MY Authentic Life July 2017 issue

MY

Authentic Life

magazine

WHY PERSONAL POWER IS IMPORTANT TO YOUR

SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT FINDING THE

ABUNDANCE IN OUR LIVES

HOW TO SURVIVE

A FAMILY ROAD TRIP

KATHERINE WOODWARD THOMAS Living Happily Even After

JULY 2017

MY

Authentic Life

magazine

Imagine All the Possibilities Life has to Offer

Leverage Your Small Business To learn more, download your complimentary copy of: Get More Clients Now! 3 Steps to More Clients, More Money, and A Business You Love at ExcellerateAssociates.com

CONTACT US AT:

EXCELLERATE ASSOCIATES 42180 Ford Road, Suite 101A Canton, MI 48187 734.223.3938 | www.ExcellerateAssociates.com

Be The Creator Of

YourOwn Destiny

Start Your Own Magazine And Inspire Your Community • Create your own financial abundance • Become the leader in your community • Dynamic training to ensure your success • Have a positive influence on educating, empowering and inspiring others • Be apart of a growing group of publishers

No Publishing Experience Required mymagazinemediagroup.com

C O N T R I B U T E R S

Maria Rea As the founder of MY Authentic Life Magazine, I would like to thank you for taking the time to read our extraordinary publication. We aspire to empower and inspire you with articles written by our amazing writers. I believe we are all here for a reason greater than ourselves and to serve a divine purpose. It’s how we choose to react to what is placed before us that allows us to succeed.

Jennifer Knutson

Andrew Savoy

Art Director

Webmaster

MY

Authentic Life

magazine

MY Authentic Live is a monthly publication that encourages others to live their best life. MY makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising, editorial content and placement: however, we do not make any claims as to the accuracy of information provided by advertisers or editorial contributors and will accept no responsibility or liability for inaccurate information or placement. No content can be duplicated without the permission of MY Media and Publishing Group. For inquiries e-mail maria.mymediagroup.com.

10 | MY Magazine

contributing writers

Kathryn Andries Patrick Andries The Dream Experts

Wini Curley

Mella Barnes

Liz Bull

Amanda Butler

Sharon Carne

Annabell Cohen

Liberty Forrest

Tamara Green

David Larson

Lisa Marie Platske

Kate Sholonski

Ellen Rogin

Dr. Kate Siner

Judy Lipson

Catherine Saykaly-Stevens

Janette Stuart

Gary Stuart mymagazinemediagroup.com 11

from the publisher

Love

On June 24th 2017 I married my best friend, Jeff. Our day was perfect as we exchanged rings to begin our lives. We received a gift of the Nuernbery Bridal Cup, It comes with such a unique and interesting story, I thought that you would enjoy.

The Legend of the Nuernberg Bridal Cup Centuries ago, in old Nuernberg, the nobel mistress Kunigunde fell in love with a young and ambitious goldsmith. Although Kunigunde’s wealthy father (a powerful nobleman) did not approve of this pair, it was clear that she only wanted the goldsmith to be her husband as she refused many titled and rich suitors who asked for her hand in marriage.

“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That’s what I hope to give you forever.”

–The Notebook

Her father became so enraged that he had the young goldsmith thrown into the darkest dungeon. Not even his daughter’s bitter tears would change her father’s mind.

To her father’s dismay, imprisoning the young man did not end his daughter’s love for the goldsmith. Instead, he could only watch as his daughter grew paler and paler as a result of the separation from her true love.

The wealthy nobleman reluctantly made the following proposal: He told his daughter, “If your goldsmith can make a chalice from which two people can drink at the same time without spilling one single drop, I will free him and you shall become his bride”.

Of course he was certain nobody could perform such a task...

Inspired by love and with skillful hands, the young goldsmith created a masterpiece. He sculpted a girl with a smile as beautiful as his own true love’s.

Her skirt was hollowed to serve as a cup. Her raised arms held a bucket that swivels so that it could be filled and then swung towards a second drinker.

The challenge was met. The goldsmith and the nobleman’s daughter joined hands in marriage and with the bridal cup set forth a romantic and memorable tradition as charming today as it was originally hundreds of years ago.

To this day and to many couples the chalice remains a symbol.

Love, faithfulness and good luck await the couple who drink from this cup.

Have a wonderful July!

Maria Rea – Publisher maria.mymediagroup.com mymagazinemediagroup.com 12 | MY Magazine

ity. n u m m o C l a Loc r u o Y o T e n i gaz a M Y M g n i r B o: t o g e r o m n To lear ine ia

med mymagazine

z

l_maga a c o l _ t r a t s / group.com

mymagazinemediagroup.com 13

Mind n Body Spirit n Busine Budget n HOLISTIC FOR HEALTH, LIFESTYLE AND BUSINESS Looking for holistic products, services and solutions?

Find reference-reviewed options here.

Where the holistic business community comes together, online and in person The Holistic Chamber of Commerce stands for excellence among holistic, complementary, alternative, and sustainable professionals, practitioners and businesses.

To become a member in your area go to http://www.holisticchamberofcommerce.com

Camille Leon

To follow her blog, go to http://www.holisticchamberofcommerce.com/hcc-articles

ess Planet

feature

page 24

Katherine Woodward Thomas Living Happily Even After

16 | MY Magazine

MY Authentic Life

Self-Growth

18 Come Out and Play!

50 When Help Can Also Hurt

32 How to Survive a Family Road Trip

54 So You Want to Give Up: And Then What?

38 Second Hand Stress

Simply Spiritual 72 The Dream Experts What Does Your Dream Mean 74 A Call for Compassion

58 Talk to Tamara

76 Forgiveness

42 Heartfealt Conversation

62 Dear Beautiful Upside You...

44 My Summer Vacation 2017

66 Finding the AbunDance In Our Lives

80 Why Personal Power is Important to Your Spiritual Development

July 2017

Wealth Consciousness 88 10 Ways to Boost Your Generosity 92 How Do I Deliver Social Media That Engages Fans and Converts to Sales?

Healthy Living 98 This is What People Regret Most...

102 Food for All Seasons

COME OUT AND PLAY! Ignite the Inner Child Within

by Amanda Butler

18 | MY Magazine

mymagazinemediagroup.com 19

● Playfulness ● Innocence ● Imagination ● Everything is New ● All is Possible ● Adventurer ● Seeker & Explorer ● Believes in the MORE ● Live in the Present Moment The Inner Child can be such an asset in helping you co-create the life you desire. Many of us grew up with … “the only way you can succeed is all work and no play”, or “you have to work hard for the money.” These are old paradigms you can step out of and old habits to break.

Wisdom

©2015 Keenawah & Associates, LLC

Wisdom from The Diamond Co-Creative System™ The Cosmic Energy Form of Wisdom from The Diamond Co-Creative System™ provides the energetic vibrations to help you activate your Soul Codes of Destiny and Success. This sacred geometry technology can help you access energies of Wisdom … the connection to your inner Wisdom of intuition and your Divine Truth. It also provides the pathway to tap into Universal Wisdom and Divine Love so you are MORE connected with your Soul’s Essence and the Universe’s Highest Potential which is held for you.

I

t’s summertime in the Northern Hemisphere and time to play! It’s time to kick up your heels, relax and enjoy all that the Universe has to offer.

This is the time to call upon the Inner Child energies within 20 | MY Magazine

you. She or he is always with you but are you accessing her/ his energies? Through your Inner Child, you can tap into the following energies that lie within you at any time: ● Fun & Joy

How many times have you’ve heard, or even said to your Self when you’re ending a vacation, “Now I have to go back to the ‘real’ world on Monday.” Here’s the thing, your ‘real’ world IS every moment of every day. It’s not about whether you’re on vacation, or at work, at school or at home. You’re living your ‘real’ world in every moment but it’s what you make of it that matters.

I was reading some of my previous articles and course books where I really talk about the Masculine and Feminine energies, but very little about the Inner Child. It was more like, “Oh and by the way, ask for your Inner Child to come play with you”.

Oops. One of the core aspects within each one of us is our Inner Child. Most have talked about

and worked with the ‘Wounded Child’. It is the Child within us that has been shut down either by letting others be our authority or by us due to the fear of the past, the fear of pain or the fear of being hurt once again. How many times has the expression of your childlike energies been suppressed throughout your life?

I know most of you remember old clichés like … “Children are meant to be seen, and not heard.” Or “big boys (or girls) don’t cry.”

This has set-up a paradigm of the Child within us that is not fully expressing itself and, therefore, making ourselves ‘small’. A paradigm where it is safer and more secure to shrink and stay under the radar screen, so to speak. When we suppress a part of ourselves, then depression can set in.

When I was 4 years old, I believed I was so very capable and could do anything. I went out in the woods behind our house and played with fairies and I had such a vivid imagination. I would get lost for hours playing with my friends … both the physical kind and the etheric kind.

One day, I wanted to be a ‘big girl’ and carry the empty 6-pack of Coke bottles out to our car.

For those of you who remember, the Coke bottles were tall and

made of glass so they were heavy. I had to carry them down a staircase and then down a very loooong sidewalk. I just knew I could do it. My Mom kept saying “I don’t think you can make it, so let me do it.” But I was very insistent that I could.

Now, at 4 years old, the sidewalk seemed to be very long, just as my house seemed very big. When I went back to visit later on as an adult, I saw how it really wasn’t. But in my mind, it was.

So I made it down every step of the staircase and started the trip down the sidewalk. I made it ¾ of the way but ended up dropping the bottles, breaking one of them. My Mom was mad because it meant we could not get the deposit back. I was super dejected because I didn’t make it. As a result, I lost a part of my Inner Child spark that day.

For years, well into my forties, that scenario played out. I would set goals, but a subconscious part of me believed I would only make it so far and never achieve what I Truly desired. Eventually, I would get overwhelmed and give up if there were too many obstacles or challenges. My Inner Child would not come out and play as if to see it like an adventure or believe in the possibilities. She had lots of evidence and beliefs about how it was not meant to be.

Plus as I grew up, I attracted teachers that told me I wasn’t good enough and I believed them. It was interesting that many of those teachers were the ones dealing with creativity … art teachers, choir teachers and such. You may have had that too, or maybe your parents or some sort of authority figure that projected their own woundedness onto you. mymagazinemediagroup.com 21

The good news … I did meet a mentor in high school who totally believed in me and an aunt who always reminded me I could do anything. But I had to heal the Inner Child so she would believe it once again. I had to ignite her joy, her playfulness, her innocence, her imagination and her sense of adventure and belief in possibilities.

I had to tap back into the Wisdom that I held in my own Inner Family and connection with love and the Universe.

The Inner Child is an important component of your energetic makeup. If she/he is hiding out, fearful, steeped in the pain of the past, then there is a part of you that is not fully engaged.

You are missing a component of your Self who can contribute to the fun and play in life and the joy and imagination of creating what you desire.

The Inner Child is valuable for you to acknowledge, to listen to and to invite in and play with you on a daily basis. Whether you are at your job, working on a project or home relaxing, invite your little girl or boy to come along with you.

The Inner Child brings in the vibrations of fun, creativity and most of all … imagination in seeing the possibilities and the bigger picture. If she/ he is stuck in the past and ruling you through the pain of the past, then you need to love and nurture her/him back to your original state of innocence and grace.

Healing any sense of abandonment, not fitting in, not good enough are very powerful steps. It opens the doorway to ignite the fun and play, within you and to put adventure back into your life. When you believe

you can, no matter who or what can get in your way. Even with challenges, you can bring in the sense of your adventurer and explore the opportunities and possibilities that await you.

When I began my healing process with the Inner Child, she was literally on a bed, hiding in the corner curled up with her knees to her chest. She did not like me. She did not trust me. She did not believe me that anything could be different.

I had to patiently coax her to come out and allow me to love her, to hold her, to nurture her. I had to be diligent in acknowledging her and what she thought, felt and believed. I had to continue to be there for her, and make the time to connect and invite her to come along and live again.

I learned to hear her and to listen to what she needed and wanted. I also had to learn to set boundaries with her about when it was time to heal the past. The ‘old’ story was just that … an ‘old’ story and no longer relevant. I showed her that we learned from it. We grew from it. We were ready to heal it and move on from it.

She eventually learned to trust that I would be there for her and she did not have to show up as the ‘perfect’ little

22 | MY Magazine

girl. I would love her and care for her no matter what.

I made ‘play dates’ with her. It was whatever she wanted to do. I set aside a 2 to 4 hour slot at least once a week and only focused on her and her desires.

The ‘play dates’ were never broken or rescheduled even if it was a super busy time. It could be as simple as watching a movie (which by the way is her favorite thing to do) or sometimes she wanted to take the dog to the lake or go for a walk in the woods. The only important thing was that I spent time with her.

During these ‘play dates’, I was able to connect with her more and more. She began to trust more and more. And she let go

of the past so she could express more and more of who she truly is. She allowed igniting the Truth of the Inner Child that she is thus becoming enlivened to live life fully.

She is now happy and vibrant in all that we are and do together. Even in difficult times, she brings in the adventure and explorer in to seek out the solution with the Masculine and Feminine and to play within the possibilities.

