November 2006

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THE MAGAZINE OF THE CATHOLIC DIOCESE OF LANSING

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received the sacrament of confirmation during my sophomore year in high school. I don’t know if that would have happened if not for some sage advice offered to me by my mother just a few weeks before confirmation.

All of us have had

Like most confirmation candidates, I had attended classes, done my homework, gone on retreat and had undertaken a couple of service projects – all as part of my preparation for confirmation. I was reluctant to schedule my final interview in advance of confirmation. Somehow, I had gotten it in my mind that, by that point, I should have had some sort of big “lightning bolt” experience of God’s presence in my life. In all honesty, up to that time in my life, nothing could have been further from the truth. Reflecting on my vast life history at the age of 14, my experience of God seemed pretty mundane – no lightning bolts that I could recall. Instead, it seemed to me that God was being rather quiet in this whole ordeal of preparing for confirmation. My sophomore logic told me that since there had been no bolts of lightning, there was little point in requesting the sacrament until such time that God zapped me, letting me know the time was right.

This whole state of affairs was brought to my mom’s attention when my small group leader for confirmation preparation called to make sure I scheduled my final interview.

When asked why I had not yet taken the initiative to do so, I explained my reasoning to my mother. Instead of reading me the riot act, Mom reminded me about what has since become one of my favorite passages in Scripture: (“The angel of the Lord) said (to Elijah), ‘Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.’ Now there was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.” (1 Kings 19:11-13) I had allowed doubt to creep into my mind with regard to my readiness to be confirmed.

My mom’s well-timed advice helped to dispel that doubt. There have been many times since when I have learned to listen for God’s still voice rather than allowing myself to be distracted by the wind, the earthquake or the fire.

All of us have moments of doubt – is this what I’m truly meant to do with my life? Is this the choice that will be best for everyone involved? What if I don’t do or say anything?

All of us have had moments when someone’s well-timed words of advice – often inspired

by God – have helped us to overcome that doubt so that we are able to continue growing more deeply in relationship with God and with one another. And so our journey in FAITH continues.

moments when someone’s welltimed words of advice – often inspired by God – have helped us to overcome that doubt so that we are able to continue growing more deeply in relationship with God and with one another.

In a chat room with God prayer is our “instant message” with Jesus

– Fr. Dwight Ezop is editor of FAITH Magazine and pastor of the Catholic Community of St. Jude.

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FAITH Magazine November 2006 Liturgical Calendar: All Saints (Holy Day of Obligation) Nov. 1 | Commemoration of All the Faithful Departed (All Souls) Nov. 2 | St. Martin de Porres, Religious Nov. 3 | St. Charles Borromeo, Bishop N

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c o v e r s t o r y Giving a kidney & giving thanks Father Tom Helfrich needed a kidney transplant. He told his fellow priests, and asked for their prayers. Father Ken McKenna did more than pray – he offered one of his kidneys. Read more about how these two men – brothers in Christ – became truly bonded through Father Ken’s amazing gift of life. – Bob Horning

inside

what you’ll get out of this issue in the know with Fr. Joe 6 Dear Fr. Joe: Is cremation OK? – Fr. Joseph Krupp

special report 8 Islam 101 – A brief look at the religion of Islam and Christians’ history with people who call God “Allah.”

work life 9 Should I stay or should I go?

How do I know if it’s the right time to switch jobs? – Tim Ryan

your marriage matters 10 She says: his kids get more than mine. He says: my kids don’t get enough. What do they do?

– Deb McCormack

the parenting journey 11 Grieving parenthood – coping with the loss of a baby.

– Dr. Cathleen McGreal

theology 101 p r o f i l e my marriage ended, now what? Karen Schavey found a new life with the help of Beginning Experience. Just when Karen thought she and her husband were ready for a happy retirement, he said he wanted a divorce. Find out how Karen found new life and new hope through Beginning Experience.

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Voting Guide How will you vote in 2006? Our voting guide gives you some points to ponder as you decide.

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12 A step-by-step guide through the church’s liturgies. – Elizabeth Solsburg

culture 22 A candle for remembering the ones we have loved and lost.

– Michelle Sessions DiFranco

– Margaret Ann Cross

p r o f i l e from bitter to brighter – how Cursillo transformed Gerry Rice’s life. Gerry Rice had some experiences that can make people become bitter. Find out how his life was transformed through his commitment to Christ and his experience of Cursillo. – Bob Horning

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spiritual fitness 24 The death of grief – those who sow in tears will reap with joy.

– Fr. Bill Ashbaugh

the last word 31 Heaven, purgatory, hell – where are we going? – Fr. Charles Irvin

shop Nov. 4 | The Dedication of the Lateran Basilica in Rome Nov. 9 | St. Leo the Great, Pope and Doctor Nov. 10 | St. Martin of Tours, Bishop Nov. 11 | St. Albert the Great, Bishop and Doctor Nov. 15

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The Magazine of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing

Most Reverend Carl F. Mengeling PUBLISHER

Rev. Charles Irvin FOUNDING EDITOR

November 2006 • Volume 7: Issue9

Rev. Dwight Ezop EDITOR IN CHIEF

Patrick M. O’Brien MANAGING EDITOR/CREATIVE DIRECTOR

Elizabeth Martin Solsburg ASSISTANT EDITOR/STAFF WRITER

Patrick Dally ART DIRECTOR/WEB DESIGNER

Jillane Job SUBSCRIPTIONS/SECRETARY

Rev. William Ashbaugh Cheval Breggins Margaret Ann Cross Michelle Sessions DiFranco Marybeth Hicks Elizabeth Johnson Rev. Joseph Krupp Tom and JoAnne Fogle Bob Horning Cathleen McGreal John Morris Rick and Diane Peiffer Tim Ryan Nancy Schertzing Allena Tapia Sara Teller Theresa McWilliams-Wessels CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Derek Melot Margaret Perrone PROOFREADING

Tom Gennara Christine Jones James Luning (cover) Phillip Shippert CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS

Vicki Bedard Wayne Case Michael Eichhorn Mary Jo Gillilland Diane Nowak Margaret Perrone Rev. Bernard Reilly James Rhadigan Ricardo Rodriguez Dcn. David Rosenberg Rev. James Swiat Peter Wagner Sharon Wimple ADVISORY BOARD

FAITH Publishing Ser vice Rev. Dwight Ezop

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AITH talked to the Diocese of Lansing finance officer, Tom Pastula, to ask about this year’s Diocesan Services Appeal (DSA).

What was our DSA goal and did we make it?

Our diocesan central services budget is more than $7 million for the coming year and our DSA goal was $5,127,000. Based on current gifts and pledges, we hope to receive $4,900,000, leaving us with a shortfall of $227,000.

Bishop Mengeling has said that we will not overspend – we will live within our means. This is responsible fiscal management.

they include things like Catholic Charities; and the offices for our Catholic schools, religious education and faith formation, and vocations.

This year, we have been blessed with an increase in seminarians studying for the priesthood.

Many of these men will be our pastors and parochial vicars over the course of the next few years.

Educating them to serve us necessitates a large, but vital, expense.

How are all the diocesan offices and services funded?

The majority of our operating budget comes from the people in the pews. We are dependent on DSA contributions to fund the many ministries and charities we support as a diocese.

How many parishes made their goals this year?

Of our 95 parishes, 47 reached or exceeded their goal, meaning that the majority did not.

CHAIRMAN

Patrick M. O’Brien PRESIDENT/CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER

Beverly Sherman SENIOR ACCOUNT MANAGER

Enomhen Odigie GRAPHIC/WEB DESIGN

Abby Wieber GRAPHIC DESIGNER

Patricia Oliver SECRETARY

Elizabeth Grodi Shannon Hoffman EDITORIAL INTERNS

InnerWorkings PRINT MANAGEMENT FAITHPublishingService.com FAITHTM (USPS 01993) is a publication of FAITH Publishing Service, Catholic Diocese of Lansing, 300 W. Ottawa, Lansing, MI 48933. The Diocese of Lansing edition is published monthly except for February and August. National and parish editions are published bimonthly. To purchase a subscription for the Diocese of Lansing edition, log onto FAITHmag.com or to purchase a subscription for the national/parish edition, log onto FAITHcatholic.com. If you have a change of address, please contact your parish. Periodicals postage paid at Lansing, MI or additional offices.

POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: FAITHTM, 209 Seymour Ave., Lansing, MI 48933. © FAITH Publishing Service.

FAITH is a trademark of FAITH Publishing Service.

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What ministries and charities does DSA fund?

The DSA special edition of FAITH that all our parishioners received describes many of them – but

Does this represent a trend?

Over the last several years, there has been a downward trend in the number of people who support the diocese financially. Those who do give to the DSA are giving larger gifts, but fewer people

are contributing. We are down more than 1,200 gifts from a year ago. Typically, we receive gifts from 36.4 percent of the people.

This year we are at 34.75 percent.

What do other dioceses do when this happens?

In most dioceses, if the bishop’s appeal does not reach its goal, the parishes must make up the shortfall out of their coffers. The Diocese of Lansing’s appeal does not work that way – it is a true appeal, meaning that the parishes do not contribute to make up for what their parishioners’ have not given.

What will this mean in the short term?

We have asked all our offices to cut their ministry budgets.

Some open positions, such as the director of Hispanic ministry, will remain unfilled for at least a year.

Some services will be suspended, like the Family Mini-Grant Program, which provides small grants directly to parishes for programs such as Rainbows (support for children whose parents divorced), parish health ministry teams, parish resource libraries

St. Margaret of Scotland Nov. 16 | St. Gertrude, Virgin Nov. 16 | St. Elizabeth of Hungary, Religious Nov. 17 | The Dedication of the Basilica

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and many more. Our subsidies to Catholic Charities will be cut.

Additionally, FAITH Magazine’s subsidy will be reduced.

What does this mean for the future?

The diocese relies on this money to respond to the needs the parishes have voiced through the pastoral planning process.

Critical positions will be left open and ministries will not be able to present the kinds of services they have in the past.

If this long-term trend continues, we will have to eliminate services we currently provide.

We will not have the resources to do the jobs that need doing.

Do you have anything else you’d like to say?

We really appreciate the sacrifices of the people who gave and it is moving to see the number of prayer requests that come in with the DSA contributions. We honor those requests in our daily prayers.

We need to remember that we are part of a local parish, the diocesan church and the universal church. All three deserve the support of all of us.

It’s never too late to give.

If you’d like to contribute to this year’s DSA, please send your gift to DSA, 300 W. Ottawa St., Lansing, MI 48933

The Diocese of Lansing makes full financial reports available to all of its members. If you would like to see reports from the past several years, please go to www.dioceseoflansing.org.

