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• To wish, to hope what's the difference?

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his may come as something of a surprise, but I am not a risk-taker by nature. However, I have also learned that sometimes taking a risk can open the door to an expeI’m still not rience I would otherwise have missed, and more often While sure that anyone will than not, I am the better for having taken the risk. ever entirely con-

Just a few weeks ago, I visited Alaska for the first time. It was a remarkable experience that surrounded me with some of the most beautiful scenery ever created by God. The mountains are breathtaking and the wildlife is diverse. Much of the trip was quite safe, involving nothing more adventurous than climbing in and out of many modes of motorized transportation or walking through the wilderness. There was, however, one venture that, in my mind, entailed a great deal of risk: white-water rafting.

Small boats or rafts and I have had an uneasy relationship for as long as I can remember. It didn’t help matters when our guide told us (after the obligatory safety training) that the glacial lake where we were beginning our journey is between 400 and 600 feet deep and its water remains a chilly 38 degrees during the summer. “Yikes!” I thought to myself, “I sure hope there’s a patron saint of white-water rafters and their guides.”

While I’m still not sure that anyone will ever entirely convince me that white-water rafting is the enjoyable thing to do, I will say that taking the risk to get into the raft made possible an amazing (and, in the end, safe) trip through a stunningly beautiful corner of our God-given world.

Without taking the risk to climb into the raft, I would never have seen an iceberg face-to-face, nor would I have seen the emerald green of a natural spring-fed river. I would never have had the experience of traveling in a small group through a pristine valley that, even to this day, has been visited by relatively few people.

The risk was worth it.

There is something both exciting and scary about taking a risk. Risk involves a certain degree of vulnerability (Will I fall out of the raft?) and it can bring a reward (Did you see that beautiful mountain?). Like any relationship, that of Ben Creger and his Big Brother, Rod Pender, involved a certain degree of risk for both Ben, who had been abandoned by his parents, and Rod, who would eventually open his family’s life to Ben. Other risks involve the decision to stand out in the crowd, like Caitlin Riley, whose baldness due to alopecia makes her instantly recognizable. Having chosen to eschew a wig, Caitlin took the risk of standing out so that others might accept her for who she is, not how she looks.

Our relationship with God entails a degree of risk, too. Jesus comes to us, like he did to those first disciples, and invites us to climb into the boat with him. Sometimes the waters of the lake are smooth, sometimes there are storms and waves. Whether placid or turbulent, Jesus is always with us in the boat. As we travel the path of discipleship, he is always there to guide and govern, to comfort and protect, to challenge and heal. If we take the risk to get into the boat with him, we will never be the same, for he will take us to places we never dreamed – to become a people who are God’s own, in a Kingdom that is not of this world. And so our journey in FAITH continues

vince me that whitewater rafting is the enjoyable thing to do, I will say that taking the risk to get into the raft made possible an amazing trip through a stunningly beautiful corner of our Godgiven world.

Faith hope and love the greatest risks

– Father Dwight Ezop is editor of FAITH Magazine and pastor of the Catholic Community of St. Jude.

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FAITH Magazine 2006of the Blessed Virgin Mary Sept. 8 | St. Peter Claver, Priest Sept. 9 | The Most Holy Name of Mary Sept. 12 | St. John Chrysostom, Bishop and Doc Liturgical Calendar:September The Nativity

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c o v e r s t o r y oh brother! How Ben’s Big Brother changed Ben’s life Ben Creger is going to college. But he wouldn’t be – if it weren’t for Rod Pender.

Find out how having Rod as a Big Brother changed Ben’s life.

– Nancy Schertzing

inside

what you’ll get out of this issue in the know with Fr. Joe 6 Dear Fr. Joe: what do I do if a friend is suicidal?

– Father Joseph Krupp

work life 9 what do I want to be when I grow up? Ohmigosh, am I a grown-up? – Tim Ryan

Standing tall – p 10

scholarship winners what do teens hope for?

10 The Father Charles Irvin Scholarship winners – Katie Phelan and Brianne Walsh.

Find out how faith is Brianne’s foundation and why Katie hopes she and her friends will never grow up. Read their great essays here.

p r o f i l e bald and beautiful – how Caitlin’s faith helps her deal with alopecia. This high-school homecoming queen lost all her hair when she was only 12– but her lovely smile keeps shining. Find out how Caitlin’s faith helped her deal with the loss of her hair and strengthens her for the journey ahead.

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Bethany House changed my life. The Diocese of Lansing’s teen retreat center is celebrating its fifth anniversary.

Read one teen’s story about the impact his time there has had on his life.

– Margaret Ann Cross

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– Marybeth Hicks

p r o f i l e life without his mother – how Matt Butler coped with his mother’s death. On a Sunday evening after Mass, Matt’s mother collapsed and died. The family was shaken, and Matt’s father turned to alcohol. Although Matt was grieving, he reached out to his father and to others.

Find out how Matt’s faith pulled them all through.

I hope we never grow up – p 12 How Catlin’s faith helps her deal with alopecia – p 20

14 Hope – the enegizer for us all – Bishop Carl F. Mengeling

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– Bob Horning

from the bishop

spiritual fitness 26 In a chat room with God. Prayer is our instant message with Jesus. – Father Bill Ashbaugh

the parenting journey 29 My child is not my best friend. How being a parent is different from being a friend.

– Dr. Cathleen McGreal

last word How Matt coped with his mom’s death – p 22

31 To wish, to hope. What’s the difference? – Father Charles Irvin

nd Doctor Sept. 13 | The Exaltation of the Holy Cross Sept. 14 | Our Lady of Sorrows Sept. 15 | St. Cornelius, Pope and Martyr Sept .16 | St. Cyprian, Bishop and Martyr Sept. 16

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The Magazine of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing

Most Reverend Carl F. Mengeling PUBLISHER

Rev. Charles Irvin

Blessing the Ark

FOUNDING EDITOR

September 2006 • Volume 7: Issue 7

Rev. Dwight Ezop EDITOR IN CHIEF

Patrick M. O’Brien MANAGING EDITOR/CREATIVE DIRECTOR

Elizabeth Martin Solsburg ASSISTANT EDITOR/STAFF WRITER

Patrick Dally ART DIRECTOR/WEB DESIGNER

Jillane Job SUBSCRIPTIONS/SECRETARY

Patricia Oliver SECRETARY

Elizabeth Grodi Shannon Hoffman EDITORIAL INTERNS

Rev. William Ashbaugh Margaret Ann Cross Michelle Sessions DiFranco Marybeth Hicks Elizabeth Johnson Rev. Joseph Krupp Deb McCormack Tom and JoAnne Fogle Bob Horning Cathleen McGreal John Morris Rick and Diane Peiffer Tim Ryan Nancy Schertzing Allena Tapia Sara Teller CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Derek Melot Margaret Perrone PROOFREADING

Tom Gennara Christine Jones James Luning (cover) CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS

Vicki Bedard Wayne Case Michael Eichhorn Patricia Garcia Mary Jo Gillilland Diane Nowak Margaret Perrone Rev. Bernard Reilly James Rhadigan Ricardo Rodriguez Dcn. David Rosenberg Rev. James Swiat Peter Wagner Sharon Wimple ADVISORY BOARD

FAITH Publishing Ser vice Rev. Dwight Ezop CHAIRMAN

Patrick M. O’Brien

On June 26, Bishop Mengeling blessed the completed Ark, located in Westphalia. The Ark is a center for the youth from St. Mary Parish and the surrounding area.

Teens at the Ark. The parish purchased and renovated a downtown building; all the labor was donated.

John Lehman, who is a parish catechist, is one of the donors – he wired the entire building at no charge. There is a café on the main level, operated by high-school students and managed by a young adult. The game room has a pool table, foosball table, card tables and an arcade machine. The building also houses meeting rooms and a prayer chapel.

Three years after the teen cover – wedding bells ring Neil Feldspausch and Amber Smith, who were featured on our Sept.

2003 Teen Issue cover, were married on May 27 at St. Mary Parish, Westphalia. Congratulations and best wishes from all of us at FAITH!

Father Larry, Deacon John Sundwick, Msgr. George Michalek and Bishop Mengeling exchange a joke during Mass.

St. Francis Retreat Center celebrates 50 years of faith St. Francis Retreat Center, DeWitt, celebrated its 50th anniversary on June 25, beginning with a Mass of Thanksgiving. Bishop Carl Mengeling and priests of the diocese concelebrated. The altar servers were George Mallison and William Lenneman, who served the first Mass in 1955.

Bishop Mengeling said, “I always think of this as a nuclear blast furnace of faith, hope and love. What a powerhouse, this celebrating leadership of 50 years – those Franciscans and the Great Delaney, and Father Conlon and Father Vincke.”

The retreat center was established by the Franciscans as Portiuncula in the Pines, and was purchased by the diocese in 1989. Father Larry Delaney has been its director ever since.

The Mass was followed by a reception – Father Delaney said they had planned for 500, and were thrilled when between 800-1,000 guests arrived.

“

– Lillah Olson

PRESIDENT/CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER

Beverly Sherman SENIOR ACCOUNT MANAGER

Enomhen Odigie GRAPHIC/WEB DESIGN

Abby Wieber GRAPHIC DESIGNER

InnerWorkings PRINT MANAGEMENT

FAITHPublishingService.com FAITH™ (USPS 019993) is a membership publication of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing, 300 W. Ottawa, Lansing, MI 48933. Published monthly except February and August.

Subscription rates are $15 per year. Individual issues are $2.50. Send all subscription information and address changes to 209 Seymour Ave., Lansing, MI 48933; 517. 342.2595; fax 517.342.2537 or e-mail jjob@faithpublishingservice.com.

Periodicals Postage Paid at Lansing, MI or additional offices.

POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: FAITH™, 209 Seymour Ave., Lansing, MI 48933. ©FAITH Publishing Service.

FAITH is a trademark of FAITH Publishing Service.

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The Knights of Columbus at the 50th anniversary celebration.

St. Januarius, Bishop and Martyr Sept. 19 | St. Andrew Kim Taegon, Priest and Martyr and St. Paul Chong Hasang and their companions, Mar

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Saint: Maria Goretti Feast Day: July 6 Claim to fame: St. Maria Goretti is the patron saint of youth and young girls and also of rape victims and abused children.