She also constantly reminds me to keep present in the moment.

So you have a choice … come out and play this summer! Allow for your Inner Child to show you the way with her/his Inner Wisdom!

Amanda Butler is the Architect of The Diamond CoCreative System™ and since 2001 has assisted thousands to heal their present and past life energetics, while activating their Soul Codes of Destiny and Success, so they create an integration and vibrational alignment between their Soul’s Essence and personality/egoic Self. The results … they feel connected with their authentic Self, True purpose, passion, joy and love with the ability to fulfill their Highest Potential and live their MORE! For more about Amanda and The Diamond Co-Creative System ™, go to: http://cocreateyoursuccess. com/28dayjourney/ www.CoCreateYourSuccess.com https://www.facebook.com/ createyourdiamondlife mymagazinemediagroup.com 23

Katherine Woodward Thomas

24 | MY Magazine

LIVING HAPPILY Even AFTER

by Maria Rea

I

had the privilege of talking to Katherine Woodward Thomas, and although I had just met her, her genuine, kind, and engaging demeanor made me feel as though we had been friends forever.

Katherine has also trained and certified hundreds of people to become coaches in Conscious Uncoupling as well as her Calling in “The One” programs.

Katherine is the author of the New York Times Bestseller, Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After, which was nominated for the “Books for a Better Life” award. She also wrote a National Bestseller, Calling in, “The One:” 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life, and is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has taught thousands worldwide.

Having the honor of being interviewed by Maria Shriver on her infamous Architects of Change series, Katherine also had the privilege of being a main stage speaker at Lewis Howes, “Live Summit of Greatness Annual Conference as well as sharing the stage with well-known names such as, Alanis Morissette, Marianne Williamson, Neale Donald Walsch, Jean Houston, Mary Manin Morrissey and other Extraordinary teachers.

Katherine’s Conscious Uncoupling process was made famous by Gwyneth Paltrow, American actress, singer, comedian and food writer and her former husband Chris Martin, musician, singer and songwriter.

Her life-affirming and highly transformative teachings have been featured on The Today Show, as well as in, The New York Times, Time Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, The London Times, People Magazine,

Women’s Health and many other media outlets throughout the world.

Although our history does not define us, often times it does set us in a particularly challenging direction and for many of us, that started at a very young age.

At the age of 2, Katherine’s parents divorced, a pivotal moment in her life. It was at a time when fault needed to be proven to dissolve a marriage, as couples had to demonstrate abuse or abandonment to be granted the right to divorce.

Her parents duked it out for years. The divorce was nasty and highly contentious, eventually leading to alienation between Katherine and her beloved father that lasted well over a decade.

“I became one of those statistics on how divorce damages kids and sets them up mymagazinemediagroup.com 25

for insecure attachment patterns later in life. I certainly lived that for decades. Now, I’m grateful for that experience because it put me in the position of having to do my own inner work from a young age, where I was forced to lean into a wholehearted journey of healing, spiritual growth, and personal empowerment if I wanted to

have any kind of wellbeing and happiness in life,” Katherine shares.

In her twenties, while her college colleagues were off creating successful lives, Katherine’s life went in a very different direction. She took odd jobs and waited tables to afford spending hour upon

hour sitting in twelve step meetings, therapy sessions, and transformational seminars trying to find her way.

“I learned many valuable things during that period; how to be kind and loving toward myself, the habits of healthy relating, how to create a successful life. I did this by taking a huge stand for my future and leaning into the ways I’d need to grow to manifest that future. I refused to be defined by the disappointments of my past.

I committed myself to a bold, bright future and allowed that future to pull me into the happy life I’m living today.”

Katherine defines healing as a life-long process.

“If something traumatic happened in your childhood, and you didn’t get the love or support you needed, there may never be a time when you’re finally fully healed. You might forever feel slightly melancholy certain times of the year! We can’t wait until we’re fully healed before we can have love, be successful, or make our greatest contributions.

Earnest Hemmingway said, ‘The world breaks everyone and afterwards many are strong in the broken places.’

I think we’re a community of people who find ways to make something beautiful out of everything hard that’s ever happened to us. We make beauty for our own lives, and find ways to offer that beauty to others.”

26 | MY Magazine

Katherine goes on to give a great example of how our lives are what we make them. She shares the example of Viktor Frankl who wrote ‘Man’s Search For Meaning.’

“Viktor Frankl was an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist and Holocaust Survivor. He was put into a concentration camp and lost his wife and his parents. When he writes about that time, he shares that he realized life had given him the task of making something beautiful out of whatever was happening. He had to find his inner compass of integrity and dignity no matter what other people were doing.”

He surrendered deeply to the path life had given him. He wrote that there are all these things we think we want in life and do our best to create, yet quite often it’s not what we want from life but what life wants from us that is most valuable.

Dr. Frankl stated our task is to take whatever circumstances we are in and find a way to have it build our character, open our hearts, teach us about love and forgiveness, and to serve something larger than ourselves.”

Looking back, Katherine can now see that what she calls her “dark years,” where she was swimming in a sea of pain with a raging food addiction, without any meaningful relationships, socially anxious, self-destructive

Katherine Woodward Thomas; her former husband, Mark; and their daughter, Alexandria.

and co-dependent was just what she needed to become the woman she now is. Pointing out that in many ways, her parent’s horrible divorce may actually be the best thing that’s ever happened to her. For it compelled her own growth path so that she’s now one of the most respected relationship experts of our time.

“I take great joy in now being someone who has happy, healthy attachment patterns with others, who’s no longer co-dependent, who has healthy self-esteem and who is living the mission I was born for.

The thing that’s allowed me to transform who I was then, to who I am now, has to do with “choice points.” Those moments in life where we’re faced with a choice. Will I expand or contract? Forgive or stay bitter? Be arrogant or humble? Remain a victim or take responsibility? Be right

or flexible in my perspective?

These are the choices we all face daily.

What causes profound transformation is when we adopt a mindset of knowing what we want to create, and then lean into becoming the version of ourselves we’d need to be to live that future. We must turn our attention toward the path of development that would allow us to manifest that future. Who will I need to be to receive that future?

What choices can I make that’s congruent with that future?

We all have choices we must make each day. What helps us make choices that will allow us to fulfill upon our highest possibilities for happiness in life and love are two-fold.

1. A powerful mission statement that’s at the heart of every choice we mymagazinemediagroup.com 27

make. For me, I know my life is about evolving our individual and collective capacities to love and be loved in service to creating a more loving world. No matter what’s happening, no one can take from me my ability to live that mission.

2. Having a clear vision of the future I’m standing to create.

We need to know what we’re standing for in our own lives, our relationships and in our world. That future then informs us how we need to develop to realize it.

For me, it’s a world of deep relatedness and care, which is what I’d like to leave to our children.

WHAT IS CONSCIOUS UNCOUPLING? Conscious Uncoupling is a creation along these lines because breakups can so easily bring out the worst, even in the best of us.

We all know most breakups are ugly, where we can easily behave badly at the end of love and set ourselves up for years of unresolved breakup grief. Conscious Uncoupling is a 5-step blueprint I created for how to end a relationship in an honorable and respectful way.

It provides guidance for how to do minimal damage to all involved and set up everyone up to win moving forward in life.

“Conscious Uncoupling shot into the lexicon when Gwyneth Paltrow used my term to 28 | MY Magazine

announce her divorce. She’s done a good job modeling how to stay a family after a divorce. However, people now assume that Conscious Uncoupling is only for couples uncoupling together in an effortless, easy way. Yet that’s not the case.

I created Conscious Uncoupling for anyone who’s

had their heart broken. Those suffering through a current breakup, still struggling with unresolved breakup grief from a breakup in their past, or those contemplating a possible breakup in the future. Most people who do Conscious Uncoupling are doing it because they’re in a lot of pain. They’re angry, hurt and scared.

If someone’s been left, they’re also often traumatized.

Biologically, when we lose a primary relationship, we go into fight or flight mode, and into a high alert state due to what we perceive as a threat. Because of that, we may even want to hurt the person who’s hurting us.”

In a nutshell, here are the 5 Steps of Conscious Uncoupling: STEP 1. Find Emotional Freedom. Step One helps you de-escalate the overwhelming feelings you may be having and turn those intense negative emotions into the drivers of unprecedented positive change in your life.

STEP 2. Reclaim Power and Your Life. In Step Two, you turn your attention to discovering your part in the breakup. Even if it’s 97% the other person’s fault, what’s critical to see clearly is your 3%. Understanding that will help you do things differently moving forward.

STEP 3. Break the Pattern, Heal Your Heart. In Step Three you graduate from painful and toxic relational patterns that have been haunting you, sometimes for decades. You identify your “Source Fracture Wound” -- the original break in your heart, and transform that hurt at its core, so that you’re finally free to create happier, healthier experiences in love moving forward.

STEP 4. Being a Love Alchemist. In Step Four, you’re invited to set an intention for a

positive future with your former partner, even if that simply means how you’ll choose to remember that person. You also are invited to start repairing unhealed hurts through forgiveness, by clearing the air of resentments, and by the art of making golden repairs, which validates the value of the connection even as it’s changing forms.

Step 5. Create Your Happy Even After Life. In Step Five, you get to look at the agreements that your old relationship was founded upon and re-create new ones more appropriate to the future you’re now creating. You also look at how you could create new healthy structures to set everyone up to do well moving forward.

“Conscious Uncoupling matters for anyone struggling with breakup grief who hopes to have happy, healthy love in their future. Because your next relationship won’t begin when you meet your next partner, but with how you ended with your last one.

Conscious Uncoupling is also critical when we’re co-raising children. Currently, we’re asking our children to mature in ways they’re not supposed to be maturing yet! Even in amicable divorces, children often struggle with torn loyalties and continual losses as they’re constantly leaving one family to join the other.

Conscious Uncoupling puts the pressure on us as adults to

do the growing, to spare our kids from prematurely having to do so. While that growth is toxic for kids, it’s actually good for grownups! Helping us to learn from our mistakes, grow in character, deepen in wisdom and become even more equipped to love and be loved moving forward in life.”

Katherine is currently living her “happily even after” life having gone through her own conscious uncoupling. She and her former husband share a daughter and it was these steps that allowed for their transition into their healthy post-divorce family. Her bestselling book, as well as her Certified Conscious Uncoupling Coaches, help pay forward her good efforts so that others can also experience more kind and gentle breakups.

“Our relationships matter. I’m a believer in love. Yet I am not pro-misery. And if there comes a time when the right thing to do is to separate, there’s a way to do it that’s honorable and fair.

It’s time for us to learn how to break up better and discover how to stay conscious at the end of a relationship. For it’s the task of our time to consciously evolve our individual and collective capacities to love and to be loved.”

To learn more about working with Katherine visit www.ConsciousUncoupling.com or www.KatherineWoodwardThomas.com and to listen to Katherine’s full interview go to at mymagazinemediagroup.com/ interview

mymagazinemediagroup.com 29

MY Authentic Life

HOW TO SURVIVE A FAMILY ROAD TRIP

(and Maybe Even Have Fun)

by Mella Barnes

I

t’s summer, so you might be planning a road trip with your family, or planning to visit family.

For some of you, this will be a fun and exciting adventure. For 32 | MY Magazine

others, well…let’s just say there are other things we’d rather do.

Let’s break down a list of the top things that can derail a trip and highlight some suggestions.

The Music This is by far one of the biggest issues I’ve had on a road trip. I’m a fan of almost

Create Playlists Before You Go Have everyone choose enough songs and take rotate each person’s song choice. It’s a good way to have variety and will allow everyone to experience different music for a change. It’s also a good idea to establish some ground rules here, such as “no songs longer than 10 minutes.” It’s important that everyone feels they’re getting equal time.

Bring Private mp3 players and Headphones If you know your family can’t agree on a playlist and you don’t want to hear nonstop complaining, personal music players are the way to go.

I’m dating myself here, but I brought my own cd player on a road trip with a friend’s family.

I was too shy to ask them to maybe try something other than my friend’s three Britney Spears CDs. Having my own was great and gave me a chance to zone out for a bit. My friend was a little upset that I didn’t want to hear “Oops I Did it Again” for the 94th time, but she should have been glad I didn’t make her listen to my Glenn Miller collection. every genre, but I’ve had to listen to six solid hours of country gospel on a road trip once. When you’re packed into a car with multiple

people, they’re all bringing their personalities and music preferences with them. Here are some tips to avoid musicrelated fights:

Rotate DJ Positions Another option is, whoever sits in the front gets to pick.

This doesn’t work if you have mymagazinemediagroup.com 33

younger kids who can’t sit up front, but in my day (when no one cared if we flew through the windshield) we rotated it that way and it worked out pretty well.

The Food I guarantee you’ll have at least one argument about where to stop for food. I will eat pretty much anything and don’t care enough to argue about it, but I don’t think I’ve ever been on a road trip where there wasn’t a fight over food.

Choose Options I can’t take credit for this but I’m not sure where I heard of it. Basically, someone in the group chooses as many options as there are people in the car.

