April 2007

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He doesn't know how to dress right.

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She's not my mother.

What What was Jesus really like after the Resurrection?

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t’s spring! For those of us who live in Michigan, the easing of bitter cold, the lengthening of days and the hint of green’s return are reasons enough for joy and thanksgiving. We rejoice at the release of winter’s grasp on our lives, and anticipate the warmth and color of summer.

We also rejoice at the end of Lent and the dawn of the season of Resurrection. After Mass on Easter morning, children everywhere will exclaim happily over their colorful baskets and chocolate bunnies. Perhaps their parents will have a moment to savor a cup of morning coffee and the glimpse of a sunrise. These too are little bits of everyday joy that are part of all of our lives – as long as we know how to look for them.

As a priest, I am often invited to be part of some of the most joyful events in people’s lives. I have been blessed to celebrate the sacrament of marriage with many young couples who are just beginning their partnerships and their adult lives – and also with some not-so-young couples, who are rejoicing in a second chance at the joy that comes only from love. In this issue, Jim and Marilyn Rhadigan, who supported each other through the grief of widowhood, tell us a little bit about how they found love a second time.

Father Terry Dumas has experienced several “second chances” in his own vocation story. From husband to father, to priest, to retirement – Father Terry has learned a lot along the way and shares his wisdom with all of us.

And one of my own parishioners, Linda Hundt, lights up our cover this month with her infectious joy. Linda has had some difficult times and some moments that were close to despair, but yet her smile brightens the day of anyone she encounters. Linda also finds joy in giving – leftover pies from her bakery find their way into the hands, and mouths, of parishioners who may be going through tough times.

For some, those hard times may make it difficult to find joy. I recently helped a friend and colleague bury his son – within a year of losing his daughter-in-law and wife, as well. In moments of overwhelming grief, it may be hard to imagine where joy may be found. But as St. Paul says, now we see through a glass darkly; when we are with Christ, all will be clear to us. For those of us struggling to find joy, let us cling to that hope.

And of course, the bits of joy we find in our lives are simply reflections of the greater, deeper joy that Easter promises. For we who believe in the risen Christ, there is a profound joy in Jesus’ victory over death and in his assurances that we join him in that triumph. As Bishop Mengeling reminds us, “We are an Easter people, and Alleluia! is our song.” And so our journey in FAITH continues.

In moments of overwhelming grief, it may be hard to imagine where joy may be found. But as St. Paul says, now we see through a glass darkly; when we are with Christ, all will be clear to us. For those of us struggling to find joy, let us cling to that hope.

Joy!

We need to know how to find it

– Father Dwight Ezop is editor of FAITH Magazine and pastor of the Catholic Community of St. Jude.

FAITH Magazine

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Sweet life – how Linda baked away the blues Linda Hundt is a bundle of energy and joy – but it hasn’t always been that way. From a bout with melanoma, through the depths of depression and financial hardship, it’s often been a rough road. Find out why Linda believes God gave her the gift of baking to brighten her life – and the lives of everyone she touches.

– Nancy Schertzing

inside

what you’ll get out of this issue in the know with Fr. Joe 6 Dear Fr. Joe: What’s the role of conscience? – Father Joseph Krupp

work life 9 It’s not my fault! What to do when a co-worker criticizes us. – Tim Ryan

your marriage matters 10 She says: He doesn’t know how to dress right without my help.

He says: She’s not my mother – I can pick my own clothes. What do they do? – Deborah McCormack

the parenting journey 11 You decided what?! How we allow our children to grow up.

– Dr. Cathleen McGreal

theology 101 12 What was Jesus really like after the resurrection? How would he look and sound? A conversation about Christology with seminary professors. – Elizabeth Solsburg

from the bishop

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Snapshot of new life – a gift to celebrate the birth of a baby Make these adorable picture holders for a shower or baby gift. It’s a festive and personal way to welcome a new little person into the world!

– Michelle Sessions Difranco

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w o r d s o f w i s d o m What do I know?

Father Terry Dumas’ second vocation. Father Terry has been a husband, father, pastor and retired priest. Find out what he’s learned at every step of the way about how God’s been part of the picture all along. – Bob Horning

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14 We are an Easter people – and Alleluia! is our song. – Bishop Mengeling

spiritual fitness 24 You make me want to shout! Moving from somber to celebration.

– Father Bill Ashbaugh

the last word 30 Pleasure, happiness, joy – what’s the difference? – Father Charles Irvin

o u r s t o r y Too soon for love? Jim and Marilyn journeyed from widowhood to marriage. Jim and Marilyn – and their spouses – were active members of their parish. As they each experienced the grief of widowhood, they found new love with each other. Read more about the challenges and joys of love the second time around. – Kimberly Laux

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Liturgical Calendar: Palm Sunday April 1 | Holy Thursday April 5 | Good Friday April 6 | Holy Saturday April 7 | Easter Sunday: The Resurrection of the Lord April 8

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The Magazine of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing

PUBLISHER

Rev. Charles Irvin FOUNDING EDITOR

Who’s who in the Diocese of Lansing Ministry

April 2007 • Volume 8: Issue 3

Rev. Dwight Ezop EDITOR IN CHIEF

Patrick M. O’Brien MANAGING EDITOR/CREATIVE DIRECTOR

Elizabeth Martin Solsburg ASSISTANT EDITOR

Patrick Dally ART DIRECTOR/WEBMASTER

Jillane Job SUBSCRIPTIONS/SECRETARY

Sylvia Ranspach GRAPHIC/WEB DESIGN INTERN

Lindsey Walter EDITORIAL INTERN

Little-known fact: As a graduate of Michigan State University, Patricia is a true Spartan, but as an Irish-American born on St. Patrick’s Day, she confesses to a soft spot for the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame.

Patricia can be reached at pohearn@dioceseoflansing.org.

The Father Charles Irvin Scholarship Essay Contest

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Derek Melot Margaret Perrone PROOFREADING

Tom Gennara James Luning (cover) Phillip Shippert CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS

Vicki Bedard Wayne Case Michael Eichhorn Mary Jo Gillilland Diane Nowak Margaret Perrone Rev. Bernard Reilly James Rhadigan Ricardo Rodriguez Dcn. David Rosenberg Rev. James Swiat Peter Wagner Sharon Wimple ADVISORY BOARD

FAITH Publishing Ser vice

Last call! The due date is April 20.

The topic is: Tell us a personal story illustrating how being part of a parish community has impacted your own faith journey.

– Joe Zawacki, Corunna

High-school seniors who are parishioners in the Diocese of Lansing are eligible for the $1,000 cash prize. All essays MUST be submitted by a teacher in a diocesan Catholic school, a parish DRE/CYM or a pastor. FAITH will not accept direct submissions.

fr. charles irvin writing scholarship for high school seniors

theme: Tell us a personal story illustrating how being part of a parish community has impacted your own faith journey.

write win

+

Rev. William Ashbaugh Michelle Sessions DiFranco Elizabeth Grodi Marybeth Hicks Shanon Hoffman Elizabeth Johnson Rev. Joseph Krupp Kimberly Laux Deb McCormack Tom and JoAnne Fogle Bob Horning Cathleen McGreal Rick and Diane Peiffer Tim Ryan Jan Rynearson Theresa McWilliams-Wessels

Patricia O’Hearn is the new director of development for the diocese. She is working tirelessly to raise the funds needed for diocesan ministries to work with the people of the Diocese of Lansing.

Patricia has worked as development director with the Sisters of Mercy at St. Lawrence Hospital, at Michigan State University and with the Ingham Regional Healthcare Foundation. She was also the director of development for the Newspapers in Education program at the Lansing State Journal.

Dear Editor: Hypocrisy can be defined as insincerity by virtue of pretending to have beliefs that one does not really possess. It is being currently exemplified by Vatican Cardinal Renato Martino, who recently stated, “The United States’ plan to build a fence on the U.S./Mexican border was part of an inhuman program.” Isn’t it just a bit ironic that this statement is made behind the Vatican’s own heavily fortified walls? The United States has every right to secure its own borders. … Correct me if I’m wrong, but Jesus spoke to individuals about their moral obligations to the poor, not a government’s obligation to take any and all that wish to come.

$1,000

Most Reverend Carl F. Mengeling

$1,000 and have your work published in FAITH Magazine

entries due april 20 sponsored by faith magazine

We want to hear from you!

Tell us what you think. We want to hear your opinions – about articles in the magazine, happenings in our church or anything you want to share.

Send your letters to:

Rev. Dwight Ezop CHAIRMAN

Patrick M. O’Brien PRESIDENT/CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER

Elizabeth Martin Solsburg EDITORIAL DIRECTOR

Enomhen Odigie GRAPHIC/WEB DESIGN

Abby Wieber GRAPHIC DESIGNER

Patricia Oliver SECRETARY

Editor FAITH Magazine 209 Seymour Ave. Lansing, MI 48933 Or send us an e-mail: esolsburg@ faithpublishingservice.com

InnerWorkings PRINT MANAGEMENT FAITHPublishingService.com FAITHTM (USPS 01993) is a publication of FAITH Publishing Service, Catholic Diocese of Lansing, 300 W. Ottawa, Lansing, MI 48933. FAITHTM is published monthly except for February and August. To purchase a subscription, log on to FAITHmag.com. If you have a change of address, please contact your parish. Periodicals postage paid at Lansing, MI or additional offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: FAITHTM, 209 Seymour Ave., Lansing, MI 48933. ©FAITH Publishing Service. FAITH is a trademark of FAITH Publishing Service.

Please make sure to add a line granting us permission to print your letter or e-mail.

Your thoughts and ideas matter. Please share them!

St. Anselm, Bishop and Doctor April 21 | St. George, Martyr and St. Adalbert, Bishop and Martyr April 23 | St. Fidelis of Sigmaring

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He lived on a haunted island He predicted his own death

No offense, but tact has lost its tongue

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here comes a time when everyone must learn there are things you just don’t say. For my daughter Betsy, that time came in about the sixth grade when she began to preface her comments with the words, “No offense, but ... ” For some reason, she thought this phrase constituted a pre-emptive apology of sorts, allowing her to follow it with painfully honest opinions such as, “No offense, but those jeans make you look fat,” or “No offense, but your breath smells like a wet dog.”

