December 2011

p a r e n t i n g

j o u r n e y

This bullying has to stop What do we do? s p i r i t u a l

f i t n e s s

The meaning of the Christmas crèche t h e o l o g y

1 0 1

The new Roman Missal: What’s changed?

What hasn’t?

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contents 6 yourlife The Magazine of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing PUBLISHER

Rev. Dwight Ezop

EDITOR AND CHAIRMAN

Dec. 2011 • Volume 12: Issue 10

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CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS

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FAITHTM (USPS 019993) is a publication of FAITH Catholic, Diocese of Lansing, 1500 E. Saginaw St., Lansing, MI 48906-5550. FAITHTM is a membership publication of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing and is published monthly except for February and August. To purchase a subscription, log on to FAITHmag.com. If you have a change of address, please contact your parish. Periodicals postage paid in Lansing, MI and at additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to FAITHTM, 1500 E. Saginaw St., Lansing MI 48906-5550. ©2011 FAITH Catholic. FAITH is a trademark of FAITH Catholic.

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19 yourstories 19 profile Deacon Michael Dear sees opportunity in Flint 20 our story How NFP helped Amanda and Jason have a family 22 cover story Marti “met” Jesus through the Cursillo movement 26 special report The meaning of marriage

26 19

T. Gennara

PROOFREADING

Carlson Productions | Tom Gennara (cover) | James Luning | Philip Shippert | Don Quillan

T. Gennara

12 in the know with Father Joe Why don’t parents take their crying babies out of Mass?

13 morality every day Is lying always a sin?

14 theology 101 The new Roman Missal: What’s changed? What hasn’t?

16 spiritual fitness Bow down – The meaning of the Christmas crèche

Derek Melot

J. Lunning

12 yourfaith

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

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table of contents

6 work life Can I be penalized for using a benefit?

8 parenting journey This bullying has to stop.

What do we do?

8 conflict resolution Decorations are over the top 9 marriage matters He says: “I don’t want my son raised by a stranger.” She says: “I love my job.” What do they do?

10 culture A light for us all

Most Reverend Earl Boyea

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Liturgical calendar: St. Francis Xavier, priest December 3 | St. Nicholas, bishop December 6 | St. Ambrose, bishop and doctor of the Church December 7

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from the editors

Advent

is my favorite time of year

I

like Advent. It is my favorite of all the Church’s cycle of seasons. Its four weeks are a breath of fresh air in the midst of the busy-ness of this time of year. Advent reminds me that even with reconciliation services, Christmas parties, pageants and the hectic preparations for Christmas, we still need to be quiet and reflective. In the midst of the everyday happenings of my life as pastor of a growing parish there is indisputable need to take time to be quiet.

T. Gennara

Father Dwight Ezop is editor of FAITH Magazine and pastor of the Catholic Community of St. Jude. E-mail: editor@ FAITHmag.com.

What’s the purpose of all this opportunities to become more quiet? To put it simply, I think aware of Christ’s daily coming Advent is a into our lives. wonderful gift We take this of time – four time to draw I believe the weeks – to near to the Church’s seadraw near Lord, who sonal wisdom to the Lord. seeks opIn setting portunities to affords us four aside some draw near to weeks of daily of the hustle his people. opportunities and bustle of Advent to become everyday life is also a more aware of and reflecting time rich in Christ’s daily on the cool traditions. stillness that Perhaps you coming into we find in the have an Adour lives. world at this vent wreath time of year, in a place of I believe the prominence Church’s seasonal wisdom in your home. Near it might affords us four weeks of daily also be found a family manger

saint of the month

St. Juan Diego Juan Diego was born in Cuautitlan, Mexico, in the 15th century.

He was a religious man who converted to Christianity after the Spanish conquest.

The Virgin Mary appeared to Juan

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setting or crèche. Gathering to light the candles of the Advent wreath and pray in the presence of a visible reminder of the Christ-child’s coming in the flesh is a perfect time to enjoy the reflective peace and quiet of this holy season. Sister Ann Shields has some wonderful ideas of how we might deepen our Advent prayer this year in Spiritual Fitness.

A renewed awareness of the Christ-child’s coming in the Christmas event of the Incarnation is one goal of our Advent journey. Bishop Boyea reminds us that making a daily gift of oneself to Christ is a powerful way that we can share in the mystery of the Incarnation.

Although Advent this year is a full four weeks in duration, it will pass quickly. We should not miss the opportunities it affords us for additional time for prayer and reflection. I pray that each of us may have a peace-filled Advent and a blessed Christmas! And so, our journey in FAITH continues.

with a message for the local bishop. After expressing skepticism at Juan’s story, the bishop asked for a sign.

The next day Juan tried to avoid meeting Mary again, but she intercepted him.

She had Juan gather roses in his cloak to present to the bishop.

As he met with the bishop, Juan unfolded his cloak, the roses fell out and the image of the Virgin was imprinted on the cloth. The miracle and its story led to the conversion of many to Christianity.

Juan was a farmer and made mats for a living.

– Story and illustrations by Chris Sushynski

FAITH Magazine / December 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary December 8 | St. Juan Diego Cuauhtlatoatzin

Moments that change your life

FAITH by the numbers

W

hat are the moments that have changed your life? We all have them – the day we decide what college we’re going to attend, the day we offer or accept the marriage proposal, the day we answer God’s call to the priesthood, diaconate or religious life. college without stopping halfway to call and check in, because she knows I will fret otherwise. They are part of my heart and I cannot now imagine my life without them.

As we prepare for Christmas, we celebrate the birth of another child who changed our lives, and everyone’s. It is hard to imagine what the world would be like without him – let’s take a few moments during our busy Advent to be quietly grateful for the gift of Jesus Christ in all our lives.

T. Gennara

And then, of course, there is the moment you hold your newborn child for the first time. Twenty-four years later, I vividly recall lying in the recovery room with my son and becoming suddenly, overwhelmingly aware that my life would never be the same again.

And it has not been – I have not had a moment when my children’s lives have not been in my mind. I rejoice with them, cry with them, and worry for them. My daughter cannot drive home from

Elizabeth Solsburg is editorial director of FAITH Magazine. She can be reached at esolsburg@FAITHcatholic.com

He requested someone more important deliver Mary’s message.

Statistics from the Church:

14 49 %

of the world’s people live in the Americas

%

of the world’s Catholics live in the Americas

2011: 21% of the U.S. population are Catholic 1965: 24% of the U.S. population are Catholic

The bishop asks for proof.

– CARA

Juan’s appointment reminder.

December 9 | Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe December 12 | St. Lucy, virgin and martyr December 13 | St. John of the Cross, priest and doctor of the Church December 14

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work life

Q

My boss recently criticized me on my evaluation for taking “too much” sick time.

I’m still well within my limits, although I seem to have had a lot of colds and flu symptoms this year. Is he allowed to penalize me for using a benefit the company offers?

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FAITH Magazine / December 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

9 marriage matters

10 culture

a

Some organizations have policies and a culture that anticipate each employee will use his annual paid sick time. Such organizations view these days as paid personal time, used at the employee’s discretion. Other organizations approach things quite differently; they have an approach that sick time is to be used if it is necessary, yet its use is expected to be minimal and only for cases of inability to work, not a preference not to work. Your situation is likely the latter and I expect that what your boss is really saying is two-fold: 1) He doesn’t really believe you were so ill that coming into work was inadvisable; and 2) he doesn’t believe you have an “appropriate” commitment to work. In the world of work, your supervisor gets to define “appropriate.”

In your case, if this job is one to which your commitment is partial, i.e. it is just a job, and not a career with a commitment attached to it, then I understand how you may be thinking. On the other hand, if you foresee a future with your organization or you are on a career path important to you, then it may be time to reassess your attendance habits, as others may perceive them.

I am thinking of a reader’s response to a former column wherein she mentioned awareness amongst coworkers of those employees who put in the extra effort and

T. Gennara

Can I be penalized for using a benefit?

8 parenting journey

P. Shippert

yourlife

inside:

Nick Synko is a professional career and workplace issues coach. For more information, visit SynkoAssociates.com and CareersThroughFaith.org. those she labeled as “slackers.” She made an excellent point that the perception of other employees is another factor employees may want to consider. Do others see you as an “extra-effort person” or a “slacker?”

So, then, what is the perception of your work habits by others? Is the perception of your boss important to you or not? Are the perceptions of your co-workers important to you or not? Is your selfperception important to you or not? Be careful with your answer to that last question – today’s self-perception may become tomorrow’s reality.

The bigger issue than your attendance pattern, I believe, is, “How dedicated are you to excellence at the important things in your life.” Excellence, at least the attempt of excellence, drives many parts of my life. Someday, “Well done, good and faithful servant …” (Matthew 25:23) are the first words I hope to hear after I pass on. The hope of those words also may affect many choices in your life. Excellence at who he made you to be is the greatest way we can say “Thank you, Lord.”