The Diocesan Coordinating Commission has completed its work on the review instruments which will be used in each of our 97 faith communities. The review instruments will assess the life and mission of each parish and school. Each faith community will participate in the process. When each faith community completes its review, the process then moves to a regional level, where the needs of each faith community will be reviewed in light of the needs of the region and the goals of the diocesan pastoral plan. Finally, the Diocesan Coordinating Commission will review the results of each faith community, each regional review and make recommendations to the Bishop of Lansing. The goal of the entire review process will address the pastoral, sacramental and leadership needs of our people.

Pastors and pastoral coordinators will invite an ad hoc committee to participate in the review process, which will begin in November 2006. Training will take place in four locations around the diocese according to the following schedule: Wed., Nov. 8, Immaculate Heart of Mary, Lansing Thurs., Nov. 9, Saint Francis of Assisi, Ann Arbor Mon., Nov. 13, Saint John the Evangelist, Jackson Tues., Nov. 14, Holy Redeemer, Burton Bishop Mengeling, in his letter to the pastors and pastoral coordinators announcing this initiative, asks for “prayers because this important work will shape the Church of Lansing for the next 50 years.”

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St. Peter Wu Gousheng a catechist in China Born: 1768 Died: Nov. 7, 1814 Feast Day: Nov. 7 (also Sept. 28 as one of the Martyrs of China) Claim to Fame: One of the “Martyrs of China,” a large group of Chinese natives and European missionaries who died for their faith over a three-century period, Peter Wu Gousheng was a lay catechist in the Szechuan region of China.

He taught Christianity to more than 600 converts, including many visitors to the inn he operated.

Little-known fact: Even before Peter Wu converted to Christianity when he was 28, he was known in his community for his sense of justice, his care of the poor and his enthusiastic and outspoken nature. When he embraced Catholicism, he approached his faith as enthusiastically as he did everything else in his life, throwing away his household idols and preaching to anyone who would listen.

What made him a saint: Peter was baptized in 1796 and spent the next 18 years teaching others about Christ. Even when a new emperor who was unfriendly to Christianity took over as ruler of China, Peter Wu did not back down from teaching and preaching. When he was tortured, he refused to renounce his faith; instead, he encouraged and inspired his fellow prisoners. He continued to proclaim his belief in Jesus Christ even as he was martyred.

Lowest/scariest moment: In 1813, Emperor Kia-Kin published a decree forbidding Catholicism, but offered pardons to anyone who would renounce the faith. Those who would not commit apostasy, however, would be tortured and killed. Under this law, Peter Wu was arrested and imprisoned on April 3, 1814, and tortured repeatedly to persuade him to renounce Christianity. Instead of breaking his will, Peter Wu used his time in prison to lead prayer services for other prisoners.

Best quote: “Be loyal to the Lord, and accept his will.”

How he died: One of the Martyrs of China, Peter Wu was condemned to death for refusing to step on a crucifix. He was executed by strangulation on Nov. 7, 1814. In his dying words, he proclaimed, “Heaven, heaven, my true home! I see my heavenly mother and my guardian angel coming to take me home.”

Prayer: St. Peter Wu, you held steadfast to your faith even though you knew that you would die for your beliefs. Help us to find the courage to boldly proclaim our commitment to Christ Jesus and to share his message with others as you did. Help us to generously support the work of missionaries who preach the Gospel in lands hostile to Christianity, so that more souls will be brought to God through his Son, Jesus Christ. Amen. – Elizabeth Johnson

asilica of Sts. Peter and Paul, Apostles Nov. 18 | St. Rose Philippine Duchesne, Virgin Nov. 18 | The Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary Nov. 21 | St. Cecilia, Virgin and Martyr Nov. 22

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Dear Fr. Joe: Is cremation OK? Why is it a teaching to keep bodily remains together, unless you are a potential saint and then they divide you up?

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n order to hit this question rightly, we need to start with what the catechism says about cremation, “The church permits cremation, provided that it does not demonstrate a denial of faith in the resurrection of the body.” (CCC 2301) So, the church accepts cremation. Why? To put it bluntly, when we die, our bodies become subject to the laws of nature. The results of the process of cremation are the same result that time will basically have on us.

With cremation, the primary concern is that our faith in the resurrection of the body is maintained.

How do we know that faith in the resurrection is maintained? This one is hard to judge in others; we can usually only tell about our own belief. A key is that we avoid saying or doing things that indicate that the deceased body is “just a shell.” We treat that body as sacred. Let’s look at some things to avoid, then, if we are going to go with cremation for our burial or the burial of a loved one:

My buddy Will and I were discussing what we wanted done when we died. I want an inscription on my tombstone that reads, “Pardon me for not getting up.” I thought that was pretty funny until Will told me he wants T-shirts distributed at his funeral that say, “Will died and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.”

Somehow, I don’t see either of those things actually happening.

3 things to avoid with Christian burial: 1 “It’s just a shell.” I hear this a lot, but as Catholics, we have to remember that it is not true. Our bodies are destined for great things in the kingdom of heaven – God made them sacred. Treat them that way 2 Scattering of ashes: We need to avoid this. We must treat the deceased body as we would a non-cremated body. The ashes must be placed in a single container and buried in a columbarium or graveyard.

3 Wearing of the ashes: I know that some have taken the ashes of their beloved dead and placed them in amulets that they wear. Again, this is not the way we would treat the body of one who was not cremated, so we don’t do it to one who is.

of Paul’s handkerchiefs healed the sick and drove out demons.

With that history, early Christians were quite fond of relics from the saints being held up to veneration.

How did they justify what appeared to be the mutilation of a corpse? The idea is similar to that of organ donation, which the catechism praises – “Organ donation after death is a noble and meritorious act and is to be encouraged as an expression of generous solidarity.” (CCC 2296) As long as the sacredness of the

Dear Fr. Joe

So, what if we have done one or more of these things already? Keep in mind a really simple premise – God does not judge us for what we do not know. All of us have made mistakes in ignorance and without evil intent. I truly can’t imagine anyone, out of malice, treating the dead in a way the church tells us we shouldn’t. So, as God asks us to do every day of our lives, we learn from our errors and accept God’s wonderful, loving and freely given mercy.

is cremation okay?

In light of all this, then, how do we as a church justify “dividing up” the bodies of saints and sending them out as relics?

The first place to look is the Bible: There are a few references to God granting miracles through the relics of holy people. (cf II Kings 13:10-21;Acts 19:11-12) In II Kings, we hear about the bones of Elisha bringing a dead man to life and in Acts, a touch

St. Clement I, Pope and Martyr Nov. 23 | St. Columban, Abbot Nov. 23 | Blessed Miguel Agustin Pro, Priest and Martyr Nov. 23 | Thanksgiving Day (USA) Nov. 23 | St. A

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this month in history:

FAITH asks:

the Sistine Chapel ceiling was first revealed to the public in what year?

what do you do to remember loved ones who have passed away?

Michelangelo’s breathtaking artwork on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel in Rome was first exhibited to the public on Nov. 1, WHAT YEAR? The artwork consists of nine panels, each depicting a different milestone in biblical history.

We asked students at St. Mary School, Westphalia how they remember people they love who have died. Their answers were quite moving.

He may not be as fast as Speedy Gonzalez, but he is certainly just as well-loved! Walt Disney debuted his soon to be internationally beloved cartoon icon, Mickey Mouse, on Nov. 3, WHAT YEAR? Marking the beginning of the United States’ commitment to fundamental rights, the Articles of Confederation were drafted on Nov. 17, WHAT YEAR? Developed by the mere 13 states in existence at the time, the articles became the basis for the United States Constitution.

“Four score and seven years ago” … Abraham Lincoln delivered the often-quoted Gettysburg Address on Nov. 19, WHAT YEAR? Lincoln dedicated the site of one of the most noted battles of the Civil War, the Battle of Gettysburg, as a national cemetery in his famous two-minute speech.

Answers: 1512, 1928, 1777, 1863

body is preserved, we are allowed – and even encouraged – to give up our organs to save people’s lives.

In the same way, the bones of saints have many potential benefits for us – they link us to the church of all ages and the veneration of relics has the potential to draw us closer to Christ. Because of these benefits, and with a strong belief in the resurrection of the body, the church does allow us to “divide up” our beloved saints to help us grow in holiness.

I will close with a quote from St. Jerome: “We do not worship, we do not adore, for fear that we should bow down to the creature rather than to the Creator, but we venerate the relics of the martyrs in order the better to adore him whose martyrs they are.” (St. Jerome, Letter to Riparius) Enjoy another day in God’s presence!

– Father Joseph Krupp

Brianne (11): First we have Mass, and then ... we eat dinner with our family and tell stories to remember the person. We make the gravestone all nice and we put their favorite flower there to remember them and what they were like.

Emily (11): We put flowers on their graves and water them every week. We also talk about them a lot, especially at Christmas. And we pray for them.

Thou shalt laugh!

Today’s most talented comedians are brought together on Thou Shalt Laugh, a hilarious stand-up comedy concert whose stars, producers and director are all Christians!

Yes, you read that right – the words “hilarious” and “Christian” in the same sentence. From the producer of the enormously popular Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie, Thou Shalt Laugh will be released by Warner Home Video (WHV) November 7, 2006.

Actress Patricia Heaton (Everybody Loves Raymond) hosts an uproarious night of stand-up comedy featuring some of the most gifted comedians in show business today. The lineup showcases seven world class comedians including Thor Ramsey, Michael Jr., Jeff Allen, Teresa Roberts Logan, Joby Saad, Gilbert Esquivel and Taylor Mason.

Hayden (11): We celebrate his or her birthday.

We also pray for them and always keep them in our hearts and our talk, and we know that he or she made it to heaven. We also visit the cemetery and sing Happy Birthday!

29% of Americans have a living will.

(CARA, Spring 2006)

What do you think?

Log on to FAITHmag.com then click FAITH forums to discuss this and other interesting topics.

3 | St. Andrew Dung-Lac, Priest and his companions, Martrys Nov. 24 | St. Catherine of Alexandria, Virgin and Martyr Nov. 25 | Christ the King Nov. 26 | St. Andrew, Apostle Nov. 30

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A brief look at the religion of Islam and Christians’ history with the people who call God “Allah.”

What are our differences?

What do we share?

Q:

What is the history of the relationship between Muslims and Christians? Has it always been so violent?

A: Unfortunately, the history between these two religions has not been good. Islam arose about 600 years after the foundation of Christianity. While it recognizes both Jews and Christians as “people of the Book,” the Islamic interpretation of both of these religions and their theologies would not be accepted by either. As Islam began to spread throughout the Near, Middle and Far East, as well as in northern Africa, more ancient Christian civilizations fell in war to its advance. During the Middle Ages, Christianity launched crusades against this advance, and retaliated as it attempted to regain the Holy Land. Countless unholy acts were perpetrated by both sides.

The struggle continued through the 15th century when Muslim Turks overthrew the ancient seat of the Eastern Christian Empire and church – Constantinople.

