May 2011

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DIOCESE

OF

LANSING

www.FAITHmag.com I May 2011 I $2.50

How can I avoid recommending my friend for a job?

What is social justice?

What if you are divorced?

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FAITH Magazine / May 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

contents 6 yourlife The Magazine of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing

Most Reverend Earl Boyea PUBLISHER

Rev. Dwight Ezop

EDITOR AND CHAIRMAN

May 2011 • Volume 12: Issue 4

Patrick M. O’Brien

PRESIDENT/CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER

Elizabeth Martin Solsburg

DIRECTOR OF CUSTOM PUBLISHING/ EDITORIAL DIRECTOR

table of contents

6 work life How can I avoid recommending my friend for a job?

8 parenting journey I lost a child and Mothers’ Day is hard.

10 culture The dish on working together

Cynthia Vandecar

MARKETING MANAGER

12 yourfaith

Patrick Dally

ART DIRECTOR

Lynne Hsu

GRAPHIC DESIGNER/WEBMASTER

Jillane Job

EDITORIAL ASSISTANT

InnerWorkings

PRINT MANAGEMENT

Cari Ann DeLamielleure | Michelle Sessions DiFranco | Doug Culp | Dcn. Tom and JoAnne Fogle | Marybeth Hicks | Rev. Charles Irvin | Paul Jarzembowski | Rev. Joseph Krupp | Dr. Gelasia Marquez | Dr. Cathleen McGreal | Andrew Peltcs | Sister Ann Shields | Todd Schulz

12 in the know with Father Joe What is social justice?

14 theology 101 The Gloria 13 spiritual fitness How can we be more like Mary?

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Bob Patten | Chris Sushynski CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATORS

FAITHTM (USPS 019993) is a publication of FAITH Catholic, Diocese of Lansing, 1500 E. Saginaw St., Lansing, MI 48906-5550. FAITHTM is a membership publication of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing and is published monthly except for February and August. To purchase a subscription, log on to FAITHmag.com. If you have a change of address, please contact your parish. Periodicals postage paid in Lansing, MI and at additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to FAITHTM, 1500 E. Saginaw St., Lansing MI 48906-5550. ©2011 FAITH Catholic. FAITH is a trademark of FAITH Catholic.

Most Rev. Carl F. Mengeling FOUNDING PUBLISHER

Rev. Charles Irvin FOUNDING EDITOR

For advertising information:

T. Gennara

Call 517.853.7600

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19 what do I know?

David Eich, author of Happiness, Only in the Next: 7 Choices for Eternal Life 20 our story A match made in heaven … and ordered online 22 cover story Courtship in the 21st century

Lynne and Anthony met and fell in love the “new-fashioned” way – online. Find out how they courted on a Catholics-only dating site.

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22 T. Gennara

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS

19 yourstories

Holli Ann Studios

Carlson Productions | Tom Gennara | James Luning (cover) | Don Quillan

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Derek Melot

PROOFREADING

Liturgical calendar: Divine Mercy Sunday May 1 | St. Athanasius, bishop and doctor of the Church May 2 | Feast of Ss. Philip and James, apostles May 3

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from the editors

Editing in the age of technology

I

’ve been writing for and editing FAITH for about 10 years. As I look back across those years, I’m amazed at how the process of putting words on paper and editing those words has changed. copy of the magazine. This was the last opportunity to review and correct anything before ink started hitting paper on the printing presses. My, how things have changed since then.

Today, I rarely have a printed copy of anything to hold in my hands as the magazine is being assembled and readied for print.

What used to be a pen-to-paper process for writing and editing has become mostly digital. I can sit at a computer screen pretty much anywhere and do what I used to do during my weekly visits to FAITH’s offices. Between email and the Web, I have the same kind of access to whatever is in production. My red pen has morphed into a computer mouse and the paper it writes on is really just a collection of electrons displayed on a screen. When ev-

saint of the month

St. Athanasius The great defender of the faith

Athanasius was born around 293 in the culturally diverse city of Alexandria, Egypt.

As a young child, Bishop Alexander observed Athanasius imitating the sacrament of Baptism with his friends.

Later, the bishop would invite a welleducated and cultured Athanasius to be his

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FAITH Magazine / May 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

the variety of demands on my time, both for the parish and for FAITH. But I also miss the more “old fashioned” way of producing the magazine – a way that was a bit more timeconsuming, messier and more personal.

As we continue to email, blog and Tweet our way into an increasingly electronic future, we should not forget that God has called us first and foremost to be human beings who live in face-to-face relationship with one another. The technology we use should make life simpler, not less personal. It should encourage and support dignified communication, not anesthetize our ability to be courteous to one another in spoken or written word. Technology, when properly employed, should help us to become more human, not less.

And so our journey in FAITH continues.

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When FAITH was just getting started in 2000 and 2001, I used to make a weekly visit to our offices. Each week’s visit was slightly different, based on where that month’s magazine was in its production cycle.

Once every month, I would meet with staff as we planned a future issue. Often we would share stories over doughnuts and coffee, brainstorming together, dreaming up new ways to tell stories of faith. Some weeks, I would sit at a desk and review rough copy for each story. This meant reviewing actual pages, printed on real paper, with trusty red pen in hand, making corrections as needed.

Other weeks, I would see and edit a printed layout of the entire magazine. Finally, once each month, I would see the “proof”

erything is tweaked, finalized and ready, those electrons get sent directly to a printing press, which produces the magazine that you are holding in your hands. These electronic advances in magazine creation and production, placed in the hands of an incredibly talented and dedicated staff, make it possible for FAITH to partner with a number of dioceses across the United States to produce editions that can be easily tailored to the needs of each diocese. The current process we use is efficient, flexible, dependable and helps us to produce a high-quality magazine. I also readily admit there is no way that we could do what we do today at FAITH without it.

Yet I find that I miss the original process of paper, pens, and more personal contact. I certainly appreciate the fact that our current production process helps me to more easily balance

Father Dwight Ezop is editor of FAITH Magazine and pastor of the Catholic Community of St. Jude. E-mail: editor@FAITHmag.com.

secretary. At the Council of Nicaea (325 A.D.), Athanasius argued intensely against the denial of Christ’s Divinity, a growing viewpoint led by Arius.

Athanasius would become bishop, and his defense of the Incarnation would cause his frequent exile as the Roman Emperor was influenced by Arianism. He was eventually found innocent of all allegations that were used to justify his banishments.

Athanasius was the first to identify the same 27 books of the New Testament that are in use today.

Athanasius celebrates Baptism.

– Chris Sushynski

St. Damien Joseph de Veuster of Moloka’i, priest May 10 | Ss. Nereus and Achilleus, martyrs; St. Panc

FAITH by the numbers

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What’s that funny little box?

I

f you have a smart phone, you may recognize these little tags – point your phone at them, and they take you right to a linked website. It’s an easy way to check something out online while you are sitting with your print magazine. You’ll see a few of these in this issue – just point for more information about the stories*. don’t have a smart phone, we’ve provided the website addresses for you.

Welcome to another step on FAITH’s digital road!

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If you’ve never seen these before, use your phone’s browser to go to http://gettag. mobi and download the software to get you started. It just takes a few seconds.

If you

*Data rates may apply.

Elizabeth Solsburg is editorial director of FAITH Magazine. She can be reached at esolsburg@FAITHcatholic.com

At the Council of Nicaea.

Nearly 30% of new couples meet online.

The No. 1 way

couples meet is through friends.

The No. 2 way couples meet is online.

The couples who report the highest relationship satisfaction met at church.

Source: Time 8/17/10, Stanford University, How Couples Meet and Stay Together Survey

We asked readers at www.FAITHmag.com how they met their spouses. The No. 1 way: (26.52%) Friends introduced us

He was frequently exiled by Rome.

Editing copy of Athanasius.

cras, martyr May 12 | Our Lady of Fatima May 13 | Feast of St. Matthias, apostle May 14 | St. John I, pope and martyr May 18 | St. Bernardine of Siena, priest May 20

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8 parenting journey

9 marriage matters

P. Shippert

yourlife

inside:

10 culture

work life

How can I avoid

Q

One of my close friends has been out of work for a while. She just found out that we have a couple of job openings at my office and has asked me to forward her resume to management – along with a good word. The problem is, I don’t think she’d be very good at either position and I’m not comfortable recommending her. How can I avoid losing a friend without compromising my professional reputation?

a

I understand your natural reluctance to say something to your friend.

Preserving your friendship and your professional reputation are both essential. Challenging as such a situation may be, if you are to love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:39), you simply treat your friend as you would want to be treated. Ask yourself,

“Would I want my friend to candidly provide perspective on my professional strengths and improvement opportunities or would I want my friend to avoid the conversation?” Those questions lead to an easy answer for most of us.

However, my guess is that many people in your situation would submit the resume without a recommendation

how to have

proper pride Have you ever heard of “proper pride”? It may be the antidote for the sin of pride. It means “to multiply in the lives of others those talents we receive from God.” We are accountable for what we do with what we’ve been given, thereby doing the

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work of God. How do we have proper pride?

• Consider how you can use your specific gifts to help others: are you a good cook who could make soup kitchen meals tastier? A gifted

FAITH Magazine / May 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

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recommending my friend for a job?

and avoid revealing that detail.

It’s the easy way out, but not a particularly honest or “friendly” approach, is it?

