If not you soon will, this issue is packed with Christmas events to help get you in the mood, including tree decorating, carol services, ice skating, pantomimes and most important of all, where you will find Father Christmas in Cambridgeshire this year. We have also put together our usual Christmas Gift Guide on page 14 to help inspire you and the children this year.
Children need our unconditional love - whether they succeed or make mistakes; when life is easy and when life is tough. Barack Obama
This festive season, Cambridge Corn Exchange will once again play host to spectacular presentations of two of the world’s most popular classical ballets, Swan Lake and The Nutcracker, each accompanied by a live orchestra to complete the experience.
The Nutcracker is a feast for the senses; the enchanting tale of Clara’s adventures with her Nutcracker Prince, full of magic and wonder for audiences of all ages. This season the ballets will be presented by The International Classic Ballet Theatre.
Performances of The Nutcracker are from Wed 28 - Fri 30 Dec, while Swan Lake is presented on Sat 3 Dec and Sun 1 Jan.
We’re offering the chance for one lucky reader to win a family ticket (4 seats, valued more than £150) to The Nutcracker on Wed 28 December at 7pm. To enter please visit our Facebook page @FamCambsMag and like and share our post. Good luck!
EDITOR: Lisa Exell 01945 861336, editor@familiesCambridgeshire.co.uk
ASSISTANT EDITOR: Amanda Dawson, admin@familiescambridgeshire.co.uk
SOCIAL MEDIA: Amanda Dawson, admin@familiescambridgeshire.co.uk
DESIGN: Caroline Thompson-Heap, info@cheekymonkeydesigns.net
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Anti-Bullying Week runs from 14th to 18th November this year, with the theme ‘Reach Out.’
The week will kick off with Odd Socks Day on Monday 14th November, during which adults and children wear odd socks to celebrate what makes us all unique.
The theme of ‘Reach Out’ is about empowering children to do something positive to counter the harm and hurt that bullying causes.
Whether it’s in school, at home, in the community or online, let’s reach out and offer support to each other. Reach out to someone you trust if you need to talk. Reach out to someone you think is being bullied. Reach out and consider a new approach. To get involved,visit www.anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk
Christmas won’t be magical for every child. It can be a difficult time of year for children in care who may be spending their first festive season away from their family; for households facing economic hardship, buying presents will once again put additional pressure on parents.
Reading brings children profound and wide-ranging benefits that can have a lifelong impact on their lives, positively affecting their health, wellbeing and academic and social development. Just one book can brighten a vulnerable child’s Christmas.
Last year sixteen thousand books were given to children in need and the BookTrust is aiming to match this figure in 2022, giving recipients access to the world of imagination, creativity and possibilities that books can provide. A £10 donation to BookTrust will help fund a surprise book gift for a vulnerable child and support BookTrust’s work during the year. Find out more and donate at www.booktrust.org.uk/xmas
The government has announced a renewed focus on maximising children’s time in the classroom, as evidence shows that students with highest attendance throughout their time in school gain the best GCSE and A level results.
Aimed at tackling the factors behind non-attendance such as bullying or mental health, a new 1-2-1 attendance mentoring scheme has been launched in Middlesborough, before expanding to other areas of the country. The pilot will provide tailored support to over 1,600 persistently and severely absent pupils over the next three years.
Schools will also have access to a powerful new attendance data visualisation tool to help to spot and respond to issues. This data is supporting the launch of the new, interactive national attendance dashboard alongside the publication of the first full fortnightly attendance data.
All children love to receive a letter addressed to them in the post. And what could be more special than a letter from Santa? Here are two ways of making this happen.
Royal Mail Letter to Santa
For children to receive a FREE letter from Santa via the Royal Mail, children must post their letter to Santa in an envelope with either a first or second class stamp and addressed to Santa/Father Christmas, Santa’s Grotto, Reindeerland, XM4 5HQ. The letter must include your child’s full name and address.
