MY
Authentic Life
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OF Persistence THE POWER
Joyful Life SEARCHING FOR A
Within Us THE CHOICE IS
SONIA CHOQUETTE
Sixth Sensory Living
SEPTEMBER 2017
MY
Authentic Life
magazine
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MY Authentic Life magazine is a monthly publication that encourages others to live their best life. MY Media and Publishing Group makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising, editorial content and placement: however, we do not make any claims as to the accuracy of information provided by advertisers or editorial contributors and will accept no responsibility or liability for inaccurate information or placement. No content can be duplicated without the permission of MY Media and Publishing Group. For inquiries e-mail maria.mymediagroup@gmail.com. 10 | MY Magazine
contributing writers
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Mella Barnes
Carol Benson
Amanda Butler
Sharon Carne
Annabell Cohen
Liz Bull
Wini Curley
Pat Duckworth
Elaine Grohman
Kate Sholonski
Liberty Forrest
David Larson
Dr. Kate Siner
Tamara Green
Monika Laschkolnig
Janette Stuart
Dean Griffiths
Judy Lipson
Gary Stuart
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 11
from the publisher
The Voice Of Your Ego Vs. The Voice Of Your Higher Self There are many who manifest situations in their lives that do not serve them. They attract more negative than positive. We all have two sides to ourselves, our Ego and our Higher Self. The question is, which one do you listen to?
Ego plays victim of circumstance, Higher-Self creates it’s own reality
—Maria Rea
Your Ego
The Ego is wrapped around self-esteem, self-importance, self-worth, self-respect, self-image, and self-confidence. It feeds on fears, insecurities, and beliefs. It is conditioned by society, past experiences and culture. The Ego is a right fighter; it plays on anxieties and stress and makes you question if you can do it. The Ego will think of the worst-case scenario, play judge and jury and will discriminate against people and situations. The Ego is critical, not only of others but of yourself as well. It will play with you to justify harsh treatments such as using “tough love” as a way to motivate you to do what it wants you to do. It places doubt in your mind and often time steers you away from living your dreams, your purpose. It sets up roadblocks and focuses on obstacles and difficulties, instead of possibilities, and it sees a 1000 reasons why you shouldn’t pursue the life you desire. It is cynical and untrusting. The Ego wants you to believe that it has your back, but it is not your friend, it is your false self and forces its own agenda.
Your Higher Self
Your Higher Self is you; your true self-unmasked, the you stripped of ego. It is the reason you are here, it is your thoughts, goals, and intentions on a pure level. It is unconditional love, support, and encouragement for yourself and for those around you, Your higher self never criticizes, judges or condemns. Your Higher Self treats you and everyone else with loving-kindness. It is your intuition; that gut feeling you get when you just know it is the right thing or leads you in the right direction. It always remains calm and centered even in the most chaotic situations helping you to feel grounded and safe, moving you forward. 12 | MY Magazine
It recognizes issues but instead of focusing on the negative, it looks at them from an objective perspective and then deals with them in a kind manner. Trust is the most important factor when dealing with your Higher Self. It’s a level of awareness that gives you an intuitive hit where you just know you’re doing the right thing. It’s a judge free zone and always counsels towards a win-win situation where the highest good of all involved are served. It sees the world through inter-connectedness and understanding. What hurts others hurts you and vice versa. Your Higher Self is not intrusive; it is empowering and very cooperative to your needs. It encourages you to make your own decisions and doesn’t force its own agenda. Many who look to their Higher Self will become the observer of and will ask the questions; How do I truly feel about this? Am I coming from a place of Judgment? What do I truly want? If I take myself out of the situation and view it from a different perspective, what do I see? The Higher Self feels good. It’s a knowing that all will work out just way it’s suppose to with no worry, fear or manipulation. When you master the ability to deceiver between the Ego and the Higher Self, the answers follow with grace and ease. There will be no question as to what is right or wrong, it’s a knowing that comes from your heart. So whether you are struggling with a situation in your personal life or your work world, try taking yourself out of the situation. Look at it from a higher perspective, as the observing and ask yourself these questions. How does this serve me, and the people around me? Am I coming from a place of peace and harmony? Is my frustration and hurt ego driven? Am I working from fear? By asking yourself these questions, you will find that the answer is right there in front of you. If you need clarity and are trying to find your life purpose, sit quietly and ask yourself questions as though you are having a conversation with your Higher Self, leaving your Ego at the door. What is it that I want to do with my life? What holds me back? If money weren’t an issue, what would I be doing? How can I be of service to others? Find what feeds your soul in a way that excites you beyond belief. Write down all that inspires you, sit in that for a while, and own it. When you work towards what feeds your soul recognizing that you may not know how to make it happen, just let it consume your heart and by connecting you will be shown.
Have a wonderful September!
Maria Rea – Publisher maria.mymediagroup.com myauthenticlifemagazine.com
Maria is a true visionary living her dreams. She is the founder of MY Media and Publishing Group, Publisher and Creator of MY Authentic Life Magazine, An Author and Transformational Speaker. Maria has the unique ability and gift of helping other to excel through the written word. She encourages others to live their dream by helping them to create a successful business of owning their own local magazine with an online presence bridging the gap between local (hard copies) and global online. Her proven, tried and true, successful business model ensures the success of everyone who works with her. To find out how you can become the leader in your community, empowering and inspiring those around you, visit mymagazinemediagroup.com/making_a_difference/ myauthenticlifemagazine.com 13
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feature
page 24
Sonia Choquette Sixth Sensory Living
16 | MY Magazine
MY Authentic Life 26 Why the Term “Guilty Pleasure” Needs to Die 32 3 Keys to Keeping Goals on Track 36 Boomerang Kid 40 The Choice is Within Us
Self-Growth 46 Activate Your Soul Codes of Destiny 52 Talk to Tamara
Simply Spiritual 76 The Dream Experts What Does Your Dream Mean
56 Thriving in the Middle of Chaos
78 The Choice to Do Better to Make Things Better
60 Self-Love and Sel-Destruct are Incompatible
82 The Tapestry of Life
64 I Forgive Myself
86 Accidental Inspiration
66 The Power of Persistence
88 Searching for a Joyful Life
70 The Beauty of Surrender
92 Reconnect with Your Spiritual Self
Wealth Consciousness 98 Do You Know What You Don’t Know?
Healthy Living 106 Labor Day Cookout 114 My Favorite Veggie... Er, Fruit!
September 2017
Sixth Sensory LIVING
by Maria Rea
A
uthentic, genuine, humorous, witty, kind, heart centered, teacher and spiritual leader are a few of the words that I would use to describe Sonia Choquette. Her light illuminates out for the entire world to see. Sonia Choquette is celebrated
18 | MY Magazine
worldwide as an author, spiritual teacher, six-sensory consultant, and transformational visionary guide. An enchanting storyteller, Sonia is known for her delightful humor and adept skill in quickly shifting people out of psychological and spiritual difficulties, and into a healthier energy flow. She is the author of 24 internationally best-selling
books about intuitive awakening, personal and creative growth, and the transformational leadership capabilities that reside within, most notably with her New York Times best-seller; The Answer is Simple. Because of her unique gifts, Sonia’s expertise is sought throughout the world, helping both individuals and
“The universe is very generous and loves to delight us”
—Sonia Choquette
organizations dramatically improve their experience and abilities to perform at optimal levels through empowerment and transformation.
Intuitively Gifted
Sonia grew up in a heartcentered family with six siblings, a wonderful father, and an intuitive mother. She flourished
in a home where being in tune with and following her intuition was not only considered normal but was taught to be the most important sense she could have. Never hiding or shying away from her gifts, Sonia’s mother always led by example which set the tone for positive reinforcement around all of their
beliefs. Sonia and her siblings adopted the mantra; Trust Your Vibes; What does your heart say, which later became the title for one of her most popular books. “My Father was a quiet, low key, grounded, and logical man. When my mother would say intuitive myauthenticlifemagazine.com 19
things like; my intuition says this or my spirit guides say that, she would very gently look at him and say, Paul, just humor me. It was never an argument between them.” Sonia Shares. Witnessing the dance of respect between her mother and father allowed Sonia more latitude to be exactly who she was, never having the need to defend her gifts. When faced with outside resistance, instead of using instinctive behaviors like “I’m right and you’re wrong,” Sonia would gently say; “just humor me” to get her point across. “I would say to people; yes I can see this looks crazy to you, or yes I can see how this would make no sense to you, but I need to go with this anyway. I think if more people tried that approach, they would actually be more receptive to their own feelings. It’s common to want to challenge or fight or show merit for your intuition when others look at you as different, but that doesn’t serve to anyone’s best or higher good.”
Gifted Children Sonia has written a book, “The Intuitive Spark; Bringing Intuition Home to Your Child, Your Family and You.” Sonia explains that through spiritual principles, modern-day parables, and practical exercises, even the busiest of parents can help children connect to their own source of Divine guidance. An intuitive life is one of confidence, inner peace, and creative expression. What better gift to give ourselves and our children? Sonia’s belief is that all children come into this world gifted, and it is our job as parents to recognize their gifts, and to create the perfect circumstances to allow their gifts to naturally flourish. Having gone to a Catholic school herself, Sonia didn’t have a lot of external support, however, because she had internal support from her family she was able to face some of that external invalidation with confidence, and not let it intimidate her. “The gift wasn’t that I happened to be more intuitive than another, the gift was that I was supported at home. So if there are parents that are reading this, I would encourage you to support it. Support the idea that we have natural insights and that they are valid. Listen to them and honor them, and if others don’t get it, really, who cares? The biggest obstacle to being an intuitive person is taking responsibility that you are going to follow your intuition. 20 | MY Magazine
“It’s about having the courage to ask and not being afraid of disappointment” —Sonia Choquette
Parents can set the tone with their kids and let them know, ‘I’ve got your back.’” Sonia had a very special way of letting her children know that what they were feeling mattered. Whenever Sonia’s children felt uncomfortable or had a bad vibe, she told them to squeeze her hand, and that she would listen just as her mother had done for her. “The beautiful thing about this generation of parents is that they are “leaning in” to be far more supportive and open to their own intuition, which leads to helping their children with theirs.”
A Good Practice Meditation “Meditation in the traditional sense is not for everybody, but there are a lot of ways to quiet your mind. You can go for a walk, knit, chant, fold laundry, or even iron. So rather than having a model of having to sit and be quiet, recognize that there are lots of means by which we can quiet our minds. We are all unique and a universe unto ourselves. There is not just one way to quiet our minds. We all have our own system and not one is right or wrong. We have to learn to appreciate who we are and
find a way to nurture and quiet ourselves in a way that is in harmony with who we are versus trying to make the shoe fit. Meditate because it is pleasant, not because you have some spiritual obligation. I offer many guided meditations, which can aid in quieting the mind. When I’m recording a guided meditation, I pull from the frequency of my heart. It brings you in and helps you to engage in that expansive frequency that calms the intellect. You are experiencing the quiet expanded energy; therefore, I feel I can bring you into the experience instead of telling you about the experience. I am grateful to be able to be a facilitator in that process, it’s not only an honor but my mission and my purpose.”
Five Sensory Vs. Six Sensory Living “The five sensory life is a thin life, it’s not deep, or rich, or profound. It’s not connected in any way. It’s like having fast food all the time, you can get by but you’re never really fed. A six sensory life takes us to the deeper dimension of who we are. Not only does it inform us and guide us in our daily decisions, it connects us to our authentic self, our spirit. It also connects us to other people at a deeper level, to nature at a deeper level, and to our source at a deeper level. It’s a multi faceted shift
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 21
of consciousness, not a linear shift. When we “drop in” to our deeper self, fear goes away and anxiety starts to subside. It’s not like we have a lot of voices in our heads, it’s more like our bodies becomes our compass that starts to guide us into situations and our intellect isn’t even involved. It’s more organic. When we live in a six sensory life, the whole quality of our life shifts and we relax. So when we think about our own process of how we are where we are, we will find it really doesn’t involve a lot of thinking but more feeling. It’s a different kind of knowing versing thinking. We all must rely on our innate sixth senses in order to make the most authentic, well
informed, healthful, and soulsatisfying decisions possible.”
Living With Our Spirits and Guides “Although many people intellectually know and accept that guides are here to help us, many still live in their heads and they do not feeling the energy within themselves. Getting the information and knowing it in our head is very different from engaging in the experience. One of the ways to get around our intellect is to be playful. I suggest you play with your guides, ask them out loud for something. Tell them you’re going to the grocery store and that you would like a front row parking spot waiting for you when you get there. Then applaud them for haven given you one. Ask them to show you a sign, maybe by finding a feather, in answer to a question you have. Then thank them when it crosses your path. This will help you to connect to your guides. We all live in energy space, have a conversation with your guides and thank them often for what they are bringing to your life.
Sonia’s two daughters Sonia & Sabrina Choquette-Tully 22 | MY Magazine
I talk to my guides
and have a very dynamic relationship with them. I feel their presence and support everywhere. It is not a thinking thing; it’s a feeling thing. I speak to my guides often, because I know they are happy to help.”
