December 2017

g oo d li fe :

How can I invite someone back to church at Christmas?

GROW as a disciple of Jesus f rom the bish op:

How can we become missionary disciples?

plus:

GO EVANGELIZE Cheryl accompanies others as they grow in faith 1

FAITH HELPS

FROM THE EDITOR

ONE BIG, HAPPY FAMILY A

DISCIPLESHIP

For personal reflection or small group discussion

NUMBER OF YEARS AGO, I had a young parent stop by my office and ask, “How do you feel about kids in church?” I’m never quite sure how to answer a question posed

in that way, but I did know that the parent in question had two young children, and so I presumed that she was asking me how I felt in general about the presence of young children

Grow+Go – Sheri Wohlfert 1.

Recall a time you felt

in church during Mass. I assured her that I treasure the presence of young children as part of

peaceful, or peace-filled. How can you regain a sense of peace as you prepare for the holidays?

the worshiping assembly and then asked why she felt the need to ask such a question. The floodgates opened. The young mom shared with me that people in the assembly had said some very uncharitable words to her about her children’s behavior, and one went so far as to tell her that she should just consider keeping her kids at home if they were going to act up in church. The young mother was so frustrated by the actions of her fellow parishioners that she was contemplating leaving the parish. I apologized to her for the poor behavior of her brothers and sisters in Christ and assured her that she and her children would always be welcome at Mass. Her family’s departure from the parish would be the last thing I would want.

T.Gennera

If you are a parent with young children and you are wondering if you should make the effort to come to Mass regularly, let me begin by saying unequivocally, “Yes, please take the time and make the consistent effort.”

The presence of you and your children at Mass is a sign of hope, and the energy that your kids bring to worship puts a smile on many faces, FATHER including my own.

DWIGHT EZOP Here is the advice that I usually offer young parents when it comes to is the editor of bringing kids to church. First, be consistent – bring your children to Mass FAITH Magazine every week. The only reasonable way to expect them to learn how to and pastor of behave at Mass is to regularly take part in the Mass with your guidance St. Mary Parish, and assistance. There are a variety of books designed to help young Charlotte and children learn the actions and words of the Mass. Perhaps your parish St. Ann Church, makes such books available. Next, come up to the front. Young children Bellevue want to see what is happening during Mass and it is best if they can have a Email: editor@ clear view of the many actions that take place as we worship.

FAITHpub.com.

As you come up front, you may want to sit near the musicians, if that is possible. Kids are fascinated by the actions of the piano, organ, other instrumentalists, cantor and choir at Mass. If your child is musically inclined, perhaps being near the musicians will eventually give them the courage to share their musical gifts with God. Third, you may wish to separate the troublemakers. If your children have trouble sitting next to one another in the car on the way to church, perhaps putting mom or dad between them might keep unruly factions at bay during Mass. This worked wonders when my brother and I were kids. Finally, your patient guidance and whispered explanations of what is happening during Mass will, in time, help your children to fall in love with the Mass.

One of the most touching things I recently saw was a dad kneeling down with his two young sons on either side, patiently helping them to sing the final song at Mass by pointing out the words in the hymnal and singing along with his boys. What a wonderful sight and what a picture of faith, hope and love!

As Christmas draws near, and as the new year unfolds, our parish communities will be welcoming folks of all ages who may not attend Mass regularly or who may have been invited by a family member or friend to explore coming to church. The care, guidance, sensitivity and loving acceptance that we offer for young children present in our assemblies will also go a long way in helping folks of any age to feel welcome and accepted into the family we call Church.

Each of us, no matter our age, can take part as we join together at Mass for Christmas and all year ‘round, giving joyful praise and thanks to God. And so, our journey in FAITH continues.

Grow+Go – Cheryl Olsen

1.

Is there someone in your life you could invite back to church this Christmas?

2.

Whose example has inspired you to grow in your commitment to your faith?

Theology 101

1.

Are there ways you can turn disagreements about religion among friends into a discussion highlighting your shared beliefs?

Marriage Matters

1.

How can you be a source of healing among family members this Christmas?

Parenting Journey

1.

How can you help your child find the positive in challenging situations?

Cover Story – Walking the streets of Flint

1.

Do you know any neighbors who may need your encouragement, hope and prayers?

FIND MORE ONLINE GO TO FAITHPUB.COM TO FIND ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS AND RESOURCES

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INSIDE DECEMBER

P 18

YOUR FAITH

6 grow

GROW as a disciple of Jesus – Be aware of Jesus at work in your life

7 go GO evangelize – Cheryl accompanies others as they grow in faith

YOUR LIFE

14 marriage matters He says: ‘Separate Christmases for our quarreling daughters?’ She says: ‘I am hosting one Christmas – they need to figure this out.’ What do they do?

YOUR STORIES

17 feature story Nun Run helps Mandy discern her vocation P7

24 my story ‘I knew I wanted something different from life’ How God completelly changed Michael

8 grow+go Your personal evangelization plan

10 in the know with Father Joe How do I talk to my kids about sin when they disagree with a lot of the Church’s teaching?

12 theology 101 What do you say when … Your sister wants to argue about religion at family dinners?

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PLUS

15 parenting journey

My kids don’t want to go to their father’s house for Christmas

work life How can I negotiate more time off for the holidays?

16 goodlife How can I invite someone back to church at Christmas?

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30 popewatch

What Pope Francis has been saying and doing recently

31 last word

Father’s love letter – An intimate message from God

FOLLOW FAITH PUB SHARE YOUR FAITH WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FOLLOWERS

FROM THE BISHOP

BISHOP EARL BOYEA

is the fifth bishop of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing @BishopBoyea

Carlson Productions

HOW CAN WE BECOME MISSIONARY DISCIPLES?

PERHAPS YOU HAVE HEARD THE TERMS “intentional disciple” and “missionary disciple.”

What exactly do these mean? The first is probably the easier one both to grasp and to put into practice. Think about it in these terms: I presume dads want to be intentional dads; moms, intentional moms; students, intentional students; etc. If we are engaged in something, we want to make sure we are consciously engaged in it.

Now this does not mean that we are thinking about our role 24/7; after all, we do have to sleep! But it does mean that because we value being who we are so much, we want to make sure that we are as fully engaged in our lives as we can be. We don’t want to daydream our way through life.

Well, the same is true about being a follower of Jesus Christ. Most of us ended our formal education in the faith with confirmation or the end of Catholic high school. That formation was meant to set us on a path of being more intentional about being a Christian and a member of the Body of Christ, the Church. If we continue to say we are Catholic, do we give some time and effort into being engaged in what that means? Do we pray so as to be closer to Jesus? Do we seek ways to worship with other Catholics so as to give God his due? Do we seek to serve our neighbors in charity and in justice so as to demonstrate our love of God? In these, and many other ways, such as regularly participating in confession and the Eucharist, are the signs of our being intentional about our following Jesus, and thus, being his disciples. As I said, this is the easier of the two terms to understand.

How, then, do I become a missionary disciple? Frankly, if we are really intentional about following Jesus, we will automatically become missionary. It really is not all that mysterious.

Jesus told his disciples at the very end of Matthew’s Gospel: “Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.”

The first task is to be intentional about making other disciples. When the priest at the end of Mass says, “Go and announce the Gospel of the Lord,” and we respond, “Thanks be to God,” we are taking on this first task. Our announcing and inviting others to discipleship may be subtle or not, be mostly works of charity or justice, or through other methods. But in whatever way we carry out this mission, it is intentional. We want to do this, and it is our ultimate goal.

Secondly, Jesus tells us to baptize. Now, of course, we don’t actually do this – but we do bring people to baptism. That is, we invite them to share what we value and treasure – our life with Jesus Christ and his community of faith. Many of our parishes are conducting Alpha programs and we all have RCIA programs – invite someone to join you in participating, with no commitment being required.

Thirdly, Jesus wants us to teach all that he has commanded. And we all know that the best teacher is someone who practices what he or she teaches – that is, being a real witness. We must live out our love of our neighbor, especially by being a neighbor to those most in need.

So, you see, being a missionary disciple is just being a good disciple, and being intentional about it will, in fact, make our discipleship itself deeper and richer.

A Blessed Advent and Christmas to you all.

If we continue to say wei are Catholic, do we giveisome time and effort intoibeing engaged in whati that means?”i

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YOUR FAITH

GROW

GROW

as a disciple of Jesus “Behold, I am sending my messenger ahead of you; he will prepare your way.”