Then each person gets a turn to eliminate one until the last one standing wins. There are bound to be fights over what gets eliminated, but those can be options for later.

34 | MY Magazine

Plan Ahead of Time Google is amazing. You can now search for cities you plan to stop in, and figure out what restaurants they have that you’ll all like. If you have a favorite place that has an app, you can even see when there’s one coming up. I really recommend planning it out before you even get in the car though. Then you won’t end up screaming at each other because two of you want pizza and one of you decided to be gluten intolerant that day and the other just decided they only eat organic produce.

Reward Compromise This is something you can use with any of your fights. Whoever gives up what they want now can choose something else they want later. Keep this written down so you know who is getting what later, as this could get confusing on the long road trips.

Too Much Time Together This one I can’t really do much for you, except to make sure you have enough quiet time, breaks from driving and remember that it’s all temporary. If you have introverts in the car, make sure they get their own quiet time (please trust me on this!) and everyone should be okay. Road trips can be a ton of fun. Here’s hoping your a great time!

Mella is a session singer, songwriter and producer living in Nashville, Tennessee.

Also an animal lover, she has three dogs, a rabbit, and any number of foster animals in various shapes and sizes. She is the author of Way Less Cowbell, a book on communicating with session musicians. If you would like more information or to hire her onto your project, please visit www.mellamusic.com

START YOUR OWN MAGAZINE IN YOUR LOCAL AREA

It’s Not Only A Business

It’s a Movement!

I never could have imagined that by taking control of my life and starting my own business, it would turn out to be the most rewarding decision I have ever made, it has changed my life forever! It is the combination of faith, dedication and working smart, mixed with great passion and manifestation that I am here talking to you about this amazing opportunity.

Be a Part of the

Movement

FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT MYMAGAZINEGROUP.COM

DONATE NOW

36 | MY Magazine

FOR MORE INFORMATION AND WAYS TO HELP GO TO STCLAIRBUTTERFLYFOUNDATION.ORG

C.H.A.N.G.E. Creating Hope and Awareness and Nurturing Growth through Empowerment The St. Clair Butterfly Foundation was founded to inspire a movement of C.H.A.N.G.E. by providing all children and youths with the tools to overcome any adversity and help them to realize their full potential to soar!

Based in Oakland County Michigan, this nonprofit organization offers: Community Outreach Programs Creative Art Programs Scholarship Programs Legislative Initiatives Your donation goes directly to helping kids find their voice The St. Clair Butterfly Foundation has successfully helped to change laws in several states to better protect children.

Each year 1-in-4 girls and 1-in-6 boys are victims of abuse.

Let’s help these children find their voice.

Founded in 2007 by Chip and Lisa St. Clair, and based on his bestselling memoir, The Butterfly Garden, the St. Clair Butterfly Foundation utilizes the power of creative arts, literature, and overall well-being to impact the lives of children facing adversity.

Listen to Chip and Lisa’s radio show: The Divine Frequency: Turning Your Passion Into Purpose Tuesday at 9:30 am Eastern Time on Empower Radio

Your donation gives the greatest gift to a child! mymagazinemediagroup.com 37 It shows that they are loved and that they deserve to be heard.

SECOND HAND STRESS Your Stress May Not Be Yours

38 | MY Magazine

by Sharon Carne

H

ave you ever tried not to yawn when someone near you yawns?

Have you ever tried not to laugh when someone near you is laughing? Especially when that someone is a baby?

Have you ever noticed when you have been listening to a friend list off all of their complaints how unhappy, upset, frustrated or stressed you feel after?

Have you ever cried during a movie when you really felt what a character was feeling?

All of this happens because your brain is wired to transmit and receive emotions from others.

Here is a quote from an article that appeared in the December, 2011 issue of Alive Magazine called “Second Hand Stress: Our brains are wired to transmit tension” by Melissa Galea.

“Stress is contagious.

And it isn’t just spread when your boss dumps a weekend’s worth of work on your desk.

When one person is anxious, frazzled, or tense, others nearby pick up subconscious signals that could boost their stress levels too...”

Recent research on mirror cells or mirror neurons gives us some insight into how this happens.

The discovery of the mirror neuron is believed to be the physical basis for empathy.

I was ecstatic when the Calgary Herald published an article July 21, 2008 by Albert Nerenberg, called “Are You an Empath?”

It was all about empathy and the scientific discovery of what is believed to be the physical basis of empathy - mirror cells.

Below is some of what he shared in this article.

“Mirror neurons allow us to grasp the minds of others, not through conceptual reasoning, but through direct simulation,” neuroscientist Giacomo Rizzolatti told the New York Times. “By feeling, not by thinking.”

The mirror cell theory suddenly explained a mysterious aspect of shared emotion. We don’t just interpret what other people experience or feel; we simulate it inside us, sometimes with incredible exactitude. mymagazinemediagroup.com 39

The discovery of mirror cells would take a few years to draw attention, but when it did, it was labeled one of the most significant scientific breakthroughs of our time. It is now changing the way people look at emotion, connection, love and civilization.

Mirror cells are the foundation of empathy, goes the theory, and empathy 40 | MY Magazine

is the foundation of civilization.”

development of stress-related diseases.”

So how does this impact us as we attempt to navigate in a highly stressed world?

Research continues to corroborate the challenges we face with second hand stress no matter what environment we find ourselves in.

In a study by Veronika Engert and Franziska Plessow et al, they found that 26% of the observers of someone’s distress displayed a significant increase in cortisol. Cortisol is one of the hormones released when we are stressed. They also found a 40% increase in cortisol when only two people were observing.

They concluded that empathic stress from observing another’s distress, “may have important implications for the

Not only do we have to deal with our own personal stressors, we are intimately affected by everyone else in our environment.

So what can we do?

If you feel you have taken on some ‘Second Hand Stress’ or are looking for ways to release some that is actually yours, here are a few tips to help: Since my realization of my own

empathic sensitivity many years ago, I have been collecting as many tools as I can get my hands on to help me manage it.

1. POSITIVE MINDSET Become mindful of your mindset. Make the effort to create a positive mindset and be mindful of your responses to people during your day.

A positive mindset can reduce your stress response by 23%.

That is significant!

2. THE 90 SECOND RULE This reminder is from Jill Bolte Taylor can help sideswipe any appearance of the “Drama Queen”. She calls it the “90 Second Rule.” Bolte Taylor is a neuroscientist who suffered and documented her stroke and recovery process several years ago in her book, “My Stroke of Insight”.Jill BolteTaylor – 90 Second Rule, from her book “My Stroke of Insight”

happening, and then you can watch it go away. After that, if you continue to feel fear, anger, and so on, you need to look at the thoughts that you’re thinking that are restimulating the circuitry that is resulting in you having this physiological response over and over again.”

3. RELEASE EXCESS EMOTIONAL ENERGY. Consciously use the natural voice of the body. We do this all the time when we sigh or groan.

These sounds stimulate the release of hormones that reduce stress and help the body heal and manage pain.

I recommend that you do a vocalized sigh. Start around the middle of your vocal range and let the sound of your voice drop into the low range as you sigh AHHHHHHH. Notice your shoulders drop and your body relax.

“When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there’s a 90 second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop. Something happens in the external world and chemicals are flushed through your body which puts it on full alert. For those chemicals to totally flush out of the body it takes less than 90 seconds.

4. FLUSH IT OUT! This one is a little goofy, but works really well. Imagine you have a toilet flush lever by your ear. Push on the lever and imagine the swirling water flushing anything that isn’t yours easily and gently out of your body.

This means that for 90 seconds you can watch the process happening, you can feel it

If you decide to use this I recommend that you create intention that any energy that is

Swirling water going down the drain is a vortex. Like a tornado.

A vortex is a powerful image to use for clearing this kind of energy.

not yours be released down the drain and immediately dissolved harmlessly.

5. RECALL YOUR STRENGTH I also recommend that you become really familiar with your own energy, so that you can determine right away if you have taken on any energy that doesn’t feel like yours.

Your own energy and your energy field is strong after a treatment like a massage, or reiki or any other modality that leaves you feeling balanced, peaceful and calm.

Remember this feeling and the strength in your body and energy. This is your energy or your natural frequency. Know what it feels like when it is strong.

When you have a strong foundation and memory of your own energy you will more easily tell if something foreign enters your space.

Sharon Carne is an author, speaker, musician, recording artist, sound healer, Reiki master and consultant. Sharon is the founder of Sound Wellness and the Sound Wellness Institute. Through the Sound Wellness Institute, holistic health practitioners receive the highest level of competency training in using sound and music to support their practice. Sound Wellness programs are at the forefront of education in how sound and music can be easily applied to your everyday life - to reduce stress, help you concentrate, energize you, inspire you and support your health. www.soundwellness.com

mymagazinemediagroup.com 41

HEARTFELT CONVERSATION

42 | MY Magazine

by Kate Sholonski

A

s I observe individuals, families, businesses, political parties and even countries struggle to find peace, I have been struck by the similarities.

Humans are sitting ducks to be caught up in potential misunderstandings, differences of opinion, viewpoints and values, all of which can lead to fearful assumptions. The likely result will be splintered and divisive relationships, which not only create the antithesis to peace, no one involved will likely be able to operate at their individual best.

Regardless of the number of people involved within the culture, the geographical location, the financial status, or the level of authority at stake, when people are in fear, it is extremely challenging to create peaceful alignment.

Fears will grow when there is a lack of strong and unifying leadership. People rant and complain and infect others with their fears. Name-calling, sabotage, exclusion, and dissent can occur.

Opposing sides are formed and us-against-them mentalities are created, which then stimulates a downhill slide to ineffectiveness, a loss of respect, loss of compassion and sometimes even war. Other side effects for a business will include a loss in profits due to the lack of connection and subsequent productivity.

Both on the national stage, within any business and even within families, when there is a fracturing of respect and subsequent separation, the desire for healing, connection, and belonging grows stronger.

Unfortunately, many people don’t know how to create an environment of healing and congruence and therefore tend to ignore the chronic negativity that causes perpetual harm.

In order to have a return to trust, peace, respect, wellbeing and productivity for every

citizen, employee or family member, heartfelt connections are needed to inspire, direct and listen to the voices of those involved.

The first step we recommend for teams or families is to create some agreements around how each individual will treat and speak to one another. An agreement, such as taking part in a respectful dialogue, rather than finger pointing and accusations, is a good start.

Secondly, when having those conversations, listening for the fears of everyone enables each person to gain understanding and hopefully even compassion for another’s point of view. It is also a great opportunity to dispel any misconceived assumptions.

The longer dissension exists, the more challenging it can be to create a bridge of understanding, corroboration and a feeling of belonging, where every voice is heard and trust is rebuilt.

The good news is that the healing process can begin by sitting down with your adversary and have a heartfelt conversation. Repeat as needed.

Kate transitioned from a 28 year nursing career to life coaching and as a personal fulfillment workshop leader in 2001. After many years of coaching people from all walks of life, she and her business partner repeatedly heard requests from their clients to combine joy and fulfillment with leadership principles.

It was that concept that led them to create their business, Triumph Leadership Group, where they focus on training teams from all sized businesses to build positive and productive cultures.

Kate and her business partner, David Larson have coauthored two books, Wide Awake: Three Minutes a Day to an Inspired Life and Heartfelt Leadership: Creating a Culture of Connection.

They believe when relationships don’t work, the business doesn’t work and that workers who share heartfelt connections will help business thrive on every level. mymagazinemediagroup.com 43

MY SUMMER VACATION

2017!

by Gary Stuart

44 | MY Magazine

WOW!

It’s summertime and it’s time to take stock as 2017 whizzes right by with the school year now behind us in vacation time in front of us. It’s time to enjoy, have fun and have some adventure. Also, it’s time to take care of you and do not live just to toil and slave away daily for money. Everything has its time and place?

Summer Vacations remind us that we have a “life” separate from work. We also have other needs for our life and we deserve to enjoy it, otherwise what’s the point if we just work cradleto-grave! Now think about Ebenezer Scrooge! He has all that money with no enjoyment, no friends and before you know it Christmas of 2017 will be here.

Now that’s scary, very scary, scarier than a roller coaster at any amusement park in the USA. Moreover, if you’re a mom and dad, you both have the responsibility to entertain and create pleasure for your children, their family, and friends. After all, the kids study hard all year and summer time is very much needed because they deserve it. Vacation to your children and the need to have a good time, not to mention those trips and excursions create memories of their childhood, will last a lifetime.

It’s also time for parents to experience the joys of family and not just the responsibility of parenthood. Everyone needs to have fun in the sun and splash around in the ocean, lake, club or mountain.

mymagazinemediagroup.com 45

The Time of Your Life

Here are some simple steps you can take: You have EARNED time for pleasure and fun!

Relaxation is good for you and well deserved.

This is the time. It’s the time of your life!

Does it inspire you or mire you in strife?

It’s the time of your life! Are you standing with pride?

Do challenges please you or freeze you inside?

It’s the time of your life! Are you using it well?

Do you live life or fear it? Your spirit can tell.