Ironically, Islam was on a decline after that for nearly 200 years. It was only during the colonial expansion into the Islamic countries in the mid- to late 1800s, and the subsequent religious repression by Western European nations, that Islam reawoke to this threat to FAITH Magazine

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its personal identity and ideologies.

This legacy of colonialism – which led to this resurgence of Islam – is still very much behind the violence one sees taking place today. Unfortunately, however, extremists now see the U.S. as the new colonial power threatening their culture and way of life through means of occupation, cultural imperialism and oppression. Some – though not all – extremists equate the U.S. with Christianity and thus go to war over it.

Q: What is the status of the current relationship between the Catholic Church and Muslims? With whom does the church have dialogue?

What are the stumbling blocks?

A: Since the Second Vatican Council (1962-1965), the Catholic Church has entered into greater dialogue with Islam. We have moved beyond the guise of mere tolerance to the point of mutual sharing and a true attempt at understanding one another. We rejoice and share

a common heritage with roots in Abrahamic lineage and the joint monotheistic tradition.

Islam, unlike Catholicism, does not have one leader. There is no equivalent of a pope in Islam, and their clerics – imams and shayks – do not hold the same religious status as priests or bishops in the Catholic Church. This makes bilateral dialogue very difficult, if not impossible. Thus, dialogue takes place among various groups, most often at local and national levels, rather than worldwide. Agreement can be reached on many subjects simply by searching the minds and hearts of people of good will to find solutions that are just and ethical, regardless of one’s faith. Pope John Paul II made great strides in our relations with our Muslim brothers and sisters during his papacy. He even visited a mosque in Syria and was welcomed by Islamic people there. Pope Benedict has had some difficulties in his Catholic/Islamic relations.

November 2006

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Pope Benedict

and Islam

should I stay or should I go? how do I know if it’s the right time to switch jobs?

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n Sept. 12, Pope Benedict gave an address at the University of Regensburg in Germany, where he used to teach theology. In talking about the themes of faith and reason, the pope quoted Byzantine Emperor Manuel II Paleologus and his dialogue with a Muslim scholar in the 14th century. One of the emperor’s quotes to the scholar was, “Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.” Shortly after, Pope Benedict explained that the debate raised the question of whether God is absolutely transcendent for Muslims, and therefore not bound up with “any of our categories, even that of rationality.”

These statements sparked indignation by Muslims around the world, and there were some attacks on churches.

Pope Benedict’s response Pope Benedict apologized for any misunderstanding his remarks occasioned, and emphasized that he was quoting a Byzantine scholar, not expressing his own views.

Here is his response: Dear Brothers and Sisters, The pastoral visit which I recently made to Bavaria was a deep spiritual experience, bringing together personal memories linked to places well known to me and pastoral initiatives toward an effective proclamation of the Gospel for today.

I thank God for the interior joy which he made possible, and I am also grateful to all those who worked hard for the success of this pastoral visit. As is the custom, I will speak more of this during next Wednesday’s general audience.

At this time, I wish also to add that I am deeply sorry for the reactions in some countries to a few passages of my address at the University of Regensburg, which were considered offensive to the sensibility of Muslims.

These in fact were a quotation from a medieval text, which do not in any way express my personal thought.

Yesterday, the cardinal secretary of state published a statement in this regard in which he explained the true meaning of my words. I hope that this serves to appease hearts and to clarify the true meaning of my address, which in its totality was and is an invitation to frank and sincere dialogue, with great mutual respect.

Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, Vatican secretary of state, published a statement that expanded the pope’s apology, and included the following clarification: The Holy Father thus sincerely regrets that certain passages of his address could have sounded offensive to the sensitivities of the Muslim faithful, and should have been interpreted in a manner that in no way corresponds to his intentions. Indeed it was he who, before the religious fervor of Muslim believers, warned secularized Western culture to guard against “the contempt for God and the cynicism that considers mockery of the sacred to be an exercise of freedom.” – ZENIT

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Ted is wondering if he needs a change in jobs.

ed says: I’ve been in the same job now for about five years. I like the company OK, but I’m not sure where I stand; I don’t think I’m appreciated. After a few months of searching, I finally received an offer for a new position. It wasn’t anything special, but it was a little more money and a good chance to make a change.

I went to my boss, expecting to give him notice and arrange a transition plan. To my surprise, he strongly encouraged me to stay. He asked if I could hold the new company off for a couple of days while he put an offer together. I said I would, but when the new company started pressuring me for a decision, I got nervous. Although this was basically a no-lose situation, I was afraid I might screw it up by not handling it correctly. I can’t believe how much anxiety it caused. How do we deal with life decisions like this?

The expert says: Fr. Richard Rohr is the founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation and is a respected spiritual director. In his book, Everything Belongs, he addresses the spiritual dilemma that comes from our need to control. He says: “Our culture teaches us we have to compare, dominate, control, and insure. In brief, we have to be in charge. That need to be in charge moves us deeper and deeper into a world of anxiety.”

So how do we avoid this anxiety?

Fr. Rohr goes on to say that the

first thing we need to do is to realize that, “Life is not about me; it’s about God, and God is about love.” So, it’s not about what I want, it’s about how God asks me to serve.

Ted responds: I kept playing out all the scenarios in my head trying to sort out the “right” answer. Finally, I couldn’t take the stress anymore and concluded that I didn’t know – it’s not up to me! The one thing I did decide was to let go and let God put the pieces of the puzzle together for me.

It turned out to be an easy decision to stay when my company came back with a surprisingly good offer. I realized that maybe this is where God wants me to be, and that instead of worrying about being in control, I just need to focus on how I’m called to serve the people around me, and let God take care of the rest.

– Tim Ryan

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Be playful and laugh together (not at each other).

Enjoy yourself, but not at the other’s expense.

Know where to draw the line. Be sensitive to taboo subjects or issues, and always be respectful of one another. money

Do you want to be able to stay home with your children, at least until school age? Consider where that extra income goes, to necessities or niceties? Maybe it’s just a matter of considering balancing work vs. over-work, and what you lose in the process.

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m a r r i a g e

m a t t e r s

J

ill and Steve have been married for two years.

They were both married before and each has children from the previous marriage.

He said She said what do they do?

his kids get more than mine

my kids don’t get enough

Jill says: My daughters, who are 11 and 13, live with us, except when they visit their father every other weekend. Steve’s two kids live with their mother and come here on alternate weekends – the same weekends my kids are here. Steve spoils his children rotten – you’d think they were guests. They never clean their rooms or help out. But my children have regular chores and Steve expects them to be done.

Also, even though he pays child support, Steve buys his boys anything they want when they’re here.

My children are feeling resentful that they’re not treated equally, and I guess I am too.

Steve says: My two boys, who are 11 and 10, don’t get to spend time with me as much as I’d like.

Their mother has custody. So, when I do get to see them, I don’t want to spend my time nagging them about cleaning or chores.

And why shouldn’t I spend a little on fun gifts for them? I want them to see me as a generous parent. Jill’s kids are with us all the time – they should have more chores, they live here. I’m sure my kids do chores at their mother’s house. And, we spend a lot on day-to-day expenses for Jill’s children; she seems to be forgetting that.

The counselor says: Blended families always require special concern and care by the marital couple.

When you think of all the family members who are thrown into the mix of relationships, it can seem overwhelming. I know I started to feel overwhelmed when I heard Jill and Steve’s story. I am sure they feel that at times it seems hopeless. So where to begin?

The basis of all relationships is communica-

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p a r e n t i n g

tion. The best communication starts when we are not in the middle of a crisis.

The couple should begin talking calmly about their hopes and dreams for their children. Chances are high that those goals are similar: good educations, good jobs, loving families. After agreeing on goals, they should talk about how to achieve them. Discussion topics should include discipline, household rules, chores for family members, fun activities, allowances, etc. Make determinations for the children who live in the household and for those who live there on weekends.

Communicating the rules and consistency are critical for Steve and Jill. It’s not so much what you say, but how you say it. Jill and Steve really need to agree on issues and not allow the children to drive a wedge between them.

Regarding the issue of kids being treated fairly, this is always tricky. Again the best way to handle this is to be very open and honest as parents. What seems fair to all? What are the fears of the non-custodial parent? Realistically, does spending more money on kids ensure their love? We know that is not the case. Kids need to feel valued and loved. Money has little to do with those feelings.

Spending time with kids is most valued by them. That works for all kids of all sizes.

Blended families are very common in our communities. They take very special parents who are even willing to try to make these families work. Laying the groundwork before the marriage begins can help the transition go more smoothly. Counseling is often necessary as parents try to make the difficult decisions for their families. Please know that the Catholic Charities agencies stand ready to support families through this process.

– Deb McCormack

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com m uni ca ti o n

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grieving parenthood coping with the loss of a baby

Great marriages are built on trust.

Trust is essential to longevity in a marriage. Trust that I love you and will care for you till death do us part. Trust that you love me and will care for me even when I least deserve it.

\

time

When offering consolation, remember that the parents are mourning this baby, a unique individual loved

by God from conception.

T

he twilight glow of light in the hospital room was dim, but I could see the ink drawing on the bed sheet. Throughout the night, the heart-shaped form captured my attention, despite my efforts to ignore its presence. A physician, frustrated by the lack of paper at his ready disposal, had drawn the shape of my uterus on the sheet while explaining why we had lost our first baby. Instead of the typical shape, there was a small division of tissue. As our baby grew, the placenta detached at this division. The prognosis for future pregnancies was not good. The heart beside me represented heartbreak.

Empty time – responses in solitude It is normal to be at a loss when deciding how to fill the time that would have been spent caring for your baby. Dr. Andreas Teuber of Brandeis University writes that Mary Shelley may have written Frankenstein while grieving the death of her 11-day-old daughter. A dream recorded in Shelley’s journal foreshadowed plot lines in the tale of horror she penned: “Dream that my little baby came to life again – that it had only been cold and that we rubbed it before the fire and it lived.”

Research conducted by James Pennebaker shows that writing about one’s emotions can be effective in coping, showing a beneficial impact in immune system functioning.

Empty time – sharing with others Pause and probe together. Jump off the merry-go-round of life together and pause for a moment.

Probe your minds and ask, “Is what we are doing drawing us closer together or pulling us apart? “ If the former – jump back on and enjoy! If the latter – stay off and pick something more suited to strengthening your marriage.

Thirty years ago, Sister Jane Marie Lamb, OSF, founded Share (www.nationalshareoffice.com) to meet the needs of those experiencing miscarriage or infant death.

Parents help one another heal; the group engages in supportive outreach. Members promoted hospital policies to place symbols outside rooms alerting staff to the loss. Share advocated a halt to the flow of advertisements for infant products mailed to the homes of bereaved parents. Sister Jane Marie’s book, Bittersweet ... Hellogoodbye, helps parents explore ways to say goodbye through rituals.