(Mk. 1:2)

I

F YOU DO MUCH DRIVING, chances are you’ve come across a vehicle displaying a brightly colored Wide Load sign. That

sign clearly alerts drivers to an expectation and the preparation that comes with it. It reminds us to be alert, cautious and expect to adjust to something that is a different size. In essence, that sign is the messenger. When it comes to living out our discipleship, the message

Pray every day: Just 20 minutes of prayer each day of Advent equals nearly an entire eight-hour work day. If you’re thinking you don’t have time to be still and prepare, or that Advent would be much better in March when you weren’t so busy, then ask yourself this question. What leads you closer to Christ; the perfect gift and cookie plate or a heart filled with the peace of Christ?

and the path might not be quite so noticeable – but the season of Advent helps make things clear.

SHERI WOHLFERT

is a Catholic School teacher, speaker, writer and founder of Joyful Words Ministries.

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The Advent message is all about patient waiting and preparation. It’s hard to listen, watch, wait and prepare when we drive ourselves silly with shopping, decorating, celebrating and chaos! When we’re caught in all the hoopla, we miss the true message of it all, which is peace. Peace is the fruit of stillness, prayer and patient waiting. When we get the message and feel his peace, we are aware of Christ at work in our life.

God promised peace but we have to want it, seek it and work for it. We can’t get it on Black Friday, Cyber Monday or by waiting in line with a 40 percent off coupon. Peace is the gift of God’s presence in our

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Study the faith: Read each of the Advent Sunday Gospels; then read the Christmas Gospel so you know what you are preparing and waiting for.

Engage in parish life: Make a commitment to attend at least one Advent activity at your parish. Reach out to a friend and invite him or her along so they, too, can take some time to prepare.

Serve others’ needs: Be the compassionate hands and feet of Christ this Advent. Give the precious gift of time by sending a card or stopping in to share a cup of tea and some prayer time with someone who might be lonely, lost or hurting.

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Be aware of Jesus at work in your life

day. If we offer God our day and speak with him often throughout it, as if consulting a personal adviser, he will provide those moments of great exhale as things fall into place. Prayerful stillness won’t make things go haywire. God can handle the details; the shopping, the cleaning, the schedules. He’s bigger than our todo list, he’s a master entertainer and he is rich beyond measure. His message is, trust me and let me bring you peace.

GO

YOUR FAITH GO

evangelize

Cheryl ACCOMPANIES others as they grow in faith

N

OW AN INTENTIONAL DISCIPLE OF CHRIST, an employee of the Diocese of Lansing and an involved parishioner, Cheryl Olsen sees that

the Lord has gently and patiently called her closer to himself throughout her life. Early on, the clear and contagious witness of Cheryl’s grandfather was a model of evangelization. “My grandfather converted to Catholicism when I was 13, and when I saw what he was doing and experiencing, I begged my mom to put me through classes so I could become Catholic too.

I was baptized when I was 14,” she says.

In her journey of faith since that time, Cheryl has been struck by the witness

of others, and felt called to witness herself.

She continues, “When I was a teenager, I saw my [now] husband taking his mom to church, which struck me as powerful. Alan and I were married and were blessed with our children Alanna, Eric and Adam. We enrolled the kids in Catholic schools.” Faith and the Church played a role in her personal life and family life, but the Lord had more in mind for Cheryl.

“About four years ago, I started to feel a tug. It is clear to me now that the tug was one of many fruits of Bishop Boyea’s pastoral letter Go and Announce the Gospel of the Lord,” she says. In that letter, Bishop Boyea challenged men and women of the Diocese of Lansing to re-engage the fallen away and to evangelize to those who don’t know Jesus.

• PRAY for “I started to pray for something more. I asked God to those who open doors that should be open to me, and clearly close are separated the others. I soon was blessed with a job in the diocesan from God offices as an administrative assistant.

• WITNESS I started praying the Prayer for the New about Jesus Evangelization every day, and sometimes several times • INVITE them a day. The Lord spoke through the passage from St. to church Paul (Rom 10:13-15) at the beginning of the prayer. Soon, I • ACCOMPANY started going to daily Mass. The Holy Spirit was at work them as they in me in new and powerful ways. grow “A short time later, I was invited to be a part of the Alpha program, first as a host and then co-director. I am not a professed evangelization expert, but I have had good models. I try to have a listening heart – to welcome the Holy Spirit – who then helps guide the person in front of me, and to invite others into prayer.

“For seekers, Alpha is often that great welcome. It is absolutely community based – we see each other at Mass and stay connected. My very first group still meets once a month for dinner. Alpha is, as evangelization should be, nonthreatening. It’s about asking who Jesus is, why he died, who the Holy Spirit is, and how to pray. Accompanying others as they ask these questions has allowed me to ask them myself.”

“The way we are all trying to be prepared to bring people back to the Church and into the Church is such great vision. That vision is taking us into a new realm that I see flourishing in parishes. What is happening is very encouraging. We aren’t just a place to gather on Sundays, we are the Church. And we are God’s family.”

GROW+GO: turn the page to develop your personal evangelization plan

BY MARY GATES | PHOTOGRAPHY BY TOM GENNARA

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YOUR PERSONAL EVANGELIZATION PLAN

GROW The purpose of your life is to grow continually in intimate relationship with God. The only way to do that is by striving to follow Jesus Christ closely and imitate him.

Following Jesus Christ means we must accept his invitation to give him total lordship over everything in our lives and rely on the Holy Spirit to work in and through us at all times.

GROW as a disciple of Jesus!

PRAY every day STUDY the faith ENGAGE in parish life SERVE others’ needs

Jesus’ final command to his disciples was “Go and make disciples of all nations.” (Mt 28:19) The true mark of a disciple is that they evangelize!

Therefore, we must always strive to share the Good News of Jesus Christ with others.

GO evangelize!

• PRAY for those who are separated from God • WITNESS about Jesus • INVITE them to church • ACCOMPANY them as they grow

1. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring to mind someone in your life who is no longer coming to church.

Write his/her name: 1. PRAY: When in your day will you commit to pray?

2. How will you pray for him/her?

2. STUDY: What can you study, read and attend to learn about your faith this week?

3. H ow can you share your faith with him/her?

3. ENGAGE: How can you become more involved in your parish?

4. W hat could you invite him/her to?

5. H ow could you accompany him/her?

4. SERVE: What can you volunteer to do this month to help those in need?

Place this card somewhere so you can review it.

Begin your plan with step one and try to work your way through all five steps.

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CUT ON DOTTED LINE

• • • •

GO

GROW

GO

as a disciple of Jesus!

• PRAY every day • STUDY the faith • ENGAGE in parish life • SERVE others’ needs

evangelize!

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• PRAY for those who are separated from God • WITNESS about Jesus • INVITE them to church • ACCOMPANY them as they grow

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How do I talk to my kids about sin WHEN THEY DISAGREE WITH A LOT OF THE CHURCH’S TEACHING?

Q

DEAR FATHER JOE: My kids don’t always agree with the Church on some moral issues. How can I explain why some things are sinful if they don’t accept the Church’s definition of sin?

YOUR FAITH IN THE KNOW WITH FATHER JOE

A

OUR CONCERN FOR OUR KIDS’ FAITH is a gift we give them. Too many of us are voluntarily

bogged down with that which doesn’t matter and we neglect the things that are eternal. Here you are, wondering how to show your child the wonder and beauty of what we believe and why – bless you. I’m going to present a plan based on you talking to an

T. Gennara

older high school student up to college.

FATHER JOE KRUPP

is a former comedy writer who is now a Catholic priest. @Joeinblack

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I would start with letting them know that you want to work through this with them. Let them know that you have two things you love: your faith and your kids. You want these two loves to match up. Let them know you want to engage them in a series of discussions about why we believe what we believe and that you will not yell (I’m looking at you!) or get angry at them. Set up a time and make it fun; you’re both going to learn a lot through this.

Once you sit down, begin a conversation with them by asking them to articulate what their struggles are. What don’t they believe? Why don’t they believe it? Give them freedom to express the doubt in their heart and mind. When they express their doubts or struggles, try your best not to react

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or defend. Take notes. Show them that you are taking this seriously by, you know, taking it seriously!

When they finish, ask any questions you need to so that you can understand their struggles better.

Don’t defend anything, explain anything, just let this be about them getting it all into the light.

Thank them for using the beautiful heart and mind that God gave them and for wanting to make sure their faith is real, not simply the recitation of what others have given them to believe. Give ‘em a hug. Eat some popcorn. Pray for the Tigers.

Now, you’ve got their list. You know what is on their hearts and minds. It’s time to pray, then act.

Every time their struggles come to your mind, pray for them. Pray that God opens their hearts to the truth. Pray that God strengthens their Christian convictions. Over and over, give your child to God. Now, it’s time to get to work. Pick one of their struggles and start your research. Find out why the Church teaches what she teaches. Dig deep, get out your catechism, check out online resources (www. dioceseoflansing.org/general/catholicism) and put together a sort of mini presentation for them. Make it fun: did I mention popcorn? Let them know how grateful you are that they are willing to engage you in this.