St. Peter Canisius, priest and doctor of the Church December 21 | St. John of Kanty, priest December 23

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Y O U R

L I F E

parenting journey

This bullying has to stop.

What do we do?

Q

My fourth-grade son has become really clingy and has been making excuses not to go out on the playground at lunchtime. After asking him a few questions, I realized that a new classmate has been bullying – hitting kids when they’re standing in line and threatening them. My son is afraid it will get worse if he or I “tattle,” but this needs to stop. What should I do?

a

Although your son may feel lonely, he is far from alone.

Discuss options that are under your child’s control. Find out from your son how he has been responding to the bully’s actions. Help him figure out if there are more effective ways to react in each situation. Why Are You Picking on Me? Dealing With Bullies by John Burstein discusses specific actions such as

Talk to your child about cyberbullying. It might seem as if home is a refuge from bullying, but cyberbullying makes this aggression a 24/7 experience for many children. Text messages and social media sites allow the harassment to occur anywhere.

If your child remains anxious about participating fully in school, then consider having him talk to a school counselor or get a referral to a psychologist in your community. Encourage your child to share his fear and anxieties with God through prayer.

He can choose a Bible verse to bring to mind when the bully is near.

“When I am afraid, I will trust in you.” (Psalm 56:4)

Dr. Cathleen McGreal is a psychology professor and certified spiritual advisor.

Decorations are over the top

conflict resolution

I love Christmas as much as the next person, but my neighbor’s decorations are over the top. He lights up the house with so many bulbs that we end up with traffic jams from the gawkers who come to view the display. Sometimes, I have to wait to get into my own driveway – how can I stop this?

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friendly approach. Visit your neighbor and demonstrate your sincere appreciation for the gesture of enhancing his house and even the block with his decorations, however, you would like to

FAITH Magazine / December 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

negotiate with him certain inconveniences that are interrupting the daily life of the block. You can suggest that the lights go on when people have already come home after work and go off before midnight to allow people to go to bed in a peaceful way.

Mediation, whether informal or in the presence of lawyers, is another option for settling disputes. It is often the best way to resolve them.

S. Kendrick

Regretfully, this situation has created hundreds of disputes every year. We all agree that disputes between neighbors can become very bitter and cause great distress for both sides. Initially, I suggest a

T. Gennara

Get school administrators and teachers on board. A tattletale is someone who gossips about others.

On the other hand, your son is sharing important information with the adults at school. Emphasize that you will do your best, working with his teachers and principal, to keep him safe. Write down as many details as possible and share them with the school administrators. Do they have an anti-bullying plan in place? How do they plan to respond to this situation?

Now that the school officials are aware of the problem, efforts need to be made to change the classroom and playground cli-

mate. See how you and other parents can support these efforts. The solution should address long-term concerns and not just focus on this particular bully.

choosing a seat by the driver of the school bus. Role-play what your son plans to do when the bully approaches.

Dr. Gelasia Marquez is a psychologist and family counselor.

Solemnity of the Nativity of the Lord December 25 | St. Stephen, first martyr December 26

he

says:

“I don’t want my son raised by a stranger.”

she

“I love my job.”

Kelly says: I know we talked about the idea of me staying home with our children. But that was before the economy took a nosedive.

Steve didn’t mention that his company is doing poorly and that he had to take a 7 percent pay cut last year. Without that money, we really need my job. Also, I love my work – and in just these few months, I’ve realized that being a stay-at-home mother would bore me to tears.

Steve says: We always agreed that, when we had children, Kelly would stay home with them. So, when our son was born six months ago, I assumed Kelly would quit her job. However, once her company’s family leave was up, she announced that she intended to continue working and we’d need to find day care for Sam. I don’t want my son raised by a stranger – I want Kelly to live up to our agreement.

T

What

do they do?

his reminds us of a time within the history of the Roman Catholic Church when a non-Catholic party to a Catholic marriage was required to sign a statement saying they agreed to raise their children as Catholic. On the surface that sounded right and proper; however, most non-Catholics did not know what “being Catholic” really meant!

seldom reflects today’s needs, and is only a guide for tomorrow. Plans should be situationally applied and reviewed often for changes in circumstances, environment and desires. Plans should not be viewed as set in concrete because life events change our needs, wants and desires. Flexibility and adaptability are key ingredients for all marriages if they are to survive these difficult economic times and our changing families.

Kelly appears to be concerned about the family’s economic security and it appears that Steve is not addressing her concerns.

Our experience says that worries over the security of the home will trump previous agreements that do not address the principal worry faced by members of the family unit. Since Steve’s job is less stable, and he is concerned about day care, this might be an opportu-

your marriage matters nity for the couple to consider prayerfully the option of Steve staying home.

The important issue here is how this situation is affecting Steve and Kelly’s relationship; and, in turn, their relationship with a God who is Love. Love is gentle, kind and considerate and we are called to be Love to our spouse, as Jesus is to his spouse: the Church. When we become Jesus to our spouse, Love becomes the driver and solutions are developed that work for both spouses and not just one. There is something positive and life giving to a relationship when both spouses approach an issue out of love and respect for their partner.

It does not become a contest of who is correct or who won this particular round, instead, it becomes a gift of self for the other. Steve and Kelly would do well if they changed their approach from getting (what was agreed on in the past) to giving (what can I do for you, my beloved, today).

T. Gennara

Logically and ethically, how can a person be held accountable for something about which they know nothing. In other words, how can Kelly be held to an agreement for something she had no knowledge of – the future! Life happens and things we once thought possible or probable most often morph into some other blessing (often disguised as an obstacle) we never dreamed about. Jo and I faced a similar decision in the first years of our marriage; Jo wanted to continue working in the field for which she went to school, yet we had two children. Financially, we were just about breaking even after paying for the day-care center that our children did not like! It was time for a “different” decision that was not in our plans before we were married.

Circumstances and situations changed, and our plans needed to change along with them. And many people find that staying at home with their children brings rewards and blessings they could not foresee.

Living with a plan developed yesterday

says:

Deacon Tom Fogle and JoAnne Fogle help prepare couples for marriage.

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Y O U R

L I F E

culture

A light for us all

P. Shippert

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FAITH Magazine / December 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

Feast of St. John, apostle and evangelist December 27 | Feast of the Holy Innocents, martyrs Decem

C

hristmas is great. Winter is not. Outside of the excitement for the holidays, many of us struggle through these short, dark days in the Northern Hemisphere. So if you are like me, perhaps you’ll benefit from the inspiration and motivation that comes from one of our saints: St. Lucy. embodied eyeballs, I learned more about her. I became aware that she is the patron saint of vision – a symbolic contrast to the darkness of December.

St. Lucy (Lucia) lived in Syracuse, Sicily, under the Roman Emperor Diocletian.

One can only imagine how tough it was being a Christian trying to live a devout spiritual life in a violent and pagan early fourth century. One story has it that Lucia refused to marry a pagan and vowed to consecrate her life and virginity to God. The angry suitor handed her over to the Roman government. After several horrific attempts to kill her (including the gouging of her eyes), she finally died by a stab wound to her heart. In studying saints like these and the suffering they endured, I

P. Shippert

The Church recognizes the dark times of winter and celebrates opportunities for metaphor. Christmas, for example, was placed on Dec. 25 (thought to be the shortest day of the year) to mark Christ’s arrival, bringing and expanding light into the world as the days begin to subsequently lengthen.

It is also a time when we celebrate the feast day of St. Lucy, whose name means light. As a child, I was intrigued and interested in this saint because my loving grandma is named Lucy. At the same time, I was haunted by the saint’s macabre image in my Picture Book of Saints, where she was depicted holding a goblet containing two eyeballs staring directly at me. But, as I grew older and overcame my phobia of dis-

find the inspiration to persevere through the dark times of the year, and the dark and tough times of my life.

With Dec. 13 marking the feast day of St. Lucy, celebrations take place in those parts of the world where she is particularly revered. In Sweden, St. Lucy’s Day marks the beginning of the Christmas celebration. Local recipes are prepared as part of the traditional festivities. Among the homemade sweets is a Swedish ginger cookie called Pepparkakor. How wonderful that during this time of year,

we can use culinary arts to combat and liven the somber gloom of winter. I would imagine that St. Lucy applauds the invocation of her name within the context of celebration, cuisine, and the thwarting of winter’s darkness.

Aside from being easy to make, these crispy and delicious cookies are easy to eat.

The next time winter gets you down, warm your house with a batch of these treats, take inspiration from St. Lucy’s perseverance and find peace in knowing that you will make it to May.

Pepparkakor (Swedish Ginger Cookies) 1 cup unsalted butter (room temperature) 1 ½ cups brown sugar ½ cup molasses 1 egg 3 ½ cups flour

2 teaspoons ground cinnamon 2 teaspoons ground ginger 1 ½ teaspoons ground cloves 1 ½ teaspoons baking soda ½ teaspoon salt

T. Gennara

P. Shippert

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a large bowl or container, combine all dry ingredients (flour, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, baking soda and salt) and set aside. In a large mixing bowl, beat together the butter and brown sugar. Mix in egg and molasses until well combined. Slowly add dry ingredients into the creamed mixture. Knead and form into a ball.