Bring your anguish to the Lord All our human emotions are appropriate to share in prayer, including anger. “In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord.” She was so distraught that Eli first attributed her behavior to drunkenness instead of anguish. Eventually, the desire of Hannah’s heart was fulfilled and she conceived. “She named him Samuel (heard of God), saying, ‘Because I asked the Lord for him.’ (1 Samuel 1:10, 20)

When offering consolation, remember that the parents are mourning this baby, a unique individual loved by God from conception. Listen with compassion and offer support as parents mourn the child that cannot nestle in their arms and grieve the anticipated milestones that will never be experienced. – Dr. Cathleen McGreal

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1 0 1

The Easter triduum a step-by-step guide through the church’s liturgies

T

he beginning of the Easter triduum, or three days, marks the end of Lent. It is not really three liturgies, it is one long liturgy, with some rest breaks. The triduum commences with the Mass of the Lord’s Supper on Holy Thursday evening and ends after evening prayer on Easter Sunday.

Holy Thursday

The Communion procession: There has been some confusion during the last couple of years about what we’re supposed to be doing as we receive Communion. The most recent translation of the General Instruction of the Roman Missal (GIRM) continues the understanding of our reception of Communion in procession – that is, we all rise and move solemnly to receive the Blessed Sacrament, then remain standing until all have received. In the United States, the bishops have determined that the appropriate gesture of reverence prior to receiving Communion is a bow of the head. This commonality of gesture expresses our unity as we receive the sacrament of unity: Communion. Local bishops have some leeway to allow people to kneel or stand after receiving, prior to the end of the procession.

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who ’s in the s anctuary?

The ushers are not just the men who collect the money.

They don’t even have to be men! Ushers are ministers of hospitality in the church – ensuring that parishioners have a place to sit, helping those who are in distress, readying the church before Mass, greeting people at the doors – and yes, collecting the offering and often assisting in its presentation by members of the congregation.

During the Mass of the Lord’s Supper, we remember Jesus’ last meal with his disciples in a powerful way, re-enacting even the washing of feet. This symbolic gesture of servant-ministry is usually offered by the priest to members of the congregation. Following the Mass, there is a silent eucharistic procession to a chapel of repose, where we remember the Lord’s time in the Garden of Gethsemane, and we wait with him in prayer and adoration. The doors of the tabernacle in the church stand open, so everyone can see that it is empty. The sanctuary lamp is extinguished.

Good Friday On Good Friday, there is no Mass anywhere in the universal church. We can participate in a variety of services by which we remember Jesus’ suffering and death on the cross. Churches offer the Stations of the Cross, the Liturgy of Good Friday, and sometimes a Tenebrae service.

During the Good Friday liturgy, we listen to a dramatic reading of the Passion, venerate the cross with a touch or kiss, and receive Communion from reserved consecrated hosts. Again, we depart in silence. If the parish has a Tenebrae “darkness”

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b i b l e

q u i z

w h a t ’ s

h e

w e a r i n g ?

Bible Quiz Women in Scripture 1. Two brave midwives in the Book of Exodus who put their own lives at risk by defying the pharaoh’s law of death in order to uphold God’s law of life 2. A prophet who spoke God’s warnings to the king

a. Esther

3. Appealed to God for strength and saved her people from annihilation

b. Damarius

4. Paul mentions that these two women worked with him as his coworkers to advance the Gospel. He sent an emissary to mediate a dispute between them, indicating “how important the women are both to Paul and to the Philippi community.”

c. Shiprah and Puah d. Dorcas (Greek), also Tabitha (Aramic)

5. A Greek woman who became a Christian after hearing Paul’s words before the Areopagus in Athens

e. Huldah

6. The only woman mentioned in the feminine form of “disciple” in the New Testament

f. Euodia and Syntyche

Answers: 1:c; 2:e; 3:a; 4:f; 5:b; 6:d

service, it is held at night. The seven last words of Jesus are spoken, with a candle extinguished at each one. It is a powerful and moving experience of the need for the light.

Easter Vigil The most beautiful Mass of the entire year occurs on Holy Saturday night, at the Easter Vigil. The Mass begins after dark with the blessing of new fire, the lighting of the paschal candle and a candlelit procession into the church. The The most beauti- Exultet, a history of salvation, is chanted and we listen to ful Mass of the entire year occurs readings from the Old and New on Holy Saturday Testaments that reflect that hisnight, at the Easter tory. There may be as many as Vigil. The Mass be- nine readings, followed by the gins after dark with first singing of the Gloria since the blessing of new the beginning of Lent.

The Easter Vigil includes the fire, the lighting of the Paschal candle baptism, confirmation and first Communion of catechumens and a candlelit procession into the who have been preparing for this day for months. We welcome church. them into our community and celebrate their presence among us.

Although the Easter Vigil can be quite long, it is truly worth spending the time – it is a rich experience of the resurrection of the Lord. And for the first time since Ash Wednesday, we sing Alleluia!

w h a t ’ s t h e s e a s o n ?

What is Advent?

Advent is the beginning of the church’s year – occurring not in January, but during the four weeks prior to Christmas. Advent begins on the Sunday closest to Nov. 30, the Feast of St. Andrew. We prepare for the coming of Christ in joyful anticipation. In the earliest days of the church, Advent lasted six weeks, until St. Gregory the Great, of calendar fame, fixed the season at four weeks and composed prayers and antiphons to celebrate it. The liturgical color for Advent is purple.

Crosier: The bishop carries a tall hooked staff called a crosier. In the Western church, it is shaped like a shepherd’s crook to symbolize the bishop’s role as the shepherd of his flock. Crosiers dating from as early as the fourth century have been found in catacombs. By the Council of Toledo in 633, the crosier is mentioned as a liturgical implement.

w h a t ’ s

i n

t h e

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Tabernacle:

T

The tabernacle is the repository in which the consecrated hosts are reserved for distribution to the sick or other needs of the community. It is prominently displayed in the church, separated from the main altar by architecture, lighting or design. In many churches, it is in a separate chapel where it is still visible in the body of the church. When the Blessed Sacrament is present, a sanctuary lamp burns near it.

People often sit or kneel in adoration in front of the tabernacle; the appropriate gesture when approaching or passing in front of it is genuflection.

By Elizabeth Solsburg | Illustrations by Bob Patten

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ather Tom Helfrich talks about himself as the priest with four kidneys.

It’s not that he collects them or anything like that. It’s just that he needs a new one every so often to stay alive.

Because of that need, fellow priest Ken McKenna now only has one kidney. But both men feel good about it.

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At age 12, long before he could even pronounce it, Helfrich developed glomerulonephritis, a disease in which the kidney filters become inflamed and scarred, slowly losing the ability to remove wastes from the blood while making urine.

The kidneys, bean shaped and the size of a fist, also regulate electrolyte balance,

By Bob Horning | Photography by Jim Luning and help with red blood cell production.

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y 1989, Helfrich, then 40, needed his first kidney transplant. “My brother, Ron, with the same blood type, was a perfect tissue match,” he says. “At the cost of an entire softball season, he gave me his kidney.”

Both men fared well. Ron, eight years younger than his brother, is married, has three children and is as physically active as ever. Tom did fine until about 2003, when his kidney function began to deteriorate, apparently due to the medications for preventing organ rejection, not an uncommon occurrence. In June 2005, he was told he would need another transplant.

Since being ordained in 1978, Father Tom had spent most of his priesthood as a high-school teacher and retreat coordinator, and serving in various roles at Camp De Sales, a family center in Brooklyn, Mich. He also spent eight years as the pastor of St. Mary of Good Counsel in Adrian, and now is in campus ministry at Siena Heights University in Adrian.

“I grew up in a religious household, knowing it was a special call to be a priest,” he says. The Oblates of Saint Francis de Sales administered and taught at his school, St. Francis de Sales High School in Toledo, Ohio, and impressed him enough that he wanted to follow in their footsteps. “They were real men – down to earth, accessible and happy,” he recalls. “At my deepest core, I know I have been called to be a priest. It’s where God wants me, where I am happiest

“ I was humbled that Ken would do this. It’s not as if we were best friends. I was gratefully amazed.”

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and most effective.”

Last summer, at the annual assembly of the Detroit/Toledo province of the OSFS at Camp De Sales in Brooklyn, Mich., Father Tom gave an update on his medical condition, mentioning his need for a new kidney. He said that if anyone had type A blood and was willing to be a donor, to let him know. He already had a few volunteers, but it was uncertain if they would be a good match.

Enter Father McKenna, the director of the camp, and of Holley Ear Institute (for the deaf) located on the grounds. Also born in Toledo, Father Ken’s close-up view of the Oblates as a freshman in high school came unexpectedly. When his family home burned down, the Oblates invited him and his brother to live with them until their parents found a new house. “During those three weeks, I saw a side of them most students don’t see,” McKenna said. “They were regular people, living a life together that was full of laughter.”

McKenna became involved with ministry to the deaf while in seminary and, after ordination as an Oblate in 1985, served as the chaplain for the deaf in the Archdiocese of Detroit. He has been at Camp De Sales since 1994.

“I had heard about Father Tom’s ministry over the years, and about how effective and popular he was,” Father McKenna said. “But we didn’t know each other well. When I learned of his situation, I was willing to be a donor, and I am A positive, so I asked him what the next step would be for me.

“Having become novice master for our province and in charge of priest recruitment, I was aware not only of the need for new priests, but the need to keep healthy the ones that we have. I thought donating a kidney would be a small sacrifice if Tom could continue his ministry.”

Father Ken was soon at University of Michigan Hospital in Ann Arbor, where the operation would

Visit the new diocesan Web site at www.dioceseoflansing.org

10/3/06 4:20:23 PM

“Having become novice master for our province and in charge of priest recruitment, I was aware not only of the need for new priests, but the need to keep healthy the ones that we have. I thought donating a kidney would be a small sacrifice if Tom could continue his ministry.”

While McKenna acknowledges the appreciation of his friend, he smiles and says, “If he ever needs my second one, he probably won’t find me so generous.”

be performed, taking tests to make sure he would be a good match.

He had a physical exam, then a psychological interview, designed to ensure the donor is doing it for the right reasons.

Father Helfrich said he “was humbled that Ken would do this.

It’s not as if we were best friends. I was gratefully amazed.”

Did McKenna have any fears about losing a kidney? “Not really,” he said. “I knew Tom’s brother, Ron, was living a normal life, and from my reading I knew that you can live just as well with one kidney as two.”

While in the preparation room for surgery, Father McKenna remembers being quite emotional.

“There I was, surrounded by five or six others who were going to have various surgeries far more serious than mine. I was the only healthy one; the others couldn’t be sure they would even survive their operations.

“Since my surgery was laparoscopic, only requiring two small incisions by the navel, the recovery was uncomfortable, mainly from the carbon dioxide they had pumped into me beforehand. But it wasn’t painful.” Father McKenna jokes that he used to drink a lot of soda pop, but doesn’t feel much like drinking it anymore.

The operation took place Jan. 12.