Do this once a week, twice a month, whatever.

Make sure you have time set aside to put all the distractions aside and focus on each other and on their faith development. Set a time for it to end so that it doesn’t turn into a fatigue-inducing blur on arguments. This is two people who love each other trying to find the truth together … how cool is this?

Walk through this together and make it a joyful time – you won’t regret it.

With that in mind, allow me to give you a couple things to hold on to in your heart. In my opinion, you’ll need confidence, patience and humility.

You’ll need confidence, not in you, but in the truth and wisdom of what the Church teaches. It is my honest and most sincere conviction that, given enough time and information, any reasonable person will come to believe what we believe. I have confidence in what we believe. It is strong, it is true, it is beautiful. As lovers of Jesus, we don’t have to employ tricks, manipulations or fear-mongering to get people there. We need to be loving, faithful and informed.

Patience – we must be patient! Conversion takes time. Bringing someone to believe what we believe is not an overnight thing. Conversion is a process that will last until we see Christ face to face. You

have been engaging in this process the entire life of your child: by your faithful attendance at Mass, by taking them to religious education and by your example. What you are doing now is simply taking the time to intentionally do what you have been subtly doing all along.

Finally, be humble. This process will reveal how much there is to learn and it can be a great gift you give your child to say, “I don’t have all the answers, but I know I can get them!” It’s not a failure that you don’t know everything; it’s only a failure to reject an opportunity to learn. If I know young people, your child will, at times, drive you nuts during this process, fighting for what they want to be true, instead of finding out what is true.

God is bigger than that – he broke through for you and me, that means he can break through for anyone.

In the end, it’s all about planting seeds. Most of the time, we won’t see any growth until much, much later. Our comfort is not in “success,” but in faithfulness. Be faithful, be confident in the faith, patient with the process and your child, and humble as you engage both. God will use you in ways you can’t imagine.

Enjoy another day in God’s presence!

Every time their struggles come to your mind, pray for them.

Pray that God opens their hearts to the truth.

Pray that God strengthens their Christian convictions.

Over and over, give your child to God.”

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YOUR FAITH THEOLOGY 101

What do you say when …

YOUR SISTER WANTS TO ARGUE ABOUT RELIGION AT FAMILY DINNERS? In 2017, Theology 101 is focusing on the topic of evangelization. Specifically, the task is to offer some ways of approaching various questions Catholics may encounter from co-workers, family and friends regarding the practice of the faith. Of course, we must remember that nothing can replace the power of witnessing to the Good News through our own actions and words, combined with our willingness to accompany others on their faith journey.

THE QUESTION: At family dinners, my sister and I always seem to end up arguing about religion. If we, as Catholics, possess the truth, can’t I just tell her she’s wrong?

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First, it is important to acknowledge the truth that being religious does not mean being perfect. Religious people are subject to the same cultural blind spots and social conditioning as everyone else.

The Catholic Church certainly recognizes this. For example, the Church teaches that our sins are forgiven and that we are

SEEKING THE TRUTH The Catholic faith calls us to the truth. This truth is Jesus Christ, a whole and indivisible person. Part of what this means practically is that we are to reject all that is false and to affirm all that is true. In short, we are called to a life of discernment that is indeed arduous. We are constantly tempted to either accept the false as true or reduce reality to a partial truth at the expense of the

APPROACH WITH LOVE Finally, remember to approach others in love. Jesus did not tell us to argue others into faith, but to “love one another as I have loved you.” (Jn 13:34)

FOR FURTHER REFLECTION

Consider prayerfully reading the following Scripture passage: “Then to what shall I compare the people of this generation? What are they like? They are like children who sit in the marketplace and call to one another, ‘We played the flute for you, but you did not dance. We sang a dirge, but you did not weep.’

For John the Baptist came neither eating food nor drinking wine, and you said, ‘He is possessed by a demon.’ The Son of Man came eating and drinking and you said, ‘Look, he is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’ But wisdom is vindicated by all her children.” (Lk 7:31-35) REFLECTION QUESTIONS: 1. Reflect for a few moments on this passage: What do these words of Jesus have to teach us about the nature of society when it comes to discerning the truth?

S. OLSON

THE QUESTION Every truth claim has the character of an absolute. When we believe something to be true, then that is it for us. If it is true, then we are obligated to believe it – that is, if we do not want to live according to a falsehood or knowingly introduce contradiction into our lives.

So when we disagree about faith, each person believes he or she possesses the truth.

The temptation is to label the opposing truth claim as bad. If we characterize it as wrong and evil, then we feel it can be dismissed and we can rest assured of the rightness and superiority of our position. We never have to enter humbly into respectful dialogue and debate about the truth.

Of course, by choosing the easy way of refusing to engage in respectful dialogue, we de facto can become guilty of that for which we are convicting the other side.

fullness of truth.

The task can become even more daunting when we encounter what seems to be a reasonable position that contradicts the teachings of Christ and his Church. How do we handle such a situation?

Do we simply accept the challenge as true? No, at least hopefully not. If Christ is the Way, the Truth and the Life, then anything that contradicts his teachings and that of his Spiritled Church must necessarily contain some element of falsehood within it. However, to stand against such a challenge, especially when it is a very popular position and accepted as true by the dominant culture, is to risk being labeled as a hateful or bigoted person.

Do we counter the position by mounting a “defense” of the Church’s teachings? At times, this approach is certainly warranted.

However, those who are nonbelievers or lukewarm about their faith often will not be moved by such arguments. Convinced of the rightness of their own position, they will be deaf to and dismissive of your arguments regardless of their validity.

Is there a third way? I believe so. The key is finding and articulating the element of falsehood that must be present in the challenge if Christianity is taken as true. By demonstrating the falsehood or illogic inherent in the challenge itself, the ground can be prepared for the truth of the Gospel message to break in. Seeing the false as false then becomes the major task for the believer.

DOUG CULP

is the CAO and secretary for pastoral life for the Diocese of Lexington, Ky. He holds an MA in theology from Catholic Theological Union in Chicago.

EVANGELIZATION QUIZ Who said the following? When you seek truth, you seek God whether you know it or not.

A. St. Jerome B. St. Isidore C. St. Teresa of Avila D. St. Teresa Benedicta (Edith Stein) Answer: (D) St. Teresa Benedicta

made “holy and without blemish” through our baptism. However, the new life granted to us in baptism does not mean that we will remain “holy and without blemish.” Our human nature remains frail and weak. What’s more, we still tend toward sin, which makes a holy life oriented toward eternal life a continuous struggle.

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YOUR LIFE MARRIAGE MATTERS

HE SAYS:

SHE SAYS:

I am hosting one Christmas – they need to figure this out

Our two daughters are not speaking to each other and refuse to be in the same house. I want to have separate Christmases so we can see both of our daughters.

I am hosting Christmas as usual – they are both invited. I appreciate that Michael wants to accommodate, but I say they are adults who either need to make up or figure this out themselves.

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Separate Christmases for our quarreling daughters?

A COUPLE WITH CHILDREN who won’t speak to each another gets

WHAT DO THEY DO? 17:21)

an idea of God’s own sadness about his ever-warring children. Jesus, anticipating such divisions even in his own Church, prayed, “that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.” (Jn

Prayer for their daughters should be Michael and Cynthia’s starting point.

All prayer is powerful, but especially so are the prayers of a sacramentally united couple for their children. It is more than just the combined power of two Christians united in prayer. It is the power of two Christians

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drawing forth grace and strength from their common identity as a sacrament. Moreover, it is prayer directed toward one of the core purposes of their marriage: care for their children.

To add even more power to

their prayer, they should strive to be one in all ways as a couple.

Jesus didn’t just pray that his Church would be one; he prayed that it would be one just as he and his Father are one. Are Michael and Cynthia modeling the kind of unity they want for their daughters?

What should they do about Christmas? Yes, there are occasions during the year when, for good and healthy reasons, parents will get together with their children separately. But this is not one of them. Separate Christmases now would be no more a solution than separate funerals later when the first parent dies. Cynthia is right to want to invite their two daughters to celebrate this special holiday together in the spirit of their shared family identity.

Still, they can accommodate their daughters’ predicament.

While both STEVE AND daughters BRIDGET PATTON should hold master’s know they degrees in are always theology and welcome to counseling and all the major serve as family holidays, life ministers for Michael and the Diocese of Cynthia can Sacramento. assure them that though they would be saddened if their daughters preferred to alternate their visits with them, they would understand.

Bonus suggestion: Invite them to consider a truce this year, much like the British and German troops spontaneously did on Christmas Eve, 1914. Maybe even watch together Joyeux Noël, the Oscar-nominated movie about this amazing evening in World War I. It might even produce a good cry together.

of my friends’ holiday plans involved major family decisions. Where should they celebrate? Custodial arrangements add challenges, but you can facilitate positive experiences.