Place dough into an airtight container and refrigerate for about an hour.

Remove from refrigerator and divide dough in half (leaving one half in refrigerator to stay firm). Roll dough to a 1/8inch thickness onto a cool, floured surface. Use cookie cutters to cut desired shapes. Using a spatula, carefully place onto a parchment lined (or greased) baking sheet. Bake for 8-10 minutes and cool completely on wire rack. Repeat process with remaining dough.

Michelle DiFranco is a designer and the busy mom of two children.

mber 28 | St. Thomas Becket, bishop and martyr December 29 | Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph December 30 | St. Sylvester I, pope December 31

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yourfaith in the know with Father Joe

Why don’t parents take their crying babies out of Mass?

Q

I don’t know if the number of screaming babies in our parish has increased, or whether parents are just clueless about not bringing them to church. I think there should be reverent silence at Mass, and the sound of babies crying is distracting. Don’t you agree?

a

The first thing I think of is a great story from Bishop Sheen. The story goes that a baby was crying very loudly during Mass. In this case, the mother picked up her child, who was crying loudly, and began carrying him out of church. Archbishop Sheen interrupted his homily and said, “My dear lady, that’s OK. Your baby isn’t bothering me.” The woman swung around and replied, “Maybe not, but you’re really bothering him!”

Isn’t that great? As I look over your question, I can read your frustration and promise you that it’s one a lot of people share.

Like everything else in life and in love, let’s look at this in as balanced a way as possible.

Personally, when I hear a child screaming, I confess that my first reaction is to be distracted. Like most priests, I don’t have children and am not around them much. So, as a result, my brain doesn’t have that filter that so many moms’ and dads’ brains have. Often,

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if there is too much noise, the noise becomes all I can hear.

The challenge here for me personally is to thank God for a couple of beautiful things: first, that someone, somewhere chose life and that gift is before me.

Not only did that person choose life, but also, by bringing that life to church, they are showing a radical and beautiful commitment to teach that life to live and love well. It really is a beautiful thing.

Also, this is a chance to exercise control over the only thing you have control over: You! I know that often, as a priest, I struggle during Mass because, in my mind, the noise is so loud I that I exert mighty effort to focus. What happens then, when my desire to pray the Mass clashes with my love for God’s children and my joy that they are there? I pray! I pray that God will focus my mind and help me be more grateful for the gift of life and the passing on of the faith that is happening.

It seems to me that if the

FAITH Magazine / December 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

The thing to remember here is that Mass is not just some social occasion.

It’s really not the same thing as going out to dinner in a fancy restaurant or going to the movies. It’s more like going to Thanksgiving at your parents’ house – the whole family gathered together in one place, present to each other. Sometimes loudly.

We don’t expect our nieces and nephews to be absent from the table just because they are not quiet (well, at least we don’t in my family!)

So, practically speaking, what does that mean? I’d like to see all of us act with charity. You know, the mother of that baby may not have gotten any sleep last night, and can barely see straight, but she’s here to worship God and be part of this community. How do we charitably welcome her – by glaring at her when her baby starts fussing? Or maybe by giving the baby a smile to distract him? Do we consider the fact that she may be there with several children, and it would be quite a production to haul them all out when one starts crying – but she has nobody to watch them while she just takes one out?”

Of course, we also need to balance out the equation: here’s a couple rules to help those who have children and want to engage in the Mass as best they can without being a distraction:

The meaning of the crèche

T. Gennara

Dear Fr. Joe:

choice is between bringing a child to Mass and not, then bring your child to Mass! We, as God’s people need to cowboy up and deal with the distractions that come our way.

One of my friends pointed this out to me in a discussion about this issue and I really like what she had to say:

The new Roman Missal

Send your questions to: “In the Know with Fr. Joe” FAITH Magazine, 1500 E. Saginaw St., Lansing, MI 48906 Or: JoeInBlack@priest.com • If there is a cry room, consider using it • There are very few (or no) circumstances where your child should be running in church or playing up in the sanctuary.

• The consecration is a particularly sacred moment and any bathroom breaks should wait until that part of the Mass is complete.

In the end, we all understand that Mass is an amazing and sacred celebration and we want to teach our children to behave and pay attention when they are there. But there is a learning curve that usually comes with age and we all need to be patient with those at different stages on that curve. If your baby is screaming inconsolably at the top of his or her lungs then, yes, you may want to think about stepping outside with your baby and seeing if you can help her feel better and settle down. That is simple charity for your child and your neighbors. But a little fussing? A little happy baby noise? I think Jesus is happy to hear the sounds of children in his house. I know I am.

Enjoy another day in God’s presence!

morality every day

Is lying always a sin?

I

sn’t lying always wrong? So says Augustine, Aquinas and the Catechism of the Catholic Church. But how to define lying seems undecided by the Church. The Eighth Commandment defines it rather narrowly: “don’t bear false witness” – a phrase that refers essentially to accusing someone falsely in a legal proceeding. Clearly, that is not the only form of speech that offends against the good of truth. But are all false statements forbidden by the Eighth Commandment?

The predominant tradition in the Church has been against all lying, even lies told as part of jokes and social niceties. Included, too, are lies told as part of

the activities of spying, sting operations, warfare tactics and false statements made to such individuals as Nazis intent on killing Jews. Although this tradition has been

dominant, there have been, and continue to be, challenges to the tradition; challenges tolerated by the Church – that is, challenges not ruled out as dissent.

Some philosophers and theologians promote a practice known as “mental reservation.” They disagree among themselves about what is permissible mental reservation. One form is simple equivocation: “There are no Jews in my house,” said by someone who is thinking, “because this isn’t really my house – the mortgage company owns it.” Another is saying, “There are no Jews in this house,” while mentally adding and not saying, “whom I am willing to turn over to you to be killed.” The second example was condemned by Innocent XI (which may or may not indicate approval of the first example). Certainly neither Aquinas or Augustine would approve of either example, nor is there any indication that the final authoritative version of the Catechism approves of mental reservation.

Other philosophers and theologians argue that one does not have a moral obligation to speak the truth to someone who does not deserve to know the truth, such as a Nazi intent on killing Jews. The first version of the Catechism, in fact, defined lying as “to speak or act against the truth in order to lead into error someone who has the right to know the truth.” (2483) The qualifying phrase was omitted in the final version, without explanation.

During the recent debate about the morality of the deceptive practices of Live Action, which claims to have shown that Planned Parenthood willingly aids and abets pimps, faithful Catholics supported all the understandings of lying. The admired and renowned Peter Kreeft argues that everyone intuitively knows it is moral to speak falsehoods to those threatening serious evil. Christopher Tollefsen – less well-known, but well-regarded among scholars – argues against all falsehoods because they involve presenting a false self to the world. It is time for Catholic thinkers to do their best to have this issue resolved.

Dr. Janet Smith is a professor of theology at Sacred Heart Seminary, Detroit.

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Y O U R

F A I T H

theology 101

Most importantly, at every liturgy, we continue to celebrate the Paschal Mystery – that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, suffered, died and rose from the dead to redeem us. By dying, he destroyed our death and by rising, he won for us eternal life.

The new Roman Missal:

What’s changed? What hasn’t?

I

In the past several years, a lot of ink has been spilled about the “changes to the Mass.” It’s true – there is a new version of the Roman Missal with a new English translation and we will all be using some new words. But the “new” Mass texts are actually more about continuity than change, more about tradition than translation. So, while it may be tempting to focus on what is changing, it is just as important to focus on what is staying the same.

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holy assembly to preach the Good News, to do good works and to build up the kingdom. The basic structure of the Mass will remain unchanged.

While some of the words of our prayers and acclamations will sound new, they are actually very old. They may be found in Sacred Scripture, Patristic literature and ancient prayers. We

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We will all celebrate the same Order of Mass that we have used since Vatican II nearly 50 years ago. At that time, the Council restored the Order of Mass that was used in the early centuries of the Church. Like countless generations of Christians before us, we read from the revealed word of God, we listen to homilies, we petition God for favors and mercy, and thank him for all he has done. The priest still consecrates simple bread and wine and transforms it into the body and blood of Christ. Young and old, saints and sinners are invited to participate in a sacred meal. We are then dismissed from this

exchange greetings taken from the letters of Paul, sing psalms from the Old Testament, pray eucharistic prayers written as early as the third century, profess a Creed based upon truths told by the Apostles, and participate in rituals that have been followed for centuries. We share the same mission, profess the same faith, receive the same sacraments and continue to celebrate the Eucharist as Christ himself told us to do in his memory.