After a while, we realized Betsy’s propensity for “no offense” was backfiring, risking damage to her relationships, not to mention the self-esteem of many unsuspecting victims.

My husband finally set her straight. “Betsy, any time you have to begin a comment with the words ‘No offense,’ you absolutely are about to offend someone.

Stop talking instead.”

From then on, we banned the use of that phrase in favor of simply keeping one’s thoughts to oneself.

It’s not easy to teach children the rules of polite conversation – because there no longer are any rules to teach. We parents grew up know-

ing it always was inappropriate to discuss one’s salary, the price of one’s home or the details of one’s colonoscopy. But those kinds of topics have become commonplace.

Even the one standby rule – never to discuss politics, sex or religion in polite company – no longer applies.

This is because avoiding these three topics would preclude talking about the day’s headlines. – Marybeth Hicks

Perfect for Mother’s Day! Dinner with SpongeBob ... on vacation with a “stalker” ... the saddest day of summer ...

These are just some of the experiences you’ll read about in Marybeth Hicks’ new collection of family columns, The Perfect World Inside My Minivan, available at FAITHmag.com for $15.

Find out whether Betsy learned polite conversation, only on FAITHmag.com.

Saint Guthlac of Mercia Feast Day: April 11 Claim to fame: Related to the royalty of Mercia, Guthlac was a young man when he began to serve in the army of Mercia’s King Ethelred. This socalled army may have operated more like a band of thieves, ravaging the countryside along the Welsh border and collecting extensive bounty. After nine lucrative years in the king’s service, Guthlac abandoned this way of life. Filled with remorse, Guthlac took his vows and gave much of his war booty back to his victims. Then he joined a Benedictine abbey at Repton in Derbyshire, England, where Elinda was abbess. His austere lifestyle, however, made him unpopular with the other monks.

Guthlac longed for a life of solitude and began his search for an isolated place to live as a hermit.

What made him a saint: Around 699, Guthlac and a few companions moved to a remote, marshy island in the Fens that was thought to be “haunted by evil spirits and monsters.”

They settled in, although Guthlac apparently hated it there.

Guthlac lived a life of severe penance, subsisting on bread and water, eating only after sundown.

Best quote: One day, he gave sanctuary to Ethelbald, who was fleeing his cousin, Coelred. Guthlac told Ethelbald that he would be king one day. Ethelbad promised to build Guthlac an abbey if his prophecy became true. Ethelbald did become king, and even though Guthlac had died two years previously, Ethelbald kept his word and started construction of Croyland Abbey on St. Bartholomew’s Day, 716 AD. How he died: Word of Guthlac’s sanctity and his gift of prophecy spread. Despite his isolation, many came to seek his advice. This included the bishop of Litchfield, who ordained Guthlac. Supposedly, Guthlac even predicted his own death. He died in 714 AD. Prayer: Just as Guthlac believed in helping all of your creatures, dear Lord, may I do what I can to care for wildlife.

Help me to protect their environment and by doing so, leave the animals in peace with plenty of land and food to flourish. May I constantly remember that they are a treasured part of your glorious creation. Amen. – Jan Rynearson

maringen, Priest and Martyr April 24 | St. Mark, Evangelist April 25 | St. Peter Chanel, Priest and Martyr and St. Louis Mary de Montfort, Priest April 28 | St. Pius V, Pope April 30

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Dear Fr. Joe What is the role of conscience?

Dear Fr. Joe: What is the role of conscience?

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he role of conscience is a big one, I assure you. Let’s get right to it.

Conscience is two words stuck together: Con meaning “with” and science meaning “knowledge.” Conscience is the knowledge that God put in you about what’s right and what’s wrong.

There are, I think, a lot of mistakes about the role of conscience, so let’s take a close look at what the church says and what she doesn’t say about conscience.

In the Vatican II document Gaudium et Spes, the church defines conscience in this way:

In the depths of his conscience, man detects a law which he does not impose upon himself, but which holds him to obedience. Always summoning him to love good and avoid evil, the voice of conscience when necessary speaks to his heart: do this, shun that. For man has in his heart a law written by God; to obey it is the very dignity of man; according to it he will be judged. (cf. Rom. 2:15-16) Conscience is the most secret core and sanctuary of a man. There he is alone with God, whose voice echoes in his depths. (cf. Pius XII, March 23, 1952: AAS (1952), p. 271) In a wonderful manner conscience reveals that law which is fulfilled by love of God and neighbor. (No. 16) That is powerful – let’s take it step by step.

First of all, we see that conscience is a law, given by God. You and I are not the source of this law; God is.

Law is an important thing; breaking it is very serious.

The second thing we see is that God planted this conscience in our hearts and that this conscience will speak to us when we need to focus on our call to love what is good and avoid what is evil. That is a simple, powerful statement – think about it for a bit.

The last thing is that our conscience is connected to our dignity – it is our secret, holy place to be with God. Our intimacy with God in our conscience is part of what makes us so special, so elevated in our dignity.

See, this is the powerful thing: God doesn’t just call us to do what is right; he plants in our heart the ability to know what is right. To top it all off, God gives us

One day a first-grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. “Chicken Little told the farmer, ‘The sky is falling, the sky is falling!”’

The teacher paused and asked her class, “What do you think that farmer said?”

One little girl raised her hand and said, “I think he said: ‘Holy mackerel! A talking chicken!’”

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. the Holy Spirit’s gift of fortitude to follow up on what we know.

Now, it’s not enough for us to simply have this gift – God wants us to form that gift. It is way too easy for us to deceive ourselves in our sin into pretending that what we want is a good thing, even when it isn’t.

How do we form our conscience then? Let’s get right to

the catechism:

The education of the conscience is a lifelong task. From the earliest years, it awakens the child to knowledge and practice of the interior law recognized by conscience. Prudent education teaches virtue; it prevents or cures fear; selfishness and pride;

If you have a question you’d like to see answered in an upcoming issue, send it to: “In the Know with Fr. Joe”, FAITH Magazine, 209 Seymour Ave., Lans

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in what year was Abraham Lincoln assassinated?

FAITH asks: We asked fourth-grade students at St. Joseph School in Howell these questions: How do you show your faith to others without using words? What has your favorite teacher done to show his or her faithfulness?

It was felt as far north as southern Oregon, and as far south as Los Angeles. Breaching the northern 296 miles of the San Andreas Fault, and causing catastrophic damage, the Great San Francisco Earthquake occurred at 5:12 a.m. on April 18, WHAT YEAR? Despite a heart condition, Wilbur Wright, together with his brother Orville, developed the first effective airplane beginning in 1900, finishing it in 1903. Wilbur Wright was born on April 16, WHAT YEAR? Isidore, Spanish scholar and archbishop of Seville, whose most extensive work included his Etymologies, an encyclopedia that used liberal arts and secular learning as the foundation of Christian education, died on April 4, WHAT YEAR?

Answers: 1865, 1906, 1867, 636

So, we form our conscience in the following ways: Reading the Word of God – You know those “WWJD” bracelets? We don’t have to guess the answer to that question. When we read God’s word, we learn about God’s heart and commands.

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What has your favorite teacher done to show faithfulness?

While observing a performance of Our American Cousin at Ford’s Theatre in Washington D.C., Abraham Lincoln, the 16th American President, was assassinated by John Wilkes Booth. He died April 15, WHAT YEAR?

resentment arising from guilt; and feelings of complacency, born of human weakness and fault. The education of the conscience guarantees freedom and engenders peace of heart. In the formation of the conscience, the Word of God is the light for our path. (cf.

Ps. 119:105) We must assimilate it in faith and prayer and put it into practice. We must also examine our conscience before the Lord’s cross. We are assisted by gifts of the Holy Spirit, aided by the witness or advice of others and guided by the authoritative teachings of the church. (CCC 1784-1785)

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Prayer and acting on what we hear in prayer – We need to spend that quiet time each day in God’s presence, growing in our relationship with the Lord. When we do this, our minds and hearts grow more like God wants them to be.

Examination of conscience – This is a big one. At the end of the day, we look at what we said and what we did, and we hold it up to the light of God’s mercy. We have to be fearless here and trust that we can receive God’s mercy.

Call on the Holy Spirit – We need divine help to do what is right. If I need to explain this one, please let me know. I need more perfect people in my life!

Advice of others – We can fool ourselves easily. People around us who really love us will nail us when we cross the line. We have to check with people who will tell us the truth no matter what.

Mallory: I show my faith to others by being nice.

If someone is by themselves at recess, I go up to them and play with them.

My teacher (Laura Ceresa) shows her faith to me by teaching us religion and by giving us activities to do to spread the word of God.

Jacob: My teacher (Debbie Shipman) shows her faith to me by teaching us, and she takes us to church. She is nice and keeps us safe.

And last, but not least, she has a smile on her face.

Guided by the church – This is one we need to be really attentive to. God speaks through the Catholic Church to teach us the truth. Too many times, I meet people who dismiss church teaching because it is hard. We cannot do that! Before we disagree with the church, we better make sure that we read what the church actually says and why she says it. When she says “no” to certain behaviors or attitudes, the church is saying “yes” to our dignity.

Ultimately, that is the role of conscience: to protect our God-given dignity and to keep us from being consumed by our own desires and hungers. God loves us and loves us enough to call us to freedom.

Let’s listen to the voice of our consciences and follow them with love.

Enjoy another day in God’s presence!

Steven: I show others my faith in God by praying to God, because it strengthens the bond between me and God. My teacher (Laura Ceresa) shows her faith to me by being so enthusiastic in religion class, and she always cares about what’s happening to us.

57% of Americans say religion is very important in their lives. (Gallup 9/06)

What do you think?

Log on to FAITHmag.com then click FAITH forums to discuss this and other interesting topics.

– Father Joseph Krupp

Lansing, MI 48933 or JoeInBlack@priest.com.

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what in the world? the top-10 Catholic News events this month

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Nun recognized for education work in India Sister Cyril Mooney, 70, will be conferred the Padma Shri Award for her 40 years of work to educate the marginalized and the poor.

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First bishop appointed for Nepal Benedict XVI appointed Father Anthony Sharma, 69, as the first apostolic vicar of Nepal.

