULD BE YOUR LUCKY DAY 4 habits to improve your luck by Wini Curley, Ph.D.
S
t. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner, and we enjoy celebrating my husband’s Irish roots in March. I got to thinking about what it means to have “The Luck Of The Irish”, so I did a little digging. No pun intended (you’ll see – keep reading).
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Most people think “The Luck Of The Irish” means people from Ireland have unusually good fortune. Not quite. According to IrishCentral.com, the phrase originated in the late 1800s when many famous and successful miners digging up gold and silver were of Irish heritage. Over
time, the phrase carried a note of sarcasm, implying that the only way the Irish miners could achieve such great success was through dumb luck and chance, rather than by applying their brains and skills. In 2003, Professor Richard
If you would like to become luckier, try making a habit of the four Luck Principles described below. 1. NOTICE AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF CHANCE OPPORTUNITIES This Luck Principle requires you to keep an open mind, and remain alert to what is going on around you, both the planned and unplanned. When I was a sophomore in college, I went on a blind date. The circumstances were not ideal. He had planned a picnic outdoors, and Mother-Nature brought a torrential downpour. We ended up eating inside at the fraternity house. As we finished lunch (which I had to cook), two of his friends came by. The four of us played cards for hours. It turns out that one of those friends eventually became my husband. If I had been too focused on my blind date, or the bad weather, or how things didn’t go as expected, I could’ve missed the opportunity to connect in a positive way with someone who helped determine the course of my life.
Wiseman published a book called The Luck Factor. He studied people who considered themselves lucky and those who characterized themselves as unlucky. He concluded that our luck is created by a series of attitudes, beliefs, and associated behaviors that can
be learned. He taught these principles in his Luck School and proved that 80% of his students (regardless of whether they began by considering themselves as lucky or unlucky) reported feeling happier and more satisfied with their lives, as well as being luckier.
Yes, it is important and valuable to approach social and business situations with a plan or intention for an outcome (even if it is just to have fun – like my blind date). In addition, I also recommend that you stay open to new possibilities and allow yourself to FLOW - Follow Life’s Opportunities Willingly. If you are too focused on waiting for the bus, you may miss the limousine that drives up and offers you a ride. eydisauthenticliving.com 31
2. USE YOUR INTUITION TO MAKE DECISIONS Logic is important, and having the facts about a situation does help you make good decisions. In addition, your intuition provides a connection to your core values, past experiences, and desires for the future that goes beyond data. One of my favorite examples of using my intuition to make a decision is how we came to live in Chapel Hill, NC. For two years, my husband and I had been looking to downsize our home in California. We considered several places both in and out of the state and just couldn’t decide. By chance (you can see how Luck Principles
often intertwine), I met a woman using the same energy healing technique that I use with clients, and we worked on a project together. She happened to be from Chapel Hill, where my husband and I had both gone to graduate school. The simple information of where she was from triggered our interest. We both just knew this was going to be the place for us. We already had a trip planned to the east coast, and we added a visit Chapel Hill (to collect data) to confirm our intuition. Within six months, we had sold our home in California and were settled in our new home in Chapel Hill. The best part about this story is that following our intuition and acting upon it quickly allowed us
to sell at almost the peak of the housing bubble in California. That bubble burst not long after we left. For tips on how to develop your intuition, check out my article “Romancing Your Inner Knowing” in the February issue of Eydis. 3. CREATE SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECIES BY DEVELOPING POSITIVE EXPECTATIONS This Luck Principle requires you to consciously consider what you expect or intend to happen, and also monitor your inner and outer conversations so they become a positive affirmation of what you really want. Clarify your intentions and expectations for your desired positive outcome, rather than focusing on the “what if things go wrong” aspects of a situation. This practice is aligned with the spiritual principle that says “What You Focus On Expands”. Recently, a client told me how she got a new office with a
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window. Tina was aware that a colleague was about to retire and leave his window office vacant. In her department, having a window office was related to some combination of seniority and longevity of service. She wrote an email acknowledging that she wasn’t sure where she stood in the hierarchy for the assignment of that office but requested to be considered. She moved in last week and is enjoying her view of a lovely garden area. We will never know if Tina would’ve gotten that office assignment if she hadn’t clearly expressed her desire to have it. However, by developing and expressing her positive intention and expectation, she did create a self-fulfilling prophecy that resulted in her wish coming true. It is important to ask for what you want and need that supports your positive expectations. When you make clear requests, it is much more likely for others to support you in having it actually happen. 4. TRANSFORM BAD LUCK INTO GOOD WITH A RESILIENT ATTITUDE Perception is reality. When you choose your perception of a situation, your choice determines your experience as lucky or unlucky. If you want to become luckier, develop your ability to recognize that even when things go wrong, there are always aspects that could have been so much worse.
Last summer, I flew to Detroit for a conference and rented a car. I was stopped at a traffic light within sight of the car rental place and was rear ended. The damage to the car was not minor. How would you respond to this ‘bad luck’? Would you get angry that your day was disrupted? Would you be really upset at how this would impact your insurance? Or, would you choose to think about how it could have been so much worse? Both my passenger and I felt lucky in the following ways: No one was injured. The driver who hit us pulled into the McDonald’s parking lot with us and did not drive away. The policeman arrived quickly. It only took only 90 minutes to deal with the accident paperwork, and then go back and get another car. They gave us another car! We still had time for lunch in Greek Town. If it is new for you to automatically look for the positive slant, begin by practicing with the small challenges of life. When the bigger problems arrive, it will be easier for you to choose to see the blessing in the mess. Besides, your stress and anxiety levels will drop. Who doesn’t want that? I agree with Professor Weisman that we create our own luck from the inside out, and we can learn to become luckier. I also go a step further. My belief is that there is also a loving Source energy that places wonderful
opportunities in our path. You may call it chance, but I believe there are no accidents. It is our job to allow for the opportunities to be real, notice when they show up, and then accept that support. Whether you already think you are lucky, or if you feel just the opposite, I have a challenge for you. During 4 weeks starting in March, intentionally focus on developing the four habits above. Notice if you start to feel luckier. You might even come across that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Wini Curley, Ph.D. is a Resilience Expert, Speaker, and Executive Coach. She shows leaders and their organizations how to energize their next win - whether they are on a roll or in a hole. In 2002, Wini became an entrepreneur and left a 20-year corporate career cleaning up environmental hazardous waste sites. Now, she helps clients clean up toxic habits, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that contaminate their path to success. Clients say Wini’s keen intuition, judgement-free approach, and energy techniques all help free them to release frustrations and blocks and accelerate toward what they really want. Wini has coached successful leaders and entrepreneurs across 3 continents. Clean up the toxicities big or small at the leadership level, and watch the business and its people grow and flourish. Learn more about Wini and her programs at www.WiniCurley.com and www.GiftsFromWini.com
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FOR MORE INFORMATION AND WAYS TO HELP GO TO 34 | Eydis Magazine STCLAIRBUTTERFLYFOUNDATION.ORG
C.H.A.N.G.E. Creating Hope and Awareness and Nurturing Growth through Empowerment The St. Clair Butterfly Foundation was founded to inspire a movement of C.H.A.N.G.E. by providing all children and youths with the tools to overcome any adversity and help them to realize their full potential to soar! Based in Oakland County Michigan, this nonprofit organization offers: Community Outreach Programs Creative Art Programs Scholarship Programs Legislative Initiatives Your donation goes directly to helping kids find their voice The St. Clair Butterfly Foundation has successfully helped to change laws in several states to better protect children.
Each year 1-in-4 girls and 1-in-6 boys are victims of abuse. Let’s help these children find their voice. Founded in 2007 by Chip and Lisa St. Clair, and based on his bestselling memoir, The Butterfly Garden, the St. Clair Butterfly Foundation utilizes the power of creative arts, literature, and overall well-being to impact the lives of children facing adversity. Listen to Chip and Lisa’s radio show: The Divine Frequency: Turning Your Passion Into Purpose Tuesday at 9:30 am Eastern Time on Empower Radio
Your donation gives the greatest gift to a child! 35 It shows that they are loved and that they deserveeydisauthenticliving.com to be heard.
by Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC
M
any professionals describe resilience as the ability of a child or individual to respond successfully to their life’s challenges. Do you know people who have faced repeated adversity yet live a happy, successful life? People who come to mind include Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel, Oprah (poverty and abuse) and child abuse survivor Dave Pelzer (author of A Child Called It). Resilience is an individual’s ability to cope with stress and adversity by bouncing back. Though often assumed to be a magic trait that you have or you don’t, it is now recognized as something that can be developed. Recognize that most of life’s hardships are temporary. When you can’t change something outside yourself, even a life-changing event can
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be viewed differently by changing your internal response to the event. Avoid catastrophizing. See situations for what they are. Byron Katie, founder of The Work, which is a method of self-inquiry, guides people through these four questions to confront their beliefs: 1. Is it true? 2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? 3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? 4. Who would you be without the thought? Resiliency allows you to interact with the environment that is present. Some family members try to protect loved ones from all
discomfort and hardship, but the goal is to learn to reduce your unproductive responses while developing a tolerance for what remains. Allow the uncomfortable emotions to be present with your other feelings. Don’t allow the “negative” emotion to overwhelm you into believing that it is the only one present. For instance, you can say, “I’m sad about this and I’m grateful for that.” Find your courage to be aware of and feel the emotion that you are avoiding. Eckhart Tolle, author of A New Earth, says to look at the pain as an opportunity to learn and problem solve. Tolle explains the
tendency to run away from uncomfortable feelings; he encourages people to develop the habit of moving toward the pain. You probably don’t realize that the process of running from your pain - avoidance, alcohol, excessive work, computer games, or OCD rituals - actually produces more problems than remaining still to look at what you are avoiding. These negative behaviors never really work and typically create their own harmful effects. The next time you have a desire to begin an avoidant behavior, take a breath and allow yourself to see what you nearly avoided. When you look at it for what it really is, it’s not nearly as frightening as what you thought and your accomplishment will feel great.
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THE FOLLOWING ARE APPROPRIATE FOR YOU OR YOUR CHILDREN: •
Develop your decision-making skills, assertiveness, independence, impulse control, and problemsolving.
•
Have a sense of humor. Laugh in the face of adversity by enjoying funny jokes and movies.
•
Improve your confidence by acknowledging what you are good at and valuing your self-worth.
•
Increase your coping resources such as nutrition, exercise, and meditation to reduce stress as well as increase resilience.
•
Share your troubles with friends and professionals for solutions, resources, and perspective.
•
Be grateful for what you do have and appreciate the simple things in life.
•
Take action, no matter how small.
•
Be of service to others. Happiness and wellbeing are enhanced when you engage in an act of kindness.
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Learn to go with the flow. I love the analogy of water flowing in a stream. When water encounters a rock, it doesn’t bang against it repeatedly screaming, “Why are you always in my way?” Instead, water flows around the rock. Resilient people expect to bounce back, and they also realize that they can often influence an outcome. Looking at life from a greater perspective is like looking at a tapestry. The back of that tapestry has knots and threads that represent the life that you live day to day. When looking at the front of the tapestry you can see the whole, the greater perspective. Trauma therapists recognize the impact of Adverse Childhood Effects (ACEs) on an individual’s ability to recover from a subsequent trauma, and recently the medical community has acknowledged the effect of ACEs on long-term health. Rather than seeing this as a sentence for negative consequences, recognize the importance to address your history and release these traumas. And know that ANY person (not just
the parents/caregivers) can become the stable person in that individual’s life, the one who provides the anchor and stability for them to rise above adversity. It was once believed that resiliency was something you had to be born with, that happiness came from good luck, and those individuals who lived through challenging circumstances and events were destined for additional life drama and a life seen through pessimistic eyes. Not true! Don’t focus on your risk factors; resiliency is based on your ability to bounce back. Develop yours now and live life and your dreams with optimism.
Judy Lipson is a licensed, professional counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit SpiralWisdom.net for more information.
This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.