Most importantly, at every liturgy, we continue to celebrate the paschal mystery – that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, suffered, died and rose from the dead to redeem us. By dying, he destroyed our death and by rising, he won for us eternal life. The words we choose to explore all the facets of that awesome mystery and to thank God for so great a gift have always been carefully chosen by the Church. For the words of our prayer reflect the words of our belief (lex orandi, lex credendi).

And while we celebrate a “living liturgy” that is always growing and adapting to the Church of the present age, we bear witness to an “unbroken tradition” that is steadfast in that belief (cf. GIRM 6-15).

This new Roman Missal, the third edition since Vatican II, was promulgated

by Pope John Paul II in 2000. It has taken eleven years to thoughtfully and faithfully translate it from Latin to English. The new words may take a few weeks or months to get used to. The faith we proclaim with those words is ageless.

Rita Thiron is director of the Office of Worship for the Catholic Diocese of Lansing and a member of the board of the Federation of Diocesan Liturgical Commissions.

FAITH Magazine / December 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

last homily

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llow the image of the resurrected Christ to guide your healing and sanctification.

In this earthly existence, our being hurt and wounded at some point is a given. No one can escape the various emotional, physical, psychological, and spiritual wounds that are inflicted upon us as we walk through our lives. Each of these wounds change who we are. Every wound disrupts the right ordering of our mind, body and soul; it disrupts our relationships with God, neighbor, self and creation.

In short, each wound leaves its own mark.

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FAITH Magazine asked Father Karl Pung, pastor of St. Patrick Parish, in Brighton

If you could give only one more homily, what would you say to God’s people?

The real question that confronts us is how to deal with these wounds. One temptation is to try and handle these wounds on our own. We may try to acknowledge then deny our hurts, wish them away, or to try and numb them with one vice or another. None of these will bring us true healing. These are various ways to cope, some better than others, but they do not heal the soul, mind or body.

For Christians, being healed is first about acceptance and is then about transformation.

Healing is not about returning to what we once were, or forgetting that something happened. Healing for a Christian is about allowing Christ to transform every aspect of our being into something that no longer causes us pain; something that is loved, gives God glory, and still allows every action or memory to remain a part of who we are. The image that comes to us from Scripture is Jesus’ carrying his own wounds in his resurrected body.

After Jesus’ resurrection, he still has the marks of his crucifixion, but they are transformed. When people look upon his wounds and touch them, these wounds do not cause Jesus pain, but give God glory. That is what we want for ourselves. To be transformed in such a way that all of our hurts no longer hurt, but give God glory. This transformation occurs first by accepting our wounds and pains, and then by inviting Jesus into them and allowing him to love them and to transform them. Each of our wounds will be with us for eternity, but there will be a day when they too will give glory to God instead of causing us pain.

Let us pray to know the love that Jesus knew that allowed him to trust himself and his wounds into the hands of the Father. Together, let us give God glory and be transformed.

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F A I T H

spiritual fitness

Bow down

The meaning of the Christmas crèche

Often, I hear people say that “we will take our children to the crib and explain to them what is going on in this scene and who he is. It is so dear, so good for the children.”

But what about us “world-weary” adults?

What do we think when we look at the crib scene? Do we still believe? If we do, what exactly do we believe? Will we kneel before the

manger scene in church this Christmas and thank God, our Father, for what he has given us in his Son, Jesus Christ?

God, the Father, gave us his only Son and that Son, Jesus, came into our world as a vulnerable, helpless infant depending on total care from human beings. He made himself utterly helpless so that we could draw near and not be afraid. God our Father, did not want us to be terrorized by seeing his infinite majesty. So he came “in human form, being born in the likeness of men.” (Phil. 2:7) We were made for union with God. But God will not coerce! He gave us the awe-full gift of free will so we are free to choose. We can choose to utterly reject or we can choose to draw close to that tiny infant in a cold manger, a food trough, who became like us in all things but sin so that we might more easily bow down.

God, the Father, gave us his only Son and that Son, Jesus, came into our world as a vulnerable, helpless infant depending on total care from human beings. He made himself utterly helpless so that we could draw near and not be afraid.

Spiritual exercise: • I would encourage you to have a manger scene in your home, beginning with Advent. Each day visit that little crèche and gaze upon this reminder that God loved you so much, he would come down to you, he would stoop so that you could gaze on him and see him eye to eye in order to save you from your sins and lead you home!

• This little child is your safety, your security, your savior, the one who conquered eternal death for you!

Does it take faith to believe that? Of course. So come to the crèche and kneel, bow down and ask God for faith.

Maybe you will feel like a fool, but the Gospel is a paradox. It always turns things upside down and inside out.

Embracing truth will set you free. “Bow down in order to be raised up.” Unless you become like a little child, you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven. The Gospel is a paradox over and over.

God turns the world’s priorities upside down and inside out • When we bow down before that manger, we are saying, in effect: “Lord, I kneel before you. I need your help, your saving grace in my life. I need to grow in faith that I might be able to trust you with my life.” You may feel foolish, but God hears that prayer and will respond. Give him the gift of your humility this Christmas, the admission that you don’t have all the answers – even that you don’t have any answers. Many things we’ve tried in life have failed, have turned to dust …

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he word was made flesh. The very source of life, the creator of all things of us sent his son in the likeness of sinful man. The Father sent his Son in human flesh to dwell among us that we might draw near to God. Do we?

Sister Ann Shields is a renowned author and a member of the Servants of God’s Love. Questions can be addressed to Sister Ann Shields, Renewal Ministries, 230 Collingwood, Suite 240, Ann Arbor, MI 48103 For more reflections on prayer and a fuller treatment of this topic, see my book: Pray and Never Lose Heart, available from Renewal Ministries, 230 Collingwood, Suite 240, Ann Arbor, MI 48103. $12.

we feel empty, helpless, in need. And every time you kneel down in front of the manger during Advent, ask him for faith – faith to believe that he is a God of love, faith to believe that he forgives your sins when you admit them and ask him for forgiveness, faith that he knows you and loves you and wants to shepherd your life, if you will allow him to do so.

• Then, on Christmas Eve, go to church and, before Mass, go to the manger and offer that small baby your whole life. To begin again,follow him or to follow him more closely. That infant is your Savior, your Lord, your Redeemer. God paid the ultimate price for your life. His life to save yours. Bow down and accept his gift; his gift that is beyond price.

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from the bishop

The greatest gift

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od has given us a gift – his Son! Like St. Paul, we want to hand on what we have received. (I Cor 15:3) How well are we doing with this great gift?

Christian Smith (Souls in Transition: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of Emerging Adults, Oxford Press, 2009) has studied a large group of young people from across the country from the time they were 13 until they were 23. He wanted to know how religion fits into their lives. His conclusion is a challenge: if parents and other adults “who care about youth wish to nurture emerging adult lives of purpose, meaning, and character – instead of confusion, drifting, and shallowness – they will need to do better jobs of seriously engaging youth from early on and not cut them adrift as they move through the teenage years.” (p. 299) He finds that religious commitment for most of the young 20s who have maintained such a commitment was initially formed at around the age of 14.

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Parents, of course, play the critical role in this handing on. The teen years are not the time to abandon this project – but rather to increase it. Smith notes that the stakes are high, not just for a life of faith, but also for a life of real quality, since a life of faith affects so many other aspects of one’s

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well-being, as he notes in his studies of those in their 20s.

This all comes to mind as we observe Advent and Christmas.

This is a season of receiving a great gift through the Son of God – our salvation. It is also a time of handing on gifts to others. Yet, this is where it gets a bit tricky. For this is not a thing that we pass on to the next generation, for it is not a thing we have received. Rather, it is about a relationship – our relationship with Jesus and with his bride, the Church. Ultimately, this is about our ability to give ourselves as a gift.

We cannot just hand on Jesus or his Church to someone else.

We cannot hand on salvation to someone else. No, we can only give ourselves – ourselves

as being in relationship with Jesus, ourselves as members of his body, the Church, ourselves as having tasted salvation.

A major question for all of us is how will this gift of ourselves be received by the next generation. Once out of the home, they are spending more time in school (colleges), not working (because there are no jobs), not making commitments (many still being cared for by parents), but incredibly busy about many things (educational and social).

The great challenge, of course, is to help this next generation get beyond itself, to help them see what the true goal of life is – true love. The example

which adults today provide by being sacrificial in the way they live their lives for others is nothing other than the same love with which Jesus loved us.

This brings us to the heart of this time of year. We need a renewed focus on Jesus as the gift of God to us, on Jesus who bore the cross to show us how to love, and on Jesus who has given us the Church as his body and bride. If we adults can deepen our love for this great gift of Jesus, then perhaps we will be providing the best formation for our teens who will eventually be the next generation’s adults.

A blessed Advent and Christmas to you all.

Bishop Earl Boyea is the fifth bishop of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing.