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rench was interesting today,” Betsy said.

“How so?” I asked. As usual, she was helping me prepare dinner – she’s the only one of my four children who always answers when I call for an extra set of hands in the kitchen.

T. Gennara

She grabbed a knife and an onion and sidled up to the cutting board. “Well, this kid made a really rude comment to my friend, so I sort of went off on him.”

“What did he say?” I figured it had to be pretty bad.

“He pointed to her stomach and said, ‘Put those rolls away. It’s not time for dinner.’”

That was bad. Comments about a teen girl’s physical flaws are unwelcome, at best.

“So what do you mean, you ‘went off on him’?” I had visions of Betsy pummeling this boy with an English-to-French dictionary and yelling “fait taire.”

“I stood up and said, ‘That was a horrible thing to say to a girl. You might think you’re funny, but nobody else does.

Everyone else thinks you’re rude and mean.’”

“Wow,” I said. I didn’t know whether to be impressed or afraid, but I was glad I wasn’t the onion she was chopping. Recalling the episode caused her to dice furiously.

I wondered if Betsy’s tirade had drawn a response. “What did everyone else do?”

“Nothing,” she said, “but later, in the cafeteria, some kids said that was the best French class ever.”

This isn’t the first time Betsy has spoken up for someone.

– Marybeth Hicks

Find out how Betsy cemented her “geek” reputation by standing up for a teacher at FAITHmag.com.

Little Known Fact: Maria’s family was so poor that she was not able to attend school and learn to read and write. Because of this, her mother was certain that her daughter would not be able to make her first Communion, since she would be unable to learn the catechism. Maria, however, was on fire with desire to receive Jesus in holy Communion, so she arranged with a woman in the village to teach her orally, and she was able to answer all of the priest’s questions perfectly. After she made her Communion, she began to instruct her younger siblings in the faith.

What Made Her a Saint: Maria Goretti was not quite 12 years old when she was attacked by a 19-year-old neighbor, Alessandro Serenelli. When she refused his sexual demands, he stabbed her 14 times. As she lay dying in the hospital, she said she forgave Alessandro and wanted him to be with her in paradise. Six years after her death, Alessandro saw her in a vision, in which she gave him lilies that turned into white flames.

As a result, he repented. When he got out of prison, he went to live at a monastery, where he served the monks for the rest of his days.

Best Quote: The best quote in the story of St. Maria Goretti comes not from her, but from her mother. When Maria’s killer was released from prison after 27 years, he went to Maria’s mother to ask for her forgiveness. “If my daughter can forgive him, who am I to withhold forgiveness?” The two then attended Christmas Mass together and received Communion.

How She Died: Maria died of stab wounds three months shy of her 12th birthday.

Prayer: God our Father, source of innocence and lover of chastity, you gave St. Maria Goretti the privilege of offering her life in witness to Christ. As you gave her the crown of martyrdom, keep us faithful to your teaching. We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever. Amen.

– Elizabeth Johnson

ns, Martyrs Sept. 20 | St. Matthew, Apostle and Evangelist Sept. 21 | St. Pio of Pietrelcina, Priest Sept. 23 | Ss. Cosmas and Damian, Martyrs Sept. 26 | St. Vincent de Paul, Priest Sept. 27

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Recently, at the high school where I’m chaplain, one of our students committed suicide. It was one of the most difficult times I have experienced in my six years at the school. I am writing this column about suicide in response to a question mailed to me. The answer comes from being a part of the slow and painful healing process that everyone goes through when someone chooses to take his or her life. Please pray today that all of us will grow in our ability to know our value in the eyes of God. May Jesus bless you today.

dear Fr. Joe what do I do if my friend is suicidal?

Dear Fr. Joe: What do I do if a friend is suicidal?

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ough times, obviously – you have my prayers. Now, what do you do? First of all, you have to recognize that you are in an important position as a friend. If you think your friend is suicidal, then one of two things is true: One possibility is that your friend told you that he is thinking of suicide. If that is the case, then that means your friend has trusted you with his secret. You have earned something great because of the way you care, and that speaks very well of you. The second possibility is that you have watched your friend and picked up on subtle signs that

something is amiss, and that you see the possibility of her hurting herself. If that is the case, this also speaks well of you; you are out into the light. They are more an observant, sensitive person than questions; they who is aware of your friends at a time in “How are you do- are a statement of care your life when it is ing today? Is there and concern. As your friend shares his heart hard not to be selfanything I can with you, make sure focused. I am telldo?” Questions that you are really lising you these things like this are an because you need to invitation to take tening. Find out what keep them in your what is hidden in is going on and what heart, as things might the darkness and you can do to help.

Often, the best thing get rough. bring them out you can do to help is The first step is to into the light. to be available and ofbe sure that you are talking with your friend about his fer him all your love and prayers.

Now, if in your conversations, or her feelings; “How are you doing today? Is there anything I can you realize that she is serious about hurting herself or taking do?” Questions like this are an her own life, you need to be sure invitation to take what is hidden and be present to her as much in the darkness and bring them

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FAITH Magazine September 2006 St. Wenceslaus, Martyr Sept. 28 | St. Lawrence Ruiz and his companions, Martyrs Sept. 28 | Ss. Michael, Gabriel and Raphael, Archangels Sept. 29 | St. Jerome, Priest and Doctor Sept. 30

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Columbus had the right idea! FAITH asks: In what year did Magellan complete a circumnavigation of the globe?

what would you say to someone who is feeling hopeless

Ferdinand Magellan’s crew completed a circumnavigation of the globe on Sept. 9, WHAT YEAR? In an effort to find a western sea route to the Spice Islands of Indonesia, Magellan searched for a western route that would lead him to the Pacific Ocean from South America. Although he died before finishing his trip around the world, he found a passageway later named in his honor – the Straits of Magellan.

We asked sophomores in Mr. Kalahar’s class at Jackson Lumen Christi High School what they would say to someone who is feeling hopeless.

“Oh say can you Key ... oops, see ...”

Francis Scott Key composed The Star-Spangled Banner on Sept. 14, WHAT YEAR? “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” Famed writer Agatha Christie was born on Sept. 15, WHAT YEAR? Founded by St. Ignatius Loyola, the Society of Jesus received its charter from Pope Paul II on Sept. 27, WHAT YEAR? The society was a Catholic missionary organization designated by its founder as “The Company of Jesus,” a name indicating its true leader, Jesus Christ.

Carly (age 15): I would say you only live once; make the most of it. God put you here for a reason; live your life to the fullest of your ability.

Logan (age 16): Encouragement is a key attitude to have when trying to help a person. Passing on a positive attitude could change the way they are feeling.

Anne (age 15): Every person feels a little hopeless sometimes.

I think you must actually listen to them first. Then the next step would be talking to them and lifting their spirits.

Answers: 1522, 1814, 1890, 1540

times, they may have suggestions as you can. Perhaps you can get about who should be telling a group of trusted people to stay about this situation. There is also close, or seek help from an adult the possibility of talking to one while you take the next step, of your teachers, or the counwhich is the difficult one. selor at school. There are many See, the next step is that you people you can go to need to take this to in a situation like this an adult. The hardest Suicide is a part here will be your permanent condi- – make sure you take feelings of guilt about tion. There are no this step! breaking a confidence. second chances in Now, if the perIt could also be that a situation like this. son is threatening to you are thinking It is much better to seriously hurt him or “Well, I could be make an error on herself at that mowrong and if I am, I’ll the side of caution ment, don’t hesitate really embarrass my than to be at a fu- – pick up the phone friend.” neral and wonder and call 9-1-1. Don’t worry about “wasting I think it’s worth it, what you could their time.” I assure don’t you? Suicide is a have done. you, the numerous permanent condition.

There are no second chances in a police officers I have talked to on this issue would rather respond situation like this. to a call to prevent a teen suicide With that in your heart and than a call to report one. mind, then, be sure and talk to Some people will tell you, a trusted adult. You may want to “Well, she’s only doing it to get talk to your own parents. Some-

attention,” and that may very well be the case. However, if she is only “doing it to get attention,” then she must need attention pretty badly, because talking about suicide is a pretty drastic step. Don’t use the possibility of “attention-getting” as a reason to step away, let it compel you even more to get involved. Any time a person threatens to hurt herself or to end his life, you should take it very seriously.

If you are reading this and struggling with thoughts about hurting yourself or ending your life, please talk to someone who can help: your parents, your priest or teacher, a friend; anyone who can help.

Life is a precious, beautiful gift – we all need to take care of and cherish that gift the best we can.

Enjoy another day in God’s presence!

42%

– Father Joseph Krupp

of U.S. Catholic teens report having experienced a definite answer to prayer or specific guidance from God. – CARA, Fall 2005

What do you think?

Log on to FAITHmag.com then click FAITH forums to discuss this and other interesting topics.

Send your questions to: “In the Know with Fr. Joe”, FAITH Magazine, 209 Seymour Ave., Lansing, MI 48933 or JoeInBlack@priest.com.

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what in the world? the top-10 Catholic News events this month

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All Children Deserve Healthcare, says CHA “As the most vulnerable among us, children deserve no less than the opportunities afforded to them by a healthy life,” said Sister Carol Keehan, director of Catholic Health Association.

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Founder of Legionaries called to “a life of prayer and penance” by pope On May 19, Pope Benedict XVI asked Father Marcial Degollodo not to exercise his priestly ministry in public. Fr. Degollodo has maintained his innocence regarding alleged abuse of nine boys in the’40s and ’50s.

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Former Lansing bishop, James Sullivan, dies

Mumbai blasts denounced by bishops and pope Terrorist attacks on July 11 in Mumbai, India, killed 174 and injured an estimated 464 commuters.

Indian bishops and the pope have condemned the deadly bombings.

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IRS reminds that pulpit endorsements, criticisms illegal Internal Revenue Service commissioner Mark W. Everson has issued a statement cautioning churches to avoid campaigning during the upcoming political season or risk their tax-exempt status.

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Pope offers simple, profound message “According to human nature, man and woman are made for each other,” said Pope Benedict XVI to reporters during his July 8 flight to Valencia, Spain.

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Career journalist joins Vatican Father Federico Lombardi, an Italian Jesuit, replaces Joaquin Navarro Valls as director of the Holy See’s press office.