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Aziz pleads to pope for help The Vatican could be prepared to plead for the life of former Iraqi deputy Prime Minister Tariq Aziz; the 70year-old Chaldean Catholic faces the death penalty should he be found guilty of collaborating with executed dictator Saddam Hussein.

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Screwtape Letters becomes film Walden Media is planning to adapt C.S. Lewis’ The Screwtape Letters into a film that will be released nationwide in early 2008.

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Marriage still for life A worldwide survey of 25,000 people from 46 countries has found that 70 percent of people still believe that marriage should last for life.

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U.S. bishops address global warming The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops urged members of Congress to address the moral and environmental dimensions of global climate change after an international report cited human activity as the likely cause of rising temperatures around the world.

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Edwards’ campaign consultants resign John Edwards’ consultants, Melissa McEwan and Amanda Marcotte, resigned after the Catholic League for Civil and Religious Rights protested the content of their personal blogs.

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Church expels adults who force child marriages The Catholic Church in the Indian state of Kolkata is excommunicating those who are found to be forcing minors into marriage, senior diocesan officials said.

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Catholics may edge out Anglicans in England For the first time since the Reformation, the number of Catholics in England may surpass the Anglican population due to heavy immigration from Eastern Europe.

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Bishop leads polls for election A former Catholic bishop, Fernando Lugo, is the top contender for the 2008 Paraguayan presidential election, according to a public opinion poll in the capital Asunción.

FAITH Magazine

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Pope hails women’s role in early church

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enedict XVI concluded his series of reflections on figures from the nascent church by highlighting the decisive contribution of women to the development of Christianity.

to her by St. Thomas Aquinas.

“The church gives thanks for Benedict XVI continued recalleach and every woman,” the ing the women that had a decisive pope said at the end of his Feb. role in the early church, showing 14 speech, held in Paul VI Hall. how they had roles of responsibilThe church gives thanks “for ity in their communities noting, all the victories which she owes as St. Paul said to the Galatians, to their faith, hope and charity: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, She gives thanks for all the fruits there is neither slave of feminine holiness,” he stressed, quoting “The church gives nor free, there is neither male nor female; Pope John Paul II’s ap- thanks for each ostolic letter Mulieris and every woman,” for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

Dignitatem. the pope said at The pope pointed “Women at the serthe end of his Feb. vice of the Gospel” was 14 speech, held in out that St. Paul “admits as something the theme Benedict XVI Paul VI Hall. chose for the catechesis, normal that woman in which he began by reviewing can ‘prophesy’ in the Christian the history of those women who community, that is, pronounce became disciples of Jesus, paying herself openly under the influspecial attention to the Virgin Mary ence of the Holy Spirit, on the and Mary Magdalene. condition that it is for the edificaGiven that the latter “not only tion of the community and in a was present at the Passion, but dignified manner. also became the first witness and “Therefore, the famous exhortaherald of the Risen One,” the pontion ‘women should keep silence in tiff called her the “apostle of the the churches’ must be relativized,” apostles,” quoting a reference made he added. – Zenit

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it’s not my fault what to do when a co-worker criticizes us

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Anti-abortion supporters announce the referendum results in Lisbon.

Abortion referendum fails in Portugal A referendum aimed at loosening Portugal’s abortion law is nonbinding because of lack of voter participation.

Only 43.6 percent of registered voters went to the polls. National law requires 50 percent for the ballot to be valid. Of those who did vote, 59.25 percent assented to relaxing the abortion law to decriminalize abortion in the first 10 weeks of pregnancy; 40.75 percent voted no.

Portuguese law currently allows abortion only in cases of rape, fetal malformation or if the mother’s health is in danger.

The Socialist government has an absolute majority in Parliament and Prime Minister José Sócrates had pledged to change the law through Parliament even before the vote. Portugal is 94% Catholic. – Zenit

Number of Catholics and priests rises The number of Catholics and priests in the world at the end of 2005 had increased slightly over the previous 12 months, according to the new Pontifical Yearbook.

The 2007 edition of the yearbook stated that as of year-end 2005, the latest date for which data are available, there were 1.115 billion Catholics worldwide.

The 2,400-page volume, which offers a numerical overview of the state of the church, showed an increase of 1.5 percent of Catholics compared with the 1.098 billion listed the previous year.

A Vatican summary of some of the data revealed that “since this relative growth is quite close to that of the general population – 1.2 percent – the presence of Catholics in the world has remained substantially unchanged – 17.20 percent.” There was a slight increase of Catholics in Europe. – Zenit

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Carl has been at his new job for a couple of months.

arl says: I changed jobs and joined a consulting firm so that I could learn more and gain experience. I had a good basic skill set, but lacked somewhat in the specific subject matter they were covering in the first project.

Management agreed that it would be a great experience for me to build on my existing background. The two guys I’d be working with had a lot of experience to learn from. However, once we got into the project, my two teammates became overly critical. They sent unfair feedback to management and thus, when the project ended, I came very close to losing my job. Fortunately, I had one person supporting me, so I was given another chance, albeit at a lower salary. Over the next few months, I worked on projects with excellent people, performed well, and I received outstanding feedback. However, I don’t understand why my co-workers sent the negative report to management in the first place.

The expert says: Stephen Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, writes about the concept of the win-lose philosophy of human interaction. This is a situation where a person feels that, in order to win, someone else has to lose. “Value does not lie within them, it lies outside. It’s in comparison to someone else, or against some expectation.” (p 207) Sometimes this attitude manifests itself obviously, as certain people outwardly try to bring others down. But more typically this attitude is subtle. If we feel threatened by someone, we are critical and judgmental of their shortcomings. These criticisms may seem as harmless as expressing them to our friends, or as purposeful as judging someone publicly. Instead of

trying to improve ourselves, we feel it necessary to bring others down.

Christ taught that the more we evaluate and condemn others, the more we can expect to the judged. In Luke’s Gospel, Christ refers to hypocrites who worry more about the splinter in their brothers’ eyes than the beam in their own. (Luke 6:37-42) We are more critical of small faults in others than we are of our own. Jesus says we need to focus first on removing the beam from our own eye before we can help our neighbor with his or hers. We should concentrate on rectifying our own flaws first, before we worry about someone else’s.

We need to constructively work on improving ourselves, and helping others in order to be successful. Covey echoes Christ’s message by explaining that the result is a win-win situation, which is actually a manifestation of love. – Tim Ryan

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What’s that in the fridge?

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if one day you opened the refrigerator to find a little bouquet of flowers with your name on it? Or a special card taped to the steering wheel of the car? Your spouse would like that, too! money

Life has no guarantees True, but we are supposed to plan prudently.

Make sure your insurance coverage is adequate to replace your home at its full value if some catastrophe occurs.

Keep a list of all your personal possessions – even better with photos – in a location away from home, like a safe deposit box.

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huck and Elaine are newlyweds. When they go out for the evening, Elaine lays out clothes for Chuck to wear. This is causing some resentment on Chuck’s part.

He doesn’t know how to dress right without my help Elaine says: I love Chuck, but let’s face it, he’s no fashion model.

If I didn’t lay out his clothes for him sometimes, he can look like a geek. For example, when we went to a friend’s wedding last month, Chuck would have worn his jeans, white socks and sneakers. To a wedding! He can look stunning when he dresses up – I don’t see why he can’t just take some advice.

She’s not my mother – I can pick my own clothes Chuck says: It’s not fashion advice; it’s more like the fashion police. Elaine neglected to mention that the wedding was an outdoor barbeque – yes, some When Elaine lays of the guests were dressed clothes out on the up, but there were certainly bed for me to wear, a number of them in jeans. it makes me feel as When Elaine lays clothes out if I’m a 5-year-old. on the bed for me to wear, it makes me feel as if I’m a 5-year-old. Elaine is my wife – not my mother.

This problem seems pretty simple and straightforward. However, early in a marriage this can be a red flag for possible trouble later. How we handle these early issues lays the groundwork for Chuck’s and Elaine’s future marital relationship.

I am a big believer in communication. Chuck gives us a good idea of how he perceives the fashion advice. He does not view it as helpful or necessary. It is important for newly married couples to discuss openly and honestly their roles and responsibilities. I wonder if Elaine takes on the mothering role in other situations.

Sometimes this seems a natural role for the woman in a relationship, but it can be overwhelming when we mother those who are capable of handling their own decisions and actions.

And in a few years, when there are children to raise, it is possible Elaine will grow to resent her perceived need to ‘mother’ Chuck. She and he need to be partners to each other, not parents. This is part of the beauty of God’s plan for married couples.

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p a r e n t i n g

Occasionally, we all need empathy and support from our partners, but this support should be clearly requested or offered – and not expected – by either partner.

The roles in a new marriage need to be mutually acceptable and beneficial. Communication is critical. It is often easy to let these little aggravations go and avoid handling them. After all, it’s only ‘suggesting’ how one should look or dress. Chuck may think, “I‘m making a mountain out of a molehill.” Resist this temptation to minimize the feelings and the issue. I don’t think you can overcommunicate in a marriage. What we do know is that we can undercommunicate. That happens all the time – with negative results.

It is important to set clear expectations in relationships. Using the speaker/listener technique is often a helpful way to communicate these expectations. First, set a time aside to discuss issues privately and regularly. Listen to your partner. Then repeat back what you heard. Ask for confirmation from your partner regarding the issue at hand: Is what I understood what you really said or meant? Then respond: This is how this issue makes me feel.

So would it have been so awful if Chuck were not the fashion model at the wedding? Probably not. Would Chuck be willing to dress so Elaine finds him more attractive? I bet he would! Had they talked first, a compromise could have been reached. They could learn from each other what really matters in their relationship – and it’s not clothes.

Please remember that if you and your spouse find yourselves in a situation where you are unable to resolve your marital issues with these techniques, professional counseling help is recommended. Your local Catholic Charities agency can help.

– Deb McCormack

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j o u r n e y

com m uni ca ti o n

You decided what?! how we allow our children to grow up Take a hike Sometimes it’s hard to find time to communicate – especially if you want to talk about the kids and they’re right there underfoot!

If they are old enough to stay home alone for a few minutes, take a walk together. The quiet and lack of distraction leads to better conversation.