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Father Ken was out of the hospital three days later, and in two weeks was able to say Mass again, though he did need someone to drive him to Lansing for it.

Three months after surgery, he could still say, “I’m doing great. I am not on medication, have no diet restrictions, and I don’t expect to die of anything kidney related. The body adjusts. The remaining kidney gets a little larger and takes over the extra work.”

Father Ken points out that the teaching of Catholic/Christian tradition has always been to alleviate suffering, physical as well as spiritual. “That’s why you see so many religious orders starting hospitals and so many Catholics involved in healing work.”

The recovery for Father Tom has been slower. He knew what to expect, though – a five-day hospital stay, out of work for six weeks, and then a long, gradual return to normalcy. After three months, he was doing 12 push-ups every day, on the way to his goal of 50.

“I feel very, very well,” he says now.” I am incredibly blessed.

Every day I say, ‘Do I really deserve this? If I had been born 50 years earlier, I would have died from my condition. This is a great reminder that life is fragile, that we have nothing that is not

r e s o u r c e

The gift of life Organ donation is a meritorious act, according to Catholic teaching. Though the level of Father Ken’s generosity may overwhelm us, most organ donation takes place after death.

It is a relatively easy process to fill out a donor card, which you can do through Gift of Life Michigan. Additionally, Michigan residents can also indicate their wish to be a donor on their driver’s licenses.

Make sure to discuss this with your family – they will be asked for their consent.

For more information, visit www.giftoflife michigan.org.

a gift, and that we at all times ought to give thanks. (1 Thessalonians 5:17) Yet, it is not just about regaining health, and enjoying fishing and hunting again; but God is saying, ‘I still have a mission for you. Let’s do it.’”

Helfrich’s restored health has benefited both priests. For Father McKenna, it “reaffirms the wonder of life – that God made the body in such a way that it can live with one kidney. I am amazed that medical science has such an understanding of the body that physicians can perform this operation.

“It has also given me an opportunity to reflect on the end of life. My prayer immediately after surgery, when it was easier to imagine the decreased capacity that often comes at the end of life, was that I could be ready when the time comes to let go of what makes me happy: saying Mass, my work, my love of carpentry. I don’t want to be so attached that I can’t let go of it.

“I have never had surgery before, so an added bonus is that this will help me to identify with the people I visit in the hospital.”

Asked if he would do it again, Father Ken replies, “Absolutely. I have no regrets. I would recommend it to anyone. I don’t know how many years Tom will get out of it, but I hope it can get him into his 70s.” With a laugh, the expert in American Sign Language adds that “since Tom struggles a bit with learning sign language, he should be improving now.”

Father Helfrich says that the two kidney operations haven’t necessarily affected his relationship with God, “but it sure has with Ken and my brother. If either of them ever needs me, I will drop everything to help.”

While McKenna acknowledges the appreciation of his friend, he smiles and says, “If he ever needs my second one, he probably won’t find me so generous.”

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p r o f i l e

Karen Schavey found a new life with the help of Beginning Experience

my marriage ended

O

n summer evenings, when Karen Schavey returns from work, she walks around her yard, surveying the flowerbeds. “There’s always something new coming in,” she says, smiling.

The lovingly tended garden could represent Karen’s life today – full of growth. Four years after a difficult divorce, she has created a new world for herself that includes a new home in Lansing, a new job, new friends and time to help others. In putting her life back together, Karen has drawn strength from God; a support group at St. John Student Parish in East Lansing; and Beginning Experience.

My husband and I were married for 33 years, and we raised three children. After they were grown and on their own, we planned to retire. We had always dreamed about traveling around the country in an RV, so we bought a fifth-wheel trailer and a truck to haul it. Then we sold the house and downsized to an apartment. I gave up everything – sold it or gave it away. I had nothing left, other than what would furnish an apartment.

Six months or so before we could officially retire, we started having difficulties in the FAITH Magazine

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ing the family together. You can always look back and say, “I should have done this or I should have done that.” But at the time, I was trying to keep things going and keep the kids on an even keel. I thought we had worked through our problems. We had a lot of good times. We had a lot of love.

marriage. We had been through major changes. My husband kept saying that everything would be fine after we retired and hit the road, but we weren’t able to get past the problems. He left me shortly after we moved into the apartment.

The divorce blew me out of the water. You work your whole life raising children, making a home, looking forward to your golden years, sailing away in the sunset together. That’s what I pictured, but it didn’t happen that way because of the divorce.

I lost my identity. I was no longer a wife, companion and life partner.

We had always had ups and downs in our marriage, but we worked very hard at keep-

When I was going through the separation, I saw an ad for a divorce support group at St.

By Margaret Ann Cross | Photography by Tom Gennara

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I’ve I’ pulled together all of the good parts of my life and pieced together the person I am – content and peaceful and walking with God. c

John Student Parish in East Lansing, and I started going. I always say that it was God who sent me there, because it was the only thing that got me through it. When I was in my marriage, I wrapped myself around my husband and my children. I didn’t have friends.

So it was very difficult to walk into a room full of strangers and tell them what was happening. I cried, and they understood.

They invited me to join them at church, even though I wasn’t Catholic. I did, and I felt a sense of family there, a sense of belonging. I sat in church one Sunday and a peace came over me. I knew I was going to make it through this. A year later, I went through the Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults and was baptized and confirmed into the church. There had been a big empty hole in my life; God filled it. Now, I have this great nearness to God. I feel like I’m not out there alone. I can sit down and talk to God. I know he has a bigger, better plan for my life.

A lot of people from the support group had also been to

r e s o u r c e

Beginning Experience This group’s purpose is to facilitate the grief resolution process for adults and children who have suffered a loss through death, divorce or separation, thereby enabling them to again love themselves, others and God. The lay ministers in the Beginning Experience ministry are “wounded healers” – specially trained men and women who are themselves widowed, separated or divorced, but further along in the grieving process. For more information, call 866.610.8877 or visit www. beginningexperience.org.

Beginning Experience weekends and thought that might help me.

When I went to my first weekend, my husband and I were separated. I was still at the point where I wanted him to come back. You can’t let go of all of those years just like that, so I took baby steps that time.

through it in their own time and in their own way.

I am on the board of Beginning Experience now ... I like matching people up for the small group sessions during the weekends. You wouldn’t believe the bonding that goes on. Some of these people become friends for the rest of their lives.

I attended meetings called Continued Beginnings, and then I They invited me went through team to join them at training to help lead church, even the weekends. though I wasn’t I enjoy helping Catholic. I did, people. I wanted to and I felt a sense give back what I had of family there, a received. Beginning sense of belongExperience is a peer ing. I sat in church ministry. We always one Sunday and a say that you can’t un- peace came over derstand this kind of me. I knew I was loss unless you have going to make it walked in these shoes. through this.

When you are part of the team, you go through it all again. You evaluate your relationship and you get in touch with yourself.

You write a talk to share with the others. Every time I do a talk on a weekend, it takes me another step further. It’s been four years, but everybody progresses

“I am content now ... and I have my faith, which I never had before.”

I met one of my best friends through Beginning Experience.

We travel together, and that had been my dream. I am not driving around the country in an RV, but I have been to Texas, Las Vegas and Florida, and I have a trip planned for Hawaii.

I have met so many wonderful people.

When one of my sons got married, I was apprehensive about the wedding because my ex-husband was going to be there with his new wife. My son said, “Mom, you can invite anybody you want to.” So I did. I had three tables of wonderful, caring friends. They all came to support me.

I am content now. I have the home I bought on my own; I have a job I enjoy. I have my kids and my granddaughter. I am having new adventures. I am still doing the traveling I wanted to do. And I have my faith, which I never had before. I go to church, and I pray.

I missed out on that for so many years. I don’t know if I’m joyously happy, but I have a peace now that I didn’t have for a lot of years – even in the marriage. I have that because I’ve pulled together all of the good parts of my life and pieced together the person I am – content and peaceful and walking with God.

Visit www.dioceseoflansing.org, Dept. of Education and Catechesis, Family Life Ministry.

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how Cursillo transformed Gerry Rice

Church was not a part of my life until I met my wife. I had been baptized in the third grade after being instructed by the Baltimore Catechism but, after 10th grade, I quit going to Mass.

In 1978, I met my wife, Ann, and my life took a turn for the better.

We attended an Engaged Encounter, and on that weekend, for the very first time, I felt the church was embracing me as an adult. Consequently, I was able to make an intellectual commitment to Christ.

Four years later, I experienced another transformation when I attended a Cursillo weekend – a “short course” on Christianity, emphasizing an encounter with Jesus Christ.

This is meant to encourage lay evangelization.

All of the discussion seemed divinely intended to reach me.

God, and the Cursillo team, knew exactly what I needed to hear. It was worthwhile, but difficult. I felt guilt and remorse for the way I had lived, and if my car had been in the parking lot, I would have left. It felt as though I were on God’s anvil being reshaped. I was a rock going into the weekend, and merely a pebble by the end.

from bitter to

I

served two tours in Vietnam with the Navy Seabees, and at one point, I got an ear infection. Because it was mistreated by the doctor, the infection spread and I nearly died as a result. I have no hearing in my right ear now, and paralysis on the right side of my face, which can make me look grumpy. I’m really not.

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But at the time, my medical condition left me with an attitude. I was angry that it happened. After being discharged, I became a militant unionist at the railroad company in Jackson, where I worked for 17 years as a brakeman and conductor. I was a single man with little responsibility and pretty much kept my own counsel. I would talk with the guys about sports and politics, but nothing personal.

There, I was challenged to be a better husband and father, and to do what I could to make our home a positive environment. I was challenged to bring Christ to every situation. And most important, I was asked to enter into a new relationship with Christ. Fortunately, through the Cursillo, and through God’s gift to me – my wife – I had come to the point where I desired a change,

By Bob Horning | Photography by Tom Gennara

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I have no hearing in my right ear now, and paralysis on the right side of my face, which can make me look grumpy. I’m really not. ma

when I wanted to become a better asked. She had seen a notice in a person. At that point, I was not parish bulletin for a position within only intellectually committed, but the Cemeteries Department. dedicated emotionally.

One effect caused by this divine When I interviewed, I let them intervention was that I decided know that I wanted to operate to volunteer as an extraordinary as a ministry, not a business. minister to shut-ins.

They hired me. Now I am able I love doing this because the to help people in need, and am people who are shut-ins are eager surrounded by fellow workers to receive the body of in the diocesan central All of the disChrist, and are glad office, all of whom are cussion seemed positive and committed to have me pray with divinely intend- to the mission of the them. ed to reach me. church.

God, and the In addition, I made Cursillo team, prayer a more sigI understand the nificant part of my life. knew exactly word “love” a little what I needed Now, my daily prayers better now, and I can to hear. include the rosary and show a more intelDivine Mercy chaplet. I ligent, well-intended also say a short prayer when I hear love to the people I serve. an ambulance siren, or receive a Those who have lost a loved one prayer request via e-mail. want us to understand their loss.