It’s the time of your life! Do you reap its reward?

Do your blessings get counted or mounted and stored?

It’s the time of your life! Are your passions ablaze?

Or are you just passing/amassing the days?

It’s the time of your life! Are your banners unfurled?

Are you feeling enthused by or used by the world?

It’s the time of your life! Are you living your truth?

Can that fire be rekindled that’s dwindled since youth?

It’s the time of your life! It’s right now. It’s today.

Don’t let it be squandered and pondered away.

Make it a family affair to plan and see what interests either your partner or children.

Share the responsibility, it’s half the fun to see who gets excited to help, and make sure everyone gets involved.

Budget accordingly and remember the season passes fast, so get on it, whether it’s a lake trip or an overnight local trip, make it fun, it’ll be an adventure.

Remember Labor Day looms as does the forthcoming school year and the Holidays’ shortly thereafter so make your plans now. It’s now official, 2017 is flying by!

Above all enjoy the ride!

I’m taking my own advice and visiting Alaska and Calgary for my fun in the Sun!

Speaker, Author, Constellation Facilitator, Teacher has been documenting his healing experiences over the past It’s the time of your life! It’s the life that you’ve got. several decades. As a young It’s time to start living it – ready or not! student of Primal Therapy and Shamanism, his insightful writings provide a unique perspective on the correlation between the micro Remember even parents used to be kids to and macro-cosmos, between our inner and outer worlds. His first once upon a time. Now that it’s summer and as book on Constellations Many Hearts, One Soul set the stage for fall gets closer, remember life should be about his latest book Master Your Universe: How to Direct & Star in pleasure, connection, and happiness. In many Your Own Life on Kindle or paperback at www.Amazon.com

It’s the time of your life! But the time may not last.

You may find while you worried it hurried on past.

cases, everyone gets distracted by all the unseen attributes of daily life. We tend to forget when we’re so busy with school work sports music, and all the other things needed to educate your family.

Everyone works hard so it’s important to balance out all your work and toil with a good time great friend’s food and frolic. After all, there is no time like the present to be present.

46 | MY Magazine

He leads healing workshops and trains nationally and internationally and resides in Los Angeles. Distance Family or Organizational Constellations are his healing specialty! He’s coming back to Detroit in August 2017 to WOW again!

Give a GIFT that keeps on giving - CHANGE. Constellation Healing GIFT CERTIFICATES plus packages available.His FREE Consultation: www. testyourhappiness.com and online www.

ConstellationsWithGaryStuart.com

“Faith Is Taking the Step Even When You Don’t See the Whole Staircase.”

– Martin Luther King Jr.

Calling All Women Entrepreneurs!

You are TALENTED! You are BRILLIANT! You are UNSTOPPABLE! Move your business to the next step and become financially free.

To learn more go to mymagazinemediagroup. com/calling_all_women

mymagazinemediagroup.com 47

Self-Growth

48 | MY Magazine

WHEN HELP CAN ALSO HURT 3 QUESTIONS TO ASSURE YOUR SUPPORT IS PRODUCTIVE

50 | MY Magazine

by Wini Curley, Ph.D.

S

ummer has arrived!

School has ended, and vacations have begun. Where I live in North Carolina, there is a whole lot of swimming going on to beat the heat.

My friend Samantha is teaching five-year-old Alicia to swim.

Her single dad Joseph wants Alicia to be safe in the water when he takes her boating this summer. During the first lesson, Samantha noticed that Joseph was hovering, and a bit overprotective. Whenever Alicia would come up for air he would reach for her, or otherwise try to ‘help’ her or make it easier.

Remember, Alicia was not actually in any danger. She was in a community pool with a lifeguard and her personal swimming coach learning to be comfortable in the water and what it takes to swim. Joseph knew all this, and yet he was still trying to ‘save’ her. As Samantha told me this story from her perspective as a coach, she said Joseph’s ‘helping’ was undermining Alicia’s ability to build confidence in her own skills, and her ability to deal with the challenges of learning to swim on her own.

As I listened to the story it struck me as a great example and metaphor for a pattern I sometimes see with my clients.

You may have experienced it yourself. I certainly have.

Consciously working through your own challenges, lessons, and patterns are likely to heighten your awareness of others who are not addressing their own issues and challenges productively.

It is hard not to notice when a friend or family member is struggling with a particular challenge in their life. It may even be a pattern that has developed over an extended period of time. You know them, and care about them, and you are sure that you know a better way for them to overcome the challenge. To use the swimming metaphor, you want to help save them from drowning in their misery or mistakes.

In my experience, when you try to insert yourself - oh wait, I mean offer your help - one of the following three things happens: •

The person allows you to take on the challenge for them. They release their responsibility for learning the skills they need to cope and allow you to take care of it for them.

Eventually, this scenario can become a burden for you, and their situation is no better in the long run.

They become dependent on you. If you aren’t there to handle it, things fall mymagazinemediagroup.com 51

apart for them. This was the path Joseph was on with Alicia and her swimming skills. Fortunately, as the swimming coach, Samantha was able to interrupt that pattern, explain to Joseph why he needed to step back and allow Alicia space to learn and to develop confidence. When he did that, Alicia began to do better on her own.

•

Your friend or family member recognizes they need to make a change, and they accept and respect your advice. This situation is most effective when you have successfully dealt with

52 | MY Magazine

a similar challenge yourself.

It can become a little tricky if the two of you don’t define success in the same or a compatible way.

•

They shake you off, reject your help, and maybe even get irritated with you for bringing it up. When they shake you off, one of two things is going on. They know (on either a conscious or unconscious level) that they need to learn this for themselves, but they don’t welcome you as a coach for this challenge. Alternatively, they are in denial that there is any need for change. This can be the most frustrating

experience for those of us who care about them.

We can see that there is a way out of their misery and want to help them make a shift. However, that cannot happen until they are ready to accept that a shift is both possible and necessary.

The key for you to remember is that this is their journey. In the words of many parents over the years, “You got yourself into this mess, you can learn to get yourself out.” On a very basic level, there is a lot of truth in that statement. The challenges each of us face are there for a reason. It is up to the individual to choose how to address that

challenge, and learn how to succeed through it. Our advice, suggestions, nagging, controlling, and downright nosy interference – no matter how well-intentioned – may not be aligned with their highest and best good.

Here are three questions you can ask yourself to help determine if your well-intentioned support is actually helping or potentially hurting the success of your friend or family member.

1. Do they see the need for a change? The most valuable support you may have to offer is to help them see the need for a change. They won’t be willing or able to effectively follow any steps or suggestions provided by you or anyone else until they believe a change is needed and has value for them.

If they complain about their situation, ask them the following questions: How do you want it to be instead? What can you do to help make that happen? What skills or resources do you need as support? Help them notice how their answers accept or avoid their personal accountability for success or failure.

2. Do they recognize you as a coach/knowledgeable source to help them address the problem? If they know you have dealt with a similar challenge, they admire your success, and they accept you as an authority for this purpose, you may be the ideal person to help them.

However, if you are someone they have a high regard for, or if they feel competitive with you, they may be hesitant or embarrassed to truly reveal to you their weaknesses and troubles. If this is the case, encourage them to find someone else they can trust and be vulnerable with. Remind them that if they have been stuck on this challenge for more than six months or a year, they definitely need help from someone to resolve how to move forward.

If you aren’t the best fit for that role, you can still encourage them to share their progress and frustrations with you.

3. What is their definition of success in dealing with the challenge? As you may have gathered from my comments above, wanting to make a challenge simply go away or have someone else deal with it is more about avoidance or denial than success.

It is important for the person with the challenge to clarify what they would consider success in dealing with their challenge effectively. In addition, identifying a mutually respected definition of success with a coach or support team will help them mark their improvement. As they begin to learn their skills and make progress, their definition of success may grow and expand.

Once you can swim one length of the pool, you can swim more laps and learn additional strokes.

Victory with baby steps often opens up their vision to allow for a bigger and brighter possibility for the ultimate outcome.

On the face of it, helping out someone who is struggling with a challenge doesn’t sound like it could be a bad thing. And often it isn’t. However, use the questions above to help identify a role you can most effectively play to support your friend or family member in overcoming a challenge. Consciously choose how to help someone you care about in a way that doesn’t hurt their opportunities to: learn, be accountable, and achieve empowered success.

Wini Curley, Ph.D. is a Resilience Expert, Speaker, and Executive Coach. She shows leaders and their organizations how to energize their next win - whether they are on a roll or in a hole. In 2002, Wini became an entrepreneur and left a 20-year corporate career cleaning up environmental hazardous waste sites.

Now, she helps clients clean up toxic habits, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that contaminate their path to success.

Clients say Wini’s keen intuition, judgement-free approach, and energy techniques all help free them to release frustrations and blocks and accelerate toward what they really want.

Wini has coached successful leaders and entrepreneurs across 3 continents. Clean up the toxicities big or small at the leadership level, and watch the business and its people grow and flourish.

Learn more about Wini and her programs at www.WiniCurley.com and www.GiftsFromWini.com

mymagazinemediagroup.com 53

SO YOU WANT TO GIVE UP.

And Then What?

by Liberty Forrest

You want to give up. Okay. I can relate to that.

But first, be very clear about one thing: there’s a big difference between ‘giving up’, and accepting that a situation will not be improved by your further efforts. And sometimes, to continue might even be to your detriment. The trick is in figuring out which is which.

54 | MY Magazine

If you do give up, what will happen? Or what won’t happen? And can you live with whatever that is in either case?

Will it keep you stuck and not allow you to move forward?

things. It can make everything seem bigger, worse, heavier, more. So if you think that’s a big part of why you want to give up, perhaps you could just take a rest instead.

If you’re thinking about giving up, I’ll bet you’re really tired.

But is that the reason you want to give up? Being tired can distort your perception of

Maybe you’re feeling like one of those big, inflatable clowns that kids punch in the face so it falls over, but then it springs back up.

Maybe you’ve been punched so

and miserable on the floor. If you get back up and try again, there is always the chance for improvement. If you don’t, there isn’t. Yes, you might get knocked down again but so what? It sucks, I know, but is that a good reason to stop trying?

To accept that it sucks and sit there and complain about how miserable things are?

I guess that’s your choice, but if you want to feel better, then you have to keep trying until you are quite clearly shown that it’s time to stop and do something else instead.

Sooner or later, the Universe will get bored with your refusal to give up. Or you’ll learn to brace yourself for the punches and not get knocked down and then you’ll be punching the air and yelling, “Checkmate!”

But at the minute, your king’s in peril. Your pawns are almost gone. And you’ve lost a bishop and a rook. Yet you’ve still got your queen.

often, you’re deflated, flattened, and you think you can’t get back up yet again.

Yeah, I can relate to that, too.

So haul out the repair kit, patch up the tear, and get up again.

I’m well aware that in doing so, you’re essentially saying to the Universe, “Okay! Bring it on!

Slam me again!”

But even if all you get is flattened one more time, you can still pop back up again. And again. And again. You just have to decide to do it. Yeah, I know you might have reached a point where you really don’t want to get up one more time, and you’re asking me, why do you have to decide to do it?

Do you expect life to be easy?

Okay, so maybe you’re thinking it didn’t have to be this hard. Well, I have no answers about why it is. I can speculate, but it doesn’t really mean anything in the grand scheme of things. Whatever possible reasons there might be as to why life has to be so impossibly miserable sometimes are really just our helpless human ramblings, our feeble attempts at making ourselves feel better.

It’s quite simple, really. Life sucks if you just stay there, deflated

We don’t know whether it’s all ‘meant to be’ or random, mymagazinemediagroup.com 55

wouldn’t have been bothering if there wasn’t going to be some benefit for you.

So why would you throw that away, unless you’re absolutely certain that you’ve done all you can do, and that it is really and truly time to accept that you cannot do any more?

The bottom line is this: If accepting the situation and stopping is best for you, if continuing means you’re flogging a dead horse which will only prevent you from moving forward (and may, in fact, be detrimental to you), then do it.

But if you just can’t be bothered to try again, or if you’re just tired, slow down. Take a rest.

meaningless misery without a point. We don’t know whether we choose this stuff before we get here or whether it’s dumped on us by some Supreme Being who has decided it for us. We don’t know if it’s fate or free will or a little of both. We can guess, we can believe, but we do not really know.

And even if we did, would it change anything? Your life would still unfold as it’s going to unfold, whatever that means, and however it happens. Hating it because it’s hard, or being fed up and tired because it’s nothing but struggle - none of that will change even if you get some Big Brilliant Flash of Awareness with a personal memo from the Divine Source of All.

56 | MY Magazine

You’re still going to have to put one foot in front of the other and get through your life, one day at a time. Or one minute at a time, when it gets really bumpy.

So what are you going to do with those days? Those minutes?

Do you really think that giving up on the harder parts of life will make the rest of it any better?

Do you really think that if you look at your challenges and say, “I can’t! I quit!” that whatever comes after it will be better than it is now?

I rather doubt it. Because I’ll bet that whatever it is you’re trying to do, whatever it is that you want to give up on was designed to make the rest of your life better in some way. It would enhance, improve, or lead to something.