Therefore, let’s remain focused on how you would want to be treated. Likely, you would want a sincere friend of yours to find a quiet place to have a discussion, perhaps at a coffee shop when things aren’t crowded. That’s easy. Next, it is likely you would want your friend to begin by saying something such as, “Jan, as a candidate for these jobs, you have some pros and cons, and I am going to offer some feedback from an insider’s perspective.” Explain the job requirements and tell her about her pros and cons as you see her candidacy. Finally, ask her candidly if she sees herself being successful.

If she’s self-aware enough, she may realize that she isn’t a good fit. If you need to continue, you now have a direct opportunity to

Nick Synko is a professional career and workplace issues coach. For more information, visit SynkoAssociates.com and CareersThroughFaith.org. provide some constructive feedback. As you are doing so, just be certain to include ample time focusing on the positive skills or potential that you also see.

Finally, if you don’t believe you and your friend have a strong enough relationship for this conversation, then save the friendship and your professional reputation by submitting the resume without the recommendation and let the chips fall where they may. But then ask yourself if this person is really a M Dav eet “close friend.” on p id Eich age 19

living a joyful life listener who could visit a nursing home? Everyone has talents – it is proper pride to discover them and use them for God’s purpose.

• Are you blessed with

material wealth? Can you use it to help others build up their talents?

Remember that Jesus encourages us not to hide our light under a bushel!

David Eich’s new book, Happiness: Only in the Next, is available now at www.FAITHmag.com

St. Christopher Magallanes, priest and his companions, martyrs, May 21 | St. Mary Magdale

morality every day As we deal with end-of-life issues, we are often confronted with an overwhelming amount of information and advice during a very stressful time. FAITH offers some practical information that follows the teaching of the Catholic Church – take some time to plan now, in order to make sure your wishes, and God’s, are being followed.

Protect yourself

by designating a patient advocate

I

Ruth Koelling, LMSW CLiniCaL SoCiaL WoRKeR

FamilyWorks

455 E. Eisenhower, Suite 120 | Ann Arbor, MI 48108 RKoelling@yahoo.com | (734) 730-5163

f you were to become incapacitated tomorrow , who would you want to make your medical decisions for you?

Your spouse? Adult child? Parish priest?

Just as important, how would the hospital staff know to look to that person if you couldn’t communicate? Giving thought to these issues now – and acting on them now – can mean the difference between life and death.

This isn’t just for seniors or those with serious illnesses –everyone over the age of 18 should sign a carefully drafted Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care. In Michigan, this is also known as a Patient Advocate Designation. This document allows you to designate your patient advocate – a trusted relative or friend who will make medical decisions on your behalf in the event you become unconscious, unable to communicate, or are otherwise unable to participate in your own medical decisions.

Many people have an attorney draft this document for them, but there are other options available. The Patients Rights Council (www. patientsrightscouncil.org ) offers one called a “Protective Medical Decisions Document” (PMDD). It has been approved by Catholic organizations and ethicists, and complies with state advance directive statutes.

After the document is executed, it’s important that you talk to your patient advocate about your wishes. Talk about your beliefs and your desires regarding medical care. What do you think about efforts to sustain your life, Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) orders, organ donation? Remember, your advocate is the person you’re going to be trusting with your life. You can establish guidelines for your advocate to follow within the document itself (e.g., “My life is not to be ended by euthanasia or assisted suicide.”) that will serve as protection for you. This is not, however, a substitute for actually speaking frankly with your patient advocate regarding your wishes.

This document is not the same as a “Living Will,” which is not recognized in every state.

A Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care is the best way of ensuring you are protected and receive appropriate and timely medical care and treatment.

Jason Negri, Esq. is an attorney and Assistant Director of the Patients Rights Council. www.patientsrightscouncil.org or 800.958.5678.

Psychotherapy with Catholic values

maximize your business potential with one of mid-Michigan’s largest magazines

Contact Bruce Everett to learn more about advertising in FAITH Phone: 517.853.7650 | E-mail: beverett@faithcatholic.com | www.FAITHmag.com

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The 10 Commandments on DVD and Blu-ray A fully restored classic in a six-disc Blu-ray/DVD combo pack. Features more than an hour of bonus material, a commemorative book, and the 1923 silent film version.

“Like” FAITHmag on Facebook and win a free commemorative edition! A random selection will be made from all facebook users who have “liked” faithmag by May 15.

en de’Pazzi, virgin May 25 | St. Philip Neri, priest May 26 | St. Augustine of Canterbury, bishop May 27 | Feast of the Visitation of the Blessed Virgin Mary May 31

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parenting journey

I lost a child, and Mothers’ Day is hard.

Can’t they avoid talking about it at church?

Q a

I was in church on Mothers’ Day and the priest talked about motherhood in the homily. Then he asked all the mothers to stand for a blessing at the end. We lost our only child a couple of years ago and this is so painful for me. Don’t you think the Church should be more sensitive on a day that is so difficult for so many people and just not bring it up?

Once, when we were driving, my grandma explained the difference between displaying blue or gold stars during World War II. The stars were long gone, but she knew how many there had been in each window. Her home had three blue stars for members serving in the military and they remained blue. But, one day, the lone blue star in a window down the street was covered with gold. That young soldier had died. Women gathered on that front porch of the home mourning together. Like Mary, mothers carry these memories in their hearts; they hold them there for a lifetime.

If you can, stand for your blessing.

Spend time in prayer with the Blessed Mother.

Q

A friend of mine recently had a miscarriage, and I don’t know what to say to her. I’m afraid talking about this will just make her sadder. Can you help? ing loss for both parents.

No words, no set of phrases or lines – not even the text of the commercial sympathy cards – can substitute your presence there, while she is dealing with the personal reactions that follow a loss.

FAITH Magazine / May 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

what gets my goat

My suggestion is to show your friend that you care and that you are there for her.

Spend time listening to her while she is talking about her feelings, when she is crying or having an emotional outburst – because crying and emotional outbursts are the first steps toward healing.

Pray with her, show her the love of Christ for her. She will be grateful to you for the rest of her life.

S. Kendrick

8

Mothers’ Day is difficult for those who want to be parents. In many parishes, women who love others with a mother’s heart – such as aunts and godmothers, teachers and friends – are invited to stand and be blessed.

Dr. Cathleen McGreal is a psychology professor and certified spiritual advisor.

and I don’t know what to say

Throughout our lives, we continually confront crises – some expected and some that hit us out of the blue. A miscarriage is one of those unexpected crises – and it is an intensely sad experience and extremely devastat-

Pray for others whose hearts ache on Mothers’ Day.

Perhaps pondering these verses will help you in your distress: “When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, behold, your son.’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Behold, your mother.’ And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.” (John 19:26-2) Your future has

My friend just had a miscarriage

a

changed completely since your child’s life gave a particular focus to your own and a timeline to your expectations. Contact the funeral home to see if there is a parental support group. Check with your parish to see if there is a bereavement ministry or a special ministry for parents who have lost children.

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You will always be a mother. When you pray each day for your child, you pray as mom. The heartbreaking part is that you don’t get to go through all the developmental

changes: moving through grades at school, discerning a vocation, seeing talents blossom. But you don’t need those experiences to be a parent. You are a parent. Let God’s love surround you during the blessing. Have your husband and close friends sit beside you so that you feel their warmth and support.

Dr. Gelasia Marquez is a psychologist and family counselor.

She

SayS:

“Smoking is a deal-breaker.”

Barb says: I recently found a pack of cigarettes in Mike’s jacket. I am really upset – my grandfather and uncle died of lung cancer and this is a “deal-breaker” for me.

I always told Mike I wouldn’t marry a smoker.

M

“Marriage shouldn’t have deal-breakers.”

do they do?

if those patterns were learned in their early developmental years. The addict tends to rationalize his or her actions in an attempt to legitimize and justify discussions around the dinner table or parthem (“It is my body” or “I thought there ticipating together in a hobby may help. The were no deal-breakers,” for example). key is to re-channel The rationalizing the stress. usually makes no Addictive besense except to the haviors usually addict.

Barb and Mike need to need assistance to Barb and Mike discuss what the parovercome – they need to discuss ticular stress Mike is tend to overrule what the particular experiencing and how our good sense stress Mike is expethey both could help and have a powerriencing and how ful magnetic pull they both could in reducing the stress on our human help in reducing the – remember that in weaknesses. Mike stress – remember a sacramental marshould ask the that in a sacramenriage helping your Holy Spirit for tal marriage helping spouse comes before grace to fight the your spouse comes self-interest. addictive attraction before self-interest. and to choose good In most cases, stress over evil. It is wise can be minimized to remember the when both husadmonishment from Romans 14, “If your band and wife share in finding a rembrother is being hurt by what you eat, edy that will work toward lessening your conduct is no longer in accord with behaviors that are not conducive to love. …

Let us then pursue what leads to a life-giving marriage. Simple things peace and to building up one another.” like evening walks together, short

your marriage matters

T. Gennara

A marital relationship is based on covenantal love: trust, honesty, commitment and care for your spouse. Barb has a right to be concerned about Mike starting to smoke again – not only because of the impact to his health, but also because of what second-hand smoke can do to hers.

Barb should share with Mike how his smoking again will affect “his and her” health and focus less on the relatives who have already died. This may help Mike understand the severity of his actions. It is not unusual for a person to revert to addictive behaviors when under stress, especially

SayS:

Mike says: I know smoking is bad for me. And I did quit before Barb and I got married. But I’ve been under a lot of stress lately and picked it up again. It calms me down – and it is my body after all, not Barb’s. I can’t believe she considers this a “deal-breaker”; I thought marriage meant there were no deal-breakers.