How many guides do we have? “I have been taught and my experience has been that we have 33 guides available to us at any one time. As we evolve and our consciousness evolves, that can expand. We may notice and work with guides at different junctures of our lives, for example, teacher guides, this is where we may begin to notice books we have never noticed before or we see something on TV that catches our eye that we want to know more about. We may have deeper conversations that help expand our consciousness or read an incredible article that sparks something within us. Another example is if we are doing a project and suddenly things are falling into place serendipitously, those would be a helper guides. If we are stressed or not feeling secure and all of a sudden people pop up in our path or we have conversations with waves of reassurance that come over us, those would be our angels. Knowing about your guides and how they help you can and should be fun.” If you would like to learn more about your guides, I would highly recommend Sonia’s book, Ask Your Guides; Connection to Your Divine Support System.
wrote the book together and coach independently sharing their wisdom. I am so grateful to see the passing of the baton, my mom taught me, my grandmother taught her and I was able to teach them as they tapped into their great wisdom.” To learn more or to order their book go to http://soniaandsabrina.com
INTUITIVE DEVELOPMENT MASTERCLASS
You Are Amazing It is no surprise that Sonia two daughters, Sonia and Sabrina Choquette - Tully, are following in their mother’s footsteps. Released in May of 2017, was their debut book, “You Are Amazing: A Help-Yourself guide for trusting Your Vibes + Reclaiming Your Magic, published by Hay House. This book is a love letter to you: the next generation of spiritual seekers. Sonia and Sabrina see the struggles others are facing, and they know the struggle, because they have lived it as well. Together they share simple ways to tune you back into you. These tools will empower you to get out of your head and get out of your own way so you can live the life you want. Living a spirited life not only makes life easier, it makes life more fun. “I am so proud of my girls. They are brilliant, gorgeous and intuitive beings teaching the next generation. They
Sonia’s three-day event teaches you to activate your intuition. It’s a workshop that gives you the direction and confidence you need to excel in your personal and professional life. In experiencing this once a year exciting, life-changing event, you will learn that there is no inner personal skill more important than your intuition. Intuition is your guiding compass that will keep you free from making daily mistakes and help guide you more accurately to making the best decisions. “This is my favorite event of the year. The event is for people who are interested in developing their own intuition but are not sure how. I start by giving them the foundation and tools to tap into their own natural abilities. To feel, sense and acknowledge their intuition, recognize how it works by showing them how to consistently access it by removing obstacles, and then practicing what they have learned. It is the best thing you can do to invest in your life.
It’s like living in the dark trying to change your socks vs. turning on the light. It’s truly a game changer. There are so many benefits to learning how to use your intuition, your health gets better, your stress goes down, your creativity goes up, your connectivity with other people starts to increase, and so your loneliness and anxiety level goes down. You have a sense of belonging so you relax and begin to enjoy life. It’s a systemic awakening. I love this event, it’s one of my favorites.” To learn more about this life-changing event visit https://soniachoquette.net/ event/intuitive-developmentmasterclass/
Best Advice For Living Your Authentic Life “The best advice I can give is to say, trust yourself. You’ve got this. You’re not as unqualified as you feel. I feel very strongly that people need to hear that they should trust themselves. You’ve had enough experiences in your life, enough of those aha moments and synchronicities, now it’s time to make a new decision. So let’s do it, and start trusting in yourself now!” Sonia has a multitude of ways to help you on your journey. There are online courses, several books, recordings, events, tools for happiness, and meditations just to name a few. To find out more and to receive fabulous free gifts go to https://soniachoquette.net myauthenticlifemagazine.com 23
MY Authentic Life
WHY THE TERM
“GUILTY PLEASURE” NEEDS TO DIE by Mella Barnes
26 | MY Magazine
“I know, I know,” my friend whispered, averting my gaze, “don’t judge me, online shopping is my guilty pleasure.” I wait for her to say, “that’s why I’m ten thousand dollars in debt and sold one of my kidneys for eBay gift cards,” but she is silent. I watch as she scrolls through fancy journals and dish towels, buying one of each. “I feel so bad,” she says, “I don’t really NEED a journal, but I really like this one.” “Then why is it a guilty pleasure?” I ask. She raises an eyebrow. “Because I’m not supposed to spend money on things I don’t NEED.” The conversation ends and we move on. Later that day I am talking to my mother on the phone. “I hate saying this,” she almost whispers, “but I love watching the Kardashians. It’s my guilty pleasure.” I wait for her to say, “I quit my job to stay home and binge watch every episode,” but she says nothing. “Why is it a guilty pleasure?” I ask. She sighs. “Because…I’m not supposed to like them. It’s a trashy show and people will judge me. I just enjoy it. It’s fun to watch their drama.” “Then who cares?” I ask, “Don’t feel guilty about it. Enjoy it.” “But I CAN’T, I’m not SUPPOSED to.” I’m sure you can relate to either of these stories or maybe you have your own. Everyone I know has a so-called “guilty pleasure,” and the term drives me nuts. Guilt is placed on us by society for not conforming to acceptable standards. But who deems those standards “acceptable?” Furthermore, why do we care what random people consider acceptable? The dictionary definition of guilty pleasure is, “something, such as a movie, television program, or piece of music, that one enjoys despite feeling that it is not generally held in high regard.” I would like you to throw away the feeling that something is not held in high regard, or at least throw away your concern over it. Some guilty pleasures should actually make people feel guilty. Whatever your pleasure may be, here are examples of when it’s okay to feel guilty about it: 1. You are harming yourself or others myauthenticlifemagazine.com 27
that you need a savings. I’m not telling you to be irresponsible, but so many “guilty pleasures” are just trying to make you feel bad for having a good time. Again I need to state, however, that if your guilty pleasure causes you or others harm, that truly is a “guilty” pleasure. Smoking cigarettes cause cancer and can harm those around you who breathe the smoke. This is a pleasure you can feel guilty about. These types of guilty pleasures are things that you should perhaps seek help to end.
2. You are wasting a ton of time or money that could be better spent elsewhere (please note I said a *ton* of time or money. Spending a few hours or dollars a week doing something you enjoy should not be considered a bad thing!) 3. It is morally wrong, obscene or offensive 4. You could get in major trouble for doing it These are what I would call “guilty pleasures.” Things you actually SHOULD feel guilty about. Here are things that, in my opinion, you should NOT feel guilty about: 1. Something that improves your day, even slightly
28 | MY Magazine
2. It takes your mind off of your current stress or trouble 3. It harms no one and doesn’t make your life actively worse 4. It’s something society tries to make you feel guilty about, for unknown or stupid reasons Life is so short, you guys. You only have so long to be on this earth, and we have no idea what happens after that. Do you like a “trashy” or “stupid” show? Does it make you happy for an hour without taking away time for other important things? Watch the show! Does a huge, $5 Starbucks drink make you happy on a Saturday morning? Do you have that $5 to spend and it won’t mean you’ll miss rent and wind up homeless? Buy the coffee! Enjoy your life. I get
Today, I’d like you to evaluate your guilty pleasures. Do you truly feel guilty for them? Do you NEED to feel guilty for them? If you do, see what steps you can take to improve or end them. If you evaluate them and find that there is nothing to feel guilty about, I hope you’ll give yourself permission to enjoy it without feeling guilty. Life is too short to feel unnecessary emotions. Forcing yourself to feel guilty is far less healthy than your guilty pleasure, so let go of the guilt and enjoy your pleasures! You deserve them. Mella is a session singer, songwriter and producer living in Nashville, Tennessee. Also an animal lover, she has three dogs, a rabbit, and any number of foster animals in various shapes and sizes. She is the author of Way Less Cowbell, a book on communicating with session musicians. If you would like more information or to hire her onto your project, please visit www.mellamusic.com
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3 KEYS
TO KEEPING GOALS ON TRACK
by Wini Curley, Ph.D.
C
laire is a University professor. She is intelligent, capable, and accomplished. You don’t get to her position of leading a team of other college instructors without some serious smarts and leadership skills. She came to me with the following story about her lack of motivation. 32 | MY Magazine
“I am so frustrated with myself. It’s the end of June already, and I want to get a project done before the Fall Term starts. I know what I need to do, and I can’t get myself to do it. It’s a terrible pattern I have. I work extremely hard and exceptionally long hours during the academic year. When
summer comes, all I want to do is have a break without any pressure or stress. Updating the course material we created and implemented 2 years ago seems overwhelming. AND - I am absolutely positive the updates will make the course even stronger. Getting this done will be good for my team of
definitely had this experience myself. Some might tell Claire “Stop procrastinating. Get over yourself and get focused.” However, we took it deeper to help Claire connect to her motivation daily in a positive and productive way. That beat attacking the problem by gritting her teeth and plowing ahead full of resistance and frustration. Where is the fun or joy in that? Here are three key practices Claire used to overcome being stuck. Consider how they can work for you.
1
Connect to Your WHHY (not a typo) – To stay motivated about anything, you need to be clear why the project or goal is meaningful. Get connected to your WHHY – What makes your Head and Heart say Yes at the same time. It is that feeling of things falling into place, like a thunk inside, when your goal or inspired idea aligns with both your logical brain and your heart’s desire and/or sense of purpose.
instructors and the students. I know it will hugely reduce stress and pressure for my Fall Term if I do this now. Instead, I just keep stewing about it and feeling guilty. So, I feel stressed and pressured even though I’m not doing anything. It’s driving me crazy. Why can’t I make myself get this done?”
Does this sound familiar? Is there something you know you need to do, in fact, you actually want to get it done, but for some reason you are stuck? You just can’t make yourself get started, or you can’t stick with it even when you do start. Something else (anything else!) is more appealing. I have
When your motivation slips, check in with the following three components of WHHY and discover what is missing for you. Think of these components as a three legged stool. All three legs must be in place for the stool to be useful. All three components are equally important to staying motivated. •
Embrace Logic - Satisfy your brain’s desire for clear, valid, practical reasons to spend
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 33
selfish) impacts others. It will leave your current role vacant and create an opportunity for someone else to step up (you don’t have to know who). Perhaps you have a plan to change some policies that will improve morale. Consider your potential impacts to benefit others in the five key life areas: Career/Purpose, Health, Relationships, Finances, and Leisure Time/Play. •
your time and energy on a particular goal. What are the specific possibilities or opportunities that open up for you as a result of your efforts? This component is about the good your goal or project does for you – personally and/or professionally. Boldly claim the benefits to you and the desired outcomes for accomplishing your goal. Post them where you can see them daily. 34 | MY Magazine
•
Make a Difference - How does you achieving your goal create value for others? Once again, list the logical benefits and outcomes for others when you achieve your goal. If you think your goal is just about you, think bigger and broader. We always make ripples for others with our actions and words.
Even a goal like getting a promotion (which could appear
Feel Your Accomplishment – This component satisfies your heart’s need to be connected to your goal emotionally. This is where you acknowledge aspects of your goal that ‘does your heart good’. Imagine how you will feel when your goal is achieved. Place yourself in the experience of finally finishing, and being proud of a job well done. Receive acknowledgement and praise from yourself and others. Since you are imagining, why have it any other way?
Enjoy the experience! How does it feel to actually engage in the list of benefits and desired outcomes (both for yourself and others)? Notice your confidence level and sense of empowerment. Experience what it feels like to make a positive difference for others. It is important to do this daily. The purpose of this imagining exercise is to stay connected emotionally to the logical outcomes you want. This exercise aligns your head and heart. For Claire, she knew updating her course material would
improve both the student and instructor experience. She also knew logically that accomplishing her goal would reduce her stress when the new term began. However, when she connected emotionally to that feeling of greater ease afterward, it freed her to take action now. She had not clearly defined the logical outcomes for herself professionally. When she realized the course upgrade would be noticed by her Dean, she could feel how it was a positive step toward the promotion she was actively seeking. Connecting the experience of receiving her promotion along with improving the course for others made working on the update easier.
2
Address resistance – Even when you are connected to your WHHY, resistance can still happen. If you aren’t sure why you are resistant, fill in the following blanks and see what comes up: •
I have decided _________________ is more important (so that is how I spend my time).
•
If I work on this, I am afraid ______________ will happen.
•
When I get busy with this, I will have to give up ______________.
It is important to understand that the distractions (TV, exercising more, sleeping, etc.) that keep you away from your goal are just ways to avoid dealing with these fears and concerns. Claire knew her two
key resistances were: 1) not wanting to give up her summer rest and relaxation time, and 2) she was afraid she would have to work all the time to get the update to be good enough.
goal of improving half the course material before the Fall Term started. Her husband remarked that this was the most relaxed and least stressed he has seen her at the start of a new term!
The first resistance was a legitimate need for some ‘down’ time to rejuvenate. The second resistance uncovered a previously hidden tendency for perfectionism. Accepting the difference between an improvement and (unattainable) perfection freed Claire to devise a plan. She decided to work for part of three days a week on course improvements. She could do anything she wanted with the rest of her time. It wasn’t all or nothing as she previously feared. Claire set reasonable and achievable goals for her work days. In between, she played.
Motivation comes from within. Use these tools diligently to develop and maintain yours. As Zig Ziglar said: “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing. That is why we recommend it daily.”
3
Stay Flexible – It is important to have a plan of action and to know that things won’t go completely as planned. Learn to be flexible and follow the flow. This becomes easier when you stay emotionally connected to the outcomes of your goal. Give yourself permission – to succeed, to fail at some aspects, and to adjust your plan. Claire’s initial plan was to complete updating the instructor’s guide and lesson video for each class before she tackled the next. However, she found it easier to stay on a roll with the instructor guides and then do the videos in batches. She accepted the adjustment and got more accomplished more quickly. Claire achieved her
Wini Curley, Ph.D. is a Resilience Expert, Speaker, and Executive Coach. She shows leaders and their organizations how to energize their next win - whether they are on a roll or in a hole. In 2002, Wini became an entrepreneur and left a 20-year corporate career cleaning up environmental hazardous waste sites. Now, she helps clients clean up toxic habits, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that contaminate their path to success. Clients say Wini’s keen intuition, judgement-free approach, and energy techniques all help free them to release frustrations and blocks and accelerate toward what they really want. Wini has coached successful leaders and entrepreneurs across 3 continents. Clean up the toxicities big or small at the leadership level, and watch the business and its people grow and flourish. Learn more about Wini and her programs at www.WiniCurley.com and www.GiftsFromWini.com myauthenticlifemagazine.com 35
BOOMERANG KID
36 | MY Magazine
by Pat Duckworth
Y
ou know that moment when you wave goodbye to your adult child as they set off for college or to work away from home or to set up a new home with a partner? You may feel a bit sad to see them leave but you also feel proud of the work you have done to raise an independent person. You pat yourself on the back. Job well done! And then they come back. You have a ‘Boomerang Kid’ on your doorstep. In the USA it is estimated that 22 million adults, 18 years old and above, live with their parents. Research reveals that three-in-ten young adults in America aged 25 to 34 recently move back to their parents’ home. There are many reasons why this can happen. It may be that their education is completed and they have not yet found employment. They may have lost their job or experienced a relationship breakdown. They may have decided to move back home to save money for a change they want to make. In some cases, adult children move back to help and support their parents. Whatever the reason, you now have another adult living in your home and it may not be a comfortable situation.