Listen to your children. It is healthy for your children to express how they feel about different aspects of the divorce, including alternating holidays.

Try not to become defensive as they share. Their perceptions of negative aspects may provide ideas for how to enhance the visit.

Maintain a positive attitude. Telling them, “I wish you didn’t have to go either, but the court says you have to” promotes negative feelings. Instead, focus on positive aspects; mention specific interactions they enjoy at Dad’s house.

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YOUR LIFE PARENTING JOURNEY

My kids don’t want to go to their father’s house for Christmas

T. GENNARA

Q

DR. CATHLEEN MCGREAL

is a psychology professor and certified spiritual director.

My kids’ dad and I are divorced. They don’t want to go to their father’s house for Christmas, but it is his turn. How do I help them have a good holiday experience?

A in our home and the other lived in the house

When I was a child, one of my grandmas lived

behind us; spending holidays with all our loved ones was easy. But as I grew older, I realized that many

Celebrate Advent. Celebrate the season of Advent in meaningful ways. Many traditions associated with Christmas also are appropriate as we prepare for the feast. Activities can be spaced out throughout Advent based on custody arrangements.

Create new family traditions. You could try celebrating Little Christmas (Jan. 6) during noncustodial years; Epiphany commemorates the Magi finding the Baby Jesus. Perhaps your ex-husband would like this to become a tradition in both households rather than just yours. Emphasize the biblical basis for the celebration rather than have it become just another day for presents.

The calming words of Psalm 23:1-3 may bring comfort as you discern how to respond to your children.

How can I negotiate more time off for the holidays?

A:

How do I more time off for the holidays to be with my family?

What words do I use?

Most importantly, you must speak to the compelling reasons you’re obligated to work during this time. Unless you satisfy those objections, you appear to be, and perhaps are, self-serving.

Two other thoughts. Maybe you can negotiate coming in, and leaving, early some days right around Christmas. That could give you more family time.

Also, the Christmas season is 12 days of celebration, culminating in Epiphany on Jan. 6. If your job really requires you to be in around Christmas, perhaps negotiate time off so you can celebrate on Epiphany.

It’s a rich tradition and provides a longer window for family time.

YOUR LIFE WORK LIFE

T. GENNARA

negotiate

Please? Pretty please? With sugar on top? I’m beggin ya!

The words are secondary. What counts is your reasoning.

Since everyone wants more time off at the holidays, first consider why you should be given special consideration. What makes you or your circumstance deserving of preferential treatment?

Second, how are you going to compensate for your absence? What are you willing to give up? Since your absence will likely increase the workload or pressure on others, how will you return the favor?

Will you cover for them on holidays of their preference? Holiday swapping, so to speak?

JIM BERLUCCHI

is the executive director of the Spitzer Center for Visionary Leadership.

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YOUR LIFE GOODLIFE

How can I invite someone

BACK TO CHURCH AT CHRISTMAS? B

ELLS ARE RINGING. The trees are glistening. Everything is covered in snow. All seems right with the world during the

Christmas season. But what if your friend or family member is missing out on the best part of Christmas – Christ? Here are a few ideas to help bring them back to church during this special time.

1 2 3 4

Pray. Ask God to give you the words to reach their hearts. Pray for an opening to have a caring, spirit-filled conversation with all judgments left outside.

Engage in a conversation about favorite Christmas memories.

If they grew up going to church, chances are they’ll have some great memories surrounding family and Christmas Mass. Has anyone else watched their cousin fall off a chair at Midnight Mass while serving?

Find a way to share your joy, talk about what Jesus means to you and what you get out of going to Mass.

Invite them to join you and your family at Mass following a gathering.

An invitation wrapped in the natural event of a Christmas dinner might leave an opening for a better response. It’s something you all do as a family and enjoy especially at Christmas – you’d love it if they would join you!

Continue to pray and be welcoming. If they decide to attend Mass with you, make sure you help them feel at home.

They’re members of our family of faith – don’t allow them to feel like a fish out of water.

Remember to ask because you care, not only because you feel like they need to get back to Mass.

Care first. Wrap them in prayer. Jesus delights in Christmas miracles!

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BY CYNTHIA KAAN

YOUR STORIES

NUN RUN

helps Mandy discern her vocation

I

N AUGUST, seven women from the Diocese of Lansing accompanied Dawn Hausmann, director

of consecrated vocations, on a Nun Run to New York City. As part of their discernment process, the women visited six religious communities, served in soup kitchens and listened to talks about the orders. Below is Mandy Pohl’s reflection on her experience.

Approaching the Nun Run, I had an open heart. I told God, “I feel called to the vocation of consecrated virginity, but if you call me to a religious order, then I will join.” I was excited to visit the Servants of the Lord (Servidoras) because I felt drawn to them during World Youth Day. Therefore, I was curious what would happen if I saw them again. I asked, “Lord, are you calling me to join them?” He never replied. Further, he never gave me consolation about visiting them until the Nun Run. I was looking forward to seeing what he had planned.

On Thursday, we visited the Capuchin Sisters of Nazareth. Their order was beautiful, and I was attracted to the Franciscan way of life, but due to the lack of interactions with children, I knew I could not thrive in this type of order.

Friday, we visited two convents of the Little Sisters of the Poor [1], the Servidoras [2], and the Missionaries of Charity (MC) [3]. At each visit, I asked the Lord if he wanted me to join, but I kept hearing, “My beloved, this is not where I am calling you.”

As I knelt during adoration, I dialogued with the Lord. I asked, “Where are you calling me?” I heard, “Marriage.” I felt instant peace described best by Philippians 4:7 “Then the peace that surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.” Even though I received extraordinary peace, the revelation was a curve ball. I was blissfully in shock.

Then an MC sister handed me a candle and said, [3]

“Light the [1] candle for a petition.” As if I needed clarity, I asked God to reveal my vocation. I was thinking, “Well, all the vocations involve a marriage of some kind.” As I prayed, I felt the Lord asking me to turn around.

[2] I saw a stain glass window with the words, “Matrimony,” and I heard, “The two shall become one flesh.”

I felt the peace from Philippians 4:7 rush over me again. I did not anticipate this revelation on the Nun Run. However, the Lord used my openness to all vocations to reveal where I will glorify him the most.

Saturday, we visited the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal [4] and the cloistered branch of the Servidoras.

Our drive home on Sunday provided an opportunity for reflection. I was inspired by one woman’s openness to enter a cloistered convent. She is keeping her heart open to the vocation because she trusts God knows where she will have the fullest life.

Another woman felt called to join the Franciscan TORs, and the Lord used the Nun Run to reassure her that he is calling her to join their order.

Reflecting on the religious orders, I was struck by the beauty of each. I am clear evidence the Lord does not call every willing woman to join a religious order, but he does use the discernment process to draw you deeper into his heart and reveal the vocation he called you to from the beginning. So, in the words of St. Pope John Paul II, “Do not be afraid. Open wide the doors for Christ!”

NUN RUN

[4] FROM LEFT TO RIGHT: Laura Schramm, Kelsey Dassance, Jennie Parrish, Sr. Maria Theresa, RoseMary Battle, Karoline Knedgen, Sr. John Paul Marie, Monica Wegienka, Mandy Pohl.

[4]

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Would you walk the streets of one of Flint’s most depressed neighborhoods?

Deacon Mike Martin is an imposing guy. He drives a big truck.

He owned a heating and cooling business in the Ann Arbor area, and is a deacon at St. Mary parish in Chelsea. When Bishop Earl Boyea launched the FAITH in Flint initiative, Deacon Mike participated in a day for deacons and, through prayer, was reminded of a call he felt to serve the poor. He reached out to Father Firestone.

Father Firestone, the “pope of Flint,” is pastor of five of Flint’s Catholic churches, including St. Mary Church on the east side.

Some say the east side is one of the most depressed parts of Flint. When Deacon Mike offered to help, Father Tom Firestone sent him there.

Deacon Mike is a doer. He took a map of the neighborhood and counted more than 100 homes that needed repairs. Tasks such as furnace or water heater repair were easy enough to do.

These are things a doer could rally other doers to fix.

But Father Firestone said no. No? But, there was a great need?! Father Firestone agreed that the work is important.

However, for decades, groups would come to Flint, fix something and leave. Then what? It goes back. If you want to 20

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help this neighborhood, don’t come in, fix something and leave.

Rather get to know the people. Learn to love them. Introduce them to hope itself and show them who Jesus Christ is. First, go and walk the streets of Flint.

Deacon Mike is not allowed to walk alone. At least one other person must go. When you walk with Deacon Mike, you walk on crumbling sidewalks along streets with patches of newer, roughly laid asphalt, evidence of where water lines have been replaced. On some blocks, most of the houses are gone, halfburned or stripped of anything of value. A dog barks. Kids laugh and play. The sun shines through the trees as we walk up to a man sitting on his porch.