Check the deadline for posting the letter to Santa at www.royalmail.com/ christmas/letters-to-santa NSPCC Santa Letter
Children can also receive a personalised reply from Santa via his elves at the NSPCC in exchange for a donation to the charity. The letter is ordered online. Check the deadline at https://letterfromsanta.nspcc.org.uk
National Tree Week is the UK’s largest annual tree celebration and will run from Saturday 26th November to Sunday 3rd December.
Across the country, people will be planting thousands of trees to mark the start of the winter tree planting season.
Trees and hedgerows are some of the most powerful tools we have in the fight against climate change. And the good news is that we can all make a difference by planting a tree. Whether you plant a tree in a pot on your doorstep, a hedge in your garden or organise a community event at a local park, every tree will help us grow a greener future together.
Around the country, volunteer Tree Wardens and other champions of local trees will be holding tree planting events throughout the winter planting season.
To find a local tree planting event www.treecouncil.org.uk
Children’s piggy banks are paying a price for the cost-of-living crisis after almost a third of parents cut back on pocket money during the last year.
The average amount that is going into the pockets of under 16s each week has dropped by 23% to £4.99 this year from £6.48 in 2021, according to research from the lender Halifax –the lowest amount since 2001.
Despite a worsening economic climate, half of British parents said they were willing to sacrifice their own spending to maintain their children’s weekly funds including reducing leisure costs such as eating out as well as ‘treats’ such as designer items.
The most popular purchases using pocket money remain gaming and sweets, according to parents’ votes. Toys follow closely, as well as clothing, then hobbies such as books.
The government has published its latest statistics for Tax-Free Childcare showing that half of all open accounts are not even used.
Whilst the new HMRC figures show more families opening accounts than previously, only fifty percent of open accounts are being used which means that thousands of families and children are missing out on money earmarked for childcare support.
In addition, recent HMRC research estimates that less than half of eligible families are opening an account to claim the support.
For every £8 paid into a Tax-Free Childcare online account, families automatically receive an additional £2 in government top-up - up to £500 every three months or £1,000 if their child is disabled.
To register, search Tax-Free Childcare on GOV.UK.
Recently the girls in Year 5 met Sarah, the school's gardener, to look through their plans for a St Mary’s Reflection Garden.
The girls came up with designs for a ‘Mary Garden’ in their RE lessons in the Summer term when they were in Year 4. Sarah has taken their ideas and planned a garden which encompasses all the main points they came up with. It will have a seating area for quiet reflection, homes for wildlife, as well as plants that are attributed to Mary.
All the Year 5 girls loved the plans and are very keen to help with the construction and planting which should begin shortly.
The theme of this year’s Road Safety Week, the UK’s biggest annual road safety campaign, is ‘Safe Roads for All.’
This year’s campaign takes place between 14th and 20th November and brings together communities and professionals to speak up for everyone’s right to make safe and healthy journeys on our roads.
The 2022 campaign will raise awareness of key areas of road safety, including safe vehicles and speeds, the recent update to the Highway Code and the new hierarchy of road users, plus the importance of inclusivity to keep us all safe on the roads, no matter who we are or how we travel.
To sign up to Road Safety Week, register at www.roadsafetyweek.org.uk
Hair loss is an extremely complex issue that affects most men and women at some point in their lifetime. Dermoi’s Chief Scientific Officer, Even Casha, MSc in Pharmaceutical Formulation breakdowns hair loss & why supplements have become a popular and effective solution.
All hair grows from a mini organ present in the skin of the scalp called the hair follicle. Within the hair follicle, hair growth follows a regular cycle.
The growth phase (anagen) occurs when new hair is created from the follicle (lasts 2-6 years), this is followed by a transitional phase (catagen) that lasts 1-2 weeks, and the resting phase (telogen) where the hair is lost (3-4 months).
Different hair follicles tend not to cycle together to ensure an even population of hair on the scalp.
Hair loss is a very complex issue that is influenced by many factors. Factors such as genetics, hormones, nutrition and stress, have direct links with the hair follicle and hair loss. More recent studies suggest that COVID might also be causing hair loss.