Young adults returning home can be viewed very negatively by society, a ‘failure to launch’. When one of your country’s core values is self-reliance, it is not surprising that there is a feeling of resentment on all sides when an adult child boomerangs back. The delay in independent living can have both negative and positive impacts on the family. On the positive side, your adult child may contribute financially to the household and help with household chores, caring for younger siblings and aging grandparents. On the negative side, having an adult child at home may mean that parents are unable to downsize, reduce outgoings and plan for retirement. The Boomerang Generation is leading to the creation of the ‘Cuckoo Generation’, where some parents are leaving their homes or moving into an annex to make way for their children. This can be a positive development if the family stays together under one roof and parents are cared for in later life. If your adult child has asked to move back into the family home, how can you plan for it in a way that will help you all to live together harmoniously? It may seem strange to talk about negotiating an myauthenticlifemagazine.com 37
agreement with your child to live in what has always been their home, but the relationship and the situation have both changed. Your child is now an adult. They have developed and learned new skills outside of the home. They are not the same child who moved out. Also, your adult child is not a mind-reader. If you do not set out your expectations of their behavior, they will not know that they have done something wrong until you are shouting at them. Here are some thoughts about issues that your agreement could cover. FINANCIAL CONTRIBUTION Finances can be the most frequent cause of arguments in families so it is important
to have this discussion before your adult child moves back in. Contributing to household finances will help to maintain respect and equality within your relationship. Many parents decide not to charge their child or to only ask for a small amount. This is up to you (and your partner) to decide and agree with your adult child. HELPING WITH HOUSEHOLD CHORES Set out for your adult child the standard that you expect from them in maintaining their personal living space and their responsibility for common household chores. It is a negotiation but remember this is your home and you have a right to expect some help. EMPLOYMENT If your adult child has moved
home because they have no employment then searching for a new job has to become their number one priority. You may include a clause about this in your agreement for example ‘X hours a day to be spent on work search’. PERSONAL SPACE If you and your partner have been enjoying relaxation time in your lounge listening to your music, the return of your adult child may have an impact on your personal space. It can be a good idea to negotiate use of common areas, particularly the TV room and lounge. DEALING WITH SIBLINGS Your adult child’s younger siblings may welcome them back home, or they may resent having to give up or share a bedroom again. Your adult child should not expect to move back into exactly the same situation that they left. Talking about bedroom arrangements and agreeing on it with brothers and sisters will help to reduce any resentment. EXIT STRATEGY Depending on the circumstances, you may want to agree a time limit for your adult child’s stay in the family home. This needs to be realistic, taking into account their future plans and yours. Include arrangements to re-visit this clause and adjust the date if circumstances change
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GRIEVANCES Sometimes things go wrong. Stuff happens and it is a good idea to have a grievance procedure for dealing with minor issues. If you have a serious, significant dispute and your child is over 18, they are an adult and will be treated under the adult law. As parents, you have no legal obligation to house them. If you have asked your adult child to leave the house and they refuse, you can use the ‘defiant trespass’ procedure to evict them. This involves calling the police and asking them to prosecute. If the police refuse then the next step is to go to the magisterial court and file a private complaint in to get a court order. Parents using
so called ‘self-help’ measures, for example turning off the electricity or running water, or changing the locks, will find themselves in trouble with the law. This is not advised! If you are unable to reach agreement on minor disagreements you may need the help of a neutral person who is prepared to listen to both sides of the issue and help to resolve it. You could ask a trusted friend or family member, or find a mediator in your local area. The role of the mediator is to be objective and allow you space to find a solution. Having your adult child at home can be a time of mutual enjoyment. Celebrate your
family and laugh lots. It is easier to do that if you have had the difficult conversations at the beginning. Pat Duckworth is a midlife coach, author, and international public speaker. After 30 years working in the public and voluntary sector, Pat discovered her entrepreneurial mojo in her mid-50s and retrained as a therapist and coach. Since then she has published three books including the award-winning, ‘Hot Women, Cool Solutions’. Her fourth book, Hot Women Rock; How to discover your midlife entrepreneurial mojo, is published on October 4th. Pat is passionate about inspiring women to get the best from their lives, no matter what their age. Learn more athotwomencoolsolutions.com Twitter: @patduckworth Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ HWRentreprenuers/
THE CHOICE IS WITHIN US
40 | MY Magazine
“He’s not terrible, papa... I see him differently.” –Belle, Beauty and the Beast by David Larson
T
he resurgence of the interest in the classic tale of Beauty and the Beast was confirmed by the popularity of its recent 2017 movie remake of the Disney animated production originally released 25 years ago. Most of you know this story of a young woman perceived by those around her as “odd” because of her preoccupation with the adventures of reading, educating herself, and holding onto values of sincerity, dignity, authenticity, and true love. Belle meets the Beast, who out of his own rage and desperation about life, has imprisoned her father for trespassing on the Beast’s property. Belle trades herself for his release, willing to give her own life for her more vulnerable and sickly father. Upon becoming aware of the Beast, the townspeople flip into panic and rage and impulsively react, seeing killing the Beast as the only solution to their fear. Following the lead of the perceived hero Gaston’s bravado, ego, and thirst to overpower, the townspeople join in his prejudice and fear to make war with the Beast to destroy him.
Out of her courage to be in a relationship with the Beast, Belle discovers the Beast’s own bluster and meanness is an expression of his misguided sense of entitlement and lack of education and finds within him tenderness, a wounded soul in need of love and compassion, rather than rejection and destruction. After a battle in which the Beast is mortally wounded, and love becomes fully expressed, we see the Beast freed from his selfishness and fear, transformed back into the prince he really was, this time, having learned that loving is the way out of his misery. It takes no stretch of the imagination to see we live in a society that often gives low priority to investing in education, and spends more energy making war than reading and learning how to make peace. We find “beasts” on which to project our fright and disappointment about our life situations. We react to and see the mean behavior of others as a reason to attack them verbally, emotionally, spiritually, or physically, and some even choose killing as an answer to their fear.
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 41
We find ourselves like the townspeople, often gathering behind a macho leader, unable to see our enemies’ choices as an expression of their frustration and desperation. We forget that the disappointing behavior we see is the natural outgrowth of a lack of kindness, support, or seeing all human beings as needing tenderness and love. We get preoccupied with our enemies’ behavior, judge them harshly, and seek to destroy those of whom we are afraid. Belle refused to participate in the same behavior she received from the Beast. She declined to treat him harshly in return, and by caring for the injured Beast, found a wounded heart, a being in need of love, and by loving him, transformed him. 42 | MY Magazine
Who are the ”beasts” in your life? Do you, too, react from fear when you think of their hurtful choices? Do you judge them as mean or cruel based on their behaviors? Are you distracted by people’s actions, seeing the expression of their desperation as a sign that they are evil, and like the townspeople, fail to see their woundedness, their overwhelming grief, their need for your love, not your attack? Will you, out of your fear, return hurt because you have been hurt? Will you become a Beast? Or will you, as I commit to doing, remember your enemy is a prince in disguise, in need of understanding, compassion, and love? Will we realize the way out of misery is looking past the behaviors for the
lovableness that exists in all of us? Will we look for the innocence often covered by misguided information, trying circumstances, prejudice, and needs unmet? Will you be one to meet those needs, or seek to destroy the ones in need? The choice is one we make every day, in every relationship, in every setting. Choose well. David is a licensed psychologist in private practice who has been leading people into life fulfillment for more than thirty years. His work with Kate Sholonski at Triumph Leadership Group involves creating and sustaining healthy and productive relationships in the workplace. David is a contributing author to four books, has been a TV talk show host, and resides in rural Minnesota with his wife, Carol.
MOVE YOUR BUSINESS TO THE NEXT STEP & BECOME FINANCIALLY FREE You are TALENTED! You are BRILLIANT! You are UNSTOPPABLE!
YOUR BUSINESS SHOULD BE TOO! If you struggle with marketing, sales, branding or your overall vision we can help. To find out how you can move your business forward set up a discover call with Maria at maria. mymediagroup@gmail.com
“Faith Is Taking the Step Even When You Don’t See the Whole Staircase.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
44 | MY Magazine
Self-Growth
Connecting You With You
ACTIVATE YOUR SOUL CODES OF DESTINY & CREATE A JOYOUS SOUL-ALIGNED LIFE! by Amanda Butler
46 | MY Magazine
H
ave you ever wondered why it seems like some people have it all? Or that they really don’t need to work for what they accomplish? Life seems easy for them and they always seem to be in the “right place at the right time”. I watched my brother in school … he could look at a text book and get an A, while I was pouring over my books and notes diligently studying to get a B, a B+ and sometimes an A. He also knew what he wanted “from the get go” … all he ever wanted to do was fly. He joined the Navy, became a pilot and eventually became a Captain at one of the major airlines. As of this day, he has flown for over 37 years and always laughs about how they pay him for what he loves to do … it’s not work to him. Now, it doesn’t mean he hasn’t had his share of trials and tribulations. He has. Just like everyone, he has his ‘stories’ of what’s worked out and what has not. However, he was never deterred from creating what he desired the most even in the midst of many challenges. He wanted to fly. He wanted a loving wife. He wanted to provide for his children. And he has accomplished them all. This is what I call a Soul-Aligned life. You can have significant issues show up in your life, but
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 47
You can resist, but then you get more of the same. You can also choose to let go and see where life takes you … it is usually into something completely unexpected and something that’s in MORE alignment with a Higher Purpose and your Higher Potential. We are so much more than what the eye sees. We are a Spiritual Being having a physical experience in a physical body. We are multi-dimensional, which means there’s much more going on behind the scenes and underneath the surface. And I mean energetically whether we realize it or not.
Power
©2015 Keenawah & Associates, LLC
walk through even the most difficult of times.
What are your Soul Codes of Destiny? You have a Divine Blueprint in which your Soul Codes are held in your cellular memory. Soul Codes hold specific packets of information and energy envelopes that are significant and unique to each personality/egoic Self and Soul. They assist in the interfacing of a person with their Soul’s vibrational signature and purpose in a specific lifetime.
Sometimes you may wonder how you made it through a tough time in your life. You probably don’t feel like you had any control. Well, you don’t when the Soul and the Universe take over because there is the unknown and something you might have never imagined.
Soul Codes affect the expression of who you are and how you present your Self to the world. They influence all aspects within your life … your health and well-being, relationships, purpose, vocation, finances, and even issues such as your happiness, healing, power,
Power from The Diamond Co-Creative System™ The Universal Energy Form of Power from The Diamond Co-Creative System™ provides the energetic vibrations to help you activate your Soul Codes of Destiny and Success. This sacred geometry technology can help you access the energies of Power and activate your Soul Code of Power. It opens the doorway for you to tap into the Power within your Self so you feel empowered to create and manifest the life you desire. You become aligned with your Soul’s Essence and the Universe’s Highest Potential that is held for you. do you go back to the CORE of who you are and do you focus on what and whom you Truly desire to be? When you have a Soul-Aligned life, your Soul is guiding your personality/egoic Self. Your Soul expresses through your personality/egoic Self. And the energy of your Soul is there to help the personality/egoic Self, 48 | MY Magazine
So let’s look at what can assist you in your life. Have you heard about activating your Soul Codes of Destiny?
passion, abundance, success and wealth consciousness. A few great examples of Soul Code activations are: Steve Jobs apparently came into this lifetime with his Soul Code of ‘Genius’ and ‘Innovator’ activated as evidenced by what he contributed to the world. As an innovator and genius in the technology field, he changed all of our lives with Apple. With an activated Soul Code of Genius, he was able to tap into and download technology ideas that were ‘outside the box’ and never invented before. He lived a Soul-Aligned life.
The same can be said of Bill Gates with Microsoft, Henry Ford of Ford Motor Co with the automobile and the invention of the assembly line, or Thomas Edison with the light bulb. Oprah Winfrey is an example of her Soul Codes of Connection and Communication being activated as we see the impact she has had on millions of people. All of them have lived Soul-Aligned lives. Soul Codes can be activated before you’re born as a part of your Destiny for this lifetime, or they can remain dormant until a time (or lifetime) when they AND you
are ready to be activated. Once activated, they can influence different aspects of you and your way of ‘BE’-ing and in certain areas of your life. You are then in your full power and aligned with your Highest Potential to fulfill your vision. You have the assistance of the Universe, your Spirit Guides, Angels, Ascended Masters in the etheric world. But it also seems as though things flow easier and with more grace in the physical world. Activating or reactivating a Soul Code can assist you with the
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process of allowing Flow into your life. If your Soul Code of, let’s say, Abundance is activated, then when opportunities and ideas come to you, you follow the energy. You feel guided as to when to make a call, when to write, and when to take action. Plus, you vibrate to the energy of abundance and people feel your abundant spirit and will want to play with you if they and the situation is the ‘right’ vibrational match for you and what you’re offering and doing. It doesn’t mean there will not be challenges, lessons to learn and healings to occur, but the opportunities and solutions seem quicker if someone is willing to hold themselves 50 | MY Magazine
responsible and accountable. They put forth the focus and the energy to co-create what they desire. They do not let anything or anyone deter them. In addition, Soul Codes can become deactivated due to experiences and how you interpret them … if you have a negative perception of what occurred, then you can shut down and not allow what you desire to come to fruition. These can cause energetic patterns which take you out of alignment of your Highest Potential. Energetic misalignments can be identified so you’ll know what healing needs to occur, in order to bring you back into the
vibrational alignment with your goals and desires. These can be discovered in a Soul Reading, or through your own intuitive skills. A way to begin the process is simple. In the midst of a challenge, or if you’re thinking about or feeling an energy you don’t like or want such as being irritated, unhappy, judgmental, unmotivated or confused, then ask your Self one or all the following questions: What is my Soul-Aligned Thought? What is my Soul-Aligned Feeling? What is my Soul-Aligned Belief? What is my Soul-Aligned Word? What is my Soul-Aligned Action?