Can’t leave the kids? Try sitting on the front porch instead. time

W Our children are not extensions of us; they are unique individuals.

e pour our hearts into our children, hoping that our parenting decisions are for the best. Before we know it, they start making choices of their own and we have to start pulling back. “Not this first Communion dress.

It feels itchy.” (But it’s just what I always pictured.) “This year, I’m putting my hair in a pony tail for picture day.” (But we won’t be able to tell how long and pretty it is!) “Soccer practice overlaps with football, so I’m giving up soccer.” (I had him pegged for a soccer scholarship.) “This time we broke up for good.” (I was sure she would be our daughterin-law.) “I’m taking early retirement.” (What? I just retired myself last year!)

Our children are not extensions of us; they are unique individuals. Whether it is feeling irrational shame for a child’s inexcusable behavior, intense pride for another’s accomplishments or the desire to over-control, being a parent can be challenging at times. How do we detach from our children’s behaviors?

When do we know it’s time to let go?

Your children are God’s children!

It’s about time!

Fool the brain to fuel the relationship. Discover in your daily routine what doesn’t get canceled, postponed or delayed. Maybe it is taking medicine or watching the evening news.

Re-label it and enter it on your calendar, i.e.

“Take relationship medicine for us”, or “Watch my sweetheart across the table.”

The Baltimore Catechism stated, “God made me to know him, to love him, and to serve him in this world, and to be happy with him forever in heaven.” As parents, we cannot pull our children down paths of our choosing, assuming we know God’s plans for them. “Children … contribute to the growth in holiness of their parents.” (CCC #2227) One reason is because we must trust in God; we just aren’t sure how everything is going to turn out!

We pray, “If today you hear God’s voice, harden not your hearts.” We teach our children to pray and to listen for God’s voice. Then we must let them learn how respond to God in their daily lives under our guidance.

Feeling a bit over-invested in a child’s behavior?

Ask yourself “why?” Are you trying to make up for experiences that you didn’t have as a child? Or do you want to make sure your children don’t feel the heartbreaks that you did? Just as we can’t raise children in a germ-free world, we can’t free them from emotional pain – and shouldn’t help them avoid the consequences of bad decisions. We can model how to be followers of Jesus even when we are faced with life experiences that trouble us. – Dr. Cathleen McGreal

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t h e o l o g y

1 0 1

theo lo g ian o f the m o nth

Anselm of Canterbury (c. 1033-1109)

Anselm was born in Burgundy, and was the noble son of Gundulph and Eermenberga. After his mother died, he fled his father’s harsh temper and traveled a while before coming to Normandy and entering the abbey at Bec when he was 27.

How would he look and sound?

what was Jesus really like after the

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his year, FAITH is exploring Christology – the study of Jesus Christ. We asked several eminent seminary professors some questions about Jesus. Their answers are enlightening and thought-provoking.

Meet the professors Father Acklin

Father Muller

Father Stevens

Father Thomas Acklin is a monk of St. Vincent Archabbey in Latrobe, Pa. He is a graduate of Duqesne University, St. Vincent Seminary, The Catholic University of Louvain and Pittsburgh Psychoanalytic Institute.

Father Earl Muller is The Bishop Kevin M. Britt Professor of Theology/Christology at Sacred Heart Seminary in Detroit. He formerly taught at Marquette University in Wisconsin.

Father Gladstone Stevens is on the faculty of St. Mary Seminary in Baltimore.

Q

FAITH: If we met Jesus the moment after the Resurrection, how would he look and sound? Could we touch him? Why did so many of his friends not recognize him?

Father Acklin: All we have to go by are the Gospel accounts. The skepticism of the last several centuries has affected us overmuch. I am not a literalist or fundamentalist in a negative sense, but we go too far if we become very skeptical about what really happened. The historical elements are very important. But the most important element is faith – it is not so much proving what “really happened” as understanding that the Resurrection was an event that took place in time, yet reaches into every moment of time and

Anselm became the abbot, building Bec into a formidable academic power and writing several theological works. He was the archbishop of Canterbury from 1093-1109, and was renowned as a philosopher and theologian. His famous ontological arguments for the existence of God still influence theological thought today.

Anselm’s Christological position rests on the concept of the atonement – if our sins have wounded God’s honor, God’s justice demands satisfaction, which, as a penalty for man, must be of man. Since God is infinite, the satisfaction must also be infinite, and therefore divine. Only in Jesus could this be accomplished.

What is the Magnificat? Mary’s prayer at the annunciation. It begins “My soul magnifies the Lord.” See Luke 1:46-55.

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WHO

IS

CHRIST?

A Y E A R - L O N G C O N V E R S AT I O N W I T H T H E O L O G I A N S

Heresy!

Monarchianism: Jesus is holy, not divine This heresy has nothing to do with kings and queens – or butterflies. Its name is rooted in the Greek monarches, or “one rule.” Dynamic Monarchians taught that the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit were three persons, one God. They taught that God is one person – the Father. Jesus is a man and the Holy Spirit is a “presence” of God the Father. Jehovah’s Witnesses are modern examples of Dynamic Monarchians. Some Dynamic Monarchians were also adoptionists, which will be discussed later.

Modal Monarchianism teaches that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are modes of a single person – God. So, Jesus is God the Father, simply in a different mode or form.

Modern examples are some Pentecostal and Apostolic churches, which teach that the name of the one God is really Jesus and that baptism must occur in his name, not in the name of the Trinity. beyond time. I think the appearance Father Muller: According to of the risen Lord – the variety of the Gospel accounts, you could the Gospel accounts – is explained touch Jesus after the Resurby the subjectivity of the rection. When he In terms of recogni- tells Mary not to do recipients. Jesus had tion, when some- so, it’s cryptic – he already gone beyond one is changed, space and time. He is letting her know had already descended you don’t necesthat their relationship sarily recognize into hell and come has changed. When them immediately. Jesus appeared to back into space and time in some ways. Yet, You go to highthe disciples, it could school reunions, Jesus invites people have given them the and someone looks impression that their to touch him – to eat vaguely familiar meals with him. The relationship was going and you know you to go back to what it tendency to explain away the bodily resur- should recognize had been before the rection diminishes our them, but it takes crucifixion. Jesus is own bodily significance some kind of action saying that isn’t the – we are going to live to jar the memory. case – their relationexactly as Jesus: in ships will be transtransformed bodies. As Paul says, formed. In terms of his appearif Jesus did not rise from the dead, ance, we don’t have a clear idea then our faith is in vain. of the properties of a resurrected

w h a t d o e s th a t symbol mean?

Alpha and Omega Jesus Is called the alpha and omega in the Book of Revelation.

Alpha is the first letter of the Greek alphabet and omega the last.

So, this symbol indicates that Jesus is the beginning and end – the all.

Bible Quiz Magician or fraud? – who am I? Magic, magic, I love magic. Lots of people believed I could fly whenever I wanted. Could I? I’ll never tell! I’m mentioned in the Acts of the Apostles – not the most flattering portrayal of my magnificence – if I do say so myself. There I was, practicing magic in the town square – and perhaps collecting a donation or two – when I heard Philip preaching about Jesus Christ. In

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that moment, I believed – I really did – and I went out on missionary work.

Was it really so much to ask that the apostles share the power of calling down the Holy Spirit? I mean, I was willing to pay them for it! In fact, my name has become the root of the word describing the sin of paying for church offices. Who am I? Turn to page 30 for the answer

body. Jesus could appear behind locked doors; clearly there was some sort of change that took place in his relationship to bodiliness. In terms of recognition, when someone is changed, you don’t necessarily recognize them immediately. You go to highschool reunions, and someone looks vaguely familiar and you know you should recognize them, but it takes some kind of action to jar the memory. And so some did not recognize him until he broke bread with them.

Father Stevens: It is interesting how reticent the Gospels are about providing a physical description. There are two texts about how we recognize him after the Resurrection. One is Paul’s conversion story, where Jesus says, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” In this, Jesus makes no distinction between himself and his community. This is how we are to recognize him – it is in the lowly that we find Christ. (Mt 25) His followers also recognized him in the breaking of the bread – at that moment, they said, “Our hearts were burning within us.” The recognition makes us more, bigger.

Read the Magnificat – Mary’s heart is enlarged, increased. We are made bigger because the Word is made present – whenever our hearts burn, that’s the recognition.

– Elizabeth Solsburg

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ith few exceptions, the joy of Christmas enchants us at an early age. Each year, we’re drawn into Christmas joy almost instinctively. It’s simply “awesome!” It is wondrous how everyone and everything unite in bringing joy. It’s like the varied instruments of an orchestra creating musical harmony. For me, like you, the joy of Christmas came easily and naturally at an early age.

It wasn’t like that with Easter.

Easter was different and very mysterious. It couldn’t hold a candle to Christmas and seemed less important for this young child. Of course, there was the short-lived joy of the Easter-egg hunt, chocolate bunnies and Mom’s Easter dinner. It was over in a single day.

So, our observance and celebration of Christmas and Easter are very different. Yet, Easter is the central reality of our faith. St. Augustine proclaimed, “We are an Easter people and Alleluia! is our song.” Every Sunday is an Easter celebration: It takes some time for the central truth of Easter to become central in our Christian lives.

In his first homily as pope, Benedict XVI said, “The church is alive because Christ is alive, because he is truly risen.”

The Christmas-Easter connection dawned on me in the seminary – I became aware of these two great feasts as being inseparable and as one event that continues in us.

After ordination, as a priest in

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b i s h o p

graduate studies, the Easter event of resurrection, eternal life and joy captured me as never before. Of course, I’m still working on it!

St. Thomas Aquinas states that people desire joy and happiness more than anything else – and that joy is the first effect of love and selfgiving. One can say, “The source of one’s joy is the home of one’s love.”

Joy comes in all forms. Sometimes it is sudden and passes quickly, while other times it arises from memorable events. Sometimes it is lasting. Sometimes joy is planned and anticipated – sometimes it is a surprise. Sometimes we experience joy alone – other times it is shared. Each of us has experienced a kaleidoscope of joy in our lives. In my 77th year, I recall many.