As time went on, I began to examine everything based on one question – is it legal, moral and ethical? By those criteria, I realized a job change was in order. I had been selling insurance for years.

The industry was under scrutiny for legal issues, and, for me, there was too much emphasis on making the sale. I left in 1996, and started doing pre-need sales of cemetery and funeral arrangements. Within two years, I discovered the same tendencies in the funeral business.

I wanted to treat people differently, to help bring them peace.

When I told my wife I wanted to put a crucifix on my office wall, she immediately bought one. I hung it the next day. I began offering to pray with grieving families, to ask the Holy Spirit to come and be with them. It allowed them to know that God was with them in their sorrow.

But that wasn’t enough to satisfy my conscience. By 1998, I told my wife I needed to escape. “Then how about calling the diocese?” she

We are trying to give the Catholic community a sense of ownership of the cemeteries, as well as doing things that will encourage Catholics to be buried in a Catholic cemetery. For instance, to make them a more prayerful place, we created new sections devoted to the Way of the Cross and the rosary. The bronze artwork encourages prayer.

Another thing – on Jan. 22, the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade, we have pro-life motorcades every year, which traverse parts of Lansing and Flint, fol-

r e s o u r c e

Cursillo – a “short course” for a better life Cursillo is Spanish for “short course” and is a movement often associated with its three-day weekend retreats. It began in Majorca in the 1940s as a movement by members of Catholic Action.

There is more to Cursillo, as Gerry Rice’s experience shows.

One of Cursillo’s primary aims is evangelization.

For more information of the Cursillo movement, please visit www.natl-cursillo. org

lowed by inter-denominational prayer services in our indoor heated mausoleums. We also have Masses every month for the souls of those buried in our cemeteries.

We began, in collaboration with Catholic Charities, adult bereavement support groups.

In May of this year, we held a day of retreat and reflection for parents who have lost a child through miscarriage, stillbirth and/or neo-natal death.

God has given a lot to me and he expects a great deal in return. I hope not to disappoint him. I meet every Wednesday with three men who have also attended a Cursillo. We discuss our prayer life, Christian formation, and our evangelization efforts.

It inspires me to keep moving onward, and pulls me in the right direction. Through the love of God, I now feel my purpose.

Through the love of God, I am whole.

Gerry meets with his Cursillo group.

For more information on the Dept. of Cemeteries, please visit www.DioceseOfLansing.org

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November 2006

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Here is a simple project you could do amid eating turkey, ordering gifts online and decorating the tree. It is something you can make to remember a loved one who has died or give as a gift to someone who recently lost a loved one.

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ith Thanksgiving and Christmas around the corner, it’s hard not to get caught up in everything that is, well, all about Thanksgiving and Christmas. Heck, how can we not, when we’re so bombarded with sights and sounds all around us? Set foot into the realm of retail and you’re blasted with a palette of reds and greens. And all of those easy-listening stations? They play nothing but Christmas music For this project, from Halloween to Dec. 25. Hey, I’m not knockyou will need: ing it. I love this time of year. My husband and I • A cylinder-shaped glass candleholder about four are the dreamy types who eat, breathe and sleep inches in height the rituals that come with the enchantment of the • One package of glass pebbles holidays. But do we ever stop to realize that not • One three-inch pillar candle everyone is • A couple of containers of glass feeling on paint, in various colors cloud nine • A paintbrush at this time? package of small brads In fact, this • One (These are typically used in for remembering time of year card-making and scrapbooking and can be found at an arts-andcan be the crafts store.) worst for Begin by painting the name many who have recently lost a loved one. With of a person, date of death, or its feast days of All Saints and All Souls, we reany message on the outside call that November is also a time for rememof the glass candleholder. Add any other graphic elements of brance, celebration and prayer for the souls choice around the painted text. Set in heaven and purgatory. So, among the fun aside and let dry. Push the pointed and chaos of the season, we should take time end of several brads into the pillar candle to create a decorative out to pray for those going through a rough time and – of course – pray for the souls who’ve banding. Set candle aside. Lastly, pour the glass pebbles into the gone before us. painted candleholder and place

A candle

candle inside.

A couple of years ago, my brother-in-law’s father passed away. Shortly thereafter, at Christmas, my parents gave him a memorial candle as a special gift for remembering and praying for his father. This beautiful candle, in a polished wooden case, came with an engraved prayer. My brother-inlaw, sister and their daughter have made it a custom to light that candle at every holiday and on the anniversary of his death, and pray that prayer in remembrance of him.

Well, the overpriced gift shop memorial candle is very nice, but those who know me know that my motto is, “Don’t buy it, make it.” So here is a simple project you could do amid eating turkey, ordering gifts online and decorating the tree. It is something you can make to remember a loved one who has died or give as a gift to someone who recently lost a loved one.

More ideas • Personalize the candle itself by using letter brads to spell out name.

• For a more traditional look, use a smaller glass hurricane candle holder and tie a ribbon around the top.

• Wrap entire project in cellophane, tie with a ribbon and give as a gift.

By Michelle Sessions DiFranco | Photography by Phillip Shippert

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er silent tears fell down her cheeks. She had lost her child in early pregnancy a few months ago, and she was trying to be strong. She had come into the church that Sunday morning to celebrate the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, but in the pew in front of her, she saw a mother holding a newborn child. She could not hold back the tears.

She looked up at the cross.

Jesus was there in his agony and it seemed to her that he was looking at her. She too was sharing in his suffering. If she could somehow let go and surrender this to the Father, she knew God’s loving hand would wipe the tears from her eyes.

She understood that Jesus knows the pain of grief. When he came to the tomb of his friend, Lazarus, Scripture records simply that “Jesus wept.” (John 11:35) He wept in grief, even though he knew that in a few moments he would bring Lazarus back to physical life and restore him to his family. By his tears, Jesus showed us that grief is not a sign of a lack of faith or trust in God. It is a normal part of what it means to be human. It is a sign that we love.

But how do we deal with it? If you are going through grief, be patient with yourself. Acknowledge it. Accept it. Turn over the pain and hurt to God the Father. Jesus turned to his heavenly Father and “offered prayers and supplications with loud cries and tears to the one who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence.”

surrender ourselves in trust to the loving care of God our Father. God is doing a work in us through the grief. Indeed, like Christ, we are being “made perfect” by what we are suffering.

There will be resurrection – through death to life! Through sorrow and pain to acceptance and peace. From tears of sorrow to tears of joy.

God hears the cry of our hearts and sees the tears that we shed. “My wanderings you have noted; are not my tears stored in your vial, recorded in your book?”

(Ps 56:8) It was a custom in Jesus’ day to store the tears one shed in a jar or vial, called a “tear jar.” It was a way of “letting go” by expressing the pain and loss of a loved one and turning to God in the hope God would see.

Imagine God collecting your tears!

The death of grief those who sow in tears will reap with joy

(Heb 5:7-9)

Jesus teaches us how to go through grief. We accept it and During the month of November, as we remember those who have died and those who are grieving, pray these prayers each day:

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Memorare – Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help or sought your intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to you, O virgin of virgins, my mother.

To you I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful.

O Mother of the Word incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen.

Helping people through grief.

Today, Jesus continues to minister to us through his body, the church. I have seen so many people grieve deeply and witnessed the church or family or network of friends be the “hand of God” that wipes the tears from sorrow-filled eyes. A person who is bereft needs support and love. Love heals us all.

Don’t try to rush things.

We need to remember that each person experiences loss uniquely. Some people are affected more profoundly than others. There is no “time table” for finishing grief. Be patient and help the bereaved

Salve Regina – Hail holy Queen, Mother of mercy, our life, our sweetness, and our hope. To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve. To thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears. Turn then, most gracious Advocate, thine eyes of mercy toward us. And after this our exile show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary.

Pray for us, O Holy Mother of God. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ. Amen.

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I have seen so many people grieve deeply andcare witnessed the of church or family network ork Anxiety distracts us from remembering the love, and strength our Protector.

Weorcan feel so out of control of we friends beour thefear “hand of God” that wipesofthe tears from that clutch all the tighter, instead giving it to Godsorrow-filled eyes.

Be a good listener.

Don’t be afraid of tears.

Sometimes we want to jump in and try to make things all better by offering advice, or pointing out the positive. Remember that working through grief takes time. When we tell someone to “let go” and “get over it” and “move on,” we can hinder the process. Be present. Being a good listener enables someone else to move on. He or she knows that someone cares. Let the tears flow. Tears can help the person express and release the sorrow within them.

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person to be patient with the healing process. Remembering and cherishing a lost loved one is very important at this time.

I remember one elderly man who had lost his wife. He wanted to speak to me about it. We went together to her grave and he asked me to kneel down with him to say a prayer. We did. There were many tears. He wanted to know if it was OK that he still spoke to her from time to time inside his heart, or even out loud.

He was worried that he was doing something wrong. He thought getting over his grief meant he had to forget her.

I assured him he was doing nothing wrong, and suggested that he give himself some time each day to pray to the Lord for her and to speak with her in his own heart. She was alive! As Jesus said, “God is a God of the living, not of the dead!” She is still joined to him and the whole church in Christ. That is what we mean when we pray “I believe in the communion of the saints.” He did so and was grateful for this help in working through his grief.

Healing does not mean forgetting, but remembering with hope and trust in our hearts.

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Healing does not mean forgetting, but remembering with hope and trust in our hearts.

Encourage attendance at a bereavement support group.

The loss of loved ones can be so devastating that a person may not know where to turn or what to do. Many churches have bereavement support groups to help. Two people shared with me how God helped them find healing and much more through such a group. They had both lost their spouses and it seemed as if their lives too had come to an end. It was hard for them to function. “Letting go” seemed impossible. The one spouse recognized this by her difficulty in moving her deceased husband’s shoes. She just could not do it for a long time.

But each one knew God wanted them to live and move on. As Jesus said, “I have come that you might have life in abundance.” The local church bereavement support group gave them a place where they could come together and openly talk about what was going on inside.

It was comforting to know that others

understood and that they were not going crazy. They were able to work through their grief with the prayer and the help of their supportive community.

While sorrow and grief are not completely dispelled, the pain becomes more bearable when a person feels loved and supported. For these two people, an even more wonderful thing happened. In time, they discovered they loved each other and were married. They were able to let go of their emotional pain and say “yes” to the new life that was right before them.

Pray for those in grief.

We all experience little losses and disappointments frequently, and at times we must mourn the death of loved ones.

In the beautiful prayer and hymn called Salve Regina, we pray “Hail Holy Queen… to thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears.” Mary is often hailed as Our Lady of Sorrows. She knows how sorrow can literally pierce the human heart. She endured the brutal crucifixion of her own beloved son before her eyes. Mary can bring comfort and help as only a mother can.

Pray the Salve Regina and the Memorare for anyone going through grief.