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Marian documentary The Catholic Communication Campaign will make Picturing Mary available to PBS in November.

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Convent to be built on former concentration camp site The Diocese of Osnabruck, Germany has announced the construction of a convent on Esterwegen and four sisters of the Franciscans of Muster will minister.

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Vatican Museum interested in Picasso The Vatican Museum wants to add modern art to its collection and would “very much like a Picasso,” says museums director, Francesco Buranelli.

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Controversial Archbishop Speaks Out Archbishop Emmanuel Milingo of Zambia, Africa, declared that his mission is to end priestly celibacy and encourage marriage.

Milingo wed five years ago; he later renounced the marriage.

FAITH Magazine

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Bishop Carl F. Mengeling concelebrates (far right) the funeral Mass for Bishop Sullivan.

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ishop James Sullivan, retired bishop of the Diocese of Fargo, N.D., died June 13 of complications from Alzheimer’s disease. He was 76. Bishop Mengeling concelebrated the funeral on June 17 at the Cathedral of St. Mary in Fargo.

Bishop Sullivan, a Kalamazoo native, studied at Sacred Heart Seminary in Detroit and St. John’s Provincial Seminary in Plymouth. He was ordained June 4, 1955 for the Diocese of Lansing and served here for 30 years. In 1972, he was named auxiliary bishop. While in the diocese, he was instrumental in starting the televised Outreach

Mass and Liturgical Commission Publishings.

In 1985, the pope appointed him to the Diocese of Fargo, where he remained until his retirement in 2002 due to failing health.

Bishop Sullivan served on the liturgy commission of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops for 12 years. – Lilah Olsen

Dream car makes St. Francis School’s dreams come true St. Francis of Assisi School, Ann Arbor, raffled off a car and cash prizes on June 7, raising $81,305. Gene Butman Ford of Ypsilanti donated the grand prize 2006 black Mustang convertible, which was won by Karen McDermott of Garden City. Proceeds will be used for language arts materials, a tarp for the gym floor and insulated windows and doors for the school’s entrance.

September 2006

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what do I want to be when I grow up?

Caritas scrambles to help those in the Gaza Strip Caritas-Jerusalem says that the situation of Palestinians in the Gaza Strip has become even more dramatic given the worsening violence.

“At night, we are in darkness. In the streets at night, all you can hear are children weeping, they are so scared,” said Father Manuel Musallam, parish priest of the Latin Convent in Gaza. “We need food, yes, of course, we need food,” Father Musallam added, referring to the thousands of people going hungry and thirsty as food and water supplies dwindle.

“But more than that, we need freedom from fear,” he said. “We want peace and an end to the occupation. Children are crying at night, some cannot find their mothers, their fathers, their brothers or sisters, and they are left in the dark.”

In the new wave of confrontations that began three weeks ago, the Israeli military knocked out the one power generation plant in Gaza. That means that any perishable food cannot be conserved. And medical centers, if they can operate at all, are depending on the little power produced by generators.

Water pumps that run on electricity have been rendered useless. – ZENIT

Pope meets with his future secretary of state Pope Benedict XVI met privately with Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, whom he has appointed his new secretary of state beginning Sept. 15.

Cardinal Bertone, who will succeed Cardinal Angelo Sodano as Vatican secretary of state, met today with the Pope in his Alpine chalet of Les Combes, where the Holy Father is vacationing.

Cardinal Bertone had been a close collaborator of Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger (now Benedict XVI) as secretary of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. – ZENIT

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M Keith is a senior in high school and is thinking about his future career choices.

y friends and I were sitting around the other night talking about college and careers. Almost everyone has been applying to different colleges already. They were talking about engineering, architecture, nursing, cooking, etc. But, I didn’t saying anything – I got scared because I’m not sure what I want to do! I haven’t been thinking about the future, I’ve just been having fun in high school. Now, all of a sudden, I’m supposed to be making decisions that are going to affect the rest of my life. I’m not sure what I’m really good at. I kind of like writing, but everyone tells me that it’s tough to make a living at it and I need to be more practical. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I don’t think I’m ready for this!

The expert says: Author Peter Senge writes about a concept called personal mastery (Fifth Discipline Fieldbook). This is the process of developing a personal vision. But, it’s not as easy as picking a vision in one day and then chasing it.

A personal vision may take a while to develop.

Having a vision doesn’t necessarily mean that we know exactly what’s going to happen or where we’re going in life. It may be fuzzy at first, but it provides us with a sense of direction that automatically guides our thoughts and actions to help us gradually refine the vision. The challenge is to constantly develop a mindset that opens us to the vision so we can act accordingly.

Although Senge doesn’t write about spiritual matters, I think the process he is describing is the same as prayer.

Prayer is how we become

what God needs us to be.

Prayer is not about trying to influence God’s actions; it’s about recognizing God’s actions in our lives and how we need to respond.

Just as personal mastery is a gradual process, seeking God’s purpose is gradual and rooted in prayer. We don’t pray just once and expect it to happen tomorrow; prayer is a continual process of drawing ourselves closer and closer to God’s vision for our lives.

Jesus taught us to be persistent in prayer: “Ask and you will receive, seek and you shall find ...” (Luke 11:8-11) How do I know what God wants me to do?

• God does have a plan for you.

• Pray, pray, pray.

• Let go of what this world says will make you happy.

• Seek the wisdom necessary to follow God’s plan, and you shall find it.

• Be patient; God will reveal each step in the plan when you are ready.

– Tim Ryan

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standing Why I think a foundation in faith builds a strong life

By Brianne Walsh | Photography by Tom Gennara

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ow does a tree stand straight and tall?

How does the Sears Tower look down upon the world without crumbling? How do people lead successful lives? All three of these things have something in common: all have a base upon which they were built. A tree’s roots keep it grounded to the earth, from which it came. The Sears Tower has a foundation anchored into the soil, and a sturdy framework to maintain it. Successful people have values, which they utilize regularly to build their lives.

A foundation is required to build upon, and the foundation for life begins at birth, when the core constructions of family, religion and education begin to mold and shape new life. In my personal experience, the Catholic religious education I have been given, along with my faith, has led me through life thus far. I use that groundwork and continue to develop, hoping it will carry me through life’s most troublesome times.

FAITH Magazine

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September 2006

Entering high school was a big change.

High-school halls were filled with an endless amount of journeying students, each one’s destiny and direction being his or her choice. This new freedom differed drastically from my graduating class of 10 best friends at St. Michael’s school.

I went from having merely two classrooms to having a high school full of them, and full of people who didn’t know who I had always been. I had left my comfort zone, and the one place where everyone knew me. I had been the “good little Catholic Support the Fr. Charles Irv

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girl” my whole life, and suddenly I was surrounded by a blur of the unfamiliar, without any directions to follow except the ones embedded within me, my faith.

Without anyone to lead me, I sought new and exciting changes in my environment. High school was an opportunity to shed my restraints and become whomever I saw fit to be. Willing to accept anyone and anything, I ventured into the unknown, leaving behind the tools I had acquired.

However, I learned that mistaking others’ values for my own would only provide contentment for a short time, and acceptance for being open is different than acceptance for being genuine.

Joining activities that were welladmired and becoming friends with those who could open the door of popularity only brought temporary happiness. I had become someone I had never been before, someone I did not want to be. The lifejacket I thought was holding me afloat began to pull me underwater. When my “friends” left me, I had only one resource to turn to, the faith inside me. Like a child who has first learned to speak, I found my voice and began to take my own path. I began to understand that in order to thrive and be satisfied with myself, I must first be able to depend on myself, because I had already been taught the values that would help me build a fulfilling life.

Growing daily, I have used the spiritual teaching instilled in me, as well as the core values of love and kindness to begin discovering myself. What I learned from my Catholic education has helped me to realize the type of person I wish to be. By making the wrong choices, I learned that without Christ I am nothing, and my life cannot be fulfilled without living for him. With the help of my family, friends, and faith I have recognized that I can accomplish

t e e n s

The Father Charles Irvin Scholarship honors Father Charlie, our founding editor and Last Word columnist. Each year, FAITH awards a scholarship to two high school seniors – one from a parish religious education program and one from a Catholic high school in our diocese. Due to a generous gift from Father Charlie, this year’s scholarships were $1,000 apiece.

FAITH hopes to encourage careers in Catholic journalism by recognizing those students who think deeply and write well.

any goal I set for myself. In choosing where I want my future to go, I have remembered my years at St. Michael’s, and in putting those memories and life lessons to use, I have made decisions for myself that will help me achieve success in a life with God. Throughout my childhood, I recited prayers, read Bible

Brianne Walsh is a member of St. Michael Parish, Grand Ledge

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stories and listened in church. I was surrounded by religion and examples of right and wrong, but none of these lessons became reality until what I believed was challenged. My values were not mine. I did not know who I was until I was submerged in a world where my life was not necessarily acceptable to my peers, where they tried to change me into what they thought I should be.

College will be the next time I enter unfamiliar territory, but this time I will be able to adjust because I have built upon my Catholic foundation. I learned that being who I am is more important than being understood by the “in crowd,” and that faith is my best resource. The journey toward my future begins here, at my foundation, my faith. My greatest hope is that I will continue to build upon my framework, that I will use the faith I have been given and share it with others for the glory of God. I hope that in times of happiness, struggle or sadness, it is the faith I rely on that will send me the strength to continue.

es Irvin Writing Scholarship by sending your donation to: FAITH Magazine, Fr. Charles Irvin Writing Scholarship, 209 Seymour Ave., Lansing, MI 48933

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hope we never grow up. As the graduation class of 2006 moves forward into the next phase of our lives, a change is expected to seep into us without our immediate awareness: we will grow up. It has happened to the students before us, and it will happen to the underclassmen who can’t even imagine the process. Though growing older is inevitable, it is my hope that the seniors around me will redefine the parameters set for their ascent into adulthood.

I am certain that my classmates will become wiser with age, and naturally, more mature. But I hope that we retain a bit of the adventurous spirit that molded our high school career, that we never work so hard that we stop enjoying what we are doing. It is my wish for the class of 2006 that we grow out of being childish, but never out of being childlike.

I hope the boy who plays in the band at football games will never be embarrassed by his trombone, no matter how many of his college friends wore a football uniform instead of marching band attire.

I hope the girl who cantors for every school Mass never stops singing in church.