What is my Soul-Aligned Wisdom? What is my Soul-Aligned Creation? This is the Power of connecting with and tapping into your Soul’s Essence to ask for guidance and is the key to success in shifting your energy. When you ask these questions, your personality/ egoic Self cannot answer them; it cannot supersede what the Soul wants to express. Why? Because your Soul is Love and nothing nor no one can supersede the power of Love. For the next month, play with these questions. See how your personality/egoic Self might want to control the answers. It’s a fun process to see where you want to remain stuck (consciously or subconsciously), or where you want to go to your next level and play with the MORE that’s available to you!
You can do this on the go, or take time to write in your journal and meditate daily. Ask for guidance from your Soul and the Universe in your meditations as well as in your dreams to reveal the answers to the specific questions you are asking. Mediation and dreams can bring you invaluable understanding and direction from the subconscious and other realms within the Universe. Of course, you have a choice. You can listen to your personality/egoic Self and argue for your limitations. Or you can allow for your Soul to help you create a Soul-Aligned life which will bring you MORE love, joy and all that you desire! So what is the vision of your SoulAligned life? Good question, right? Have fun exploring!
Amanda Butler is the Architect of The Diamond Co-Creative System™ and since 2001 has assisted thousands to heal their present and past life energetics, while activating their Soul Codes of Destiny and Success, so they create an integration and vibrational alignment between their Soul’s Essence and personality/egoic Self. The results … they feel connected with their authentic Self, True purpose, passion, joy and love with the ability to fulfill their Highest Potential and live their MORE! For More about Amanda and how a Soul Reading can help you, go to http://cocreateyoursuccess.com/ soul-reading-special/ www.CoCreateYourSuccess.com https://www.facebook.com/ createyourdiamondlife
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 51
Talk to Tamara
Tamara, the relationship whisperer, is like a walking instruction manual for all of your love, dating. and relationship questions. Ask her your burning questions and she’ll guide you in the direction that is right for you. by Tamara Green
“The fastest road to delicious intimacy is to give your partner exactly what it is that you desire.” —Tamara Green, LCSW (@tamaragreen4u)
Dear Tamara,
Dear Meditation Novice,
In last month’s column, you wrote about the benefits of meditation and how it can help enhance a relationship. Because I’ve been overreactive with my boyfriend, reading your article has convinced me that I need to begin my own practice. Can you give me some ideas on how to start it and stay on track?
Great decision, so good for you!
Signed: Meditation Novice
52 | MY Magazine
There is not a single person who has embarked on a spiritual practice, like meditation, who at some point, wanted to stop, distract herself or quit altogether. The following tips will help you achieve the best results in your new mindfulness experience.
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 53
Eight Keys For A Successful Meditation Practice
1
Commit to doing a meditation every day, even if for only 5 minutes. When starting a practice, the natural tendency is to give up too quickly. Even with the best intentions, about half of you readers will succumb to your old behaviors of self-sabotage by missing days or even dropping out altogether. Is that going to be you?! I hope not!! To keep your commitment, schedule a daily reminder in your calendar.
2
Set your intention. Creating a goal for a successful practice is important. Go ahead and set your intention to meditate every day with great results. For example, your objective could sound like this, I intend to meditate for at least five minutes every day, bringing more calm and ease into my life. It helps to create a special intention for missed days. To help keep you on track, make a special goal of meditating twice as long in the 24 hours following a missed day. For example, your objective could sound like this: My intention is 5 minutes of daily meditation. However, if I miss a day, my goal is to meditate for at least 10 minutes in the following 24 hours.
3
Pick that one time per day that works best for you. Studies show that if you meditate the same time every day, you will have a more profound result. You
54 | MY Magazine
may choose to meditate when you wake up, over lunch, after dinner or before going to bed. Whichever time you prefer, stick with it throughout your daily practice.
4
Pick a quiet place in your home, office, nearby beach or park, etc. that becomes your sanctuary. Make sure it’s a place where you can’t be easily distracted. If you have younger children, make sure it’s during their sleep time. Turn off your wireless devices and take care of any other possible disruptions.
5
Refrain from giving meaning or judgment to the thoughts, beliefs, fears, emotions, and feelings that will pop during meditation. When they arise, DON’T JUDGE YOURSELF. Gently smile and let them float away. Know that what emerges is ready to leave your system. That’s right, all thoughts, beliefs, fears, emotions, and feelings that surface are actually trying to leave your mind and body, so let them. Be the witness and observer of what arises and watch them gently float away. Even for the most seasoned meditator, thoughts come up. IT’S NO BIGGIE. Just notice them with interest and curiosity, which allows them to drift away. Then, refocus your attention back onto your meditation.
any new practice, patience is your virtue. Be patient and kind to wonderful YOU!
7
Wear headphones. By using wireless devices to listen to guided meditations, you’ll enhance the sound by using headphones or ear buds. This helps to create a more deep and transformative experience. Also, being ‘hands-free’ gives your body a chance to relax and release even more.
8
Reward or treat yourself. This is the vital commitment you’re making for your mind, body, and soul, which deserves to be praised and honored. At least once per week, treat yourself to something wonderful. Decide what that reward is going to be ahead of time so the incentive for continuing your practice stays a priority. Here are some suggestions: •
Take a scented bath at the end of each week
•
Schedule a healing body or reflexology massage
•
Watch your favorite comedian or movie on Netflix or YouTube, especially ones that make you laugh or feel good.
6
Enjoy your meditation practice!! Be patient with yourself. There’s no way to do meditation wrong. As with
For those who are going through the cancer experience,
Copyright 2017, Tamara Green, LCSW. All Rights Reserved
to feel calm in minutes, get the Loving Meditations App. For more information, go to LovingMeditations.com. Want free relationship advice right away? Take advantage of Tamara’s free 45-minute guidance session where you will finally get clarity and relief from your dating or relationship struggles. Whether you are single or are experiencing relationship upset, by clicking here, you no longer have to figure this out alone anymore. Yay! Elle Magazine dubs Tamara Green, LCSW “The Soulcentered Love Expert.” She is an author, speaker and trainer, helping thousands of people to navigate the waters of love, dating and relationships – all while falling madly in love with themselves in the process. Trained as a Love Mentor® by Dr. Diana Kirschner, Individual and Couples Psychotherapist, Meditation Practitioner and Hypnotherapist, Tamara’s coaching is highly effective as she combines her many years of professional training with her gifts as an energy healer, intuitive and seer. As a result, Tamara creates an exciting catalyst for deep emotional healing, giving her clients greater success in life and love. She has devoted her life to helping women rise out of pain and fear so they can finally experience the long lasting and loving relationship of their dreams. As well as working 1-on-1, Tamara offers free weekly meditation audios that take you on a journey of love with ease and joy. Please follow Tamara Green, LCSW (@tamaragreen4u) Join Tamara’s community at tamaragreen.me; Facebook facebook.com TGreenLoveExpert; youtube: youtube.com/channel/ UC9MqTnZEJYNEpKnwrjsZ40A myauthenticlifemagazine.com 55
THRIVING IN THE MIDDLE
OF CHAOS by Sharon Carne
56 | MY Magazine
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W
e live such very full lives — lives that move at a pace humanity has never seen before. We are learning new ways to support our body as it adjusts to creating ease in this fast paced world. We are changing the nature of our relationships and connection with other people with the advent of social media and instant global connection. Our emotions are often rattled by the chaotic nature of the world around us. It challenges not only us but also our relationships with those closest to us. And in our relationships with those at work. Our minds are too often captured by worrisome thoughts. These thoughts often mirror chaotic events around us. And so our INNER world becomes chaotic. We easily forget that peace – calm – joy – compassion – love spiritual connection and bliss are PERMANENT parts of our being. Fear, anger, impatience, resentment, confusion… are fleeting states. They are meant to be felt and then to flow through our beings. But sometimes they get stuck. And we lose our connection to the permanent place of peace and ease within. For me, it was a case of hives that lasted for six months when 58 | MY Magazine
3. No Reset. Reset acts like the restart button on your computer. When your computer isn’t working as efficiently as it usually does, the first thing you do is restart the machine. This is where your stress-busting toolkit comes in handy. Know what you can use to reset yourself back to the peaceful and calm place. After decades of exploring alternative methods of healing, energy healing and thousands of books, NOTHING worked better for me than sound and music. I was feeling so overwhelmed with everything in my life at the time. I knew that I needed to bring myself back to that place of peace within and that would bring ease back into my life. And once I figured out how to do that, even though the pace, the workload and family responsibilities continued, I was back in my place of calm and peace. At least until the next time that I forgot that I AM calm and peace. Some days are just like that. It’s important for you to know, that creating ease is an ongoing process. There is no single solution that will work every time. We need to be able to flow with that and to have a HUGE stress-busting toolkit always handy that we can dig into from moment to moment. Over the years, as I pondered my own flow in and out of ease and thriving in my life, I became aware of three challenges I
had been ignoring. These may sound familiar. 1. Flying Solo. Flying Solo means doing everything yourself. I am embarrassed to admit that I can be a champion at Flying Solo! One of the things I have learned to do is to delegate and to ask for help. It feels so good to receive help from others. And it allows them the opportunity to give to you. 2. Holding On. Holding On refers mainly to holding on to emotional energy. We all do this. Sometimes a powerful emotion overwhelms us and we just can’t deal with it right now. So we end up stuffing it somewhere in our body so we can deal with it later. This is fine in the short term, but if we don’t return to deal with it later, the emotional energy festers and turns into discomfort and disease. Like my hives.
Sound works so well because it’s very physical. Sound goes through you. And as it goes through you, it sets every atom of your being into a state of vibration. When the vibration stops your being resets to its normal healthy patterns. Sound is such a great tool because human beings are wired for sound from our atoms to our energetic networks! At the quantum level, we ARE music! Sharon Carne is an author, speaker, musician, recording artist, sound healer, Reiki master and consultant. Sharon is the founder of Sound Wellness and the Sound Wellness Institute. Through the Sound Wellness Institute, holistic health practitioners receive the highest level of competency training in using sound and music to support their practice. Sound Wellness programs are at the forefront of education in how sound and music can be easily applied to your everyday life - to reduce stress, help you concentrate, energize you, inspire you and support your health. www.soundwellness.com
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SELF-LOVE and
SELF-DESTRUCT are
INCOMPATIBLE
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by Liberty Forrest
A
s all of us know, life can be very difficult. Worse for some than for others, but all of us have our own struggles. How we get through them depends upon a variety of factors, such as life experience, spiritual or other beliefs, and how strong our support systems are. One of the most important aspects of coping with stress and life’s challenges is how you feel within yourself, and about yourself. Do you feel a sense of turmoil? Are unresolved emotional issues eating at you? Do you feel like a failure? Is there a steamer trunk filled with self-esteem issues strapped to your back? If there is some element of these kinds of problems overshadowing your life, it is easy to be self-destructive, especially when faced with the challenges that lie in your path. When you don’t feel confident and at peace with yourself, self-doubt creeps in, quickly followed by negative self-talk which rapidly turns into self-criticism and guilt. In that frame of mind, it’s a short trip to self-destruct. You can end up feeling like there’s no use in trying, you don’t deserve to be happy - or worse, you deserve the difficulties you’re having. You can slide into choices that validate what you believe (that’s our “auto pilot” default setting anyway), and the turmoil and unrest continue. The unhealthy habits continue. The poor lifestyle choices continue. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 61
It is only when we truly love ourselves - for all we are, and for all we aren’t - that it is impossible to do anything self-destructive. Take a look at your life and your lifestyle. Are you consciously making unhealthy choices for yourself? Are you deliberately putting yourself in situations that are harmful to you physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually? Most of us do this to one degree or another. We don’t exercise, we drink too much alcohol, or we smoke or eat too much junk food. We stay in unhealthy relationships, allowing partners to belittle us or control us, we don’t get enough sleep or enough playtime. Can you see any self-destructive tendencies in your own
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behavior? If so, perhaps a little chat with yourself is in order to try and determine its origin. Perhaps you already know. Or perhaps you need a little help in figuring it out. Once you’re aware of the cause of your self-destructive actions (or inactions), focus on selflove. Begin treating yourself as though you deserve to be loved, respected and valued, even if you don’t believe it 100% to start. It might feel a little strange at first but stick with it. Treat yourself as if you’re someone you adore, someone you really love. Find ways to address the deeper issues. There are countless self-help books available; there are support groups, chat rooms, blogs, all kinds of ways to find help and
healing. Whatever it is that is at the core of self-destructive behavior, I can assure you, you are definitely not alone. Healing is possible - if you want it. The goal is self-love and inner peace, and once you reach it, you will be unable to harm yourself or anyone else. Now isn’t that a goal worth reaching? Liberty Forrest is an award-winning inspirational author and Huffington Post contributor. For five years, she did frequent phone-ins on the BBC as a psychic/medium. With a background in social work and counselling, Liberty’s unique program uses a highly creative multifaceted approach to get people unstuck so that they can move forward in their personal and spiritual evolution.
Lynn Darmon PSYCHIC MEDIUM REIKI PRACTITIONER Lynn is a Psychic Medium born with clairvoyant, clairaudient and precognitive abilities. She first became aware of this gift at age five. As she grew older her abilities developed, receiving messages from the Other Side, first from family members who’d passed and then messages from loved ones of people around her. Lynn describes this gift of guidance from Spirit as “Second Sight.” During a reading, Lynn will take you on a journey from your past where she will peek into your childhood, to the present and offer you channeled guidance from Spirit as you continue on your Spiritual Path into your future. Serving as a conduit between the Spirit World and this world, Lynn conveys messages from those who have passed with the intention of providing validation, healing and further guidance to their loved ones here. Most recently featured on
Lynn has been featured on ABC’s 20/20, The Huffington Post, AOL, Yahoo News, The Oakland Press, The Detroit Jewish News, Eydis Magazine, MY Magazine, Body, Mind, Spirit Radio, the Lisa Bousson Show, and has been featured in the recently published book, “Everyday Oracles,” by Ann Bolinger-McQuade.