What

ike is correct: in a sacramental marriage there should not be any deal-breakers. However, addictive behaviors that are harmful and dangerous to either spouse border on unacceptability.

he

Deacon Tom Fogle and JoAnne Fogle help prepare couples for marriage.

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culture

Theondish working together

A

s a wife and mom, I find that sacrifice can be broken down into two categories. The first is the kind that is solely for the benefit of your spouse.

Whether large or small, it is very selfless. Like when I forfeit the TV remote so he can change from HGTV, which I love, to People Caught On Tape Hurting Themselves By Doing Stupid Things or whatever it’s called, which he loves. Or, conversely, when he forgoes guy-time with his friend whom he hasn’t seen in months to help me with a project that I know he wishes I had not begun.

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FAITH Magazine / May 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

Photography by Philip Shippert

Spanish paella

In a paella pan (or large sauté pan or wok), heat 1 tablespoon olive oil over medium-high heat. Sauté the chorizo and chicken until browned. Remove and set aside for later.

In the same pan, add 1-2 tablespoons (more) oil and sauté peppers, onions and parsley for 5-6 minutes (on medium-high heat). Add tomatoes and cook until peppers are tender and onions slightly caramelize. Fold in the rice, crushed red pepper and garlic, and stir until the grains are well coated. Add the chicken stock and saf-

fron. Give mixture a quick stir and bring to boil. Simmer for 15-20 minutes, carefully moving pan around until the rice absorbs most of the liquid. Add the chorizo and chicken. Add clams, followed by shrimp and scallops (in that order/waiting about a minute between each ingredient). At this point, you can cover and cook for an additional 8-10 minutes or when the clams (or mussels) have opened. Gently fold in peas and continue to simmer until rice looks fluffy and moist.

Serve with lemon wedges and a garnish of parsley.

sacrificing together for the benefit t Mee e’s of others offers e h ll Mic ly on some immediate i fam 20 gratification. I e pag encourage you to try this incredible dish sometime. And if you can tackle its preparation with your spouse or a family member for others to enjoy, it can be a labor of love that will Michelle DiFranco is a benefit your relationship, as designer and the busy mom well as your palates. Enjoy! of two children.

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The second is the kind that spouses do together for the benefit of the home, the kids or another person. These collaborative sacrifices can become great blessings in disguise, since they seem to reinforce and bolster the bonds of marriage as well as deepen our relationship with Christ. They give us (as a couple) a common purpose, so we, in turn, learn to become mutually dependent and supportive toward

each other for a common goal.

Examples might include relinquishing a precious Saturday to visit an ill or elderly acquaintance together. Or something we’re going to be doing in the near future, getting rid of our cable TV, so our children aren’t exposed to inappropriate programming and racy ads.

Another example of the collaborative type happens at dinnertime. Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I love to cook.

But there is a big difference between fun, creative and leisurely experimentation in the kitchen, and the mundane food preparation that happens on a routine basis for the family. I’ll be frank: it can be a chore, and, thus, a small sacrifice made for their benefit. But when we work together in the kitchen, the burden of the job becomes a common goal and challenge.

We operate like true partners.

Of all the meals my husband and I cook together, few have been as demanding, and rewarding, as paella. Paella is a Spanish rice dish that includes a lot of ingredients and preparation. I will be forthcoming in saying that it is one of the more involved recipes I’ve shared in this magazine. But it is totally worth the effort, as it results in a delicious combination of complex flavors and textures.

Guests love it and our children devour it. And the sacrifice it demands (work, extra time and some cleanup) is as rewarding to us as the taste of the finished product.

My husband and I find that sacrificing for each other has long-term benefits. But

4-6 skinless chicken thighs, seasoned with salt and pepper 2 chorizo sausages, cut into 1-inch pieces 1 pound raw, peeled shrimp ½ pound raw sea scallops or chopped calamari 10-12 little neck clams or mussels (in the shell), scrubbed 1 (15-ounce) can diced tomatoes, drained 2-3 red, yellow, orange or green bell peppers, sliced into strips ½ cup frozen peas, thawed 1 medium to large onion, chopped 5-6 cloves minced garlic pinch of crushed red pepper (or more for added heat) 1 teaspoon Spanish saffron 4 cups chicken stock or broth 2-3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil 2 cups white rice salt and pepper to taste ½ cup chopped parsley lemon wedges for serving

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yourfaith

14 The Gloria

16 Be more like Mary

in the know with Father Joe

Dear Fr. Joe:

Q a

At Mass on Sunday, one of the intentions was for social justice.

I hear this term all the time in church – what does it mean?

This is a great question! These are confusing times for American Catholics, I think. We’ve got a strong sense of allegiance to our American political system, be it conservative or liberal, and are, at times, in danger of letting our political affiliation define us more than our Catholic faith.

Let’s look at what the Catholic Church means when she

requires us to be concerned with social justice. As for me, I’m neither liberal nor conservative – I’m Catholic.

With all that in mind, let’s get right to it. What is social justice?

We’ll start where any good answer does: the catechism. In section 1928, the CCC says this: Society ensures social justice when it provides the conditions that allow associations or individuals to

T. Gennara

What is social justice? obtain what is their due, according to their nature and their vocation. Social justice is linked to the common good and the exercise of authority.

The catechism helps us further by breaking down the idea of social justice into a few core ideas, each one with pretty serious consequences.

We start with the idea of human dignity. A society that is socially just is one that promotes the fact that we are all made in God’s image and likeness. Each person we encounter is a treasure God puts before us. Any law or policy that doesn’t enhance this belief works against human dignity and, therefore, works against social justice. If our hunger for social justice is not rooted in a firm and heartfelt conviction that all life is sacred, then we do not understand social justice at all.

Because of this inherent dignity, a socially just society promotes and proclaims policies that allow all persons within

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Because he felt crummy.

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FAITH Magazine / May 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

Send your questions to: “In the Know with Fr. Joe” FAITH Magazine, 1500 E. Saginaw St., Lansing, MI 48906 Or: JoeInBlack@priest.com it a legitimate shot at earning their due.

This idea that we all share equally in God’s dignity means then that we should, as a country, work hard to reduce/ alleviate any “excessive social and economic inequalities. (Human dignity) gives urgency to the elimination of sinful inequalities.” (CCC 1947) Also, keeping in mind the value of each person, a society that lives a commitment to social justice recognizes that each person should “… look upon his neighbor, without any exception as ‘another self.’” (CCC 1931) This goes beyond “accepting other people” and right into the heart of our belief that we were made to be dependent on one another.

It is not a bad thing; this interdependency is God’s plan.

This brings us to the final idea of social justice: solidarity. In sections 1939-1942 of the catechism, the idea and importance of human solidarity are broken down so well, I’d be hard pressed to explain without missing some very important ideas. The core idea of solidarity is that we are all connected, you and I and every person in the world. We are connected by God’s love for us and Illustration by Bob Patten

EVERETT

spiritual popcorn

Take Mom to the movies

M

ay is a great time to take mom to the movies – perhaps on Mothers’ Day or after church in this month that we honor our Blessed Mother (or simply because the summer blockbusters are starting to arrive in theaters now – and Mom deserves a trip to the multiplex, too).

This is also a perfect month to remember movie mothers over the years: Kay Miniver (Greer Garson) as a resilient mother in the early years of World War II in Mrs. Miniver (1942); Aurora (Shirley MacLaine) comforting her cancer-stricken daughter, Emma (Debra Winger), in Terms of Endearment (1983); or Erin Brockovich (Julia Roberts) as a single mom who becomes the protector of a whole town in a major civil case in

Read more of Paul Jarzembowski’s thoughts on www. spiritualpopcorn.blogspot.com.

What’s amazing to me about our recognition of our human will be honored and protected at this is that this teaching on social dignity and the dignity of all his all stages – it’s a big prayer, but justice is not about any political children. we are praying that, as one well worth praying! party. It’s about you and me. You a country, our policies and laws Enjoy another day in God’s and I are all called to be just. will promote an honest and open presence!

With our hearts, our words and society that offers each person a our actions, we are called to chance to earn their due. We are Next month, we’ll explore the recognize the value of every praying that life seven principles of social justice. person we meet and let that recognition transform the way we live and love.

Father Joe’s book, Smart Answers and In summary, when we Bad Jokes, is available now at pray for social justice, we www.FAITHmag.com. It’s also availare praying that God will able for your Kindle at www.amazon.com smart answers increase in each of us &bad jokes Draft

DO NOT PRINT

fr. Joe Krupp

was born in

a priest who proves

God has a sense

of humor

as director of Campus ministry. a regular on Catholic tv and in FAITH magazine, fr. Joe loves to read and teach, as well as watch football. he prays for the Lions regularly.

& bad jokes from

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smart answers

fr. Joe Krupp

by our dignity. This connection should compel us to identify with those who suffer and want justice for the poor and “little ones” – at least as much as we want it for ourselves.

See that? A society that is socially just is one that starts with a recognition of human dignity and continues with a deep respect for the way God manifests himself through the many people we encounter and the spiritual and physical gifts they bring with them!

Erin Brockovich (2000).

Perhaps most importantly, movies remind us that the love, strength and determination of mothers can withstand any problem that faces their families.