I watch the boyfriend who I hope I still want surprises his girlfriend on to skydive when her birthday, and I hope he I turn 40. I hope, grows into a husband who both literally and still surprises his wife. I hope figuratively, that I the girl who turns cartwheels am never afraid of at random is never afraid to heights. dishevel her hair. I hope the girl who flew to Africa and decided to join the Peace Corps is never too burdened to want to fly back. The track record is fast, but I hope the slowest boy on the track team never takes his eye off his goals, no matter who tells him they are unreachable. I hope the group

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of teenagers who pray in the dark chapel before school are forever willing to lend some light.

I hope they never grow up.

I hope I still want to skydive when I turn 40. I hope, both literally and figuratively, that I am never afraid of heights. The signup sheet of a marathon for charity has my name on it, and I hope I run every mile for something bigger than myself. I started praying before bed when I was too little to appreciate what I was saying,

and I hope I never stop, even when I am displeased about the lack of sleep. I hope I never stop laughing. I hope the spark inside me that kept me sprinting down the basketball court after practice was over is never extinguished; I hope I never lose the desire to better myself. I hope I never consider myself too important to strike up conversations with the people beside me in the grocery line. No matter how many commitments should take prece-

Catholic high schools in the Diocese of Lansing strive to provide students with a well-rounded, academically challenging and spiritually enriching education.

Their dedicated teachers serve as role models as well as educators.

Our four regional high schools are: Father Gabriel Richard Regional High School, 4333 Whitehall Dr., Ann Arbor, 734.662.0496.

Father Luke M. Powers High School, G-2040 W. Carpenter Rd., Flint, 810.591.4741 Lumen Christi High School, 3483 Spring Arbor Rd., Jackson, 517.787.0630

I hope the spark inside me that kept me sprinting down the basketball court after practice was over is never extinguished.

Lansing Catholic Central High School, 501 North Marshall St., Lansing, 517.267.2100

dence, I hope I don’t stop doing things I truly love. I hope the little girl who grew up watching Iowa rain is never too clean to run outside and splash in the mud.

I hope I never grow up.

I hope my class never loses sight of the goals that pushed us to be who we were in high school, the dreams that kept us up at midnight learning trigonometric functions simply to earn an A. I hope we never stop helping each other. I hope we never turn down ice cream. We won’t be in a classroom forever, but I hope a shift in location doesn’t stop us from asking questions, doesn’t stop us from learning. I hope money is never I hope we never more imstop getting portant than excited about happiness. things, ridiculous We will all things, like a Billy become Joel song on the busy with radio, a shooting work and star or winning at families, BINGO. but I hope we still find time to visit our grandparents. I hope we never stop getting excited about things, ridiculous things, like a Billy Joel song on the radio, a shooting star or winning at BINGO. I hope we live every day of our adult lives with the passion and enthusiasm that we poured into our high school career, and that we never succumb to a lackluster existence.

Right now, we are overflowing with energy and determination, and I hope the roaring whitewaters of our potential never subside to a depleted tributary. I hope we never forget that once, we wanted to leave some goodness in our wake. That once, we knew we could. I hope we never lose our faith in God. I hope we, and anyone we inspire along the way, change the world, and I hope that idea never seems naïve.

I hope we grow in many ways, but I hope we never grow up.

es Irvin Writing Scholarship by sending your donation to: FAITH Magazine, Fr. Charles Irvin Writing Scholarship, 209 Seymour Ave., Lansing, MI 48933

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You can stand at the edge and dip your foot in the water or sit at the edge and dangle your legs in the pool. Or, you can dive in! Our hope to reach any goal depends on diving in.

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ope is one of the dynamos of our lives. By keeping our goals on the front burner, hope excites and urges us to keep the momentum going.

Hope is a must, because when there’s nothing to hope for, there’s nothing to live for!

What’s hope like? It’s like the clever TV commercial for the Energizer battery. The battery keeps the cute rabbit marching and drumming – when the battery dies, the drummer stops. Hope is the battery that keeps us going, but when it dies, we too stop.

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The brilliant theologian, St. Thomas Aquinas, listed reasons why hope is important in the young. His hopes and struggles as a teen were a big help to me as a teen

the familiar 52 cards. This was a pinochle deck. He said that the game of pinochle and the game of life are about what really counts to win.

In pinochle, only five cards are counters – the aces, kings, queens, jacks, and 10s. When each hand is done, they are added to your score. Our priest linked the pinochle counters with the faith counters in the game of life. The ace is faith, the king is prayer, the queen is Mass, the jack is penance, and the 10 is the commandments. That last one was easy to remember.

On each evening during Lent, that priest presented the counters for our life of faith.

He linked each with the life of Jesus. The ace (faith) was the

‘‘

Hope energizes us with zip and drive, as it spurs us on to the goals we believe in. We only hope for what we believe in.

Faith and hope are inseparable; they depend on each other.

Hope is a must for all, but especially for the young. So much lies ahead, and they have so much to hope for.

Teens come alive when they learn and experience the link between faith and hope. Remember, we only hope for what we believe.

The brilliant theologian, St. Thomas Aquinas, listed reasons why hope is important in the young. His hopes and struggles as a teen were a big help to me as a teen: The young are filled with hope because – They have little past to look back on.

They have plenty of future to look forward to.

They have faced few setbacks, so they sense they can do anything.

They are enthusiastic and ready for any task, however arduous.

At 15, faith began to come alive in me and set the stage for a life of hope.

It was in 1946, at the parish’s teen sessions on five Lenten Wednesdays.

On the first evening, our young priest drew from his vast deck of cards. As he spread the deck, we didn’t see

learn faith had another effect in my life. I began a lifelong pinochle craze! Two years later, in 1948, I entered the seminary and the pinochle circuit there.

Those Lenten Wednesdays – they were a good start.

Hope was a theme of our high school’s graduation Mass.

After the Mass and breakfast, our young priest spoke about our future as Catholics and how hope keeps our efforts going. He offered a compelling example of efforts and choices that took root: “Imagine a swim meet.

Picture the competitors in position for the race. At the shot, all dive in. The game of life is like that. But there are other choices that are silly for swimmers, yet are sometimes chosen in the game of life – you can stand at the edge and dip your foot in the water or sit at the edge and dangle your legs in the pool. Or, you can dive in!”

We’re free to make these choices, and we are stuck with the results. This is true of everything: family life, school, college, sports, arts, our professions, vacation time, faith and more.

Our hope to reach any goal depends on diving in.

Because of God’s grace at work with us and in us, we have the faith and hope to take that plunge.

I’ll give a priest-detective the final word. He is the creation of G.K. Chesterton, who wrote many fascinating mystery stories.

In one of them, the title character, Father Brown, warns, “The devil always tries to make us helpless by making us hopeless.”

Hope

the energizer for us all woman at the well.

The king (prayer) was the Canaanite woman.

The queen (Mass) was the Last Supper. The jack (penance) was the prodigal son and the 10 (commandments) was linked to the beatitudes.

His use of the five pinochle counters to help us

– Most Rev. Carl F. Mengeling is the fourth bishop of Lansing.

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Most relationships with Big Brothers/Big Sisters last only for a year. But the relationship I’ve had with Rod has been exciting and challenging for the eight-plus years we’ve been together. He has helped me in many ways and given me opportunities I would not have had if we had not been introduced.

love my mom and I’m not one to hold grudges. I see her every now and then. Lately, she’s been pretty excited about my graduation, so she’s been calling my grandma about that. She says she’s off the drugs now and I believe her. I don’t hold grudges against anyone, but if I had to choose again, I’d still live with my grandma; ’cause I know what my mom was going through, wrapped up in drugs and stuff. I wouldn’t want to put myself through living with a person like that. I’m OK with her leaving.

I don’t remember much about my childhood. Mostly what I know is from what my grandma tells me. I never knew my father. My mom left when I was little.

And when my grandma adopted me and my sister, my grandpa divorced her. I could never really count on anyone besides my grandma.

My grandma tells me I used to play outside for hours throwing a ball up and catching it all by myself. I’m a pretty shy person, so I didn’t

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make friends easily. I don’t know why she called Big Brothers Big Sisters for me; she’s a very proud person who doesn’t take charity. But I’m glad she did.

When Rod came into the picture, I was in third grade, and I guess I was pretty annoying. A little while ago, Rod told me I started every sentence by saying “Hey, you know what?” and I wanted to play games every time we went anywhere in the car.

To this day we still can’t agree on the place we went the day we met. The real story is we met at my house and then he took me to McDonald’s. He says we went to Wendy’s. Regardless of the place we went together, I am thankful for the role Rod Pender has played in my life. He has made a real difference.

One thing I truly appreciate is that Rod can take the worst situation and make it exciting. There’s always a life lesson to be learned.

For example, my senior year of football we only won one game.

But Rod encouraged me and told me these are the best years of my life. He was right!

Even though we lost eight games, football was the most fun I’ve had during my highschool years.

Rod came to about 90 percent of my games. He was proud of me and didn’t hesitate to let me know.

I am a more confident person since I began doing things with Rod. He has given and entrusted me with opportunities to grow. Rod has his own businesses, and I have learned many things from his entrepreneurship. I help him renovate houses for his real estate business.

This winter, I drove his snow plow for another of his businesses. I even take care of his son, Jarod.

Rod and his wife, Karen, saw that people in my family have never gone to college. They want me to strive for the best I can be. I know that means I need to get an education that will push me toward

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my goals. They’ve helped me set goals for college, find the colleges that would suit me best and visit them. If they didn’t push me to look for financial aid and scholarships, I wouldn’t do this stuff. But I know it’s worth it.

My life would have been very different had Rod not been in it.

I would probably have ended up working throughout my highschool experience, so I couldn’t play football or baseball. I would not be going to college, I am thankful but would for the role Rod do physical Pender has played in my life. labor and feel unhappy He has made a like many in real difference. my family.

My grandma says when my mom was in high school she stayed in town as long as possible to hang out with her friends and get into things she shouldn’t have. I might be that way now if I hadn’t had Rod to set a different example and to do things with and care about me.

I don’t want anybody feeling sorry for me, ‘cause I know there are people out there who have it a lot worse than I do. A lot worse.

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The Big Brothers/Big Sisters program is about the matching of friends – one adult to one child who needs companionship and encouragement.