Deacon Mike introduces himself and says he’s from St. Mary.

He offers his card, writes his mobile phone number on it and tells the man, “If there is anything you need, call me.” Turns out, this man used to go to St. Mary, but doesn’t anymore. After more chatting, Deacon Mike asks if there is anything the gentleman wants him to pray for. A relative has cancer. We bow our heads and prayers are said. The fellow asks what time Mass is. Deacon Mike tells him 10 a.m. Sunday, then we move on.

BY PATRICK M. O’BRIEN | PHOTOGRAPHY BY JIM LUNING

Before that stop, we had a much more somber encounter a few streets over. We met Deacon Omar from Our Lady of Guadalupe parish. Deacon Omar was on the east side this evening because a young man in his early 20s died a few days ago from a drug overdose. He died alone in his home – a house with no power and no heat. In the side yard, tall grass was growing through car parts. On the oil-spattered driveway where the young man would repair cars, a makeshift shrine now stood. Photos of a handsome, smiling, gentle face were stapled to the garage door.

There were candles, notes, teddy bears and cards honoring Our Lady. Deacon Omar led about a dozen people through the rosary in Spanish. Deacon Mike prayed along quietly in English.

On another of Deacon Mike’s walks, we visited Jerry. When you approach Jerry’s house, you can tell it is a center of activity. It’s hard to tell how old Jerry is – he’s led a hard life. You would like Jerry if you met him.

He has a broad smile. He looks you in the eyes and is a great conversationalist. Perhaps had Jerry been born under different economic and societal circumstances, he might have taken

his natural charm and entrepreneurial talent and lived a very different life. Instead, Jerry was a drug dealer.

Jerry had been in jail more than 30 times for drug-related crimes. But, no more. At least, we hope no more. He greets Deacon Mike with the familiarity of an old friend. Jerry hands Deacon Mike a piece of paper. With pride and relief, Jerry says he’s finally written his story of leaving behind his old life. He had found something more life-giving – a purpose. He had found Christ. Deacon Mike had been nurturing a friendship with Jerry, praying with him and visiting him. Newfound faith can be fragile. Yet, Jerry is passionate and bringing other men to Deacon Mike’s Tuesday Bible study.

Someone donated a van to St. Mary to make it easier for guys like those in the Bible study to travel across the city to participate in the job training program at St. Luke N.E.W. Life Center. One of the guys Jerry brought around is now in the program. Deacon Mike is also working with the job preparation class to teach them how to do home repairs, such as fixing a furnace or replacing a water heater.

There is a lady who lives down the street from Jerry. She greets

“If you want to help this neighborhood, don’t come in, fix something and leave.

Rather get to know the people. Learn to love them.

Introduce them to hope itself and show them who Jesus Christ is.”

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PRAY: That with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, the mission in Flint will help to build up the kingdom of God; pray to know God’s will for your life.

STUDY: Read the lives of the saints and Scripture; for example, read Storm of Glory: The Story of St. Thérèse of Lisieux and the First Book of Samuel.

ENGAGE: In learning about your charisms, in learning what it means to be an intentional disciple of Christ by checking out Called and Gifted; in learning more about Flint by coming for a visit.

SERVE: Because you have prayed, and God has planted the desire to serve him on your heart.

To learn more about Faith in Flint, visit

FAITH IN FL INT.C OM or contact Mary Dowsett at marydowsett@flintcatholic.org.

Deacon Mike with a happy, yet weary, response. She is a mother and grandmother who carries many burdens. He asks about her furnace. She sighs, and says it still does not work. Deacon Mike says he’d like to fix it while it is still summer and asked her if it was OK if he has help from one of the guys in the neighborhood.

He explains the St. Luke program. She is happy to help another person and get help for herself in the process. She is grateful.

Then Deacon Mike asks about her grandson. He has been showing up occasionally for Bible study and he has not once missed taking the van to St. Luke for the job training program. Deacon Mike tells her that the parish is going to have a community event and that he invited her grandson to cook.

She got very excited and said she would like to help, too.

The community event is something Deacon Mike and the St. Mary Parish staff have been praying about and planning for some time. What did the community need? The form they decided upon was not just a festival, but a day of prayer and healing.

Sure, they would have food and fun. But more important was the need for prayer and a healing service. So much healing was needed on the east side – mind, body and soul. On the day of

the event, they ended up giving away more than 800 backpacks for children filled with school supplies. Many deacons, religious sisters and prayer teams were there to pray with people. They would have Mass. They didn’t know how many people would come – maybe 300? More than 1,000 people came.

God only knows what it will take to turn around a neighborhood like the east side. But on this day, a grandmother was there with her grandson cooking authentic Mexican food. Jerry and his friends were there. Guys from the work program were cooking, too. Several of these guys now have jobs. Many of the people Deacon Mike had met and helped were there. At least on this day, neighbors who once were afraid to come out of their homes were together. Lots of kids were laughing and playing.

Father Firestone was right. Rather than volunteers only coming in to fix things and leave, as good as this is, it is better when neighbors help neighbors. Young men were being trained to fix a neighbor’s furnace, to cook for others, to offer a ride, to pray for one another, to laugh with each other, to heal, to bring back hope.

It’s just a beginning – a first step. Christ is present in the streets of Flint, and his footsteps sound a lot like Deacon Mike’s.

“Father Firestone was right.

Rather than volunteers only coming in to fix things and leave, as good as this is, it is better when neighbors help neighbors.”

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The ‘remarkable faith community’ of the Diocese of Lansing has made Witness to Hope a great success

F

OR THE CAMPAIGN TEAM from Greater Mission, which has directed the Witness to Hope campaign in the Diocese of Lansing, these last two-and-a-half years have been a labor of love. Members of this Catholic development firm came to Michigan in June of 2015, and since then have encountered a faith community that is committed to advancing the mission of the Church, enthused about their faith and the future of the Church, and which is remarkably generous.

ABOVE: Greater Mission campaign team, from left to right: John French, Ryan Petrillo, Joe Citro, Jr., Johnny Day, Nancy Koons, Kristin Smith, Ryan Lopez, Donna Marino and Tony Gwiazdowski.

Missing from the photo are John Alves, Marty Alves and Paula Cadavid.

Greater Mission team members come from all over the country, and in their time here, have become part of the fabric of our diocese. Living and working in the ten counties of our diocese and traveling home on most weekends, the team has partnered with the pastors and lay leaders in the parishes over this time to execute the campaign.

Tony Gwiazdowski is the executive director of the campaign and the executive vice president and partner of Greater Mission. He and his team of 10 professionals have worked closely with Bishop Earl Boyea; Father Tim MacDonald, pastor of Queen of the Miraculous Medal Parish in Jackson; George Landolt, chief finance officer for the diocese; John Madigan, president of the Catholic Foundation; and the bishop’s campaign cabinet.

Tony explains what has made his time here in Michigan so special.

“What has amazed many of us during our time here is the collegiality, love and respect the clergy have for each other. They support each other, speak well of each

other and share a genuine concern for each other’s well-being. They are genuinely happy to hear of a brother priest’s success. That is not always the case in some dioceses.

This is a tremendous presbyterate.

In addition, we have never had so many younger priests and parochial vicars become so involved in the campaign. So many of the newly ordained have recognized the campaign as a way to learn more about a facet of pastoral leadership that they will need in the future, and as a way to connect to the people they are presently serving. It has been a fun experience to work with these young priests and see their enthusiasm for the process.

“Personally, I have been truly privileged to work closely with Bishop Boyea. His leadership, vision, passion for the diocese and his great sense of humor have been such a joy to experience. Our team loves to be with him, and is continually amazed at the detail of the insights he has about parishes and people. His monthly presence at our staff meetings has provided tremendous support, information and, at times, much laughter! He is truly a blessing to this diocese and to us.

“So many things have impressed us – particularly the office and ministry staff at the parishes and the diocesan staff who have been highly engaged in the campaign. George Landolt and his finance group – especially Colleen Andrews and all those involved in pledge processing – have worked tirelessly to assure accuracy and a high level of responsiveness to the pastors and the donors. John Madigan and Lisa Weber of the newly formed Catholic Foundation have been great partners on all aspects of Witness to Hope.

“Being from the East Coast, it occurs to me that reading this article a cynical person would say: ‘Well they are just saying that because its part of their job.’

But honestly, that’s just not true. As much as I love my home, I know our team agrees with me that leaving this diocese is going to be really tough. We’ve built wonderful friendships, and lived and worked in a remarkable faith community. While it hasn’t been perfect or without challenges, our campaign directors have commented on more than one occasion that this has been a once-in-a-lifetime experience because of the parishioners and the leadership of the clergy.