FAITH Magazine / December 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

yourstories Deacon Michael Dear sees opportunity in Flint

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lint has seen its share of challenges, but Deacon Michael Dear sees only opportunity. On July 1, 2011, Deacon Mike was appointed pastoral coordinator of St. Michael Parish in inner-city Flint.

“The biggest challenge is bringing the parish buildings into the 21st century,” says Deacon Mike. “It can be a little scary taking this on, but also exciting. I am surrounded by a great team and my wife Cindy is my guardian angel.”

With fire in his eyes and a passionate resolve, Deacon Mike is partnering with members of St. Michael to remind a wounded community that, through worship, prayer and community, there is hope and new life. According to Deacon Mike, “We are two years away from being 170 years old, but it’s like we are a young parish starting all over again. We want people to know we are fighting for this community. We invite everyone back to St. Michael’s.”

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inside

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By Cami Beecroft | Photography by Tom Gennara

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our story

How NFP helped Amanda and Jason have a family

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pening the door and stepping inside Amanda and Jason Venema’s home brings a rush of children. Analise, 5, is talkative and welcoming; Jonah, at 3, is shy but interested; and James is sleeping on his mom’s shoulder. He’s 11 months old. It’s the brood the couple imagined when they married in 2002, even took for granted they would be able to have. Yet the road to creating a family turned out to be more difficult and more rewarding than they could have ever imagined. After suffering infertility and two miscarriages on the way to bringing three bright-eyed children into the world, they are now helping other families who face similar challenges. Amanda has been trained as a Creighton Model FertilityCare Practitioner, a method of natural family planning she and Jason discovered while living in St. Louis, Mo. This method of NFP focuses on identifying and treating the underlying causes of reproductive and gynecological abnormalities. Amanda talks about their experience.

In high school, I was the girl who always had terrible cramps, the kind that had me laid up with heating pads and bottles of ibuprofen. When I complained of this to my doctors, the only solution they offered was to take the birth control pill, which was not something I was interested in. So I lived with the pain, thinking it was a normal part of my fertility.

When I got married, my husband and I knew we wanted to use natural family planning. We took a class and learned the SymptoThermal method through the Couple to Couple League. It worked

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FAITH Magazine / December 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

fine for us until we wanted to achieve a pregnancy. At the time, we were living in St. Louis, which is an area with a lot of Creighton practitioners and Catholic doctors who also were trained in the Creighton Model.

After a year of trying to get pregnant and still dealing with terrible cramps, I met with my obstetrician/gynecologist who suspected that I had endometriosis. He referred me to a Creighton trained OB/GYN, who wanted me to learn how to track my cycles using the Creighton Model. This method of chart-

ing provided my doctor with an in-depth understanding of my fertility and the areas that needed further analysis. My doctor recommended I have surgery for what turned out to be stage four endometriosis – the culprit for those terrible cramps. Soon after the surgery, we achieved our first pregnancy, which unfortunately ended in a devastating miscarriage.

We continued working with our Creighton doctor and discovered my charts indicated there were hormonal abnormalities as well. My doctor began bio-identical progesterone supplements. After a few months of tweaking the dosage, we achieved a pregnancy, our Analise. We could not have been more thrilled.

We moved back to Michigan to be closer to family and quickly realized there weren’t any Creighton practitioners or doctors in the Lansing area.

During this time, we achieved another pregnancy, but we lost that baby as well. I knew something was still awry with my hormones and I needed a doctor who understood the importance of progesterone in maintaining a pregnancy.

I called my doctor in St. Louis and told him about our miscarriage. He agreed to consult with me long distance.

I also found a local doctor who was willing to work with him, and later that year we conceived Jonah, who is now 3. Blessed be God! I continued to work with my Creighton doctor in St. Louis, and he and my OB/GYN in Lansing worked together to try to keep my most recent pregnancy going until I reached full term. I had pre-term labor signs, and everything pointed to the baby being born at 27 weeks. But by using Creighton protocols for the prevention of pre-term labor, we were able to keep him in utero until 34 weeks. We were blessed with our third child, James, in December 2010.

After we had our second miscarriage, I felt called to pay forward the “good news” of the Creighton Model. My husband and I prayed fervently and decided to approach the diocese to see if they would be interested in funding my training. They graciously For more information, visit www.hopefertilitycare.com, www.creightonmodel.com and www.naprotechnology.com.

To learn more about NFP in the Diocese of Lansing, go to the Department of Catholic Charities page at www.dioceseoflansing.org.

By Margaret Ann Cross | Photography by Tom Gennara

agreed and I haven’t looked back since.

The training to become a Creighton practitioner is very involved.

It is a 13-month program, with two intensive trainings through the Pope Paul VI Institute for the Study of Human Reproduction in Omaha, Neb. It includes exams, assignments and supervised practicums. Upon passing the final six-hour exam, you are officially a part of the allied health care profession.

In August 2009, I opened Hope FertilityCare Center of Mid-Michigan and have been inundated with client interest ever since. My center now has more than 75 active clients.

We were blessed to receive donations, through the help of St. Mary Parish in Williamston, to have a second practitioner trained. Maria Carlin of St. Robert Bellarmine Parish in Flushing will complete her internship in summer 2012. We both currently have schedules that book out a few months at a time. Having Maria in the center has allowed Creighton to continue to grow in the diocese. By God’s grace and the right people stepping forward, we hope to have more people trained as practitioners to reach the increasing demand of couple who want to learn this method. Ideally, we would even draw a NaPro doctor to our diocese.

It is humbling for us to work with these couples. We are dealing with the most intimate part of their lives, and we give that the respect it deserves. Our method encourages active communication; and we see marriages become stronger. I’ve had countless couples tell me that Creighton saved their marriage. That is a huge testimony.

The Creighton Model and NaProTechnology The science behind the Creighton Model is called NaProTechnology, which stands for Natural Procreative Technology. This science was developed by Dr. Thomas Hilgers of the Pope Paul VI Institute for the Study of Human Reproduction, in Omaha, Neb. The mantra of NaPro Trained doctors is to treat the underlying causes of reproductive and gynecological abnormalities. This approach is especially helpful for the couple struggling with infertility. There is no other science that provides the help Creighton does. We have almost an 80 percent success rate with helping couples who struggled with infertility to achieve a pregnancy naturally.

That is a three-fold increase over in-vitro fertilization, and there are no moral issues associated with Creighton.

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cover story

What is Cursillo?

It was the early 1960s when Msgr.

Sylvester Fedewa first got involved with the Cursillo movement in the Lansing area.

“When Cristo Rey was located in North Lansing, that’s when and where Cursillo got a foothold in this area,” he remembered.

Cursillo, which, in Spanish means “short course in Christianity,” started in 1957 in the United States. In Lansing, it started in 1961. Fifty years later, Msgr.

Fedewa celebrated its golden anniversary.

“Our diocese was among the early

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dioceses to establish a Cursillo Center,” Msgr. Fedewa said. “For a short time, the national office was in Lansing; in the summer of 1965, the sixth National Encounter took place in Lansing.”

Msgr. Fedewa noted that the first two Episcopal spiritual advisers, leaders of the national Cursillo movement, were from Lansing – Bishop Joseph Green and Bishop James Sullivan.

The Cursillo movement’s ascent in the Church paralleled Vatican II. This, according to Msgr. Fedewa, was a perfect time, since both the Cursillo movement

FAITH Magazine / December 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

and Vatican II involved lay people more fully in the life of the Church.

“Through both, lay people blossomed in the Church,” he said. “Cursillo’s purpose is to evangelize the evangelized.”

Msgr. Fedewa’s own experience with Cursillo helped open his eyes, as well. “I lived my first Cursillo weekend in 1964,” he said. “It was a very positive experience for me. By incorporating some of the teachings of Vatican II, the Cursillo gave me a much better understanding of the role of the priest in the Church, and the role of the laity, particularly in the

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early 40 years ago, Marti Poorman’s life changed when some new neighbors moved in next door.

“Tara had something in her life that I wanted,” Marti says. “It was a peace with everything.”

“He said the answer would come through my husband.” On the way out of church, her husband said he thought the family needed to convert to Catholicism. “We were very involved in our Episcopal church,” Marti says. “It was hard to talk to our pastor about moving on. He immediately asked if we wanted his blessing. It was just something that was meant to be.”

It didn’t take long for Marti to become more and more active in the Cursillo movement – attending national meetings, giving talks Not long afterward, Marti and her husband made a Marriage Enand leading weekends. counter weekend recommended by their new friends and neigh“Before Cursillo, I had a faith life. I went to church, and I believed, bors. After that, they attended Cursillo. And that’s what Marti said but Jesus wasn’t the center of my life,” she says. “After Cursillo, I had changed her life. “I didn’t know a soul when I attended Cursillo in a relationship with Jesus Christ – and that was the difference.”

Flint, but it didn’t matter.” She recalls, “I realized That relationship gave Marti the confidence to that what I had been hungering for was a personal know that tough times could be handled through relationship with Jesus Christ.”

