January/February 2005

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www.FAITHmag.com | www.FAITHteen.com January/February 2005

$2.50

4 stories: life’s transitions from friendship to marriage from full house to empty nest from work to retirement

from Joe to Fr. Joe FAITH’s most popular columnist tells his story

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It’s hard to believe that FAITH is five. It all started not so long ago – the turn of the millennium. The reason? Well, a bishop’s number one job is to evangelize. And, Bishop Carl F. Mengleing wanted to do that in a new and effective way. Fr. Charles Irvin was brought in to create a new type of diocesan magazine – one that would inspire and inform. And Fr. Dwight Ezop has taken over to see it through.

What makes FAITH Magazine and FAITHmag.com so new to Catholic publishing is an editorial approach that emphasizes individual faith stories over Church news. Also, this magazine is sent for free to every Catholic home in the diocese. Parishes and the diocese made a commitment to reach out. People responded in so many ways.

Gene and Michael are two guys who turned their lives around after hitting rock bottom with alcoholism. After FAITH featured them in the November 2000 issue, the Bishop’s Office on Alcohol and Other Drugs got over 30 calls from families looking for the same help.

Another story in that same issue featured Nick and Virginia. They were able to save their marriage after attending a Retrouvaille retreat. A year and a half after that, a woman called FAITH in tears, saying that article saved her marriage. She and her husband went on a Retrouvaille retreat and it was working. Those are two stories from just one issue.

Here are a few letters we’ve received: I have been very proud to see my diocese publish FAITH Magazine ...

FAITH manages to reflect the strengths, diversities and complexities of the Catholic faith while also integrating sound, general principles of healthy living ... – Barbara, a life-long Catholic (FAITH’s) articles were talking to me. ... God’s been reaching me lately – maybe because I’m starting to let him back in my life. Thank you for FAITH. See you in Church tomorrow.

– AK, a Catholic who was away from the Church

To everyone at FAITH Magazine, I really hope you are happy now! I can barely have a dinner conversation with my 15-year-old daughter on the day FAITH arrives because her head is buried in it ... – Mary Lou, a mother of a teenager

... one of the things I have loved (about becoming Catholic) is receiving my copy of FAITH Magazine each month ...

– Sonia, a new Catholic

Now the FAITH format is being published in four other dioceses: Laredo, Las Vegas, Erie and Raleigh (April 2005). FAITH has won over 30 awards from the Catholic Press Association, including first place for general excellence, feature writing, cover design, photography and special issues. Three members of our staff have won prestigious individual excellence awards. As FAITH moves on to the next five years and beyond, we would like to thank all our writers, photographers and contributors and you, our readers, for your prayers and support.

– FAITH Magazine

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where has the time gone? looking back at guiding this five-year-old f r o m

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ive years? Has it really been five years since we began publishing FAITH? I remember when FAITH was just a concept – an idea that needed to be approved by Bishop Mengeling. Then came what seemed to be a never-ending string of meetings and presentations. Getting the go-ahead to do something new and different requires a lot of legwork.

There were the usual questions about the usual issues. Yet with the guidance of Fr. Charlie Irvin, FAITH’s founding editor, and the wholehearted and daring support of Bishop Mengeling, FAITH went to press with its first issue in December 1999, just in time for a new millennium.

Ten issues later, we concluded our first year. Midway through the second year, Fr. Charlie graciously handed the reins to me. The time since has been interesting, without a doubt. It has also been deeply moving to share the many stories of faith that we have been privileged to share with you.

We have tried to remain true to our original mission of teaching in much the same way Jesus did – through stories of faith. Many of those stories have had unexpected twists and unanticipated endings. All of them, I hope, have helped to share a message of comfort, hope, joy, strength, peace, reconciliation and the challenges that come through a relationship with Jesus. In the end, that’s what we have always sought to do – to help our readers to understand that they belong to someone – to Jesus, and the place to nourish and sustain that relationship is in church – our parish communities and the domestic church of home and family.

I don’t have much experience raising a five-year-old. I’m told a child at that age can be a bit rambunctious, deeply curious, and wide-eyed when it comes to sensitivity to God. I hope the same will be able to be said about FAITH at five.

Luckily, I have lots of help in guiding this particular five-year-old into another year.

I am deeply grateful to our staff and contributors for their hard work, dedication, and inspiration that help guide each issue from conception to your mailbox. It’s amazing what can be accomplished by such a talented and faith-filled little band of people.

What does this new year hold? That’s hard to say with any precise detail. It will see FAITH continue to grow, with the addition of two new dioceses – Erie, Pennsylvania and Raleigh, North Carolina. I know it will continue to include powerful stories of God’s goodness. I pray that it contains untold and unanticipated blessings for you and all those you hold dear. And so our journey in FAITH continues.

I don’t have much experience raising a fiveyear-old. I’m told a child at that age can be a bit rambunctious, deeply curious, and wide-eyed when it comes to sensitivity to God. I hope the same will be able to be said about FAITH at five.

Tom Gennara

– Fr. Dwight Ezop is editor of FAITH Magazine and pastor of the Catholic Community of St. Jude.

Liturgical Calendar: Octave of Christmas: The Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God Jan 1 | The Epiphany of the Lord Jan 2 | Most Holy Name of Jesus, Jan 3 | St. Elizabeth Ann S

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f e a t u r e s

o u r s t o r y From friendship to marriage.

Mary and Felipe became friends.

Find out how their friendship moved to marriage.

Plus: “How do I know it’s time to get married?”– six questions to ask yourself before tying the knot.

– Nancy Schertzing

f e a t u r e Empty nest, full lives.

When the Gallaghers’ last child left home, the first thing they did was take the parental controls off the remote. Find out more about the Gallaghers’ empty nest and how to prepare yourself and your collegebound student. Plus: some tips if your empty nest fills up again.

– Marybeth Hicks

c o l u m n s

• Dear Fr. Joe: Are all religions true?

8 In the know with Fr. Joe – Fr. Joseph Krupp

what you’ll get out of this issue

16

• I played Tarzan – and lived. Life’s little, and not-so-little, miracles.

12 From the Bishop – Bishop Carl F. Mengeling • I lost my job; now what? Find out how to handle career changes.

19 Worklife – Tim Ryan

18

• 3 musts for debt management.

• Talk about these 6 things to take back ownership of your marriage.

• How romance changes over the years.

• The 4-T principle – take ten to talk.

22 Your Marriage Matters • Congratulations! It’s a baby! Where’s the instruction manual? – Find out how new parents can get a good start on parenting.

23 The Journey – Dr. Cathleen McGreal

c o v e r s t o r y Get to know Fr. Joe

• Oh no, I gotta go! What to do when you have to make a transition you’re not sure you want.

24 Spiritual Fitness – Fr. Bill Ashbaugh

Fr Joe was a comedy writer for FOX. What made him give it all up and become a priest?

• “Retired yet active.” Find out what that means to Fr. Charlie Irvin.

31 The Last Word – Fr. Charles Irvin

– Nancy Schertzing

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p r o f i l e Who, me? Retire?

Dave Scharf retired from a successful engineering career at Chrysler. Find out how he and his wife, Judy, are busier than ever after retirement.

Plus: questions to ask yourself before saying, “I’m retiring!”

– Bob Horning

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m o v i e s

The cast of Christmas with the Kranks talks with FAITH about the movie and the importance of community during Christmas.

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eth Ann Seton, Religious Jan 4 | St. John Neumann, Bishop Jan 5 | Blessed Andre Bessette, Religious Jan 6 | St. Raymond of Penafort, Priest Jan 7 | Baptism of the Lord Jan 9

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Most Reverend Carl F. Mengeling PUBLISHER

Rev. Charles Irvin FOUNDING EDITOR

l e t t e r s @ f a i t h m a g . c o m

Jan/Feb 2005 • Volume 6 : Issue 1

FAITH Magazine 300 W. Ottawa, Lansing, MI 48933

Rev. Dwight Ezop

James Luning

your thoughts: on the 2004 election and Church teaching

The Magazine of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing

EDITOR IN CHIEF

Elizabeth Martin Solsburg ASSISTANT EDITOR/STAFF WRITER

Jillane Job SUBSCRIPTIONS/SECRETARY

Evelyn Weitzel SUBSCRIPTIONS

Patrick Dally GRAPHIC/WEB DESIGNER

Rev. William Ashbaugh Bob Horning Marybeth Hicks Elizabeth Johnson Rev. Joseph Krupp Cathleen McGreal Alton Pelowski Tim Ryan Nancy Schertzing CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Margaret Perrone PROOFREADING

Tom Gennara (cover) Christine Jones James Luning CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS

Wayne Case Vicki Bedard Patricia Garcia Diane Nowak Margaret Perrone James Rhadigan Ricardo Rodriguez David Rosenberg Rev. James Swiat Peter Wagner Sharon Wimple

Dear Editor: You’ve managed to gray the distinction between those things that are grave and intrinsic evils with that which is prudential judgment.

Example: You cite the life issue and lump capital punishment in with abortion and euthanasia. It is morally acceptable for a good sound Catholic to believe capital punishment is a fair and just consequence against a criminal act. Under no circumstances is abortion ever right ...

Furthermore, issues like education, health care, economic and fiscal policies don’t even come close to the weight [of abortion] ... It would have been better not to publish this article [MCC Voting CNS

Patrick M. O’Brien MANAGING EDITOR/CREATIVE DIRECTOR

Guidelines] ... Also, you might think about consulting the Catechism of the Catholic Church if you are unclear about Catholic teaching.

– Leo P. Dion To the Editor: ... The publication of ... “5 questions,” which asked in the pro-life section on how does the candidate stand on capital punishment is absurd. ...

In the catechism, it identifies abortion as a moral evil. ... In the discussions on the death penalty it states there are occasions when the death penalty can be used. ... “the traditional teaching of the Church has acknowledged ... the right ... of legitimate public authority to punish

in the beginning

by Chris Sushynski

ADVISORY BOARD

Rose Robertson FAITHhelpsTM

Tim Ryan FAITH Publishing ServiceTM

InnerWorkings PRINT MANAGEMENT

Give the gift of FAITH: subscriptions (517) 342-2595 Diocese of Lansing Main Line: (517) 342-2440

© Chris Sushynski

FAITHTM (USPS 019993) is a membership publication of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing, 300 W. Ottawa, Lansing, MI 48933. Published monthly except February and August. Subscription rates are $15 per year. Individual issues are $2.50. Send all subscription information and address changes to 300 W. Ottawa, Lansing, MI 48933; (517) 342-2595; fax (517) 342-2537 or e-mail j job@dioceseoflansing.org. Periodicals Postage Paid at Lansing, MI or additional offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: FAITHTM, 300 W. Ottawa, Lansing, MI 48933. ©Catholic Diocese of Lansing. FAITH is a trademark of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing.

“Do not be afraid, for I will make you fishers of men.”

malefactors ... not excluding, in cases of extreme gravity, the death penalty.” What don’t you people get about the difference between a moral evil and the right and duty of legitimate authority?

I have cancelled my subscription and I am seriously considering moving to Missouri where an archbishop is not afraid to preach it like it ought to be preached. I also have cancelled my last two contributions to the Diocesan Services Appeal. ...

If you do not agree with me, fine go pray about it, but don’t argue with me about what the Church teaches because you have a theology degree. ... This poor excuse for a Catholic magazine does little to help educate, just look nice and not offend anyone ... Either preach the truth in love or please get out of what I believe is the Roman Catholic Church.

– Terry Dishneau Editor’s Note: “... the traditional teaching of the Church does not exclude recourse to the death penalty, if this is the only possible way of effectively defending human lives against the unjust aggressor. If, however, non-lethal means are sufficient to defend and protect people’s safety from the aggressor, authority will limit itself to such means ...

Today, in fact, as a consequence of the possibilities which the state has for effectively preventing crime, by rendering one who has committed an offense incapable of doing harm – without definitively taking away from him the possibility of redeeming himself – the cases in which the execution of the offender is an absolute necessity are very rare, if not practically non-existent.”