For instance, in The Incredibles (2004), it is Elasti-Girl (voiced by Holly Hunter) who brings her strong-headed husband, Mr. Incredible (voiced by Craig T. Nelson), back to reality – and reminds

him that the love of family is the greatest superpower of all. In much the same way, in My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002), it is the common sense of the Greek family matriarch, Maria (Lainie Kazan), that softens the hard edges of her bull-headed husband, Gus (Michael Constantine), and fuels the ambitions and dreams of her formerly shy daughter Toula (Nia Vardalos).

These films remind us how important our mothers are in our lives and in our families. In the Scriptures, it was Mary who lovingly encouraged Jesus to perform his first miracle at Cana (John 2:1-12), yet still stepped back and allowed him to do as he wished.

Mothers are the glue that can hold a family together and the gentle voice urging us on. The Blessed Mother has done that for the Church through the centuries, and our own mothers and grandmothers continue that wonderful tradition.

Movies like these (and many more) continue to remind us to honor our mothers, thank them for their sacrifice and love them as Jesus loved his own mother.

So treat your mom (and any of the other motherly figures in your life – grandmothers, aunts, sisters, spouses, teachers, caregivers and mentors) to a bucket of popcorn and a seat next to you at the movies this year.

It’s the least we can do for them.

from a priest who proves God has a sense of humor

Collected column s from faith

magazine

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theology 101

The Roman Missal:

The Gloria

A

doxology is a “word of praise” and we have several in our Mass that usually conclude a prayer. But the Gloria is known as the Great Doxology. It is a Christian hymn modeled after the psalms and canticles of the Bible. Originally used as an Easter hymn and at the conclusion of morning prayer, it can be found in Greek and Syrian sources as early as the fourth century, most notably in the Apostolic Constitutions in 380.

Some call it the “angelic hymn” since its first words are taken from the angels’ greeting to the shepherds at Bethlehem.

(Luke 2:14) It was first incorporated into the pope’s Christmas Mass in the sixth century.

By the 11th century, it was sung at all Masses on Sundays and special occasions.

Ideally, since it is a hymn, it is always sung. Originally, it was sung by the assembly with a simple melody. Only in later centuries, when elaborate polyphonic settings T. Gennara

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were composed, was it sung exclusively by a choir. Today, it may be sung by the entire assembly, by the cantor or choir, or by the people alternating with the choir.

The text of this hymn may not be replaced by any other text. (GIRM 53) It is sung or said on Sundays outside the seasons of Advent and Lent, on solemnities and feasts, and at special celebrations of a more solemn character.

In November 2011, when we begin us-

Rita Thiron is director of the Office of Worship for the Catholic Diocese of Lansing and a member of the board of the Federation of Diocesan Liturgical Commissions.

FAITH Magazine / May 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

The Gloria OLD words

NEW words

Glory to God in the highest and peace to his people on earth.

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to people of good will.

We praise you, we bless you, we adore you, we glorify you, we give you thanks for your great glory, Lord God, heavenly King, O God, almighty Father.

Lord God, heavenly King, almighty God and Father, we worship you, we give you thanks, we praise you for your glory.

Lord, Jesus Christ, only Son of the Father, Lord God, Lamb of God, you take away the sin of the world: have mercy on us; You are seated at the right hand of the Father, receive our prayer.

For you alone are the Holy One, you alone are the Lord, you alone are the Most High, Jesus Christ, with the Holy Spirit, in the glory of God the Father. Amen

For you alone are the Holy One, you alone are the Lord, you alone are the Most High, Jesus Christ, with the Holy Spirit, in the glory of God the Father. Amen.

Catholic News Service

ing the new translation of the Roman Missal, you will notice some new phrases. They are not in our current translation, but they do appear in the Latin original – “We praise you, we bless you, we adore you, we glorify you, Lord God, heavenly King, O God, almighty Father.” Even this seeming repetition is a sign of our meager attempts at due praise.

The word “sins” is now pluralized, acknowledging that Jesus takes away sins from each of us and all of us. The word “begotten” has been added to the phrase “Only begotten Son of the Father” to give a fuller expression to this important doctrine. Indeed, this phrasing is found in the Antiphonary of Bangor in 690 (Deus Pater omnipotens, Domine Fili Unigenite, Sancte Spiritus Dei).

It is fitting that the Glory to God appears in our introductory rites. We are gathered together to join the entire Church in a sacrifice of praise.

Lord Jesus Christ, Only Begotten Son, Lord God, Lamb of God, Son of the Father, you take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us; you take away the sins of the world, receive our prayer; you are seated at the right hand of the Father, have mercy on us.

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For complete texts of the order of the Mass, go to www.usccb.org

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Y O U R

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spiritual fitness

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FAITH Magazine / May 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

How can we be

more like Mary?

God’s desire is that your children have such a life that God is at the center of their goals, their plans, their hopes and their dreams. Am I talking about everyone becoming a priest or sister? Of course not! But, what I am saying is that every mother (and father) should desire that their children, above all else, be formed in a way of life that makes them truly Christian – truly Christ-centered!

Whether they become doctors, artists, engineers or playwrights is secondary. The most important thing is that they know Jesus Christ. Once you’ve given yourself to God’s will, God’s way, you find a joy and a delight that no one can take from you or your children.

Everyone has a free will and the ultimate choices for their eternal destiny will be made by each of your children. No parent can do it for a child. But a parent can live a life worthy of the Gospel in such a way that it is attractive. Some children will be drawn, some will rebel, some will be indifferent – but you do it because this is the central piece of a mother’s

vocation in Christ.

And then you pray! Scripture tells us quite clearly, “Whatever you ask in my name, I will do.” (John 14:13) What does that mean? Take a moment and think about it this way: Whenever you want a particular favor done for you or for someone you know and you don’t have the wherewithal to make it happen, you might go to a friend and say, “Would you put in a good word for me with so and so?” You trust that this friend will have influence on someone to affect the outcome of a decision in your favor.

Jesus says that we can pray to the Father in his name and our prayer will be heard. But I need to be sure that I have the same intention as the one whose name I use. Jesus’ intention is always that the Father’s will be done. When I pray in Jesus’ name, I am asking that God’s will be done in my child’s life. When you surrender your children like that you will eventually see great blessing.

So in short: God loves your children even more than you do. He wants them with him forever.

T. Gennara

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t is May – the month of the Blessed Mother and the month in which we honor our earthly mothers. As I was reflecting on that, I began to think about one particular quality of a good mother: her desire for the best for her children; her willingness to sacrifice in so many ways to make sure her children have the best that a mother can make possible. The well-being of her children – health, education, advantages for the future, their relationships, the fostering of their talents and abilities – is ever uppermost in a mother’s mind and heart. But don’t forget what is most important.

Sister Ann Shields is a renowned author and a member of the Servants of God’s Love.

Questions can be addressed to Sister Ann Shields, Renewal Ministries, 230 Collingwood, Suite 240, Ann Arbor, MI 48103 May this be the beginning of a real Mothers’ Day celebration – one that lasts right into eternity! For a much fuller treatment of this topic, see my book: Pray and Never Lose Heart, available from Renewal Ministries, 230 Collingwood, Suite 240, Ann Arbor, MI 48103.

Only $12.

Spiritual exercises

1

Unite your will to God’s will by daily allowing your life to be more and more conformed to God’s will. Ask him for grace to surrender your personal life and your married life to his will.

2

As you do that, you will begin to grow in wisdom on how to pray for what is most needed in your child’s life – whether that “child” is 2 or 22 or 62. A mother’s prayers united with God’s will are powerful! “The prayer of a righteous man (or woman) is powerful in its effects.” (James 5:16)

3

If it is possible, form a small mothers’ group that meets monthly, or more frequently, if possible, to pray for your

children together. The support of others praying with you for the needs of your children is supportive and encouraging and keeps discouragement from overwhelming you.

4

Where it is at all possible, I would encourage a husband and wife to pray together weekly for the needs of their children, surrendering them to the Lord and his will, praying for specific needs. When a couple is on the same page and continues faithfully in prayer, God will bless!

5

If you are a single mother, don’t be discouraged. The Holy Spirit will pray with you in a very particular way. You are not alone and God will bless your prayer.

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from the bishop

God’s plan for marriage a reflection of his love

L

ast year, Mom and Dad celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. It was a day to celebrate. And so we did – “God who is love and who created man and woman for love has called them to love.” (Compendium of the Catechism, #337) Their marriage has fulfilled the plan of God for married couples: marriage is “by its very nature ordered to the communion and good of the couple and to the generation and education of children.” (#338)

Carlson Productions

Yes, their marriage and their love is a great thing – but it has never been, and is not now, easy.

Would they have walked down that aisle if they knew ahead of time what those 60 years would bring? Probably, and that is the mark of their fidelity and love.

Still it is a wonderful thing that God spares us the knowledge of the future. That way, we can face the joys and trials of life one day at a time.

Their marriage, and the marriages of so many couples like them, give great hope. We all need to love and to be loved. This is not just a matter of liking someone. We need truly to love, that is, to pour out our life for someone – to give away all that we are to someone who will receive our all. In that, we become fully human, fully alive. Jesus told us that the grain only bears fruit when it

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has died in the earth. To see married people is to know that such a self-gift is possible and to have true hope that even I can make such a gift of myself – even if, in my case, it is to Jesus and his Church.