31224 Mulfordton • Ste. D • Farmington Hills • 248.860.1121 www.heavenswhisper.net • lynn@heavenswhisper.net Facebook: Medium Lynn Darmon SERVICES PROVIDED: In person • By phone • E-mail • Skype
• In home
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I FORGIVE MYSELF by Monika Laschkolnig
Monika Laschkolnig is an expert on inner transformation, author, intuitive guide and a spiritual teacher. Trained in the West and Far East, she combines entrepreneurial skills with leading an awakened life and being a conscious parent. Monika runs an educational franchise as well as she is the Founder of the Inner Strength Academy, offering Modern Spirituality; Self-Love & Self-Forgiveness; Management by Intuition; Conscious Parenting; Self-Worth & Success; and Accessing Inner Wisdom. She authored the bestseller “1 Question That Can Change Your Life: Unleash The Power of Your Self-Worth�. Her motto: Live with feet on Earth, heart in Heaven.
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I forgive myself
I forgive myself
For having made all the mistakes
For having learnt not to love myself
Had I known better, I would have chosen differently
I accepted it was right not to care about myself, but now I know who I am
So I forgive myself
So I forgive myself
I forgive myself
I forgive myself
For having felt hurt when I didn’t feel loved and wanted
For taking things as directed against me
They never promised me they would, so it was just my unmet expectation So I forgive myself I forgive myself
They were just events that took place because the doers were not happy with their life So I forgive myself I forgive myself
For believing them when they said I’m unworthy
For having given my power away, letting them decide for myself
They didn’t see my light and spoke out of their shadows
I felt fear or didn’t know better, but now I’m ready to learn
So I forgive myself
So I forgive myself
I forgive myself
I forgive myself
For feeling scared and getting hurt when they acted out their anger
For having expressed hurtful judgments of myself, which made me judge others too
I know now it was not about me – it was their inability to cope with life better
I’ve finally tasted the sweetness of love over the bitterness of the critique-poison
So I forgive myself
So I forgive myself
I forgive myself
I forgive myself
For the suffering when I felt I don’t belong
For believing I’m unable, I’m small, I don’t count
It made me journey inwards and find my spirit, my true home
I allow myself to acknowledge the truth that I have gifts and I’m worthy
So I forgive myself
So I forgive myself
I forgive myself
I forgive myself
For feeling let down
That it took me so long to learn to forgive
They did what they believed was ok – my hurt came from what I wanted from them
But I was willing to learn
So I forgive myself
So now I forgive and start to respect myself
I forgive myself For having believed that my love is worthless My love is precious – but they were too hurt to open up to it So I forgive myself
- Monika Laschkolnig form the book “One Question That Can Change Your Life!” myauthenticlifemagazine.com 65
Persistence THE POWER OF by Dean Griffiths
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“Know the wonder inside you, release yourself to your inner world. Celebrate your truth and make this the gift to the world�
www.myauthenticlifemagazine.com myauthenticlifemagazine.com 67
M
ost successful entrepreneurs and athletes attribute their success to persistence more than any other trait. Being persistent is the one thing which separates the winners from the losers. When a person makes up his or her mind to accomplish a particular feat and set their focus in that direction, refusing to be deterred, he or she usually will achieve it or even go beyond that which they thought was possible. From Michael Jordan, one of the best basketball player of all time who was actually cut from his high school basketball team to Tim Ferris, the man behind the 4 Hour Workweek, who was rejected by 26 publishers before one gave him a chance. History is full of story after story of people whose perseverance helped them achieve success.
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Persistence is about having a clear vision of what it is that you want to achieve. Persistence of action comes from persistence of vision. When you’re clear in your mind of the impact that you want to have in the world or the legacy that you want to leave behind for those that follow, then you’ll be more consistent — and persistent — in your actions. And that consistency of action will produce consistency of results. Once you are clear on your vision, then you have to believe that you can. To accomplish anything, we have to have an inner belief that we’re up for the challenge ahead. That doesn’t mean it will be easy or that we even know how we’re going to accomplish it. Usually, we don’t know. It just means we believe we’re capable.
Successful people never stop dreaming and looking for ways to achieve them, until they have been accomplished. In 1985, a broke and depressed Jim Carrey drove his old beat-up Toyota up the Hollywood hills. There, sitting overlooking Los Angeles, he daydreamed of success. To make himself feel better, Carrey wrote himself a check for $10 million for “acting services rendered,” post-dated it 10 years and kept it in his wallet. Ten years later, he was not earning 10 million dollars per film; he was earning 20 million dollars per film! If you look into human motivation, you will see that everything we do is generated by our attitude. Our attitude, by definition, is formed by habits of thought. It is the way
we think about persistence that determines it and if we continue or give up. Either we can choose to see possibilities or we can choose to see problems. Richard Branson when faced with a canceled flight to the British Virgin Islands (BVI) because they didn’t have enough passengers to warrant the flight, decided to take things into his own hands. “I had a beautiful lady waiting for me in BVI and I hired a plane and borrowed a blackboard and as a joke, I wrote Virgin Airlines on the top of the blackboard, $39 one way to BVI. I went out around all the passengers who had been bumped and I filled up my first plane.” This is how Virgin Airlines was born. He was fed up with airlines that didn’t care about their passengers and he wanted to do something about it. He saw a possibility, not a problem. Something that is really important with persistence, is knowing that nothing significant was ever accomplished without adversity. Most people overstate what they can achieve in a year and underestimate what that can do in 10 years. So know and accept that there will be obstacles, delays, and setbacks along the way. Research actually shows that when you feel like you have some control over your failures, you’re much more likely to continue to try to achieve your goals. In a study by researchers at the
Department of Psychology at Rutgers University, they found that when the participants failed by their own fault, the area of the brain that deals with learning via trial and error, called the ventral striatum, which also plays an important role in motivation, responded. Researchers concluded that could mean that when people make mistakes by their own actions, they learn from them and forge ahead. However, when the participants experienced a setback that was out of their control, the area of the brain called the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, which deals with emotional regulation and processing risk and fear, was activated. The researcher suggested that when people encounter uncontrollable bumps in the road, they need to emotionally deal with the setback to move forward. Sometimes we will meet hurdles along the way and maybe not sure what to do. When you don’t know what to do, simply do some research, go to a seminar or hire a coach, so that you can learn how to handle the obstacles you meet. We now live in a world that gives us access to an abundance of tools and resources that can help us deal with most situations when they arise, as well as people who have already faced whatever it is we’re dealing with. Being persistent basically, comes down to one thing. Fully committing to not giving
up on your goals no matter what happens. It’s looking at whatever comes along your path as an opportunity and being determined to deal with it as best as you can so you can continue on your journey toward success. In the words of the 30th President of the United States, John Calvin Coolidge. “Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘Press On’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.” Perceived Control Influences Neural Responses to Setbacks and Promotes Persistence -http://www.cell.com/ neuron/references/S08966273(14)00687-4 Dean Griffiths is known as The Soul Whisperer, a gifted intuitive coach who works with female entrepreneurs to empower them to live a life of purpose, through his intuitive consultations and Inner Journey Coaching program. Dean is also the founder of Energy Fusion, a health and wellbeing app that informs and inspire users to take charge of their health through engaging animated videos, e-books, seasonal recipes and meditation music. Everything is based on over 30 years of experience and backed by science. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 69
THE BEAUTY OF
Surrender by Janette Stuart
T
he Angel Angles community just finished focusing upon surrender during the month of August. Daily, we have pondered the concept of surrendering. Some of us have even taken inspired action to surrender,
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to trust, to step forward into the unknown, in faith. This is not a surrender of giving up in a powerless manner; it is not a rolling over and quitting just because something is scary or uncomfortable; it is surrendering in faith with the
inner knowledge that all is well. It is trust. It is retaining our inner power and, through faith, releasing the situation to God for Divine transformation, with love and grace. Allowing the ego to take a back seat and all the while trusting that we will be
place within us, where it is festering and bringing us so much pain. We can now open up, surrendering our ego and the matter to God to heal us. We release and allow and give the situation to God once and for all. Once we release it to the light, we are free. We no longer bear the heavy burden alone. Freedom is ours. Is it time, beautiful one, to open up and release that heavy burden today? You are surrounded by so much Divine love.” It is not raising the white flag, helplessly and giving up. It is standing up, with courage, with faith, with our power fully intact and willfully giving the situation to God with an open heart, open mind and detaching from the outcome. Knowing in faith that the best and highest good for all will be achieved. It is an act of surrender in faith knowing that the Divine will magnify our little pinch of faith into greatness.
stronger and improved because of our surrender. Below is a passage about surrender and trust from my book “On a Path of Joy”, Vol. One, Day 11 available here: http://bit.ly/AAOnaPathofJoy.
“This is a beautiful prayer or affirmation that can change our whole outlook. By surrendering, we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to be open and to release the situation to God in faith. We bring the matter out of the deep, dark hiding
We have often heard the term “let go and let God.” That requires an act of surrender on our part. Are you feeling the need to “Let it Go?” I can’t help but smile when I hear those words sung from the movie “Frozen”. I think this movie has helped raise awareness about surrender and trust. Perhaps you agree. Surrender is an act of deep trust, of faith, of relinquishment, an inner knowing that the Divine has our ultimate and highest
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good in store for us. We can rest assured that by releasing our concerns to the Divine we will be stronger, and the outcome of the situation will be better than we could have ever imagined. Over the past few days, I have been pondering surrendering the need to control a personal situation which has been frustrating me for ages. I thought I could motor through the situation by myself; my ego was leading the charge. Why did I hold onto it for so long, thinking I could do the hard work myself? Last night under the light of the full moon, I finally chose to release this need for control to God. This morning, I am free, my burden has been lifted.
By surrendering the situation to the Divine, detaching from the outcome, I gratefully acknowledge God and my angels for wiping the slate clean, giving me such peace and a heart full of joy and contentment. The heaviness has been replaced with Light. I am so grateful. Do you have something you are contemplating surrendering to the Divine? If so, dear one, may you be encouraged with so much love and support. Allow yourself to surrender, to trust, to let go and let God. I’m rooting for you every step of the way.
I’m Janette Stuart, Founder of Angel Angles which is my labor of love. I have wanted to express my soul’s work in a more visible way and am now devoting more time to Angel Angles since my retirement in 2015. Angel Angles exists to spread more love, joy and peace into the world. I have always loved to write, I write every day. I write longhand in several different journals as well as type electronically. I have always loved handwriting, the sending of cards and notes, the keeping of a journal or diary. My first book, “On a Path of Joy” will be available in September. I am thrilled. My hope is that the book will help the reader develop or enhance their relationship with their Creator. I am a grateful member of and core blogger for The Wellness Universe. The Wellness Universe is an evolutionary community of members who are positively impacting the world in one or more of the 7 areas of wellness. As a lifelong empath, I have experienced people’s feelings deeply. I have a deep compassion for my fellow man and love deeply. I choose to live a joy filled life each day and hope to help others do the same. Joy is my focus word for 2016. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area with my husband of 33 years, Mark, and our rescue boxer dog, Spike. We have a grown son, Max, who is happily serving in the Coast Guard. I am a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, neighbor as well as an angelic practitioner. Besides writing, I am a lifelong learner, who reads daily, I also enjoy walking in nature, sky watching, cooking, RVing along the California Coast and visiting with friends and family. Some of my most requested recipes are Asian Chicken Salad and Sticky Toffee Pudding. 72 | MY Magazine
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SIMPLY Spiritual
THE DREAM EXPERTS
What Does Your Dream Mean? by Kathryn and Patrick Andries
Dear Dream Expert,
Dear Wedding Helper,
I dreamed that I was helping at a wedding. I was in a room and my job was to take care of the flowers. There were all kinds of beautiful flowers. I had to make various displays. I was enjoying myself. There was some question as to whether or not I was invited to the actual wedding – I was.
A wedding is recognition of a commitment to yourself. Keep in mind that the people in the wedding represent parts of yourself. Flowers represent beauty and thoughts about being receptive in your life.
Then I was at my mother’s house. My father was in the den watching television. I was in the kitchen helping my mother get dinner ready. I brought a plate of dinner out for my father and put it on a television tray for him. Another part of the dream I am with my mother and she needs to get back home because she is having a dinner party. When we get home the people had already arrived and there were tables full of people eating. At some point, I wanted to get ready and put on some makeup, so I looked in the mirror and saw some black hairs. I remembered that in my waking life I had already been to electrolysis recently and I was bummed that she didn’t get those hairs. Sincerely, Wedding Helper
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Your mother and father are aspects of your inner authority. Television indicates that you are using your inner communication. This could be using your intuition or telepathy with another person. The meal represents that you are learning (taking in knowledge). The dinner party indicates that the part of you that has authority is sharing the knowledge with other parts of yourself. This can be likened to taking something that you have learned, like discipline, and applying it to many parts of your life. However, you are not fully satisfied with how you are expressing your identity, as shown by the black hairs that had been missed.
Dear Dream Expert,
Dear Dream Expert,
I dreamed that I walked into this very posh store, like a clothing store. This pretty lady was there. She had an accent, so I asked her if she was French and she said: “no, Berlin.”
I had a dream that my mom was lying in bed. She was either ill or not feeling well. My dad was there too. My cousin called to be picked up from somewhere, so they tell me to go and get him.
There was this huge book that I was looking through about islands and Polynesia. They had beautiful pictures of the water and islands. There were headings and descriptions about them. There was a picture of a man in the water with a huge black snake coiled next to him. The article said, “Even the large snakes in those areas don’t scare people away from these areas.”
I had a procedure done at a hospital. Now I have this small hard silver ball lodged in my belly button. This one person tells me that I need to get the ball out because it is toxic. It is the toxins produced by something.