(CCC 2267)

St. Hilary, Bishop and Doctor of the Church Jan 13 | St. Anthony, Abbot Jan 17 | St. Fabian, Pope and Martyr Jan 20 | St. Sebastian, Martyr Jan 20 | St. Agnes, Virgin and Martyr Jan 21 | S

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onvacationwithmystalker St. Jerome two-year-olds that a former soldier seem to find me at Mass turned priest o n l i n e

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t’s vacation time. Our trek across the fruited plain includes a Saturday night stop in the heartland, where we awaken to hunt down an eight o’clock Mass and a diner for breakfast.

PhotoDisc

We don’t know the way from the hotel to the nearest Catholic church, and when we find it, Mass has started and we’re late.

They’re on the first reading.

We stand in the back and wait to slip, unnoticed, into a pew.

Of course, this is physically impossible.

My stalker squeals “wummer ducky.”

There are six of us wearing travel clothes. Our sheepish faces say, “You don’t know us but we’re The Late Family. We don’t really belong here. You’ll never see us again so please forgive the disturbance.”

We slide into an empty pew as the congregation sings the responsorial psalm. As the second reading begins, we focus our attention on the woman at the lectionary, but also on the ornate ceilings and beautiful frescoes painted high above our heads.

And then, my Stalker strikes. That’s right, Stalker. I’m being stalked by a small child who distracts my every Heavenly thought by talking, screaming, crying and fussing through virtually any religious service I attend.

And here I am on vacation, just passing through Ohio. And she’s standing on the kneeler behind me, squealing “Wummer duckie!

Wummer duckie!” over and over and over again. Her Cheerios litter the floor and bounce under my pew. When I stand up, I will crush them and later, track them up the center aisle. She’s good, and she knows it.

I’m fuming. And then I hear God’s call. Actually, it was my mother, on my cell phone, which I never would have dreamed I left on. Yes, it was God. Disguised as my mother on a cell phone. Calling to remind me that the fussy baby was once mine. Calling to flash a mental image of my own kids crying in the church, before they could respond to the words, “stop crying.” Calling to reminisce about longing to stay in the sanctuary and not pace the vestibule, where the acoustics are bad and the air is cold. Calling to say, “Hey you! Mrs. Late Family! Lighten up!

Those people are showered and dressed and they got here before you did! And you should know how hard that was to accomplish.”

Find out how Marybeth Hicks survives her “stalker,” along with other exclusive essays, features and news briefs only on FAITHmag.com

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St. Jerome Emiliani born: 1481 in Venice died: Feb. 8, 1537 at Somascha, Italy Feast Day: Feb. 8 Claim to fame: St. Jerome Emiliani is best known for his work caring for orphaned and abandoned children. A former soldier turned priest, St. Jerome ministered in 16th-century Venice during a time when war, famine, and plague had left hundreds of children with no one to take care of them. Jerome had run away from home when he was a teenager, so he knew what it was like to be alone.

Little-known fact: As part of his work teaching orphans about the faith, St. Jerome Emiliani developed the first catechism that used a questionand-answer technique to teach religious doctrine (a technique familiar to many Catholics who grew up with the Baltimore Catechism).

What made him a saint: St. Jerome gave his whole life, including his own material resources, to help others. At first, he housed orphans in his own home, then went on to build six orphanages, a hospital, and even a home for former prostitutes. During the plague, he went through the streets at night, finding and burying those who had died unattended.

He founded a religious order to continue his work—the Clerks Regular of Somascha, also known as the Company of Servants of the Poor. Like their founder, their main ministry has always been caring for orphans and teaching young people.

Scariest Moment: While serving as a soldier and military commander, Jerome was captured and chained in a dungeon. There, he had plenty of time to think—and to pray. He turned his life over to God and to Mary. After he was freed, he hung his chains on a church wall as a reminder of how God had freed him from the physical and spiritual chains that had bound him.

Best quote: “If you remain constant in faith in the face of trial, the Lord will give you peace and rest for a time in this world, and forever in the next.”

How Did He Die: St. Jerome Emiliani died at age 56 of a disease he caught while tending to the sick.

Prayer: St. Jerome Emiliani, watch over all children who are abandoned or unloved. Help us to show them God’s love through our care. Help us to loose the chains that keep us from living the life God intended for us. Amen. – Elizabeth Johnson

an 21 | St. Vincent, Deacon and Martyr Jan 22 | St. Francis de Sales, Bishop and Doctor of the Church Jan 24 | The Conversion of Paul, Apostle Jan 25 | Sts. Timothy and Titus, Bishops Jan 26

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Dear Fr. Joe: There are a lot of different religions in the world and a lot of people think theirs is the only true one. Other people think we’re all right. I’m confused – what’s the real answer?

O

K, here’s the real deal. One of the things about the American culture that is beautiful is our intense desire to be accepting people. When we are accepting, we can be acting in a very Christ-like manner. However, sometimes in our efforts to be open-minded, we accept too much. Or, as one of my seminary classmates put it, “You can be so open-minded that your brain falls out.”

Jesus came as a divine person who was many things – the Son of God, our hope, our savior and more.

But Jesus also came as the truth. Read section 2466 of the Catechism for more information.

Some people will tell you the truth is subjective. They say, “You have your truth

and I have mine.” That, my brothers and sisters, is just plain wrong. There is only one truth and we can participate in it fully or partially.

There always are and always will be things that are more truthful than others and this includes our relationship with God. What if I were to say your car was red while you were to say it was maize and blue?

Now, as beautiful as those two colors are when put together on, say, a Rose Bowl pennant, it’s not like your car would appear maize and blue to me and red to you, right?

We know there is truth out there and it is not a matter of opinion, so we have an obligation to find out what it is.

Tom Gennara

Fr. Joe: are all religions ‘right’ and is the host really Jesus’ flesh?

Dear Fr. Joe: Do we really believe as Catholics that the host becomes Jesus’ flesh?

And the wine becomes his blood? Isn’t it just a symbol?

A man bought a parrot who had a really foul mouth on him. After weeks of trying to get the bird to stop swearing, the guy finally popped it in the freezer for a few minutes, hoping it would get too cold to talk. The bird squawked and shrieked, and then was suddenly silent. The man quickly opened the door, afraid he’d gone too far, and the bird flew out into his arms and exclaimed, “Dear sir, I fear I have offended you with the excessive vulgarity of my language. I vow it will cease immediately. And – if I might be so bold to inquire – what did the chicken do?

Well, to quote a great theologian, “The Eucharist. It’s a trip!” OK, maybe nobody said that before me, but it is true. What we believe is

wild and we are unapologetic about it, because love is a radical thing and that is what we are dealing with

there. Jesus’ radical love and his desire to be part of us.

The primary passage for our belief about the

St. Angela Merici, Virgin Jan 27 | St. Thomas Aquinas, Priest and Doctor of the Church Jan 28 | St. John Bosco, Priest Jan 31 | The Presentation of the Lord Feb 2 | St. Blaise, Bishop an

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70%

of Americans believe in hell –Gallup 08/24/04

what year was Joan of Arc born? h i s t o r y

q u i z

Before there was “Joan of Arcadia,” there was Joan of Arc. The Maid of Orleans was born in France on Jan. 6, WHAT YEAR?

do you believe miracles still happen?

CNS/Crosiers

Radio and television advertising of cigarettes went “up in smoke” on Jan. 2, WHAT YEAR? Broadcast advertising of tobacco products was banned by legislation of the U.S. Congress.

p o l l

We asked members of St. Mary on the Lake Parish, Manitou Beach: Do you believe miracles still happen today? If you do, can you tell us about one that had meaning in your life?

St. Augustine, Florida, the oldest permanent European settlement in what later became the United States, was established by Spanish explorer Pedro Menendez de Aviles on February 13, WHAT YEAR? John Henry Newman, noted religious thinker and English clergyman who converted to Catholicism and was eventually named a cardinal, was born on February 21, WHAT YEAR? Newman created a greater understanding of the Catholic Church and its teachings through his writings. Newman Centers, Catholic communities at colleges and universities, are named for him.

Bev Pouliot: Yes. God was with me when I nearly wrecked the truck and camper on black ice last winter.

Denise Sibrt: Yes. I had a daughter at age 41 after 16 years of marriage.

Walter Schweickert: Yes. I believe they are all around me in other people’s lives.

Answers: 1412, 1972, 1565, 1801

Eucharist is John 6. In this chapter, when Jesus spoke about eating his flesh and drinking his blood, his listeners thought it was “over the top” and walked away. Jesus’ followers dwindled from a couple thousand to twelve – in one day!

But we do believe that this is Jesus’ flesh and blood. We consume him to become more like him and for him to enter more deeply into us. In the Eucharist, St. Augustine encouraged us to “receive who we are and become who we receive.” We believe that in the Eucharist, Jesus enters into our bodies and becomes a part of who we are. Jesus is in our blood, our heart and our muscle. He is our breath, our words, our love and our life.

What a gift! The Eucharist is why I became a priest.

For more information about Jesus’ real presence in the Eucharist, see page 26 for our first installment about issues and interests in this Year of the Eucharist.

Dear Fr. Joe: When I go to confession, how should I examine my conscience?

Well, there are a few options here. First – and my personal favorite – I look at where my life is headed and how I came to be headed that way. Think of a pyramid – you are starting at the bottom with your “general sins,” then moving up toward the top with your “specific sins.”

Another way to do it is to look at the Ten Commandments and/or the beatitudes and see how you stack up. There are many ways to examine your conscience, but the goal is always the same – we need to look at our lives and see where we need mercy. And the great thing is – God is always there

to give it to us!

Enjoy another day in God’s presence.

– Fr. Joseph Krupp

Send your questions to: “In the Know with Fr. Joe” FAITH Magazine 300 W. Ottawa Lansing, MI 48933 Or: JoeInBlack@priest.com

Online Discussion Forums: This month’s topics on FAITHmag.com • Have you thought about what you’ll do after retirement?

• What do you do to fight the winter “blahs?”

• What will you be giving up for Lent this year?

Visit FAITHmag.com, then click FAITH forums to discuss these and other interesting topics with Fr. Jeffrey Njus.

Bishop and Martyr Feb 3 | St. Ansgar, Bishop Feb 3 | St. Agatha, Virgin and Martyr Feb 5 | St. Jerome Emiliani, Priest Feb 7 | St. Josephine Bakhita, Virgin Feb 7 | Ash Wednesday Feb 9

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who are you called to be? your vocation is a gift from God to us all part 1 of an 8-part series on vocations Celebrating in 2005:

Call of the baptized Jan. 9

•

Consecrated Life Feb. 6

•

Ordained Priesthood April 17

•

Permanent Diaconate Ap

what does God want me to do with my life? we all must discern God’s will

E

Tom Gennara

CNS

veryone discerns since life requires us to make choices daily. The verb to discern comes from the Latin verb discernere which means to separate, to distinguish accurately one object or one option from another.

When we are speaking about a “call from God,” or a “vocation,” there is also the need to To know yourself, pray to know God. discriminate – is this “call” truly from God? And what is God asking of me?

There are at least three presuppositions in the case of spiritual discernment: 1 a desire to do God’s will, 2 openness to God 3 a knowledge of God. In Weeds Among the Wheat, Thomas Green, S.J. uses a simple example to illustrate this knowledge and will of God. He recalls going with his mother to buy neckties for his father for Father’s Day. As she surveyed a whole table covered with neckties for sale, she quickly selected four or five that he would like. Then she inspected these more closely and chose the two that would please him most. It was evident she knew what he really liked.

How? Only because she had shared life and love with him for 40 years. Fr. Green admits “as a son, a missionary for years in another land, I ‘knew’ my dad – facts about him, but I did not ‘know’ him as Mother knows him.”

Spiritual discernment begins and ends in the faith conviction of the reality of God who created us and is revealed by Jesus to be our loving parent. Discernment also presumes one is striving to know God as lovers know each other, because that is how our God knows us. God wills our good. Familiarity with God over a period of time gives us a sense of what God wants for us and would like as a free gift from us. – Fr. Matt Fedewa

Fr. Matt Fedewa stands before the baptismal font in St. Mary Cathedral.