Whether it’s big or small, you

Look at the situation. Forget the pieces you’ve lost and remember your remaining bishop, your rook, and those few pawns. Remember your queen and how much power she wields. Then plot her next move.

And don’t stop until it’s the right thing to do.

Liberty Forrest is an award-winning inspirational author and Huffington Post contributor. For five years, she did frequent phone-ins on the BBC as a psychic/medium. With a background in social work and counselling, Liberty’s unique program uses a highly creative multifaceted approach to get people unstuck so that they can move forward in their personal and spiritual evolution.

Lynn Darmon PSYCHIC MEDIUM REIKI PRACTITIONER Lynn is a Psychic Medium born with clairvoyant, clairaudient and precognitive abilities. She first became aware of this gift at age five. As she grew older her abilities developed, receiving messages from the Other Side, first from family members who’d passed and then messages from loved ones of people around her.

Lynn describes this gift of guidance from Spirit as “Second Sight.”

During a reading, Lynn will take you on a journey from your past where she will peek into your childhood, to the present and offer you channeled guidance from Spirit as you continue on your Spiritual Path into your future.

Serving as a conduit between the Spirit World and this world, Lynn conveys messages from those who have passed with the intention of providing validation, healing and further guidance to their loved ones here.

Most recently featured on

Lynn has been featured on ABC’s 20/20, The Huffington Post, AOL, Yahoo News, The Oakland Press, The Detroit Jewish News, Eydis Magazine, MY Magazine, Body, Mind, Spirit Radio, the Lisa Bousson Show, and has been featured in the recently published book, “Everyday Oracles,” by Ann Bolinger-McQuade.

31224 Mulfordton • Ste. D • Farmington Hills • 248.860.1121 www.heavenswhisper.net • lynn@heavenswhisper.net Facebook: Medium Lynn Darmon SERVICES PROVIDED: In person • By phone • E-mail • Skype

• In home

mymagazinemediagroup.com 57

Talk to Tamara

Tamara, the relationship whisperer, is like a walking instruction manual for all of your love, dating. and relationship questions. Ask her your burning questions and she’ll guide you in the direction that is right for you.

by Tamara Green

Part 3 - Seven Powerful Secrets for Achieving Delicious Intimacy Would you like to experience delicious intimacy in your relationship? Good! Welcome to the final edition of a special 3-part series Survival Guide For Couples: Reigniting Intimacy. In last month’s column, I explained the four main culprits for erosion of intimacy: 1) Unintentionally hurting each other, 2) Overreactivity or drama, 3) Turning away or the White Elephant Syndrome and 4) Taking each other for granted. Today, I will share powerful tips on how to get some juicy intimacy flowing with your partner. These are the secrets to a healthy, long-lasting relationship.

SEVEN POWERFUL SECRETS ON HOW TO GET SOME OF THAT INTIMACY!

1

Imagine Intimacy

Imagination is powerful because beneath the images of the mind, you can tap into the realm of possibility. Like a goal

58 | MY Magazine

or a dream, envision what you want with your partner. What you imagine, so it is. Then, be grateful NOW for what you’ve envisioned before it’s even actualized. Gratitude is key because it’s the gateway to welcoming it into your life.

2

Be Trusting and Trustworthy Author,

John Gottman, has spent much of his career researching and writing about the behaviors of couples. He reports that trust is built in a culmination of lots of little moments between 2 people.

An example of this would be a husband saying to his wife, “Sweetie, I see that you are having a tough time right now. What do you need? How can I help you?”

Or, a wife telling her husband, “Thank you for fixing the wobbly doorknob. It’s things like this that make my day run a little easier.”

Another interesting trust-builder is asking for help. These examples of small gestures turn out to huge for building a trusting relationship.

3

Be Vulnerable, Honest and Authentic

If you’re struggling, say so. It’s an amazing opportunity for intimacy with your partner. Here’s what vulnerability, honesty, and authenticity sound like, “Honey, I’m really upset about something and I need a sounding board. Can you help me by listening to my problem and let me know if I’m overreacting?” By letting your partner into your world, he or she feels included and helpful while you feel taken care of.

4

Pause Feel and Breathe –

This tip is especially for those couples that tend to have drama in their relationship. Whenever you feel stressed and ready to spew your reactive comments and judgments toward your partner, do these three things instead: •

Pause: Stop what you are doing/saying

•

Notice how you feel: Acknowledge to yourself what you are feeling (anger,

“The fastest road to delicious intimacy is to give your partner exactly what it is that you desire.”

– Tamara Green, LCSW (@tamaragreen4u)

mymagazinemediagroup.com 59

frustration, sadness, etc.).

Labeling your feeling is the first step to calming your emotions.

•

Take ten deep breaths: Getting oxygen into your system always begins the calming process.

In Part 1 of this series, you learned about the over-reactive Amygdala in your brain and how it goes into the ‘fight-or-flight’ response. Using these calming techniques will give your frontal cortex, the rational part of your brain, a chance to be in charge instead.

60 | MY Magazine

5

Blame-Free Zone Have

a place in your home where you and your partner agree is the “Blame-Free Zone.” This is a safe room (or part of a room or area) where absolutely no judgments, criticisms, verbal attacks are allowed. This is your place to pause, have fun, and relax. Asking for time alone in your “Blame-Free Zone” is perfectly fine. This zone is the area where you and your partner can re-group, which gives you the opportunity to change your patterns of drama and repetitive arguments.

6

Practice Communication

Next time you have a meal together, turn off your cell phones and just talk. Take turns asking questions and listening. True communication is more about listening than offering suggestions and solutions and can sound something like this: “I had a stressful day at work today.”

“Why, what happened?”

“There was a last-minute change that I had to make in my presentation.”

state of intimacy. If you tried the techniques above and still are struggling, pursue one or more of the following:

“Wow! How’d you handle that?”

“I was able to pull it off, but I had to reschedule my lunch plans with a prospective client to make it happen.”

“But you did it. That’s fantastic!”

In this conversation, you can see that the communication included active listening, support and validation, which are key for intimacy.

7

Professional Help

Sometimes, couples need extra help to achieve an improved

•

Seek a marriage counselor or relationship coach

•

Attend a personal growth course together

•

Attend a meditation or couples retreat together

Any of these suggestions can be the very thing that turns your relationship around for the better.

Want free relationship advice right away? Take advantage of Tamara’s free 45-minute guidance session where you will finally get clarity and relief from your dating or relationship struggles.

Whether you are single or are experiencing relationship upset, by clicking here, you no longer have to figure this out alone

Copyright 2017, Tamara Green, LCSW. All Rights Reserved

Elle Magazine dubs Tamara Green, LCSW “The Soulcentered Love Expert.” She is an author, speaker and trainer, helping thousands of people to navigate the waters of love, dating and relationships – all while falling madly in love with themselves in the process. Trained as a Love Mentor® by Dr. Diana Kirschner, Individual and Couples Psychotherapist, Meditation Practitioner and Hypnotherapist, Tamara’s coaching is highly effective as she combines her many years of professional training with her gifts as an energy healer, intuitive and seer. As a result, Tamara creates an exciting catalyst for deep emotional healing, giving her clients greater success in life and love. She has devoted her life to helping women rise out of pain and fear so they can finally experience the long lasting and loving relationship of their dreams. As well as working 1-on-1, Tamara offers free weekly meditation audios that take you on a journey of love with ease and joy.

Join Tamara’s community at tamaragreen.me; Facebook facebook.com TGreenLoveExpert; youtube: youtube.com/channel/ UC9MqTnZEJYNEpKnwrjsZ40A mymagazinemediagroup.com 61

62 | MY Magazine

Dear Beautiful Upside You...

by Lisa Marie Platske

You’ve got this.

How do I see this and recognize it as truth?

I just do.

You’ll have to trust me on this one.

Oh, that trust thing again.

It really can be that ea=sy to breathe in and believe that you are seen for all of your brilliance.

Remember when you were 19 and you had all of the answers.

You thought you could save the world -- all by yourself.

You set out with your dreams packed up nice and neat in that rumpled old backpack of yours ready to champion your cause......

You began your trek incredibly passionate about how you were going to change the world, armed with wild ideas and fancy thoughts.

You had it all mapped out with precision and a little fun thrown in for good measure.

And, how you’d figured that by the time you got to today everything would have worked out according to your plan?

That by now, everything would be “perfect” and in its perfect place? mymagazinemediagroup.com 63

Oh, how you knew in the core of your being that your life would be celebrated.

mediocre.

You were born for greatness – and greatness doesn’t always come packaged neatly with a bow on top like in one of those Hallmark commercials.

struggled to stay patient with his bounciness •

Sometimes greatness is messy and complicated and looks a little funny.

The smile you gave when you held the door open for the man who was struggling to carry his shopping bags while holding the hand of his 2-year old daughter

•

Your BIG mission and plan would have revealed itself to you with fireworks and celebration, and your awkwardness would have transformed itself into poise and grace so that you now finally fit in.

Let me remind you, you get to make a difference every day with every word and every action.

The prayer you offered up for a someone who looked like they were having a hard day

•

•

The card you sent to your friend who has been struggling with heartache

The warm embrace you gave to your colleague who just found out that her Mom has breast cancer

The way you spoke to the little kid in the restaurant when he couldn’t manage to contain his energy and sit still in the booth behind you – and the loving gesture you gave to his Mom as she

•

All of this so you could make a difference in the world.

•

The trip you took to visit a family member just when she needed to see you

That you’d be embraced for who you are.

That the things you wrote in your journal would have happened like in the fairytales you read about as a kid.

Little did you realize, you weren’t born to fit in.

You weren’t born for average or

64 | MY Magazine

Do you ever really stop to understand the difference you are making?

it feels as if life is about taking out the trash, doing another load of laundry, and picking up groceries at Costco.

You have a special purpose, mission, and calling - and you’ve got to believe that for your 19 year-old-self and your 59 year-oldself and for yourself right now.

You’ve got this.

So, I invited you to do something to celebrate you today.

Do you?

Extraordinary moments start in the here and now.

Or, you may feel unnoticed, unimportant, or undervalued.

Sigh.

In the present.

Don’t let that stop you.

And, that’s the gift.

The world needs you and your brilliance.

You are making your mark on the world right now.

Every drop of love has the ability to ripple across the planet and explode into a miracle, touching countless hearts along the way.

Sure, no one may see all of the good that you’re doing but this was never about them anyway.

Keep doing good because it is making a difference.

And I’ve seen that happen with my own eyes.

Every.

Why do you think that only the BIG things matter?!?

Action.

Sometimes the smallest actions leave the biggest mark on the world and in someone’s life.

I’m living proof of that.

Single.

Right now, you may feel as if you keep giving and giving of yourself and wonder where all of this is going to get you.

Yet, I get it.

You are making a much-needed difference.

The world seems to celebrate with great fanfare the most heroic moments in time.

Or, perhaps you feel that, hey, you’ve only got one life and you are running out of time.

And, every time you give of yourself even just a little, you take a risk - and sometimes your good deeds get trampled on.

That couldn’t be further from the truth.

It takes courage to trust when

You are making a difference.

Your life matters.

You matter.

Yes, you’ve got this.

With love from someone who sees you, Your Soul’s Deepest Wisdom Lisa Marie Platske left her action-packed life as a Federal law enforcement officer to become the CEO of international leadership company, Upside Thinking, Inc. An award-winning leadership expert and #1 best-selling international author of 4 books, she takes her law enforcement journey which began on the piers of New York and ended post 9/11 and shares what exceptional leaders do differently and how to be positioned as an expert in order to seize big opportunities. As a certified master coach, Lisa Marie coaches women in business around the globe. With experience working with clients in over 20 different industries, her proven 7-step formula has resulted in her clients being seen, heard, and recognized for their work without having to change who they are. The founder of Design Your Destiny LIVE (www.

DesignYourDestinyLive), she lives in Alexandria, Virginia with her loving and supportive husband Jim and their two pet foxes.

mymagazinemediagroup.com 65

FINDING THE ABUN IN OUR LIVES

Dance

66 | MY Magazine

by Janette Stuart

H

ere we are in the long days of summer when time can seem to stand still as we enjoy the abundance of daylight and relaxation. Many of us are taking vacations, enjoying gathering with friends and family and doing favorite activities. Abundance has many more meanings than just financial abundance.

There is the abundance of time, resources, and ideas to consider. What abundance are you looking for today, dear one? I love how the word DANCE shines forth in the word abundance; abunDANCE. We dance at our celebrations, such as weddings, parties or evenings out. We dance and it makes us feel better. We dance to honor the occasion. Today, as you experience abundance in its many forms, I invite you to do a little dance of celebration. It need not be a physical dance; an imaginary dance will do just fine. In fact, I am a glorious dancer in my imagination.

As you are out in nature, do you experience the abundance of beauty? It is one of my favorite ways to reconnect to the joy of my spirit. I love to gaze at the sky, morning or evening, as there is always a message for me in the clouds and the stars. What abundance, nature. I am so grateful for the beauty of creation.

