Miracles of Recovery

I was 60 years old when my food addiction took off. During that year, before coming into FA, I was desperately trying not to eat any flour or sugar products, but it seemed that the more willpower I applied, the more sugar products I ate. After eating what I purchased, I would mentally berate myself for buying and eating them, telling myself, I won’t buy them anymore, but I would always buy them again. It was neverending mental torture. When I came to that first meeting at age 65, I knew for sure that I was powerless over my intake of sugar and flour.

I found a sponsor, and within a few days of weighing and measuring my food, not eating between meals, and avoiding sugar products, the physical cravings and mental obsession had been removed. It was unbelievable. I was not buying sugar or flour products and that negative voice was no longer in my head! This was the first miracle I experienced. My Higher Power did for me what I could not do for myself.

After being in the program for six months, I was invited to my niece’s house for Thanksgiving. At the dinner, I mentioned that I would need to leave the room when the desserts were served, as I did not want to be tempted. When leaving the room, I immediately felt uncomfortable about being away from the table, since it was a family holiday, but I was really afraid of eating the dessert. After praying to my Higher Power and asking for guidance, I heard a voice telling me that this was not my food. Fifteen minutes later, I was able to sit comfortably at the table, a change in behavior and another miracle of the program.

By using the tools of meetings and reading the literature daily, I learned that my disease of food addiction is physical, mental, and spiritual and I am powerless over it. For me, this lesson requires a daily practice of surrendering to my Higher Power by taking a half-hour of quiet time and prayer, although my self-will still wants to take control.

Doing my part, weighing and measuring my food, and working the program has given me a personality change, which is a gift from my Higher Power. Years ago, a fellow reminded me that the reason the tools work is that the tools bring me to the truth, and it is in the truth that I will find my Higher Power.