Like all things on this earth, grief will have its own end.

Mother Teresa had a beautiful saying as she helped many people die with dignity and love.

“Never have so much sorrow that you forget the joy of the resurrection!” As we help others through grief, may God help us always to carry the hope of the resurrection in our hearts.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.” (Ps 34:19) – Fr. Bill Ashbaugh

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Voting Guide

he November 2006 political campaigns the candidates, the issues and your vote in 2006 may result in major shifts in public policy, as many states elect new senators, state representatives and governors. Additionally, ballots are filled with questions that will shape the direction states take on issues ranging from education to civil rights.

While the Catholic Church does not, and cannot, advocate for particular candidates, church teaching shapes our response to the key issues facing voters this year.

Here is a brief discussion of some of those issues, followed by some questions you should ask yourself before heading to the polls.

Human Life

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Abortion, the purposeful killing of a child before birth, is never morally acceptable. The church teaches that all human beings are deserving of respect and must be protected from the moment of conception until natural death. A candidate claiming he or she is personally opposed to abortion, yet who supports the procedure as public policy, represents an indifference to the protection of human life.

State-sanctioned killing, otherwise known as the death penalty, cannot be justified by the Catholic social conscience.

Catholic social teaching implores the faithful to protect even those who take the lives of others. Erro-

neous evidence, forced confessions, the public cost of constant appeal and the likelihood for human error also represent good public policy reasons why the death penalty must be opposed.

Assisted suicide must be consistently rejected by a wellformed Catholic conscience.

Assisted suicide is understood as an action or omission which of itself or by intention causes death in order for suffering to be eliminated. The church has stated that “the pleas of gravely ill people who sometimes ask for death are not to be understood as implying a true desire for euthanasia; in fact, it is almost always a case of an anguished plea for help and love.

What a sick person needs, beside medical care, is love, the human

Ask yourself: • Where does the candidate stand on abortion?

• Where does the candidate stand on the death penalty?

• Where does the candidate stand on assisted suicide?

• Where does the candidate stand on destructive embryonic stem cell research?

and supernatural warmth with which the sick person can and ought to be surrounded ...”

Embryonic stem cell research has ascended to the forefront of challenges to the dignity of human life. It is an issue that can divide even close family members.

The Catholic Church supports advancements in adult stem research, but opposes embryonic stem cell research, which involves the destruction of human embryos. The church also rejects the human cloning technique, somatic cell nuclear transfer, which destroys human life.

“There is no suffering, no matter how grave, that can justify killing a life; there are no reasons, no matter how noble, that make plausible the creation of human beings, destined to be used and destroyed.”

Religious Freedom

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Freedom of religion, including conscience, is an inalienable right of the human person, and is guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution. Our nation has a long history of respect for the autonomous operation of faith-based agencies. When the Ursuline Sisters expressed their concerns in 1804 to President Thomas Jefferson that their services might not be allowed in the new nation, his response was that “your institution will be permitted to govern itself according to its own voluntary rules without interference from the civil authority.”

Ask yourself: • Where does the candidate stand on protecting the rights of religious groups to act in accord with the teaching of their faith?

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• Where does the candidate stand on the right of individuals and organizations to express their right of conscience in the provision of services?

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Economic justice and fiscal issues

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Matters of importance, such as economic justice, social responsibility, human dignity and concern for the common good must all be considered when policy-makers come to the table.

Of particular concern must be the various state and federal programs

that are most responsible for ensuring the health and safety of children, poor, elderly, sick and homeless. It is critical to advocate support for programs that directly benefit our society’s most vulnerable population.

Ask yourself: • Does the candidate support preserving and promoting programs that protect the poor and most vulnerable members of our society?

Education and health care The church has long held that parents are the primary educators of their children and should have a greater role in what, how and where their children are educated.

Educational reform must continue to include a greater role for parents and families.

Health care is a human right, and genuine health-care reform, recognizing the dignity of persons and the unique needs of the poor, is a matter of fundamental justice.

Ask yourself: • Where does the candidate stand on the rights of parents to choose the educational setting for their children and the state’s obligation to provide the means to exercise that right?

• Where does the candidate stand on extending quality health-care benefits as a right to all people?

War and Peace

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As the election approaches, many people will base their votes on the government’s handling of the war in Iraq and whether or not the U.S. presence there is moral and justified.

The church strongly endorses an approach to conflict that promotes peaceful resolution of conflict.

Public authorities have the right and duty to impose on citizens the obligations necessary for national

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defense. That defense is subject to rigorous scrutiny and must meet all the following criteria: • The damage inflicted by the aggressor on the nation or community of nations must be lasting, grave and certain.

• All other means of putting an end to it must have been shown to be impractical or ineffective.

• There must be serious prospects of success.

• The use of arms must not produce evils and disorders graver than the evil to be eliminated.

The power of modern means of destruction weights very heavily in evaluating this condition.

Ask yourself: • Does the candidate support the conditions above, which are commonly known as the “just-war” theory?

• Is the candidate a strong advocate for peace?

Immigration

Getting it wrong – the Michigan Civil Rights Initiative A ballot initiative called Michigan Civil Rights Initiative seeks to eliminate race/ethnic/ gender-based preferences in admissions, hiring and contracting in public institutions. The opposition to this proposal crosses party lines, business and labor divisions and various church denominations.

The Catholic Church has articulated its position through the United States Council of Catholic Bishops’ document, Faithful Citizenship: “Where the effects of past discrimination persist, society has the obligation to take positive steps to overcome the legacy of injustice. We support judiciously administered affirmative action programs as tools to overcome discrimination and its continuing effects.”

– Ron Landfair, Diocese of Lansing Office of Black Catholic and Multi-cultural Ministry

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The Catholic bishops of Mexico and the U.S. issued a joint pastoral letter regarding immigration reform, Strangers No Longer: Together on the Journey of Hope. Some of their recommendations for reform include: • Global antipoverty efforts • Expanded opportunities to reunify families, including the expansion of numbers of visas available for this purpose • Broad-based legalization, so that undocumented immigrants can obtain legalization if they demonstrate good moral character and have built up equities in this country • Restoration of due process A temporary worker program that includes:

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a path to permanent residency that is achievable/verifiable, family unity to allow immediate family members to join the worker, job portability that allows workers to change employers, labor protections as they apply to U.S. workers, enforcement mechanisms and resources to enforce workers’ rights, wages and benefits that do not undercut domestic workers, mobility between U.S. and homeland and within U.S., labor-market test to ensure U.S. workers are not harmed.

Ask yourself: • Where does the candidate stand on the issue of immigration reform?

• Does the candidate support the bishops’ recommendations for treatment of immigrants?

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Any child who is abandoned, abused, scared or homeless will find within a Catholic agency staff members dedicated to that child’s protection. This faith-based environment can only thrive, however, as long as the state allows each agency to operate independently. The state has an obligation to continue funding private agencies at appropriate levels rather than incrementally performing the job itself.

Ask yourself: • Does the candidate support the traditional definition of the family?

• Does the candidate favor private agencies providing certain services, such as adoption, that would otherwise be provided by the government? – Michigan Catholic Conference, Justice for Immigrants, CCC, Statements from the USCCB

THE NUMBERS

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Children and families

LCHS hosts all-state invitational More than 500 Michigan runners from 32 Catholic high schools gathered Aug. 26 at St. Francis Retreat Center in DeWitt for the first Michigan Catholic Cross Country Invitational, hosted by Lansing Catholic High School. Lansing Catholic will host this event annually. Following the meet, the award-winning Christian rock band Critical Mass performed. After the concert, Bishop Carl F. Mengeling offered an open-air Mass. Jackson Lumen Christi’s Josh McAlary edged Lansing Catholic’s Ian McDowell for the boys’ title.

Lumen Christi’s Hillary Snyder and Kelly Crowley finished second and third after Detroit Regina’s Gina Valgoi in the girls’ race, but their team won the title.

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Michigan women are paid 67 cents for every dollar paid to men.

In the 2006 Congressional elections,

37 52% 20 of Catholics prefer a Democratic candidate;

41%

prefer a Republican.

(Gallup)

% of Catholics say abortion is morally acceptable. (Gallup)

% of Catholics who attend church weekly say abortion is morally acceptable. (Gallup)

48% 32%

(MCC)

SIXTY-THREE percentage of Catholics who say the death penalty is morally acceptable. (Gallup)

FORTY-FIVE percentage of Catholics who attend church weekly who say the death penalty is morally acceptable. (Gallup)

of Catholics say doctor-assisted suicide is morally acceptable. (Gallup) of Catholics who attend church weekly say doctorassisted suicide is morally acceptable. (Gallup)

55% of Catholics say stem 37% of Catholics who attend cell research on human em- church weekly say stem cell rebryos is morally acceptable. search on human embryos is (Gallup) morally acceptable. (Gallup)

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percentage of likely voters who

Approximately

say the situation in Iraq is the most important issue when considering their vote. (Gallup)

unauthorized immigrants live in the U.S. (Gallup)

Children’s garden grows pride In spring 2006, the students of St. Peter’s school in Eaton Rapids planted a children’s garden around a donated statue of St. Francis of Assisi. The students presented their garden to their grandparents on Grandparents Day on May 25. Throughout the summer, the parishioners tended the garden.

Blessed Sacrament seeking former members Blessed Sacrament Church in Burton will be celebrating their 50th anniversary until June 2007. If you were a parishioner, student, teacher or religious member in the past, please contact Amanda at the office 810.742.3151.

November 2006

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Capuchins celebrate 150 years The Capuchin Provinces of St. Joseph and St. Mary, headquartered in Detroit, are celebrating the 150-year anniversary of the first permanent Capuchin foundation in the Americas. As part of the celebrations, which will take place throughout the two provinces over the next 15 months, the Capuchin provinces commissioned Sister Delores Dufner, OSB, to compose lyrics that were set to the hymn, Rendez A Dieu.

Nine parishes get new faith leaders Nine people have stepped forward to become directors of adult faith formation, Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults.

The new leaders are Terese Adams at St. John the Evangelist in Fenton, Todd Gale at Miraculous Medal Parish in Jackson, Liz Heslip at St. Agnes in Fowlerville, Chuong Nguyen at St. Andrew Dung Lac Parish in Lansing, Anthony Shaughnessy at Queen of the Miraculous Medal in Jackson, Elizabeth Siegal at Christ the King in Ann Arbor and Marcia Strausbaugh at St. Patrick Parish in Brighton. Barbara Zaremba and Sue Newberry will head up evangelization with Resurrection Parish in Lansing.

Linda Knoll and Herb Estes will begin their second year as RCIA directors with St. Pius X Parish in Flint and St. Mary Star of the Sea in Jackson.

Weber Center available The Weber Center, a retreat and conference center in Adrian, is available for parish use. Please go to www.webercenter.org for more information.