Live your authentic life
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THE ETHICS TRAP UNFULFILLED PROMISES by Anna Pereira
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eople who have integrity, honesty and are authentic struggle internally when they can’t live up to their word. Almost as if they are challenging their own ethics. Reconciling promises they cannot keep or broken promises create great turmoil emotionally and sometimes physically. Perhaps it comes from a childhood memory and being let down by a parent’s promise or Santa not bringing us what we expected. Embedded in our mind, we have emotional memories attached to broken promises. We don’t want to be responsible for allowing someone else to feel as terribly as we had, through the experience of an unfulfilled promise. Also, the feelings of guilt and coming across as ‘unethical’ put us in a state where we make fear-based decisions and that causes great stress and anxiety. We want to represented by our morals, our honesty and stick to our word in living up to our promises. Likewise, we also expect this of others. In both scenarios, we are often disappointed. Throughout my entrepreneurial journey of owning a clothing line, jewelry collection and now the Founder of The Wellness Universe, I have had struggles of over- promising and underdelivering without ill intent, but still left an aftermath. Learning how to make promises and how to create realistic expectations
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gave me a great opportunity for self-growth and creating better relationships. Since I have personally implemented some of the following guidance, I have been satisfied with myself in delivering promises and what can be expected. I’ve learned some valuable lessons which I would like to share with you:
WHAT ARE YOU PROMISING YOURSELF OR OTHERS? When making promises to yourself or to others, keep them basic. Think of an apple. An apple has one ingredient, apple! Once you start adding other things to it, it changes and morphs and becomes harder to control. In establishing a promise, if you are getting too detailed on something that you are not sure that you can deliver, there will be greater opportunity for resentment and guilt. When looking at what you were trying
to promise someone, can you scale it back or dial it down? For example, if you promise to be there for a friend in need, maybe it’s by phone or allowing them to stay at your place. However, if you offer upfront your place to someone, you’ve committed to a deeper promise that you may not be able to keep, although in your heart you want to do anything you can for them. My business partner, Shari Alyse and I, have high integrity, and a very solid set of values. For example, we promise to offer what we are building to be a resource for people to find wellness and for the providers of these resources, our Wellness Universe World-Changer Members, to have a place to thrive and be in a community to network with otherworld changers. The products we create and offer back up these core ideas. As we put out each product to support those basic promises, our commitment to
the promise gets deeper and deeper, and our responsibilities get much more complicated and burdensome.
WHAT ARE THEY EXPECTING? We have all heard the phrase under promise and over deliver. So, what do you do when you’ve overpromised? How do you reconcile this with yourself and with anyone you’ve promised? One of the entrepreneurial and personal lessons that I lived through (many times) and have passed on to Shari, is sometimes our promises have not materialized as we had wanted and we had hoped for in our minds. In fact, explaining to her how we indeed are sticking to our word, almost became the basis of a few squabbles, as we have such integrity, to the point of being rigid about keeping our word and wanting to deliver exactly what we are focused on in the manner we believe will be the greatest thing for The Wellness Universe’s members, can sometimes create a lot of stress. In the beginning of our partnership, I needed to remind her that certain things are beyond our control, and as long as we are always being open, honest, transparent and doing our best, we are not being dishonest. If we continue on the path of finding creative solutions and workarounds, then we are meeting our promises in the best way we can, at that time.
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WHAT HAPPENS WHEN LIFE CHANGES? We must be reasonable with ourselves and allow the understanding that things change. We must accept ourselves and each decision along the way that didn’t allow the outcome we had hoped for. The acceptance of knowing that we did our best for the best possible result, and here’s the big one, forgiving ourselves and moving forward without guilt, this allows room for epic self-growth and helps you to move swiftly through the emotions and actions you need to take the next time a similar scenario is encountered. The other lesson is, we in our minds know what we wanted to deliver. Whether it be for a partner, a friend, a parent, a child, etc. In our minds, we desire to give them such a great gift or reward and sometimes we just can’t deliver that. Perhaps your financial situation has changed, your schedule has changed, things beyond your control have happened. However, they are unaware of what you were thinking in your own heart and mind of how you were planning to fulfill a promise to them. Maybe you couldn’t get them the Rolex, but you got them a lovely watch for their birthday. They will appreciate it just as much if they had no idea that in your mind you wanted to get them something much more exquisite.
HAVE YOU EXPECTED TOO MUCH AND FELT BETRAYED? As we expect so much from ourselves and want to deliver our promises and come from a place of honesty, we also expect this in return from others. I used to be very rigid when people promised me something or told me something. I clung to it and held on to them for face value of what was to be expected from what they said. It was black and white to me, no room for disappointment. Well, you can imagine where that left me! Feeling resentment, hurt, let down, unworthy of being given what was promised to me, untrusting of other people and angry. It made me judgmental of that person and left me in a very bad emotional space. No one wants to feel this way and I’m sure their intention was not malicious from the onset.
My personal evolution. In evaluating where I am now from where I have come and how I can forgive myself and forgive others without getting stressed out over the situations has come from experience. I realize it comes from a lot of self-development and confidence I have built within myself. I make better decisions and more realistic promises living from a love-based source and not a fear-based source, which has transformed my life. If you find that keeping promises causes you anxiety and fills you with guilt when you cannot fulfill them or you are filled with resentment and anger, feeling unworthy and disappointed when promises are broken, I believe some self-work needs to be done. To transform your life and attain the goals that you want to attain and have the life that you want to live, requires taking responsibility for self-growth. One-on-one coaching to help you become a better version of you, is a great way to transform and evolve. Reading articles like this, finding books and attending self-mastery webinars and conferences really help. You can also check outwww.TheWellnessUniverse. com for coaches in many areas. Truth be told, we can all improve who we are and highly successful and happy people don’t do it alone. They understand that life and business coaches are a necessity to see in themselves and realize greater potential and evolution. My hope is that this article has helped you and you see greater value in yourself and in others through detaching and allowing shifts and transformation to happen. You will certainly enjoy life more with less stress and anxiety. When you have forgiveness (for self and others) and love in your life, you experience peace, balance and harmony.
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huge lesson to learn. This resentment that is created when you put all your eggs into this person’s basket, can be carried for weeks, months, even years. It carries over into other relationships and holds you back from moving forward.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY EXPECTED TOO MUCH?
What I’ve learned is, if you’re dealing with someone that you know well, or that has ethics, is responsible and has shown you in the past that they are trustworthy, when a promise is made, allow open space, flexibility and no expectations to be there. Personally, I have found that as I’ve grown and developed into a more confident person who believes in myself, it allows me to set up a low expectation of someone else. That’s not a negative thing! I don’t take promises at face value until I see action. I believe in the person and their good intention, but I don’t put all my eggs into their basket anymore. This was a 44 | Eydis Magazine
Everyone at some point will encounter someone who expects much more from you than you ever promised or even anticipated to give. In this case, it’s a normal reaction to get defensive and even arrogant as you feel they have over-stepped. For example, let’s take the ‘being there for a friend’ example again, you may have offered to help your friend financially. In your mind, you mean helping with that week’s groceries or the electric bill, but since you have opened that door, they asked you for the mortgage payment, which is way out of the scope of what you can help them with. When this happens, take a step back and look at exactly what you told them, literally, and how they could’ve concluded what they expected. Typically, this is a miscommunication or the person is in such a place of
desperation, they are seeing you as the only source of salvation to offer them some relief. It never feels good to be under a personal attack when you had good intentions from the beginning and it’s a real emotional upheaval to move through such scenarios, even costing you the friendship. The way to handle this is to reach deep inside of you and tap into your truth. Address the matter, being clear, stating facts and assuring them that your intention was what it was and from an honest source. We cannot control how they respond after you have cleared the air. The best thing you can do for yourself is after you have once, twice and as many times as you feel you need to, present them with the facts surrounded in love, in the end you must release your attachment and feelings. You cannot change the circumstances or the environment that surrounds what they are going through and if you did your best, hold no resentment towards them and forgive yourself for perhaps not communicating clearly or any misunderstandings. I am a world changer. I needed a place to thrive and be with like hearted people who care about the world, so I created “The Wellness Universe”. Along with my co-founder, Shari Alyse, I invite you, who impact the world in a positive way, to join us. Visit www.TheWellnessUniverse.com, a platform and network in our community. We are building this for people like you and me.
Writers Wanted
info@eydisauthenticliving.com eydisauthenticliving.com 45
STORY OF A RECOVERING
PLEASER by Kate Sholonski
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or many years I suffered from a common human condition called pleasing. My dis-ease started benignly since it seemed normal and right to attempt to please all those with whom I had contact. However, after forty years, I finally caught on to the fact that my pleasing was actually a sickness since it didn’t feel good, was ineffective, created resentment and left me feeling like a victim. After a lot of soul-searching I learned that the source of my pleasing sickness was that my desire to serve was not fully coming from my heart, but more from a place of wanting to earn approval and even love. Being validated as a good, kind and lovable person was important to me. I’m not sure why I didn’t know that fully at the time, but for some reason, having proof was vital... hence my desire and subsequent actions to please. If I were to say “Yes” to a favor that added stress to my life, not only did it affect my mood, but my ability to show up and give my best was diminished. Although I liked to think of myself as being super-competent and able to spin ten plates, while juggling at the same time, plates eventually crashed and juggling my time caused commitments to be missed. Not because I didn’t care, but because trying to please everyone and following through was not only exhausting, it was impossible. It soon became clear that the guilt I felt when I said “No” was misplaced and did not serve anyone. This awareness caused me to take a closer look at what was really going on. Once I learned that only saying “Yes”
to the requests I could complete with joy, I began to practice saying “No” to all the rest. Surprisingly, it didn’t take long to strengthen my ability to quickly discern if the need being addressed was a match for me in the moment, or not. I am currently in my 20th year of recovery and have experienced great relief and freedom as a result of the absence of my pleasing addiction. I was grateful that I didn’t lose any friends (at least that I know of), my family still includes me in celebratory gatherings, my son grew up to be an independent and loving man and my husband is still happy he’s married to me. Since my recovery from chronic pleasing began, I have learned that the more I honor myself, the better I can serve others, which ironically is more pleasing for everyone.
Kate transitioned from a 28 year nursing career to life coaching and as a personal fulfillment workshop leader in 2001. After many years of coaching people from all walks of life, she and her business partner repeatedly heard requests from their clients to combine joy and fulfillment with leadership principles. It was that concept that led them to create their business, Triumph Leadership Group, where they focus on training teams from all sized businesses to build positive and productive cultures. Kate and her business partner, David Larson have co-authored two books, Wide Awake: Three Minutes a Day to an Inspired Life and Heartfelt Leadership: Creating a Culture of Connection. They believe when relationships don’t work, the business doesn’t work and that workers who share heartfelt connections will help business thrive on every level.
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Self-Growth
Connecting You With You
AWAKEN THE LION WITHIN YOU & PLANT YOUR SEEDS FOR NEW BEGINNINGS by Amanda Butler
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s we enter into the month of March … it’s like the lion awakening from his nap, yawning, stretching and surveying the scene around him, or as the bear peeks his nose out from his cave to see what’s going on after months of winter slumber. The energies of March give us a chance to awaken too. We are energetically supported to look around for ourselves and determine what new seeds we want to plant as spring arrives on the Spring Equinox. Spring Equinox is on March 20th at 3:29am PDT.
The Equinoxes are the seasonal times of balance and harmony, when the days and nights are equal in length. The Universe gives us a powerful time to create what we desire. It gives us a time to really commit to and focus upon what we want to accomplish. We can also review if we are in alignment with our Soul’s Essence and what is in our Divine Order and Highest Potential for our lives. We then see our buds bloom in the summer on Summer Solstice and harvest on Fall Equinox. March is a great time to dive into your subconscious to find out what energetic patterns, behaviors and actions block you from having what you want. No amount of written affirmations or claiming we believe we deserve and want something can manifest our desires, if underneath we really don’t energetically FEEL and KNOW that we CAN achieve it. It’s like a niggle and doubts that continuously says, “not so” or “no way will it ever happen for me”. eydisauthenticliving.com 51
In the moment, we decide certain plans of actions, choose our words (sometimes not so carefully or consciously) and can let our thoughts ramble on and gerbil around in our heads going round and round, while we may choose to wallow in our past, or be a victim to it.
Power
©2015 Keenawah & Associates, LLC
Power from The Diamond Co-Creative System™ The Universal Energy Form of Power from The Diamond Co-Creative System™ provides the energetic vibrations to help you activate your Soul Codes of Destiny and Success. This sacred geometry technology can help you access the energies of Power. It opens the doorway for you to tap into the Power within your Self so you feel empowered to create and manifest the life you desire. You become aligned with your Soul’s Essence and the Universe’s Highest Potential which is held for you.