The Law of Attraction, made popular by AbrahamHicks, states that what we focus upon expands; giving our attention to something brings more of that thing into our lives. If we want more joy, we focus on joy. If we want more love, we focus on love. If we want more abundance, we focus on abundance. Today, let’s focus on the goodness, the abundance in our lives. Let’s do a little abunDANCE. Here are a few ideas to begin (in no order of importance): 1.

Sunshine

2.

Time

3.

Nature

4.

My home

mymagazinemediagroup.com 67

5.

My family

6.

My friends

7.

Food

8.

Resources

9.

My health

10. My spiritual connection Now, let’s savor (or do an imaginary dance for) each item a bit more fully to attract more abundance into our lives.

For example, item number 1.

Sunshine My DANCE of abundance using the topic of sunshine could be: I love how the long days of summer are filled with sunshine.

I love how the sun feels on my skin. I love the way my garden looks as it is so lush with the gift of sunshine.

I enjoy the way my body feels, the way my skin glows with the additional sun. When the sun is shining, I am more inclined to want to go out and get together with friends or loved ones. See how good the savoring feels? It increases our level of joy and increases the abundance in our lives.

Beautiful one, I invite you to make your own list of AbunDANCE items today and to spend a few minutes thinking and delighting in each item. You will discover that the more you focus on the abundance that you currently have, the more abundance you will attract.

Here’s room for you to build your own list:

• _________________________ • _________________________ • _________________________ • _________________________ • _________________________ • _________________________ • _________________________ • _________________________ • _________________________ • _________________________ May you delight in the gift of today, dear one. May abundance move its way into the forefront of your life. I hope that this article helps spark abunDANCE more fully into your life. Today, I honor you in your quest for abundance and know that more goodness is on the way. I am delighting in the gift of abundance of time in my life and doing my soul’s work with my business of being an angelic practitioner at Angel Angles. You are invited to visit and check out what’s new at http://www.angel-angles.com.

I’m Janette Stuart, Founder of Angel Angles which is my labor of love. I have wanted to express my soul’s work in a more visible way and am now devoting more time to Angel Angles since my retirement in 2015. Angel Angles exists to spread more love, joy and peace into the world. I have always loved to write, I write every day. I write longhand in several different journals as well as type electronically. I have always loved handwriting, the sending of cards and notes, the keeping of a journal or diary. My first book, “On a Path of Joy” will be available in September. I am thrilled. My hope is that the book will help the reader develop or enhance their relationship with their Creator.

I am a grateful member of and core blogger for The Wellness Universe. The Wellness Universe is an evolutionary community of members who are positively impacting the world in one or more of the 7 areas of wellness. As a lifelong empath, I have experienced people’s feelings deeply. I have a deep compassion for my fellow man and love deeply. I choose to live a joy filled life each day and hope to help others do the same. Joy is my focus word for 2016. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area with my husband of 33 years, Mark, and our rescue boxer dog, Spike. We have a grown son, Max, who is happily serving in the Coast Guard. I am a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, neighbor as well as an angelic practitioner.

Besides writing, I am a lifelong learner, who reads daily, I also enjoy walking in nature, sky watching, cooking, RVing along the California Coast and visiting with friends and family. Some of my most requested recipes are Asian Chicken Salad and Sticky Toffee Pudding.

68 | MY Magazine

ADVERTISING THAT WORKS

Be seen in MY Authentic Life Magazine

info@mymediagroup.com

SIMPLY Spiritual

THE DREAM EXPERTS

What Does Your Dream Mean?

by Kathryn and Patrick Andries

Dear Dream Expert,

Dear Searching,

I have had this reoccurring dream over the past two years. I am usually very intuitive, but I can’t figure this one out. It is always a completely different setting; however, the theme is always the same. I am in great need to find a restroom.

There is always a public restroom around, usually with many stalls, but there is something wrong with each of them. The stall is too dirty, clogged with filth, or has a broken door. As my need grows, I am forced to choose one, and it is always one without a door or walls. Everyone can see me doing my business. I am always embarrassed and humiliated.

Searching for a restroom in a dream indicates a need to release thoughts and/or feelings that are unproductive for you. The restrooms never measure up to your desire, which indicates that you do not feel well equipped to be able to go about the task of releasing these unwanted thoughts and/or feelings. You feel embarrassed by this need to release and by the process of doing it. Look in your life for where you are letting go of old ways of being and learn to love and appreciate this as a sign that you are learning and growing.

Sincerely, Searching 72 | MY Magazine

Dear Dream Expert,

Dear No Worries,

My dream started in a waiting area, perhaps a bus terminal, yet it was much larger than a bus terminal and many more people. A woman whom I attended college with was doing her best to have a conversation with me. I recall not being very interested in what she had to say because she was usually very dismissive and unhelpful. She really wanted to talk to me, but I excused myself. The bus was running late.

A place similar to an office was a few rooms away and I went to what was apparently my desk and sat for a moment. I looked around the room and felt very reflective and thought of my past, present, and future as I looked around. I remember speaking to actor Michael De Lorenzo. He was very conversational and seemed to be on the same path that I was on and very much in alignment with the way I was thinking and speaking. I remember suddenly someone saying “The buses are here!� For some reason, I was gathering things from the desk even though I had already packed for the trip.

I remember taking my time and not being in a rush. I saw that there were at least four buses and they were picking up passengers from a mall parking lot in the morning hours. I saw the buses pulling off and yet I was not worried because I had the phone number of one of the bus drivers and a co-worker that was on another bus. Thus, I had no worry of being left behind.

A bus is a vehicle capable of carrying many people. A large vehicle represents a group or organization. You interact with many others and this stimulates many different aspects of your inner self. The woman you are avoiding is a part of yourself where you are self-dismissive and you desire to avoid this part of yourself.

An office is a place where goals are achieved.

This is where you retreated as you began to reflect on your life. Michael De Lorenzo is an actor and so represents a part of you that is good at pretending. This part of you can be skilled in imagining new ways of being, but be careful not to get caught up in pretense.

The buses leaving represent opportunities for being a part of different organizations coming and going in your life. You are not concerned about this because you know that you have connections to be able to participate when you want to. Look in your life to where you may have opportunities to participate with others and may be dismissive of yourself. You are reflective of this and imagine being different.

You are allowing these opportunities to come and go, but you do have a sense that you can participate when you choose.

Sincerely, No Worries

Kathryn and Patrick Andries, the Dream Experts, are teachers and co-founders of the School of Intuitive Arts and Sciences. www.intuitiveschool.com.

Kathryn and Patrick Andries are the dream experts. They are the authors of the recently released book from Ozark Mountain Publishing, Naked in Public: Dream Symbols Revealed, and The Dream Doctor. If you would like a dream interpreted, please send it in the body of an e-mail to: intuitiveschool@sbcglobal.net. Learn more about their books at www.ozarkmt.com.

mymagazinemediagroup.com 73

A CALL FOR COMPASSION

by David Larson

I

once worked with a woman who had been repeatedly abused by her husband for many years. She was crying because so many of her friends and extended family had told 74 | MY Magazine

her she was “foolish” and “stupid” for staying with him.

They had no concept of how much she loved him, nor did they understand how frightened she was of being on her own.

“I bet it is terrifying for you to think you might be abandoned and left alone,” I said, as she again burst into tears, this time out of relief that someone had understood her deepest fears.

make choices in their own best interest. People can most easily change when they have the safety and support to explore what is true for them in an environment of love and nonjudgment.

I worked as a counselor at a halfway house for runaway youth in Minnesota when I was in college. While working the night shift one chilly winter, I responded to someone ringing the doorbell about 1:30 a.m.

When I answered the door, I found a 14-year-old girl standing in front of me. It was clear she needed some help.

After getting her a cup of hot cocoa and a blanket to help her warm up, I listened as she began to tell me about her life. She had been on the streets for nearly a year after escaping an alcoholic and abusive father and a mother who could not protect her.

She said she had been able to keep eating by making money as a prostitute.

Judging or condemning someone seldom motivates them to change (as we secretly hope), but usually drives them into deeper alienation, diminishing their ability to

Her activities meant more to her than food, however. What struck me most was when she told me about how when she was having sex with a man, any man, even though it did not seem rational, she could feel, at least for a few moments, like she was loved.

Even if it was just for sex, for a few minutes, someone wanted her. How desperate was her need for love that she would go to these extreme lengths to get it? It would do us all well to understand the pain of this desperation.

If we are to have peace in the world, we must see that we are all looking for the same things - to be loved and accepted, to be seen and heard, to be valued as human beings, to be supported and nurtured into the best we can be. We must see every other human being as if he or she is our self in another person’s body and circumstances. We must be able to see everyone is doing the best he or she can and is in need of our compassion. Instead of being afraid of each other, we need to put the Golden Rule into practice: – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Who in your life needs you to see the scared child within her?

Who needs your compassion rather than your judgment?

Where can you cut people some slack and remind yourself they are doing the best they can with what they have?

If you pay attention, you will hear calls for compassion all around you. I encourage you to answer the call. As you do, peace will flow into your heart.

David is a licensed psychologist in private practice who has been leading people into life fulfillment for more than thirty years. His work with Kate Sholonski at Triumph Leadership Group involves creating and sustaining healthy and productive relationships in the workplace. David is a contributing author to four books, has been a TV talk show host, and resides in rural Minnesota with his wife, Carol. mymagazinemediagroup.com 75

Forgiveness

by Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC

“Isn’t there someone here, living, right now in your life that you need to reach out to, and connect with, or even forgive?”

– John Holland, Medium

76 | MY Magazine

P

hysician, Dr. Ira Byock says, “Many people confuse forgiveness with exoneration.

Forgiveness does not excuse someone from doing something wrong. Instead, forgiveness accepts the past as it was, embraces the present, and faces the future. Forgiveness is a strategy for you to become free of emotional baggage.”

Forgiveness is acceptance. A realization that what you wish was different in your past will never be. When you free yourself from the wishes of what wasn’t (and therefore can’t be), you open yourself to a peacefilled present, and to all the possibilities of your future. Forgiveness is empowerment. It means that you stop seeing yourself as the victim and take your power back.

John Holland continues. “Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean releasing the person from responsibility for their past actions. It’s a matter of releasing the anguish that your soul is carrying around with it. Whether they deserve to be forgiven or not, just remember that you’re doing it for yourself.”

If you have been harmed by another I recommend that you read my October 2015 article in “MY” entitled “Emotion: Anger is Not a Primary One” to deal with any anger from this situation. Next, shift the situation energetically: Relax into a quiet meditative space and look at the beautiful being that you are without fear and resentment. “I fill myself with Light. May I remember again, that sense of perfect safety that I have known.

May I feel again the love and security that is mine.

May I regain, with peace and love, the Knowing that my Highest Wisdom understands about this situation or individual. I ask that I continue to connect with my Highest Self and my Guides so that I may continue to experience the world with love, security, and peace. I release all ways that this old situation defined me, and I move into my future in peace.”

Forgiveness doesn’t just pertain to others. Forgiving the self is an important aspect of Becoming Who You

Really Are. You have played many roles. You have recognized the times that you were a victim.

You are learning to acknowledge how you are a master. Seeing that you have also been the perpetrator may be harder to reconcile. Don’t shy away from any of this. Forgiveness – as – acceptance means acceptance (and therefore forgiveness) of ALL of your aspects. Author Lewis B. Smedes said: “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” So I recommend that you repeat the exercise above to shift and release anyways that you are imprisoning yourself.

In light of the rampant fear and hate in our society, I offer this more global technique for forgiveness as well: Breathe gently and fully into your heart, and feel it expand.

78 | MY Magazine

Envelop your loved ones with peace and good will. Now expand those feelings, and your heart energy, to reach out to your community, filling and surrounding it with love and good will. Expand it outwards with the intention of including groups that had been formerly described as “different” – be it race, gender, ethnicity, religion, etc. Connect now with the individuals that create these groups and see them as individuals. Recognize them now as not much different than yourself. See into their Essence and see their differences decrease further. If you wish, select an individual who represents a different culture.

See the person before you and envelop them in Light. Allow your heart energy to approach and envelop the person.

(Feel free to recognize your separateness if you wish.) See

within to their Essence.

Recognize that just as you have encountered personal challenges, they have as well. Allow for the greatness of all that they were to be visible to you, and honor that space within them.

Breathe gently, filling yourself and the planet with peace. When you feel this is complete, take a purposeful breath and bring your awareness back to your body. See yourself in this room in the clothes that you chose to wear today.

Let your breath bring awareness to your body, wiggle your fingers and toes, and open your eyes.

These exercises can be done anytime, anywhere, and as frequently as you wish. Thank you for helping to bring love, understanding, and peace to your personal and global community. If you have any questions about these processes or the concepts herein, don’t hesitate to reach out to me.

Judy Lipson is a licensed, professional counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.