Fr. Matt Fedewa is leading a special effort this year in our diocese to help you discover who God is calling you to be. Each month FAITH will celebrate one of eight different vocations. Which is yours? It all starts with your baptism.

W

hen I was a pastor, my parish used a bulletin insert service that sent us great material every week. One day, however, I opened the box and found fliers that read, Do Not Volunteer in your Parish!

“Hey,” I thought, “this is ridiculous. We need volun-

teers.” I told my secretary not to use them, but then I took a closer look. The message wasn’t giving parishioners permission to sit back and do nothing, trusting that the ordained clergy would take care of everything. The analogy was this – does a mother wake up in the morning and make a decision whether she’ll volunteer to be a mom that day? Of course not – being a mother is who she is, not simply something she does.

In the same way, being active members of our parishes – participating, giving and doing God’s work – defines who we are by virtue of our baptism. We don’t “volunteer” in a parish any more than we volunteer to

be members of our families.

We are all committed, by our baptism and confirmation, to continued formation in our Catholic identity and

to live out that commitment in mission. As St. Thomas Aquinas said, “Our actions flow from who we are.”

We live in a time when

St. Scholastica, Virgin Feb 10 | Our Lady of Lourdes Feb 11 | St. Cyril, Monk Feb 14 | St. Methodius, Bishop Feb 14 | The Seven Founders of the Order of S

ate April 24

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Marriage and Family Life May 22

•

Dedicated Single Life July 10

bible quiz match the prophets l

1) Isaiah

CNS

2) Elijah

A A shepherd from Tekoa in Judah, called to preach in the Northern Kingdom, he was the prophet of social justice.

B The major prophet who was told by the Lord to remain unmarried.

3) Jeremiah

C The prophet who had an unfaithful wife and used that fact in his preaching, comparing this relationship with that of God and Israel.

4) Amos

D The earliest and greatest of all the prophets, he wrote about the suffering servant before, during and after the exile.

5) Hosea

E Known as the father of prophecy, his main mission was to call the Israelites back to the true worship of God.

od.

Win Pope John Paul II’s newest book: Send in your answers by Jan. 31, 2005: Bible Quiz, FAITH Magazine, 300 W. Ottawa, Lansing, Mich. 49330 or e-mail esolsburg@dioceseoflansing.org

activities, our stewardship, our care for the poor and needy among us.

Each one of us is called to holiness; from that call grows our mission. If we desire holiness – and wholeness – we must integrate who we are with what we do.

No ministry can be effective unless it is truly motivated by the Holy Spirit, unless we are committed in love to our relationship with God. It is in our dialogue with him that we hear the still, small voice of love drawing us closer to him and to our purpose as his beloved.

– Fr. Matt Fedewa as told to Elizabeth Solsburg

Ecclesial Lay Ministry Oct. 9

•

Missionaries Oct. 23

theology focus what is the call of the baptized?

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The Second Vatican Council devoted much time, space, and care to discussing the role of the laity within the Church. The Council recognized the indelible mark left on all persons’ souls by virtue of their baptism, and wrote extensively to encourage and exhort the laity.

Although there are essential differences between the common priesthood of the faithful and the hierarchical priesthood, each shares in the one priesthood of Christ. (Lumen Gentium 10) Through baptism, we are called to worship and to profess before the whole world the faith we have received. In confirmation, we are more perfectly bound to the Church and endowed with special strength of the Holy Spirit. We are, as Christians, obliged to spread the faith by word and deed.

The faithful, by virtue of their royal priesthood, participate in the offering of the Eucharist. “Taking part in the eucharistic sacrifice, the source and summit of the Christian life, [the faithful] offer the divine victim to God, and themselves along with it. And so it is that, both in the offering and in holy Communion, each in his own way, though not of course indiscriminately, has his own part to play in the liturgical action.”

(Lumen Gentium 11)

Tom Gennara

many people seem to want Christ, but not the Church.

They don’t seem to realize that the Church is the body of Christ, inseparable from him. Therefore, we are called to be his hands, feet, ears and eyes in the world. Our mission is three-fold: we are called to worship, witness and service. This echoes the three-part anointing of our baptism as priest, prophet and servant. In worship, we join our daily labors and sufferings to the sacrifice of the Eucharist. We witness to the faith in our everyday endeavors in our workplace and family. We serve our brothers and sisters in the Lord through our participation in ministerial

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CNS

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The Council reminded all of us that we are called to the “perfection of sanctity by which the Father himself is perfect.” (Lumen Gentium 11) God calls us to that perfection – that life of holiness and wholeness – regardless of our state in life. He opens the dialogue in love, and it is up to us to respond.

– Elizabeth Solsburg has a masters degree in religious education and is assistant editor of FAITH Magazine.

Order of Servites, Religious Feb 17 | St. Peter Damian, Bishop and Doctor Feb 21 | The Chair of Peter, Apostle Feb 22 | St. Polycarp, Bishop and Martyr Feb 23

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I played Tarzan – and lived life’s little and not-so-little miracles t h e

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Bob Patten

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n August 1985, my parish sponsored an altar boy outing to the high dunes along Lake Michigan. Some dads, my associates and I, plus about 75 servers went on this dunes safari. I had regaled the servers about the thrill of swinging on wild grape vines like Tarzan.

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J. Luning

So after lunch some dads and I led about 30 servers to a unions gathered thousands for their picnic and patriotic rallies. I high, steep dune covered with large oaks that dripped with recall the boredom of speeches by senators, mayors and union bigthick vines. There was a large tree about 50 feet down the wigs. Of course everyone’s favorite was the spectacular fireworks slope with a large vine firmly anchored up in the tree. I cut display. We were dazzled and awestruck by the wondrous succesit at the bottom. The vine was taken to the top and the sion of “miracles” in the sky. Such were the miracles of youth. servers began to swing out on it. The apogee was about 25 The miracles of Jesus and other biblical miracles are entirely feet above the ground. Of course everyone insisted I do it another matter. Simply stated, these miracles are signs that too. With everyone watching, I swung out as far as I could. convey meaning about our salvation and our future. These My last awareness was of a snap. I fell those 25 feet, the miracles are not just shows of divine power and wondrous equivalent of two stories, and lost consciousness. Later, I happenings. They are authenticating signs of the power of God learned that it took a while to contact the paramedics who to heal and save us. They conform to and demonstrate Jesus’ then had to come through the wilderness from Good News. From the opening miracles of the People often say, Incarnation and Virgin Birth to the closing miracle the nearest road. One of our priests hurried to “it’s a miracle.” the bishop, who was at the summer camp. He of the Resurrection – all of these define Jesus. administered the anointing of the sick. I awoke in Others say, The Good News proclaimed by Jesus is expressed “awsome.” the hospital that night with three broken ribs, in a remarkable chain of miracles. Let’s recall a few Is there a differ- that link message with miracle: lots of bruises and some internal bleeding.

The “miracle” is that I wasn’t killed. I could have ence? It’s only a • Deliverance from sin: the paralyzed man. fallen on a log or large rock. It took several months way of speaking.

• Power over Satan and evil: the woman bent of care by my sister Carolyn and her family before I The miracles of over for 18 years.

Jesus are entirely resumed my pastorate.

• Barrenness of non-belief: What you and I choose to call “miracle” is entirely another matter. the withered fig tree. a personal matter. Nobody has to agree with us.

• Blessings on disciples: People dazzled and bowled over by the extraordinary, the catch of fish. unexpected and the mysterious often say, “A miracle!” Today’s • Dispelling the darkness of evil: the youth say, “Awesome!” Is there a difference? Many FAITH man born blind. readers love to say, “FAITH magazine is a miracle” – five years • Nature made sacrament: Cana’s of FAITH is “a miracle” and fifty issues of FAITH is “a mirawine, water of Bethsaida, cle.” Others say FAITH is “awesome.” What’s the difference? multiplication of loaves.

It’s only a way of speaking.

My notions about miracles have gone through lots of sorting The Gospel writers call them out, as the British say. There were plenty of miracles for us grow- “mighty deeds.” They are the saving triumph over the powers ing up in the ’30s and ’40s. Here are some “miracles” that awakof evil. Miracles are a divine ened wonder in this young boy. invitation. They respond to Several times a year Dad treated the family with a drive to our search for meaning and the Chicago Municipal Airport in Cicero. It’s now called Midway. All along the high fence there were people sitting in happiness. Miracles cannot be eliminated from the Gospel, or the grass anxiously watching for planes. What excitement diminished, without touching when a plane was spotted. I can recall holding on to the on the Good News itself. fence, my eyes riveted in amazement. We were spellbound.

Yes, it was a miracle to us.

Another “miracle” was Fourth of July. The biggest celebration – Most Rev. Carl F. Mengeling is the fourth was at Wicker Park, a half-mile from home. The CIO and AFL bishop of Lansing

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get to know

Fr. Joe January/February 2005

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FAITH Magazine

By Nancy Schertzing | Photography by Tom Gennara

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ou’ve seen his face. It’s in every FAITH magazine. And you’ve read his answers to a variety of faith-related questions. Now FAITH turns the tables and asks Fr. Joe to tell us about himself. Come get into the mind of this charismatic, 34year-old chaplain at Lansing Catholic Central High School.

I am a HUGE Lions fan who has only been to two games in my whole life. Before, it was because I couldn’t afford it, now it’s because I work on Sunday. I drink obscene amounts of coffee and Jones [soda] and go for Double Stuff Oreos on a fairly regular basis. I read at least three books a week, ranging from brain candy to deep spiritual reading. I love NASCAR, and I think my mom and dad are the two best people in the world. I would be lost without them and my brothers and sisters.

priesthood would not be a life-giving experience. I was so focused on what I was giving up, I didn’t ponder what I was embracing. God forgive my arrogance! But by the end of the first year, God had my heart. On June 13, 1998, I was ordained a priest. That was the greatest day of my life.

The first and best thing about being Lansing Catholic Central High School chaplain is I have fewer meetings than a parish priest! Also, the 530 If I could sit down with 20-year-old Joe Krupp and people I minister with are within walking distance from talk with him, I think he would be shocked at how 7:00 in the morning until 4:00 in the afternoon. At my much I love being a priest. If you had told me before I parish assignments there were thousands of families, but was ordained that I would be this happy, I don’t I only saw them when they came in to see me, think I would have believed you. I remember or at different functions. My evening obligaI love how high writing ‘April 10, 1980’ under my name in the school students tions were generally meetings. At the school, I Bible at home, and knowing on that day I felt go to the students’ games, pray with them have a strong called to be a priest. [But] as I continued with sense of indebted- beforehand and root for them during. my life, sometimes I lost my way, struggling with ness. If an experiwhat all this meant and what to do with it. ence of faith trans- I think the most difficult difference is I formed their lives, [sometimes] do things I have little or no When I was in high school a small group they feel a debt to experience with. I am just as likely to handle of us formed a pep band and tried to get share it with others. a child questioning his or her faith as I am to our mascot changed to Gumby. It didn’t work with a child who has serious psychologiwork. I have worked construction, on farms, mowed lawns cal problems. In both cases, I am expected to be an and as security at MIS (Michigan International Speedway) expert who can help. I don’t have an older priest to guide ... Oh, and one night I posed as a Secret Service agent at me through. In the end, that may be the biggest differa University of Michigan event for the emissary from ence of all, and the most challenging.

Japan. My proudest personal achievement is my nine years in a traveling evangelization team for Catholic youth. I just love the students; they are exceptionally easy to love. They have opened their world to me and In 1992, I joined a group of scriptwriters to create allow me to bring Jesus into their lives and experiences. I a stage show or pilot. I worked on that for nine months love how high school students have a strong sense of and it culminated in FOX buying the script. It was a lot of indebtedness. If an experience of faith transformed their fun and I got to be an actual scriptwriter for a while. In lives, they feel a debt to share it with others. You can the end I quit because the creativity was sacrificed for almost taste their hunger to give! vulgar humor. I’ve never been a prude or anything. It was just too much.