Sincerely, Big Shopper
There are lots of people around and I am taking pictures of my husband. He is holding up a box of cookies that everyone says are good. I take the picture and then he holds up a little kitten. I take another picture. Sincerely, Toxic
Dear Big Shopper, A store is a place where you invest your value. A clothing store has many different options for how you might want to express yourself. You are making choices about how you want to express yourself. The lady is a part of yourself that is foreign to you. The book represents using your memory. The islands are a place within yourself where you are involved in your emotional experiences. You considered these experiences to be very positive. The snake is some habitual way that you think or act. Even with this fairly large habit, you are not scared by these emotions.
Dear Toxic, Your mother and father represent authoritative parts of yourself. The receptive part of you has some issues. Another part of you, symbolized by the cousin, wants your attention, which you deliver. The hospital is a place in your mind where healing occurs. You are focusing on healing and are aware of toxins in your body. There is a need for cleansing. Pictures are using the memory. Your husband is a commitment to using the whole mind. Cookies are knowledge that does not have very much productive value but is enjoyable in the short-term. The kitten is a habit that does not seem very harmful of significant.
Kathryn and Patrick Andries are the dream experts. They are the authors of the recently released book from Ozark Mountain Publishing, Naked in Public: Dream Symbols Revealed, and The Dream Doctor. If you would like a dream interpreted, please send it in the body of an e-mail to: intuitiveschool@sbcglobal.net. Learn more about their books at www.ozarkmt.com. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 77
THE CHOICE TO DO BETTER TO MAKE THINGS BETTER
78 | MY Magazine
by Elaine M. Grohman
S
ometimes, things are broken. Not the kind of broken when an easy repair is possible. A little tape here, a little glue there. But broken to the extent that a repair is impossible. Sometimes, the pieces are shattered, strewn across the landscape of lives like shrapnel that has become embedded and covered by scar tissue. Although unseen, shrapnel can still be felt, poking from the inside, constantly irritating, and rendering it impossible to ignore its presence and potential to cause further damage and harm. When something, anything breaks, it is wise to face the truth that lays before you by looking squarely at the situation you are facing in order to make an honest appraisal. Is this worth saving? Is this beyond repair? Would it be best to create something new and perhaps better? What have I/we learned? What have we chosen to ignore? Where can we go from here? What are other possibilities that might exist? Education. Healthcare. Governance. Each of these vital parts of our civilization has become increasing un-civilized. Unmanageable. In short – broken. Our systems can no longer be bandaged, medicated, mandated, legislated nor repaired, at least not in their current state. They must be re-invented. Not according to party lines, or whoever pockets will be lined, but with good, (not old) new common sense. We were born to Learn. Each and every Human Being has been born to Learn. Learning is not the mere accumulation of Knowledge, but the employment of Wisdom gleaned from Knowledge, sifted from useful information and experiences of both the workable and the unworkable. Then through thoughtful appraisal, open communication, and action, can we move forward for the enrichment of all Life. We were born to experience Life and then Learn from those experiences. We can only advance in Life when we make deliberately thoughtful, conscious choices that enhance the Lives of all Living Beings. We were not born to take things as status quo, but rather to evolve, to move in a forward direction, no longer willing to stay stagnant simply because that is “just the way it is,” nor are we meant to struggle to “argue across party lines,” but to work together as the Family of Humanity. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 79
“You have been telling the people, That this is the eleventh hour. Now, you must go and tell the people, That THIS is the hour, And there are things to be considered.
At this time in history, We are to take nothing personally. Least of all, ourselves! For the moment we do, Our spiritual growth and journey comes to an end. The time of the Lone Wolf is over! Gather yourselves! Banish the word ‘struggle’ from your attitude and vocabulary. All that we do now must be done, In a sacred manner and in celebration. We are all about to go on a journey, We are the ones we have been waiting for!” It is time for us to Be Better. Do Better. And make better all of the wrongs we have created. We are indeed, the ones we have been waiting for.
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Education is not simply taking tests. It must revolve around joyful, exuberant and creative problem-solving. Governance is not simply the right or the left, one party over another. It must revolve around joyful, exuberant and collaborative problem-solving. Healthcare is not simply illness management. It must revolve around the joyful, willing and intentional care of the Self, as well as all others, as the Body is the magnificent vehicle that houses the Spirit that experiences Life. In celebration of the Hopi Prophecy, credited to having been put into a poem by
Thomas Banyacya Sr. (19101999); Speaker of the Wolf, Fox and Coyote Clan and Elder of the Hopi Nation. Allow me to draw excerpts from this important poem.
Elaine Grohman is a speaker, author, energy healer and angel reader. She has a private practice in Farmington, MI. For appointments please contact Lainie Rubio at 248.320.6532 or visit her website at www.elainegrohman.com
Let us know if you are interested in writing, we are changing the world one article at a time!
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THE TAPESTRY OF Life
by Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC
Y
ears ago I attended a seminar that explained how people tend to compare themselves to others in a judgmental manner. Participants were encouraged to look at their own and especially others’ lives as a tapestry. While the front of the tapestry may appear
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flawless, the back is filled with knots and strings. Therefore it is important to remember: That which is visible as well as that which is hidden make up the entirety of one’s life; so don’t be fooled by seeing only that which is visible.
As the years have passed, I realize that to understand the individual’s or the collective human experience, there are additional ‘invisible’ layers to detect and understand. How might your life be different if you looked at all the aspects that create your life? Would you
dwelling on a perceived negative detail (that cellulite, blemish, etc) as this one aspect does not define your whole self. Allow yourself to see how your life can be different if you recognize the entirety of who you are. As you seek the awareness of who you really are, you can also observe patterns. Some of these patterns are hidden, while others might be quickly recognizable as themes that have recurred through your life. These themes might include abandonment, loss, power, justice, control, truth, peace, nature, seeking, etc. These patterns likely make up some of the lessons that your soul has chosen to experience in this lifetime.
then see the completeness of yourself more accurately? What would it be like if you viewed the varied aspects of your own life and not just the perceived whole? Please be candid as you evaluate yourself, and avoid
To identify these themes, you can evaluate the experiences of your childhood. You might also consider the following: Some professionals believe you can carry subconscious or energetic memories from your time in-utero, and others believe you might carry the biophysical effects of traumatic experiences that your parents and grandparents experienced. Respected psychiatrist Dr. Brian Weiss additionally believes that the energetic memories of your prior lives can impact you in this lifetime. To release the effects of these patterns there are varied approaches. •
Move your energy (chi) through your body. Effective
examples are tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique), acupuncture, massage, yoga, and tai chi. •
Practice meditation.
•
Support your physical body with plenty of sleep, nutritious foods, and water.
•
Work with a therapist, especially one who knows how to see patterns and themes.
•
Meet with a spiritual counselor.
•
Try guided imagery and/or past life regression.
Look at the entirety of the tapestry of your life. Might you want to examine the patterns, layers, and dimensions to determine if your tapestry might be rearranged? Doing so might decrease your anxiety, assist you in relationships, and improve the overall quality of your life. Enjoy your journey. I welcome hearing about your experiences. Judy Lipson is a licensed, professional counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@ spiralwisdom.net, and visit SpiralWisdom. net for more information.
This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 83
Write For MY Authentic Life Magazine
“The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe.” 84 | MY Magazine
–Gustave Haubert
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ACCIDENTAL INSPIRATION
86 | MY Magazine
by Kate Sholonski
I
am frequently amused by the way my mind works (or doesn’t work) and one morning I laughed out loud at an accidental source of inspiration while walking in the cemetery, a beautiful and quiet place for exercise. I was finishing up my third lap away from the sounds of traffic, feeling very peaceful and happy with myself for getting out of bed so early in morning for the purpose of a physical workout. As I walked along, listening to music, I noticed a tombstone that I had never seen before. There it was, now in full view, an old, weather worn stone, which was likely a memorial to one of the original settlers of my town. What I saw at first glance was Kates Button, which made me smile since it made me think of how my button has been so easily pushed in the past. As I looked closer, I saw what was really written, which was Kate S. Button. Now that my mind woke up from its slumber, I decided to play with my initial interpretation of Kate’s Button and what that meant to me. First of all, I thought about what or who, pushes my buttons. There have been a few people over the years that I have allowed to push my buttons on a regular basis. In giving this permission, I allowed them to steal my joy, upset me and many times even ruin my day. Obviously, button pushing, as we know it does not feel good and frequently leaves us feeling victimized. Over the years, I have become quite adept at identifying button pushers and have learned
to keep my button off limits by reminding myself that only I am in charge of what will get my attention and my response. From there, my mind went to thoughts about what pushes my button that makes me feel ON or that which takes me from dullness to aliveness. Many things came to mind such as the company of certain people, travel experiences, creating new projects, training, speaking, dancing, yoga and many other activities that I love to do. My own thoughts can even push my ON button. Remembering I have more than one button will keep me alert, intentional and on purpose so any future button pushing will add joy to my life, not take it away. Kate transitioned from a 28 year nursing career to life coaching and as a personal fulfillment workshop leader in 2001. After many years of coaching people from all walks of life, she and her business partner repeatedly heard requests from their clients to combine joy and fulfillment with leadership principles. It was that concept that led them to create their business, Triumph Leadership Group, where they focus on training teams from all sized businesses to build positive and productive cultures. Kate and her business partner, David Larson have co-authored two books, Wide Awake: Three Minutes a Day to an Inspired Life and Heartfelt Leadership: Creating a Culture of Connection. They believe when relationships don’t work, the business doesn’t work and that workers who share heartfelt connections will help business thrive on every level.
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SEARCHING FOR A
Joyful Life!
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by Gary Stuart
I
t was a supreme honor to review Dr. Partha Nandi’s first book “ASK Dr. Nandi: 5 Steps to becoming your own #HealthHero for Longevity, Wellbeing and a Joyful Life”. I have had the blessing of reading this advance copy for Simon Schuster’s, new North Star Way imprint. Recently I had met Dr. Nandi at a presentation I was giving at a special “Deep Dive Retreat” event for the Evolutionary Business Council. As an Alternative heaIer, generally I have suspicions about Western Medicine, but I was personally impressed by his openness, curiosity, and interest in my work. So where to begin? I must start with “Namaste” “The Light in ME Honors the Light in YOU!” This is true of Dr. Nandi, as it is with anyone who is seriously committed to serving Humanity with any modality. After all, Healing is about shedding light on a perceived darkness such a sickness or disease. In my journey, I’ve found the “DisEase is actually a messenger that forces us to pay attention to what is needed “NOW” and or “FAST!” This makes “dis-ease” itself a bringer of light and it’s to be respected as such. Dr. Nandi provided a very concise wake-up call to grab our attention around many things, such as, the food we eat, who we share food with, and what types of food best serve us. These type of lifestyle changes really matter in the long run and he expertly tells us why? He provides how too and even easy, great tips to get us there. This pertinent information is a blessing on so many levels. What I like most, is the tone of the book which is both heartfelt and conversational. Having met Dr. Nandi myself, I can truly say who he is and what he says is true and from the heart. This is a very rare find in the Western Medicine model of care. I’m sure his east Indian upbringing, myauthenticlifemagazine.com 89
with its own health challenges, shaped him into his greatness as a man, as well as, the doctor he has so expertly become. He has HEART and a good soul not to mention expert advice and wonderful communication skills in person and with the written word. I know it seems ironic that “dis-ease can actually be a gift,” or at the very least an invitation to change as quickly as possible. The added benefit is when simple changes are made, results happen. Dr. Nandi expertly guides you into the “how” and “why” you need to make them for long lasting personal and familial benefits. Many of us who are committed to our own well being will be lucky to transform the message of any health or emotional challenge into renewed hope and vitality if we are lucky. As a young child, Dr. Nandi went through his own crisis of experiencing Rheumatic fever which inspired him to become a Doctor and #HealthHero. 90 | MY Magazine
He attributes his own personal #HealthHero(s) to be his Family. This includes his father Uma Partha, who recently passed, his mom and sister as well as some extended family contributing to Dr. Nandi’s success today. Even the kindness of Dr. Rashekhar, the doctor who treated Dr. Nandi as a child, inspired him to be the man he is today. Those first #healthhero(s) unintentionally changed the trajectory of his whole incarnation in this lifetime. It’s thought provoking to see that the love and care that Dr. Nandi received as a child, would affect millions of people in his future. He evolved as an MD and thought leader by looking deeper into his clients and into humanity on many other levels of awareness. “The supreme blessings given to him by those kind and dedicated people as a child, had a profound impact on Dr. Nandi, as their goodness and love inspired him to be a force for good. Now he passes on the blessings of kindness, wisdom, and knowledge that were given to him. He has become the embodiment of Namaste”
Now that he’s a practicing MD with a highly rated show on, ABC television (WXYX Detroit) Ask Dr. Nandi, he has the opportunity to share those blessings with the world and inspire others to participate in “preventative and anti-aging health practices. Dr. Nandi shares many tips in his book with his #1 tip being, finding your purpose! A tip he practiced in his own life for sure. I would tell you the other 4 tips but you MUST buy the book on Amazon or your local book retailer for the rest. By reading his book, you will feel his motivation and inspiration in a way that is life changing. You will find not only tips but case histories that mirror his own experiences. As a seasoned Alternative healer, I was very impressed how he melds Eastern and Western philosophy. He synthesizes the medical model along with good common sense which helps his readers and patients get out of their own way. Sometimes we need a cheerleader, a #HealthHero to help us stay the course. He embodies that and so much more! Dr. Nandi reminds us of what many of us already know, but he helps us put it into practice and luxuriate in the health and well-being we all so deserve. The choice is ours as “ASK Dr. Nandi” helps empower you, the reader as if he was speaking to you in his office. He is an advocate on your side for your highest good. His passion and dedication come from his big heart. Lifestyle changes matter. The quality of the food you ingest is more important than the quantity. As we know in America, we are the richest and sickest nation on Earth. We ALL need to choose
more wisely. Dr. Nandi guides you in simple proactive ways, to help you transform your body, your health and your life on many levels. So join me in reading his book as “WE” get to make him a well-deserved New York Times BEST SELLING Author! On a personal note, I view everything in life as a gift and that includes the negative, which is a message to get back to the positive. If you cannot get here alone, please read this book. It intentionally will help guide you by seeing the bigger picture, and by reading his book it will help you to take the profound steps towards being your own #HealthHero! Anyone at any age can take a preemptive and preventative approach at any moment in time, this new book is worth its weight in gold. As you know, the choices we make today can transform you tomorrow. The rewards will manifest in time, especially when we need it the most, as you age. Above all, Dr. Nandi empowers you to be the architect of your own health, with a splash of happiness and well-being, after all, what else are we here for? You can Pre-Order direct and get lots of extras too! Its worldwide release is Sept. 12th! Speaker, Author, Constellation Facilitator, Teacher has been documenting his healing experiences over the past several decades. As a young student of Primal Therapy and Shamanism, his insightful writings provide a unique perspective on the correlation between the micro and macro-cosmos, between our inner and outer worlds. His first book on Constellations Many Hearts, One Soul set the stage for his latest book Master Your Universe: How to Direct & Star in Your Own Life on Kindle or paperback at www. Amazon.com He leads healing workshops and trains nationally and internationally and resides in Los Angeles. Distance Family or Organizational Constellations are his healing specialty! He’s coming back to Detroit in August 2017 to WOW again! Give a GIFT that keeps on giving - CHANGE. Constellation Healing GIFT CERTIFICATES plus packages available.His FREE Consultation: www. testyourhappiness.com and online www.ConstellationsWithGaryStuart.com myauthenticlifemagazine.com 91
RECONNECT WITH YOUR
SPIRITUAL SELF
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by Dr. Kate Siner
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here are times in our lives when, for one reason or another, the spiritual aspect of our experience moves to the sideline. For some of us, learning how to nurture spiritual development was never a part of our lives at all, and this shift may go unnoticed. For others, the shift may be a wide and gaping rift in our lives. Reconnecting with your spiritual self-begins with learning how to nurture spiritual development. What is spirituality and why is it important? Spirituality means many things to many people. Some people might associate it with a magical feeling, others a state of inner calm, and others a sense of being connected - to a greater being, a greater meaning, or to themselves. Personally, I define it as the knowledge that there is a consciousness to all things.