Their marriage is also a sacrament. Along with the sacrament of holy orders (diaconate, priesthood and episcopacy), the catechism calls marriage a sacrament at the service of communion.

Thus, this sacrament of marriage is not about me but rather about others – my spouse, my children, my Church, my world.

Marriage is a means by which God’s grace and life flow to one’s spouse. Their bodies, their minds, their hearts and their souls become the pathways of Jesus in their lives for each other. It is the place where spouses grow in patience, in self-sacrifice, in simple gratitude, in true humility, in generous forgiveness, in real sorrow and in genuine passion. One’s spouse is able to taste divine love because of this grace of God. Marriage is also the God-given pathway for new life. Spouses cooperate with God and conceive a new human being who is in the image and likeness of God. Cou-

Above: Bishop Boyea at 1 with his parents, Earl and Helen, and his new brother, David.

Right: Bishop Boyea with his parents before his Installation Mass

ples fulfill their natural purpose by together helping God create this person, their child, and they achieve their supernatural purpose as they help this child grow in wisdom and grace and the knowledge of God in whose image we all are.

Marriage serves the Church.

Paul wrote to the Ephesians: “’For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is a profound one, and I am saying that is refers to Christ and the Church.” (5:31-32) Couples make the marriage of Jesus and his bride, the Church, sacramentally present. Their fidelity and fruitfulness point to the never-ending love and fruitfulness of Christ and his body, the Church. That is why the family

is called the domestic church.

Marriage creates our world. It is the cornerstone of all society.

Society furthers and supports marriage because that society wants itself to continue and flourish, because that society wants new life and wants that life nurtured by a father and a mother, and because that society recognizes that wife and husband work hard to restore unity even where there is discord, a model for how we are all to be in society as a whole.

Will mom and dad be around for their 70th? Who knows!

Nonetheless, they have already achieved for each other, for us, their children, for the Church, and for our society what God intended. Thanks to them and to all married couples. Thanks be to God.

Bishop Earl Boyea is the fifth bishop of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing.

FAITH Magazine / May 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

yourstories What do I know?

David Eich, author of Happiness, Only in the Next: 7 Choices for Eternal Life

D

avid Eich began writing as a hobby, and has published four books. He speaks at retreats and keynote presentations. Because of his devotion to the Blessed Mother, he has used her words to impact his own.

What would you say is the mission for your writing?

I think it was driven by encounters with people. Frankly, God picked the time, and he said, “You’re going to be my instrument,” and that’s why I do what I do.

What led you to write this book? I’ve seen the movie Song of Bernadette eight times. In it, there’s a line where the Blessed Mother looks at little Bernadette and says, “I cannot promise you happiness in this world, only in the next.” I couldn’t get those words out of my head. I thought, “You know what? I think I’m supposed to write a book on happiness.”

You can spend eternity in this world or do the right thing in this world and gain eternal happiness.

How have you reflected on happiness? I know I have been blessed, but I have an accountability to use those blessings wisely. And that’s the message I give people. You ask “Why happiness?” I say “Why not?”

– Photography by Tom Gennara

T. Gennara

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A match made in heaven … and ordered online

Lynne and Anthony met and fell in love the “new-fashioned” way – online. Find out how they courted on a Catholics-only dating site.

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Y O U R

S T O R I E S

our story

A match made in heaven … and ordered online

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T

here is often an awkward silence when people ask how my husband and I met. But since FAITH asked the question, my husband and I recently sat down over a cup of coffee and reflected on how it all began with the help of God, a couple of dear supporters and, yes, the Internet.

FAITH Magazine / May 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

My story begins a few months prior to “the big day” – wedding plans that were pretty much in place. All was perfect, except for my feelings for the guy I was about to marry. I just felt he was lacking sincere interest in his faith. I had to make a very hard decision. And so there I was, Valentine’s Day 2002. Twentyeight years old. Single. And feeling really discouraged that I had just walked away from a year-long engagement. I have to say that, even after the fact, I felt torn, wondering if I had done the right thing. But with discernment, prayer and some time, I knew I had.

Several months later, I bumped into Father Tim MacDonald after Mass. After receiving the update of my break-up, he candidly suggested a Catholic online dating network. Oh my gosh – I was just told by a priest to make myself a mail-order bride. Or, so it felt. I thought, no way. But that evening, I found myself staring at my computer. After hours of internalizing the whole idea and eventually throwing my arms up to God, I did it. I signed up against (what I thought was) my better judgment.

After some correspondence here and there, and a couple of unsuccessful dates, I was ready to give up on the whole endeavor. But I didn’t. Thankfully. Because, very soon, I would receive a message that would change everything.

David was living 20 miles away and was experiencing the same kind of discouragement when it came to dating women.

“I had recently ended a long relationship,” he recalls. “Following its demise, I found myself supersaturated and uninspired with the whole dating scene.

I kept telling God what I was looking for. But he didn’t seem to be listening. I had officially decided to stop hunting, and

By Michelle Sessions DiFranco | Photography by Tom Gennara

had quasi-relegated myself to my career and my hobbies. I was a consecrated bachelor.”

But David’s brother-in-law, John, had different plans for him. David explains, “The perpetual cheerleader, John, told me to get back on the saddle and suggested a Catholic online dating service. I thought, are you kidding me? Must I stoop that low? I heartily declined. But John pressed on. In his view, meeting someone at the bar, or at work, or anywhere else is starting at ground zero. You know nothing about them, and the screening process can be long. But with the online service he was recommending, if you are a Catholic guy looking for a Catholic wife, one big part of the screening process is done. You know they are Catholic and at least moderately interested in their faith. Good thought. I still said no.”

John was extremely persistent. If David wasn’t going to meet his new wife online, then John was going to do it for him. John set up a bogus profile for himself, which allowed him to access all the female profiles on the site. Each day, as David arrived at work and fired up the computer, there waiting for him was the electronic profile of some woman John discovered and thought attractive. David stated that, “For several weeks, I deleted them without even bothering to read their profiles. I was simply not taking the bait.”

Finally, John’s persistence did pay off and David read one of the profiles – mine. David recalls, “The person sounded interesting; what she wrote about herself, her interest in her Catholic faith and her priorities, I must admit, were refreshing.”

So David endeavored to e-mail me. But to do so, he had to create a profile for himself online. “The whole transaction bothered me,” he explains. “I felt voyeuristic. I shut the office door to avoid being found. I set up a profile, sent the e-mail and suggested we meet for coffee. Why invest beyond that when I was still reluctant and rather pessimistic about the whole affair? A half hour would be all I need to see where this might lead.”

After three-and-a-half hours at the coffee house, our conversation was still going strong. And one year after our introduction, we were engaged.

Like others, David and I wanted a beautiful wedding. But it was the Playing it safe – online dating safety tips Whether you meet online or at work – or anywhere else – it’s important to be Get the free mobile app at careful when you begin dating. Click on http://gettag.mobi www.catholicmatch.com/about/safety.html

Like others, David and I wanted a beautiful wedding. But it was the marriage that we both looked forward to most, and the raising of a family. We now have two beautiful children, and we truly are happy. marriage that we both looked forward to most, and the raising of a family. We now have two beautiful children, and we truly are happy.

Certainly marriage is not always easy. But David and I were given a kernel that really helps us keep a healthy perspective. During our engagement retreat, Father John Riccardo showed us an image of Christ nailed to the cross. “Take a good look at it,” he said. “That is what marriage looks like.” He told us to never forget that marriage is entirely about sacrificing and suffering, for the other person; it is, from a vocational standpoint, ‘why we get married.” “To what extent must we suffer for our spouse?” he asked. Indicating the crucifix, he said, “Until it looks and feels like that.” A powerful thought. Remembering this helps us both in our marriage.

Today we reflect that given our mutual reluctance toward online dating, it’s truly a miracle that we ever met. I was a few days away from canceling my membership and David had only just opened his account. But we did meet. And we have God, a priest and a brotherin-law to thank.

Michelle Sessions DiFranco is the Culture columnist for FAITH Magazine

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Lynne and Anthony met and fell in love online

A

nthony Hsu made the investment of a lifetime when he took advantage of a sale on Catholic-

Match.com. While other online dating sites charged up to $250, CatholicMatch.com was offering a six-month subscription for $60 in honor of St. Raphael, patron saint of single people.

“It was a good deal,” Anthony grins. “I said a prayer and signed up, then forgot about it for a few months. When I checked it again, I saw Lynne’s profile ... just before I left on a medical mission trip to Guatemala.”

“I was doing my residency, so I worked and studied around the clock. I didn’t have time to look for a match. The people I met were mostly in the medical field, but they only wanted to talk about medicine.

“When I got back from Guatemala I e-mailed her and asked if she’d like to meet.”

Since graduating from college, Lynne Ridenour

had met new people online and enjoyed it – most of the time. Lack of time and high standards led her to enroll in her first online dating site before graduation. After meeting some really nice guys online, she continued to renew her memberships. As a lifelong Catholic, Lynne thought enrolling in CatholicMatch.com made sense.

“All the sites try to match you on personality,” Lynne explains, “but after about 30 dates, I hadn’t found the right fit. I saw Anthony’s profile on CatholicMatch.com and I decided to respond.

“When he asked me to dinner, I accepted.”

cover story

ANTHONy: “I am very close to my friends from medical school.

My best friend met his wife on My Space and six of my friends met on e-Harmony or Match.com, but I had never tried online dating.