It’s hard to explain this life to anyone who isn’t in it, but this is a good life. I make a decision each day About three months after I quit, I ended up enterto say ‘yes’ to the priesthood. In my mind it all flows from ing Sacred Heart Major Seminary. At the beginning being able to hold Jesus in our hands and give him to the we were told sometimes God calls a person to enter the world in the Mass. As we do that, we grow in our ability seminary but not to be a priest. Man oh man, would I to hold Jesus in our hands and give him to the world outpray that was the case for me! It’s crazy, but I thought side of Mass. And there is nothing greater than that!” ministry focus: Fr. Joe’s vocation story is one of a series of priest stories that will be published by the Diocese of Lansing Seminarian Office. To order your copy of the booklet and to find out more about becoming a priest in the Diocese of Lansing, contact Fr. Jerry Vincke, Director of Seminarians: (517) 342-2507 www.lansingpriesthood.org.

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from friendship Mary and Felipe’

Mary and Felipe were friends for six years before they married.

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resh out of college and ready to begin her adult life, Mary Schliska attended a To Encounter Christ (TEC) retreat at her mother’s urging – “You never know what God has planned,” she said. Mother knows best – at the retreat, Mary met Felipe Villarreal and immediately thought he’d make a good husband.

Felipe remembers instantly liking Mary. There was only one problem – Felipe was dating someone else, and was at the retreat with her. So instead of romance, Mary and Felipe fell into an easy friendship that would span the next six years.

Still, they had more opporturoommate decided to drive nities to see each other, and into Lansing on Sundays to their friendship deepened. attend Mass at Cristo Rey. Cristo Rey became vitally Since she knew it was Felipe’s important in the parish, Mary lives of Felipe and thought she would “Lots of people Mary. “I’ve always feel welcome. She moan and groan was right. This they have to give gotten a spiritual dynamic, Spanish- up an hour to go high from the music at noon speaking parish to Mass,” he Mass,” Mary says. embraced the laughs. “If we “I play it over and young women, didn’t have at and Mary and her least that hour, over again in my roommate quickly our whole week head.” Felipe became active in agrees, “It’s like would be shot!” the youth probeing renewed or gram. Felipe helped with the recharged from everyday life. youth program when someLots of people moan and thing needed building or fixgroan they have to give up an ing, but stayed behind the hour to go to Mass,” he scenes as much as possible. laughs. “If we didn’t have at FAITH Magazine

By Nancy Schertzing |

During those years, Mary embarked on a career teaching math and Spanish at Howell High School. Felipe pursued automotive electronics – most recently building police vehicles at Cruisers in Brighton.

She lived in her hometown of Morrice. He lived 45 minutes away in Lansing. She and her roommate socialized together.

He went through a series of romantic relationships that left him hurting and insecure about love. They met once a year at retreats, serving as facilitators and volunteer staff, always picking up their friendship where they had left it the previous year.

Eventually, Mary and her January/February 2005

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least that hour, our whole week would be shot!”

As her attachment to Cristo Rey evolved, Mary, who always sat in the back of church, began trying seats closer to the front. Week by week she moved up until she settled in the second row – just behind Felipe. One day Felipe’s aunt told his mother she knew just the girl for her son. It was the nice young woman who sat behind him during noon Mass. Felipe’s mother, who had been praying to the Virgin of Guadalupe that her son might find a good wife, smiled broadly. She continued her prayers.

At St. Mary Parish in Morrice, Mary’s mother was offering her familiar prayer to the Virgin Mother as well.

“Please, Blessed Mother, help Mary find a good husband.”

In 2003, Mary and Felipe took the unusual step of volunteering for two separate retreats back-to-back. At the second retreat, after finishing their work in the kitchen and spending an evening dancing, Mary felt compelled to speak up. In a bold move, she told Felipe she would like to “be more than friends.” He smiled quietly and responded simply, “We’ll see.” Mary was shaken.

He, who had been deeply wounded in love relationships, was afraid to take another chance. She, who had known from their first meeting that he would be a great husband, hoped to try again.

During the retreats they went sledding and had a wonderful time. Mary mentioned she’d like to get together again outside of a retreat experience.

Photography by James Luning

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hip to marriage pe’s journey Felipe casually told her maybe they could go sledding again if she had a day off. The next week a major snowstorm blanketed the area, causing snow days for all area schools. Mary called Felipe, and they met at the sledding hill. By the end of that sledding date, they shared their first kiss and the knowledge they would spend the rest of their lives together.

One month later, they were looking for wedding rings. At a jewelry store, Mary spotted the ring she wanted. The chatty sales clerk told them she had almost sold the ring to the couple who had just left, but it was one piece and the bride-to-be had wanted a two-ring set.

Disappointed to find it was one piece, Mary asked if she could see the ring anyway. The clerk handed it to her, and as Mary held it in her hand, the pieces fell apart to reveal the two-ring engagement set she had always wanted. The clerk watched, speechless, as Felipe and Mary later walked out of the store with their wedding set.

They waited five months until Father’s Day, however, to make it official. After dinner with their parents at their favorite Mexican restaurant, Mary’s father asked Felipe if he had something he wanted to say. Felipe responded that he would like to ask Mr. Schliska for his daughter’s hand in marriage. “Felipe,” Mr. Schliska

responded, “I love you like a son. But I’m not the person you need to ask.” Getting down on one knee, Felipe turned to Mary and through tears he said, ”Mary, I’ve never had anyone like you in my life.

I love you with all my heart, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” Her resounding “yes!” was nearly drowned out by the cheers and clapping of the people in the restaurant.

The following May, Felipe and Mary experienced that same joyful support when they exchanged vows at Cristo Rey. Packing the church for their wedding ceremony, the Cristo Rey community, friends and family exuberantly celebrated the love Felipe and Mary share. And, as with their engagement, the Villarreal and Schliska families shared fully in the festivities. For months they made tamales and gloumkies, beans and rice, meatballs and chicken – filling four freezers so they could host the 300 guests Felipe and Mary had invited. Though at times they feared the fire marshal might have to shut down their wedding reception due to overcrowding, Felipe and Mary celebrated their big day from beginning to end.

Of their many wonderful memories from that day, Mary and Felipe agree one of their sweetest was laying roses

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For more information about marriage in the Catholic Church and specific requirements for a Catholic wedding, contact your local parish at least nine months before your wedding date. To learn more about the process of marriage preparation, contact the Office of Family Ministry, (517)342-2471. www.FAITHmag.com

How do I know it’s time to get married?

You’ve been dating for a while and it feels like true love. You can’t think of anyone but him; you call her all the time. And now you’re thinking of getting married. Before you decide that it’s the right time, consider the following: Is your prospective partner your best friend?

When the romance is at an ebb, your friendship will be what sees you through.

Have you talked about how you spend or save money? This is a major argument point for married couples.

Do you agree on childrearing ideals? Have you discussed how you were raised, and if that’s the model you want for your new family?

Do you have a shared vision of what marriage means? Have you talked about what being someone’s life partner is like?

Can you imagine spending every day of your life waking up next to this person, listening to his problems, being patient with her mood swings?

Most importantly, is God in your relationship? How important is your faith? Your partner’s? More than anything else, this will strengthen the bond of love you now feel for each other. before the portrait of the Virgin of Guadalupe. For years, Mrs. Schliska and Mrs. Villarreal had each prayed to the Virgin Mary, seeking a good spouse for her child. Now as each watched her child lay roses before the statue of the Blessed Mother, these earthly mothers knew their prayers had been answered in full.

If Mary has found a flaw in her new husband, it would be that he never worries about anything. “His faith is so strong,” she marvels with a hint of exasperation, “he just doesn’t get upset about anything!” Felipe smiles a gentle smile of confirmation. “I worry about you,” he protests mildly.

But for those whose lives have been touched by the divine, worry plays a minor role.

As they look ahead to married life together, Mary and Felipe Villarreal know God’s hand will continue to move in their life through their love for each other. They hope to have children one day – either their own, or foster children as Mary’s parents did. They might do missionary work in South America or simply travel the world for fun. The only thing they know for sure is that faith and love and a touch of the divine will be as central to their married life as it was before that first retreat To Encounter Christ.

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empty nest, full lives find out about the Galla

Mary Jo and Tom Gallagher at their now-empty kitchen table.

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ne of the first things Mary Jo Gallagher did when her last child left for college was take the parental controls off her television. “It just feels good to know we can watch whatever we want,” she says with a sly smile.

It’s a symbolic gesture, a minor rite of passage for a couple that hasn’t lived alone since 1983.

Sitting at their expansive kitchen table, Mary Jo and Tom Gallagher contemplate the new freedom they’ll enjoy as “empty nesters.” Quiet meals together. Early Mass on Sundays.

Gardening, traveling, renovating their kitchen. Mary Jo’s master’s degree. Simple pleasures and big projects, all made possible by the passing of time.

Twenty-one years of parenting have been

5 tips for parents when your adult children move home After dealing with the bittersweet experience of your last child leaving the nest, and having planned what you’ll do with that extra bedroom, you may not jump for joy if one of your children shows up on the front porch, suitcase in hand, needing a place to live for a while.

But statistically, about 40% of adult children do move back home for a while – due to economic necessity, divorce, a temporary transition, or just needing a safety net for a time.

With a few ground rules established, having your adult “boomerang” child in the house for a while can be a January/February 2005

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filled with the usual mayhem. School, homework, sports, Boy Scouts. “We weren’t the ‘Kool-Aid’ house, but we were completely immersed in our kids. Their schedules dominated our life,” Mary Jo admits.

“You have mixed feelings when the kids leave home,” Mary Jo says. “But mostly, it’s clear they have to take the next step.” As a mother, Mary Jo learned her young-adult children wanted less direction and more space to make their own decisions. “You realize you have to phrase things more like suggestions, not commands. This was especially true with our daughter,” she recalls. “That last year at home helps you make the transition because when they become more independent, things can get tense.”

Mary Jo and Tom do miss the regular interaction with couples who shared their parenting journey. “It surprised us that we were sad not to have activities that kept us in contact with our friends, but we realized we can now get together just for the heck of it, and not to sit in the bleachers watching a sporting event,” Tom says.

Mary Jo and Tom are excited to redirect their focus to one another. “I’m really looking forward to just spending time together, going out to eat, setting our own schedules, traveling,” Tom says. “Even if our travels do take us to visit our kids.”

blessing. when he or Parents can she moves enjoy the out, but paycompany of ing rent these other gives your adults in the child a sense house, and of responsiThe Gallaghers enjoying TV appreciate bility and on their own. some of the eliminates help their children can provide. the “free ride.” Adult children Research has shown that in the home should also pay a refilled nests work best when share of utilities, food and their the returning child has a good own telephone charges. They relationship with the mother. should be responsible for their In order to have a successown transportation and insurful return, consider these tips: ance expenses. If the child is Set a time limit. Agree unemployed or otherwise in advance how long your child financially strapped, negotiate will be staying – at least performance of household approximately. chores that are “extras,” such Charge rent. It can be a as painting the house, cleannominal amount, and you may ing the gutters, etc. choose to give it to your child Establish the house

FAITH Magazine

rules. Your adult child would expect to follow house rules as a guest in someone’s home. It should be the same in yours – agree in advance how you’ll handle noise levels, smoking, visitors and late nights out on the town.

Define household roles. An adult child at home should expect to do a share of cooking, laundry and cleaning.

If you’re going to be providing care for grandchildren, establish clear expectations from the beginning, such as time limits.

Maintain separate accounts. Your “boomerang” child is an adult, and should have his or her own bank and charge accounts, and no access to yours.

– Elizabeth Solsburg

By Marybeth Hicks | Photography by Tom Gennara

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es allaghers’ next step

I lost my job – now what?