Little Brothers and Little Sisters are children between the ages of 6 and 16, most of whom live with a single parent.

Little Brothers and Little Sisters are:

46 27 52

% less likely to start using drugs % less like to start drinking % less likely to skip a day of school

37 33

% less likely to skip a class % less likely to hit someone

But before Rod, I could never count on anyone.

When Rod Pender became my Big Brother, things drastically changed. When he told me he would do something, he really did it.

Rod and Karen had tried for a long time to have a baby, but couldn’t. Rod became my Big Brother to get a feeling for what it would be like to have a family. After a year, Jarod was born.

But Rod never turned his back on me. He and Karen kept me in their family, even taking me on vacations with them. Now I’m not only a Little Brother, but I have a little brother!

It makes me feel good to know there are people in this world I can count on. He’s not the type of person that would leave. Without

Rod I would never have had that experience.

One day I want to become a Big Brother to someone. I would want to wait until life is going in the right direction first, so I can be there like Rod has been for me. I wouldn’t want to all of a sudden have to stop and move somewhere else. Me and Rod’s commitment, what we have, that’s gonna be for life. I want to be able to do the same thing for another kid.

For more information, visit www.bbbs-lenawee.org

A time for sorrow few days after this story was written, and the photography shot, we received word that Ben’s grandmother, Sharon Creger, died unexpectedly.

Our writer, Nancy Schertzing, and our photographer, Jim Luning, were both struck by the warm and affectionate relationship Ben and Sharon shared. Sharon was very proud of Ben, and was happy he was going to attend college. His high-school graduation was an event she’d been anticipating with pride and pleasure.

Nancy and Jim, and all of us at FAITH, wish to thank Ben for sharing his story with us.

We extend our deepest sympathy to him and his sister, Laci, at this sorrowful time.

Kathye Herrera, of Big Brothers/Big Sisters of Lenawee County, told us that Rod has offered to take Ben into his home. Rod’s son, Jarod, when he learned of Sharon’s death, said, “Now Ben can come and live with us all the time.”

Laci’s Big Sister has also offered her home to Laci.

We at FAITH look at the volunteers of Big Brothers/Big Sisters with enormous admiration, and we thank them for the gift they are to children who need them.

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hen Caitlin Riley arrives on the campus of Kalamazoo College to begin her freshman year, she’s likely to be one new student who gets noticed.

She’s smart, so her professors will certainly notice her abilities and enjoy having Caitlin in class.

She’s athletic, so she’s likely to be recruited for an intramural soccer team or a flag football squad.

She’s friendly, so the girls in her dorm will appreciate her sense of humor, her willingness to listen and her deep reservoir of understanding.

She’s beautiful, so the guys on campus are sure to notice her sparkling smile and her expressive eyes.

Of course, those traits won’t be the first thing people will notice about Caitlin. Ever since she stopped wearing a wig, the first thing people notice is her baldness.

Yet, once they get past her unique appearance, the thing everyone will discover is Caitlin’s amazing outlook FAITH Magazine

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on life.

Caitlin suffers from alopecia areata, an auto-immune disorder that struck when she was only 12.

Alopecia attacks the hair follicles and can cause patchy hair loss or complete baldness. It even can extend to

the entire body. It can be temporary or permanent; it can strike repeatedly if hair growth returns.

More than 5 million Americans suffer from alopecia, the cause of which isn’t known. There is no cure, though researchers hope to find therapies that may alleviate its symptoms.

In Caitlin’s case, alopecia struck by causing her hair to fall out in patches. It began at a particularly difficult time of life – seventh grade – a time when most girls become a bit hair-obsessed. By her freshman year at Lansing Catholic Central High School, Caitlin had lost enough hair to take the necessary steps to receive a wig through the Locks of Love program.

Instead of the concerns that typically consume the thoughts of a teenage girl, Caitlin was faced with finding a wig that would hide her condition and make her look “normal.”

Caitlin turned to God when alopecia struck, but he didn’t seem to answer. “At first I prayed that it would stop,” she recalls. But God didn’t answer her prayers, so Caitlin gave up. “After a while, I didn’t pray at all.”

Caitlin blamed God for putting her through such a harrowing experience, and she admits she held a grudge for a long time.

At the same time, Caitlin hid her baldness, difficult as this was. “I played soccer so that was challenging,” she says. “I didn’t really put myself out there on the field the way I could have, because I was always worried about my wig moving around or falling off.” Once, in a high-school soccer game, the wig slipped back without her realizing how much of her head it revealed.

“No one said anything,” Caitlin says, “but it was really embarrassing.”

Caitlin always wore her wig in public; at home with her parents, Laura and Tom, she felt comfortable without it. “Only a few of my closest friends knew I was bald, and I would sometimes go without the

By Marybeth Hicks | Photography by Tom Gennara

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Ever E since she stopped wearing a wig, the first thing people notice is her baldness. Yet, once they get past her unique appearance, the thing everyone will discover is Caitlin’s amazing outlook on life. un

wig if we were hanging around my house, but I never went anywhere without wearing it.”

The wig hid her baldness, but it also hid her playfulness, her spontaneity and her spirit. “I just didn’t feel like I was really me,” she says of this time in her life.

A little more than a year ago, God seemed finally to answer Caitlin’s prayers, though not in a way she had expected.

It all started in her junior year when Caitlin struck up a friendship with Pamela Haan, the mother of one of Caitlin’s classmates. Caitlin had seen Pam around school wearing a scarf or a hat, seemingly unselfconscious about being bald.

Wondering if they had alopecia in common, Caitlin apI might be able to have a major proached her, influence. I might only to learn that Pam’s be able to help baldness was a lot of people caused by – maybe as a chemotherapy. motivational But seeing speaker.

Pam at Ash Wednesday Mass stirred Caitlin and inspired her. She admired the courage and peace she saw in Pam and decided it was time to come to terms with alopecia.

In the summer of 2005, Caitlin attended a conference for alopecia sufferers. “It was held out of state, but it turned out that we were already traveling nearby to attend a wedding at about the same time. It seemed a little too convenient that it all worked out,” Caitlin says. “I think it was a ‘God thing.’”

The conference, sponsored by the National Alopecia Areata Foundation, found Caitlin among hundreds of men, women and children who shared her condition – many of whom comfortably displayed their baldness. “It was amazing to be around all these people without wigs,” she recalls.

Being among others with alopecia gave Caitlin the courage to take her wig off, too. “It felt great! It was

liberating,” she says. After the first day of the conference, her wig stayed in the hotel room while Caitlin explored the limits of her newfound freedom. She even went swimming for the first time in more than five years.

Finally, Caitlin felt like herself again. She made the decision to stop wearing a wig. And that’s when God really took the reins.

Facing the prospect of starting her senior year at Lansing Catholic Central High School with a whole new persona, Caitlin decided to share her story with the school community. She wrote a letter to parents and students before the school year began to let people know that her baldness was caused by a disease and that she would be attending school without a wig. She didn’t want people to wonder or worry about her, and she hoped to avoid any teasing or taunts.

On the first day of the 20052006 academic year, Caitlin was the featured speaker at the school’s opening assembly. Standing alone and bald with more than 500 of her peers watching, she told her story – a remarkable journey of faith and courage.

Her schoolmates responded with a long and tearful standing ovation.

What happened next was a senior year filled with surprises.

Caitlin says it was “surreal, amazing, awesome.”

In October, she was crowned homecoming queen with a lovely tiara atop her lovely, hairless head.

The next day, her smiling face filled the front page of the Lansing State Journal, which carried her photo along with a cover story about her brave response to alopecia.

In March, she sang and danced on stage in the high school musical Anything Goes. She wore a wig for the show because it made

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Many people with alopecia do decide to wear a wig. Also, many people who are bald due to chemotherapy wish to maintain their usual appearance with hair.

Locks of Love is an organization dedicated to providing wigs to those who have lost their hair due to illness. Locks of Love wigs are made with donor hair, mostly from children who want to help others. Hair needs to be 10 inches long, in a braid or ponytail. For more information, visit www. locksoflove.org.

sense with the costume, but as soon as the performance was over, she took it off.

She was accepted to Kalamazoo College and learned the tiny liberal arts school already has a female student with alopecia, who also eschews a wig in favor of her true appearance.

“That has to be a ‘God thing,’” Caitlin says. “It’s a really small school to have two students with alopecia.”

Caitlin’s journey with alopecia forced her to take an unwelcome spiritual journey, but one she’s glad she experienced. “I still feel guilty that I stopped praying,” Caitlin admits.

Did she forgive God for what felt like unanswered prayers or for letting her have alopecia in the first place? “It’s not so much that I forgave him – that doesn’t feel like the right word. It’s more that I finally let it all go. I used to think it was his fault, but it’s not.”

By realizing that her friends and schoolmates accepted her so completely, Caitlin finally learned to accept herself and the life God created for her.

Like all college freshmen, Caitlin has big plans for the future.

She wants to major in psychology and minor in Spanish.

She wants to get married someday and have a family.

She envisions herself at her high school reunion 10 years from now. “I might be able to have a major influence,” she says. “I might be able to help a lot of people – maybe as a motivational speaker.”

She says if she ever writes a book about this time in her life, she could call it Letting Go: Accepting Yourself and God. For Caitlin, another chapter has just begun.

Visit Lansing Catholic Central High School at www.lcchs.org.

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ow almost 19, Matt Butler was 12 and in sixth grade when his mother died. “It was like seeing the perfect family destroyed,” he says.

“Everything had been great up to that point. I was devastated. I didn’t want to do anything. I basically took a day at a time. It was as if she were just downstairs and would come up any time. During that period, I had two dreams about her – she was calling me from heaven, saying everything was going to be all right.”

It happened after the 5 p.m. Mass at St. Robert Parish in Flushing, on Dec. 20, 1999. When Matt and his family had finished eating pizza, his parents and younger sister went out for a walk. After going about 100 yards, his mom complained of light-headedness, but she didn’t want to go back because she felt it was clearing up. After another 100 yards, Jan Butler suddenly collapsed and stopped breathing. Matt’s father, Lyndol Butler, did CPR before the ambulance arrived.

The hospital’s cardiologist told Lyndol there wasn’t much hope. Jan had gone too long without oxygen, especially since they discovered that she had a previously undiagnosed, rare heart condition.