God. “That relationship got me through cancer, a “Before Cursillo, Cursillo, which literally means “short course in divorce and tough times with the kids,” she says. “I I had a faith life. I Christianity,” is a ministry of the Roman Catholic knew that God would always take care of us and went to church, and Church. It was founded in Majorca, Spain, by a bring good from every situation.”

I believed, but Jesus group of laymen in 1944. “It was at a time, with In addition to her personal relationship with Jesus wasn’t the center of Vatican II [1962-1965], when there was a lot of Christ, Marti cites the weekly small group prayers renewal in the Church, and many priests were inand witness that Cursillo is known for as a guidmy life,” she says. volved. It revitalized the Church,” she says. ing force in her life. “The strength of the community “After Cursillo, I The weekend includes 15 talks, some given by transfers to the strength of its members,” she says. had a relationship priests and some by lay people. The major emphasis “One of the group activities is to describe when, that with Jesus Christ of the weekend is to ask participants to take what week, you felt closest to Christ. It’s a good question – and that was the they have learned back into the world on what they to ask on a regular basis.” difference.” call the “fourth day.” The method stresses personal A theology teacher for nearly 20 years, first at St. spiritual development, which is reinforced by weekThomas Aquinas, then at Lansing Catholic High ly group reunions and small group meetings after School, she says she felt like she was “coming home’ the Cursillo weekend. when she worked with high school students on the Kairos retreat. “It In Marti’s view, there was one problem: The family was practicing was great to see the students’ faith change,” she says, much the way Episcopalians. “I really wanted to become Catholic, because that is hers had. “My faith life had been intellectual, and after Cursillo my where I found this relationship with Jesus Christ,” she says. “But I faith went from my head to my heart.” prayed with closed fists. I wanted God to bless my plan, my ideas. I Although Marti says they don’t meet as a group any longer, she wanted him to change my husband’s mind. My husband thought we still feels close to several of the women in her original Cursillo small should stay in the Episcopal Church.” group. She knows her Cursillo experiences and friends stay with her Marti recalls going to church with her family and finally letting and guide her relationship with Jesus Christ today. “Even if I don’t see go. “I finally opened my hands and let God’s plan work,” she says. them,” she says, “they always will be part of me.”

work of pastoral ministry.”

In the early years, the Diocese of Lansing sponsored countless Cursillo weekends. “ In the Diocese of Lansing, 238 Cursillo weekends have taken place,” Msgr. Fedewa said.

Each weekend features 15 talks, 10 of which are by lay people and five by priests or deacons. The talks during the weekend focus on what it means to live as a child of God. Although its basic content has remained the same, the Cursillo weekend itself has changed a bit over the years. “When we first started, the weekend’s activities were

really kept under wraps,” explained Msgr.

Fedewa. “Now, it’s a lot more open. People need to know what’s going to happen.

“The Cursillo movement is based on a tripod of activities: piety, study and action.

The piety component is the major part of the Cursillo weekend, when we realize who we are and what we’re called to be through baptism,” Msgr. Fedewa explained. Study takes place during and after the weekend with friendship groups and Ultreya groups.

The action component of Cursillo is how we go out and share our faith. “We make a friend, be a friend and bring a friend to

Christ,” Msgr. Fedewa said.

Msgr. Fedewa spent several years in parish and diocesan ministry, which led him away from direct involvement with the Cursillo movement. He currently serves, in his retirement, as spiritual adviser for the movement in the diocese.

He has continued to meet with his friendship group and groups in the area.

It is customary to only complete one Cursillo weekend in a lifetime, Msgr. Fedewa said. “A lot of people remember the weekend well, in fact, Cursillo has played a role in changing many people’s lives.”

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special report

The meaning of marriage

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great debate is currently raging in the United States over the meaning of marriage. Contraception, divorce and cohabitation have all presented formidable challenges to the institution of marriage, already under heavy attack by economic and social forces. Now, the relatively new issue of same-sex unions has emerged. In the face of all this, what does the Church have to teach us about the true nature of marriage?

Both a natural institution…

The Catechism of the Catholic Church (No. 1601) states that the marriage covenant, “by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the

whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring.”

As such, it is a natural blessing arising from the natural order of creation for all

Resources for strengthening marriage Those interested in learning more about the Church’s teaching on marriage or in resources for strengthening their own marriage should visit the USCCB website at www.usccb.org. There one can find Vatican/Papal Statements, U.S. bishops’ Statements, Catholic Marriage and Family Life associations and movements and other resources.

In addition, there is a special website set up by the USCCB specifically for married couples called “For Your Marriage” at www.foryourmarriage.org.

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humanity in all times and cultures.

It is true that the institution of marriage has gone through many variations in different cultures, social structures, and spiritual attitudes throughout the centuries. However, while a natural institution, marriage is not purely a human institution. “The intimate community of life and love which constitutes the married state has been established by the Creator and endowed by him with its own proper laws…God himself is the author of marriage.” (1603) In the 2009 Pastoral Letter, “Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan,” the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) reiterate that this natural institution is a gift. The “gift of marriage is something we receive, not something we construct or change to fit our purposes. It is a firm foundation, a truthful guide, a trustworthy light for the way.”

Because marriage is from God, the U.S. bishops teach that it is endowed with cer-

The “gift of marriage is something we receive, not something we construct or change to fit our purposes. It is a firm foundation, a truthful guide, a trustworthy light for the way.”

tain essential attributes, without which it cannot exist as God intends. Among these attributes are exclusivity in the relationship between one man and one woman until death that cannot be dissolved by the simple will of the spouses; marriage as the foundation for the family; conjugal love, the love proper to marriage, as present in the commitment to the complete and total gift of self between husband and wife; the clinging together of husband and wife as one flesh in complementarity; and the formation of a unique communion of persons.

And a sacrament The bishops further assert that marriage is not only crucial to society on a natural level because it forms its foundation, but that it is also crucial to the Church on the supernatural level. “Through baptism, men and women are transformed, by the power of the Holy Spirit, into a new creation in Christ. This new life in the Holy Spirit heals men and women from sin and elevates them to share in God‘s very own divine life. It is within this new Christian context that Jesus has raised marriage between the baptized to the dignity of a sacrament. He heals marriage and restores it to its original purity of permanent selfgiving in one flesh.” (Mt 19:6) By revealing his own love as the perfection of all love, Jesus reveals the deepest meaning of all marital love: self-giving love modeled on God‘s inner life and love. Thus, the meaning of marriage, specifically and universally, is only fully accessible when we are open to accepting the transcendent meaning of marriage according to God’s plan.

THE KEY: Unitive and Procreative The key to understanding the Church’s view of marriage can be found in the two fundamental ends or purposes toward which it is oriented: the good of the spouses and the procreation of children. This means marriage is inseparably unitive and procreative.

It is unitive because the human body, by its very nature, is directed to relationship as it is only in relationship that we achieve a true wholeness as a communion of persons. God established marriage precisely so that man and woman could participate in his love and thus selflessly give themselves to each other in love.

It is procreative because the nature of love is that of overflowing, of being life-giving. Marriage, then, is meant for not only growing in spousal love, but for transmitting life. In fact, children are the crowning glory of a marriage. Both these meanings are inseparable.

On redefining marriage It should come as no surprise that the USCCB sees the proposition that persons of the same sex can marry as one of the most troubling developments in contemporary culture. “This proposal attempts to redefine the nature of marriage and the family and, as a result, harms both the intrinsic dignity of every human person and the common good of society.”

Because same-sex unions are incapable of achieving either the unitive (lack of complementarity) or procreative (closed to life) ends of marriage, making them equivalent to marriage disregards the very nature of marriage. By attempting to redefine marriage to include or be made analogous with homosexual partnerships, the U.S. bishops maintain “society is stating that the permanent union of husband and wife, the unique pattern of spousal and familial love, and the

generation of new life are now only of relative importance rather than being fundamental to the existence and wellbeing of society as a whole.”

Nor is it a violation of justice to deny the validity of same-sex unions.

In 2003, the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith in Considerations Regarding Proposals to Give Legal Recognition to Unions Between Homosexual Persons stated “Today, advocacy for the legal recognition of various same-sex relationships is often equated with non-discrimination, fairness, equality and civil rights. However, it is not unjust to oppose legal recognition of same-sex unions, because marriage and same-sex unions are essentially different realities. The denial of the social and legal status of marriage to forms of cohabitation that are not and cannot be marital is not opposed to justice; on the contrary, justice requires it.”

All this is to say that since marriage comes from God, not from the state or the Church (though both institutions regulate its practice), neither the Church nor the state can alter the meaning and structure of marriage in such a way as to grant equivalent status to same-sex unions.

Food for thought – One of Aristotle’s laws of logic is the Law of Identity; that A is A. This law states that everything that exists has a specific nature or identity. For example, a dog cannot be a cat. When this law is denied, only chaos and confusion result, making communication all but impossible. What might this law have to say about attempts to redefine marriage?