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Catholic Conference urges support for faith-based child placement services Michigan Catholic Conference Vice President for Public Policy Paul A. Long made the following statement after the House of Representatives passed legislation that provides conscious protection for faith-based child placement agencies; “As a matter of religious freedom, faith-based agencies can and should be able to provide child placement services within the precepts of their faith tradition without the obstruction from state government,” says Long. “This legislation simply asks the state of Michigan to respect the constitutional guarantee of religious freedom and all the Catholic Church and other faithbased child placement agencies to operate within the tenets of their religious tradition. Michigan Catholic Conference applauds the House of Representatives for passing these important bills and calls on the Senate and the administration to finish up the job.”

House Bills 5908 and 5909 were both passed by the House of Representatives with bipartisan support and now await consideration from the state Senate.

Michigan Catholic Conference is the official public policy voice of the Catholic Church in the state.

Local writer inspires teens

This moment in time ...

Holy Cross Parish, St. Clair County, Marine City Father Gabriel Richard received this triangular plot of land by way of a grant from President John Quincy Adams on April 1, 1825. This area, known as Catholic Point, contains a church, a rectory, a convent, the former high school, a new high school and a grade school. The present church edifice, the second to stand on the site, was built in 1903.

The tracker organ in the church was built in 1861 and is one of the earliest Americanbuilt models in Michigan. Among former pastors of Holy Cross Parish, in addition to Father Gabriel Richard, were Bishop Frederic Baraga and Father Lawrence Kilroy. Holy Cross Parish has remained in continuous service to the people for more than 150 years. Visit www. holycrossonline. net/parish/history.html for more information.

Brian Willshire, a school counselor in Middleville and a parishioner of St. Cyril and Methodius Church, has published Hauntings: Evil Confronted; the book is aimed toward teens and has a strong faith message.

Fighting Irish celebrate first home field ever After 150 years, Fr. Gabriel Richard High School in Ann Arbor has its own field. The $1.2 million dollar addition will house the football, soccer and lacrosse teams.

Patrick McDonald named chair of Guest House Board of Trustees Patrick McDonald, Brighton, was recently elected chair of the Board of Trustees of Guest House, the world’s premier treatment centers for Catholic clergy and religious with alcoholism.

McDonald is a permanent deacon for the Diocese of Lansing and serves at St. Patrick Parish, Brighton.

Guest House has headquarters in Lake Orion, and operates facilities for treatment in Lake Orion and in Rochester, Minn.

The organization is celebrating the 50th anniversary of its founding this year.

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c o m m u n i t y

things to do:

At St. Francis Retreat Center For information about these offerings, visit www.stfrancis.ws or call 866.669.8321.

Blackthorn, a Celtic folk ensemble, will perform Sun., Nov.5, at St. Gerard Weber Hall, 4433 W. Willow, Lansing as a fundraiser for the Retreat Center. Dinner at 6 p.m., concert at 7 p.m., $35.

Seeking to Continue the Healing Process When Grief is Raw, facilitated by Doris Strife, MSW and Richard Strife, Ph.D., Oct. 28, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. $35 per person, includes lunch and morning hospitality The Threads of Our Lives, A Contemplative Retreat for Women, with Sister Suzanne Eichhorn, O.P. and Sharan Egan, Nov. 17-19. We will share time and space for being with the threads of our lives in prayer and creative stitching. $125 per person.

Healing the Heart’s Cry, a weekend of healing for women who are survivors of sexual abuse. $150 per person, Nov. 17-19.

Come Journey With Me, a married couples retreat, with Fr. Larry Delaney, and Dan and Cec Kjos, Dec. 1-3. $225 per couple Communication, Intimacy and Commitment, Dec. 2 from 9:30 a.m.-4 p.m. $99 per couple, includes a continental breakfast, lunch and marriage materials.

Please contact Tony for more information at 517.487.0478.

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November Readings Wednesday, November 1 All Saints (Holy day of obligation) Rev 7:2-4,9-14 Ps 24:1-4ab,5-6 1 John 3:1-3 Matt 5:1-12a Sunday, November 5 Thirty-first Sunday in Ordinary Time Deut 6:2-6 Ps 18:24,47,51 Heb 7:23-28 Mark 12:28b34 Sunday, November 12 Thirty-second Sunday in Ordinary Time 1 Kings 17:1016 Ps 146:7-10 Heb 9:24-28 Mark 12:38-44 or 12:41-44 Sunday, November 19 Thirty-third Sunday in Ordinary Time Dan 12:1-3 Ps 16:5,8-11 Heb 10:1114,18 Mark 13:24-32 Sunday, November 26 Christ the King Dan 7:13-14 Ps 93:1-2,5 Rev 1:5-8 John 18:33b-37

Are you interested in making new Catholic friends? Revitalizing your inner self? Renewing your relationship with God? Finding peace and healing from past hurts? Are you 21 to 35 years of age and single? If so, you may want to consider attending a REFRESH weekend encounter.

The next weekend will be held Nov. 3-5 in Howell. For more information, please contact Nick at 734.752.5480.

The St. Agnes Fowlerville Youth group will be hosting a spaghetti dinner on Saturday Nov. 18 at 6 p.m. in the church gathering space. The cost of dinner is a donation. Come help support our youth group and enjoy a great meal and fellowship.

The Restorative Justice Ministry is seeking individuals who are interested in writing to prisoners confined in state prisons. The letters are screened through the Catholic Charities Office. The mission of the program is to provide spiritual and psychological support as well as friendship to men and women behind prison bars. For more information, please contact Tim at 517.342.2495.

The Holy Redeemer annual craft show and bake sale will be held Nov. 18 from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. in the Family Life Center at Holy Redeemer Catholic Church.

The DeWitt Knights of Columbus will present an information program about adoption on Nov. 2 in the Parish Hall of St. Jude. For more information, please call Bill at 517.267.0953.

The Commissioning of Lay Ecclesial Ministers will take place Nov. 4 at St. Mary Cathedral in Lansing at 10 a.m.

An Ongoing Formation Day, Why Don’t They Do What I Want?; Supervising Employees, will take place Nov. 9 at St. Patrick, Brighton for priests, pastoral coordinators, principals and parish business managers.

Rachel’s Vineyard weekend retreat will take place Nov. 17-19. Project Rachel deals with healing after an abortion. For more information, call Beth at 734.878.2217, ext. 214.

The sixth- and -seventh-grade religious education students of St. Agnes Church in Fowlerville will be hosting dinner and game night on Nov. 30 for the St. George Ministries of Livingston County.

St. Joseph Parish, Dexter, will host its annual silent auction and dinner dance on Sat., Nov. 4, 6 p.m. Tickets are $50 per person or $80 per couple. Call 734.426.8483.

At Weber Center The Weber Center in Adrian will host the workshop In Conversation: The Universe Story and Gospel Dec. 1-2. This workshop provides us with an opportunity to begin the Advent season by being centered in the Gospel and universe story. Please register by Nov. 10. Single occupancy is $150, double occupancy is $100 per person and there is a $50 deposit. For more information or to register, call 517.266.4000.

November 2006

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St. Joseph Shrine in Irish Hills will feature Catholic issues on the ballot Nov. 5, FOCUS discussion Nov. 12 and ‘Catholics vs.

Christian: Why are we different?’ on Nov. 19. All sessions take place on Sunday from 9:30 a.m.-10:45 a.m.

heaven, purgatory, hell where are we going?

november café events

A study of encyclicals will take place on the last Tuesday of the month at 2 p.m. and 6:30 p.m.; ‘Salvifici Doloris — on the Meaning of Human Suffering’ will be discussed Nov. 28 at St. Joseph Shrine.

Praying with Body, Mind and Spirit: Moving through Advent will be held Sat., Dec. 2, 10 a.m.- 2 p.m. $40 (includes lunch). Heart of Jesus Prayer Center, 21151 E. Thirteen Mile Rd., St. Clair Shores, 48082.

Contact Janene Ternes at 734.429.7754 or visit www.prayer-in-motion.com.

St. Patrick Parish (Brighton) Catholic Men’s Spiritual Movement will host Fr. Larry Richards and Kevin Walters at its Catholic Men’s Night Thursday, Nov. 16, 7 p.m.-9 p.m. Call Mike Rutkowski at 810.229.9863.

A Protecting God’s Children awareness session for adults will be held Oct 30, St. Francis of Assisi, Ann Arbor, 6:30 p.m.

Take a hike Sharing the Wealth How do you get several hundred parishioners to give themselves a spiritual and physical ‘tuneup’? The health ministry team at St. Jude in DeWitt took a virtual walk to Jerusalem with impressive results. Read all about it at “Share the Wealth” on the diocesan Web site.

In the diocesan planning process, parishes have been introducing initiatives or giving renewed emphasis to existing programs that have proven effective in achieving parish objectives. These activities usually come to light through the parish annual pastoral planning report and constitute a wealth of ideas that may be useful to other parishes. The diocesan Web site contains descriptions of all programs since we have introduced this feature.

A new idea is introduced each month.

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God did not create us for hell nor does he predestine anyone to live in that state of being. Those who live in hell have persistently and deliberately chosen to live apart from God’s love.

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eaven is that ecstatic communion of all who are perfectly incorporated into Christ. To be immeasurably loved by God and by others is to live in heaven. It’s not a place, it’s a state of being.

Some live heavenly lives right here on earth.

Hell is also a state of being. Some live hellish lives here on earth. Hell is to live in a definitive rejection and self-exclusion from communion with God and all of those who live in blessed union with him. God did not create us for hell nor does he predestine anyone to live in that state of being. Those who live in hell have persistently and deliberately chosen to live apart from God’s love.

The Catholic Church has never declared that any one particular human being is living in hell. Only those who refuse to believe and who definitively refused God’s love are in hell. This means that God does not put them there, they put themselves there – and God must allow them the results of their choices.

“The church can do no more than trust in the mercy of God, who desires that all people be saved,” says the catechism. God “wants everyone to be saved and reach full knowledge of the truth.” (1 Timothy 2:5) It is not God who rejects us and throws us into hell – we reject God and forever live in that rejection. Decisions have consequences!

And purgatory – what’s that? There are some who quite obviously have lived and died without being perfectly incorporated into Christ. They need to purge away those elements within their hearts and souls that obscure his light and block his love. They are among God’s elect but are God’s “unfinished business.”

Could it be that many of us are in purgatory here on earth? I believe that to be the case. I know from my own experience the cleansing fire of God’s love.

I know God loves me and I know I could better love God. I strive to purge away all within me that detracts from God’s presence, power, and love.

Limbo? That is no longer a part of the church’s teachings on life after death.

It was, at most, only a theological speculation that never became an official doctrine that Catholics were required to accept.

God always offers us his love; he will never withdraw his offer of love or turn his back on us.

God offers – we respond.

The thing to be concerned about is not what God will do, it’s what we choose to do. We may reject God; he will never reject us. – Fr. Charles Irvin

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