After I asked Lynne for a date and she said yes, I called my friends.

‘What if she’s a serial killer or something?’ They laughed and told me to try it.”

LyNNE (laughing): “The first thing he ever heard me say was ‘Oh Shoot!’ as I drove through a red light on my way to Applebee’s. Anthony called me to see if he was in the right place, and I was trying to drive and answer my phone at the same time. I misjudged the light.

“When I got there he was waiting. I remember he was so easy to talk to – not like some of my other dates. We spent two or three hours talking and enjoying dinner.

ANTHONy: “I thought she was beautiful. And it felt comfortable with her.”

LyNNE: “I thought he was so different from the other guys I had dated – more shy and thoughtful” ANTHONy (winking): “I wasn’t creepy.”

LyNNE: “It surprised me that I liked him because, at the time, I was looking for someone more outgoing. But I felt comfortable with him right away.”

ANTHONy: “On my way home from Applebee’s, I felt different – really calm. I thought. ‘Wow, that was fun! I wonder if she’d go out with me again.’ But I didn’t want to look too eager, so I waited until the next day and asked her out for the following weekend.”

LyNNE: “Of course, I said yes. Shortly after that, we went to Stony Creek Metro Park and walked the grounds and talked. I was pleasantly surprised that he had such a great sense of humor and that I felt so comfortable with him.”

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FAITH Magazine / May 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

ANTHONy: “Before we met, I was always thinking about medicine, and no matter where I was, I felt I should be somewhere else. But with Lynne, for the first time, I stopped thinking of something else.

When I was with her, there was no place else I’d rather be. It felt as if time just stopped.”

LyNNE: “Except for when he was on-call, we dated every weekend after that.”

ANTHONy: “She baked me cookies.”

LyNNE: “We lived one-and-a-half hours apart, so we took turns visiting each other. Anthony met my family right away and he fit right in. About four months later, his mom came from the East Coast, and I got to meet her.”

ANTHONy: “Any person I had ever dated, I didn’t tell my parents.

But I wanted my mom to meet Lynne. They got along great.”

LyNNE: “Very early, I made it clear to Anthony that he was not to tell me he loved me until we dated at least six months.”

ANTHONy: “But I had never felt this way before! So I started writing poetry for the first time in my life.”

LyNNE: “After about a month, Anthony gave me a poem that was so beautiful! It took me by surprise, though, because he hadn’t even kissed me yet.” (Lynne turns to Anthony) “I think I was the first girl you ever kissed.”

ANTHONy (nodding): “I took microbiology in high school so I knew all the things that are in the human mouth. Knowing all the illnesses I could get, I just never kissed anybody. Lynne was the first person I really wanted to take that chance with.

“For the longest time I thought I’d never find the right person for me. I was too busy, too this and too that. But with Lynne everything just felt right. I asked my friends how they knew they had found their match. They said ‘I just knew.’ I was coming to

By Nancy Schertzing | Photography by Jim Luning

understand what they meant.”

“It’s important to go in with an open mind. But if you’re thinking about dating online, try it. If I didn’t have friends who encouraged me to try it, I wouldn’t be married today.”

LyNNE: “At six months, I was feeling like things were going well.”

ANTHONy: “Once I could tell her I loved her, we started talking about spending our lives together. We visited jewelry stores and talked about the future. When I told my friends, they said ‘You’ve got to do something special to ask her!’ One of them had hired a skywriter and another had proposed in France. I was under a lot of pressure!”

LyNNE (smiling): “He did a great job though. When he asked me if I wanted to go back to Stony Creek, I didn’t think anything of it. I love it there.”

ANTHONy: “I took her to the bench where we had talked on our third date, and I pulled out my laptop.”

LyNNE: “He said ‘I have something I want to show you,’ and he turned on a video montage of all the places we had visited together.

It was set to piano music, and it ended with the words ‘Will you marry me?’ coming up on the screen. I looked up and Anthony was holding my engagement ring.

“I was crying. I said yes.”

ANTHONy: “We’ve been married since October (2010) and it’s been really easy. The worst thing is that I still work as much as before, but I don’t want to be there so much anymore. I really love my time with Lynne and I hate that my studying and research interfere.”

LyNNE: “I hope this doesn’t sound cheesy, but I really feel God’s presence in Anthony. I feel so accepted and loved.

“If I had to offer advice, I’d say you can meet really great people online. You just have to take precautions. Talk a couple times then get together before you form too strong an image of who you think that person is.

ANTHONy: “It’s important to go in with an open mind. But if you’re thinking about dating online, try it. If I didn’t have friends who encouraged me to try it, I wouldn’t be married today.”

He smiles contentedly at Lynne.

Preparing for marriage Catholic couples in the Diocese of Lansing participate in the We C.A.R.E. program as they prepare for marriage.

We C.A.R.E. is a communication and relationship enhancement program for engaged couples sponsored by local Catholic Charities agencies and the Family Ministry Office of the Diocese of Lansing. This program teaches skills for handling conflict and promoting intimacy in a Christian relationship.

For more information, visit www.

Get the free mobile app at dioceseoflansing.org. http://gettag.mobi

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yourcommun things to do

things to do May 1, noon-3 p.m., Blessing of the Bikes at St. Louis Center, 16195 Old U.S. 12, Chelsea. Attendees receive spiritual blessings for a safe riding season, in addition to enjoying entertainment, prizes and food.

For questions or to volunteer, e-mail mail@stlouiscenter.org.

May 1, 2:30 p.m., St. Gerard Church, 4437 W. Willow, Lansing will host Divine Mercy Celebration – Holy Hour Exposition of Blessed Sacrament, homily, Divine Mercy Chaplet, benediction and reconciliation. There will be several priests available.

All are welcome. For information, contact Mark Stenske at 517.272.9639.

May 3, 7 p.m., Immaculate Heart of Mary Parish, Lansing celebrates the crowning of Mary with a processional – followed by a prayer service and a program by the children in the religious education classes. The celebration concludes with a social in the parish family center.

All are invited.

May 5, 6 p.m., St. Casimir, 815 Sparrow Ave., Lansing, will hold its annual card party.

Tickets are available at the door.

Come play cards, board games, or just visit with friends and enjoy desserts and beverages. Top prize $500. Door prizes and raffles throughout the evening.

May 12, 7 p.m.-8:30 p.m., Transplant Support Group/ Lansing Area will meet at the

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Peoples Church, 300 W. Grand River in East Lansing.

Group meets the second Thursday of each month. For more information, contact Joan Smith at 517.351.2174 or joansmith@mindspring.com.

May 13-14, Marriage Links – an overnight retreat at Camp Michindoh presented by Marriage Matters Jackson. Come and have fun and learn tools for managing your relationship.

Cost is $75 per couple. Details are available at www.MarriageMatterJackson.com or call 517.796.5116.

May 14, 9 a.m.-1 p.m., Spring Moms to Moms Sale at St. John Church, 2099 N. Hacker Rd. in Howell. For more information, e-mail sjmommsale@yahoo. com.

May 14, 2 p.m., you are invited to a Celebration of Life on the Michigan State Capitol Lawn in Lansing with a Living Rosary, Knights of Columbus Color Corps. Following is a 4 p.m.

Mass at St. Mary Cathedral.

Officiating is Bishop Emeritus Carl Mengeling. For information, contact Philip Mondro, at ptmondro@ comcast.net.

May 17-19, annual Retreat for Persons who are Sight Impaired/Blind at St. Francis Retreat Center in DeWitt.

Reservations and fee required.

For information, contact Joann Davis at 517.342.2497 or jdavis@dioceeoflansing.org.

May 19-22, St. Peter Church will host Eaton Rapids’ annual Ox Roast and Carnival at 515

E. Knight St. Thursday and Friday 4 p.m. to close and Sunday noon-6 p.m. Live entertainment, 50/50 drawings, food and lots of family fun. For information, call 517.663.4735 or go to home.catholicweb.com/ StPeterEatonRapids/.

May 19-20, Relay for Life will be held at Union Street Community Center in Eaton Rapids starting at 2 p.m. Friday and running through 2 p.m. Saturday.

May 20, 6 p.m. rain or shine, Kerusso 11 – a benefit concert hosted by Holy Redeemer Church, 1227 E. Bristol Rd., Burton and in cooperation with the Burton Area Ministerial Association – for Love Inc. of Genesee County Churches.

Artists include: Addison Road,

May café events

dioceseoflansing.org.

Catechist Formation Opportunity, May 4, 7 p.m.-9 p.m., at Christ the King Church, Ann Arbor. Topic is Loving and Educating Them – Managing Student Behavior.

For information, contact Maureen Cousino 734.929.0975 or mcousino@ctkcc.net.

Our Lady of Guadalupe in Flint offers a bilingual study of the Bible, 6:30 p.m.-8 p.m., Wednesdays and 10:30 a.m. - noon Thursdays in the Guardian Angels Room.

For information, call the parish office, 810.787.5701.

Diocese of Lansing Ministry Formation Program – Formation for Mission Sessions: June 4, 8 a.m.-1 p.m. (lunch included), at St. Francis Retreat Center, DeWitt, cost $15. Topic: Gender, Church and Partnership in Ministry – presented by Dennis Sugrue, Ph.D. Registration: include name, phone, e-mail, parish and payment and mail it to Dept. of Formation, 228 N. Walnut, Lansing, MI 48933.