4 spiritual issues w o r k

Parents never retire, even when lenge the foundations of their faith. their children have left the nest. In He urges them to use the philosofact, according to Fr. Mark Inglot, phies of their youth as a reference pastor of St. John’s Student Parish point in creating their own philosoin East Lansing, some of the most phy – and this means building on important parenting occurs when the foundations their parents gave children reach young adulthood them. “I tell students, ‘Your parents and choices have more meaning gave you your foundation. Are you and consequences. going to live in the basement or Here are Fr. Mark’s “top five build on house on it?’” tips” to mom and dad as they Encourage your student send their student off to campus: to find friends with whom to Let your student know practice his or her faith. “The that it’s important students who really to you that he or some of the most get into coming to St. she attends Mass. important parentJohn’s are the ones “Don’t phrase this as ing occurs when who come with a a command,” Fr. group of friends, at children reach Mark says, “make it least at first,” says Fr. young adulthood an invitation. But a and choices have Mark. These are strong one!” He more meaning and often the friends with reminds parents their consequences. whom your student jobs don’t ever end, will build a lifelong and simply telling your children relationship because it has how much it means to you that faith at its roots. they practice their faith will make Tell your son or an important impression. daughter that regisTell your student to tering at a student choose his or her friends parish is the adult wisely. “In college there is a wide thing to do. “College diversity of choices when it comes students are used to to building new friendships,” Fr. being registered as Mark says. “This is wonderful, but members of their parit also calls our students to use ents’ families,” says Fr. discernment so that their friends Mark. “Coming to a stusupport moral behavior.” This is dent parish and filling lifelong advice Fr. Mark says parout a registration card is ents should reiterate often. the first act of an adult Urge your student to be believer.” Students who a non-judgmental, critical are connected to the thinker. “This is really not an oxy- parish through registramoron,” Fr. Mark says. “I remind tion are more likely to students all the time that if you participate in churchdon’t stand for something, you’ll sponsored programs fall for anything.” College students such as Christian servare exposed to a host of new ice and retreat weekideas, many of which will chalends. – Marybeth Hicks

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s an Eagle Scout and former scoutmaster, the Boy Scout motto has been emblazoned in my brain: “Be Prepared.” As a boy, to me, this meant to make sure I had everything I needed for a camp-out. As I gained experience and learned the tricks for being prepared, I found myself enjoying the outings more, and not worrying about adversities like bad weather.

This motto applies to adulthood as well. Given the economic and cultural conditions these days, we need to prepare ourselves for the possibility of career transition. Part of being prepared is financial, but I’d like to explore how we prepare ourselves spiritually. The following are some adversities we encounter in career transition and how we can prepare for them in dealing with everyday issues at work:

1. Loss of self-esteem or confidence: In daily work life, others may get the promotion over us or someone else had a better idea. Learn humility; find and develop your true strengths and don’t try to mimic others. “To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.” (1 Cor 12:7) 2. Fear and uncertainty: We have bouts of fear when faced with deadlines or new bosses. Practice letting go and trusting God to guide you through. “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” (Matt 8:26) 3. Despair: We run into problems at work when we just don’t know what we’re going to do next. In those moments, find ways to turn your attention to serving others. “For it is in giving that we receive.”(Prayer of St. Francis) 4. Change: We deal regularly with restructuring, new bosses, and changing processes. Learn to put these in perspective. How many times have we survived – or even prospered – from change in the past when we trusted God to guide us?

T. Gennara

5 tips for mom and dad as they send their student off to campus:

l i f e

As you gain experience in faithfully responding to the lesser problems at work, you learn the tricks of being prepared for the changing weather conditions of your career.

When you do this you enjoy much more where you are today, because you’re not as concerned about the future.

Through trust and confidence in God, you know you are well-prepared.

– Tim Ryan

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who, me? retire? find out why Dave is busier than ever came out of the hospital searching. I’d had an “experience” (I won’t call it a near death experience, but it was similar to those you read about) that caused me to seek out what God had in mind for me. I began asking God what he wanted me to do. It made me sit down and evaluate life.

I knew by that time I wasn’t going to be president of Chrysler. My wife, Judy, who knows I am a stubborn German, says I was put in a position where I was forced to listen.

The hardest part in considering retiring was the fear of the unknown. I grew up in a world of computers and was familiar with that field. I would be leaving that behind.

What would I do? I was used to working Dave Scharf is busier – and happier – than ever, now that he’s retired.

55 hours a week and dealing with eacon Dave Scharf retired in December people all the time. I 1994, after 39 years with Chrysler had 12 people Corporation. He was the system manager for working for me.

Around 1990, the Import Support Group. In August of the someone said to following year, he was ordained a permanent me, “Dave, you deacon at St. Mary Magdalen Church in would make a good deacon. Have Brighton. He talks here about the transition to you ever thought an active retired life. about it?” A short time later, someone I began thinking seriously about retirement five or six else said the same Dave and Judy Scharf in their home. years before I actually retired. I planned to work until I was thing. I realized that 60 or ordained a deacon, whichever came first. Turns out I left I better think about it seriously. Then, a friend going through Chrysler at age 57. the diaconate program invited me to go with him to the canon My job at Chrysler was challenging – I was a golaw class. That made three times in three months that the diabetween, relaying information between people who were conate came up. I felt this was God speaking to me. ignorant of computers and those who were masters at them.

I definitely think God led me into the diaconate. Not by I also had a chance to travel, enough to make it interesting some direct word during prayer, but by actions. I think I’m not and help me grow as a person, but not so much that it was a consistent in my prayer life, though I pray daily. I like to think drag on my family. that in my prayer life, I am a “contemplative in action.” But God After undergoing heart bypass surgery in 1984, I is involved in every part of our lives. He works through circumJanuary/February 2005 20 FAITH Magazine

By Bob Horning | Photography by Tom Gennara

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stances and the people he sends us. I look back and see that my pay. As we discussed it, thoughts kept popping into my head about the people I was serving now. I think they were what life could have been completely different if such-and-such hadcaused me to say that I would expect a benefit package to be n’t happened. If my dad hadn’t died when I was 13, I probably included in my salary. At that point, he basically wrapped up would have become a pediatrician as we had planned. I wouldthe interview and said, “Mr. Scharf, we will call you if we can n’t have joined the Air Force. If I hadn’t clashed with the Air work it out.” Of course, he never did. I know God was putting Force recruiter, I probably wouldn’t have joined the Navy. If I the thoughts in my mind so that I would end up pricing myself hadn’t joined the Navy, I wouldn’t have met my wife out in out of the market. I really didn’t want to give up my people. I Washington state. loved what I was doing at Mary Magdalen. I had made the Both Judy and I had been involved in church ministry for right decision. many years, and that helped influence my decision God is involved Looking back, the only thing I would to do full-time work as a deacon. We started out in every part of have done differently in my career is not teaching catechism to eighth graders. Then we our lives. He wait so long to become a deacon. It is so became leaders of the youth group, extraordinary works through rewarding that I don’t even consider it work. If ministers of communion, certified catechists. My circumstances what you are doing isn’t rewarding, you have wife still does RCIA, marriage preparation, and the people chosen the wrong occupation.

Befrienders, religious education and other services.

Every night, every deacon should get Once you retire, you can only go golfing so he sends us. down and kiss the feet of his wife for what much, you can only help your wife around the she puts up with. A wife needs to be understanding to allow house for so long. When I became a deacon, Fr. Dave Howell her husband to do this ministry. I couldn’t do anything withtold me that I could do whatever I wanted at Mary Magdalen as out my wife. She went through the deacon classes with me. long as I was qualified for it. It ended up, as my family jokingly says, that I traded a high-paying 55-hour-per-week job for a 65- She would tell me, “Listen to your own heart and do what God tells you. I am with hour-per-week job that pays nothing. you in your deciA year after leaving Chrysler, I had a little test to see sion.” I call my if I had made the right decision. A headhunter from wife “St. Judy” to Chrysler called and asked if I wanted to return. I agreed to be able to be marmeet with him and talk. I told him that since I would be doing essentially the same job if I returned, I would expect the same ried to me.

5 questions to ask yourself before you retire: You’ve thought about retirement – sort of. You’ve done the financial planning, set up 401(k)s. But there’s more to retirement than money. Suddenly, it’s your last day of work and you’re not quite sure what you’re going to do tomorrow. Here are five questions to ask yourself before you retire: 1 What am I going to do without my co-workers?

You’ve seen these people on a daily basis for years. They provide adult conversation during your days. Do you have a social network to take their place?

2 What am I going to do after the first days of freedom? This is it! You can sleep in, catch up on that reading you’ve always meant to do, go fishing. It’s like being on vacation. But eventually, the novelty wears off and depression can set in. Have you thought about how you’re going to fill your days? Do you have a hobby?

A second career?

3 What am I going to do to enrich my spiritual life? This can be a time of deepening spirituality and enriched prayer.

Have you thought about what you’d like to do to improve your relationship with God?

4 What can I give back to my church and community?

There are myriad ways you can make the world a better place by volunteering the time you now have available.

Religious education, foster-grandparent programs, St. Vincent de Paul; the list is practically endless.

Think about what you can do to contribute.

5 How am I going to stay busy and keep my mind active? Studies show that physical exercise is important

as we age. If you’ve always put off exercising because you had “no time,” that excuse is gone! Retirement is also a great time to take a class in a subject you’ve always found interesting.

Continuing to learn keeps the mind sharp.

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your marriage matters Digital Vision

an ongoing series to help you strengthen your marriage

3 musts for debt management m o n e y

t i p

The old adage says death and taxes are unavoidable. I believe we can now add debt to that proverb. It’s inevitable. Mortgages, cars, credit cards, student loans and more. Things simply cost too much now to pay cash every time. So if we can’t live with it , or at least too much of it, and we can’t function without it, what do we do? We manage it!

Debt management comes in three very important but often disconcerting ways: 1 Knowledge – Educate yourself on the various forms of debt, learning how to obtain the best cost loans with the best terms for your family’s situation. Seek out lowest rates and shortest terms of repayment. Caveat emptor!

2 Live within your means – You have a budget and a family plan – right? Right?! Follow it. Be happy with what you have; after all, you can only afford what income you have available for debt repayment. The yoke of indebtedness is enough burden to break up families.

3 Be honest with yourself – This is the tough one. Have only the necessary debt your family needs to live comfortably.

We all need a house and transportation and life’s necessities. Is your debt based on taking care of your family, or is there excess due to “wanting it all,” or keeping up with the neighbors, or just that you think you deserve certain luxuries? If so, you either have some attitude adjustment ahead, or a long life of the never-ending gobstopper of owing. – John Morris

take 10 minutes to talk t i m e

m a t t e r s

“Take Ten To Talk!” The 4-T principle is easy, effective, and doesn’t take rescheduling the entire day to make it happen. Ten minutes set aside for just the two of you to talk shouldn’t be much of a stretch. Consider how much time we spend channel surfing on television, collecting the mail and sorting it, or getting ready for bed. We suggest the ten minutes right before turning the light off at night or first thing in the morning before rising from bed. It gives both spouses a chance to tell one another how much they are appreciated. – Tom and Joanne Fogle

talk about these 6 things to take back ownership of your marriage c o n n e c t i n g

This is a heavy topic but well worth the effort.

Sit down together and ask yourselves, “Who owns our marriage?” Is the answer the kids, work, other relationships and activities? In other words, where are your priorities?

Share your true feelings. Remember, marriage is your vocation; it’s not just another thing in your schedule. Then ask yourselves, “Can we remember the last date we had? The last time we spent a night away from the kids and the office together?

Or how about simply the last time we talked on a daily basis about things that matter to us?”

Talk about these things. Remember that marriage takes effort, prayer and faith in the goodness of your spouse. Here are some things to help you:

Time Tip: Some people never open the Bible or the Catechism because those books are so large. But if you read them one page at a time, they’re quite manageable.

1 Plan a get-away together in the next 60 days.

2 Set a consistent time for the kids to go to bed so you have time together.

3 Buy tickets to a concert or play, or simply go on walks together.

4 Give each other back rubs.

5 Each of you write up a list of five things you would like to do together. Talk about them and put them in your schedule.