WHY DO WE DISCONNECT? The sidelining of our spiritual experience might occur for some of us because we have outgrown our usual paradigm of understanding spirituality - this sometimes manifests as a feeling that our prescribed religion ceases to make sense to us. For others, Maslow’s hierarchy rules out - the dayto-day of life becomes so overwhelming that there is little time to dedicate to learning how to nurture spiritual development. There are also those of us for whom there never existed a connection to the spiritual. We were raised in an environment that did not honor the spiritual and so we did not learn how to connect with our internal sense of spirituality. Whatever the reason, when a distance grows between our self and our spirituality we become cut off from a powerful resource. Relearning how to nurture spiritual development takes openness and intentionality. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 93
HOW TO NURTURE SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT First, remember that spirituality is a process more than a goal. Linking your spiritual experience to an event (like meditation, yoga, or sermon) is good and well, but let’s push ourselves in our development so that we can reconnect with our spirituality in an everyday kind of way.
to you, what creates meaning for you, and what helps you be a better person. Make these things part of your spiritual life regardless of what they look like.
YOU’VE GOT SOMETHING TO LEARN FROM THE DISCONNECT
LET GO OF WHAT DOESN’T WORK SO YOU CAN LET IN WHAT DOES WORK
Maybe you once felt very spiritually connected, but you do not feel that way now. When this happens, we can feel that we’ve lost something and we jump to all sorts of conclusions about what this means about us.
If your religion no longer aligns with your beliefs, if you’re turned off by some of the atrocities committed in the name of religion, or if you cannot put science on hold to believe a literal interpretation of the creation myth, put down these thoughts.
These moments of loss and disconnect can be as meaningful as our moments of spiritual connection. These difficult times have their own sweet reward and often teach us how to open more deeply to our spiritual truths.
Why? Because, despite the idea that faith requires you to accept the beliefs of your religion wholecloth, most spiritual teachers think for themselves. Most atrocities made in the name of religion have less to do with faith and more to do with small-minded human behavior. Spirituality does not create harm to others. Hateful, fearful, and judgmental people do. I encourage you to look for what makes sense
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When we learn to surrender to our heart, reach toward higher ideals, and let go of our shallow needs, our experience becomes more profound and meaningful. We learn that what we need to be deeply fulfilled is here and now in the present moment. Instead of looking for change, take a look at what you are resisting and see if you can embrace it.
HIT THE PAUSE BUTTON A moment of pause is infinitely important and almost always helpful. Simply put, if we stop and let what is happening around us sink into our consciousness, we reconnect to the truth of our experience. The only thing we need to do is to stop long enough to let this happen. We can stop in different ways. We can go on a retreat or spend a weekend at home being quiet. We can stop the raging of our anger and create space for love in our heart. We can stop the chatter of our mind and allow for more presence. Ideally, we can do all of these. If you don’t have time to pause your life, do what you can. Even brief pauses like stopping to take a few deep breaths can bring in a deeper connection to yourself and what is around you. Over time the effects will become noticeable. Remember, Spirituality is a process and it doesn’t come with dogma. So, open up, explore and find your own pathways to your spiritual connection. You’re the only one who knows how to nurture spiritual development in yourself. Dr. Kate Siner is a teacher, mentor, and author who helps clients create lives of meaning, fulfillment, and purpose. She helps gifted, dedicated, and caring people to live fiercely, love fully, and care more.
Do you want to be a catalyst of change and have a profound, positive impact in the world by strengthening your own work? The Integrative Transformational Coaching program is an exceptional training with top-notch resources for people who want to make a difference working with others one-on-one. To learn more about this opportunity and how it might be right for you, CLICK HERE. [Please link to http://katesiner.com/trainwith-me/transformational-coaching/ Dr. Kate can’t wait to get started with you if you are ready to take this next step forward in your work as a practitioner. Dr. Kate Siner is an award-winning Entrepreneurial and Personal Development mentor, speaker, author, and radio show host. Kate has a Ph.D. in Psychology and years of both clinical and coaching experience. Her passion is to help people move past whatever holds them back so that they may embrace all they can be. Kate has developed a series of successful personal development programs, newest of which is LifeWork Virtual. Learn more at www.katesiner.com or at admin@katesiner.com. UPCOMING EVENTS: Group Healing Intensive We all feel stuck once in awhile, but some of us feel stuck too often. Some of us seem to struggle through life more than others, and sometimes we keep struggling with the same thing over and over again. Eventually, we reach a point at which we recognize that we’re no longer willing to live our lives this way. In fact, we’re no longer willing to live in any way that is less than completely and fully. That’s when you’re ready for deep transformation. Group Healing Intensive is an intimate two-day intensive that harnesses the power of community to foster deep transformation and healing. Learn more → http://katesiner.com/work-with-me/ personal-development-programs/group-healing-intensive/ myauthenticlifemagazine.com 95
Wealth Consciousness
Manifest your destiny
DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW?
5 TIPS TO USE IN MEETINGS by Carol Benson
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his is NOT a trick question. No, on the contrary, this can be a very real blind-spot for many business leaders and entrepreneurs. It is guaranteed to sneak up on you when you least expect it.
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Okay, so aside from the obvious things we don’t know (or maybe don’t need to know) like how to build the technical components of an electric car or all the strategic steps of doing business online. You can breathe a sigh of relief here.
After all, there are experts all over the place who are anxiously awaiting your call. If you’ve got the cash, they’ll gladly lend you a hand and step in. There’s a freedom knowing that their expertise can take over in any area you need. To emphasize, you don’t need to know everything! Cheers to another sigh of relief in leveraging yourself! Yes, it seems like a simple concept doesn’t it? So what gets in the way of this viewpoint? As a business leader or entrepreneur, you have a vast amount of know how and expertise in your specialty industry. Kudos to you on your journey to get where you are right now! There may be some things getting in your way that YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU DON’T KNOW YET!
“I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.”
—Plato, The Republic
Since you are a uniquely designed human personality with the intelligence, character traits and talents to be where you are right now in your business, how much time do you waste daily cluttering your brain with unnecessary chatter? To paraphrase the brilliant sentiment said by the Founder of TOMS, Blake Mycoskie, during his guest interview turn with Tim Ferris on his recent show “Fearless,” he uses a daily practice of journaling to unclutter his mind as, “a mental window wiper.” A few head nods and chuckles inserted here. Does this ring true for you?
If you want something done but have no clue how to do it or even the first place of where to begin, you can always find someone out there in the universe of business to hire instead. If it brings them joy to do “it,” all the better!
If all the mental chatter is getting in the way of you easing up a bit on the whole “need to know it all” thing, you may want to consider what blindspots you might have. And since blind-spots are hidden from your view or awareness, you may want to participate in a 360 process or simply ask trusted colleagues or even friends what comes up for them about you in a specific area. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 99
And this is tricky to address since blind-spots are cloudy misperceptions accompanied by misdirected mindsets. People can and will get defensive and shut down from any well-meaning, supportive feedback. How do you deal with the trickiness addressing any limiting beliefs about what another person believes they know but really are not seeing?
It takes courage to look at your blind-spots for sure. Especially in recognizing if certain things have repeated themselves with the same results over the years. Another option? Continue as is. Ouch! When you get to, “I’m done doing it this way!” then it’s time to take another road Only then can you shift from all the regular old outcomes into something you really want instead. In business, you interact with many different personalities. Some more challenging than others. How would you like to work with a highly recommended expert in marketing, “Jamie,” who failed to meet any of the agreed upon deadlines? This has happened to me. It’s frustrating and a major time-waster! Even sending out end-of-themonth invoices didn’t happen without calling to remind him! And yet here’s a perfect example of a talented pro who absolutely fails in so many areas of “not knowing.” Without going into great detail about the lack of communication, productivity systems and follow up, “Jamie” seemed stuck in the blind-spot arena he couldn’t see it. Although he’s an engaging and creative talent, sadly I cannot make a referral to colleagues. 100 | MY Magazine
In the August 2017 issue of SUCCESS magazine, Mike Agugliaro, owner of Gold Medal Service and CEO Warrior, always asks other people, “Would you rather hear a hurtful truth or a comforting lie?” Great questions!!! Here are some Leadership Tips you can use when in a difficult conversation with someone who tends to be a “know it all”: Tip #1. Be consciously intentional in what you say. It’s best to begin by taking ownership of what’s not working for YOU and your vision of how it could be (using “I” statements). Tip #2. Gage how open the person is about learning something new. How curious are they about their blind spots? Tip #3. If they are not ready to be curious or have an interest to learn something new, then they’re not ready and it’s not your job to change them. Tip #4. Meet them where they’re at for a satisfying resolution or outcome for you. If they’re an employee, it’s your job to determine if they can continue to be a good fit for your business or not. Tip #5. Be kind! Really feel empathy for their process without making them wrong. Whatever the outcome, there will be mutual respect for how it’s addressed.
ARE YOU CURIOUS TO LEARN & GROW FROM WHERE YOU’RE AT? Take some time to REFLECT on:
of possibility to reach different results than you’ve been getting right now?
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Are you satisfied living life as it is right now?
•
Are you a “learner” or controller?
But first, recognize and “know” where you’re at right now. And remember, begin first on your own mindset about to having to be right or be an expert. What can you shift? That one tiny shift will help you become more transparent and relaxed.
•
What fulfills you in your business and in your life?
It’s a courageous move for you to open up more learning possibilities!
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Do you get reactive when someone suggests you missed something?
Possibility: a thing that may happen; a likelihood; a hope; a risk; an option, choice, course of action or solution.
•
Can you receive feedback presented in a positive and kind way?
•
•
Or, do you shut down to any consideration that you may not “know it all?” Are you ready to open up to a wider lens
Possibility: a thing that may happen; a likelihood; a hope; a risk; an option, choice, course of action or solution. Yes, the more you trust not knowing, the more possibilities will begin showing up. Things you
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way of your growth, business profit and all that makes a successful venture purr? The BIG QUESTION here is “DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW?”
never even considered. Why is that? Because YOU DON’T HAVE TO RUN THE SHOW when you can create others to speak their point of view with more ease. A successful business owner, “Jay” recently approached Paul, my partner, at an event. The first thing he said was, “I’ve been watching and listening to you and I want to hire you to be my coach.” When Paul responded with “Tell me more.” Jay’s shoulders dropped in relief as he admitted, “I want you to show me what I don’t know that I don’t know.” WOW! Jay was willing to go to the next level in his business and in his life. He knew there was something missing and was willing to go the distance having another set of eyes guide him. He was also ready to let go of trying to control things with a tight grip in order to survive the daily grind of being an entrepreneur He was ready to invite fulfillment into his life and to take his business to the next level too!
There’s a bonus that comes with not knowing what you don’t know and that is a renewed excitement for the unexpected in your business and life as well as the freedom it affords you. Curiosity to reflect upon your blind-spots not only expands who you are as an individual, it also creates a powerful leadership mindset of vulnerable magnetism. Employees will form new levels of respect and clients will want to work with you and your business. A lot of forward growth in you will shore up those who want to work with you in a way that seems pretty effortless. The vision of “It doesn’t feel like work” believes our mission is to show how a composite of 9 specific areas can and will accelerate business growth, profitability and flourishing. To any reader of MY Authentic Life Magazine who is wondering what the next step might be in up-leveling their business and work-life balance to include more ease and fulfillment, here’s an invitation to DISCOVER WHAT YOUR BLIND-SPOTS might be that are getting in your way. Carol and Paul Benson are both accomplished mentors, authors, speakers and trainers. Carol, a licensed Speech Language Pathologist, specializes in emotional and relational intelligence strategies and leadership training for business teams. Paul Benson, a multimillion dollar business owner, is well-versed in cooperative team development, sales, negotiation and helping businesses improve their performance using unique best business practices.