Deadline: May 26. For information, contact Ann Rivet at 517.342.2510 or arivet@

FAITH Magazine / May 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

The Supper of the Lord – called to a deeper understanding of the Mass. If you want to learn more about the Mass, join Father Dwight Ezop for a six-week exploration. The sessions will be at the Catholic Community of St. Jude, 801 N. Bridge St., DeWitt: 7 p.m.-8:30 p.m., April 12 and 26 and May 3, 10, 17 and 24; and 9 a.m., April 13 and 27, May 4, 11, 18 and 25. Schedule excludes Holy Week. You may attend either session the same material will be covered each week for both.

nity 21:03 and Thicker Than Water.

For ticket information, visit www. itickets.com.

May, 21, St. James Women’s Club in Mason will be having its semi-annual Rummage Sale.

Doors open at 9 a.m. and close at 2 p.m. Questions? Call the parish at 517.676.9111.

May 21, 5:30 p.m., Dinner and a musical show event at St. Agnes Church in Fowlerville’s Parish Life Center, 855 E. Grand River. There will be a dinner, silent auction, musical variety show and more. Tickets are $25 per person. For information, call the parish office at 517.223.8684. All are invited to join us.

May 21 – Lansing Catholic Singles invites all singles, mid30s-50s, to join us for euchre/ game night and potluck at 5:30 p.m. RSVP by May 17.

Limited to first 40 people – so sign up early. July 16 – Picnic for Michigan mid-life Catholic singles at Burchfield Park in Holt. Come meet new friends and have fun. For information, call 517.321.7886 or go to lansingcatholicsingles@live.com.

Sept. 12-23, Bus trip – Ohio to Yellowstone. Communion service offered daily. Cost is $2,499 per person. Contact Jan Hoffbauer Wyandot-Seneca Tours at 517.879.0734 or janandmh@yahoo.com for details.

April 30-May 2, as part of St. Matthew, Flint’s 100th anniversary celebration, it will have a Parish Retreat. Father James Friedel, OSA will speak

Catholic Charities Livingston County Catholic Charities, 2020 E. Grand River, Ste. 104, Howell, 517.545.5944 or livingstoncatholiccharities.org May 13-14, a We CARE Marriage Preparation seminar will be held at St. Patrick Parish, Brighton. Registration fee is $75. For a registration form and information, visit LCCC’s website.

May 18, 4:30 p.m.-6 p.m., Alzheimer’s Educational Series – Know the 10 Signs: Early Detection Matters. To register, call the Alzheimer’s Association at 734.475.7043.

Catholic Social Services of Washtenaw County (CSSW), 4925 Packard Rd., Ann Arbor734.662.4462 or csswashtenaw.org CSSW’s Emergency Food Program at all weekend Masses and Sunday through Tuesday at 6 p.m. Sunday’s 6 p.m. talk will be followed by a light reception.Mon.-Tues. talks will be followed by a light meal. To RSVP, call the parish office, 810.232.0880 or send to stmatt-flint@rc.net.

Aug. 9-11, the 18th annual Summer Scripture Days will be in Bethany House at the St. Francis Retreat Center in

has expanded its hours and it offering new services to low-income families. It is located inside the Northside Community Center, 815 Taylor St. in Ann Arbor and provides non-perishable food and personal care items at no cost. Hours of operation are: Tuesdays, 3 p.m.-7 p.m.; Thursdays, 9 a.m.-3 p.m.; and now every Saturday, 1 p.m.-4 p.m.

New services the Emergence Food Program has are: Providing assistance on how to apply for food stamp benefits on Mondays, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Walk ins are welcome and to set up an appointment with the CSSW benefits specialist, please contact Kim Green at 734.662.4462; and a Baby Formula Program for low-income families with infants to receive baby formula at no cost.

For information regarding benefits, qualifications and food donations, please call 734.662.4462.

DeWitt. Author Kevin Perrotta will present “Love Crosses Boundaries.” The study will cover personal stores of people in the Old Testament – their experiences and decisions, both positive and negative. For information and to register, call the diocesan Catholic Charities office at 517.342.2465.

Nov. 2-12, Pilgrimage to Italy with Father Mark Ruth-

erford. Sites include Rome: Assisi, Loreto, Lanciano, San Giovanni Rotundo and Orvieto. Cost is $3,399 per person and includes airfare, accommodations, some meals and more. Information session at Christ the King, Ann Arbor, after the 11:15 a.m. Mass on Sunday, May 15. For reservations or to RSVP for the information session, contact Carmen at Corporate Travel, 313.565.8888 ext.121.

If you know someone in need, the following parishes serve free hot meals weekly in Livingston County: 6 p.m., Mondays, Magdalen’s Kitchen at St. Mary Magdalen Parish, 2201 Old US 23, Brighton – for more information, call 810.229.8624.; 6 p.m., Wednesdays, God’s Kitchen at St. Joseph Catholic Church, 425 E. Washington St., Howell – for more information, call 517.546.0090.; and 6 p.m., Thursdays, St. Agnes Catholic Church, 855 E. Grand River Ave., Fowlerville – for more information, call 517.223.8684.

At our retreat centers St. Francis Retreat Center, DeWitt, 866.669.8321 or www.stfrancis.ws May 6-7, a mother/daughter retreat.

Weber Center, Adrian, 517.266.400 or www.weber.adriandominicans.org May 7, 10 a.m.-2:30 p.m., Mary, the Mother of Jesus, in Islam; May 11, 10 a.m.-2:30 p.m. (lunch included), Nutrition:

a sensible approach to good health – cost $35; and May 17-20, A Celebration of Life: a retreat for elders (50+) – cost for single occupancy is $350 and double occupancy, $250 per person.

Directed Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius eight-day retreats – May 15-23 and May 25-June 2 at Bread of Life Retreat Residence, 4901 N. Dixboro Rd., Ann Arbor.

For information, call 734.332.9733 or e-mail, AnnArborRetreats@aol.com.

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St. Louis Center, Chelsea’s 28th annual recognition dinner

local news

Bishop Boyea with the Elect of Our Lady of Guadalupe Parish, Flint.

For more images from other parishes, visit www.FAITHmag.com.

The diocese celebrates the rite of election

O

n March 13, throughout the Diocese of Lansing, catechumens and candidates participated in the rite of sending, where they were presented to their parish by name and their godparents and sponsors testified publicly before God and the assembly that were ready to receive the Easter sacraments. The candidates and catechumens were then invited to seal their intentions to receive the sacraments of initiation by signing their name in the Book of the Elect.

Later that afternoon, the rite of election was celebrated at three regional parish sites where catechumens and candidates came together to be officially “elected” – chosen by God through the bishop – to receive the Easter sacraments. It’s at this

time that our catechumens are no longer called by that name, but are referred to as the Elect.

This year, our diocese has 343 Elect and 398 candidates, for a total of 741 people who will be initiated and received into the Catholic Church on Easter.

In February, St. Louis Center, Chelsea held its 28th annual Recognition Dinner.

Those recognized were Sister Margaret Mary Schissler of the Daughters of St. Mary of Providence; Walter and Monica Horodeczny; Larry Doll; Rick Graustein; Frank Grohnert; and St. Mary, Manchester’s pastor Father Timothy Krzyzaniak and its parishioners.

Following the dinner, Bob Fay presented Father Enzo Addari, director of St. Louis Center, with a $39,000 check from the Italian American Club of Livonia’s 16th annual Italian American Culinary Extravaganza fundraiser held in January.

Christian Foundation for Children and Aging – sponsoring children around the world The Christian Foundation for Children and Aging (CFCA) offers hope worldwide by restoring dignity through sponsors. CFCA has sponsors for 307,336 children and adults – but still needs sponsors for 7,300 individuals.

Harv Slager and his wife, Marcy Keefe-Slager, recently returned from a Mission Awareness trip to India.

Jan Hoffbauer said she and her husband sponsor a boy from Bogotá, Colombia. “Our letters to each other connect us as we share our lives.”

If you can help or would like to become a sponsor, contact Christian Foundation for Children and Aging at 800.875.6564 or at www.hopeforafamily.org. – Jan Hoffbauer

Holy Family School’s special project – lunches of love

Bishop Baraga Room renovation East Lansing Knights of Columbus Council 7816 recently completed renovation of the Bishop Baraga Room, a multipurpose room located at St. Thomas Aquinas Parish.

The Knights volunteered more than 200 hours and donated more than $6,700 to the project, with another $1,000 generously donated by the St. Thomas Rosary Altar Society.

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FAITH Magazine / May 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

This was the eighth year for Holy Family School, Grand Blanc’s Catholic Schools Week special service project and the students were very busy on Feb. 1 preparing lunches for the hungry. Students in grades 4-8 assembled almost 500 sack lunches. Usually these lunches are delivered the next day to the North End Soup Kitchen in Flint. However, this year, because of the snowstorm warnings, some teachers and students delivered the lunches that afternoon.

The snowstorm arrived and the cooks were unable to make it in to the North End Soup Kitchen on Feb. 2. So, the students’ “Lunches of Love” were served to the people that came that day. Without those lunches, they would have had little to eat.

Catholic Social Services joins national research effort Catholic Social Services of Washtenaw County has been selected to participate in a nationwide study to research new ways to help people with schizophrenia and related disorders. The study will develop interventions that can be tested in real-world treatment settings and be quickly put into practice if proven successful.