One way to ascertain what’s going on for us (other than our results – grin!) is to look at the committee that lives within our subjective mind. This committee is made up our critics as well as our cheerleaders. It is the critic committee members who express and live in the subconscious which can block us in achieving what we desire, while our 52 | Eydis Magazine
cheerleader committee members who are the expression of our True selves and our Soul’s Essence which is free of the past and cheers us on to victory. It just depends on who has the louder voice (or the highest energetic vibration) which then dictates our thinking, feeling, behaviors, habits, actions and therefore our outcomes.
The critic committee members are driven by the subconscious and unconscious programming, and left up to their own devices, can run the show ... they become our ‘weeds’ which entangle our energies and limit us. If we’re not aware of them, or not living in the present moment of what we are co-creating within us and around us, we manifest by ‘default’ a life that’s not what we’ve envisioned. The cheerleader committee members believe in us. They are the ones who cheer us on even if the current ‘circumstances’ look dire, or are not what we want. They focus on the positive and gratitude of what we DO have, not what we don’t. Our cheerleaders help us experience the gifts in challenges or obstacles by seeing how we learn, heal and grow from them. They take fear and switch it from Finding Evidence that Appears Real to Focus Energies to Alter Results so we can achieve what we want. As we enter into the spring season, we have the opportunity to plant new seeds within our minds and hearts, consciously
and subconsciously. We literally can go to the root cause of our thoughts, beliefs, feelings and behaviors and change what we don’t like and enhance what we do like. We have a CHOICE to pull the ‘weeds’ out so our gardens can grow.
We can look at and identify … What is it within our minds that we tell ourselves? What is it that we believe we can or cannot do? What are we ‘vibing’ out and projecting out about who we are and, just importantly, who we are not? What is our life and results showing us? What subconscious pattern(s) is getting in our way?
NOW is your opportunity to … Plant a new seed of thought, word, feeling or action as to what it is that you would like to change, or enhance within your life. Create a new root system so that your seed may grow into the bud of the rose you Consciously Choose it to be. Pull out the ‘weeds’ of the past and within the subconscious that are choking the life and growth you desire. Envision and focus on the bud blooming into the beautiful rose and Diamond Brilliance that you Truly are! BE the Power that you are and claim your dreams and desires as True!
WHAT TO DO AND EXPLORE THIS MONTH Write in your journal and meditate daily. Ask for guidance in your meditations as well as in your dreams to reveal the answers to the specific questions you are asking. Mediation and dreams can bring you invaluable understanding and direction from the subconscious. Here are some questions to contemplate: ♦ What are the seeds that I want to plant? Invest the time to clearly identify and define them. ♦ Am I willing and committed to water and nurture them i.e., will I do what is necessary to have my seeds germinate?
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♦ What is blocking or limiting me in growing my seeds? Am I willing to do what it takes to eradicate my ‘weeds’ (obstacles and blocks) once and for all? ♦ Who and what are my critics and cheerleaders? -
Inside my head with thought forms, beliefs and perceptions
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Inside my heart and gut as to what I am feeling
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On the outside with my words and actions
♦ Who and what in my life reflects my critics and cheerleaders? ♦ Create a Committee Member inventory – see below.
THE COMMITTEE MEMBER INVENTORY List your inventory in writing. Carry around a notebook or your journal so when a committee member is talking to you in your head, jot down the thoughts and expressions of what the member says to you and how you feel. List if she/ he is a critic, or cheerleader, or maybe the member has another name, like judge, naysayer, or the believer, victor? In a quiet space, when you want to further explore and go more in depth with what you have received, ask the members to come forth and share with you the following: 1. Identify the committee member – ask them to share
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their name and/or image of who they are or what they look like. Are they a critic or a cheerleader? 2. Ask what their function is or job and why do they do it? What is their purpose? 3. Ask how he/she does their job. What are the phrases or chatter they speak to you about? 4. How does the committee member make you feel? What are the feelings they invoke within you? 5. What is the ‘payoff’ for you to continue to listen to the committee member? A payoff is something that you get by staying with the same behavior and action (even if it no longer serves you). An example of a behavior that no longer serves you is keeping drama in your life or living in the past. Your payoff could be seeking sympathy, attention or love. By complaining about it, you may get energized by the buzz of the drama. Or, if you focus on the drama or someone else’s problems, you don’t have to deal with the Truth or Reality of your own issues, or your part in how you co-create your life. 6. What does it cost you to continue to be and do the same thing that no longer works or serves you? This could be emotional wellbeing, health, financial, relationship or career issues, etc.
To assist you with this process, consider taking a journey with your Soul so it is easier to access, identify and resolve the underlying issues and your committee members. The journey also enables you to claim and focus on creating and manifesting your intentions and dreams. It accelerates your process and helps you to merge MORE and MORE with your Soul’s Essence, Purpose and Highest Potential! Check it out at: http://cocreateyoursuccess. com/28dayjourney/ BE the Lion or Lioness within, tap into your Power and Happy Planting!
Amanda Butler is the Architect of The Diamond Co-Creative System™ and since 2001 has assisted thousands to heal their present and past life energetics, while activating their Soul Codes of Destiny and Success, so they create an integration and vibrational alignment between their Soul’s Essence and personality/egoic Self. The results … they feel connected with their authentic Self, True purpose, passion, joy and love with the ability to fulfill their Highest Potential and live their MORE! For more about Amanda and The Diamond Co-Creative System ™, go to: http://cocreateyoursuccess. com/28dayjourney/ www.CoCreateYourSuccess.com https://www.facebook.com/ createyourdiamondlife
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A BUCKETFUL OF ‘WHAT IFS’! Welcome to the Throat Chakra by Sharon Carne
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n our evolution as spiritual beings, opening the heart allows us to access the energy of the throat chakra at a higher level. As you open your heart, you deepen your experience and perception of compassion. As you open your throat chakra, you open the VOICE of your heart and of your soul. 56 | Eydis Magazine
For the past few years, many people I have worked with or engaged in conversation are beginning to open their throat chakra and exploring some of the issues and opportunities for growth this presents to them.
It is also the home of some of our greatest fears. It is well known that the greatest fear most people have is speaking in front of others. Many of our ‘what ifs’ are rooted in this fear. And most importantly, it is the place of surrender from personal will to your higher purpose. Because it is the home of surrender, it is also the home of control. Quite a mouthful, isn’t it?
THE BUCKETFUL OF ‘WHAT IFS’ As I mentioned a moment ago, one of the greatest fears most people have is speaking (or performing) in front of others. It pushes major buttons like: What if I screw up? What will they think? I don’t want to make a fool of myself in front of others, so I just won’t do it. What if I say something they don’t like? I might get fired. God forbid if they know what I really think. And on and on it goes until the bucket overflows. Many of us have a bucketful of these what ifs. My journey with my own personal bucketful has brought some valuable experience. Teaching and performing the classical guitar has given me the opportunity to be in front of others for more than 40 years. Being a good organizer, I have also been asked to serve on the executive of a number of organizations throughout my life and that meant being in front of the group as their representative. You wouldn’t believe the number of times one or more of the what ifs in my bucket broadsided me with feelings of humiliation or failure. But even after feeling broadsided, something within me was driving me to get back up on stage or in front of the group and try again.
The throat chakra represents how you communicate your truth, your purpose and your integrity. This chakra demands that you take responsibility for your choices and the consequences of these choices. This includes understanding the consequences of your thoughts and beliefs.
The frustration and emotional rollercoaster FINALLY brought me to the point of surrender and I started to take a closer look at my bucket of what ifs. What you might call ‘my stubborn streak’ can really make me a slow learner, so I often end up with the ‘spiritual two by four.’ Avoidance sure wasn’t working. Where did all this stuff come from anyway? And what is it within me that kept making me get up to do this over and over again? eydisauthenticliving.com 57
Does this really serve me? Where does it come from? After a few years of observing myself and stirring up this bucket, I ended up staring at a bunch of negative thoughts that had been repeated so many times in my mind I was actually believing what they were telling me. So the next question I asked was: Is all this stuff really true? I also recognized that the inner drive sending me back up on stage over and over was my spiritual essence giving me a kick in the butt. Ok, so I am a slow learner.
And begin to live with higher purpose. This is the really important part! It certainly gave me a different perspective on my bucketful of what ifs. As I become more committed to understanding my purpose a lot of these old beliefs get examined with the following questions. And from a deeper understanding I choose to behave from a place that empowers what is really important to me. Encouraged by this, I learned to use my intent and will to take a good look at my fears, one by one.
Getting back up on stage kept the big fears right in my face. When I quit kicking and screaming and decided to face the fear with the intent of understanding its source, I was amazed at the crazy logic behind the fear.
And now, when I look deep into the eyes of the person in the mirror each morning, I recognize the amazing soul that lives in there.
EVOLVING BEYOND THE ‘WHAT IFS’
Sharon Carne is an author, speaker, musician, recording artist, sound healer, Reiki master, and consultant. Sharon is the founder of Sound Wellness, whose programs are at the forefront of education in how sound and music can be easily applied to your everyday life - to reduce stress, help you concentrate, energize you, inspire you, support your health and so much more. www.soundwellness.com
How could I have even considered that some of this drivel I was thinking was actually true? Choosing to take responsibility for your thinking is a huge step towards integrity. As you change your mind, you change your life! 58 | Eydis Magazine
Authors Page Feature Your Book info@eydisauthenticliving.com eydisauthenticliving.com eydisauthenticliving.com 59
Loss
LIFE AFTER
by Liberty Forrest Dear Liberty, My husband died a year and a half ago. It was sudden and terrible and I was left with an 11-yearold boy to raise on my own. There have been all kinds of other problems because of my husband’s death. Insurance battles and counseling for both my son and me and I’m trying to work full time at a very emotionally demanding job. I keep feeling like I want to move. I want to leave this area and maybe go somewhere new, or possibly go back to where we used to live before we
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moved here. The climate is better and I can garden there, which I really love. But my son has friends here and activities, and then, of course, there’s the idea of going through everything in this house to get rid of stuff and pack up. I can hardly stand to think about what to make for dinner most days; I am just so overwhelmed. Everywhere I look, I see my husband in this house. I wonder if I’d be happier somewhere else. I don’t know what to do. Signed, Grieving Widow
I think your signature answers your question. You are still grieving so of course you might feel like getting out of that house, away from the memories, and starting over somewhere else.
isn’t about wanting to get away from painful memories, and until you are absolutely 100% sure about one decision for a reasonable length of time. If you are frequently changing your mind, this is not a good time to make such a huge decision, especially when you might come to regret leaving the last home where you and your son lived with your husband.
But your memories will follow you. The pain of your loss will follow you, too. And there may come a time when the memories of him in your house will be comforting and make you smile far more than they remind you of your sadness.
I always recommend that when people aren’t sure what to do, they should do nothing until they are absolutely crystal clear about one decision that does not change for a while. And I recommend never doing anything that you can’t easily undo.
You are so undecided; you talk about going somewhere new, and about staying where you are, and about going back to where you used to live. And you mention being overwhelmed with even a simple dinner decision, much less the stress, upheaval, and work that would be involved in uprooting yourself anytime soon.
There will always be the opportunity to move, no matter where you are. Not moving is a decision that you can easily “undo.” But once you leave that house, you can never go back.
I would highly recommend that you stay put until things feel more stable until moving
Wishing you continued healing,
Dear Grieving, I’m so sorry to hear of your great loss and the challenges you’ve been facing since then.
Liberty Forrest is an award-winning inspirational author and Huffington Post contributor. For five years, she did frequent phone-ins on the BBC as a psychic/medium. With a background in social work and counselling, Liberty’s unique program uses a highly creative multifaceted approach to get people unstuck so that they can move forward in their personal and spiritual evolution.
One foot in front of the other; you will continue to adapt to this significant loss and in time, your life will feel more normal again.
Liberty
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Be the Light at the Beginning of the tunneL by Elaine M. Grohman
L
ight – what would we do without it? Without Light, we would easily be lost in our environments, in our thoughts, and in our actions. Without Light, we could easily limit our movements, limit our imaginations and limit our possibilities and potentials.