“Witness to Hope has been a great success thanks to so many people working together to advance the mission of the Church. Most importantly, we want all of the good people of the Diocese of Lansing to know that from our perspective – as people who see the Church in many places around the country – you, your diocese, your priests and your bishop are very special. You have something amazing here. You are very blessed, and you have blessed Greater Mission by allowing us to be part of it!”

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YOUR STORIES GROW+GO

‘I knew I wanted something

DIFFERENT FROM LIFE’ How God completely changed Michael

BY ROSE ROBERTSON | PHOTOGRAPHY BY TOM GENNARA

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“A

BOVE ALL, trust in the slow work of God.” These words from a poem by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, a Jesuit priest and renowned scientist, resonate with 54-yearold Michael McMurtray. Passionate about his faith, Michael’s recent return to Catholicism is testimony to that slow work and trust. “I better understand that everything I did was ultimately searching for God’s love; I was just looking in the wrong places,” he says. And he looked for a long time.

Despite being baptized into the Church in Texas as an infant, Michael didn’t experience Catholicism until his teen years. His parents, divorced when he was 5, resumed their relationship during his teen years; that was when his mother introduced an active faith life to the family. Michael went through the confirmation process and was captivated. He says, “God came into my life. I went with it. I even felt I wanted to be a priest, explored various orders, and had the papers in hand to apply to the Franciscan Order.”

During this discernment process, Michael met Shannon, the woman with whom he wanted to share his life. But Shannon was engaged to another, eventually relocated to Michigan and was subsequently out of Michael’s life. But the intensity of his feelings for Shannon clarified for Michael that he was not called to religious life. He began a relationship with another woman, and this is when things began to unravel.

Though intending to dissolve their relationship, the couple found themselves pregnant. “I was a happy Christian, very involved with the Church, until the pregnancy. I went to talk to the priest about getting married. Despite both of us being Catholic, he refused to marry us during her pregnancy. I felt rejected, like the Church turned its back on me. I felt I no longer fit in. Motivated to protect my child within a family, we ended up with a civil ceremony.”

Their rocky marriage never found firm ground, and those effects permeated everything. Michael began to question Church teaching, turned his back on God, considered himself agnostic and even succumbed to pornography. After 25 years, when his daughters were young adults, he left their home.

He quickly entered another relationship and, through a friend of his girlfriend, ended up attending a Mass.

“I remember liking it. It started me questioning my motives and what I wanted to do with my life. I saw my pattern of superficial relationships and didn’t want that anymore. I knew I needed to go back to church.”

Michael also realized he’d never stopped thinking about Shannon. Unaware she’d been recently widowed, he began an earnest search.

He continues, “At the onset of my return to faith, I pushed myself to attend Mass. When I got home from

church one Saturday, there was a message on my phone from Shannon.” It’d been a year and a half since he’d begun his search. “I believe that was a God moment,” he says.

Although still in Texas, Michael began a six-month phone relationship with Shannon, who still resided in Michigan. During their conversations, he found peace in sharing his story and his thoughts with her. On Palm Sunday, 2012, he flew to Michigan and saw Shannon for the first time in 25 years at Mass. “It was very meaningful to reconnect at church, especially being together at a Mass where baptismal promises were renewed,” he says. Michael still knew she was the one.

They wed in June of 2013. By opening his heart to God, and to Shannon, Michael began to feel whole again for the first time in a very long time.

After Michael relocated to Michigan, he joined Immaculate Heart of Mary Parish in Lansing and began a quest to satisfy his awakening spiritual hunger. He became an extraordinary minister of holy Communion, joined the Knights of Columbus, began listening to Catholic Radio and served as I better understand that an Alpha table host. “I really liked everything I did was the small groups, and willingly ultimately searching for God’s opened my heart to share my life. I felt connected to God in a big way love; I was just looking in the and yet, I didn’t feel I was being fed wrong places.” enough,” he says.

Michael approached his pastor about forming a men’s group. He and another man now host a weekly men’s discipleship group, which provides the sustenance Michael was longing to find. He says, “We use a faith study series that includes the catechism and is very intentionally directed at a life in Christ.”

The group currently has 11 members.

Michael concludes: “I have no regrets; I think God speaks to us and reaches us through our vulnerability.

I knew I wanted something different from life and, in God’s time, it happened. If my life had been different, I wouldn’t have grown the way I have.”

CATHOLICS COME HOME A Catholics Come Home television campaign will occur in the Diocese of Lansing from mid-December through mid-January 2018. Look for these beautiful television spots beginning this Advent.

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YOUR COMMUNITY THINGS TO DO

REGIONAL ADVENT PENANCE SERVICES:

PLEASE CALL THE PARISH OFFICE TO CONFIRM DATE AND TIME. Clinton/Eaton/Ingham Regional Penance Services • Dec. 17, 2 p.m., St. Thomas Aquinas, East Lansing • Dec. 17, 2 p.m., St. Gerard, Lansing • Dec. 20, 7 p.m., St. James, Mason Genesee/Shiawassee Regional Penance Services • Dec. 17, 3 p.m., St. Mark the Evangelist, Grand Blanc • Dec. 19, 3-8 p.m., St. Pius X, Flint Jackson Regional Penance Services • Dec. 11, 7 p.m., St. Rita, Clarklake • Dec. 12, 7 p.m., St. Catherine Labouré, Concord • Dec. 14, 7 p.m., St. John the Evangelist, Jackson • Dec. 16, 10 a.m., St. Mary Star of the Sea, Jackson • Dec. 19, 7 p.m., Queen of the Miraculous Medal, Jackson • TBD, Our Lady of Fatima, Michigan Center Lenawee/Hillsdale Regional Penance Services • Dec. 5, 7 p.m., St. Anthony of Padua, Hillsdale • Dec. 7, 7 p.m., Light of Christ, Blissfield • Dec. 10, 7 p.m., St. Elizabeth, Tecumseh • Dec. 12, 6:30 p.m., Sacred Heart, Hudson • Dec. 14, 6:30 p.m., St. Joseph Shrine, Brooklyn • Dec. 18, 7 p.m., St. Joseph, Adrian Livingston Regional Penance Services • Dec. 14, 7 p.m., St. Joseph, Howell • Dec. 18, 7 p.m., St. Mary Magdalen, Brighton Washtenaw Regional Penance Service • Dec. 11, 7 p.m., St. Andrew, Saline • Dec. 12, 7 p.m., St. Joseph, Dexter • Dec. 13, 7 p.m., St. Patrick, Ann Arbor • Dec. 13, 7 p.m., St. Mary, Chelsea • Dec. 14, 7 p.m., St. Mary, Manchester • Dec. 21, 7 p.m., St. John the Baptist, Ypsilanti

Dec. 2, noon to 6:30 p.m., and Dec. 3, 9 a.m.-12:30 p.m., St. Paul, Owosso’s Altar Society will hold its annual cookie sale in Father Kolenski Hall.

We will have lots of homemade cookies, bars and candy; some will be packaged for gift giving. All proceeds benefit St. Paul Parish.

Dec. 2, 9 a.m.-3 p.m., St. Michael’s Christmas craft bazaar will be held in the church’s Fellowship Hall and School, located at 345 Edwards St., Grand Ledge. All are welcome to attend. For information, call the parish office at 517.627.8493.

Dec. 2-3, First Sunday of Advent book sale after all the Masses at St. Thomas Aquinas and St. John Church in East Lansing, with selections available to help enrich Advent. For more information, please contact St. Thomas Aquinas at 517.351.7215 or St. John Church & Student Center at 517.37.9778.

Dec. 3, the 30th annual Advent Choirfest will be held at 5 p.m at St. Mary Star of the Sea Church in Jackson. A reception will be held immediately following in the Star Hall. This annual event features choirs from Christian churches from the surrounding Jackson community, and all are invited.

Dec. 7, 7 p.m., St. John Catholic Church in Howell will have an Advent Tea in Thompson Hall. For more information, call the parish office at 517.546.7200.

Dec. 8, 10 a.m.-noon, St. Thomas

Aquinas Church, 955 Alton Rd., East Lansing, will have an Advent Mom and Tots event in Father Mac Hall. To register and learn more, please call 517.351.5460 or dlewis@ elcatholics.org.

Dec. 8-10, Worldwide Marriage Encounter weekend to renew and enrich your marriage and your faith will be held at St. Francis Retreat Center in DeWitt. For information or to register, contact Andrew or Alaina at 734.531.9191 or visit wwme.org.

Dec. 9, 9 a.m.-7 p.m., and Dec. 10, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., the Church of the Resurrection, Lansing invites you to its St. Nicholas bake sale in Mercy Hall. On Dec. 9, from 1-3 p.m., each child can decorate to take home four Christmas cookies for $1. Also, each child who brings and donates one canned good for the St. Vincent DePaul Society can make and take a craft home. Registration is not required. Come and enjoy fellowship while your child has some fun.