Individuals interested in learning more about how to participate in the RAISE Early Treatment Program should contact Lorin Burgess at 734.926.4653 or e-mail lburgess@csswashtenaw.org.

More information is available at www.raiseetp.org.

Holy Cross Children Services’ Foster Care Program St. Joseph Shrine, Brooklyn’s Deacon Gene Hausmann and his wife Jean raised two biological children, adopted a daughter from Korea and took care of 15 foster children.

They were among the pioneers for the Holy Cross Children Services’ Foster Care Program.

Holy Cross has many children on its waiting list.

If you can help, contact Gene at 517.423.7667.

For information on adoption, contact Catholic Charities of Jackson and Lenawee Counties at 517.782.2551. – Jan Hoffbauer

Requiescat in pace, Father Randall Miller Reverend Randall Miller, parochial vicar of St. John the Evangelist Parish, Jackson, suffered a heart attack during Vigil Mass on March 26 and passed away March 28. Mass of Christian Burial took place April 1 at 10:30 a.m. at St. John the Evangelist Church, Jackson. Interment was at 3 p.m. at St. Joseph Cemetery in Lansing Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in peace, Amen.

Jackson County Multiple Sclerosis Support Group Bob Hoffman, parishioner at Queen of the Miraculous Medal Church, Jackson, is a co-leader of the Jackson County Multiple Sclerosis Support Group. The group was founded in 2004 to offer encouragement to those diagnosed with MS. For more information, contact Bob at 517.782.7640. If interested in starting a new chapter in your location, call the National MS Society Michigan Chapter at 800.344.4867. – Jan Hoffbauer

Livingston County’s Seeker of Justice 2011 Livingston County Catholic Charities hosted its 7th annual “Salute to the Stars” on March 19 at St. Mary Magdalen Church in Brighton. Julie Cyrus, president of St. Augustine Parish, Howell’s St. Vincent DePaul Society – was awarded the Livingston County’s Seeker of Justice Award for the Diocese of Lansing.

St. Augustine’s St. Vincent DePaul Society assists more than 200 families a year with food, shelter, utilities, fuel and other services. Home visits to the poor are at the core of the society, which believes it gives people more dignity to go to them.

Professional Pastoral Ministry Association – 25th anniversary The Professional Pastoral Ministry Association (PPMA) celebrates its 25th anniversary this year. Its mission is to celebrate their baptismal call through support, formation and education of lay ministers. It works in conjunction with the Diocese of Lansing’s Office of Lay Ecclesial Ministry.

One goal of PPMA is to develop relationships with other lay ministers to help each other balance ministry with other life responsibilities.

If you would like to learn more about the Professional Pastoral Ministry Association, contact Deborah Amato at 517.342.2512 or go to at www.ppma. parishesonline.com.

Church partnership opens South Flint Soup Kitchen In January, the South Flint Soup Kitchen officially opened.

It marked the successful collaboration of Catholic Charities of Shiawassee and Genesee Counties and Lincoln Park United Methodist Church.

The South Flint Soup Kitchen serves hot meals to those in need, Monday-Friday, from 11 a.m.-noon, in the dining room of the Lincoln Park United Methodist Church located at 3410 Fenton Rd. For more information, contact Lincoln Park United Methodist Church at 810.239.3427 or Catholic Charities’ North End Soup Kitchen at 810.785.6911.

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in their parish who has been designated to help in these matters. It can be a priest, a deacon or a layperson who has been trained. That individual helps determine what kind of case they have. Some cases are privilege cases because they look at the baptismal status of the parties and other dynamics.

Others are called documentary cases, such as a Lack of Form in which a Catholic party marries outside the Catholic Church without Church permission. But most cases involving a marriage between baptized individuals are formal cases. Such cases determine whether a marriage is invalid due to the ability of the parties to give consent at the time of the wedding.

ministry focus

What if you are divorced? dispelling myths about ‘annulments’

W

hen Dr. Eileen Jaramillo, JCL, D.Min. holds workshops about declarations of invalidity for marriages, often known as annulments, as many as 100 people come to hear her speak and to ask questions about the process and what it means. It can all seem very mysterious, says Jaramillo, a judge for the Diocese of Lansing’s Tribunal, which reviews issues about marriages, sacraments and other issues related to Church law. Even the terms can be confusing, she explained recently when she talked with FAITH about her work.

The term “annulment” is not a canonical term. It means that something never existed.

And some people use the term “declaration of nullity,” but that

30

also seems to imply that the marriage was null – that it didn’t happen. The marriage always will have existed, and children will not be declared illegitimate.

FAITH Magazine / May 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

The precise term is “invalid.”

When we are declaring a marriage invalid, we are declaring that it did not meet even the minimum standards that are set by the Catholic Church.

Another misunderstanding is that Catholics think that once they get a divorce, they can no longer receive Communion. But if they do not remarry civilly and are in the state of grace, they can still go to Communion because the Church considers them to be married.

A person begins the process by going to someone

A formal case requires the petitioner to gather documents such as the marriage certificate and the divorce decree. They also have to answer a questionnaire that deals with family background, the courtship, the marriage, and their intentions at the time of the marriage; and to name a minimum of two witnesses who can corroborate claims that the marriage was invalid.

The most common reasons a marriage may be invalid in a formal case fall into two categories: acts of the will and psychological grounds.

Severe psychological issues include alcohol abuse. An example of an act of the will is entering into marriage with the intent not to have children. We are looking at the moment of consent at the time of the wedding.

Once all of the materials are gathered, they are given to the Tribunal. Most cases are heard by a three-judge panel. A defender of the bond is also named, and it is his job to ensure that the rights of both parties are protected and procedures are followed and to point Photography by Tom Gennara

The wedding feast

last word

of the Lamb

S

St. John, the Apostle of Love, opens up his Gospel with the wedding feast at Cana. There we find Jesus, at his mother Mary’s request, changing water into wine. He demurs and tells her “my hour has not yet come” but nevertheless performs her requested miracle. The “hour” of which he spoke was the time of his passion, death, and resurrection. Specifically it was when he celebrated the Last Supper. There the bread and wine were changed into his body and blood when he gave us himself in the new and everlasting Covenant.

In his Book of Revelation, St. John speaks of the Last Supper as “The wedding banquet of the Lord.” (Revelation 19:7-21) Thus St. John brackets his entire “Good News” with two wedding feasts, the one at Cana, the other the Lord’s Supper, the celebration of the nuptials in which God the Son marries himself with our humanity in a covenant sealed in his blood, a covenant union that can never be broken.

A contract can be rescinded; we can

break our contracts by our choices and actions. A covenant however cannot be rescinded – it remains forever. “This is my body,” the Lord declares.

“Take it and make it yours.” “This is my blood, my life. Take it and mingle it with yours,” he

Father Charles Irvin is the founding editor of FAITH Magazine and is retired.

gist to interview the parties.

Each person goes through something different, but many people say this process leads to a lot of healing. It is not like getting a divorce. out all of the reasons a marriage is still valid.

We then send a letter to the petitioner’s former spouse, explaining the case and asking if he/she would like to participate in the proceedings. Once that is determined, we set the formal grounds and send questionnaires to the witnesses. If psychological issues are involved, we ask a psycholo-

is saying. “I am marrying you and even though you put me to death I will come back out of the grave to love you because nothing can make me not love you. I will never divorce myself from you.”

The sacrament of matrimony is our joining into the wedding feast of the Lamb, our uniting into the Covenant love of God given to us in Jesus Christ.

The sacrament of matrimony replicates the permanent commitment, body and soul, in which God’s everlasting love is given and received. How fitting and wonderful that it is made real for us in holy Communion. How beautiful it is that God’s permanent love is made real for us in the sacrament of matrimony. We should celebrate it and then live it in awe and wonder.

The petitioner and his/her former spouse can come in and read the material we have collected. While most people do not choose this option, sometimes they do because they don’t understand why their former spouse wanted to get a divorce. They are looking for answers. I sit with them for a long time as they review what has been submitted.

The three judges discuss the case and vote. One of the judges then writes a sentence, which includes the basic facts of the case and the law, discusses how the grounds were either proven or not proven and deals with the objections raised by the defender of the bond. Individuals can appeal the decisions, and all cases are reviewed by

the Appellate Court, Archdiocese of Detroit. Formal cases can take up to 18 months to go through both courts and that is if we’re not behind. In 2008, we did 186 formal cases. There were 118 of the other kinds of cases, which take a shorter period of time to process.

a negative, which means that the marriage is valid, because we believe they had a solid marriage that can be put back together.

Perhaps forgiveness needed to be extended, or one of the parties needed to better understand his/her actions.

If a marriage is declared invalid, the people involved are free to marry again.

Sometimes, we put a stipulation on one or both parties. For example, if someone is still an alcoholic, we are going to put a restriction on him saying he cannot marry in the Catholic Church unless he has gone through counseling. What’s important is that he doesn’t carry that baggage into a new marriage.

Each person goes through something different, but many people say this process leads to a lot of healing.

It is not like getting a divorce.

A divorce doesn’t deal with the issues. It is hard to complete the questionnaire and to talk about what happened, but once people do, they are no longer carrying that heavy burden. People often tell me about how they have felt the presence of God in the decisions that they have made and the realizations they have come to during the process.

Sometimes we give a case

In addition to serving as a judge in the Tribunal, Dr. Eileen Jaramillo also does consultative work for other diocesan offices and for religious communities.

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