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Without Light – we could not survive. Light is essential. Lifegiving. Illuminating. Necessary. Time and again we are taught to seek answers outside of ourselves. We look for answers to come from our spouses, our bosses, our religious leaders
and others. We are taught to look for the proverbial, “Light at the end of the tunnel,� in hopes that things will get better and that in the future we will reach that illusive light. Yet the light remains at a distance. As we look to outside influences for the answers we seek, we
unwittingly divert our attention from the only place where change can really occur. Inside ourselves. There are so many phrases that are bandied about. We hear about enlightenment but think of it as a lofty goal reserved eydisauthenticliving.com 63
time. Happiness is active, collaborative, creative and joyful. Happiness allows for ideas to flow, and solutions to be found. Love – the Power of Love, is the invisible glue that helps us to express ourselves through the giving and receiving of the deep appreciation for Life. And finally - Action. Action is movement forward. Action helps to bring thoughtfully conceived ideas forward, which in turn is an expression of the creative Power of Love and the inevitable consequence is Happiness.
for holy people. One online dictionary refers to the term in two ways. One common meaning reflects the Buddhist and Hinduism concept of “enlightenment,” referring to, “A state in which the individual transcends desire and suffering and attains nirvana.” This definition is hard to come by for most of us. The second meaning of “enlightenment” refers to, “a philosophical movement of the 1700’s that emphasized the use of reason to scrutinize previously accepted doctrines and traditions and that brought about many humanitarian reforms.” We hear about “being spiritual,” but fail to comprehend that the meaning of the word spiritual is “pertaining to Spirit.” Since we are already Spirit in action through the vehicle of our human body, we can be nothing other than Spirit-ual. 64 | Eydis Magazine
It is our common human goal to do three things, as each and every one of us is born for the exact same purpose. We are here to be happy. Happiness is our most natural state, yet fear and anger are our common experiences. When we are happy we feel most alive, and fully aware of the amazing experience we call Life. We are here to be and to express the Love that we are. By this, I do not mean our limited comprehension of Love. Rather, I am referring to the Power that is inherent in all things, that which allows for the blossoming of all Life. We are meant to be expansive expressions of that Love. And lastly, we are here to take Action. Be Happy. Express and experience Love. And take Action. Now I am not saying that these three concepts are easy, but they are certainly worth your
Whenever you can, wherever you go, look around at all that Life has given. Allow happiness to flood into your awareness. As each day begins, embrace the creative Power of the Love that you are. Allow it to flow from you and to you, erasing any limiting beliefs that have prevented good, productive Action. This will make you Happy. This will make you Shine and will make small any clouded influence and will illuminate your path each step of the way forward. Be the Light at the beginning of the tunnel, and then the journey will be just fine, illuminated by the Happy Love that you carry forward.
Elaine Grohman is a speaker, author, energy healer and angel reader. She has a private practice in Farmington, MI. For appointments please contact Lainie Rubio at 248.320.6532 or visit her website at www.elainegrohman.com
Start Your Own Magazine In Your Local Area,
Eydis Authentic Living, It’s Not Only A Business,
It’s A Movement! I never could have imagined that by taking control of my life and starting my own business, it would turn out to be the most rewarding decision I have ever made, it has changed my life forever! It is the combination of faith, dedication and working smart, mixed with great passion and manifestation that I am here talking to you about this amazing opportunity. By owning my own magazine in my local area, it allowed me to showcase women leading the way in business, careers and family lifestyles, quickly positioning it as the who’s who for women’s empowerment, inspiration, local community awareness, and the most effective and sought after marketing tool. Eydis Authentic Living Magazine thrives on the incredible relationships created, making “YOU” a leader in the heart of your community.
FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT MARIASAVOY.COM eydisauthenticliving.com 65
The Butterfly Moment What is a “Butterfly Moment?” There is an incredible “HAPPENING” that occurs when a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. The caterpillar is encapsulated by a cocoon of its own making. It is imprisoned in a state of total immobility and darkness. Understandably, it must be a time of pain, panic and despair. However, as a certain life force of “allowing” takes over, this creature instinctively “lets go and lets God” an incredible transformation occurs. It is a transformation and struggle that is totally personal. Scientist tell us that if you help a caterpillar by cutting it out of the cocoon it will die because this struggle pushes life giving energy deep into its growing wings. In other words, “no pain…no gain.” As life energies slowly break loose the caterpillar from the cocoon, an incredible moment occurs. This caterpillar has a realization. It is a moment when it finally understands that all of this pain, panic and despair were for a reason. The caterpillar is not what it thought it was! It is one of the most beautiful insects in the world… that can fly!
Can you think of a more “AHA!” moment like this?
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Specialized Areas: • Personal Growth
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• Confidence & Personal Power To hear more Butterfly Moments from John and Carrie, listen to Empower Radio, Tuesdays at 9:00 Eastern Time. To find out more about Quantum Leap Coaching go to quantumleaptransformationalcoach.com or call 586.997.4357 10% of all proceeds are donated to the St Clair Butterfly Foundation where John sits as the Board President To find out more about the St Clair Butterfly Foundation visit stclairbutterflyfoundation.org
ME, MYSELFIE AND I by Laura Solomon
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M
aybe I’m vain. Maybe everyone is vain? But you must admit it, you love a good selfie. In my case, when I say ‘good,’ I mean that I took 32 selfies and only one was good enough to post on Facebook. The other 31 were not properly staged to eliminate my extra, unsightly eighty pounds, not properly angled to avoid my double chin and my head was not tipped at a correct angle to hide the crow’s feet and with my arm (draining blood) jetted out as far as possible to avoid a close up and with me contorted into an odd position while simultaneously appearing to be care-free, relaxed and super photogenic. Sadly, the photos that I delete actually depict my true size, shape, and appearance. Let’s be real, you all do this right? Do all your friends have to ‘approve’ their photo before you can post it? Do your friends and family grab your phone to see if ‘it’s a good one?’ Doesn’t everyone find fault in 31/32 photos of themselves? I understand that with today’s technology, it’s easy to be picky. After all, it’s a click of a button to change other people’s perceptions about how you look and it allows us to have control over the (even if completely staged) version of ourselves that we want other people to see. I admit I am a Facebook addict. That’s why this whole perception thing is of utmost importance to me. There, I said it. I love posting that one photo that is fantastic but that clearly looks nothing like me in person. In fact, I was at an event recently and a fantastic woman who evidently had no filter said, “Oh, you are Laura Solomon? You look terrible in real life.” I was horrified and said, “I guess I hadn’t considered that my Facebook picture varied that much from my real-life appearance but thank you for bringing it to my attention.” eydisauthenticliving.com 69
challenges that pale in comparison to what I went through with them. Last but not least, I’ve had many different careers which I loved and excelled at but my current position fulfills my purpose and is a culmination of my life experience, strength, and ability to inspire others. I’ve survived love and loss, life and death, and I realized that after all the good and bad… I am happy. Then I walked away and cried like the big, fat baby that I am. What I concluded in this nightmare of an interaction was that much of my self-worth is based on my social interaction with other people in person and online. Through selfies, I seek visual validation and superficial praise and ‘likes’ by people who only see the best of my 32 attempts at beauty which may or may not resemble me. Much of my unhappiness comes from this harsh and unrealistic judgment of myself. It’s the opposite of selflove. In fact, all of the things I say about myself that are negative or self-loathing are not things I would say to my best friends or maybe not even have the nerve to say to my arch enemy. Well, maybe my arch enemy. I’ve been judging myself for so long and so harshly that it just comes naturally. 70 | Eydis Magazine
So I ask you, what should a 54-year-old mother of seven look like? The bigger question is, why does it matter? Why? Because it’s easier to look on the outside than to define ourselves on the inside. I wouldn’t delete one experience I’ve ever had as I believe that each experience- no matter how good or bad- made me a better person. My first two marriages were excellent training for the successful, loving marriage that I have now. All of the challenges that I have had as a mother of seven children and a stepmother to two more made me stronger, smarter and more equip to help other parents. After raising nine children into adulthood and seeing how extraordinary they turned out, I am more resilient to everyday
While selfies capture the (contrived) moment, it can’t capture a lifetime of experiences or the wisdom I’ve gained during this first 54. So next time I take a selfie, I am going to see it with new eyes. I will (try to) ignore the overwhelming feelings of shame, vanity, and judgment. I won’t adjust the picture with thinify, concealer, contrast, color, filters, or cropping until it looks virtually nothing like me. I will also remember that a photo is only a reflection of the person I am on the outside. Because these good insides... you can’t capture that in a photo. Strike that pose Ladies, you are beautiful inside and out. Laura Solomon is a Opiate Detox Counselor and an Author of Normal Life, available on Amazon.
Lynn Darmon PSYCHIC MEDIUM REIKI PRACTITIONER Lynn is a Psychic Medium born with clairvoyant, clairaudient and precognitive abilities. She first became aware of this gift at age five. As she grew older her abilities developed, receiving messages from the Other Side, first from family members who’d passed and then messages from loved ones of people around her. Lynn describes this gift of guidance from Spirit as “Second Sight.” During a reading, Lynn will take you on a journey from your past where she will peek into your childhood, to the present and offer you channeled guidance from Spirit as you continue on your Spiritual Path into your future. Serving as a conduit between the Spirit World and this world, Lynn conveys messages from those who have passed with the intention of providing validation, healing and further guidance to their loved ones here. Most recently featured on
Lynn has been featured on ABC’s 20/20, The Huffington Post, AOL, Yahoo News, The Oakland Press, The Detroit Jewish News, Eydis Magazine, MY Magazine, Body, Mind, Spirit Radio, the Lisa Bousson Show, and has been featured in the recently published book, “Everyday Oracles,” by Ann Bolinger-McQuade.
31224 Mulfordton • Ste. D • Farmington Hills • 248.860.1121 www.heavenswhisper.net • lynn@heavenswhisper.net Facebook: Medium Lynn Darmon SERVICES PROVIDED: In person • By phone • E-mail • Skype
• In home
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MARCHING
FORWARD 2017 is now well on its way and the pipedream of the Future beyond New Year’s Eve is now our present as 2016 events are fully behind us now.
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by Gary Stuart
T
he big question is being as we March forward to meet our dreams and desires we intended to manifest this year? As you know it doesn’t happen by accident and proper steps are needed to arrive at whatever destination we choose. There are now 9 months left of this year! There is NO Time to Waste and the TIME is NOW to activate our manifested desires. Activation is the key, where do you want to “activate more? The most common topics women and men both seem to seek help with are these. •
Love & romance
•
Interpersonal relationships
•
Financial wellbeing
•
Experiencing physical health
How can you fully “Activate” in each listed area and manifest those desires into reality? I’ll just bet each one has its own volume of issues and barriers that make total sense to us. What if ACTIVATION is pushing our Luck? “Intention” is a very powerful force and it can be a double edge sword as well. What resists persists and everyone has the power to change your thoughts on a dime.“ eydisauthenticliving.com 73
CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! Let’s start here most thought transform into beliefs at some point along the way. Try to experiment and look at each area L. I. F. E. (see above) and write down what you BELIVE is the Problem.
“The energy of every problem has the solution hiding within it”
Common Problems connected to beliefs: •
I’ll never find love? There’s no one out there for me? All the good ones are taken.
•
I always connect to the wrong people. I’m a magnet for jerks and bad boys.
•
Money always eludes me. It avoids me like the plague.
•
There is always something feeling wrong with me. Everyone else has luck but me!
•
No one understands me. This is true since I was a child.
— Gary Stuart
All that is needed is a shift in focus or seeing the positive amidst the perceived negatives for things to change. Activation can be as simple as being OBJECTIVE rather than SUBJECTIVE. As you know this is what friends are for as they can see you stuck in your paper bag of beliefs more than you can and vice versa. To ACTIVATE and fully March> Forward> you can start by writing down some solutions for each problem. Better yet have a friend close to you answer your Negatives with their Positives for you to consider. They are outside your box and it can be fun to support and empower each other with an intimate shared experience of problem-solving too.