Dec. 10, 2 p.m., All Faith Ministry for Disabilities is hosting a Special Needs Mass followed by a Holiday Party at the St. Francis Retreat Center Chapel, 703 E. Main St., DeWitt. Everyone is welcome. Please RSVP to Cathy Blatnik by Dec. 4 at 517.381.1410 or lcblatnik@juno. com. Our ministry has activities and events for all ages and abilities.

For more information, please visit disabilitiesministries.org.

Dec. 10, 3 p.m., St. Agnes Catholic Church in Fowlerville is hosting a Festival of Carols performed by the handbell, parish and children choirs, and youth ensemble. A reception will

RETREAT CENTERS ST. FRANCIS RETREAT CENTER, DEWITT, 517.669.8321 or STFRANCIS.WS • Dec. 1-3, a Married Couples Retreat to deepen your knowledge of yourself, your spouse and God. • Dec. 8, 9 a.m.-3:30 p.m., a eucharistic Advent Retreat: We sing “O Come Emmanuel,” but the truth is that Emmanuel is with us always in intimate love and power in the Blessed Sacrament. Stir up your heart to receive the wonderful grace of his presence. Presenter: Tony Sperendi.

WEBER RETREAT AND CONFERENCE, CENTER, WEBER. ADRIANDOMINICANS.ORG or 517.266,4000 • Dec. 3-8, 7 p.m. Sunday to noon Friday, Begin the wondrous season of Advent with a guided retreat by Brian Walker, OP. Register online or call the Weber Center.

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DECEMBER CAFÉ EVENTS

CATHOLIC CHARITIES

Dec. 9, 7 p.m., this Advent, the Church of the Resurrection in Lansing invites you to a special Healing Encounter: Do you want to celebrate this Christmas from the heart? Jesus came to bring healing and restoration. He loves you and longs to show you that. Come and receive the healing that God wants for you. Prepare to welcome Jesus this Christmas with a new heart. All are welcome to attend an evening of adoration, praise and worship, confession and prayer ministry. For information, contact the parish office at 517.487.0439.

Nov. 28 to Dec. 29, Tuesdays, St. Pius X, Flint will have for Advent “33 Days to Morning Glory,” a retreat you will do at home. Kit cost is $30 and includes meeting once a week for video and discussion. If interested, please attend the introductory meeting on Nov. 14, 6:30 p.m. in the parish center. For information, contact the parish at 810.235.8574.

follow. For more information, contact the parish office at 517.223.8684.

Catholic Engaged Encounter is a Christian marriage preparation ministry based on Catholic teachings and values that emphasize the relationship of the couples in terms of their sacramental commitment.

Dates for 2018 are: Feb. 24-25; May 5-6; June 9-10; and Sept. 8-9. For information, visit lansingcee.org, or contact Sue and Wayne Fransted at 517.740.4132 or info@lansingcee.org.

CATHOLIC CHARITIES OF JACKSON, LENAWEE AND HILLSDALE COUNTIES, 517.879.0599 or CATHOLICCHARITIESJLHC.ORG • Dec. 10, Catholic Charities JLHC will host a Christmas party for teens in foster care. If you would like to donate gifts for the teens, suggestions are: art supplies, jewelry, electronics, sports memorabilia (clothing/hats/equipment), toiletries, cologne, perfume, hats, gloves and gift cards for food, movies or shopping. Also, donations of money are welcome to help pay for the party and presents that are purchased for the teens.

CATHOLIC SOCIAL SERVICES OF WASHTENAW COUNTY, 734.327.9717 or CSSWASHTENAW.ORG • Celebrate the season of giving by supporting our Northside Community Center Emergency Food Pantry in Ann Arbor. Holiday fare is especially appreciated; also nonperishable food and personal care items. For more information, call 734.662.4462 or visit csswashtenaw.org/food-housing/emergency-food-program.

Jan. 5-6, Retrouvaille Weekend Retreat is a program to help couples heal and renew their marriage, and provides the tools to help put your marriage in order again. For information or to register, call 517.290.5596 or visit retrouvaileoflansing.com.

Jan. 20, 9:30 a.m.-3 p.m., a day retreat, Spiritual Health for the New Year, at St. Francis Retreat Center in DeWitt: Experience physical, mental, emotional and spiritual benefits as you pray using movement, music, guided meditation, journaling and Lectio Divina – for everyone regardless of age, experience or physical limitation. For further information, contact Janene Ternes of Prayer in Motion, LLC at 734.347.2422 or visit prayer-in-motion.com.

CATHOLIC CHARITIES OF SHIAWASSEE AND GENESEE COUNTIES, FLINT: 810.232.9950, OWOSSO: 989.723.7239, or CCSC.ORG • Help us put Hope in a Box for those in need this Christmas by donating: new towels and socks for adults, unwrapped toys and toiletries and cleaning items – tems that aren’t included for Bridge Cards and other forms of assistance. If your group, business or organization would like to help provide these to the Community Closet to aid individuals and families in need, please call 810.232.9950.

• Dec. 8, 11 a.m., Warming Center Blessing Day in the newly renovated Center for Hope. Clergy from across the community will gather to bless Catholic Charities’ Warming Center and its guests for the upcoming season. All are welcome. For information, call 810.232.9950.

• Be an Angel for a Child this Christmas: Last year, nearly 2,000 children received Christmas gifts through the Angel Tree program. If you would like to help provide Christmas for a child in need, call John at the North End Soup Kitchen, 810.785.6911.

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LIVINGSTON COUNTY CATHOLIC CHARITIES, LIVINGSTONCATHOLICCHARITIES.ORG or 517.545.5944 • Drop-in Substance Abuse Engagement Group for people struggling with substance use/abuse is free and open to everyone. Group dates are Mondays, 6-7:30 p.m.; Wednesdays, 10:30 a.m.-noon; and Fridays, 10-11:30 a.m. Come to one or come to all each week. For information, call 517.545.5944.

• Foster families needed: Thinking of becoming a foster parent?

Livingston County Catholic Charities has a free orientation meeting to learn more about foster care on the third Monday of each month. The next meeting is Dec. 18, 5-7 p.m., at the Catholic Charities office, 2020 E. Grand River, Ste. 101, Howell. To reserve your seat, call Amanda at 517.545.5944.

ST. VINCENT CATHOLIC CHARITIES, LANSING, • Dec. 1, 6:30-10 a.m., please join us for breakfast at our annual Community Thank You Open House. It is free and includes 99.1 WFMK’s Danny Stewart and Monica Harris broadcasting live from the event. The Open House will be held at our Children’s Home Gymnasium, located at 2828 W. Willow St., Lansing.

• “Be An Angel” Holiday Giving Drive: To make a difference in your community, “Be An Angel” tags are available on Holiday Giving Trees at the Lansing and Meridian malls; and at participating stores in the Eastwood Towne Center. Each gift tag contains information on a specific item to be purchased and donated to the clients of St. Vincent Catholic Charities. In addition to the gift tags, options to “Adopt a Child,” or to “Adopt a Family” are available for individuals or organizations to purchase specific items that are identified on the child’s or family’s wish list. For more information, visit stvcc.org/Holiday-Giving.

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YOUR COMMUNITY LOCAL NEWS

FAITH IN ACTION WITH THE ‘MEN IN BLACK’ In October, a capacity audience attended Catholic Charities of Jackson, Lenawee and Hillsdale Counties’ benefit dinner at St. Rita Catholic Church in Clarklake. The speakers, who included Father Tim MacDonald, pastor of Queen of the Miraculous Medal Parish in Jackson; Cayla Upham, a senior foster care case manager; Liz Kelly, a former client; and Father Joe Krupp, pastor of Sacred Heart, Hudson, and St. Mary on the Lake, Manitou Beach, focused on “faith in action.” The evening ended on a fun note with all the Men in Black attending – six priests and five deacons – leading the crowd in the song “Whatsoever You Do.”

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BISHOP BLESSES SR. CLAUDIA BURKE CENTER FOR HOPE IN FLINT It may have been raining outside, but inside the newly renovated Catholic Charities’ Sr. Claudia Burke Center for Hope, it was nothing but smiles as Bishop Boyea gave his blessing to the site. The Center is named after Sr. Claudia Burke, a religious of the Franciscan Sisters of the Poor located in Cincinnati, Ohio. Representatives of the order traveled to Flint to be a part of the excitement and ribbon-cutting ceremony.

Catholic Charities CEO Vicky Schultz was surrounded by supporters and members of the Catholic Community of Flint as she welcomed everyone for an afternoon of celebration. “This marks the beginning of a new path in our mission of service to this community. We have given more than 75 years of help and hope to the families of Flint, and now we can do even more to improve the quality of life for countless families in need,” she said.