Hair supplements often contain key nutrients and compounds called adaptogens. These compounds lower cortisol levels and help reduce stress on the body. They also contain compounds such as vitex angus-cactus or reishi mushroom, as they can balance androgen levels and improve hair loss. Hairology by Vida Glow is an example of a multi-tasking supplement for hair loss.
Cambridge International School are a thriving international school for 2 – 11 year olds and a welcoming community of children, parents and staff from the local area and overseas. They focus on pupil well-being and ensure that the children are learning in an unpressurised environment with a focus on them becoming confident, happy, resilient individuals.
With small class sizes (maximum of 16) and experience in teaching children from different language and cultural backgrounds, each child has individualised targets to ensure that they are learning, aspiring and fulfilling their own academic potential.
Cambridge International School makes full use of their surrounding environment in Cherry Hinton Park and put an emphasis on learning through being in the outdoors. They are also pioneering innovative approaches and are accepting students who would like to learn with them on a flexible basis.
For further information please contact Admissions@cischool.co.uk
An easy and quick guide for women on healthy eating and vitamin supplements in pregnancy has been published by the Royal College of Midwives (RCM) and the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG).
The guide explains the benefits of healthy eating for women and their babies. It also addresses the myths around what you should and shouldn’t eat when pregnant, with clear information explaining what a healthy diet in pregnancy looks like and the importance of being a healthy weight in pregnancy.
Being overweight can be associated with a higher chance of pregnancy complications and the myth about ‘having to eat for two’ when pregnant is debunked in the leaflet which also covers why dieting in pregnancy is not recommended.
To view and download, visit www.bit.ly/ FoodGuidePregnancy
There’s truly no place like close according to Infantino so it’s no wonder the trusted nursery brand has created three new carriers for the season ahead… promising 24/7 happy, hands-free, parenting and lots of cosy cuddles this Autumn.
Introducing the Staycool™ 4-In-1 Convertible Carrier with future-fabric that’s proven to regulate body temperature, and the pull-on, wrap-inspired Hug & Cuddle Adjustable Hybrid Wrap Carrier. The huggable carrier offers a simple and easy all-in-one design that doesn’t require any complicated wrapping, folding, tucking, or tying.
Last but not least is the brand-new colour in the already popular light and compact Grey Swift™ Classic Carrier. Now available in a sleek Grey option, the new Swift still boasts the smart and simple design it’s known for; perfect for quick trips and on-the-go families. Staycool™ 4-In-1 Convertible Carrier | RRP: 59.99 | Stockist: Babies R Us Hug & Cuddle Adjustable Hybrid Wrap Carrier | RRP: 69.99 | Stockist : Amazon UK Swift Carrier | RRP: 24.99 | Stockist: Amazon UK
Low humidity levels can negatively impact a home, your health, and your loved ones. With the colder seasons coming, get instant relief from cold and flu symptoms, while welcoming wellness to the entire family.
Cheeky Rascals is delighted to unveil the brand-new Crane Drop 2.0 4-in-1 Humidifier with Sound Machine.
Set to revolutionise the home environment, the thoughtfully designed humidifier safely releases moisture into the air, promising to bring wellness, and much more, to the entire family. Super stylish and easy to clean, the whisper quiet 4-in-1 humidifier features an ultrasonic cooling mist, 3 soothing sounds, an aroma tray to enhance relaxation and an optional nightlight.
RRP £110.00 www.cheekyrascals.co.uk/
A team of Australian researchers has identified a biochemical marker in the blood that could help identify newborn babies at risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), a breakthrough that they said creates an avenue to future tragedy-preventing interventions.
The researchers found that babies who died of SIDS had lower levels of the enzyme butyrylcholinesterase (BChE) shortly after birth which plays a major role in helping babies to wake up during the night if their breathing is interrupted.
This is the first evidence ‘that babies who succumb to SIDS are different from birth,’reports study leader, Carmel Harrington of the Children’s Hospital at Westmead.
The enzyme abnormality is ‘a measurable, specific vulnerability’ to SIDS that had not been previously recognised, the study reported. Further research needs to be undertaken to determine whether routine measurement of BChE could help prevent future SIDS deaths.