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Little do you know, it takes tremendous energy to stay stuck. The amount of force to stop movement is astronomical compared to going with the flow or directing the flow towards fulfillment. At the very least, letting go of the belief about the problem is a good place to start. This creates an opening or a crack in the egg or doorway to escape. RUN Forward!! We all have valid opinions from our past experiences and I’m not trying to take those away or deny their truth. What I am alerting you to is that “negative opinions turn into beliefs” that may not
be necessarily true? Therefore “beliefs” can be changed. They, of course, may have been true at a past point in time but do you have to drag the past experiences around like a ball and chain? No, this is why a SHIFT is needed to lighten your load and be more present and activated as you march forward into a new, vital self-created reality. It’s ALL here for you and it’s called the PRESENT! The Present is NOW and it’s a GIFT too! Lucky, you! See it was there all along but you didn’t PUSH your LUCK as I mentioned earlier. Now is the time and it starts with YOU!
You are the ONE you’ve been waiting for! Go for it - be surprised! Enjoy the process! LIVE!
Gratitude and acceptance for what was in the Past is the only way out! These attitudes will follow you and ACTIVATE you in the Present as you create the Future you’ve dreamed of. YOUR Future is yours for the taking! You’ve already earned it and certainly deserve it too!
If you “believe” there is Love, Money, Health and Happiness there will be. All intention starts inside before it manifests outside.
*Note to self, “HARNESS the UNIVERSE ASAP” Your NEW 2 DO List: INTENTION for CHANGE! •
Activate NOW!
•
Transform those Negative thoughts into Positive action.
•
Get some support and objectivity from a friend to help you ACTIVATE!
•
Leave the negatives from the Past back there (where they belong). March forward NOW!
Everything that has ever happened to you has served its purpose. Uncomfortable as it was its time has come and gone so it’s not needed anymore. Use the transformative power of “intention” for seemingly negative experiences
to catapult you into the positive life that you so desire to be true. If you doubt me in any way look at OPRAH WINFREY’S LIFESTORY! If you don’t initiate ACTIVATION, then who will? Some say there are no victims only volunteers. Speaker, Author, Constellation Facilitator, Teacher has been documenting his healing experiences over the past several decades. As a young student of Primal Therapy and Shamanism, his insightful writings provide a unique perspective on the correlation between the micro and macrocosmos, between our inner and outer worlds. His first book on Constellations Many Hearts, One Soul set the stage for his latest book Master Your Universe: How to Direct & Star in Your Own Life on Kindle or paperback at www.Amazon.com He leads healing workshops and trains nationally and internationally and resides in Los Angeles. Distance Family or Organizational Constellations are his healing specialty! He’s coming back to Detroit in August 2017 to WOW again! Give a GIFT that keeps on giving - CHANGE. Constellation Healing GIFT CERTIFICATES plus packages available. His FREE Consultation: www. testyourhappiness.com and online www.ConstellationsWithGaryStuart.com
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SIMPLY Spiritual
THE DREAM EXPERTS
What Does Your Dream Mean? by Kathryn and Patrick Andries
Dear Dream Expert,
Dear House Guest,
I dreamed that I am at this lady’s house. She invited me to stay there. One day she had an open house, so I started doing readings for people. Within the next couple of days, I was supposed to teach a spiritual class. I needed to get people to sign up for the class. I was also thinking that I needed to have a place to teach. I didn’t know if I should bother this lady to use her home.
When we dream of other people we are dreaming of a part of our personality. See if you can identify one or two qualities of this lady with whom you are staying. Her home represents how you are viewing your mind at this time. One note is that the house you are staying in is not your own. A class is where you share information for learning. Since the people signing up represent you, you are making something that you know a part of your larger self. You haven’t worked all of this out yet, but it is in progress.
Sincerely, House Guest
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Dear Dream Expert,
Dear Dream Expert,
I dreamed that I entered a wheelchair race. I go to this little town and get on this chair with wheels and start rolling down the street. Then this man is rolling in his chair next to me and starts bothering me, so I stop at this house that is having a garage sale. I tell this lady about the man bothering me and ask her if I should call the police. She says yes and gives me the phone number. I dial it on my cell phone, but I cannot get through. She calls the police on her phone.
In my dream, I had a hang glider. I was in it and lifted off of the ground and was flying around. I was flying low. I was with a friend of mine and she needed me to take her to the train station. I was driving her to the train station. She mentioned that her ex-husband wanted to have sex with her and that she was thinking about doing it. I was thinking, “I wonder why she is giving in to him and having sex with him?” Sincerely, Flying Friend
Sincerely, Wheelchair Racer Dear Flying Friend, Dear Wheelchair Racer, A wheelchair is a type of vehicle, so it represents a way of looking at your physical body. One note here is that it is somewhat limited in what it can do as a vehicle. If you do not have a physical limitation it may represent some way that you feel limited physically or otherwise. The man who is bothering you is an aspect of your aggressive energy. This is the quality of going after what you want. If you are feeling limited in your life this urge to “go for it” may be upsetting. When you stopped at the garage sale you dropped out of the race. This means you are pausing in your forward motion toward some goal that you have. Also, you are turning within to your inner authority to seek help with this inner drive to achieve (the man).
A flying dream is usually pleasant because it indicates freedom in our thinking. The hang glider represents the physical body. You are not flying very high, so there is a sense of some freedom to create what you want in your life, but it is somewhat limited. Describe your friend in one or two words to understand more about this receptive energy aspect of yourself. Receptive thinking is drawing what you want to you. To understand receptivity think of a store manager that sets everything up in the store makes sure the store is clean and has attractive signs to draw people in to buy things. A train is an organization. It leads you somewhere you want to go. Sex is harmony and creation, but this sex is happening between two people who are divorced, so there is no commitment between these two parts of yourself to create. We need a balance of aggressive and receptive energies in our lives to create.
Kathryn and Patrick Andries are the dream experts. They are the authors of the recently released book from Ozark Mountain Publishing, Naked in Public: Dream Symbols Revealed, and The Dream Doctor. If you would like a dream interpreted, please send it in the body of an e-mail to: intuitiveschool@sbcglobal.net. Learn more about their books at www.ozarkmt.com.
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Talk to Tamara Tamara, the relationship whisperer, is like a walking instruction manual for all of your love, dating. and relationship questions. Ask her your burning questions and she’ll guide you in the direction that is right for you. To ask your questions go to eydisauthenticliving.com’s home page and click on Tamara’s picture, under our “Let’s Talk” section.
by Tamara Green
“As you visualize, so it becomes.” – Tamara Green, LCSW
Dear Tamara I have an intention that this is the year I’ll be in a great relationship. But quite frankly, I believe it to be more of a fantasy than a future reality. In fact, I doubt it because my dating and relationship experience has been dismal. However, I’m really good about doing my homework, so I say my affirmation statement every day. But I think I’m doing something wrong. Can you give me some advice on how to turn my intention into a real live relationship with a great guy? Signed, Doubtful Dear Doubtful, There is a surefire way to make your affirmation work for you. Turn your intention into a powerful visualization. You’re already fantasizing about being with a great guy, which means that you have tapped into the tool that can help you actualize this in real life. Visualization, the kind that involves imagining success in love, has long been employed by professional athletes to create amazing results. Research shows that many professions are using the tools of visualization quite effectively: surgeons use it to possess laser focus; musicians use it to improve their performance; and, business executives use it to ace a presentation. Many use it to stay on their diets to lose weight. You too, you can use visualization to call in your beloved and to experience the relationship you’ve always dreamed of - even before he physically shows up.
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HOW VISUALIZATION WORKS
Your brain believes what you imagine. Brain science reveals that you experience real-world and imaginary actions in similar ways. For example, whether you are acing an event or only picturing it, you activate many of the same neural networks and pathways of nerve cells that link your body to the brain impulses that control it. What’s on your mind screen stimulates the sympathetic nervous system, which activates an increase in heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure. Just by envisioning a movement, such as holding hands with your partner-to-be, elicits nervous-system responses of that same action. The more you envision, the more you’re able to activate your emotions that match the desired
scene of your mind screen. The more detailed the visualizations with your beloved become, the faster you can achieve what you desire. This is because you are creating new neuropathways in your brain. Plus, your nervous system reaps the benefits: increase in calm and confidence and decrease in heart rate and stress hormones. Want free relationship advice right away? Take advantage of Tamara’s free 45-minute guidance session where you will finally get clarity and relief from your dating or relationship struggles. Whether you are single or are experiencing relationship upset, by clicking here, you no longer have to figure this out alone anymore. Yay!
Elle Magazine dubs Tamara Green, LCSW “The Soul-centered Love Expert.” She is an author, speaker and trainer, helping thousands of people to navigate the waters of love, dating and relationships – all while falling madly in love with themselves in the process. Trained as a Love Mentor® by Dr. Diana Kirschner, Individual and Couples Psychotherapist, Meditation Practitioner and Hypnotherapist, Tamara’s coaching is highly effective as she combines her many years of professional training with her gifts as an energy healer, intuitive and seer. As a result, Tamara creates an exciting catalyst for deep emotional healing, giving her clients greater success in life and love. She has devoted her life to helping women rise out of pain and fear so they can finally experience the long lasting and loving relationship of their dreams. As well as working 1-on-1, Tamara offers free weekly meditation audios that take you on a journey of love with ease and joy. Join Tamara’s community at tamaragreen.me; Facebook facebook.com TGreenLoveExpert; youtube: youtube.com/channel/ UC9MqTnZEJYNEpKnwrjsZ40A
Three Simple Steps To Turn Fantasy Into Reality 1. Visualize with detail: Go ahead and imagine yourself holding hands with your beloved as if it’s happening right now. (Important note: I do not recommend that you have a particular man in mind because the Universe may have someone much better that’s intended just for you.) Imagine that you are watching you in your own movie where you are the star. In your mind, create the scene or interaction of you with your beloved. Let all your senses come alive. What are you feeling, hearing, smelling, tasting and touching in this beautiful scene? Are you walking hand-in-hand on a gorgeous beach while on vacation together? Are you both in a kitchen making dinner and laughing hysterically? Maybe it’s a quiet scene where both of you are cuddled up on the couch reading books. Allow yourself to feel happy and giddy with excitement. These emotions activate your nervous system in a wonderfully positive way. 2. Visualize often: Deeply surrender into this imagination, sensing and feeling it all. It feels good, right? To make your visualizations extra powerful, it’s important to create a momentum. This means doing it for at least 2 minutes every day. Eventually, add in more detail each time and increase your imagination play for up to 5 minutes per day. Smile and bask in the feelings of joy, excitement, and peace. Sense the deep love and adoration you feel for your partnerto-be. Allow yourself to feel how grateful he is to have you and your love in his life. He is one fortunate man!! 3. Commit completely: Make a pledge that you will never stop your visualizations until the One shows up in the flesh. This is a commitment that you are making to yourself so don’t give up.
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Write For Eydis Authentic Living Magazine
“The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe.” 82 | Eydis Magazine
–Gustave Haubert
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What the DeaD have taught Me about Living WeLL Psychic medium and bestselling author Rebecca Rosen reveals how to tap into the spirit world to help traverse the rocky road of real-life relationships
by Carolyn Krieger-Cohen
W
e are all connected, in this world and in the next. We each crave connecting with others physically, emotionally, romantically and spiritually, depending upon the specific relationship and the soul-agreement we have with the individuals who are divinely part of our lives. But as everyone knows, relationships are rarely easy. In
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fact, they are often downright difficult, even devastating. Growing our souls is hard work accompanied by heartache, fear, and deep introspection as well as joy, delight, and those spine-tingling ‘aha’ moments. A mixed bag of emotions, for sure. In Rebecca Rosen’s new book, What the Dead Have Taught Me About Living Well
(February 14; $24.99; 978-162336-781-7), the acclaimed psychic medium candidly addresses relationship realities that affect everyone, including her. Rebecca shares how she receives guidance and support from beyond throughout her day, and shows readers how to bring the bigger picture of life into focus to gain clarity, confirmation and ultimately, acceptance and peace.