The 30,000-square-foot building offers a community closet, personal needs room, newly created showers and laundry facility, an updated soup kitchen and warming center/event area, while welcoming Hamilton Health Network mini-clinic.

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ST. GERARD JUNIOR HIGH STUDENTS USE NATURE TO CREATE ART Mrs. Margo Barber’s junior high art students at St. Gerard Catholic School created some beautiful sculptures using nature. Their inspiration came from British artist Andy Goldsworthy. Both classes were scheduled to have two field trips to Grand Woods Park in Delta Township to work on their creations.

Their first trip was for planning and exploring nature, while the second was for creating their pieces. The students used natural items to make some amazing art.

Emily Paradine and Sophia Quintieri

REQUIESCAT IN PACE Rev. Richard L. McLernan, OSFS passed away Oct. 4, 2017, at Rosary Care Center in Sylvania, Ohio. He made his first profession as an Oblate of St. Francis de Sales in 1948 and was ordained to the priesthood July 14, 1957. After ordination, Father McLernan began a long career in Catholic education, including 25 years at Lumen Christi Catholic High School in Jackson until 2005.

The Mass of Christian Burial was celebrated at Our Lady of Fatima Church in Michigan Center on Oct. 19.

DIOCESAN WOMEN’S CONFERENCE DRAWS BIG CROWD

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More than 1,000 women from across the diocese took time of out of their busy schedules on Nov. 4 to attend the Diocese of Lansing Women’s Conference at the Lansing Center The sellout crowd was inspired and challenged by speakers Erin Looby-Carlson, Colleen Mitchell, Father Matthias Thelen and Father Mark Rutherford. Music was provided by Melanie Rea and local musicians.

The day was filled with opportunities for spiritual growth and renewal for groups of friends, mothers and daughters, sisters and soulmates. In addition to hearing speakers and testimonials, attendees spent time in Adoration of the Eucharist and renewing their relationship with Christ in the sacrament of reconciliation. The day concluded with Mass with Bishop Earl Boyea. The bishop challenged the women to be witnesses, to take the message of God’s love back to their communities and families, and to invite others to come share in the joy of the Gospel.

According to one attendee, Kathleen Larsen, “The speakers were inspirational and thought-provoking, and I felt a peacefulness about the atmosphere, especially during Adoration.”

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DIOCESAN YOUTH CELEBRATE THEIR FAITH More than 600 youth from the 10 counties of the Diocese of Lansing gathered for the “Unashamed” Youth Conference Nov. 5 at the Lansing Center. The title of the conference comes from Romans 1:16: “For I am not ashamed of the Gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes.” Bishop Earl Boyea presided at Mass, and challenged the youth to be unashamed of their love for God and in sharing it with friends and family.

Melanie Rae and local musicians provided music, and Joey McCoy of i.d.9:16 served as master of ceremonies. Speakers Paul J. Kim and Chelsea Gheesling challenged the youth to reject all that prevents them from growing in love for Christ.

The youth helped pack 61 boxes with cleaning supplies, food, and personal care items they had donated for Hurricane Harvey victims.

Attendees enjoyed the opportunity to celebrate the sacrament of reconciliation, and spent time in Adoration of the Eucharist.

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g ood life:

How can I invite someone back to church at Christmas?

The Magazine of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing DECEMBER 2017 VOLUME 17: ISSUE 10

www.FAITHpub.com Most Rev. Earl Boyea PUBLISHER

Rev. Dwight Ezop

GROW as a disciple of Jesus from the b ishop :

How can we become missionary disciples?

p lus:

GO EVANGELIZE Cheryl accompanies others as they grow in faith 1

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POPE WATCH WHAT POPE FRANCIS HAS BEEN SAYING AND DOING RECENTLY

“Along with the Saints, let the joy and beauty of living the Gospel shine through the witness of our lives.” @Pontifex Oct. 15, 2017

CANONIZATION OF 35 SAINTS FROM BRAZIL AND MEXICO Pope Francis proclaimed 35 new saints at a canonization Mass at the Vatican on Oct. 15. Thirtythree of the new saints, including three children, were martyrs in either Mexico or Brazil. One of the non-martyrs was Father Manuel Miguez Gonzalez, a Spanish priest from the nineteenth and early twentieth century who devoted his life to furthering education opportunities for girls and women. An estimated 35,000 people attended the Mass. In his homily, the Holy Father reflected on the Gospel, the parable of the wedding feast, and called on the faithful to imitate the new saints who said “yes” to God’s invitation and put on “the wedding garment of God’s love.”

SYNOD OF BISHOPS TO FOCUS ON THE AMAZON REGION A synod of bishops for the Pan-Amazonian region will convene in October of 2019 in Rome, Pope Francis announced. The synod will address the topic of evangelization of indigenous peoples in the remote areas of the Amazon forest, as well as helping to promote the economic development of the region.

The Church works with the indigenous population to foster responsible stewardship and to protect their human rights and cultural traditions.

Most Rev. Carl F. Mengeling FOUNDING PUBLISHER

Rev. Charles Irvin

Pope Francis gestures during his visit at the Scholas Occurentes foundation in Rome, Italy.

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FAITHTM (USPS 019993) is a publication of FAITH Catholic, Diocese of Lansing, 1500 E. Saginaw St., Lansing, MI 48906-5550. FAITHTM is a membership publication of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing and is published monthly except for February and August. To purchase a subscription, log on to FAITHpub.com. If you have a change of address, please contact your parish. Periodicals postage paid in Lansing, MI and at additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to FAITHTM, 1500 E. Saginaw St., Lansing MI 48906-5550. ©2017 FAITH Catholic. FAITH is a trademark of FAITH Catholic.

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Father’s love letter LAST WORD

AN INTIMATE MESSAGE FROM GOD TO YOU

My Child,

You may not know me, but I know everything about you. (Ps 139:1) I know when you sit down and when you rise up. (Ps 139:2) I am familiar with all your ways. (Ps 139:3) Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. (Mt 10:29-31) For you were made in my image. (Gn 1:27) In me you live and move and have your being. (Acts 17:28) For you are my offspring. (Acts 17:28) I knew you even before you were conceived. (Jer 1:4-5) I chose you when I planned creation. (Eph 1:11-12) You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. (Ps 139:15-16) I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. (Acts 17:26) You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Ps 139:14) I knit you together in your mother’s womb. (Ps 139:13) And brought you forth on the day you were born. (Ps 71:6) I have been misrepresented by those who don’t know me. (Jn 8:41-44) I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. (1 Jn 4:16) And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. (1 Jn 3:1) Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. (1 Jn 3:1) I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. (Mt 7:11) For I am the perfect Father. (Mt 5:48) Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. (Jas 1:17) For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. (Mt 6:31-33) My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. (Jer 29:11) Because I love you with an everlasting love. (Jer 31:3) My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. (Ps 139:17-18) And I rejoice over you with singing. (Zep 3:17) I will never stop doing good to you. (Jer 32:40) For you are my treasured possession. (Ex 19:5) I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. (Jer 32:41) And I want to show you great and marvelous things.

(Jer 33:3) If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. (Dt 4:29) Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. (Ps 37:4) For it is I who gave you those desires. (Phil 2:13) I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. (Eph 3:20) For I am your greatest encourager. (2 Thes 2:16-17) I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. (2 Cor 1:3-4) When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. (Ps 34:18) As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. (Is 40:11) One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. (Rv 21:3-4) And I’ll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. (Rv 21:3-4) I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my Son, Jesus. (Jn 17:23) For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. (Jn 17:26) He is the exact representation of my being. (Heb 1:3) He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you.

(Rom 8:31) And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. (2 Cor 5:18-19) Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. (2 Cor 5:18-19) His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. (1 Jn 4:10) I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. (Rom 8:31-32) If you receive the gift of mySon Jesus, you receive me. (1 Jn 2:23) And nothing will ever separate you from my love again.

(Rom 8:38-39) Come home and I’ll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. (Lk 15:7) I have always been Father, and will always be Father. (Eph 3:14-15) My question is … Will you be my child? (Jn 1:12-13) I am waiting for you. (Lk 15:11-32)

Love, Your Dad ... Almighty God

FATHER’S LOVE LETTER USED WITH PERMISSION OF FATHER HEART COMMUNICATIONS ©1999 FATHERSLOVELETTER.COM

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Membership Magazine of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing Want to receive FAITH Magazine? Visit FAITHPUB.COM Follow FAITH Pub The Way to Happiness Is Jesus Find out more at DIOCESEOFLANSING.ORG Find a Catholic Church at MASSTIMES.ORG Serving Ann Arbor, Flint, Jackson, Lansing And Clinton, Eaton, Genesee, Hillsdale, Ingham, Jackson, Lenawee, Livingston, Shiawassee and Washtenaw Counties