Jan lasted just long enough to see her children a final time.

The time that followed was not easy.

“Matt survived with the support of the extended family, with everyone pulling together,” Lyndol said.

For Lyndol, there was much questioning, feelings of abandonment and loneliness. “Focusing on the kids (which included Sam, nine, and Cathryn, six, at the time) got me through. Then for a period of time it felt as if I was going crazy. I lost my faith, my hope, and turned to alcohol. Now, thankfully, having gone through so much, my faith is strengthened again. I am proud of the way Matt never gave up on himself or on me.”

Nick Helmstetter, Matt’s best friend, was amazed how Matt handled things. “He was forced to grow,” Nick says. “When his father was going through FAITH Magazine

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life without his how Matt Butler coped with his mom’s death

tough times, Matt had to cook and take his siblings where they needed to go. God helped him a lot. I always felt like God took the place of his mother.”

Four years after his mother’s death, Matt was still carrying much of the grief inside, accord-

ing to Elaine Baur, the youth minister at St. Robert’s. “He never felt he could grieve with tears, and didn’t think his peers understood his loss. He asked to share about it at our retreat. When he finished, there wasn’t a dry eye.

The other kids responded with hugs, love, and support. And Matt told them to appreciate their parents because you never know when they will go.”

Matt says he still wonders,

By Bob Horning | Photography by Tom Gennara

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It was like seeing the perfect family destroyed. Everything had been great up to that point. I was devastated. I didn’t want to do anything. I basically took a day at a time. wa

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Matt and his dad. Lyndol says, “I am proud of the way Matt never gave up on himself or on me.”

almost seven years later, how different he would be if his mother were alive. “And I can’t answer the question of why it happened,” he says. “I can’t see myself ever knowing why.

“But I’m a stronger person because of it. I can handle situations better because now if something goes wrong, I know that nothing can be as bad as my mother dying. I’m able to encourage others going through difficul-

ties, and tell them that things will improve eventually.

“I feel I can lean on God when I need to because he is always there. I remember especially praying a lot for my dad to get better. It was sad to see him crying. And now he is better. I pray in bed at night, reviewing the day, kind of like an examination of conscience. I also ask for hugs for my mom, and from her.”

Matt is known for the five-min-

Rainbows is a program to help children dealing with devastating loss – usually a parent’s death or divorce. Rainbows is offered in many Catholic parishes or through Catholic Charities agencies. Through Rainbows, children learn to grieve and understand they are not alone.

For more information, contact your Catholic Charities agency, or visit www. rainbows.org.

a mother’s love Father Cecilio talks about the loss of the most important woman in his life

A Our Catholic faith teaches us that the bonds of affection we form with those we love do not end in death. Our relationship simply enters a new phase.

priest’s relationship with his mother can be quite close. Not having a wife, a priest’s mother may become for him the “woman” in his life. This was the case with me. My mother died on Feb.13, 2006, exactly one year after she came to live in the rectory with me. The bond my mother and I had took on a unique dynamic when I began to clean her blood. A parishioner and I were trained three times a week for 12 weeks on how to purify her blood through a process called hemodialysis. Having this procedure done at home is relatively new. The majority of patients have to go to a clinic or to a hospital for this procedure. My mother’s first treatment

was on Valentine’s Day, 2005. Each treatment was a five-hour commitment three times a week.

The process is complicated and detailed; I made an error on one occasion that forced me to throw out 48 ounces of my mother’s blood. While my mother was fine, the experience had a profound impact on me. It felt like a part of my soul had been crushed.

Living with my mother – cooking for her, feeding her, cleaning her and purifying her blood strengthened the strong bond we already shared with each other. She was truly the “woman” of my life, the one who once cleaned me and looked after me when I was ill. Having never

ute videos he presents at the annual retreat for his youth group.

“He uses humor,” Baur says, “but through it he gets serious concepts across in a unique way that reaches a broad cross-section of the kids there.

“Matt brings a light-hearted element to the group. He is good at making people feel comfortable.” “ I love him like a brother,” said Helmstetter. “He is the best friend I could have asked for.

He suffered through a time of tragedy and grief. He has grown up (for the most part) without a mother. She wasn’t there to see him off to school, to attend his athletic contests, or to hold him when a girl broke his heart. He sacrificed much of his childhood and adolescence for those around him – his family, our parish and the community as a whole. His loss was our gain. He’s always looking out for others. He seems to know how you feel even if you don’t tell him.” abandoned me in my hour of need, I was not about to abandon her in her time of need. Our Catholic faith teaches us that the bonds of affection we form with those we love do not end in death. Our relationship simply enters a new phase. It was similar to leaving home for the first time. I had to let go of the past while embracing the “new” relationship that emerged as a result of being on my own.

When my mother died, I had to once again let go of the past while embracing the “new” relationship that emerged as a result of her new life with God and all the saints in heaven. My mother’s greatest lesson was teaching us how to pray for God’s will. She never prayed that her son would become a priest, nor was it her desire. Her only prayer was that God’s will would be completed. Mom, I thank you for your love. I love you and pray for that day when we will be reunited once again. – Fr. Cecilio Reyna

Visit www.dioceseoflansing.org to find out more about youth ministry in our diocese.

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oe Gordon, a sophomore at Eastern Michigan University, has been attending retreats at Bethany House since it opened in 2001.

The facility, located on the grounds of the St. Francis Retreat Center in DeWitt, is dedicated to facilitating the spiritual growth of young Catholics. Here is Joe’s description of how that mission has played out in his own life.

changed my life how Joe Gordon’s faith grew through youth retreats

My youth group at St. Andrew Catholic Church in Saline was one of the first groups to visit Bethany House.

I was a freshman in high school, and for the theme of our retreat, we had Ephesians 1:9-10 printed on black T-shirts, with a drawing of a hand reaching down from the clouds holding a clock. “He has made known to us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure that he set forth in Christ, as a plan for the fullness of time, to gather up all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.”

For me, that Scripture has been true. I have grown in my faith, but it has taken time.

When I went to Bethany House for that first experience, I was with a large, rowdy group of

By Margaret Ann Cross | Photography by Christine Jones

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You have to try to build a bridge from your experience at the retreat house to the real Yo al world, because your relationship with God goes much further than any building. wo

freshman, and we went crazy, running around the hallways and going from one room to another. It wasn’t the most spiritual retreat, but looking back, it was about fellowship.

Because of it, I got more involved with my youth group at church. I made friends, and my friends kept me in it from the beginning. I had always gone to church with my family, but I had been indifferent toward it for a long time. I didn’t get the purpose of it. It began to become more real, though, as life went on.

After I was confirmed, I started with working with younger kids who were going through the confirmation program. It was the first time I became active in my faith. When I started teaching the faith, I really began to understand things more. Still, on my sophomore retreat at Bethany House, I was distracted. My girlfriend and I were holding hands and cuddling during talks. It was probably just obnoxious.

Bethany House has watched me grow and helped shape my faith. I have taken many Rosary walks through the grounds, looking at the statues and praying. And I have often been called to go to the eucharistic chapel to just sit, relax and talk with God. It’s nice and peaceful.

It’s been great to get to know the priests who come to Bethany House. Quite a few retired priests live on the grounds and are often there to celebrate the sacrament of reconciliation. After confession, they stay and eat meals with us.

We’ve even had priests like Father Jerry Vincke play football with us. They are all downto-earth, and it makes the vocation seem less foreign. Some of my

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Bethany House is celebrating its fifth anniversary! The spiritual life center for the Diocese of Lansing was built for the new millennium through the generosity of the people of the diocese and the Knights of Columbus. It is situated on the grounds of St. Francis Retreat Center in DeWitt, which is also celebrating an anniversary this year – its 50th.

Bethany House’s original director was Father Jerry Vincke; it is now guided by Father James Conlon.

Father James leads pre-packaged confirmation retreats; parish directors of religious education and coordinators of youth ministry may also plan and direct their own.

• 10,500 students have spent weekend retreats at Bethany House.

• 7,000 students have attended day-long retreats/days of prayer.

• 52 double-occupancy rooms are available.

• 95 acres of beautiful grounds surround both retreat centers.

friends from high school and college are going to become priests.

Now that I am in college, I am still leading and attending retreats at Bethany House. Showing kids Christ, you see Christ in them. And then letting other people show you Christ, you see Christ in yourself.

retreat opened my mind to everything that was going to happen this year. It gave me more of an ability to experience God.

I tell people that when they are on retreat, they should just expect to experience God in some way. Being on retreat is being away from the world for a weekend. But you have to try to build a bridge from your experience The first retreat with my colat the retreat house to lege parish seemed odd. In high school, we The retreat opened the real world, because always decorated, we my mind to every- your relationship with thing that was go- God goes much further always had a theme, ing to happen this than any building. and we always did things in a specific way. year. It gave me I have been thinking St. Andrew’s is trying to more of an ability get kids excited about to experience God. about all of this and putting together an their faith, so it tends to opening talk for the next retreat be more of a “Hoo-rah! Let’s get I am going to help lead if things rowdy and go for Christ.” go as planned. I’m a film major, so I have also made a video to open But Holy Trinity does things a the talk. It’s set to a rock song and lot more quietly. We did a lot of takes a look at secular views about thinking and reflecting and writing religion. I want to convey that our in our journals. But it was great. I relationship with God shouldn’t be realized that I had put God in the viewed as a chore or a set of rules. box of St. Andrew Parish, but you can’t confine him. He can work in We should just be seeking him. whatever way he chooses to. The

For more information, visit www.stfrancis.ws and click on Bethany House.

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is God! Even more wonderful is that God wants this close connection to happen between us and God. Jesus said “Whoever loves me will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our dwelling with him.” (John 14:23) One of the great mysteries of our faith is that God dwells within us. Deep within us is the ideal “chat room” where we meet God. Modern technology can connect us with people all around the world, but it cannot connect us to God. Fortunately, God has ‘wired us’ for God. Our relationship with God is the most important relationship of our lives, for it is the one that saves us.