In the following excerpt, Rebecca opens up about her own divorce, and why fully embracing the profound pain of a breakup can lead to miraculous, real-life relationship breakthroughs. Excerpt: from Chapter 2:
Labor of Love Throughout our many years together, I referred to Brian publicly as my soul mate and
credited my dead grandmother for bringing us together in this lifetime. She predicted our union from beyond, and I used to say that Brian was her gift to me, my reward for having the courage and the heart to follow my own path, to be “me” no matter what. When we divorced in 2012, I understood why many of my friends, family, and clients were shocked. Given how I’d framed our relationship as divinely orchestrated for so
many years, I appreciated that our parting would be confusing. It seemed as if some people questioned the accuracy of the guidance I’d received. I wasn’t surprised when people wondered, “If Brian is your ‘soul mate,’ why would you split up?” Fair enough. The answer is that Brian was and still is my soul mate. What spirits
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have shown me again and again is that most of us have more than one soul mate in our lifetime. At different points, we attract certain partners, friends, and allies into our life experience or are drawn to others whom we feel a deep closeness and connection with, based on what we need emotionally, physically, philosophically, and more importantly, spiritually, at that time. On a deep level, our soul mates serve to help us learn important life lessons and to spiritually grow—and in most cases, our time together with a soul mate was predestined. It was meant to be, in other words, even when the relationship involves conflict or eventually ends in separation. Spirits have clairvoyantly relayed this to me by showing me a cast of characters that come and go throughout our life movie. Some stay until the end, some reappear throughout, and others are only in one scene. But for however long they join you, they play a significant role. I won’t forget a concerned e-mail I received after publicly announcing my divorce: “The vow of a marriage is for a lifetime. What do the dead have to say about breaking that sacred commitment?” 86 | Eydis Magazine
My mind definitely went there, when Brian and I were deciding to end our marriage. We’d struggled for many years to save it. But after spending countless hours in counseling resisting, denying, trying to control and make our relationship fit, finally my intuitive, higher guidance overruled my mind’s interpretation of failure. It said, “You haven’t failed. It’s simply time to let go and move on. Trust that you will both heal. Have faith in what comes next.”
What the departed have helped me understand is that every marriage and relationship we have holds significance, and yet sometimes they must end to propel us forward in life. Seen through a spiritual lens, endings are actually new beginnings that are often beneficial to both people, if not immediately then over time. But I understand just as well as anyone who has gone through a difficult breakup or divorce how natural it is to equate endings with failure.
In readings, spirits counsel their living loved ones to allow all of life, including our closest relationships, to flow and evolve. To change into what comes next. Brian and I spent many wonderful years helping one another grow. He came into my life when I was learning to develop my connection with the Other Side, and he wholeheartedly supported and believed in me. His encouragement gave me the courage I needed to come out of the shadows and practice my gift openly. In many respects, I credit him for jump-starting my life’s work. I similarly helped to empower him by encouraging his natural talents and strengths. But then, over the years, Brian’s needs changed and so did mine, and in order to get what we
each most wished for, it became clear that we had to end our relationship and start again. As hard as it was to face this truth, we knew it was the right guidance. We explained to our boys, “Mommy’s and Daddy’s paths are going in different directions, but we’ll always be a family.” Sometimes couples are able to change and grow within the partnership or the marriage, but in other cases, this simply isn’t possible because one or both has moved on to a different way of thinking or being. This is especially true when one, or both, of the partners stagnates or becomes depressed or resentful of the other person. This is when a relationship needs to shift, sometimes dramatically. Still, a split, separation, or breakup doesn’t discount the time you spent together or what you learned from each other to grow in this lifetime. This truth applies to all our relationships. Think of a person who was important in your life, but where you hit a point when you felt like you had to pause, move past or away from them in order to get to your next step. This distance likely made room for that friend, colleague, or mentor to connect with someone else, or themselves, in order for them to get to their next important step in their lives. Though ending a marriage can be far more complicated, energetically it is the same: a deeply important relationship with someone to whom you owe a duty of respect and love and loyalty, and that includes the duty
of not holding one another back from moving forward. In my experience, this only works if you mutually make the decision to end things respectfully. Respect comes in the form of putting your hurt feelings aside and doing what you believe is in the best interest for both you and your partner. Not only is this respectful, but it’s an act of generosity. This is what Brian and I worked to do for one another, and our relationship and our family are better for it. I have this clarity now, and yet the day we decided to end our marriage, I was terrified we were making a huge mistake. Even when you know you’re doing the right thing, fear has a way of making you think you’re doing the wrong thing. My lingering doubts were accompanied by feelings of empathy for Brian. My clairsentience kicked in big-time; I could deeply feel Brian’s pain and sadness, and I carried the weight of both his and my grief. That’s when Spirit stepped in to help strengthen our decision. When we stay in relationships and situations out of obligation, guilt, or fear of change or feelings of loss, our departed loved ones and guides will often intervene. They may influence your thoughts, inspire you to make a change, or show you “signs” that point you in a new direction. If you look the other way or dismiss or try and hide from their guidance, then they may turn up the dial on your uncomfortable feelings until you can no longer ignore them.
Toward the end of my marriage to Brian, I struggled with my own intuition and guidance— what I knew in my gut and my heart—for fear of sabotaging my relationship or of being alone. I know that Brian also experienced his own version of a “block,” and eventually we both recognized that we had to step away from our fear and turn toward the truth. Following your heart can be costly, but it can set you free, and I believe that freedom is always worth the high price.
Reprinted from What The Dead Have Taught Me About Living Well by Rebecca Rosen. Copyright (c) 2017 by Rebecca Rosen Enterprises. By permission of Rodale Books. Available wherever books are sold. For more information about Rebecca, her books, private and group readings, and more, visit http://rebeccarosen.com/. Carolyn KriegerCohen is the founder of CKC Agency, a highly respected public relations and marketing services firm in Michigan that excels at strategically collaborating with clients to showcase their businesses, build their brands and achieve their goals. Her reputation, integrity and creativity as a public relations powerhouse are the foundation upon which CKC Agency has been built for over 30 years She is a sought-after source and sounding board for clients, corporate leaders, media outlets, and industry professionals alike. eydisauthenticliving.com 87
ASK THE LIFE COACH
MIRACULOUS LIVING by John Schalter
“The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Dear John,
A friend of mine told me you are now coaching and teaching a new platform. What it all about?
Mary S
Dear Beth Thank you for the question! I am very excited about a new program I am developing called “Miraculous Living.” Here it is. Belief in Miracles is nothing new. Overall, some four out of five Americans believe miracles definitely or probably occur. However, the big challenge is changing a “Belief in Miracles” into the “Experience of Miracles” in our lives on a regular basis. It is something I call “Miraculous Living.”
Miracles are natural. When they do not occur, something has gone wrong. —‚A Course in Miracles Miraculous Living is more than just a phrase. It is an intention, an expectation…a way of looking at the world. It raises the bar to a new level of life experience. It can also be a new way of solving life’s problems. Just embracing this one idea can dramatically change your thinking and change your life. It was Einstein that said, “There are two ways of looking at the world. One is that nothing is a miracle and the other is that everything is a miracle.” The effect of this one idea has been amazing. It allows you to look at all the events in your life through a new filter or lenses. and say, “Okay, where is the miracle in this?” And what you search for you inevitably find. And so your goal each day is to identify and appreciate everything for what it really is. It works great with a partner. My wife Carrie and I have fun labeling everything in this way… from
a good meal to a spectacular sunrise over the ocean. It’s all Miraculous! Last week I was at the airport and ready to board. I suddenly realized that I no longer had my laptop bag with me. I had left it at the car rental lot. I took a deep breath and then said to myself, “Okay how would someone committed to Miraculous Living handle this? Where’s the miracle?” I smiled, jumped in a cab and took off for the rental car lot. Things seem to fall into place like magic. I got my bag and was back at our plane with loads of time to spare. A moment of panic turned into a fun adventure because I looked for the miracle. And that’s what I found. I have to admit. My first thoughts were filled with fear and frustration. “What if someone stole my laptop? It is irreplaceable. All of my writing could be gone!” However, this conscious choice, this shift of perception to Miraculous Living made all the difference. Try it for yourself and let me know how it goes! Raise the bar. Look for the Miracle! And that is what you will find! And as we all step into the ever-present challenges in our lives, let us remember, “We are all too blessed to be stressed.” See you in the next publication. Until then… Peace and Blessings, John John Schalter is a Life Coach, Practicing Attorney (36 years) and Professional Screenwriter. He is also a musician, songwriter, and artist. He does private coaching but limits his client numbers to 10. If you would like to discuss coaching further and/or get on the waiting list call him at 586-997 HELP (5357). The first consultation is always free! eydisauthenticliving.com 89
COULD IT BE A BLESSING IN
DISGUISE? by Janette Stuart
Y
ou know the feeling. You just missed your train and now you’ll be late to the office and today is such an important day. Another red light? Now, you are certain to be late. You sprained your ankle and now that trip will need to be postponed. You didn’t get that “dream job” after all the effort you put into interviewing for it. That person you enjoyed 90 | Eydis Magazine
a date with never contacted you again. These frustrations in life can be very aggravating, but what if they really are blessings in disguise? A blessing in disguise is something that, on the surface, seems to frustrate, disappoint, inconvenience or perturb us. It seems like the end of the world at the time, yet, in retrospect, it
turns out to be an amazing gift. What if by missing your train you were not involved in a workplace violence incident? What if that red light stopped you from being in a car accident? What if that sprained ankle caused you to reconsider the trajectory of your life? What if that “dream job” would have been a nightmare for you? What
if that perfect guy/gal turned out to be the worst possible match for you? Wouldn’t those scenarios qualify as blessings in disguise? The answer is yes. They would be blessings in disguise. Many survivors from the World Trade Center events on September 11, 2001, talk about being delayed, having a sick child, missing their connections… which, indeed, saved their lives that day and were their blessings in disguise. Here’re some thoughts to consider the next time a blessing in disguise occurs: 1. Use the time to count your blessings. 2. Reframe the situation. Instead of thinking, “Oh great. Now I’ll be late”, a reframed thought could be “Here’s my chance to send that text, email, call a loved one that I’ve been meaning to contact.” 3. Ponder what the blessing in disguise truly is for you.
4. Think back on some past instances where inconveniences truly were blessings in disguise. 5. Consider whether this inconvenience will matter in five minutes, five days, or five years. Doing so will help put the matter in perspective. I believe we all have a heavenly support team watching over us always; part of a benevolent Universe, which conspires, in our favor. We all have at least two guardian angels with us our entire life. They have loved us since before we were born. They are pure, unconditional love. They can help us see our blessing in disguise. If you’d like to find out more about your angels or are interested in an angel card reading please visit http://bit.ly/ angelreadinginfo. Here’s to you as you navigate your blessing in disguise, dear one.
I’m Janette Stuart, Founder of Angel Angles which is my labor of love. I have wanted to express my soul’s work in a more visible way and am now devoting more time to Angel Angles since my retirement in 2015. Angel Angles exists to spread more love, joy and peace into the world. I have always loved to write, I write every day. I write longhand in several different journals as well as type electronically. I have always loved handwriting, the sending of cards and notes, the keeping of a journal or diary. My first book, “On a Path of Joy” will be available in September. I am thrilled. My hope is that the book will help the reader develop or enhance their relationship with their Creator. I am a grateful member of and core blogger for The Wellness Universe. The Wellness Universe is an evolutionary community of members who are positively impacting the world in one or more of the 7 areas of wellness. As a lifelong empath, I have experienced people’s feelings deeply. I have a deep compassion for my fellow man and love deeply. I choose to live a joy filled life each day and hope to help others do the same. Joy is my focus word for 2016. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area with my husband of 33 years, Mark, and our rescue boxer dog, Spike. We have a grown son, Max, who is happily serving in the Coast Guard. I am a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, neighbor as well as an angelic practitioner. Besides writing, I am a lifelong learner, who reads daily, I also enjoy walking in nature, sky watching, cooking, RVing along the California Coast and visiting with friends and family. Some of my most requested recipes are Asian Chicken Salad and Sticky Toffee Pudding.
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Wealth Consciousness
Manifest your destiny
THE POWER AND INFLUENCE WE HAVE AS WOMEN
HOW TO INCREASE YOURS by Pam Thompson
H
ave you ever thought about the power and influence you have? I’m not talking about being the CEO of a company of 1000 employees, or a highly paid and sought after speaker, or best-selling author, although you may be. I’m talking about you as a mother, partner, sister, daughter, friend, colleague ... In your 94 | Eydis Magazine
day-to-day life, you interact with a number of people, and you have the power to influence them in positive ways. Can you recall being in the presence of someone who really makes you feel like you’re important, that you’re being listened to and truly heard? What qualities make
this person memorable? Do they look into your eyes, appear grounded and have their attention truly focused on you? Do they act genuinely concerned about your wellbeing? Are they truly responsive to what you have to say? Do they speak from their heart? When we interact with
others from a place of being grounded and from a place of compassion and inner peace, rather than thinking about the next thing on our “to do list” or reacting to something someone says, it affects the quality of our relationships and how people “feel” around us. It also affects how open they are to our ideas.