More info: https://bit.ly/SIDSresearch
Things to do, places to go and fun to be had for kids of all ages in
WHEN: 20th November, 11.30 and 14.30
WHERE: Cambridge Junction Imagine waking up to find a turtle bathing in your bathtub, an orangutan bouncing on your bed and a jaguar creeping through your kitchen! But how did they all get here? And why on earth are they all so far from home? From £6.00 www.junction.co.uk 01223 511511
WHEN: 25th November - 1st January
WHERE: Wimpole Estate
By day, Christmas decorations deck the halls in the house and the estate is filled with the sounds, sights and smells of the festive season. By night, lights and seasonal sounds will fill the air with festive fun. www.nationaltrust.org.uk/wimpole-estate
WHEN: 27th November, 10.00
WHEN: Every Thursday 10.15am
WHERE: Lady Chapel, Ely Cathedral
A weekly service during term time for under 5s and their parents and carers. Stories, silly songs and a good wiggle. Join the ‘Story and Song Time’ team as they share stories, have a dance and share time with God. A short service of about 30 minutes followed by refreshments and a craft FREE www.elycathedral.org/events
WHEN: 5th November 10.00 – 13.00
WHERE: Cambridge University Botanic Garden
Choose from a selection of the most amazing autumn leaves and treasures to create your own glowing luminary. Take it home with you to light up the dark autumn nights. Ages 3+ Adults from £6.30. Children under 16 years free. www.botanic.cam.ac.uk
WHEN: 20th November WHERE: Market Square, Cambridge
Expect a lively lineup from local performing arts clubs and choirs and Cambridge United and the Mayor of the City of Cambridge to help switch on the lights. www.cambridgebid.co.uk/ christmas-lights-switch-on
Wild Babies at Paxton Pits
WHEN: 21st November 9.45 - 11.30
WHERE: Paxton Pits Education Centre Take your pre-walking aged baby along in a buggy, pram or sling for a gentle relaxing stroll with plenty of chance to chat to other ‘wild baby’ parents and carers! www.wildlifebcn.org/events
WHERE: Anywhere & everywhere Don a Santa hat, limber up and raise funds for Hospice care by taking part in Arthur Rank Hospice Charity’s Festive 5K by running a route of your choice! Whether you sprint it or stroll it or somewhere-in-between it – this event is for everyone! Adults £15; Under 16 £10
Under 10’s FREE www.arhc.org. uk/fundraising
WHEN: 3rd December 10.00 - 13.00
WHERE: Cambridge University Botanic Garden
Join this festive family drop-in as you get in the Christmas mood by making decorations using natural materials from the Botanic Garden. Ages 3+ Adults from £6.30. Children under 16 years free. www.botanic.cam.ac.uk
WHEN: 7th – 31st December
WHERE: King’s Lynn Corn Exchange
WHEN: 17th - 19th November
WHERE: Ely Cathedral
Discover perfect presents from over a hundred boutique stalls and designers all located in the Cathedral’s magnificent nave and Lady Chapel. The grounds surrounding the Cathedral will once again be incorporated into the Christmas Fair experience. £5 (under 16 free when accompanied by an adult) www.elycathedral.org/events
Cambourne
Christmas
Join KL Corn Exchange this festive season for a truly WICKED panto! Journey to meet Dame Dotty, Herbie Vore the (vegetarian) Huntsman and the magnificent seven on a magical adventure for the whole family! From £17.00 www.kingslynncornexchange. co.uk/
WHEN: 2nd December 15.00 – 19.00
WHERE: The Wildlife Trust BCN HQ, Great Cambourne CHRISTMAS FAIR 2022 - YES, It’s the return of the Christmas Fair at the Manor House, Cambourne. Head along and enjoy a festive afternoon! www.wildlifebcn.org/events
WHEN: 7th – 31st December WHERE: Cambridge Junction
This exciting, all-inclusive show takes inspiration from the original story from 1816 and cranks it up to 2022! Experience a high energy celebration with giant sweets, dancing nutcrackers and singing mice. This fun-filled Christmas extravaganza will leave you feeling full of holiday cheer. From £18.00 www.junction.co.uk 01223 511511
Great Fen Wildlife Watch - Winter Warmers
WHEN: 10th December 10.00 – 12.30
WHERE: Great Fen Countryside Centre, Ramsey Heights
Join the group throughout the year to learn about the local wildlife, take action to help them and try out new nature-based experiences! www.wildlifebcn.org/events
Swan Lake
WHEN: 31st December - 1st January
WHERE: Cambridge Corn Exchange
The story of Prince Siegfried and the Swan Princess is a tragic tale of betrayal and a love that triumphs over evil. The world’s most romantic ballet is magnificently brought to life by Tchaikovsky’s sublime and haunting score. From £19.00 www.cambridgelive.org.uk 01223 357851
Cinderella
WHEN: 9th December - 2nd January
WHERE: The Maltings, Ely Cinderella longs for a more happy and exciting life away from her wicked Stepsisters. Thankfully, she has her loveable companion, Buttons, there to look after her. Can the Fairy Godmother help Cinderella get to the Ball? With the help of some mice and a pumpkin – anything is possible!