Our yearning for joy is so linked to our humanity that we are never satisfied. So many of our joys are fleeting, while others are dream-like reveries – and still others are forgotten. As our life journey progresses, we ask, “Is there lasting joy?” We yearn for joy that is always with us, that transforms and brings peace of soul – joy that never ends.

The so-called “highs” and “cloud nines” of our day don’t even come close to lasting and ongoing joy.

The yearning for the fullness of lasting joy is manifest in the music, drama, art, poetry and literature of all times. It’s true now with the addition of films and other forms of modern media.

Among the countless examples of humanity’s longing for joy, the ancient Greeks and Romans yearned for Elysium. It was the abode or state of ideal joy after death – a lasting paradise. Elysium is a central theme of the 1999 film Gladiator.

It’s amazing how our yearning for lasting joy pervades time. All the fairy tales always end, “... and they lived happily ever after.” Even the Gene Autry, Roy Rogers and Tarzan films always had happy endings.

We’ve had a lot of Elysiums: the Shangri-La of Lost Horizon, South Pacific’s Bali Hai, and of course, the wonderful land of Oz. These just scratch the surface – our yearning for lasting joy is always there.

All of this leads to the big questions: Is it fantasy or delusion? Is there enternal joy? Can there really be a joyous person? Is there a lasting joy that ties together our joys of family, friends and the wonders of nature? The answer is a resounding, “Yes!” It is the joy of the Easter event that becomes our event. It is the resurrection of the dead, it is eternal life in the Kingdom of God. It is the lasting joy in the communion of saints.

As our life journey progresses, we ask, ‘Is there lasting joy?’ We yearn for joy that is always with us, that transforms and brings peace of soul – joy that never ends.

We are an Easter people and Alleluia! is our song

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In my life, I’ve been blessed to know people who have and are this lasting joy. I will never forget so many whose joy was so attractive and inviting. At the time, I didn’t know why. Only later did I begin to understand.

These people were always joyful – their love and self-giving were accompanied by a constant joy that endured all things, and that moved and encouraged many. It was so striking because these people had reasons to be unhappy. But they were believers who saw the whole picture!

I can tell you about a few of them – others are known only to God. First are the wealthy owners of a famous restaurant who lived a very simple life and gave away most of what they made. Their joy was contagious.

And there is the recently widowed lady, who has been care-giver to her severely disabled child for more than 60 years. Daily Mass is her strength, and her service to the parish is a joy for all who know her.

I also remember the couple who happily took charge of a Vietnamese widow and her five children. They, and many others in their parish, brought a constant gift of love and joy for many years.

And finally, there is the priest, now retired, who responded to the tragedy in Bosnia and Sarajevo by going there often, providing help for all: Catholic, Orthodox and Muslim. He provided funds for students to study in the U.S. and he is still there – acting as joyful priest and peacemaker.

All of these people are examples of those who know a lasting joy.

We too can experience it in this life – and in its fullness forever with God and the saints.

Jesus offers the full response to our yearning for lasting and complete joy: “I am going to prepare a place for you, and then I will come back to take you with me, that where I am, you also may be.” (John 14:3) When the disciples saw him after the Resurrection, Jesus said to them, “Look at my hands and feet, it is really I. Touch me and see that a ghost does not have flesh and bones as I do.” And Luke reports that “They were still incredulous for sheer joy and wonder.”

(Luke 24:36)

The joy of Jesus is already with us – an Easter people whose song is Alleluia!

– Most Rev. Carl F. Mengeling is the fourth bishop of Lansing.

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I

Sweet How Linda baked away the blues

Life

I am a coalminer’s granddaughter who grew up loving tradition and celebrating good food and family. I had no idea these were gifts until God folded them into a perfect plan for me.

Sweetie Pie is a business that’s really more about loving people than making money. It will be nice to make money someday, but, for now, I truly believe my girls [co-workers] and I are doing ministry work here. Our customers need to be cherished. When they come to our shop, that’s how we try to make them feel.

I know what it’s like to need that. What it’s like to wonder how you’re going to get up and face another day. I know how it feels to wonder if God has a plan, and why life has to be so hard!

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A few years after my husband, John, and I were married, we both lost our jobs. We had no health insurance and, though I had a degree in elementary education, I couldn’t find a teaching job. In the midst of all this, I became pregnant with our first child. I truly believe now that God gave us Ellie to give us hope and take our minds off our troubles. But at the time, God’s plan wasn’t so clear!

Though I would have loved to have time with my newborn daughter, I needed to find a job immediately after she was born to pay the bills. I went to work in state government. Although the work was unsatisfying, I loved the people I met. I also was able to hone my baking skills at the office in weekly bake-offs, where my treats were always favorites.

By Nancy Schertzing | Photography by Jim Luning

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c o v e r

s t o r y

John and I saved for a farmhouse and had another beautiful daughter, Betsie. As a family, we worked on renovating the farm and canning foods from its gardens and berry patches. A few years later, I was diagnosed with early-stage melanoma. My doctors treated it with surgery and preserved my physical health.

But my mental health began to suffer.

My melanoma ushered in a depression that grew stronger because my job now included very limited contact with people. When I lost the opportunity to interact with others, I sank into a depression I I couldn’t see the couldn’t escape. perfection of God’s

plan, but I held on Depression is worse than to the belief that anything I’ve ever experi- one day it would enced. I couldn’t take part in become clear. the joy of life. I came to think of it as the devil leaning over my shoulder all the time, telling me I was worthless. At the lowest point, I felt I had nothing worthy to give others. I even felt unworthy of God’s love.

We needed my income, but my depression deepened every day in my government job. I quit that to run a state association, hoping the change would help.

Antidepressant drugs, therapy and spiritual reading did nothing to lift the darkness. My only solace came from cooking and baking for my family and friends.

Most days I would just have to say, “OK, you win today, devil, but you’re not going to win tomorrow.”

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Suddenly, I saw that all the bad parts of my life had led me to the better parts. For the first time I understood that all of my experiences were part of God’s perfect plan for me. I knew without a doubt that God loved me.

I call that my second epiphany, because it opened my eyes to the fact I had a gift for something. My whole life I had never believed there was anything special about me or my abilities. Now I began to see I did have a gift – a gift for loving people. The question now was, “What could I do with it?” r e s o u r c e

If you are suffering from depression and do not know where to turn, you can call your local Catholic Charities agencies for help or a referral. In the Diocese of Lansing, they are:

Through it all, I held on to a reading that touched me while I was battling melanoma. It said, “Faith is truly knowing that all parts of your life, good and bad, are part of God’s perfect plan for us.” I couldn’t see the perfection of God’s plan, but I held on to the belief that one day it would become clear.

At one low point in despair, I picked up this reading again, and a rush of warmth washed over me. Suddenly, I saw that all the bad parts of my life had led me to the better parts. For the first time I understood that all of my experiences were part of God’s perfect plan for me. I knew without a doubt that God loved me.

My new job included travel. During one trip, I had a six-hour layover. While waiting, I talked with a number of travelers and really loved my time with each one. After a few hours, a woman sat down next to me. She looked at me and said, “I’ve never done this before, but for some reason I have to tell you. You have a gift. I’ve been sitting, listening to you talk to those people. You have a gift for loving people.”

• Adrian: Catholic Charities of Lenawee, 517.263.2191 • Ann Arbor: Catholic Social Services of Washtenaw County, 734.971.9781 • Brighton/ Howell: Catholic Social Services of Livingston County, 517.545.5944 • Flint: Catholic Outreach, 810.234.4693 • Flint: Catholic Charities of Genesee/Shiawasee Counties, 810.232.9950 and 989.727.8239 • Jackson: Catholic Charities of Jackson, 517.782.2551 • Lansing: St. Vincent Catholic Charities, 517.323.4734 Ext. 1202 • Lansing: Cristo Rey Community Center, 517.372.4700

Sitting in church one Sunday, I remember Father Dwight talking about how God calls everyone differently. As I thought about his words and my question of what to do with my gift, I had my third epiphany. The message came clearly into my mind as if someone had spoken it directly to my heart: “You need to love people.” From that moment, I knew I had to use the gifts I had unknowingly been mastering for years. I would love people through a café-bakery where I could make wonderful food and honor the traditions passed down to me.

It was like connecting the dots. While honeymooning on Cape Cod, John and I had visited a little shop called Pie In the Sky. After that, I always dreamed I’d have my own pie shop some day. For years, I had gathered garage-sale things or cast-offs for the shop and stored them in our barn. I had been baking pies part-time to sell at my farmers’ market stand and had developed a good following. The perfect building was available for rent downtown. Even my depression helped because it gave me insomnia!

I worked deep into the night writing out memories and recipes from my baking mentors for use in my shop. God was opening the way; I just had to believe in my gifts and make my dream happen.

Initially, my husband was afraid of the risk. But I told him, “You just have to believe in me because I truly, truly know this is right. I know this has to be.”

Eventually he understood, and he and our family and friends went to work renovating the shop and bringing together all my collections from the barn.

A little over a year ago, we opened our doors.

So many hours and so much to do, but I never get tired. I’m off the antidepressants and the depression devil is gone now. We’re meeting our bills every month and our family and customers feel happy and loved.

Everyone has a gift! I couldn’t see mine. But through all these life experiences I realize God made my perfect life plan to help him love others.

Truly, I think God gives us all gifts to love each other the best we can in all our different ways.

Sweetie Pie’s mission of celebrating love, tradition and people through great food is my way of using God’s gifts to me.

Want a taste of pie? Visit Sweetie Pie at 108 N. Bridge St., DeWitt.

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Father Terry Dumas’ second vocation

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By Bob Horning | Photography by Tom Gennara

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w o r d s

o f

w i s d o m

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eaving a career in early childhood education, Terry Dumas was ordained in 1988. He was pastor of Old St. Patrick Parish in Ann Arbor from 1994 until he retired in July 2005.

When I flunked Latin as a high-school sophomore in seminary, I figured that the priesthood wasn’t for me, and I didn’t think about it again. However, I always had an inclination to service, which may be why I eventually became a teacher. It was a huge surprise, after my divorce and annulment years later, that God was calling me.