Let us know if you are interested in writing, we are changing the world one article at a time!

info@mymediagroup.com mymagazinemediagroup.com 79

WHY PERSONAL POWER IS IMPORTANT TO YOUR

SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT

by Dr. Kate Siner

80 | MY Magazine

U

nderstanding why personal power is important to your spiritual development begins with understanding that personal development and spiritual development are interdependent, mutualistic processes. The idea that each of these processes is separate and strictly secular/spiritual is a misconception that will prevent us from truly claiming our personal power.

Personal development resources take many forms, but they often manifest on one of two paths: a spiritual path or a secular path. In my experience, people in need (or in hope) of developing themselves turn to their spirituality or they turn to therapy. Each of these paths boasts many strengths and some shortcomings. Neither is inherently “better� than the other, but both tend to leave out some of the valuable components of the other.

THE IMPORTANCE OF EACH PATH

Having a toolkit of personal development skills will help you go deeper in your spirituality.

Likewise, your spirituality will help keep you grounded and centered as you work your way through personal development practices. Each of these paths offers value that will enable you to reach a level of personal clarity beyond what can be found by just pursuing a single path alone.

mymagazinemediagroup.com 81

spiritual capacity are gained, much more so than the peak experiences and other epiphanies we might be lucky to have. Each test that comes our way is an opportunity to learn and to grow by recognizing our role in its creation.

“Swami Veda says that whenever he gets sick first he thanks the Lord himself that he has the opportunity to close himself and he

WHY PERSONAL POWER IS IMPORTANT TO YOUR SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT

In the same way that spiritual development provides a firm foundation from which to begin personal development, personal development is part of the essential groundwork that spiritual development is built on. Our personal power, or our empowerment, is a critical component of our spiritual development. Here is why.

Spiritual Development Demands Humility: The more that we grow in our spiritual power, the greater the problems that can be created by our unchecked egoic needs. Because of this, it is essential that we are humble and true.

“Please let me say it loud and clear, the more you powerful are, the more your actions will 82 | MY Magazine

have an impact on people. The more responsible you are to act humbly. If you don’t your power will ruin you and you will ruin the other.” -- Pope Francis Without a sense of personal power, one is subject to the whims of the ego. One uses power to cover up for their limitations. Personal power is not power over. It is the power of choice and being right-sized. It allows us to know our limitations as well as acknowledge our greatness.

It provides the foundation for being humble and therefore worthy of our spiritual development.

Spiritual Development is Challenging. There is not a single person on a spiritual path who goes untested.

The tests, both successfully met and not, are means by which wisdom, impact, and

goes into silence. So each time he has pain he just closes his eyes and he thanks that now I have an opportunity to look within more.” -- Pandit Hari Shankar Dabral Personal Power helps us to be strong enough to ask the important question, how have I helped to create this problem? Without a toolkit of skills developed in our personal development work, we are unable to do this in a healthy way. We may blame the other party or situation or we blame ourselves when we ask the question. Either way, our spiritual development is curtailed.

Spiritual Development Requires Effort. To develop ourselves spiritually, we need to maintain continued focus and applied effort. There are no spiritual gains made by sloth or

inactivity. Our outcomes are the direct result of the effort that we put in. This continued effort is the act of devotion. Devotion yields powerful results on our spiritual journey.

“That’s exactly it.

True devotion only appears when we have just one desire and feel that we will die if we cannot realize that desire.”

–Paulo Coelho Without developing ourselves personally, we are unable to act from our adult self on a consistent and regular basis.

This inability gets in the way of any sustained effort on our part. The ramifications of being unable to sustain our efforts is

larger or smaller based on the place we are in our spiritual development. Some people have spiritual awakenings that are not in balance with their personal development, throwing them into experiences that challenge their mental health.

techniques, combined with values work and strategic planning, to root out your limiting obstacles and eliminate them. Create space for your growth! Learn more: katesiner.com/work-with-me/1to-1-with-dr-kate/personal breakthrough-intensive

Personal development and spiritual development have may areas of overlap. However, they also provide some unique skills, techniques, and insights that support us in becoming our full self. I encourage you to dive into both!

Dr. Kate Siner is an award-winning Entrepreneurial and Personal Development mentor, speaker, author, and radio show host. Kate has a Ph.D. in Psychology and years of both clinical and coaching experience. Her passion is to help people move past whatever holds them back so that they may embrace all they can be. Kate has developed a series of successful personal development programs, newest of which is LifeWork Virtual. Learn more at www. katesiner.com or at admin@katesiner.com.

Looking to capitalize on the work you’ve done in your personal and spiritual development? Sign up for a one-day Personal Breakthrough Intensive with Dr. Kate Siner. You’ll use extensively researched and highly effective emotional and mental release

____________________________

UPCOMING EVENTS:

GROUP HEALING INTENSIVE Ready to take your personal development journey to the next level?

The power of Group Healing Intensive is that it allows you, in a weekend, to do the amount of personal transformational work that would take years of traditional therapy to accomplish. If you’ve done personal development work in the past and feel ready to go further to achieve truly life-changing transformation, this intensive is for you. Learn more: http://katesiner.com/ work-with-me/personaldevelopment-programs/ group-healing-intensive/

mymagazinemediagroup.com 83

Write For MY Authentic Living Magazine

“The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe.”

84 | MY Magazine

–Gustave Haubert

mymagazinemediagroup.com mymagazinemediagroup.com 85

Wealth Consciousness

Manifest your destiny

88 | MY Magazine

10

WAYS TO BOOST YOUR GENEROSITY

by Ellen Rogin, CPA, CFP®

Y

ou’ve likely been taught since you were a little kid that it’s good to share and to help others.

Now, as adults, we’re generous not just because it’s the right thing to do. The dirty little secret about giving is that it feels great! As a prosperity expert, I also see it as one of the biggest drivers to leading a prosperous life.

Yet, in our busy lives, it’s so easy to put attention on what needs to get done that the importance of focusing attention on other people can go by the wayside.

Here are 10 easy ways to flex your generosity muscles:

1

Donate smiles In a time when most people have their heads bowed in deep “conversation” with their smartphones, make actual eye contact with someone and … smile. Watch what happens.

Some people will look away, others will smile and then awkwardly look away, and some people might actually smile back. I do this often when I’m at the airport and love seeing the reactions I get and how good it feels. There is so little interaction with strangers these days – buck the trend!

2

Be a Secret Santa throughout the year Imagine how you’d feel if your

mymagazinemediagroup.com 89

almost-expiring parking meter were mysteriously fed, if the barista told you that an earlier customer said to pay for the next customers until the $25 gift card ran out, or if someone had cleared the snow off your car (for those reading this living in warm climates this would totally rock). Try giving this type of unexpected joy to a stranger and see how it feels. I parked my husband’s car at a friend’s house when I traveled with her one weekend. When I brought the car home my husband asked, “Did you get my car washed?” Well, no I hadn’t.

He finally figured out that my friend’s husband had washed it as a random act of kindness.

This small act was a big hit that won’t easily be forgotten.

3

Write a letter of gratitude It’s well established that

90 | MY Magazine

gratitude makes you feel happier and healthier. Why not bestow a gift of the expression of your gratitude to someone in your life in the form of a note. Perhaps there was a grade school teacher who left an indelible mark on your life you have never thanked. Or, tell your mom how incredible she is and how much you love and appreciate her and why.

I’ve written letters to both of my kids and my husband about what I love and appreciate about them. I like to believe I tell them these things often and that they know, but getting a handwritten letter has a big impact.

4

Become a mentor You likely didn’t have the wins in your life all by yourself. Many of us lucky ones have had mentors and coaches along the way to propel our

success. Who can you mentor?

Who can you help along their path more quickly based upon your guidance? Sometimes you don’t even realize your caring guidance has already made a difference in the life of another person. When I was in college a female stock broker I met during a summer job (there weren’t that many back then) said to me, “Ellen, get your CPA. You’ll never be sorry.” I listened and I was grateful for her advice. She’s since passed away, but I suspect she would not have remembered giving me that guidance.

5

Appreciate someone who doesn’t often get thanked My husband and I were recently at the ticket counter at O’Hare airport trying to use travel vouchers we had received after being bumped off a flight. The ticket agent said it’s a complicated process and might take a while. It actually took close to 90 minutes to get three different flights booked.

While I waited at the counter I witnessed two different travelers get abusive with the agents. One screamed at an agent because she was having trouble getting through security – which the agent had nothing to do with. The

other actually swore at the agent because it took him (in her mind) too long to check-in her comfort dog for the flight. Clearly, she needed a comfort animal! I never realized what a tough job ticket counter agents have. Who can you thank that often doesn’t get recognized for the work that they do? Thank the ticket agent and gate agent next time you’re at the airport, leave a note for your trash collector, or give a warm smile and a thank you to the toll collector.

6

Letter of inspiration Is there someone in your life who’s doing something you wish you could do? Maybe they grew their business more quickly than you’ve done. Or, they switched careers and are just loving their new gig. Maybe they found a fabulous relationship later in life. Instead of feeling a little envious, let them know how much they inspire you. Give them a call or write them a note and tell them how you admire them. Notice how you feel. I promise it will be good!

7

Give a hug over the phone Call someone you know who might be feeling a bit sad or lonely. Give them the gift of your time and attention. Better yet, pay them a visit.

8

Compliment 5 strangers today You know when you see someone walking down the street and you love their hair color – tell them! How about catching someone doing something

really nice. I was recently checking out at Trader Joes where the “crew member” was talking to a lovely older woman.

He asked, “Who are these cookies for?”

She replied, “My grandchildren. I really shouldn’t do it but…”

He said, “Oh, enjoy!”

As she was pulling out her card to pay he said, “I’ll be right back.” I watch him go over to the flowers and come back with a bouquet and put it in her cart. “These are because you are doing such a nice thing,” he told her. This woman’s face lit up – she was so surprised and so happy. As I was putting my groceries in my trunk she drove past me smiling. I went back into the store – told him how happy he made her and handed him a heart (from Spreading Hearts). “What you did was so nice - you’ve touched my heart,” I told him. Generosity has been shown to boost your happiness levels. Even seeing someone else be generous makes you happy. Who can you catch doing a good deed today?

you donate, get a receipt for your donation, and take the deduction on your tax return.

A less clutter-filled home, a worthy recipient, and a tax deduction. A win for all.

10

Give money Let’s not forgot how your financial resources can support people in need and causes you believe in.

One of the best ways to draw more prosperity to you is to loosen your grip on your money and use it as a force for doing good in the world.

9

Donate your stuff How many things in your home do you no longer enjoy or need? I bet a bunch!

Could someone else benefit from these items? Or is there a charity resale shop that could gain from selling your unwanted things? Keep track of what

www.ellenrogin.com

Ellen Rogin, CPA and CFP®, is an Abundance Activist® and coauthor of the New York Times best seller: Picture Your Prosperity: Smart Money Moves to Turn Your Vision into Reality. Learn more about Ellen and her programs at.

mymagazinemediagroup.com 91

HOW DO I DELIVER SOCIAL MEDIA THAT ENGAGES FANS AND CONVERTS TO SALES?

by Catherine Saykaly-Stevens

M

ost people want the same things from their social media: To have their social media posts seen by millions of people and drive those people to buy and subscribe.

Unfortunately, that isn’t how social media works.

There is a myth where social media is concerned. Does this sound familiar? Say it with me: If you build it they will come.

The iconic phrase worked well in the movie “Field of Dreams”, but it never did work for websites in the last decade and it doesn’t work in social media now.

92 | MY Magazine

The reality is that with billions of social media posts every day, over 89% of those posts are either unseen or ignored.

And while social media may appear to be financially free, it isn’t. It costs precious time.

Time you could have spent marketing successfully.

Here is the problem and solution in one statement: Social media alone does not lead to sales. Understand that there are exceptions to every rule and those few exceptions get promoted like they’ll happen for everyone else. They don’t.

However, there are other things that need to happen between

A) posting and B) sales.

When those steps are done correctly, it will help convert your social media to sales.

I’m going to simplify a complicated system for you.

In this order, you want your audience to: • See you

• Attracted by your social media, they check you out

media is to:

• Buy from you

• Be seen / visible / noticed

Not to mention that you also want your audience to return to your social media accounts often, bringing new friends with them, where they all buy from you again and again.

• Attract your target audience and get them to check you out

Your challenge with social

• Engage with your social media and interact with you • Convince them to buy from you

Oversimplified?

Not at all.

For every author, entrepreneur, coach, or speaker, your social media has a job to do. It is to act like a tireless ad promoting you and supporting you during the times when you cannot be face-to-face or even online at the same time with your audience. mymagazinemediagroup.com 93

Here is an easy formula to follow:

Post Compelling Content + Grow Fan Engagement = Increase Sales Conversion

Social media alone will NOT sell anything.

Post social media to support your campaign; not to sell. @CatherineNetWeb #quote (Yes, It IS Tweetable)

The three parts of this equation are: • Post Compelling Content to attract your target audience • Grow Fan Engagement from your target audience.

They become either fans (sometimes superfans) or perhaps remain a visitor. Write content that gets your fans engaging with your posts AND interacting with you so that they return again and again and bring their friends.

Fan Engagement helps turn visitors into more fans.