6 Hold hands every night before either one goes to bed and pray together. God wants to work miracles in your marriage!

– Time Management for Catholics by Dave Durand

– Tony Sperendi

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Lansing area Worldwide Marriage Encounter is holding a Marriage Encounter weekend March 5-7, 2005 at the Hampton Inn in Lansing. Call (877) 743-3615 for more information.

congratulations – it’s a baby! where’s the instruction manual? t h e

m o m e n t

all this beauty in such a tiny package, so perfect in every way.

She: O blessing of all blessings, new life.

Thank you for this gift of love, this bundle of joy, this treasure beyond measure.

Together: Guard our lives as we guard this new life.

May this child grow in wisdom and grace in you. Amen.

Prayer of a New Family He: God, I can hardly believe it!

We were two in love – in love in your love.

She: Now we are three in love – in love in your love.

A new life has entered our lives, entered our circle of love.

He: It is too much to take in,

– Pat Nischan

how romance changes over the years r o m a n c e

&

i n t i m a c y

As we look back over our 23 years of marriage, we see how our views of romance and our approach to it have changed. Starting out like many young couples, expectations and passions were high, but we did not yet fully appreciate how romance and sexuality were only part of something much larger – marital intimacy.

This is not unusual; many young couples start out with the mistaken notion that their physical passion will always be high and will see them through any problem because they are so much in love. The reality is that few couples can sustain those early levels of romantic intensity. Each couple must successfully adapt to the ups and downs of the changing stages of married life. Whether it’s starting a family or adjusting to retirement, the successful couple learns how to shift roles while building a deeper sense of intimacy rooted in trust, commitment, true affection, mutual support, open and honest communication, forgiveness and a shared spirituality. For real closeness and intimacy to flourish, each couple must ultimately develop a style of romance that evolves as they pass through different stages of marriage 4 questions for discussion: 1 Discuss with your spouse how your romance has changed since you first got married.

2 What is our “style” of romance at this stage in our marriage?

3 Do I feel closer to my spouse now than when we got married?

4 Is romance something I’ve given up on, taken for granted, or is it part of a larger approach to strive for a deeper intimacy in our marriage? – Rick and Diane Peiffer

j o u r n e y

A

s new parents, we have plenty of information about raising children, but we seem to have different opinions about all this advice. How can parents agree how to parent?

After endless paperwork and long delays, a call comes from the adoption agency – your child is ready to join the family. Or after months of pregnancy, the baby you’ve felt kicking is finally in your arms. Despite the long process of preparation, the transition to parenthood is filled with surprises. A newborn with an easy-going temperament elicits different types of parenting behaviors than a colicky baby who is difficult to soothe. Couples find themselves negotiating new divisions of household tasks while adjusting to the role of parent.

Agreeing how to parent is a dynamic process and each developmental period brings its own set of challenges.

Clarify expectations.

Are there certain behaviors that you always expected to be a part of motherhood? What activities did you assume went along with becoming a dad? When these assumptions are brought to the surface and shared, each spouse gains a deeper understanding of what parenthood means to the other.

Remember that you are on the same team.

Although your reactions to child upbringing may differ, the underlying desire is the same – to make choices that will lead to your child’s healthy development. Focus on your mutual goals and remember that you are partners in desiring a wholesome family life. Once you’ve taken this perspective, start thinking about the specific issue to be resolved.

Set aside time to talk about parenting issues.

Bringing a baby home is a joyous time, but it is also a time of sleep deprivation and disruptions in daily schedules.

Disagreements about parenting are more likely when both spouses are exhausted. Make a decision – for now – and agree to talk in depth later. A mutual understanding about responding to a toddler’s persistent nighttime crying is easier to reach during the light of day.

Build relationships with other parents.

It helps to have companions on the parenthood journey. Friendships with other parents can be sources of emotional support and physical help. Check to see if your parish has a faith-sharing group or play group for the parents of young children. Baptism preparation classes are a good place to meet couples who share spiritual values with you.

A key aspect is remembering flexibility in your choices. Decisions that fit one child’s personality may need to be adapted for another child’s temperament. Pray to be open to the Spirit as you help your sons and daughters discover their vocations as children of God. (CCC #2226) T. Gennara

p r a y e r

PhotoDisc

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oh, no! I gotta go! how to deal with transitions you don’t want

EyeWire

s p i r i t u a l

f i t n e s s

Change can be good or bad. We can either surrender and grow in faith and trust, or we can fight and grumble.

T

ransitions are difficult. A few years ago, I moved from St Mary’s Parish in Westphalia to St. Joseph Church in Howell.

The logistics of the move were tough, but what was even tougher was that part of me did not want to go. The bishop had asked me to consider the move and there were good reasons for it, but I was very comfortable where I was. I loved my parish. And there were other priests who could do a much better job at St. Joseph Church! But I had to ask the Lord whether or not he wanted me to move. It was a tough question; I was thinking, “What if he says YES?!!”

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I did not give the bishop an answer right away. I thought, maybe he’ll find someone else. He didn’t. I was opening my mail and was reading a wonderful letter from a parishioner.

What was amazing was that the letter contained a prayer asking St. Joseph’s help in discernment. When I saw it, my heart was very touched and I prayed, “Well, St. Joseph, if I am to go to St. Joseph Parish I need a little help here! I just do not know. You made a difficult move in coming to Bethlehem and taking Jesus and Mary to Egypt, so ask God to help me too.” No sooner had I finished the prayer than the secretary called from the front desk.

“Fr Bill, the bishop is on the line. He wants to speak with you.”

Wow! God sure does not waste time! The bishop was calling to see if I had made a decision. It was time for me to die to self and say “yes” to God. Dying is difficult, but Jesus promises us that it leads to new life.

My transition helped me die to self and rise in ways I www.FAITHmag.com

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FAITH Magazine is sponsoring its first retreat, along with Fr. Bill Ashbaugh. Spend a reflective weekend at Bethany House in DeWitt and experience the true joy of the Easter season. The retreat begins Friday, April 1 at 6 p.m. and ends on April 3 after lunch. The cost is $141 per person and space is limited. To reserve your spot, or for more information, call (517) 342-2594 or send an e-mail to esolsburg@dioceseoflansing.org.

– have Christ’s dying and rising at their foundation. Our never thought possible. I discovered in a new way the transitions are connected and given meaning by Christ’s power of Christ’s cross and resurrection. That power was at death and resurrection. We literally plunge into that mystery work in me and in the community of St. Joseph. They had at our baptism. not had a new priest for over 30 years. Transition is always Our challenge this month is to see the paschal mystery at difficult, for the shadow of death is present in every change. work in the transitions of our lives. We may not have made Yet there is new life in every transition. The shadow of this connection before. The stuff of life and the business of death gives way to the brilliant light of the resurrection and transitions can prevent us from seeing its deeper meaning its promise of hope. and gift. We may get blocked by the disappointThis has been God’s plan from the beginning. ment concerning changes we do not like. Change In our original fall from grace through disobedi- Dying is difficult, ence, God had a plan to restore us to life. but Jesus promises can be good or bad. It depends how we let “changes” change us. We can either surrender and Remember Israel’s move out of Egypt? God told us that it leads to grow in faith and trust, or we can fight and grumthem to get ready to move. He told them that it new life. ble and complain like the Israelites was so important that they were to make that My transition did in the desert. Some of them month the first month of their calendar. They helped me die to wanted to go back to Egypt! were not to forget it! (Read Exodus, Chapter 12) self and rise in Things did not end too well for This was very big! Some may not have wanted ways I never them. They were stuck in to go, but if they wanted freedom, they had to thought possible. death, but God wanted them to obey the Lord. The feast of Passover commemopass through death to new life. rates this transition from slavery and death to new life.

That is what God wants for us all.

Passover foreshadowed what Jesus did and does for us. In Every little transition in our lives dying he destroyed our death, by rising he restored our life!

We call this saving mystery the paschal mystery. It is what we can prepare us for the BIG transition, our final transition from celebrate and remember at every Mass and sacrament.

All the transitions of our lives – all the dyings and risings this life into eternity.

Spiritual Exercises for this month:

These experiences are wonderful for anyone going through a transition, because the main theme is the paschal mystery. I will be part of a team leading this retreat; and I know you’ll find it to be a powerful experience. Think about the various figures in our faith and consider the transitions they made. Pick one and spend about 20 minutes considering their transitions. Think about their response to God and how you can respond in a similar way. Here are some suggestions for meditation: Abraham and Sarah – read Gen. 12, Joseph – read Gen. 37-50, Moses – read Ex 1-17, Mary and Joseph – read Matt 2, Jesus’ transition from private to public ministry – read Luke

3-4, and Jesus’ final days – read John 11-19.

The third exercise is for those who like to get their hands dirty. Take a seed of your favorite flower or vegetable and plant it. See what happens. Read John 12:24. Reflect on the experience of the seed and its transition and transformation. That is a natural sign of the paschal mystery.

Write down and describe one transition in your life. How did it cause you to die? How did God bring you new life?

–Fr. Bill Ashbaugh

Tom Gennara

I am going to go out on limb here. I would like to invite you to go on a retreat with me. FAITH Magazine and I are presenting a retreat on April 1-3 at Bethany House in DeWitt. See page 28 for more information.

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adoration – what is it and why do we do it? part 1 of an 8-part series on the Eucharist o f

t h e

O come let us adore him

CNS

Perhaps we think the practice of adoring the Blessed Sacrament in a monstrance is something that stretches far back into the history of our Church, maybe to the first few centuries after Christ. But we would be wrong. Actually, it was not until the 1300s that there is evidence of the elevation of the Blessed Sacrament at the time of consecration during Mass!

There was a previous practice of elevating the Sacrament as an invitation to Holy Communion, but the idea of simply adoring the Blessed Sacrament was unknown prior the 14th century.

Why is that so, we may ask? One needs to look at the historical context of the 13th and 14th centuries. Those were hard times, times in which people felt terribly unworthy, times when folks felt that they were such awful sinners that they would desecrate the Body of Christ if they received holy Communion.

So what was the next best thing? A sort of “spiritual communion” that was accomplished by simply gazing upon and adoring the Blessed Sacrament displayed in the bejeweled device known as a monstrance. This was as close to Christ as many dared come! So few people received communion regularly that eventually the Church had to require its reception during the time of Easter. This is why the “Easter Duty” was put into the Code of Canon Law. At the Last Supper, Jesus said, “Take and eat, this is my body…” He said, “Take and drink, this is my blood.” And, “Do this…” He told us. And receive him, we should. Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament is a time to spend in quiet contemplation and worship, but that practice should never take the place of receiving God’s gift of his Son to us in the Eucharist. He wants us to receive him, not only look at him. – Fr. Charlie Irvin

E u c h a r i s t

The Bread of Life Retreat Residence In 1998, Tim and Michelle DiLaura, after a summer of prayer and reflection, felt called to open a house of prayer in Ann Arbor.

During experiences with Madonna House Apostolate, they had encountered homes of prayer where overnight stays in a residence with a Eucharistic chapel were possible. Tim and Michelle approached priests in their area for counsel and support, which was wholeheartedly given. They then gathered a steering committee of area parish representatives, establishing the Apostolate for the Eucharistic Life.

Finding a house was the next step, and for months, they looked in the area of St. Thomas Parish, hoping to find a house that would allow use of the church for its Eucharistic presence. Their plans changed in February 1999 when the Ave Maria Foundation donated a house on the edge of town.

Although the township zoning

board fought the plan, the federal courts removed any restrictions for receiving overnight guests in a private residence in April 2003.

In September 2004, 85 guests participated at Mass with Bishop Carl Mengeling, as he reserved the Blessed Sacrament and celebrated the official opening of the Bread of Life Retreat Residence.

The Residence is intended to be a place of spiritual rest and renewal where people may make a private, overnight retreat. The house is situated in a quiet, wooded area, with ample surroundings for walks. Private accommodations, bread and soup, and linens are provided. The retreats are non-directed, offering an opportunity for solitude and reflection in Christ’s presence. A donation of $25 per night for an individual and $40 per night for a couple are suggested, but not mandated.