I met my wife while we were both lay missionaries on an Indian reservation in southern California. We married in 1960 and had three children. We divorced in 1981.

sharing groups. After a while, my practical mind said that – since I get joy out of this – why not do it fulltime? Seminary was the next step.

In chapel one day at seminary, I cried out to God that I was so tired of being different. He said to me, “That’s too bad. You are.” His presence became so real.

I began to read Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe! Plans to give you a future full of hope.” Before I could finish the sentence, my tears flowed, because the experience of God was so palpable.

Occasionally, during my daily prayer, the same type of thing occurs.

My life has been one long series of events with God showing his love to me, caring for me. I continually remind myself that God is God, not me. He is in charge.

We are always dependent upon him. The capacity to “let go and let God” derives from knowing that he loves me.

Around that time was when I experienced my biggest joy in life. I had always viewed God as someone who was judging me, taking The woman I was account of my actions and getting ready to dating told me punish me. Part of that view resulted from one day that she my having become someone I didn’t like – a loved me. That divorced man and an alcoholic. was a problem, But God reached down to me where I was.

Two things happened. I made a decision to face my alcoholism and to live with rigorous honesty. Entailed in that was rediscovering my spirituality through a self-help group.

And that meant working on seeing God as loving and forgiving.

because I couldn’t say it back to her.

As I was driving home, I had a sense that God loved me the same way. Even if I couldn’t say it back to him, he said to me, “That’s too bad. I love you anyway.”

Secondly, the woman I was dating told me one day that she loved me. That was a problem, because I couldn’t say it back to her.

As I was driving home, I had a sense that God loved me the same way. Even if I couldn’t say it back to him, he said to me, “That’s too bad. I love you anyway.”

That has been the foundation of my relationship with him ever since, rather than the false image I had of him as someone to fear because he would hurt me.

That’s why friends are important to me; they are the body of Christ for me. They reveal that God loves me anyway, despite everything I have done. Of course, that reminds me that I need to do the same for them. It is reciprocal. People readily respond to being loved. My friends helped me overcome my greatest adversary, alcohol, as I turned my life over to the care of God.

I had to respond to God’s love. I became more involved in the parish, such as being a lector and leading faith-

I love retirement. I am still active in ministry, but now I can choose what to get involved in. And I don’t have to be an administrator.

Since I have come to know God’s love, nothing frightens me. Sure, I can experience suffering and sorrow, but I’ve never lost trust in him as a result. My attempt is to imitate the confidence that Jesus showed in the Father. Beneath everything is the fact that he loves me.

Maybe my biggest disappointment is the “suspicion” that the church has encountered from people as a result of the sex abuse scandal. And realizing that we haven’t been honest with ourselves or with others.

Because the church is a human institution, we can embarrass ourselves. One person can affect everyone. On the other hand, we do have the sacrament of reconciliation for our sins.

Living on earth can be hell. Nevertheless, it is meant to be, in one sense, the beginning of heaven because Jesus has put the kingdom of God within us. Heaven begins here when we know the love of God and others. I’ve thought of writing a book about that. I already know the title – This is heaven. When did I die?

I am happiest when I witness God revealing his love to me or to someone else. Though I was a professional educator, I don’t know of a way to teach God’s unconditional love via rules, regulations or some model. It is manifested best when we live it or see it lived.

For more information on becoming a priest or deacon, log on to www.DioceseOfLansing.org.

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F A I T H

i n t e r v i e w

Jim: Winn, my high-school sweetheart, and I were blessed with a good life. We were the proud parents of five children and lived in a comfortable house in Brighton. I was a successful businessman with General Motors, and she was what some people might call “a church lady.” She was involved in Catholic activities at the parish, diocesan and national levels. Some of the other members at our church, St. Patrick’s, referred to me simply as Winn’s husband.

During our 39 years of marriage, we planned carefully for my retirement. We built a log cabin in southwest Michigan, near my alma mater, Notre Dame, and we had ambitious plans to travel. Those dreams were cut short.

Polymiosytis, an illness Winn had been battling for 10 years, flared up and she was hospitalized.

Nine days later, she passed away.

The doctors offered no explanation other than her immune system just couldn’t fight the disease. Her death was a tremendous loss to the church, our family and to her close friend, Marilyn.

Jim and Marilyn Rhadigan journeyed from widowhood to marriage

too soon for

C

oping with the loss of a spouse is one of the greatest challenges of the human experience. For some widowed people, struggling to continue through life alone – without a best friend and soul mate – is too much to bear.

Many fear loneliness and some fear ever loving as deeply again.

Jim Rhadigan experienced many of these feelings when he lost his wife, Winn. So did Marilyn Pence Rhadigan when she lost her husband, Jerry. But both made the decision to move beyond merely existing after their spouses’ deaths and to live the rest of their lives to the fullest. Through the intervention of special angels in heaven, they are achieving their goals – together.

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Marilyn: Jerry Pence, my highschool sweetheart, and I were married for 31 years. Like Jim and Winn, we also had five children.

Although he claimed no religion before becoming Catholic, Jerry was the person who taught me the difference between faith and religion.

I was deeply moved watching him and the other students in a Catholic inquiry class discover their faith and find ways to live it.

That experience inspired me to become active with our parish’s Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA) process and eventually I became coordinator. Jerry became the unofficial president of the social committee; he (jokingly) was known as King Wiener for cooking the hotdogs at our annual parish picnic.

One November morning, Jerry served with me as a eucharistic minister at St. Mary Magdalen. We

By Kimberly Laux | Photography by Tom Gennara

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We started dating. Since this was only two months after Winn’s death and two years after Jerry’s heart attack, you can imagine the comments we heard from people. I think most of the negativity stemmed from the fear that we would forget our spouses.

kissed during the sign of peace and then he left to drive our youngest daughter, Maggie, home from Mass.

On the way, he suffered a heart attack. I never imagined that would be our last kiss ...

Standing at the graveside of your spouse makes you want to jump in after them. Winn and I had gotten to know each other through the church. She was the one who took care of me when I lost Jerry.

Jim: So, when Winn was sick, Marilyn visited her. She was present while Father Tom Thompson performed the sacrament of the sick and was with our family shortly after she died.

Marilyn: Since I worked as a grief counselor and had been close with Winn, I decided to check up on Jim a few weeks after she passed away.

From our phone conversation, I could tell he was still having a difficult time.

Jim: To say I felt lonely was an understatement. My kids were supportive, but I couldn’t expect them to plan their lives around me.

Marilyn: We decided to meet face-to-face and talk over dinner.

During our conversation, we talked about the possibility of ever dating anyone again. I told him I needed to be spiritually, emotionally, intellectually and physically compatible with a person before getting into another relationship.

Jim: That night, I fell in love with Marilyn. Our dinner lasted four hours!

Marilyn: There was a definite mutual attraction.

Jim: We started dating. Since this was only two months after Winn’s death and two years after Jerry’s heart attack, you can imagine the comments we heard from people.

I think most of the negativity

stemmed from the fear that we would forget our spouses.

Marilyn: And that just wasn’t possible. They were the ones who helped mold us into the people we are today. You can’t really ever separate yourself from them. It is our belief that Winn and Jerry helped orchestrate us getting together. And when they’re not busy laughing at us, they are helping us along.

It is our belief Jim: After realizing we had fallen in that Winn and Jerry helped love, we decided to talk to Father orchestrate us Jake Foglio about some of our concerns. Was it too soon? Was it a getting together. rebound? He suggested we take our And when they’re not busy time, but reminded us that love is laughing at us, not planned, it happens when our they are helping hearts feel it.

We continued dating for a year. I us along. took a trip to Ireland and spent a lot of time in prayer. When I returned home, I went with Marilyn to Notre Dame to pick up Maggie from soccer camp. I proposed to Marilyn inside the Our Lady Chapel. She said yes.

We called the rectory of The Basilica of the Sacred Heart at Notre Dame and learned that there had been a cancellation for five months later (Dec. 4). Some people wait two years to get married there! We set up hotel reservations and found a restaurant to host the reception.

Within six hours, we had pretty much planned the wedding.

Marilyn: We were blessed with a beautiful day and all but one of our children (who’d just had a baby) were present for the ceremony.

Jim: But the day wasn’t just about us. We wanted to include Winn and Jerry’s presence too.

Marilyn: On the bottom of our chalice, a gift from St. Mary Magdalen Parish, where I was a pastoral minister, read the inscription “In memory of Winn and Jerry.” We believe that when you take the Eucharist, you receive not only

Jesus but also everyone with him.

Through holy Communion, we still feel united with them.

Jim: Our real work began after the ceremony. We had to confront the emotions – grief, acceptance, joy and reluctance – of our 10 children.

Some didn’t take long to share in our happiness; others slowly grew into it.

Marilyn: We’ve also had some scares. Jim was diagnosed with an esophageal hernia and came very close to death.

r e s o u r c e

During times of grief, we all need a shoulder to lean on. In many parishes, that can be found through the BeFrienders Ministry.

BeFriender ministers bring the caring presence of God and the community through a listening, compassionate presence, offering emotional and spiritual support.

For more information, contact your parish office, or visit www.diocese oflansing.org.

Jim: Fortunately, I’m doing better now and we’re living life to the fullest. We bought a condo in Boyne City, where we watch the beautiful sunsets over Lake Charlevoix.

Marilyn: Through our experience, we’ve learned to treasure every moment together – there’s nothing worth fighting about. It’s difficult for me to see couples at church who appear to be angry at each other. They barely make contact during the sign of peace. Little do they know that could be the last time they kiss or hold hands.

Jim: We feel truly blessed that we were given a second chance at marriage, love and happiness – and we believe our relationship serves as an example for other widowed persons.

It is possible to experience more than misery. Just because you were married does not mean your heart is not open to love anymore. One door may be closed, but the rest of your heart still lives on.

Click on www.FAITHmag.com for diocesan news and information.

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s p i r i t u a l

f i t n e s s

W

“You make me want to shout!”

edding celebrations moving from somber to celebration can sure be a blast! I have been to hundreds as a priest and have enjoyed them all. During one, I recall the bride and groom holding hands and jumping off the floor together to the song, You Make Me Want To Shout! I remember how popular the song was during my college days. It was played at most parties and people would jump and shout so much that the floor and house would shake. And at this wedding, the song captured the joy of a bride and groom who were in love.