In a chat room with God prayer is our “instant message” Jesus

I

remember the first time I exwith perienced IM (For those who may be computer illiterate, that stands for “instant messaging”). It was strange to know that a friend on another computer far away was communicating with me through the Internet in real time. I would type something, then a minute or so later, a response would show up on the screen. Not so long ago, I witnessed the first marriage of two people who met over the Internet in a Christian chat room. They fell in love. It led to a face-to-face meeting and then to a lifelong commitment before God. It is wonderful to see relationships grow. Love deepens. People begin to connect emotionally and FAITH Magazine

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spiritually. We can feel very close to another person. God wants this for all of us, for where there is true love, there is the kingdom and there

Many people have struggles as they build this relationship – hang in there! God is pursuing us and meets us where we are. There is a great saint I have grown to admire who had lots of trouble forming his own relationship with God. His name is St Augustine.

Augustine grew up in North Africa and had a lot of freedom as a teenager. When he was 16, he met a girl and fell in love. Within two years, he had a child with her out of wedlock. He knew he had acted badly, but continued to struggle with all the temptations and freedom of his culture. Later,

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Aug Augustine realized that his own immoral behavior was creating the block. He would pray, “Lord give me chastity and temperance, but not yet.” It was kind of a joke, but also a real expression of his inner struggle.

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Our spiritual exercise this month is to spend time in the God chat room!

1

All relationships need an investment of time.

Just like there is an investment of time in Internet chatting, make an investment of time to talk to God. I suggest at least 15 minutes a day or more to begin.

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‘‘

Find the place where you can pray to God. For the sake of this analogy, I will call this place the “God chat room.” This is very important. The God chat room is a quiet place where you can be alone with just you and God. It should be a place where you can be yourself without any worries.

OK, once you have found a place to pray, the exciting part begins!

3

Consider who you are talking to. Some people get nervous at this stage because they are not sure what to do next.

Questions arise: How can I speak to God? What do I say?

It is OK to have these worries.

Put them aside for now. Think instead about who you are and who you are about to talk to.

You are God’s child. God loves you. God does not change his mind about that. God is not fickle, one day loving you and the next not.

4

Begin your prayer “In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit ... ” I would suggest praying the Our Father. When the Apostles saw Jesus praying one time, they wanted to learn how to pray too, so Jesus gave them the prayer we call the Our Father. It has everything in it we need.

• It starts with us thinking of God – Our Father who art in heaven.

• We praise God – hallowed be thy name.

• We ask for the gift that contains all others – thy kingdom come.

• We ask for the grace to surrender ourselves – thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

• We ask for what we need each day – give us today our daily bread.

• We ask for mercy – forgive us our trespasses (sins).

• We ask to be merciful – as we forgive those who trespass against us.

• We acknowledge our tendencies to sin – lead us not into temptation.

• We ask that evil be vanquished – deliver us from evil.

• We end by affirming our faith in all that we just said – Amen! (“I believe” “Let it be so!”)

‘‘

he would see this “freedom” to indulge in sensuality and pleasure as true slavery. St Augustine tried to talk to God during this time, but he couldn’t connect – God seemed very distant. Augustine realized that his own immoral behavior was creating the block. He would pray, “Lord give me chastity and temperance, but not yet.” It was kind of a joke, but also a real expression of his inner struggle. He was in deep pain and yearned for the love only God could give. One day, he was with his young son and some friends and was experiencing sadness and frustration over his inner struggle. He sat down underneath a fig tree and was crying to God over his trouble. Then he heard a voice of a young child sing, “Tolle, lege,” which means, “Take up and read.”

The voice captured him – he knew it was God. Augustine took up the Sacred Scriptures that were right beside him and there, from St Paul’s letter to the Romans, he read, “Let us conduct ourselves properly as in the day, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in promiscuity and licentiousness, not in rivalry and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the desires of the flesh.”

Augustine’s life changed dramatically at this point, and so did his prayer life! He learned to talk to God. Here is one of the many beautiful passages that St Augustine wrote about his experience in his book, The Confessions: Late have I loved you, Beauty ever ancient and ever new! Late have I loved you! ... You shone upon me; your radiance enveloped me; you put my blindness to flight. You shed your fragrance about me; I drew breath and now I gasp for your sweet odor. I tasted you, and now I hunger and thirst for you. You touched me, and I am inflamed with love of your peace. (Book X, 27) Augustine learned how to have a deep, lasting, rich, fruitful prayer life with God. So can we.

Your goal is to meet God, not see how fast you can say the words.

Listen. If you get stuck, you can tell God so, “Dear God I am stuck.

Help me!”

Pray slowly. Don’t worry about rushing to get through. Your goal is to meet God, not see how fast you can say the words. Listen. If you get stuck, you can tell God so, “Dear God I am stuck. Help me!” I would encourage you to read a Scripture passage sometime during your prayer for it is God’s word to us. Reflect on what you have read.

End by thanking God for your time of prayer and pray for the grace to pray again tomorrow. Keep the dialogue going. Some people have found it helpful to keep a prayer journal and record what occurs during prayer.

Prayer, like all relationships, takes time. Don’t give up.

The reward is a lifelong, life-changing, life-sustaining, life-saving relationship with God. – Fr. Bill Ashbaugh

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things to do: An annulment workshop is being offered on Sat., Sept. 16 at the St. Francis Retreat Center in DeWitt. The workshop is intended for anyone who is thinking about submitting a case to the Tribunal.

To register, contact the retreat center at 517.669.8321.

St. Patrick Parish, Ann Arbor will celebrate its 175th anniversary on the weekend of Oct. 21-22.

“Set sail” on Oct. 20, 6 p.m.-midnight, for the St. Patrick School 12th Annual Benefit Auction.

The event will take place at Crystal Gardens, 5768 E. Grand River, Genoa Township. Reserve your seats by calling 810.229.7946.

Tickets are $85.00 each and include dinner and dancing.

The first all-state Catholic crosscountry meet will be hosted by Lansing Catholic Central High School on the grounds of the St. Francis Retreat Center in DeWitt.

More than 500 runners are expected to attend the event on Aug. 26. This event for the state’s 32 Catholic high schools will be hosted annually by Lansing Catholic.

Sept. Readings Sunday, September 3 Twenty-second Sunday in Ordinary Time Deut 4:1-2,6-8 Ps 15:2-5 James 1:1718,21b-22,27 Mark 7:1-8,1415,21-23 Sunday, September 10 Twenty-third Sunday in Ordinary Time Isa 35:4-7a Ps 146:7-10 James 2:1-5 Mark 7:31-37 Sunday, September 17 Twenty-fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time Isa 50:5-9a Ps 116:1-6,8-9 James 2:14-18 Mark 8:27-35 Sunday, September 24 Twenty-fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time Wis 2:12,17-20 Ps 54:3-8 James 3:16-4:3 Mark 9:30-37

A book discussion series, Demons, Golems and Dybbuks: Monsters of the Jewish Imagination, will take place at Siena Heights University beginning Sept. 20. Other meeting dates are Oct. 11 and 25, Nov. 15, and Dec. 6. Pre-register by calling 517.264.7155. Free.

St. Mary Parish, Chelsea is hosting Beloved Disciple: The Life and Ministry of John, a women’s Bible study, Tuesday mornings from 10 a.m.-noon.

Another group will meet Wednesday afternoons, 12:152:15 p.m. Cost is $20 and includes book. Begins Sept. 12 and 13. Call 734.475.8164.

september café events

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Here’s what’s happening at the St. Francis Retreat Center in DeWitt: Day of Prayer for Catholic School Teachers, August 25 Call the Retreat Center at 866.669.8321 Using Scripture to Teach our Faith, A Day of Prayer for Catechists, September 9 Presented by Kevin Perotta, the day will include a light breakfast, lunch and the opportunity for reconciliation and Mass.

John Michael Talbot in concert!

The renowned Catholic singer will perform Thurs., Oct. 12 at 7 p.m., Hartland Performing Arts Center.

Tickets are $25 general and $40 gold seating. Call 800.965.9324 or order online at www.itickets.com.

The diocese is offering a training day for prison ministry on Sept. 20, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. No charge and lunch is included. If you are a prison volunteer or are interested in becoming one, please call Colleen at 517.342.2560 or e-mail candrews@dioceseoflansing.org.

St. Peter Parish, Eaton Rapids, is hosting a Life in the Spirit seminar on Sept. 23, beginning at 8 a.m. The day ends with Mass at 5 p.m. Everyone who is interested in increasing their faith is welcome. The day is free and lunch is provided. Call 517.628.3948 to RSVP.

Eucharist: The Source and Summit of the Christian Life, an eight-week symposium at St. Mary, Chelsea – Tuesdays, 78:30 p.m. or Thursdays, 1-2:30 p.m. Begins Sept. 19 and 21.

Call 734.475.8164.

Catholics Returning Home, St. Mary Parish, Adrian, Oct. 10-Dec. 7. Call Jackie at 517.436.6370.

Embryonic Stem Cells and Cloning, a talk by Father Tad Pacholczyk, Sept, 13, 7:30 p.m. at St. Thomas Aquinas Parish, East Lansing. Call 517.351.7215

Old St. Patrick Parish, Ann Arbor, is hosting its 30th Annual Labor Day Festival, Sept.

2-5. Features games, entertainment, beer and wine tent, Bingo, bazaar, pig roast and much more. Visit www.oldstpatrick-annarbor.com.

Christopher West speaks on Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body, Oct. 27-28 at the Paw Paw Performing Arts Center in Paw Paw, Michigan.

Cost is $35 per person before Sept. 15. For more information, contact the Diocese of Kalamazoo, 269.349.8714.

St. Joseph Parish, Ypsilanti, on Whittaker, will hold its Harvest Festival and Chicken Barbecue on Sun., Sept. 10, noon to 6 p.m. Games, rides, raffle, auction and dinner.

Audio tapes available. The office of Ministry with Persons with disAbilities has audio tapes for FAITH Magazine, $15 for one year; Peace I Leave With You, by Bishop Povish, $10.95; Entering the Heart of God – Praying the Lord’s Prayer in our Day by Father Charlie Irvin, $17.99.

Call 517.342.2497 or e-mail jdavis@dioceseoflansing.org.

An Arts and Crafts Extravaganza is being sponsored by Our Lady of Guadalupe Parish, Flint on Sat., Sept. 23 in the San Juan Diego Activity Center. Admission is $2. Mexican food and beverages available.

Visit www.ologflint.org.