From £15.00 kdtheatre.co.uk/
WHERE: Thursford, Norfolk
WHEN: From 26th November to 23rd December
Your journey takes you from penguins and polar bears to giant sized teddy bears ready to load Santa’s sleigh and then past the busy elves hard at work in the toy factory with the wonderful wrapping machine, and finally meeting Santa in his grotto. Child £20.00 www.thursford.com
WHERE: Nene Valley – Wansford
WHEN: 26th November to 23rd December
Start your experience with a visit to Santa in his grotto before jumping on board the Classic Santa Express Services, where you will be seated at your reserved table in a cosy steam-heated, upholstered British coach.
Prices from £55 for two people nvr.org.uk
WHEN: 28th - 30th December
WHERE: Cambridge Corn Exchange
The timeless story of Clara, who is whisked away on an enchanting adventure by her Nutcracker Prince, is the perfect introduction to classical ballet. Full of magical effects, the ballet is set to the captivating and instantly recognisable Tchaikovsky score. From £19.00 www.cambridgelive.org.uk
WHERE: Sheringham
WHEN: 26th November to 23rd December Climb aboard a traditional steam-hauled train non-stop from Sheringham up the whole length of the line to Holt, before travelling back to Weybourne where you will make your way through an enchanted Christmas Tree Kingdom before meeting Santa and receiving a special gift. From £22.00 www.nnrailway.co.uk/santa-specials-2022
WHERE: Stow Bardolph, Nr Downham Market
WHEN: 1st to 23rd December
All Father Christmas tickets include entrance to the Farm as well as visiting Father Christmas, so you can stay all day and enjoy the play areas, animal encounters, undercover petting pens, Christmas shopping and market and lots more. Children from £13.50.
www.churchfarmstowbardolph.co.uk 01366 382162
WHERE: Wicken Fen, Ely
WHEN: Selected dates from 3rd December Join the elves to make a decoration, and collect a Christmas craft pack for taking home, before popping into Fen Cottage where Father Christmas will be warming his toes by the fire and have a present for you! Child £12.00 01353 720274 www.nationaltrust.org.uk/wicken-fen
Phonics is one of those things that feels like a secret club - some people understand it and to others it’s gobbledegook! If you have a child at school, they’re part of ‘the club’ and they may look askance at you when you ask what a digraph or blending is. For you and anyone who has a child due to start school, here are some tips to get you closer to full admittance of the phonics club!
Phonics is a way of teaching children to read and later write. It is based on the fact that letters and groups of letters make sounds and when we put those sounds together they make words. English is a tricky language and sometimes the same letters make different sounds. For example, ‘i’ can sound short as in ‘fish’ or have a longer sound like ‘eye’ in ‘find’. There are different groups of letters that make sounds: a digraph is two letters that go together to make one sound e.g. ‘ch’ in chop. A trigraph is three letters together making one sound e.g. ‘ear’ in ‘near’. As children develop their knowledge, they build up and put together all of the sounds they recognise in order to read and write.