Working with “It Doesn’t Feel Like Work” clients to have a “Thriving Business by Design,” is constantly full of surprises.
As authors of the highly-acclaimed book, “5 Steps to Thrive: Reveal Any Crisis as Opportunity,” (2013, Highpoint Life) Carol and Paul know firsthand what it takes to use a wider scope of mindsets as the competitive edge in a fast-past, ever changing global marketplace.
Would you like to have more ease in your work and life? Is having to “know it all” getting in the
itdoesntfeellikework.com carolbbenson@gmail.com
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Be aware of your surroundings and notice the world around you. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 103
Healthy Living
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LABOR DAY COOKOUT by Annabel Cohen
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abor Day weekend is the unofficial end of the summer. It’s only fitting that we either attend or throw another party, this time for a uniquely American event – a Monday without going to the office or wherever it is that we get to escape. For all of us who bring home the bacon this day celebrates we, the people, who keep the economy going. This holiday is about giving thanks to all the workers – including us – who’ve made positive contributions, both large and small to the health, safety, and productivity of workplaces around the country. If you’re like most people, grilling is the de facto cooking method for this holiday. Gas grills and barbecues are today the most popular methods of outdoor cooking. Still, some insist on the smoky flavor of a charcoal or wood fire. No matter what your preference – gas, wood or coals – there will be a lot of grilling and barbecuing on Labor Day. Burgers and dogs are easy. Chicken with
bottled barbecue sauce is also a standard that offers predictable if unimaginative, results. Why not vary the fare with a little something different. Brisket gets southern exposure when it’s slow cooked on the barby. Since our version is a shortcut and doesn’t rely on wood or charcoal to impart flavor, we’ve added a bit of “liquid smoke” (yes there is such a product) to add the smoky flavor the beef. In fact, feel free to use a bit of the stuff in the other recipes for fish, chicken, turkey burgers and eggplant, which are really easy and tasty – and a little different in the best way. Grilled pineapple makes a simple and unusual side dish or dessert. Don’t forget the power of the garnish! A generous sprinkle of fresh chopped parsley (or any herb), sesame seeds, minced red pepper or fresh flowers or leaves, goes a long way to making your delicious food look catered-perfect. Don’t wait for a recipe to guide you.
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Barbecue Beef Brisket Makes 8 servings
1/2 cup red wine vinegar 1/2 cup water 1/4 cup hot pepper sauce, such as Tabasco 3 Tbsp. paprika 2 Tbsp. kosher salt 2 Tbsp. chili powder 2 Tbsp. liquid smoke 2 Tbsp. prepared mustard 1 Tbsp. pepper 12 Brioche, pretzel or kaiser roll buns Heat grill to high. Rub the meat all over with the oil and sear well on both sides. Turn the heat off one side of the grill if possible, or, allow the grill to cool down to about 300°F (low). Place the brisket in a grill proof pan or disposable aluminum pan. Set aside.
1 5-6 pound beef brisket, trimmed of fat 1/4 cup vegetable oil 1 cup ketchup 1/3 cup brown sugar
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Combine remaining ingredients and pour over the meat. Cover the pan with foil and cook for 3 1/2 hours, turning the meat once every hour and checking to be sure the meat is not burning and that the meat is tender. Remove the pan from the grill and allow to cool until warm. Cut the meat across the grain into thin slices and serve with the sauce. You may also shred the beef and serve on buns or French bread slices as pulled barbecue beef brisket sandwiches.
Sweet and Spicy Grilled Chicken Breasts Makes 8 servings
3 pounds boneless and skinless chicken breasts 3 Tbsp. olive oil 1/4 cup chili powder 2 Tbsp. honey 1 cup chili sauce 1/2 cup ketchup 1/4 cup cider vinegar 2 Tbsp. soy sauce 1 Tbsp. hot pepper sauce, such as Tabasco 2 tsp. fresh minced garlic 1 tsp. fresh ground pepper
Trim visible fat from the chicken breasts. Place the chicken in zipper style bag and set aside. Combine remaining ingredients in a medium bowl and whisk well. Pour the mixture over the fish and seal the bag. Turn the bag several times to coat the chicken. Chill the breasts for 30 minutes up to several hours. 30 minutes before serving (for hot chicken – you may also serve this chicken at room temperature), spray the cold grill with nonstick cooking spray and heat to medium-high. When the grill is hot, remove the chicken from the marinade and place the breasts on the hot grill (shake off excess marinade first). Grill until the meat is marked with grill lines and turn the chicken to mark the other side. Turn the meat again so that the grill marks are going the other way (to make square marks on the chicken). Cook until done, a total of about 12-minutes. Serve hot or warm. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 109
Grilled Sea Bass with Ginger Cilantro Sauce Makes 6 servings
Sauce:
1/2 cup fresh chopped cilantro
3 Tbsp. rice wine vinegar
1/2 cup minced scallions, white and green parts, garnish
2 Tbsp. soy sauce
1 Tbsp. sesame seeds, any kind, garnish
1 Tbsp. minced peeled fresh ginger 1 Tbsp. brown sugar 1 tsp. minced garlic Juice of 1 lime Grated peel of 1 orange
Fish: 6 6-ounce sea bass fillets with skin or other mild fish such as salmon 2 Tbsp. olive oil
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Make the sauce: Combine all sauce ingredients together in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat. Bring to a boil and cook for 3 minutes. Reduce heat and keep warm until ready to serve. Heat grill to medium-high. Brush fish with oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper to taste. Place the fish, skin side down on the prepared grill. Grill the fish for about 5-minutes. Carefully place a spatula or turner between the fish and the skin and gently turn the fish over and grill on the other side for 5 minutes. DO NOT OVERCOOK. Place the fish on a large serving platter or 6 individual dinner plates. Stir the cilantro into the sauce and spoon this sauce over the fish. Sprinkle the fish with the scallions and sesame seeds and serve.
Grilled Turkey Burgers with Roasted Red Pepper Sauce Makes 6 burgers
Sauce: 1/4 cup mayonnaise 1 roasted red pepper (jarred or canned is fine) 1 Tbsp. minced onion 1 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice 1 Tbsp. drained capers Salt and pepper to taste
Burgers: 2 pounds lean ground turkey, very cold
Place sauce ingredients in the bowl of a food processor or pitcher of a blender and pulse or blend until smooth. Chill until ready to use (up to 1 week). Heat grill to medium-high. Divide the turkey into 6 portions and form into thin, about 1/2-inch thick, patties. Season the patties lightly with salt and pepper and spray them well with nonstick cooking spray. Chill until ready to cook. Arrange the burgers on the preheated grill and cook about 5-6 minutes on each side. DO NOT OVERCOOK. Serve the burgers in pita pockets with garnishes of choice and with a spoonful of the roasted pepper sauce.
Salt and pepper to taste Nonstick cooking spray 6 pocket pitas, tops inch cut off
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Grilled Eggplant Salad with Roasted Red Peppers and Feta Makes 6-8 servings.
1 medium eggplant (about 1 pound) 1 red bell pepper 3 Tbsp. olive oil Kosher or sea salt to taste Fresh ground black pepper to taste 1 cup Feta cheese, cut into cubes or crumbled 1/4 cup fresh basil leaves Preheat grill to medium-high. Cut the top off the eggplant and cut it into 1/4-inch-thick circles. Cut the bell pepper in half vertically and remove the stems and seeds. Cut the pepper into 4 pieces. Brush the eggplant slices and pepper pieces with a very small amount of olive oil. Grill the eggplant and pepper until lightly charred and cooked through about 10 minutes. Remove from grill and allow to cool until just warm. Arrange the eggplant circles on a serving plate. Chop the roasted pepper and sprinkle it over the eggplant. Sprinkle to taste with salt and pepper. Drizzle the vinegar over all and sprinkle the Feta over all. Arrange the basil leaves around the plate. Serve at room temperature. 112 | MY Magazine
Grilled Pineapple Makes 8 servings.
1 pineapple, peeled and cut into 1/4-inch rings or circles 1/4 cup vegetable oil 1/4 cup sugar, optional Preheat grill to medium-high. Brush the pineapple slices pieces with a very small amount of oil. Grill the pineapple on both sides lightly charred, about 10 minutes. Remove from grill and arrange on a platter, overlapping the rings slightly and allow to cool until just warm. Sprinkle with sugar if desired and serve. Annabel is a foodie. She’s a writer. A cooking instructor. An explorer. She’s a aesthete. She knows how to cook. Until fairly recently, Annabel only cooked for people she knows. Her catering, articles, blogs and ANNABEL COHEN COOKS DETROIT Facebook page have earned not just kudos, but awards as well. She was chosen as a Crain’s Detroit Business Magazine “Most Passionate Cooks” and has been profiled in: The Paper, HOUR Detroit, The Detroit News, The Detroit Free Press, The Big Idea, Oakland Press, Royal Oak Tribune, The Detroit Jewish News, Style Magazine, “LIVE in the D,” among others. She won “Best Caterer” in 2015 in The Detroit
Jewish News, and in 2014 in HOUR Detroit magazine. She was voted “Best Brazilian Food” by Detroit Monthly magazine. Among countless television and radio appearances, Annabel was the deciding judge on the Travel Channel’s “Food Wars” for a Detroit episode pitting rivals Lafayette Coney Island against American Coney Island. Annabel is an author. She co-authored “Eating for Acid Reflux” in 2003 and in 2013 created all the recipes for 2014’s “Fast Diets for Dummies.” As a stylist, Annabel has assisted in countless photo shoots and tested and styled recipes for ads, articles and even a few books she didn’t write. She’s also a cooking instructor and writer/columnist with articles that focus on her favorite things — food, travel and lifestyle. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 113
MY FAVORITE VEGGIE...
ER, FRUIT! by Liz Bull
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any of us tend to think of cucumber as a garnish, a decoration... at best an afterthought on salads and side dishes... or a clever decoration on the buffet. Like its cousin the melon, cucumber is actually a fruit; however, let’s just say it’s an amazing vegetable. Why??? Because cucumber is a nutritional powerhouse! Cucumber is a superfood containing almost all the vitamins you need each day, including B vitamins, vitamin C, fiber, vitamin K1, copper, potassium, and manganese. But wait! There’s more.... Here are 10 ways cucumber can help keep you healthy... read on!
BOOST YOUR ENERGY. Rather than reaching for another cup of coffee, try cucumber. The B vitamins in cucumber provide energy that can last for hours.
BUILD YOUR BONES. Cucumber is high in magnesium, calcium, and vitamin K1 — all essential for bone health. If you are eating a low-meat or low-dairy diet, then be sure to eat cucumber regularly
IS YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE TOO HIGH? High levels of potassium in cucumber help regulate blood pressure by boosting electrolyte levels. This counteracts the effects of sodium overconsumption.
STARTING TO FORGET THINGS? Copper is essential for brain function. In addition, festin has been found to be effective in fighting Alzheimer’s damage. Cucumber is naturally high in copper and contains festin as well. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 115
High fiber in cucumbers keeps you regular and your digestive system working well.
THINKING ABOUT DETOX?
BEAT A HANGOVER. It happens. You drank too much. Now what? To avoid having your night out turn into a nightmare the morning after, eat a cucumber right before bed. Alcohol dehydrates your body. Cucumber contains a mix of B vitamins, sugar and electrolytes that keep you hydrated. Ahhhh. Relief!
DRAGON BREATHE? If you suffer from bad breath, try eating cucumber instead of chewing on breath mints. Phytochemicals in cucumbers kill bacteria that cause bad breath and cavities. For fresh breath, eat a slice after a meal or a coffee.
CONSTIPATED? FEELING BLOATED? Constipation can be the result of stress, medication or eating a highly processed diet. Get relief with cucumber! The high water content and potassium in cucumber make it a mild diuretic that relieves bloating. 116 | MY Magazine
Cucumber has detoxifying properties. Yes! It has a cleansing action within the body by removing accumulated pockets of old waste materials and chemical toxins. Thinking about detox? Eat some cucumbers. Consider eating cucumber daily to keep toxins from building up in the first place.
HELP IN COLD AND FLU SEASON The blend of nutrients in cucumber boost the immune system. Cucumber’s antiinflammatory properties fight inflammation of the nose and throat when you are suffering from a cold.
REDUCED DISEASE RISK Cucumber, it turns out, contains three beneficial lignans (lariciresinol, pinoresinol, and secoisolariciresinol), which have been associated with a reduced risk of cardiovascular disease as well as several different types of cancer, including ovarian, prostate, breast and uterine. Take yourself to the spa! Three more tips...
Refresh your tired-looking skin. Spas use cucumber for good reason! It contains compounds that refresh and rejuvenate the skin from both the outside in and the inside out. Make your own mask at home. Mash up cucumber and a few drops of lemon juice. Apply directly to your face. Ahhh. Do you have puffy eyes? Place fresh cucumber slices directly onto swollen areas to reduce puffiness within just a few minutes. Magic! Get strong, shiny hair. Eating cucumber regularly can reduce hair loss and strengthen hair shafts. The compounds in cucumber also help hair look shiny and healthy. Massage cucumber juice into your hair. Allow it to sit for about five minutes before rinsing away with lukewarm water. Let me know YOUR favorite way to use this amazing superfood. liz@lizbull.com With her innovative signature program she works with her clients to release their limiting beliefs, doubts, and fears, and helps them tap into their natural abilities and their bodies’ wisdom, making weight loss easy and safe. A Medical Intuitive, Master Theta Healer and Certified Virtual Gastric Band Practitioner , Liz has long been fascinated by the important role mind, body, and beliefs play in our lives. Her other studies and certifications include EFT, Psych-K, Matrix Energetics, Access Consciousness, QiGong, NLP and Transcendental Meditation. She has transferred her successful healing/mind-set work with businesswomen to the arena of weight loss because she has experienced first-hand the havoc and misery that obesity creates not only for the sufferer but for their families. www.lizbull.com
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