• After a period of time (differs) AND after you’ve provided value AND

you’ve gained their trust, a percentage will buy, converting into sales.

While there are many unseen additions to this formula, this is your Base Equation.

To post Compelling Content, you must know your target audience, what they want, and deliver it. You will post content that they recognize as a need or as what appeals to them.

There will be much trial and error along the way, but once you get it, it will become faster and easier to create more content.

Generating real Fan Engagement is no small feat.

Social media no longer becomes about posts, but rather about how you can get your audience to react (favorably) to each post. You want your fans and visitors to engage with your social media posts and interact with you in those same accounts.

That is what makes people return to your accounts. They liked what they saw before and want to return … often … and comment and share with their own audience and friends.

To write content with Fan Engagement appeal, you must think about how your target audience will react and interact even before you build each social media post. At the time of inception, ask yourself how you can draw your target audience in. Continue to keep this in mind when you craft new content. It will take time to learn to do automatically, but is so worthwhile and rewarding in the long run.

94 | MY Magazine

Try this:

The next time you create content, think about being your target audience. Is what you’re about to create what they want to see, read, hear, watch?

Can you refocus and repurpose the content you’re about to create?

Also, are you really using your best pieces to attract your target audience? Are you using the best graphics, colors, fonts, examples, models, videos, words? Do you need to get more specific?

With just a slight shift in the

way you present your content when you know what your audience wants, you increase the fan engagement factor tenfold. Writing further engaging content becomes easier and faster. The more fan engagement energy you create, the closer you are to driving sales conversion.

Much success with your projects!

I invite you to drop me notes on Twitter (where I live online) @ CatherineNetWeb What would be most helpful for you now?

Catherine Saykaly-Stevens of TheNetworkingWeb.com is an author, speaker, and trainer – a social media Consultant who specializes in Extraordinary FanEngagement. She mentors entrepreneurs, authors, speakers, and coaches on how to grow their fan-engagement deepening their connection to their community. This leads to audience growth, influence building, and sales conversions. She does that with one on one consulting and the Social Media Quick Start and Quick Results Programs.

Catherine is also on the Social Media team of the Evolutionary Business Council (EBC) with a collective reach of 141 Million and is the co-host of two shows: ‘EBE-Live’ and ‘Social Buzz U’. Catherine also offers a free, weekly Social Media Influence Builder. This weekly email delivers a quick tip and how to implement.

Connect with me: LinkedIn | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Google

mymagazinemediagroup.com 95

Healthy Living

96 | MY Magazine

mymagazinemediagroup.com 97

THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE REGRET MOST...

by Liz Bull

T

here are two words that people utter before they stop themselves.... from choosing... from DOING something... from trying something out...from “going for it”... from making a decision that could change their life for the better...from losing weight.

These two little words hold so much power!

“What if.”

What if I can’t do it?

What if it doesn’t work?

What if they laugh?

What if I look foolish?

What if I fail?

98 | MY Magazine

What if people talk?

What if they judge me?

What if it doesn’t turn out perfect?

What if I’m wrong????

Do you think like this sometimes? Because if you do, I have a few questions for you: What if you do it? And it works out beyond your expectations and wildest dreams?

What if it works out splendidly?

And so easily you can hardly believe it?

What if they applaud, cheer you on???

What if you look foolish and you still succeed? Remember that you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet!

Success can be messy.

What if you succeed....become the most amazing “you” that you are destined to be?

What if they judge you and LIKE you??? Love what you’ve accomplished?? Love how you look?

And if they don’t...

Remember that the people who mind don’t matter and the people who matter don’t mind.

– Dr. Seuss

mymagazinemediagroup.com 99

point to the incredible power of the imagination and the subconscious mind.

What if it DOES turn out perfect??? Or better than you had any reason to believe it would???

And what if you’re right???

What’s my point?

The truth is that most of the time when you ask “what if”, it leads to making decisions and choices you will regret later.

I’m talking about the other two little words....the ones that are filled with regret... “I wish..” The close second is “If only..”

What to do??? The truth is that the underpinning of “What if” is FEAR! Yup, our subconscious minds have stored up every single experience of flubbing up, being laughed at, being criticized, shamed and judged....even rejected for trying out something 100 | MY Magazine

we wanted to do. Our cells have stored up all of the sadness, defeat, humiliation and broken-heartedness from these experiences.

AND our subconscious will do ANYTHING to avoid that pain, that suffering... including stopping us from taking advantage of opportunities... losing weight and having a healthy body.

How to turn this situation around???

First, think of F.E.A.R. as False Evidence Appearing Real.

Mark Twain said, “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”

He also said that he had lived through many terrible things in his life, some of which actually happened. Both statements

A Harvard study has shown that the brain does not know the difference between imagined and real experiences. A University of Chicago study went further to prove that the old files can actually be rewritten.

Psychologists at the University of Chicago took three groups of basketball players.

Group One practiced foul shots each day for thirty days. Group Two was instructed to “imagine” shooting foul shots each day for thirty days.

Group Three was instructed to do nothing. When tested, Group One (practicing shots) improved 24 percent. Group Three (doing nothing) had no improvement.

Group Two, the group that only imagined shooting foul shots, improved 23 percent without physically touching a basketball!

Why? As far as the brain knew, both groups that practiced (real & imagined) had shot foul shots daily. The difference? Group two never missed! Group Two, never missing, was given more emotional confidence by their brain. The brain also memorized the foul-shooting pattern as though they were on the court.

In Group One, their brain experienced the hit-and-miss pattern of actual foul shooting, which did not build confidence.

Why mention this? We have the ability to build our own files, even when the actual real-world experience is lacking. Using our imagination, we can alter files by imagining new information and new outcomes.

Ok, Liz, how does this apply to losing weight?

It applies in two ways. First, extra weight is often the result of increased cortisol levels which stem from stress and negative experiences.

Rewriting the files using your imagination helps to increase feelings of confidence and safety, which lower cortisol levels. Humor is one of the bet techniques to do this. Bad memories of being yelled at by someone? Imagine them

being 6 inches tall and doing it. LOL!!!

Second, extra weight can be the result of faulty body image and the behaviors that go with it. Rewriting the files using your imagination can install a positive image and create the behaviors that support a healthy body.

Just imagine yourself actually chewing slowly and savoring every bite instead of wolfing food down. Imagine yourself enjoying a 20-minute walk every day.

Practice appreciating your body.

Regular use of visualizations and meditations is a very powerful tool. It provides the foundation for making decisions from a place of strength and confidence.

Remember: Every moment of

your life you have the chance to make a decision that will change your life forever. What would you decide if you couldn’t miss?

With her innovative signature program she works with her clients to release their limiting beliefs, doubts, and fears, and helps them tap into their natural abilities and their bodies’ wisdom, making weight loss easy and safe.

A Medical Intuitive, Master Theta Healer and Certified Virtual Gastric Band Practitioner , Liz has long been fascinated by the important role mind, body, and beliefs play in our lives. Her other studies and certifications include EFT, Psych-K, Matrix Energetics, Access Consciousness, QiGong, NLP and Transcendental Meditation. She has transferred her successful healing/mind-set work with businesswomen to the arena of weight loss because she has experienced first-hand the havoc and misery that obesity creates not only for the sufferer but for their families. www.lizbull.com

mymagazinemediagroup.com 101

FOOD FOR ALLJustSEASONS wear sunglasses and something made of linen.

102 | MY Magazine

by Annabel Cohen

S

ome of my favorite summer recipes are my favorite winter recipes.

I like foods that are perfect for every season. Aside from heavy, creamy or thick textured entrees, almost anything goes!

I think the difference is one of attitude and setting.

When possible, I eat outside … almost always. I don’t like humidity or very warm temps (sultry ain’t my thing), so when it gets muggy or a little too hot, I’m indoors.

However, there are those long nights with luxurious gardens, and my favorite people.

Cowboy caviar with grilled meats and my favorite simple, sweet potatoes.

mymagazinemediagroup.com 103

Cowboy Caviar Salad Makes 6-8 servings.

Cowboy caviar is usually served as an appetizer with tortilla chips on the side. You can put whatever you want in yours, but I love as a salad with lots of avocado in the mix. The key to making this salad extra special is using from corn, off the cob. Just break the shucked ear of corn in two, stand the flat half on a cutting board and slice the kernels right off the cob (repeat with remaining half ear).

1 can (about 15-ounces) black-eyed peas or black beans (or a combination), drained and rinsed 1 1/2 cups, ½-inch diced seeded tomatoes (any variety) 1 1/2 cups fresh corn kernels

1 cup thin sliced scallions, white and green parts sliced green onions ½ - 1 cup chopped fresh cilantro (to taste) 3 Tbsp. red wine vinegar

3 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice 3 Tbsp. olive oil

2 tsp. sugar (optional)

Salt and pepper to taste 2 firm-ripe avocados

8 cups mixed salad greens, about 5 ounces, (your favorite variety) Optional:

Lemon wedges and olive oil, garnish Combine all ingredients EXCEPT avocados and salad greens in a large bowl and toss well. Cover and chill until ready to serve. Just before serving, cut the avocado into ½-inch cubes and toss gently to incorporate.

Divide greens among 6-8 salad plates.

Divide the bean/corn mixture among the plates. Serve with lemon wedges and extra olive oil (optional) if desired.

104 | MY Magazine

Ground Lamb and Beef Kebabs (Kofta) Makes 6 servings.

12 ounces (¾ pound) very lean ground beef 12 ounces (¾ pound) ground lamb ¼ cup fine chopped fresh parsley

1 Tbsp. fresh minced mint leaves 1 Tbsp. ground sumac

2 tsp. minced fresh garlic 2 tsp. kosher salt

2 tsp. ground cumin

½ tsp. fresh ground pepper ½ tsp. Red pepper flakes Garnish:

Fresh lemon wedges; Chopped tomatoes; Chopped Cucumber

6 long metal skewers or thick wood or bamboo skewers, soaked overnight in water

Combine all ingredients in a large bowl and “knead” or mash together with your hands. Chill for 30 minutes or as long as 24 hours.

Take a handful of the meat mixture and form into a large meatball. Thread the meatball onto one skewer and roll the meat gently to form a long log around the skewer. Repeat with remaining meat mixture. Chill until ready to cook.

Preheat grill to high heat. Arrange the kebabs on the grill and cook for about 5 minutes. Turn and cook another 5 minutes or until the meat is no longer pink.

Remove from the grill. (Alternately you can bake them on a rimmed baking sheet at 375˚ for about 12-minutes.

DO NOT OVERCOOK or these will become dry.

mymagazinemediagroup.com 105

Potato Zucchini Gratin Makes 8 servings.

Extra-virgin olive oil

1 cup chopped onions, any variety

5-6 gold, russet or red potatoes (about 1 pound) 1-2 large zucchini

Dried thyme or oregano to taste (may substitute fresh herbs - even better!)

Salt and pepper to taste

1 cup shredded or crumbled cheese - Chevre, Feta, Gruyere, Swiss, Fontina, Cheddar or other Preheat the oven to 375˚.

Thinly slice the zucchini into ¼ inch slices.

Thinly slice potatoes (about ¼ inch thick) and set aside.

Brush a shallow baking dish with olive oil and set aside.

Sprinkle the onions in the baking dish.

“Shingle” (lay in overlapping rows) sliced vegetables in a single layer overlapping pattern in the prepared baking dish, alternating potato, and zucchini.

Season lightly with salt and pepper and a small amount of thyme or oregano.

Cover the dish with foil and bake for 30 minutes.

Uncover and sprinkle the cheese over.

Cook uncovered for an additional 30-40 minutes, or until the vegetables are tender and the liquid is absorbed.

Annabel is a foodie. She’s a writer. A cooking instructor. An explorer.

She’s a aesthete. She knows how to cook. Until fairly recently, Annabel only cooked for people she knows. Her catering, articles, blogs and ANNABEL COHEN COOKS DETROIT Facebook page have earned not just kudos, but awards as well.

She was chosen as a Crain’s Detroit Business Magazine “Most Passionate Cooks” and has been profiled in: The Paper, HOUR Detroit, The Detroit News, The Detroit Free Press, The Big Idea, Oakland Press, Royal Oak Tribune, The Detroit Jewish News, Style Magazine, “LIVE in the D,” among others.

She won “Best Caterer” in 2015 in The Detroit

106 | MY Magazine

Jewish News, and in 2014 in HOUR Detroit magazine. She was voted “Best Brazilian Food” by Detroit Monthly magazine. Among countless television and radio appearances, Annabel was the deciding judge on the Travel Channel’s “Food Wars” for a Detroit episode pitting rivals Lafayette Coney Island against American Coney Island.

Annabel is an author. She co-authored “Eating for Acid Reflux” in 2003 and in 2013 created all the recipes for 2014’s “Fast Diets for Dummies.” As a stylist, Annabel has assisted in countless photo shoots and tested and styled recipes for ads, articles and even a few books she didn’t write.

She’s also a cooking instructor and writer/columnist with articles that focus on her favorite things — food, travel and lifestyle.

Live your authentic life

You can do anything!

mymagazinemediagroup.com