I think most people would acknowledge that there are some things in life that really do make us want to shout for joy, and that love is probably the greatest of FAITH Magazine

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all. The original song written by the Isley Brothers in 1959 was trying to express the joy of romantic love – of

loving and being loved by another.

They wrote it on a whim, but later related how it came from their own

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There is no greater lover than God! When a person comes to glimpse a little bit of that love, one can certainly want to shout, dance or express that inner joy in countless ways.

experiences in church! Yes, believe it or not, church was the inspiration for You Make Me Want To Shout! And why not? There is no greater lover than God! When a person comes to glimpse a little bit of that love, one can certainly want to shout, dance or express that inner joy in countless ways. Scripture is filled with examples.

King David, when he found the Ark of the Covenant and was bringing it into Jerusalem, “came dancing before the Lord with abandon, as he and all the Israelites were bringing up the ark of the Lord with shouts of joy and to the sound of the horn.” (2 Sam 6:14-15) When Mary, the new Ark of the Covenant, came to Elizabeth, the baby in Elizabeth’s womb “leaped for joy.” (Lk 1:44) People also rejoiced and danced when God delivered them from evil.

When the waters covered pharaoh’s army at the Sea of Reeds in Exodus, the “prophetess Miriam, Aaron’s sister, took a tambourine in her hand, while all the women went out after her with tambourines, dancing; and she led them in the refrain: ‘Sing to the Lord, for he is gloriously triumphant; horse and chariot he has cast into the sea.’” (Ex 15:20-21)

When God healed a crippled man through Peter’s and John’s intercession in the Temple area, “He leaped up, stood, walked around, and went into the temple with them, walking and jumping and praising God.” (Acts 3:8) Others joined in the chorus.

There are times when loud and expressive praise of God flows like a river through a person.

It cannot be helped and should not be stopped. The apostles experienced this on Pentecost Sunday. When

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the Holy Spirit filled them, they began praising God so loudly that all the visitors to Jerusalem heard them in their own native tongues. People thought them to be drunk! And they were – drunk with the wine of the Holy Spirit! Many heard the good news, believed and were baptized.

The joy and praise of God’s people continues to flow through

There are times when loud and expressive praise of God flows like a river through a person.

Spiritual Exercise:

5 ways to find joy

1

Take some time to go through the Psalms, the Gospels or Letters in the New Testament (I would especially recommend Acts of the Apostles) and see how often you come across passages that express joy, praise and thanks to God. After reading these sections, meditate on the blessings in your life and speak out your praise of God. Pray: Holy Spirit of God’s love; Holy Spirit flowing from the heart of Jesus Christ, help me to offer praise to God. Loosen my lips that my mouth may speak your praises!

2

Another beautiful way to express gratitude to God is to be generous! As you have received in abundance, give in abundance.

I know of a person who was healed of cancer. In gratitude, she gave a large sum of money to help spread the Gospel.

I know of another who was very grateful for the education he received

r e s o u r c e

Looking for some spiritual music you can sing along with?

• Brian Flynn from St Mary Church in Westphalia, Michigan has composed some incredible songs about our faith. Go to www.catholicsound.com to listen and download.

• A local artist, Denis Bach, has a Web page up at www.

WorshipJesus. us. There are some free mp3 files you can download. They will lift you up and help you express the gratitude and joy we have in Christ.

the centuries to this very day. The source of this river of grace is the heart of Jesus Christ, and it continues to well up through the church in various expressions of joy, praise and thanksgiving to the Father.

How wonderful it is when we open our hearts to it and allow it to flow through us! It is a true meeting of the Holy Spirit. through Catholic schools, so he helped finance the building of a computer lab for his local Catholic elementary school. Perhaps you may have heard of Danny Thomas – a TV star during the 1950s and ’60s. At one point, he had only $7 in his pocket and was in despair.

He did not know whether to continue his struggles in show business or not. So one day, he knelt down in a Detroit church and asked St. Jude for help. Danny had heard that St. Jude was the patron saint of hopeless causes and he figured he definitely qualified for that. Later, when he became very successful, he gave thanks to God by starting St. Jude Children’s Hospital in Memphis. It has helped countless children who might not otherwise get medical care. A generous heart is a grateful heart.

3

Listen to Christian music and if you can, sing along to it. I know some folks who turn up the volume while driving so they do not have to hear themselves. There are many fantastic songs out there by Christian and Catholic artists.

4

Go to a church prayer meeting. There are many prayer groups around that foster more expressive praise of God.

5

Some may have trouble with the emotional aspects of showing gratitude. Don’t be alarmed. The bottom-line best way to express gratitude to Jesus is to live like him. In doing so, you will be making heaven itself “shout” for joy. – Father Bill Ashbaugh

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A snapshot of new life

a gift to celebrate the birth of a baby

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c u l t u r e

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experience one of those difficult parenting moments as I watch my 2-year-old daughter purposely dump a tub of hot cocoa mix all over herself and my kitchen floor. Infuriated inside, I rush over to clean up the mess before she runs off to track it all over the rest of the house. Half an hour later, after a new outfit and mopped floor, I am feeling totally inconvenienced, annoyed and overwhelmed. It is then that I take a good look at her and remind myself of the positive; of the humorous and loving things she does. I also think of what we receive as parents as we work to raise her. Most importantly, I remind myself of what a huge blessing she is – a gift from God that brings joy to our life every day – spilled cocoa mix and all.

Here is a fun and simple project we can do to encourage and thank all mothers and fathers for choosing life.

Yet as a Catholic, being a parent is more than just cleaning up messes. It is an awesome responsibility with which God entrusts us – to lead our little ones down a path to holiness. That is a pretty huge task, since they’ll be faced with significant outside pressures to the contrary. While it’s easy to get caught up in decorating a nursery, buying cute clothes and reading bedtime stories, we need to recognize the job ahead of setting a good Christian example as moms and dads. We need to remember our primary responsibility of teaching them what they will need to one day get to heaven.

Are you expecting a baby or know of anyone else who is? Do you know of anyone struggling with the responsibility of being a parent? Or perhaps, are you aware of anyone in a crisis pregnancy? These mothers are faced with the challenge of choosing a difficult “right thing” amidst a torrent of fears, anxieties and social pressures that obscure the beauty of their unborn child.

For this project, you will need: Wooden toy blocks (can be purchased unfinished at an arts and crafts store) Acrylic craft paint in colors of your choice Paintbrush Hot-glue gun and glue sticks 18-gauge craft wire Wire-cutting pliers Needle-nose pliers Hammer Puncture tool or ice pick Wooden dowel (½ - ¾ inch in diameter) (A thick magic marker or broom handle will work also.)

Here is a fun and simple project we can do to encourage and thank all mothers and fathers for choosing life.

It is a photo holder that is designed to remind us of the blessing and responsibility each child is. When we look at that photo of a little one, let it remind us that it’s not just a snapshot of a cute baby or smiling child but a precious soul to take care of and lead back to God.

Begin by painting the letters on the blocks in alternating colors of choice. Set aside to dry.

Hot-glue the blocks together, staggering them slightly to give some dimension. Set aside so glue hardens.

Using your needle-nose pliers, make a small loop at the end of the wire and wrap around the wooden dowel twice. Remove from dowel and bend the rest of the wire to create the stem of the photo holder. Repeat this to create five more stems and then trim to different lengths.

Make a hole in the top (center) of the blocks using your puncture tool (or ice pick) and hammer. Apply hot glue to the end of each wire and push into holes in the blocks. Let glue harden.

More ideas: • Get a group of friends together to make several to donate to a crisis pregnancy center.

• Going to a baby shower? They make a great gift to go along with an outfit.

• Personalize it with the baby’s name.

By Michelle Sessions DiFranco | Photography by Phillip Shippert

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l o c a l

n e w s

New catechism available

what’s happening in our Catholic Schools St. Mary Catholic School unveils sports logo St. Mary Catholic School in Pinckney has unveiled a newly designed logo to represent its sports program.

The school’s team name is the Wildcats. “St. Mary enjoys a tradition of athletic success and good sportsmanship. We created a logo that conveys our school pride and enthusiasm for our sports program,” said principal Suzanne Cowdrey.

Telethon airs in support of Lansing area Catholic schools The CEA Telethon, sponsored by the Greater Lansing Catholic Education Foundation, aired March 3 on channel 18. The hosts of the telethon were Sheri Jones, Fr. Joe Krupp and Michael Marshall.

Local students named essay contests winners Three students from St. Robert Bellarmine School in Flushing have been named local winners in the 38th annual America & Me Essay Contest, sponsored by Farm Bureau Insurance. The first-, second- and third-place awards for their school went to Sheena Gilbert, Are’Annah Corcoran and Katie Pung. Gilbert’s first-place essay now advances to the state-level competition, from which the top 10 essays in Michigan will be selected. The winners will be announced in April. The topic of the essay contest was My Personal Hero.

Boots with a Bonus program helps the needy of Lansing St. Thomas Aquinas School in East Lansing and Lansing Catholic Central High School are working together to gather boots for the homeless. Terri Kuhnmuench and her family became aware of the plight of Lansing’s 1,000 homeless and began the program in 2005. The boots – with a bonus of a small toy or candy – will be donated to the temporary housing facility Loaves and Fishes.

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n August 2006, the United States bishops released The United States Catholic Catechism for Adults. It is an American adaptation of The Catechism of the Catholic Church, as called for in the introduction to that document by Pope John Paul II. Our diocese was heavily involved in the consultations that went into the various drafts of this new United States catechism.

Each chapter, approximately 10-15 pages in length, begins with an engaging story of faith from the life of a famous person or saint from North America. This is followed by the teaching of the chapter, some questions with answers taken from The Catechism of the Catholic Church, and a section on how our American culture either assists or challenges the teaching in the chapter. Then there is a series of questions for discussion, some summary statements of the doctrine covered in the chapter and a section for meditation and prayer.

Other valuable features include a lengthy glossary; a scriptural index, which allows an individual to check any set of Sunday readings to see if they are cited in this catechism; and an extensive topical index.