By Douglas Culp

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yourcommun things to do

December café events

things to do

St. John Vianney, Flint will have an Advent Prayer Series: Nov. 30 and Dec. 7 at 6 p.m., at Assumption Greek Orthodox Church in Grand Blanc, followed by a potluck – please no meat dishes; and Dec. 6 at 7 p.m., Rabbi Karen Companez from Temple Beth El will give an overview of the Jewish faith. All are invited to attend all or any of the events. For information, call the parish office at 810.235.1812.

Dec. 2, 7:30 p.m., St. John Church and Student Center, East Lansing will have a Campus Ministry Advent Concert – “Prepare the Way of the Lord” – featuring the St. John Collegiate Ensemble.

St. Paul, Owosso’s Altar Society Christmas Cookie Bake Sale at Father Kolenski Hall, Dec. 3, noon-7 p.m. and Dec. 4, after the 8 a.m., 10 a.m. and noon Masses.

Homemade cookies, bars and candies with decorative plates and tins already made to give as gifts. All money from sale will help subsidize altar supplies Dec. 3, 6 p.m., St. Agnes, Fowlerville will have an Advent Community Night and Dec. 16 at 6:30 p.m., a Family Fun night, both at the Parish Life Center.

Dec. 3, St. Matthew, Flint’s youth group will host a birthday party for St. Nicholas with music, games and cake for children ages three to eight. For information, contact Dr. Connie McClanahan at 810.323.0880.

Dec. 6, 7 p.m., Immaculate Heart of Mary, Lansing preschool-grade 6 religious education program will have a Family Advent Celebration followed by a music program presented by the children and concluding with a social in the parish center.

Dec. 7, 6 p.m.-7:30 p.m., St. Pius X, Flint will host a Night in Bethlehem – walk among the townspeople and visit the stable where Jesus was born – enjoy family, faith, food and fun. For information, contact Cindee McColley, 810.235.8574.

Focus at the Crazy Wisdom Community Room, 114 S. Main, Ann Arbor. Shift your focus and experience the peace and joy that come from praying with body, mind and spirit. Cost is $45. Contact Janene Ternes of Prayer in Motion, LLC at 734.429.7754 to register or for further information, visit www. prayer-in-motion.com.

Dec. 3, 10:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m., Advent Praying with Body, Mind and Spirit: Finding Our

Catechist Formation: Jan. 21, 8 a.m.-12:45 p.m., at Immaculate Heart of Mary, Lansing – topics are: 1. Ministry of a Catechist; 2. Learning Process and Faith Development; 9. Jesus Christ; 10. Mary and the Saints; 17. Key People of the Old Testament; and 18. New Testament Gospels. If you have questions, call JoAnn Angers at 517.393.3033.

Retreat centers

we waiting for? Dec. 7, Stirrings and Visitation: Advent with Mary and Elizabeth.

St. Francis Retreat Center, DeWitt, 866.669.8321 or www.stfrancis.ws Dec. 2-4, Married Couples Retreat.

Dominican Center Marywood, Grand Rapids, 616.643.0371 or register online at www.dominicancenter.com Mar. 22, Journey into Silence four-day retreat at the Augustine Center in Conway near Petoskey. The center is located within walking distance of Crooked Lake.

Weber Center, Adrian, 517.266.400 or www.weber.adriandominicans Nov. 27-Dec. 1, Advent Retreat – What are Dec. 8, 5:30 p.m., St. Mary Catholic Church in Flint will have its feast day celebration of the Immaculate Conception, beginning with Mass and followed by a potluck dinner in the parish center.

Everyone is invited to celebrate this feast day with us.

Dec. 9, 7:30 p.m., St. Thomas Aquinas, East Lansing will have a Parish Advent Concert – “A Festival of Lessons and Carols.”

Dec. 9-10, 7:30 p.m., Mount Zion Catholic Community, 8228 N. McKinley Rd, Flushing, will present the Story of Salvation. For information, call 810.639.7175.

Dec. 10, 5:30 p.m., Lansing Catholic Singles invite mid-life

singles ages mid-30s-60s, to celebrate the season with a Christmas potluck. Please bring a dish to pass and a non-perishable food item to donate to a local food pantry. Event will take place at Village Green Apartment Clubhouse in Lansing. Space is limited. RSVP

by Dec. 8 to 517.321.7886 or email LansingCatholicSingles@ live.com.

Dec, 10, 5:30 p.m., 28th annual Father Gabriel Richard High School dinner auction will be held at the school, 4333 Whitehall Dr., Ann Arbor. Theme is “Home for the Holidays” and will feature a strolling dinner, open bar and both a live and silent auction. All proceeds will support the school’s education fund. Sug-

gested donation is $75. For more information or to register, call 734.662.0496 ext. 207.

Dec. 11, 6:30 p.m.-7:30 p.m., St. James Catholic Church, Masson will have a candle lighting Remembrance Service to honor our deceased children, grandchildren and siblings. Please bring a memorial candle with you.

All are welcome.

Dec. 12, 6:30 p.m.-8:30 p.m., Daughters of God Faith Series at St. Mary, Westphalia. A potluck Advent dinner. Topic is the “Greatest Gift of All ...,” using Advent as a time to appreciate and prepare. Women of all ages are invited to take part in this series. Classes will be held the

Volunteer openings are available at Mother Teresa House to provide companionship, presence and personal care to the terminally ill guests.

Weekend openings are available for experienced care-givers and married couples may want to consider joining the weekend Couples Team. The average commitment is 12 hours per month for one year. For information, contact 517.484.5494 or serving@motherteresahouse.org.

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FAITH Magazine / December 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

nity

local news

second Monday of each month.

Attendance at all sessions is not required.

Dec. 13, 7 p.m., St. Thomas Aquinas, East Lansing will have an Advent Evening of Reflection. The presenter is Father Doug Osborn. Questions?

Please contact the parish office, 517.351.7271.

Dec. 15, 10 a.m.-noon, Moms and Preschoolers Advent Activity Morning at St. Thomas Aquinas, East Lansing’s Father Mac Hall. Hands-on activities for moms and their preschoolers and home-schoolers. Registration required. Contact is Annie Kitching, 517.763.4954.

Dec. 18, 3 p.m.-4:30 p.m., St. Thomas the Apostle, Ann Arbor, 530 Elizabeth St. will have a Christmas Choir Concert. For information, call the parish office at 734.761.8606.

Mar. 9-11, T. Francis Retreat Center, DeWitt, REFLECT Catholic Retreat for Mid-Life Singles – Looking to grow in faith, meet new friends, and feel like you belong somewhere? Single men and women, ages mid-30s to mid-50s, register today for a lifechanging weekend. Cost covers meals, lodging and materials. For information, call 989.450.0993 or www.reflectretreat.com.

FAITH will strengthen your faith

St. Robert Catholic School pastor honored for support of faith-based schools

F

ather Roy Horning, pastor of St. Robert Catholic School in Flushing, was named one of four recipients of the 2011 Father John B. Zwers Award by the Michigan Association of Non-Public Schools (MANS) Board of Trustees.

Father Horning was nominated for the award by Susan Sharp, principal of St. Robert Catholic School in the Lansing Diocese. According to Sharp, Father Roy “is a strong and decisive leader … he has preached that the future of the Church rests with children.” Father Horning advances the notion that, “the purpose of Catholic education is to graduate saints through a program of faith formation, academic formation and human formation.”

Catholic Charities Catholic Charities of Jackson, Lenawee and Hillsdale Counties, 1522 Joy Ave., Jackson or www.catholiccharitiesjacksonlenaweehillsdale.org Dec. 2-3, We C.A.R.E. – the marriage preparation program of the Diocese of Lansing. Cost $75. Pre-registration with payment is required. Class size is limited. To register, call 517.782.2551.

Livingston County Catholic Charities, E. Grand River, Suite 104, Howell, 517.545.5944 or www.livingstoncatholiccharities.org.

Dec. 13, 6:30 p.m.-8 p.m., Alzheimer’s Support Group, 7700 Nemco Way, Brighton, meets on the second Tuesday of each month at Independence Village and is for people providing care for a family member with any form of dementia. Cost is free.

Patrick O’Brien, president of FAITH magazine, welcomed writers and staff to a retreat day at St. Francis Retreat Center in DeWitt.

Founder of the publication Father Charles Irvin talked about writing as a calling, saying “It is a sign of faith.”

The magazine reaches Lansing Diocese parishioners who read about everyday situations when faith is challenged. Faith’s 27 employees work with 20 writers to provide the quality issues 10 times a year.

Father Larry Delaney was the presenter and his talk included several different types of doors that people encounter trying to find their faith.

“We hear what we listen for at the door to the heart,” he said.

The retreat day ended with Bishop Earl Boyea celebrating Mass.