For more information, call (734) 332-9733 or e-mail afel@rc.net.

DiLaura

y e a r

Adoration is offered: St. Joseph, Adrian: Tues. 5:45-6:45 p.m. (517) 265-8938 | Christ the King, Ann Arbor: perpetual (734) 665-5040 | St. Francis, Ann Arbor: Thurs. 7 a.m.-7p.m. (734) 769-2550 | St. Thomas, Ann Arbor: First Fri. 9 a.m.-Sat. 9 a.m. (734) 761-8606 | Holy Spirit, Brighton (Hamburg): perpetual (810) 231-9199 | Holy Redeemer, Burton: perpetual (810) 743-3050 | Most Blessed Sacrament, Burton: First Fri. 1 p.m.-7 p.m. (810) 742-3151 | St. Mary, Charlotte: First Fri. 9 a.m.-7 p.m. (517) 543-4319 | St. Mary, Chelsea: Thurs.10 a.m.-Fri. 9 a.m. First Thurs10 a.m.-First Sat. 9 a.m. (734) 475-7561 | St. John, Davison: Thurs. 11 a.m.-9 p.m.

(810) 653-2377 | St. Peter, Eaton Rapids: Wed. 9:30 a.m.-4:50 p.m. closes with Benediction (517) 663-4735 | St. John, Fenton: First Fri. 9:30 a.m.-5 p.m. (810) 6292251 | Christ the King, Flint: First Fri. 6-7 p.m. (810) 233-0402 | Our Lady of Guadalupe, Flint: Thurs. 8:00 a.m-6 p.m. (810) 787-5701 | St. Leo the Great, Flint: First Fri. 9 a.m.-9 p.m. (810) 736-2150 | Holy Family, Grand Blanc: Tues. 1 p.m.-4:45 p.m. (810) 694-4891 | St. Michael, Grand Ledge: First Fri. 9:45-10:45 a.m. (Sept.-June) 9-10 a.m. (July-Aug.) (517) 627-8493 | St. Joseph, Howell: Fri. 8:45 a.m.-Sat. 7:45 a.m. (517) 546-0090 | Queen of the Miraculous Medal, Jackson: perpetual (517) 783-2748 | St. John, Jackson: First Fri. 10 a.m.- 5 p.m. (517) 784-0553 | St. Joseph, Jackson: First Fri. 9:30 a.m.- 5:30 p.m. (517) 784-0343 | Immaculate Heart of Mary, Lansing: perpetual (517) 393-3030 | St. Gerard, Lansing: First Fri. 8:45 a.m.-noon (517) 323-2379 | St. Mary Cathedral, Lansing: First Fri. 12:30-3 p.m. (517) 484-5332 | St. Therese, Lansing: First Fri. 8:45 a.m.- 5:45 p.m. First Sat. 8 a.m.-4:15 p.m. (517) 487-3749 | Our Lady of Fatima, Michigan Center: First Fri. 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m. (517) 764-2088 | St. Joseph, Owosso: First Fri. 9:30 a.m.- 5 p.m. (989) 725-5215 | St. Mary, Pinckney: Thurs. 9:30 a.m.-10 p.m., Fri. 9:30 a.m.-8:30 Sat. a.m.(734) 878-3161 | St. Joseph, St. Johns: Fri. 10 a.m.-Sat. 1 a.m., First Fri. 10 a.m.-Sat. 8 a.m. (989) 224-8994 | Holy Trinity, Ypsilanti: Tues. 7:00-8:00 p.m. (734) 482-1400 Visit www.therealpresence.org for more adoration locations outside the diocese.

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l o c a l

n e w s

Tony Costello – a winner on and off the field Tony Costello is a winner. As the football coach at Lansing Catholic Central High School, he led the 2004 team to a victorious season. For the first time in nine years, the team won more games than it lost, finishing with a 5-4 record. Tony says the best part of his coaching job is working with the kids – “It keeps you young.” Tony’s own children help keep him young as well; he has three children, aged five to 11.

But Tony is also a winner off the field. His job as coach at LCC is part-time; during the day he is the principal of the adult education center inside the Bellamy Creek Prison in Ionia. Tony supervises 13 teachers, who work with over 400 student inmates each year. The students have never finished high school and need a GED. Every year, Tony and his staff make sure that approximately 150 of them receive one.

Tony was a teacher at Lansing’s Resurrection School before moving on to the prison system and adult education. He’s a graduate of St. Gerard School in Lansing and LCC and says he “wanted to give something back to the schools that gave so much to me. I believe my morals and character were shaped by them.” That’s why he coaches football. He believes athletics can be an excellent preparation for life, teaching kids a work ethic, teamwork and fostering a positive peer culture. Tony says the athletes on his football team “encourage each other to do the right thing.” That attitude is reflected by Tony and his coaching staff. In his two years at LCC, he’s built a team of coaches who share his vision and moral values. They spend a lot of time talking to the students about the importance of making right decisions, letting the kids know that doing so usually leads to positive results. Tony’s other job is a constant reminder of what happens when kids don’t make the right decisions.

He says the hardest part of his hectic schedule as principal and football coach is the time commitment. It takes a lot to form a team, and he says, “my wife is very understanding. She recognizes that this is a positive thing and a way to give back to the community.” – Elizabeth Solsburg

C. Moeggenborg

On Sat., Nov. 13, Bishop Mengeling commissioned the following people as Ecclesial Lay Ministers for the Diocese of Lansing: Janet Coggins, Holy Rosary, Flint; Catherine Draheim, St. Mary, Williamston; Patricia Droste, St. Therese, Lansing; Leah Hinman, Immaculate Heart of Mary, Lansing; Mary Newman, St. Robert, Flushing ; Elaine Ouellette, St. John, Davison; Elaine Schilling, St. John, Fenton.

Ecclesial Lay Ministers have intentionally prepared for their various ministries through prayer, education and formation. They are committed to serve their brothers and sisters in Christ through those ministries in the Church.

Future priests ordained to the Order of Deacon Bishop Mengeling ordained the following men to the order of deacon on Sat., Nov. 20: Charles Canoy, Christ the King, Ann Arbor; Steven Mattson, St. Peter, Eaton Rapids; Michael O’Brien, St. John, Ypsilanti; Jeffrey Poll, St. Elizabeth, Tecumseh; Gordon Reigle, Queen of the Miraculous Medal, Jackson.

The new deacons will be ordained to the priesthood in June of 2005.

FAITH Magazine and the Diocese of Lansing extend their condolences to Dcn. Charles Canoy on the death of his father, Nov. 20.

C. Moeggenborg

E. Solsburg

Ecclesial Lay Ministers Commissioned

Alex Hill wins global activism award Alex Hill, who was featured in FAITH’s September 2002 issue, has won an award from NetAid, a non-profit organization. Four American high school students were honored with the Global Action Award, which recognizes those who take exemplary action to fight global poverty. The award-winners are selected from hundreds of applicants from 46 states. They will be honored at a gala event in New York City on Dec. 2.

Alex helped raise money for an ambulance and medical supplies for the Ugandan village of Fr. Joseph Birungi by making cardboard cutouts of the priest and placing them in donors’ yards with a sign reading, “I hosted Father Joseph!” The popular life-size cutouts, part of a Boy Scout project, netted over $67,000 for the people of the Bukuumi parish.

Alex continues to raise awareness and support and his efforts have helped purchase an ultrasound machine for the village, one of only a few in the entire country. He will graduate from high school at the end of this year and plans to study international relations.

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c o m m u n i t y

things to do Protecting God’s Children Program awareness sessions are being held at the following locations: St. Joseph Academy, Adrian at 12:30 p.m. on Jan. 28; St. James Parish,

Jan/Feb Café events St. Gerard Parish, Lansing, is offering a Catholic refresher course. Start the new year with a new faith perspective: Jan. 9, Church Tour; Jan 16, What is the Mass?; Jan. 23, People of the Church; Jan. 30, Scripture and Tradition; Feb. 6, Did you know Catholics have their own calendar?

Sessions are from 7-8:30 p.m. and meet in the Church and Parish Center. Call (517) 323-2379 for more information.

Teresa Tomeo, nationally-known broadcast journalist, will be the featured speaker at the Lent Event, St. Thomas Parish, Ann Arbor. March 5, 7:00 p.m.

Call (734) 761-8606 for more information.

St. Mary Parish, Chelsea is holding a Mass, dinner, video and discussion on Sat., Jan. 22 in the Parish Hall. The topic for the evening is Mother Teresa. Call (734) 4758164 for more information.

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Mason at 9:30 a.m. on Feb. 17; St. Mary Parish, Charlotte at 6:30 p.m. on Feb. 21; The Catholic Community of St. Jude, DeWitt and St. Thomas Parish, Ann Arbor at 6:30 p.m. on Feb. 23; St. Elizabeth Parish, Tecumseh at 6:30 p.m. on March 10.

A Caregiver Retreat for persons with disAbilities and their families will be held Sat., Jan. 29 at St. Peter Parish in Eaton Rapids. Two retreats are held simultaneously – one for caregivers and one for persons with disAbilities. The retreat will be held from 2 p.m. and end with a vigil Mass at 5 p.m. Call JoAnn Davis at (517) 342-2500 for more information or to register.

A day retreat for persons who are SightImpaired/Blind will take place Wed., Feb. 16 from 9:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. in the Diocesan Center in Lansing.

Cost is $10 per person and includes lunch. Call (517) 342-2500 for more information or to register.

Introduction to Natural Family Planning sessions will be held at the following locations: St. Mary Parish, Charlotte from 7-9 p.m. on Wed., Jan. 12; St. Joseph Retreat Center, Jackson from 5-7 p.m. on Sun., Jan. 16 and Sun., Feb. 20; St. Patrick, Brighton at 9 a.m. and St. Joseph Hospital Women’s Health Center at 10 a.m. on Sat., Jan. 22; St. Agnes, Fowlerville at 7:30 p.m. on Tues., Feb. 22.

Cursillo Movement retreat weekends are scheduled Feb. 24-27 for men and

FAITH Magazine

Join FAITH Magazine for our first retreat!

FAITH Magazine is hosting a retreat April 1-3 at Bethany House in DeWitt. We invite our readers to a weekend of prayer, talks by Fr. Bill Ashbaugh and others, quiet meditation and rest. This is a wonderful opportunity to reflect on the joys of the Easter season. If you’ve never been on a retreat before, take this time for yourself and your faith. The cost is $141 per person and reservations are being accepted now. Please call (517) 342-2594 or send an e-mail to esolsburg@dioceseoflansing.org for more information.

Cursillo – A gift received and shared Since joining the Catholic Church thirty-four years ago, I have reeived many gifts from the Lord. I realize that when I opened these gifts God provided me with opportunities to increase my faith and my relationship with him.

I joined the Catholic Church in 1970 and my husband and I were married that year. I learned a lot about our faith while raising our three children. I soon volunteered to teach religious education classes, hoping that I would gain as much knowledge as the children in my class. Yet something was missing from my life.

As our children graduated from high school, I was able to offer more of my time as a volunteer in St. Andrew Parish and to join study groups and help with RCIA. Through these activities, I expanded my religious knowledge, but I was still searching for something more.

Then, a gift was offered to me in the form of a Cursillo weekend. My sister and her husband had attended the weekend experience and had become retreat leaders. I went on a weekend retreat from Thursday evening to Sunday evening and my life has never been the same.

During the first day of the weekend, I sat and listened, but wondered what I was doing there. I was impressed with the way the other women in our group shared their faith and it put me at ease. The rest of the experience was rich and fruitful, as I made new discoveries about my faith. It was those discoveries that led me to give back to Cursillo as a leader myself.

The Cursillo Movement involves more than just a weekend. It is ongoing. During the weekend, a plan is outlined that helps us continue to grow in grace throughout the rest of our lives. This plan includes meeting in small groups to share our stories of faith and to reflect how that, along with study and action, aids our spiritual growth. – Jackie Rowe March 10-13 for women.