Parishes are using parts of this new catechism for weekly Lenten series, with parents during the religious education sessions for their children, as a resource for RCIA teams, and with catechumens and candidates in the RCIA process. Parish program leaders are finding this catechism more readable and usable for the average person.

Copies can be purchased from Catholic book stores, major book stores, and on amazon.com.

– Pete Ries is director of evangelization and adult education for the Diocese of Lansing.

Lansing hosts catechetical conference On Jan. 11-12, the Diocese of Lansing hosted a regional gathering of catechetical leaders from all the dioceses in Michigan.

Discussions were held on The United States Catholic Catechism for Adults, released last year. Father David Buersmeyer from the Archdiocese of Detroit spoke

Father David Buersmeyer

about models of ecclesiology in the church today, relating them to the theologians Karl Rahner and Hans Urs von Balthasar.

Want to list an event in FAITH? Or share news from your parish? E-mail esolsburg@faithpu

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c o m m u n i t y

Sharing the Wealth The Pastoral Planning Office has seen a wealth of good ideas come to life as the work of pastoral planning goes on in our parishes. We have been featuring one of these ideas each month via the “Sharing the Wealth” link on the diocesan Web page. This month, we highlight the Rosary Garden at St. Joseph Shrine, Brooklyn.

Visit www.dioceseoflansing.org to find out more.

Siena Heights University to offer nursing program Responding to what has been called a nationwide crisis, President Sister Peg Albert, OP, Ph.D., announced that Siena Heights will begin a nursing program.

Although not finalized, Albert said Siena is considering a degree completion program from registered nurse to a bachelor of science in nursing degree, as well as a more traditional four-year BSN program. The first RN to BSN nursing students could be enrolled as early as the 2007-08 school year. For more information on nursing or any other program at Siena Heights, please call 1.800.521.7180 or visit www.sienaheights.edu.

things to do A photo exhibit by Ryan Spencer Reed will be displayed May 2 to June 14 at Ann Arbor District Library. The exhibit, Hands of a Displaced Sudan, is sponsored by St. Francis of Assisi, St. Mary’s Student Parish, Temple Beth Israel, St. Thomas the Apostle and more. The exhibit is free and open to the public during regular library hours.

Enlighten your spirit and strengthen your faith at the Spring into Praise Conference presented by Youth to Youth Catholic evangelization. Featuring high-school chaplains and speakers Fr. Joe Krupp and Fr. Geoff Rose. The conference is open to all ages and will take place at Mt. Zion Catholic Pastoral Center in Flushing, March 17. Cost is $15 per person; please call 810.639.7175 or email mtzion@ centurytel.net for more information.

Heart’s Home, an international Catholic organization committed to promoting a culture of compassion, is currently accepting applications for volunteers. Young Catholics interested in this opportunity are invited to visit the Web site at www. heartshomeusa.org or contact the office at 718.901.1276.

At the Weber Center: • Living the Paschal Mystery – from ashes to Pentecost April 2, 9 a.m. - 4:30 p.m.

• Living mindfully throughout the day April 20-22 Call 517.266.4000 for more information information, please contact Janene at 734.429.7754 or visit her Web site: www.prayer-in-motion.com.

Catholic Vacation Bible School program available A Catholic Vacation Bible School is available at www.growingwiththesaints.com. The VBS package includes five days of lessons with opening prayer, Bible memory verse, games, skits, poems and songs.

Local Catholic music publisher growing april café events

Songs in His Presence, based at Christ the King Parish in Ann Arbor, released its third CD in early 2006, Held by Love. The band’s albums are played on EWTN and were final nominees in several categories in the 2006 United Catholic Music and Video Awards. Printed music, sound samples and ordering information are available at www.SongsInHisPresence.com.

The workshop Praying with Body, Mind and Spirit: Moving through Easter will take place Sat., April 21 from 9:30 a.m.-4:00 p.m. at the Manresa Jesuit Retreat House in Bloomfield Hills. The cost is $45 and includes lunch; for more

At St. Francis Retreat Center

On April 27, from 9:30 a.m.2:30 p.m., Dr. Susan Smalley, MSU Extension, will lead a grant-proposal writing workshop. For more information, please visit www.stfrancis.ws.

The St. Francis Retreat Center in DeWitt will host large group conferences this spring.

On March 21, from 9 a.m.3 p.m., Lynn M. Levo, CSJ, Ph.D. will speak on Internet porn, cyber-relating and cybersex – a pastoral response.

Those who work in church ministry are invited to experience Sabbath Time Retreats May 22-24. The cost is $50 and includes two nights and four meals at the retreat center in DeWitt. For more information, please contact Mary Tardif at mtardif@stfrancis.ws or call 1.800.669.8321, ext. 22.

St. Agnes Parish, Flint is hosting an exhibit of the Shroud of Turin on Holy Saturday, April 7, from noon until 5 p.m. The presentation features frontal and dorsal images of the reputed burial cloth of Jesus.

Panels describing the history and details of the shroud will follow the stations of the cross throughout the church. For more information, call 810.785.3483.

The hit movie, The Nativity Story, will be released on home DVD March 20. This inspirational film is the tale of Mary and Joseph’s extraordinary faith and love.

The Professional Pastoral Ministers Association and Sustaining Pastoral Excellence will present Rekindling the Flame: Nurturing the Spirit in Ministry on Friday, April 20. The conference will take place from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. at the retreat center. The cost is $25 for the public, no charge for P.P.M.A. members. For more information, please call 734.429.7754 or visit www.ppma.parishesonline.com.

Please visit St. Francis Retreat Center online at www.stfrancis.ws.

aithpublishingservice.com. The deadline for the June issue is April 11.

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April Readings Sunday, April 1 Palm Sunday Is 50:4-7 Ps 22:8-9,1718,19-20,23-24 (2a) Phil 2:6-11 Lk 22:14-23:56 or 23:1-49 Thursday, April 5 Holy Thursday Is 61:1-3a,6a,8b-9 Ps 89:2122,25,27 Rv 1:5-8 Lk 4:16-21 Friday, April 6 Good Friday Is 52:13-53:12 Ps 31:2,6,1213,15-16,17,25 Heb 4:14-16,5:7-9 Jn 18:1-19:42 Saturday, April 7 Holy Saturday, The Easter Vigil Gen 1:1-2:2 or 1:1,26-31a Ps 104:12a,5-6,10,1214,24,35c or Ps 33:4-7,1213,20,22 Gen 22:1-18 or 22:1-2,9a,1013,15-18 Ps 16:5,8-11 Exod 14:15-15:1 (Ps) Exod 15:16,17-18 Isa 54:5-14 Ps 30:2,4-6,1112a,13b Isa 55:1-11 (Ps) Isa 12:23,4bcd,5-6 Bar 3:9-15,32-4:4 Ps 19:8-11 Ezek 36:1617a,18-28 Pss 42:3,5bcd;

43:3-4 or, when baptism is celebrated, (Ps) Isa 12:2-3,4bcd,5-6 or Ps 51:12-15,1819 Rom 6:3-11 Ps 118:1-2,6ab17,22-23 Luke 24:1-12 Sunday, April 8 Easter Sunday Acts 10:34a,37-43 Ps 118:1-2,1617,22-23 Col 3:1-4 or 1Cor 5:6b-8 Jn 20:1-9(42) Lk 24:1-12 or at a later mass 24:13-35 Sunday, April 15 Second Sunday of Easter/Divine Mercy Sunday Acts 5:12-16 Ps 118:2-4,1315,22-24 Rv 1:9-11a,1213,17-19 Jn 20:19-31 Sunday, April 22 Third Sunday of Easter Acts 5:27-32, 40b-41 Ps 30:2,4,5-6,1112,13(2a) Rv 5:11-14 Jn 21:1-19 or 21:1-14 Sunday, April 29 Good Shepherd Sunday Acts 13:14, 43-52 Ps 100:12,3,5(3c) Rv 7:9,14b-17 Jn 10:27-30

w o r d

Pleasure, happiness, joy

What’s the difference?

Pleasure is simply feeling gratified.

But as nice as pleasure may be, life is not about simply experiencing it. There’s more to life than pleasure.

I

magine yourself savoring a banana split sundae – smooth, cool, creamy vanilla ice cream with warm hot fudge slathered all over, and sliced bananas along with some crunchy chopped walnuts. Mmmmm – yummy! Such pleasure!

Are you happy? Well, yes, for the next few minutes. After that? Well ...

Is your heart filled with joy? No, actually it isn’t.

Now, imagine that your boyfriend has asked you to go out to a movie or to a dance with him. Or imagine that your girlfriend has told you that she really likes you and wants to be with you more often.

Are you happy? You bet! Filled with pleasure? Well, you’re experiencing something more than just pleasure. Joy? Well, maybe – but just for a while.

Now imagine that you’ve finished college and have a job.

You’ve dated quite a few different people but just haven’t found “The One.” Then it happens. The love of your life enters and captures your heart. Your thoughts, feelings, emotions, daydreams and all of your being is fully engaged with the one you love.

And then it happens – one of you “pops the question” and proposes marriage. Do you feel pleasure? Pleasure is too paltry a word to describe what’s happening to you. Are you happy? Well, of course.

But you are much more than happy – you are filled with joy. Joy is happiness taken to a deeper and more profound level.

Pleasure is simply feeling gratified. But as nice as pleasure may be, life is not about simply experiencing it. There’s more to life than pleasure.

Happiness? Well, let’s face it, happiness isn’t necessarily something lasting in our lives. It’s far from being permanent. Moreover it just comes upon you. You can’t buy it, earn it, or achieve it. Happiness is a by-product of the way you live.

Joy, however, is an intense happiness and a complete fulfillment that is definitely deeper and more profound than pleasure or happiness. There’s something lasting, something permanent that comes with joy.

Joy is found only in relationships – relationships with others who know you and who love you for who you are.

Joy is found in giving happiness to one you love. Joy is found in sharing your very inner self with one you love. Joy is deep, lasting, profound and hopefully permanent.

Joy is the confident security that you are loved forever, no matter what.

Heaven? It’s the ecstatic joy of sharing love with God along with those you love forever and ever. – Father Charles Irvin

Answer to Bible Quiz (p 13): Simon Magus

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DSA Weekend 2007: Saturday, April 21 and Sunday, April 22

notes:

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