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my child is NOT my best friend

Sharing the wealth In the diocesan pastoral planning process, parishes have introduced initiatives or renewed their emphasis on existing programs in ways that have helped achieve parish objectives. The diocesan pastoral planning department has collected some of these great ideas that may provide a wealth of information for other parishes and groups. They are listed on the diocesan Web site and a new feature is introduced each month. This month, the focus is on A Banner Day for Ministries, a program at St. John Parish, Fenton, which highlights parish ministries by depicting them on colorful satin banners during all the Masses on one weekend. Visit www.dioceseoflansing.org for more information.

Sister Marlene Taylor, AD retires Sister Marlene Taylor, AD, Sister Marlene Taylor, center. who served the Diocese of Lansing in the office of Ministry with Persons with disAbilities, retired June 30. Sister Marlene actively supported the creation of Rainbow Homes, supported-living communities for adults who were mentally disabled. She also facilitated the diocese’s program to make FAITH Magazine and other publications available on tape for those who have visual impairments.

Sister Marlene was awarded the Dr. Albert Wheeler Seeker of Justice Award in 2004.

Blessed Sacrament Church celebrates 50 years Blessed Sacrament Parish, Burton, commenced a year of celebration for their semicentennial anniversary with an outdoor Mass on June 18, followed by a parish picnic. The parish will end its yearlong celebration with another Mass on June 10, 2007. They are trying to locate parishioners, students, teachers or religious members who have been part of this parish’s history. If you would like to be part of the celebration, call Amanda at 810.742.3151.

St. Mary School, Swartz Creek, closes At the weekend Masses on July 1-2, Father Amos Wischmeyer announced with great sadness the closing of St. Mary Queen of Angels School in Swartz Creek.

Despite the intense efforts of Father Wischmeyer and the parish community, and their generous financial support of the school, decreasing enrollment made it impossible to continue. The school opened in September 1953.

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how being a parent is different from being a friend

Parents and children have a hierarchical relationship.

There is a difference in authority, and sometimes parents make difficult decisions in their children’s best interests; remember those first vaccinations?

I

enjoyed watching Jessica Fletcher of Murder She Wrote solve crimes, and now I watch Monk, so I was a willing participant when my son Ryan wanted to analyze my fingerprints after dinner. The “maggot tales” from his high-school forensics class had to wait until we were far from the table, however! For the final exam, students searched for clues in a “crime scene.” Later, I learned that the case involved a murder victim who had been running a lucrative pornographic video business. Distasteful clues to the victim’s hidden life had been planted for students to discover. I decided to contact school officials about the final, much to my son’s dismay. But parents and their teenage children aren’t friends, as much as we love each another.

Parents and friends have different types of relationships.

Parents and children have a hierarchical relationship. There is a difference in authority, and sometimes parents make difficult decisions in their children’s best interests; remember those first vaccinations? Throughout their lives, our children will interact with others in hierarchical relationships, such as supervisors at work. With friends, we interact as equals. Each type of relationship is enriching.

Everyday life issues involve limits.

Many bids for independence are negotiated. As “friendly” as these discussions are, parents still set limits. Daily life helps us realize that we are parents, not friends. The cleanliness of a teen’s bedroom is often a sore spot. Whose space is this anyway?

Listen and be ready to compromise. For example, some clutter might be OK, but bug-attracting leftover food might not be. Set consequences that you won’t be too tired to enforce!

Activities of teens need to be monitored.

As they get older, teens make more decisions. It helps them become competent adults. Experience can be a great teacher when something doesn’t work and you, as parent, are there to help fix it. To become self-reliant, a person makes choices. But this takes place within parental safety limits. When parents don’t monitor the activities of their teens, because of indulgence (we’re like best friends!) or indifference, then it is actually more difficult for teens to mature.

Proverbs (29:17) says, “Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.” Encourage your adolescents to walk in the light and to listen for the whisper of the Holy Spirit in their lives. – Dr. Cathleen McGreal

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Who’s who in Diocese of Lansing ministry?

Making a joyful noise unto the Lord

Tim Metts is the director of the Office of Restorative Justice at the Diocese of Lansing, where he helps address the needs of victims, offenders and society. The bulk of his ministry is to those in prison. This is a retirement career for Tim – he spent 25 years with the Lansing Police Dept. and was the chief of police in Leslie for four years. Tim felt a call to work for the church, but didn’t know where, until his wife, Connie, saw an ad for the restorative justice position in the Catholic Times. Tim and Connie are members of St. Peter Parish, Eaton Rapids. They have five adult children and 11 grandchildren.

Bill Kassel, a Diocese of Lansing resident, has released an album of original Gospel songs, On This Mountain. The collection attempts to use the devices of pop culture to encourage thinking about faith and the questions faced by believers. Kassel says this is not liturgical music; it’s “Catholic good-time music” – designed to be fun, uplifting and thought-provoking. For more information, visit www.companypublications.com.

Little-known fact: Tim sings and plays the guitar for St. Peter’s Praise and Worship group.

Tim has a long-standing love of music; when he was in college, he sang in a barbershop quartet.

St. Louis Center awarded accreditation The Commission on the Accreditation of Rehabilitation Facilities announced that St. Louis Center, Chelsea has been accredited for three years for its residential care services for persons with developmental disabilities. This international accreditation is the highest level that can be awarded an organization.

2006 Catholic Apologetics Conference The 2006 Catholic Apologetics Conference was held March 18 at St. Mary Parish, Westphalia. More than 800 people from around the state attended; speakers included Steve Ray, Gary Michuta, Rod Bennett, Mark Shea and Roy Schoeman. To hear the talks, visit www. mhtchurch.com.

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Sister Suzanne Schreiber makes final profession as an Adrian Dominican sister Suzanne Schreiber, OP, celebrated the Rite of Perpetual Profession as an Adrian Dominican sister on July 9 in Holy Rosary Chapel in Adrian. A Detroit native, Sister Sue will begin ministering as the communications coordinator at Regina Dominican High School in Wilmette, Ill. Sister Sue has taught art, photography and religious studies, and has served as a campus minister.

Educational Outfitters Educational Outfitters, a new school uniform provider, has opened in Lansing. The store is owned by the Wegener family, who also own the Rosary Book and Gift Shoppe. Both stores are located in the same building. The new business is the only school uniform store in Lansing.

Wendy’s wonderful kids The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption issued a grant to support a foster care adoption recruiter at St. Vincent Catholic Charities, Lansing. Currently, there are nearly 50 children available for adoption from foster care in the area served by St. Vincent Catholic Charities.

Lansing Catholic Central High School enrollment rises The incoming freshman class at Lansing Catholic Central High School comprises 159 students, marking a 20% increase over last year’s freshman class. The school has undertaken a large renovation project that has included technology updates as well as building improvements.

This moment in time …

FAITH offers a brief look at significant moments in Michigan’s church history.

1641 – Fathers Isaac Jogues (right) and Charles Raymbault, Jesuits, explore the Sault Ste. Marie area, opening the region around Lake Superior to the French.

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Copeland

Priest transfers in the Diocese of Lansing The bishop has announced the following transfers for the Diocese of Lansing:

• Rev. Robert Copeland from Cummings pastor of St. Mary, Flint to pastor of St. Pius X, Flint • Rev. Paul Cummings (retired) to temporary administrator of Holy Redeemer, Burton Fain • Rev. Lewis Eberhart from parochial vicar of St. Joseph, Howell to administrator of St. Catherine Laboure, Concord • Rev. John Fain from parochiGallagher al vicar of St. Gerard, Lansing to pastor of St. Paul, Owosso • Rev. Philip Gallagher from pastor of St. Michael, Flint to temporary leave of absence for health reasons (Dcn. Ron Groshek Rowe will serve as temporary administrator.)

• Rev. Msgr. Richard Groshek from pastor of St. Pius X, Flint to senior priest status Kolenski • Rev. Robert Kolenski from pastor of St. Paul, Owosso to senior priest status • Rev. Prabhu Lakra to parochial vicar of St. Gerard, Lansing Robideau • Rev. Louis Madey from pastor of St. Joseph, Jackson to vice rector and dean of formation, Ss. Cyril and Methodius Seminary, Orchard Lake Santhiyagu • Rev. Jeffrey Robideau to pastor of St. Joseph, Jackson • Rev. Arockiyasamy Santhiyagu, MSFS from parochial vicar of St. Mary Cathedral to Weber pastor of St. Mary, Flint • Rev. Eric Weber from pastor of St. Catherine Laboure, Concord to leave of absence for continued studies in Rome, Italy for the 2006-2007 academic year Aduba • Rev. John Aduba from paroNot pictured: chial vicar at Queen of the MiRev. Eberhart raculous Medal Parish, Jackson Rev. Lakra to Chaplain at Genesys Health Rev. Madey System, Grand Blanc

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to wish, to hope

what’s the difference?

If we live our lives doing nothing but selfish things, we will be taking God’s name (his presence, power and love) in vain if we think he’s going to save us in spite of ourselves.

W

hat’s the difference between wishing for something and hoping for something?

The distinction between the two is important for all of us, teens as well as adults.

A wish is something we want, but is based only on our desire – something we think we want. Hope, however, is based on an expectation that is grounded in reality. Hope is more confident than mere wishful thinking.

Here’s an example. If you’re facing an exam in a particular course you’re taking in school and you haven’t studied the material, you can only wish for an “A” on the exam.

But if you have in fact seriously studied the material, you can hope for an “A.” As for you who are parents, you may wish that your youngster does well in school or in life, but your hope for her is in vain if you have not trained her well in study habits or in developing life skills.

The same is true when it comes to our spiritual lives. We can wish that we shall get to heaven after we die, but our hope for heaven will be in vain unless we have spent some serious energy in developing our relationship with God. If we live our lives doing nothing but selfish things, we will be taking God’s name (his presence, power and love) in vain if we think he’s going to save us in spite of ourselves.

What happens when hope is denied?

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise, she learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness, she learns justice.

If a child lives with security, she learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval, she learns to like herself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, she learns to find love in the world.

– Author Unknown

Are we living in wishful thinking, or are we living in hope? It’s a distinction with a difference.

– Fr. Charles Irvin

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Annual Evangelization Appeal• Sept. 24 Help the Diocese of Lansing and your parish reach out with FAITH Magazine, the televised Outreach Mass and more.

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8/1/06 1:44:05 PM