How You Can Increase Your Power and Influence Here are some “tried and true” strategies: Strengthen your relationship with yourself A good place to start is to identify your unique strengths, talents, and passions.
1. Draw a chart with two columns. In the first column, write down all the things that you are good at, or things that come easily and naturally to you. They could be things such as, athletics, mathematics, writing, whatever you feel fits. 2. In the second column, write eydisauthenticliving.com 95
down the things you enjoy doing. They could include being in nature, teaching others, using your body, playing piano... If you feel challenged by this, think back to what you enjoyed doing as a child. 3. Now look at both lists and circle the items that are similar or identical. Then review the circled items. Go inside and get in touch with the feeling each one evokes inside you. Does it excite you? Does it have little or no effect on you? Rate each item on a scale from 1 to 10 according to the level of passion you have around it (1 being “no interest at all” and 10 being “red hot”). I encourage you to do this from your body rather than your head. When you take the time to “unearth” your unique strengths, talents and what
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you’re passionate about, you better understand why working and being with certain types of people and organizations light you up and others don’t. Then you can take steps to change your life so that you are working or involved with people, causes and organizations that “light you up”. You also inspire others with your passion. “Do less” and “Be more” When we are constantly “on the move”, with packed schedules and little if any “down time”, our minds are always active and thinking of the next thing on our “to do” list instead of truly being present and focusing on the person we are speaking with. Even if someone isn’t consciously aware that we aren’t focusing on them, their subconscious knows. It’s important that we create space in our days to “be”. Suggestions to help you to slow down and become more present include: spending time
in nature, doing yoga, taking the time to stretch and/or to meditate upon awakening instead of hitting the ground running, journaling regularly, listening to music you love and moving your body to it. Give and Receive in a more balanced way Many of us are socialized from a young age that it is important to give to others and to put ourselves at the bottom of the list. We are often made to feel guilty or selfish if we “give” to ourselves. Selfcare is a “must”. We all need time to nurture our bodies, to relax and let go of the stresses in our lives. When we constantly give to others without giving to ourselves, we may become resentful and SOoo tired. When we are constantly “giving” and “doing”, our body is always in fight, flight or freeze mode and the stress hormones it pumps out eventually lead to burnout, adrenal fatigue, cancer or other chronic illnesses. If we
want to positively influence those around us, it is important for us to look after ourselves and regularly take time for that bubble bath, walk in nature, lunch with a friend … . Improve your relationships with others When you take time for yourself and are aware of how you interact with others, you can be present in your conversations, come to them with an open mind, and from a place of understanding rather than judgment.
MAKING A DIFFERENCE
I believe that we all want to make a positive difference in the world. It may be on a smaller or larger scale. What are you truly passionate about? What problem do you want to solve and for whom? Perhaps it’s the communication challenges you’re having with your teenage daughter or the frustration with a work colleague. It may be an issue you feel passionate about such as water conservation or climate change. Mine is building peace in the world. Many of us have some fear around creating and effecting change, particularly when it comes to the bigger issues. By joining with like-minded souls, we become energized and are able to create movements that on our own are not possible. I love Margaret Mead’s often cited quote: “Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.” Here’s to YOU and to making a positive difference in the world! Pamela Thompson, BN, MSc. is a certified life & business coach, keynote speaker, facilitator, global health & management consultant, & author of the #1 Best Selling book “Learning to Dance with Life: A Guide for High Achieving Women”. She has a diverse background and experience as a nurse, university professor, project manager and consultant in 5 continents. Pam is passionate about supporting women to thrive in life and in business, and speaks and writes about balanced and mindful leadership. She is President of Creative Life Coaching - creativelivingcommunity.com Personal Facebook: www.facebook.com/pamela.thompson.52831 Business Facebook: www.facebook.com/CreativeLivingCommunity LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/pamthompson2009 Twitter: twitter.com/WomensCoachPam
Sacred Circles We are all women Connected through the ages. From hunters and gatherers To queens and ladies-in-waiting. Despite our different origins and surroundings, We all endure similar pain, anxiety, and joy. Nurturing is what we’re known for. Caring for the sick, the wounded, the children, Tireless in our cause, to improve the lot of humankind. Sitting in a circle with others, hands clasped, I feel the energy of powerful women throughout the ages. I feel their warm blood pulsing through my veins. The time has come to right the wrongs. The time has come for women to unite And be catalysts for peace. No longer can our voices be hushed. The time for action has come. Our feminine qualities of intuition, warmth, and sensitivity Enable us to intervene in areas of conflict, To lead the way towards our vision of a nurturing and caring world, A world with love, land, and opportunity For everyone. Women in sacred circles have for centuries felt the energy and Interconnection among themselves. Now, more than ever, we need the courage to rise up, To take action towards making the world a better place For our families, friends, neighbors, And future generations. Will you accept the challenge? –P. Thompson, October 27, 2000
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Healthy Living
De-Stress
SO IT DOESN’T FEEL LIKE WORK by Carol Benson
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“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” - Albert Einstein
A
re you wondering what to do when you feel stressed out at work? In the typical day-to-day workplace, especially in the Western world, most often, instead of feeling nourished by day’s end, you end up feeling spent and depleted. And not just mentally but physically too. Somehow over time, you have become stuck in a repetitive daily routine of stressed out. Does that sometimes describe how you feel at the end of most work days? Are there people in your work environment that just seem to trigger a stress response inside you? Maybe in your personal life too?
STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS SPELLS DESSERTS! Here are some common experiences and viewpoints that often describe it: •
Your career is how you spend most of your waking hours.
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By the end of the day, you’re in information overload big time!
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You only feel valued at work when you meet margins and revenue projections. eydisauthenticliving.com 101
•
You feel like a “hamster on a wheel” doing it again each day.
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Your boss or team leader is often chaotic, polarizing or stirring up discontent.
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Everyone around you is so negative that it’s begun to wear on your day-to-day.
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Challenging personalities are hard to deal with.
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You feel like you’re either putting out fires or walking on eggshells.
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Recognizing that the culture is toxic, you feel more and more cynical each day.
Can you relate to any of the above?
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Yes, although a bleak work experience is expected at times. It becomes harmful when it becomes a daily reality for you. The above reality will only feed the stress experience you feel in your body. Not to mention as well in your mind and spirit. The impact is detrimental over time. Think about it. If your body is firing off the stress hormone cortisol, what’s the impact on your health and other aspects of you? It’s not a great scenario long-term. I know it firsthand. Several years ago, I was in a work culture that drained me by the end of the day. I literally came home and wanted nothing more than to
do nothing. Skipping the gym and having food delivered for dinner tempted me daily. After a while, it became obvious to me that this “work” was not a good fit for me. The stress was getting to me. I was getting sick more often. I asked myself four questions that gave me clarity on what was important to me in my life. So I made a change, gave my notice and trusted that something better would show up for me. It did, by the way. A client, “Jill” summed it up by saying that work feels like a “tornado” most days. By the time she gets home, she has little or no energy to give to herself; let alone spend quality time connecting with
Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer. - William S Burroughs her husband. The stress is beginning to show on her health, self-image and her relationship. What she really wants is to enjoy life more. And since her work is a big part of it, how can she enjoy that too? Stress can be a relentless dealbreaker on the quality of your life. It’s like a fungus that eats away at you little by little. It impacts all areas of your life; not just at work! How can you feel truly fulfilled and happy if work is getting to you? It takes a good amount of courage to have the life you want. And since the financial piece is a big part of the broader picture, you have to look at what is important to you. Yes, get crystal clear about what you really want in life and then find ways to integrate it into your daily work life too. You need a starting place to gain real clarity about what would be fulfilling to you. Here are the four questions I use to get my life-work happiness vision back whenever it wavers: 1. What do you believe would be more ideal for you at work? 2. What do you want in the day-to-day workplace?
3. Why do you want this? 4. What do you need to do to have this at work and in the rest of your life? So not only does it take courage to shift how you’re relating to stress but also your commitment to making changes. Once you make a decision to do this for yourself, you begin to feel nourished instead of depleted by the end of your work day. Let’s take some time to really dig into how you can de-stress so that it doesn’t feel like work. Remember, get a real clarity of the vision you want your work life to look and feel like. There are some tremendous benefits that will trickle into the rest of your life too. Game on! Roll up your sleeves! Put your whole heart into it and include all the challenges too. Challenges create new possibilities. Yes, there will always be uncertainty, anxiety, fears and beliefs that get in your way or just pull you along. Sometimes like a numb fool. Count on that! Your life will only transform if you begin to use some powerful tools. However, many people believe that if they experience success at work, that all the stress will go away. Nope. Life doesn’t work that way. You cannot
STRESS-FREE ZONE Tools 1. Every 50 minutes, take a 5-to-10-minute break with movement if possible. 2. Create a stress inventory and then choose one item you can change your responses to each week. 3. Answer the following questions for yourself: Am I a victim in this situation? How can I change my relationship to stress? Am I feeding the stress of this situation by my thoughts? 4. Identify as best as you can: How are my emotions getting in the way? Am I only thinking about myself? What are the real facts here? 5. Find a practice that authentically supports you in calming your emotional reactions to real life situations such as, mindfulness techniques, forgiveness, generosity, breathing, etc.
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If you can’t summon up the muster to get control over the stress that you’re being bombarded with, for over thirty years we’ve mastered it. And in the meantime, you may want to have these quotes near your workspace that sum up nicely, the power of de-stressing:
compartmentalize stress and put it into a little box to deal with later. What you can do is include stress by managing it when it shows up and threatens to mess with your happiness! That’s where courage comes into play. And you may be greatly challenged by this. Know that you cannot control stress but you can control your response to it.
Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg What is it going to cost you in the long-run if stress is getting in the way of you achieving your goals of happiness and fulfillment in life?
It takes ingredients like mindsets, resiliency, healthy releases and using your brain power to make powerful choices toward a different result. Yes, this is a powerful challenge for you to choose to engage in.
Typical business cultures immersed with a system that considers employees relevant only when they meet the goal projections of the company isn’t working as well anymore. If you want to feel valued, onpurpose and nourished at work, a beginning place is to get a handle on your response to stress. It’s the “It Doesn’t Feel Like Work” way!
Why do you want to trade your happiness by paying the price of stress in your entire life? Ouch, right? Why would anyone consciously choose stress that disempowers your psyche, your relationships, and your health? Well, you don’t have to!
The most important thing you can control in your life is to have a singular and compelling vision of the person you want to become. This is what makes you human. We’re really good at dreaming of what we want. When you’re stressed at work,
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can you imagine things that might not be happening yet as for how you want it to be? There’s so much of life we just cannot control. However, you can control how you process stress. You are the only one in charge of your choices. And, making the best decisions for you in each moment can add to your ultimate happiness and fulfillment at work and in the rest of your life. Another bonus is that your responses will add a positive impact on others in your work culture and in the productivity of your division. So get really clear about what your vision is for your work environment and then stay committed to it. De-Stress So “It Doesn’t Feel Like Work.” Carol and Paul Benson are both accomplished mentors, authors, speakers and trainers. Carol, a licensed Speech Language Pathologist, specializes in emotional and relational intelligence strategies and leadership training for business teams. Paul Benson, a multimillion dollar business owner, is well-versed in cooperative team development, sales, negotiation and helping businesses improve their performance using unique best business practices. As authors of the highly-acclaimed book, “5 Steps to Thrive: Reveal Any Crisis as Opportunity,” (2013, Highpoint Life) Carol and Paul know firsthand what it takes to use a wider scope of mindsets as the competitive edge in a fast-past, ever changing global marketplace. itdoesntfeellikework.com carolbbenson@gmail.com
Live your authentic life Take the road less traveled
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IS YOUR WATER DESTROYING YOUR HEALTH? by Liz Bull
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haaat???? You’ve heard that drinking plenty of water is a good thing, right? There are a number of things that water does for your body. It helps to carry food (nutrients) and oxygen to every cell in your body. It controls the temperature of your body. When your body gets too hot, it sweats. This releases water which cools off your body. If you do not drink enough water, your body loses its ability to cool off when necessary. Water helps clean your stomach and aids in digestion. Note that other fluids do NOT replace water as a digestive aid. Anything you add to water will
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cause the stomach sphincter to close. Then the stomach walls start to release enzymes along with gastric juices to break down what has been added to the water. This includes coffee, teas, and even lemon juice. Drinking water between your meals helps to flush out the small, trapped pieces of food so your stomach can relax and stop producing acids. Water helps clean out your small intestine. Drinking room temperature water between meals rinses your small intestine, loosens up the food and helps it move to the next section. It carries the nutrients along, improving the absorption of your food. It also helps to loosen up and flush out old
food particles, helping good bacteria keep the walls of the intestine clean. Water helps clean the large intestine. Here the fluid helps the good bacteria to soften your body’s waste material so that it can be eliminated easily. Constipation results when your body is short on water.