Catholic Social Services of Washtenaw County, 4925 Packard Rd., Ann Arbor, 734.971.9781 or www.csswashtenaw.org Dec. 9-10, We C.A.R.E. marriage preparation program will be held at CSSWC’s office in Ann Arbor. For information or to register, call 734.971.9781, ext. 421 or its website.

St. Vincent Catholic Charities, 2800 W. Willow St., Lansing, 517.323.4734 or www.stvcc.org You are invited to take a Journey of Hope at St. Vincent Catholic Charities and learn about the life-transforming services being provided in your community. A Journey of Hope is not a fundraiser.

It is an interactive and inspiring way to learn about our services, how they are helping those most in need while positively impacting our community as a whole. To schedule a Journey of Hope, call Rhonda Abood, St. Vincent Catholic Charities outreach and events coordinator, at 517.323.4734, ext. 1205.

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local news Patriarch of Jerusalem visits St. Mary Parish, Chelsea His Beatitude Fouad Twal, Latin Patriarch of Jerusalem, greeted parishioners and guests at St. Mary in Chelsea, Hamdu Lil Lah. He said it meant thanks to God. Dignitaries filled the gathering space at St. Mary prior to Mass and processed before the patriarch as he entered the church.

Honoring him were the 4th Degree and other Knights of Columbus; knights and ladies of the Holy Sepulchre of the North Central Lieutenancy; Reverend Emil Salayta, judicial vicar, Latin patriarchate

and Sir Rateb Rabie, president of the Holy Land Christian Ecumenical Foundation, Washington, D.C. Archbishop Twal spoke about peace during his homily. He said, “I am grateful to be gathering in the best gathering – the Mass. We should pray for each other, for your peace, for our peace.”

He talked of preaching to the priests in the Holy Land, about their world-wide mission of the presence of Jesus and about Jews, Muslims and millions of tourists who come to the Holy Land.

The Robert Khzouz’s family from Madaba, Jordan, carried the offertory gifts to the altar. They attend St. Edith in Livonia and have a business in Chelsea.

After Mass the patriarch told everyone “you are all welcome to come to

Sister Sharon Hektor’s golden jubilee

Mr. Rogers program receives a rainmaker grant from HealthPlus of Michigan

On Sept. 23, 1961, Sharon Hektor was clothed as a postulant of the Sisters of St. Joseph at Nazareth, Mich. She took her final vows in August 1967. In 1971, she came to Holy Family, Grand Blanc to serve as school secretary. It was during this time she realized she wanted to do more to help children who were struggling or in trouble. She worked during the day and attended college in the evening. She received her teaching degree in 1997 and became a fulltime teacher at Holy Family School.

After 40 years at Holy Family and 50 years as a Sister of St. Joseph, Sister Sharon has touched countless lives and hearts. She exemplifies the Sisters of St. Joseph – radiating true gentleness, peace, joy and great love of God and neighbor. Congratulations, Sister Sharon, on your golden jubilee.

A check for $3,400 was presented to Catholic Charities’ Mr. Rogers program in Genesee County by Louis Hawkins, community relations administrator of HealthPlus of Michigan.

The Mr. Rogers program is available to at-risk youth from across Genesee County, providing mentoring, character building and employment opportunities. It is located at Ebenezer Ministries on Center Road in Burton.

For information about the program, contact Mary Stevenson, Catholic Charities of Shiawassee and Genesee Counties, 810.323.9950 ext. 228.

St. Mary Catholic School takes a proactive approach against bullying St. Mary Catholic School in Pinckney has taken a proactive approach to mean, aggressive and bullying behavior. To complete the cycle of the three-part program designed by Dr. Marcia McEvoy, the entire staff has completed 6.5 hours of training.

Teachers and staff were introduced to, and practiced, the “15 second intervention” and developed a Behavior and Consequences Rubric for the entire school to follow. Previously, Dr. McEvoy presented a parent workshop and a student workshop for the school.

Principal Veronica Kinsey said, “We were able to work cooperatively as a staff to put these rubrics in place and make our school a safe learning environment for all.”

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Jerusalem.”

Patriarch Twal is the archbishop for Jordan, Palestine, Israel and Cyprus. He meets with the priests from these countries at least once a year.

Father Turner, pastor of St. Mary, says the parish supported the students from Palestine who came to St. Mary this summer. The students didn’t want people to forget the cause for peace.

FAITH Magazine / December 2011 / www.FAITHmag.com

Father Kurian authors first book Leonine Publishers released In His Outstretched Arms, written by Father Kurian Kollapallil of St. John the Evangelist in Fenton. The book is a collection of weekly articles written by him while he was at St. Joseph Parish in Howell and consists of seven sections, including a combination of stories from both Scripture and Father Kollapallil’s life.

Gabrielle Downs, who assisted in publishing the book, was first intrigued by Father Kurian’s writing when she read his articles about Africa, where Father Kollapallil was a missionary and directed an orphanage.

Knights of Columbus awards scholarship in memory of Robbie Stevens The Mason Council # 9182 of the Knights of Columbus wishes to congratulate the recipients of Knights of Columbus scholarships that were given in memory of Robbie Stevens, who died in an accident in May 2010.

The council awarded three scholarships to 2011 high school graduates who are members of St. James Catholic Church, Mason. Casandra Williams received a scholarship award of $1,000; Natasha Schunk and Rebecca Swab each received book scholarship awards of $400

The birth of a child

T

he birth of a child brings with it Love’s insistent call. That child’s mother will never ever again not be a mother; that child’s father will never ever again not be a father.

That newborn child comes to us from Love and summons us to make our life’s journey to Love.

The birth of Jesus is God’s gift of love incarnate, given to us in our humanity, in our flesh and to our souls. It is to Love we are called and to make our way through life. The consequences are eternal, not incidental.

When we take the hand of a newborn child, we cannot help but become aware of a special feeling within us, a feeling that will mature into an awareness that God’s power has done something truly wonder-full, while at the same time placing on our hearts an awesome responsibility – the ability to respond to his stupendous creating love.

It’s hard for us to realize that we are co-

creators with God. Think about that and ponder over it. Almighty God, the God who created the universe, bringing light out of darkness and life out of inert matter, has shared his awesome and creating power with us! Not only that, but he has given us his spirit, his spirit of love, that we might have what we need to share his love with that newborn baby and bring that child through its maturation to the point where he or

last word she will share in that same awesome love and power of God. The mind buckles, but faith equips and enables us.

Before the mountains were raised, the seas were filled, the stars were flung into the void and the planets were placed in their orbits, God had you in his mind, had you, in his heart. We humans share much in common, but each one of us is special and unique. If God is not loved by you he will never be loved by anyone else just like you! You are the only one who can love him as you.

Christmas is all about Love coming to us as one of us. God’s gift to us is love incarnate. It is to Love that we are called and make our journey.

Have a blessed Christmas!

Father Charles Irvin is the founding editor of FAITH Magazine and is retired.

Respect Life Sunday Hundreds of people, representing 60 churches, showed their support for Respect Life Sunday by forming a cross as they stood on the sidewalks of West Michigan Avenue and West Street in Jackson.

The Life Chain people held signs such as: “Jesus Forgives and Heals”; “Adoption the Loving Option”; “Pray to End Abortion”; and “All Are Precious in His Sight.”

Attending the event was Christen Houck, state president of Students for Life, and Sharon, her mother, a board member for the Jackson Students for Life. Sharon said she had been encouraged to abort Christen when a single mom. Christen and Sharon credit each other for being involved in the pro-life movement. – Jan Hoffbauer

St. Robert School dedicates “Lynn’s Corner” Lynn Russell loved books and St. Robert School. She volunteered at St. Robert for four years while in remission from brain cancer. She tutored after school and volunteered in the school library. She passed away in the spring of 2011. All of the money collected at Lynn’s funeral was donated to the St. Robert School library by her husband, David, and daughter, Samantha.

In September, Father Louis blessed and dedicated “Lynn’s Corner,” a special part of the St. Robert Library, to Lynn’s memory. St. Robert students and Lynn’s family and friends attended the ceremony.

Sister Mary Jones, OP, makes her perpetual vows The Dominican Sisters of the Congregation of the Most Holy Rosary, Adrian, celebrated the profession of perpetual (final) vows of Sister Mary Jones, OP, during a special 1:30 p.m. Liturgy on Sept.

8, at St. Mary’s Dominican High School in New Orleans. La. Sister Mary is beginning her second year of service in campus ministry at this all-girls school, sponsored by the Dominican Sisters of Peace.

For more local news and parish events, visit www.FAITHmag.com

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notes:

Applications will be available at www.glcef.org or by calling 517.485.8333 by Jan. 30, 2012 • Application Deadline is March 19, 2012 • Eligible grades are 6th-10th at any Diocese of Lansing Catholic school

Follow FAITH Magazine online: p l e a s e

r e c y c l e

• $750 scholarships for students in grades 6, 7 and 8 • $1,000 scholarships for students in 9th and 10th grades

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