Both retreats take place at Camp Dainava, Manchester.

For more information, contact Jackie Rowe (734) 429-5675, Maria Jaimez

(517) 265-2720, Gene Myers (810) 234-3693, Mary Kay Howard (517) 784-1353 or Msgr.

Sylvester Fedewa (989) 587-4379. www.FAITHmag.com

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‘Today I Made My First Reconciliation,’ a new sacrament book Today I Made My First Reconciliation, a companion to Dianne Ahern’s Today I Made My First Communion has been released by Aunt Dee’s Attic. The book is intended primarily for students receiving the sacrament of reconciliation for the first time and for their families. The illustrations feature St. Thomas Church in Ann Arbor and its priests, Fr. Roger Prokop and Fr. Eric Weber. Students from St. Thomas elementary school were the models for the book’s protagonists.

Habitat Builds Two Homes

Olson

Habitat for Humanity paired with the Casimir Twins Build Partners, a group of 20 area parishes, to build two new homes at the corner of Smith and Rundle, on land donated by the Diocese of Lansing. The homes were dedicated on Wed., Oct. 27 by Bishop Carl Mengeling and presented to the new homeowners the same evening. Denise Paquette, executive director of Habitat for Humanity, Lansing, presented a plaque honoring Bob Vatter, the project coordinator for St. Casimir who died four days before the build began. Along with the keys to the house, the families were given quilts, Bibles and other gifts. A reception and home tours followed the dedication.

Saturday, Jan. 1 Octave of Christmas: the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God Nm 6:22-27 Ps 67:2-3,5-6,8 Gal 4:4-7 Luke 2:16-21 Sunday, Jan. 2 The Epiphany of the Lord Is 60:1-6 Ps 72:1-2,7-8,10-13 Eph 13:2-3a,5-6 Matt 2:1-12 Sunday, Jan. 9 The Baptism of the Lord Is 42:1-4,6-7 Ps 29:1-4,9-10 Acts 10:34-38 Matt 3:13-17 Sunday, Jan. 16 Second Sunday in Ordinary Time Is 49:3,5-6 Ps 40:2,4,7-10 1 Cor 1:1-3 John 1:29-34 Sunday, Jan. 23 Third Sunday in Ordinary Time Is 8:23-9:3 Ps 27:1,4,13-14 1 Cor 1:10-13,17 Matt 4:12-23 or 4:12-17 Sunday, Jan. 30 Fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time Zeph 2:3,3:12-13

Ps 146:6-10 1 Cor 1:26-31 Matt 5:1-12a Sunday, Feb. 6 Fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time Is 58:7-10 Ps 112:4-9 1 Cor 2:1-5 Matt 5:13-16 Wednesday, Feb. 9 Ash Wednesday Joel 2:12-18 Ps 51:3-6a,12-14,17 2 Cor 5:20-6:2 Matt 6:1-6,16-18 Sunday, Feb. 13 First Sunday of Lent Gen 2:7-9,3:1-7 Ps 51:3-6,12-13,17 Rom 5:12-19 or 5:12,17-19 Matt 4:1-11 Sunday, Feb. 20 Second Sunday of Lent Gen 12:1-4a Ps 33:4-5,18-20,22 2 Tim 1:8b-10 Matt 17:1-9 Sunday, Feb. 27 Third Sunday of Lent Exod 17:3-7 Ps 95:1-2,6-9 Rom 5:1-2,5-8 John 4:5-42 or John 4:5,19b26,39a,40-42

– Lilah Olson contributed to this story

‘Reign In Me,’ a debut album from Ascent The four Dougoveto sisters have been singing since they were small. Their parents introduced them to Christian music with children’s tapes; the girls started singing along and never stopped. They have been a popular part of the music ministry at St. Thomas Parish in Ann Arbor for several years. After Mass one day, a woman came up to them and handed them $20 and said, “Here’s the beginning of a CD fund for you.” With the support of their parents, they decided to record in August 2003. Their premiere album is a collection of 13 songs and can be sampled at www.ascentmusic.com.

FAITH Magazine remembers its readers’ deceased loved ones. Please remember them in your prayers: Dean Binkley Norma Decker Jerard Delaney Leo Dunnebacke Grace J. Gates Malina Gates

Carol Helfrich-Rupp Mims Keyes Gordon Marshall Meaghan Delaney Monroe Thelen and Barker Families

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Sony Pictures

Shortly after the Kranks’ only daughter Blair (Julie Gonzalo) departs to serve in the Peace Corps in Peru, Luther (Tim Allen) calculates that his family spent $6,100 on Christmas last year. Rather than celebrating this year, Luther suggests to his wife Nora (Jamie Lee Curtis) that they save the money and go on a Caribbean cruise.

The idea doesn’t sit The characters in the movie discover that the “true meaning” of Christmas involves community, family and selfless giving. well in the Kranks’ suburban Chicago neighborhood, which wins annual awards for Christmas decorations. Luther and Nora’s neighbors, led by Vic Frohmeyer (Aykroyd), insist that it is un-American and inexcusable not to celebrate Christmas, which on their street involves putting a 10-foot tall Frosty the Snowman on the roof.

As they prepare for their Christmas day departure, the Kranks must answer to everyone. At one point, their priest (Tom Poston) walks by the tanning salon in the mall, where the Kranks stand in ridiculously small bikini bathing suits and try to explain themselves to the confused-looking pastor. From the moment the Kranks begin to duel with their neighbors, much of the movie’s humor involves innumerable instances of people getting wet, By the time Thanksgiving is over, we slipping on ice, falling off roofs and getting electrocuted. The wackiness escalates when the Kranks receive an unexpected Americans are faced with the compulsion phone call on the morning of Christmas Eve. Blair is coming to shop for gifts, decorate and further con- home for Christmas after all, and she’s bringing her new fiancé.

Putting aside their differences, the community agrees to come tribute to general holiday hysteria. It can be together and help the Kranks prepare a traditional Christmas welcome for the young couple. “We’re a community,” announces overwhelming. “It comes along so early Vic. “And people in a community stick together, even if one of them for most of the holiday season has been acting like a selfish now, and I always feel, ‘Boy, I wish I didn’t baby.” Later, after they have successfully pulled off putting have to go through this,’” explains Dan Christmas together in a matter of hours, Nora presents a toast to her guests, saying, “You have really shown us the true meaning Aykroyd, who co-stars in Christmas with the of community.” Jamie Lee Curtis echoes her character as she reflects, “Community and family are important, and being Kranks, a new comedy about a family who together is what the holidays are supposed to be about. The rest of it is just commerce.” Director Joe Roth adds, “I like decide they’re going to do something Christmas movies because they’re shorthand for ‘community.’” unconventional this year.

Together with the themes of family and community is the

the FAITH interview: Alton Pelowski talks with the cast and director of Christmas with the Kranks

January/February 2005

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Tim Allen, Jamie Lee Curtis and Dan Aykroyd star in the Christmas comedy, “Christmas with the Kranks.” When the Kranks decide they want to do without all the hassle of Christmas, their neighbors step in. The light-hearted film can remind us of the importance of community.

retired yet active what does that mean?

Sony Pictures

l a s t

renunciation of selfishness, which is foreshadowed by people referring to Luther as “Grinch” and “Scrooge.” Allen describes his character as “pig-headed” and “self-absorbed.” In the end, he has an epiphany in recognizing his self-centeredness. Screenwriter Chris Columbus, who adapted the script from John Grisham’s novel, Skipping Christmas, says, “It’s easy for us to give a toy to Toys for Tots or $100 for a calendar, but the biggest Christmas gift you can give to someone is self-sacrifice. For Luther, that means to stop being selfish and to stop being so self-obsessed.”

In short, the characters in the movie discover that the “true meaning” of Christmas involves community, family and selfless giving. Of course, Christmas does involve these things, but only because of what – or rather whom – Christmas actually celebrates. Jesus Christ is the reason to celebrate Christmas. After all, there shouldn’t be a need for a holiday to celebrate community or practice charity. Dan Aykroyd explains it well, saying, “Really, all year we should be espousing the Judeo-Christian values of ‘Treat others like you wish to be treated,’ and ‘To those whom much have been given, much will be required.’

Instead, we reserve it for different times of year like Christmas and Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day. The rest of the year, we’re fighting” Ultimately, despite their lessons learned, the Kranks seem to resolve that skipping Christmas doesn’t seem like such a bad idea after all.

This is understandable when one realizes that their celebration of the holiday seems to involve little more than Frosty, Santa and jinDan Aykroyd explains, “Really, all gle bells galore. Jesus is not year we should be mentioned. Yet, perhaps we can still learn one or two things espousing the from the Kranks during the Judeo-Christian Christmas season, as we prepare values ... Instead, our hearts to celebrate the birth of we reserve it for the eternal Word who became flesh different times of year like Christmas.” and dwelt among us. (cf. John 1:14) For one thing, celebrating Christmas should not be experienced as a burdensome tradition, in which stress disperses all joy. Likewise, we should not just submit passively to commercialization and consumerism of the season. Instead, maybe we should just take a step back, breathe, and open ourselves to what Christmas is really all about.

– Alton Pelowski

Christmas with the Kranks has been rated PG by the MPAA for brief language and suggestive content.

w o r d

“W

hat do you mean, you’re retired? I thought priests never retired.” Thus begins many conversations I’ve had over the past couple of years. And then there’s the little line that’s appeared at the bottom of The Last Word that indicates I’m living in DeWitt in “active retirement.”

Well, active it truly is! But “retirement?” What does that mean? It means I am relieved of the business of running a parish. No council and committee meetings, no dealing with contractors and others who “do business” with any parish. I am free from my role as head of the Complaint Department of the Catholic Church.

Retirement, for me, means that I’m able, for the first time since I was ordained, to be fully a priest and devote myself to the things I was ordained Retirement, for to do. In the seminary we were not trained me, means that to be “arm-chair psychologists” or small I’m able, for the corporation CEOs or personnel managers. first time since I We had to learn those things while on the was ordained, to job. Now I can be what the seminary pre- be fully a priest pared me to be. and devote myself I am now truly a diocesan priest, availto the things I was able to help in any parish of the Diocese of ordained to do.

Lansing – and beyond. By “beyond” I mean really beyond. In the past six months, I’ve been a substitute pastor for one weekend in a parish on Chesapeake Bay and served a parish in Bakersfield, California. I’ve got the country bracketed!

At our beautiful St. Francis Retreat Center, I hear confessions, give retreats for individuals, and speak at Bethany House, our diocesan youth center.

And then there’s writing – I do a lot of writing – writing for FAITH magazine, writing Sunday homilies for CatholicWeb. com and I’ve even written a book. The latter endeavor has provided a lot of humility, working through the rejections I’ve received from publishing houses.

The big benefit of retirement (for me at least) is lots of time to discuss things with God. The quality of my prayer life has shot up since I’ve retired. I’m paying a lot more attention to what God has to say to me rather than presenting him with my shopping list of things he needs to do for me, or for others for whom I am a pro bono advocate.

No, I’m not retired from being a priest. In fact, I am now more of a priest. And so, my dear active-duty priests – you’ve got something to look forward to! See ya’ when you get here!

– Fr. Charles Irvin

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Baptism:

January 9, 2005

Consecrated Life:

February 6, 2005

Ordained Priesthood:

April 17, 2005

Permanent Diaconate:

April 24, 2005

Marriage and Family Life:

May 22, 2005

Dedicated Single Life:

July 10, 2005

Ecclesial Lay Ministry:

October 9, 2005

Missionaries:

October 23, 2005

Vocation, Gift of God, Given for God’s People “... bring to maturity the seeds you have sown in the field of your church ...”

TM

300 W. Ottawa Lansing, MI 48933 Online:

www.DioceseofLansing.org www.FAITHmag.com

The Outreach Mass: Sundays On TV:

Flint: Lansing:

FOX 66 10 a.m.

WHTV, UPN 18 10 a.m.

WLAJ, ABC 53 at 6 a.m.

On Radio: Mass, 11 a.m. on WJIM 1240 AM