Water helps the body remove toxins... through the skin, through solid waste, and through your kidneys and bladder. What happens if you do not drink enough good water? To start, your food will move more slowly through your
intestines. You may then become constipated and the toxins remaining in your large intestine may be absorbed back into your bloodstream. This happens because your body cannot allow any fluid to be lost. It will draw what it needs from your large intestine. So, the waste becomes dry, impacted (stuck to the intestine
walls) and allows bad bacteria and parasites to hide. Your body then becomes a self-poisoning system. The next organ to be affected is your kidneys. If they are not flushed regularly, they become overloaded with toxins and lose the ability to function properly. This means that your body loses
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Both help to keep any Black Hats from getting into your bloodstream. So far, so good... as long as you keep the White Hats, the good bacteria, alive!
its ability to clean your blood. What happens next? Without enough water, your body cannot remove toxins through sweating, urination or bowel movements. The body then surrounds toxins with fat and lodges them in the cells and layers of skin....keeping them out of the bloodstream. As a last resort, the body will send the toxins to the lungs where it surrounds them with mucous. The body then coughs out the mucous. Mucous, by the way, is the least amount of fluid the body is prepared to lose. If the body does not have enough good water to release toxins, discomfort and high blood pressure may result. With toxic build-up, flu-like 108 | Eydis Magazine
symptoms are common. Not getting enough water can leave you tired, exhausted and, eventually, quite sick. This brings me to the next topic of bacteria, the tiny single-cell life forms that are everywhere. There are both “good” and “bad” bacteria. Think “White Hats” and “Black Hats”. The White Hats guard against the Black Hats. I’ll call them Guardian Bacteria. They live at the entrances to your bodyeyes, nose, mouth, ears, skin... you get the picture...and in the intestines. White Hat bacteria, like acidophilus, break down the food particles into usable nutrients and release B Vitamins in the small intestine. More White Hat bacteria, like Bifidus, operate in the large intestine.
In modern society’s quest for safe, clean water, many places have resorted to chlorination... which kills bacteria. The problem is that it is not selective. Chlorine does not know the difference between the White Hats and the Black Hats. It kills them ALL! The problem goes further, as chlorine can enter your system through your skin. Every time you swim in a chlorinated pool, breathe the fumes or bathe/ shower in chlorinated water, the White Hat Terminator has entered your system and compromised it. Make no mistake about it, Chlorinated water actually destroys your health. What to do? It is best to drink and use water which has never been chlorinated and still has all of its natural minerals. If you live
in the country and use well water or spring water, this may be a simple thing. If you live in a city, you may have to buy natural spring water for drinking or double filtered water that contains the natural electrolytes. Beware of plastic bottles. Glass is best. Consider investing in filters for faucets and showers. Or put in a whole-house filtration system to remove the chlorine but leave in other valuable minerals. Last, but not least, always find out what is in your water. If you have been subjecting your body to chlorine, take steps to rebuild the White Hat bacteria. Pro-biotics are readily available in health food stores. Once you have a reliable source of good water, drink up! Liz Bull helps women (and brave men!) who are fed up with weight loss programs that don’t work to finally get a body and a life they love. She is dedicated to busting up the myths, misconceptions and misinformation about obesity. With her innovative signature program she works with her clients to release their limiting beliefs, doubts, and fears, and helps them tap into their natural abilities and their bodies’ wisdom, making weight loss easy and safe. A Medical Intuitive, Master Theta Healer and Certified Virtual Gastric Band Practitioner , Liz has long been fascinated by the important role mind, body, and beliefs play in our lives. Her other studies and certifications include EFT, Psych-K, Matrix Energetics, Access Consciousness, QiGong, NLP and Transcendental Meditation. She has transferred her successful healing/mind-set work with businesswomen to the arena of weight loss because she has experienced first-hand the havoc and misery that obesity creates not only for the sufferer but for their families. www.lizbull.com
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Slow
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by Annabel Cohen
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here are those who swear by their slow cookers and those who’ve never used them, despite listing them on their bridal registries. Those who love them will extol their virtues as the easiest, most convenient cooking appliance they own. And guess what? The message is being heard. Slow cookers are back in style. Maybe it’s because working households are looking for timesaving ways to make homemade meals. Maybe it’s because of America’s love affair with gadgets. Or it could be that boomers are nostalgic for these contraptions from their youth.
Most slow cookers have fitted ceramic or crockery bowls which are inserted into a heated metal pot. These bowls can accommodate up to about a gallon and a half of food. Heating elements situated around the sides of the outer pot (other types of cookers use elements that heat from the bottom) cook foods at very low temperatures for extended periods of time, usually up to 10 hours or so. Slow cookers usually only have few settings such as off, low and high or 1, 2 and 3. In general, low usually means about 200 degrees and high about 300 degrees. The simplicity of the cooking method also means that technologically, little has changed in the decades since they were introduced. In fact, even newer slow cooker models look surprisingly dated compared to the high-style gadgetry of other appliances. Other than color changes, which reflect more contemporary tastes, most new slow cookers look like old slow cookers. There’s something warm and comfy about cooking foods in a slow cooker. Besides the easy cleanup – one pot, no splatters – there’s the old-fashioned homey quality that comes from doing things the way they used to be done – at least in the 1970s. eydisauthenticliving.com 111
Sesame Honey Hoisin Apricot Pork (Substitute chicken breasts if desired) 2 pounds boneless pork roast or shoulder (butt), cut into 1-inch chunks 1/2 cup chopped onion ½ cup honey 1/4 cup soy sauce 1/4 cup hoisin sauce 2 Tbsp. apricot preserves or jam 1 Tbsp. sesame oil 1 Tbsp. olive oil (not extra-virgin) 1 Tbsp. minced garlic ½ tsp. fresh ground pepper 1/4 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes To thicken sauce: ¼ cup water 2 Tbsp. cornstarch Garnish: ½ cup chopped scallions, white and green parts 2 Tbsp. sesame seeds Toss together all chicken ingredients and transfer to the bowl of a slow cooker. Cover and cook on low for 3 hours. Open the lid and stir well (the chicken will “fall apart” when stirred. In a small bowl, stir together the cornstarch and cold water until dissolved. Stir into the chicken and cook on high for 1 hour more. Stir and serve hot, sprinkled with scallions and sesame seeds, over cooked brown or white rice. 112 | Eydis Magazine
Italian Fish Stew Broth:
1 can (about 28 ounces) diced tomatoes with juices 1 can (about 15 ounces), tomato sauce
Fish:
2 pounds firm flesh fish fillets, without skin, cut into 2-inch chunks (salmon, cod, haddock, tuna, snapper are good choices)
1 ½ cups chopped onions
1/2 cup fresh minced parsley
1 cup dry white wine
Garnish:
1 Tbsp. sliced or chopped garlic
Fresh basil leaves (whole, shredded or chopped)
1 ½ cups chopped celery 2 Tbsp. olive oil 1 bay leaf
1 tsp. kosher salt
½ tsp. fresh ground pepper
Fresh grated Parmesan cheese
Combine the tomatoes and juices, in the bowl of a slow cooker, Cook, covered, on low 4-hours. Stir in fish Cook, covered, 30-minutes longer. Adjust salt and pepper to taste (mostly the broth). Serve in a shallow bowl with cheese, lemon wedges, and bread. Makes 6 servings.
Fresh lemon wedges
Fresh warm baguette slices
½ tsp. hot pepper sauce
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Chicken Lentil and Spinach Soup Makes 6 servings. Step 1:
8 cups chicken broth 1 pound chicken, cut into 1-inch chunks 1 tsp. Minced garlic 1 1/4 tsp Himalayan pink salt 1 1/2 cups uncooked red lentils 1 can (about 14.5-ounce) black beans, drained and rinsed 1/2 medium jalapeño pepper, seeded and diced 2 tsp. chili powder 1 tsp. ground cumin Step 2:
4 cups (packed), baby spinach or chopped kale 3 cups fresh or frozen corn kernels (thawed) 3 green onion sprigs, finely chopped Garnish:
Extra-virgin olive oil Diced fresh avocado
1/2 cup cilantro, finely chopped Combine Step 1 ingredients in the bowl of a slow cooker and cook on high for 4 hours. Add Step 2 ingredients and cook on high for 30 minutes. Adjust salt and pepper to taste. Serve hot, drizzled with olive oil and cilantro. 114 | Eydis Magazine
Moroccan Vegetable Stew with Couscous Makes 6 servings. Stew:
6 cups water
1/4 cup olive oil
2 cups 1 1/2-inch carrot chunks 2 cups 1 1/2-inch peeled sweet potato
2 cups 1 1/2-inch onion chunks 2 cups peeled 1 1/2-inch turnip chunks 2 cups shredded green or white cabbage 1 (15 ounces) can garbanzo beans, rinsed and drained 1 cup chopped celery 2 cinnamon sticks
1 tsp. ground cumin
1 tsp. ground turmeric 1 tsp. salt, or to taste
1/2 tsp. ground black pepper, or to taste 3 tablespoons dried parsley Couscous:
2 cups dried couscous
4-5 cups boiling vegetable broth To make the stew: Combine all the stew ingredients in a slow cooker and cook on high for 6 or hours. Adjust seasonings. To make the couscous: Pour the boiling broth over couscous in a medium bowl and allow to sit for 5 minutes before fluffing with a fork. Serve stew hot over couscous.
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Macaroni and Cheese Makes 6-8 servings.
1 pound (16 oz) dry, uncooked elbow macaroni 3 cups milk 3 cups shredded SHARP cheddar cheese 1 package (8 ounces) cream cheese, cut into chunks 1 tsp. Dry mustard ¼ tsp. Ground cayenne pepper 1 tsp. kosher salt Combine all ingredients in the bowl of a slow cooker and stir well. Cover and cook on low for 1 hour. Stir well. Cover and cook for 1 hour more. Season to taste with additional salt (if needed) and fresh ground pepper. Stir again and cook 3060 minutes more, until the pasta is very tender. Keep warm until ready to serve.
Annabel is a foodie. She’s a writer. A cooking instructor. An explorer. She’s a aesthete. She knows how to cook. Until fairly recently, Annabel only cooked for people she knows. Her catering, articles, blogs and ANNABEL COHEN COOKS DETROIT Facebook page have earned not just kudos, but awards as well. She was chosen as a Crain’s Detroit Business Magazine “Most Passionate Cooks” and has been profiled in: The Paper, HOUR Detroit, The Detroit News, The Detroit Free Press, The Big Idea, Oakland Press, Royal Oak Tribune, The Detroit Jewish News, Style Magazine, “LIVE in the D,” among others. She won “Best Caterer” in 2015 in The Detroit
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Jewish News, and in 2014 in HOUR Detroit magazine. She was voted “Best Brazilian Food” by Detroit Monthly magazine. Among countless television and radio appearances, Annabel was the deciding judge on the Travel Channel’s “Food Wars” for a Detroit episode pitting rivals Lafayette Coney Island against American Coney Island. Annabel is an author. She co-authored “Eating for Acid Reflux” in 2003 and in 2013 created all the recipes for 2014’s “Fast Diets for Dummies.” As a stylist, Annabel has assisted in countless photo shoots and tested and styled recipes for ads, articles and even a few books she didn’t write. She’s also a cooking instructor and writer/columnist with articles that focus on her favorite things — food, travel and lifestyle.
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