• Practise recognising the sounds.
• Help children to spot when two or three letters work together to make one sound e.g ‘ai’ in ‘rain’ and ‘igh’ in ‘light’.
• Your child will be taught Phonics in a specific way at school so ask them to teach you. It’s a great way for them to test their understanding.
• Read, read, read!
• Practise blending - this can be the key to unlock entry to ‘the club!’
• If you’re stuck or worried, ask your child’s school for help. Supporting children learning to read can be as frustrating as it is magical.
• I hope these tips help you joining the Phonics Club!
By Emma LewryOnce children have learned the separate sounds, they then have to ‘blend’ them together to make the full word. For example, they hear or read ‘c’, ‘a’, ‘t’ and need to put the sounds together to make ‘cat.’This skill can be a real stumbling block for children because they are working so hard to recognise the sounds that they can’t put them together easily.
Oral blending is the skill to practise here. Oral blending means hearing separate sounds and putting them together without reading the letters too. It’s really helpful to practise lots of oral blending with your children from as young as the age of 2.
For example, say separate sounds, a bit like a robot, and get your child to blend them together to make the word. You can do this in sentences e.g. put on your ‘c’, ‘oa’, ‘t’ or let’s go to the ‘p’, ‘ar’, ‘k’. Make it playful and use the approach in games. For instance, try I spy with whole words split up.
Emma Lewry is an Early Years teacher, headteacher and mother of two. Emma co-owns Every Day’s a School Day (www.edasd.co.uk) which guides families through starting school with courses, groups and a school starters planner.
If the thought of supporting your child with phonics fills you with dread, never fear! There is one simple thing you can do which will help them beyond your expectations: reading! Reading to and with your child is the single most impactful thing you can do to help their reading, writing and language skills to develop. By being read to, children hear new words, learn the flow of language and develop their understanding of grammar.
Read as often as you can, whether it’s stories, poems, cookery books, magazines - anything you have or see! Allow your child to ask questions and talk about what they understand along the way.
Think about reading as sharing a book with your child rather than them always sitting quietly and listening. By talking about the words and language and explaining meaning, children learn and understand more. As children develop in their phonics ability you will find they want to help you read and you can work together to read a text.
Sadly, many children experience bullying at school at some point. It can be incredibly worrying for parents but help is at hand. There are lots of brilliant books out there which can help children open up about bullying and cope with the emotions or anxiety they may be feeling. For Anti-Bullying Week in November, Families asked children’s book expert, Georgina Atwell, to recommend six great books to help.
One day, Elmer notices that there are no birds around. How strange! Soon he finds them hiding from the nasty bully bird in a nearby cave. The bully bird is mean and likes to frighten the little birds. Elmer comes up with a plan for the animals to work together to frighten off the bully - and they succeed! A beautifully illustrated book about community, this is ideal for younger children ages 5 to 6.
Max is about to face the scariest place he's ever been: South Ridge Middle School! He’s been begging his parents to let him attend a real school after being home-schooled by his grandmother. He's starting to question that choice, though, with the Doug (aka Thug) Thurston Problem. Thug keeps stuffing Max in his locker. If only Max could be like the hero in all the comics he likes to read and magically escape the locker and defeat Thug..From the number one New York Times bestselling author of Dork Diaries comes a delightful new series introducing Max Crumbly, the new Dork on the block! Perfect for older children ages 8 to 11.
You don't have to ROAR to be heard! Meet Leonard, a lion like no other. Leonard's best friend is Marianne, a duck. But lions chomp ducks, don't they? What will the pair do when their way of life is threatened? From the New York Timesbestselling author of Max the Brave comes a powerful story celebrating daydreamers, individuality, and the quiet courage to be yourself. A witty picture book that can be enjoyed by children ages 2 to 7 (and adults everywhere!).
Despite his mum's insistence, Sam doesn't want to be friends with Davey; he thinks Davey is a first class, grade A, top-of-the-dung-heap moron. But one day Davey saves Sam's life and a bond is formed between them. Sam is still embarrassed to be seen with Davey but little by little he must admit, when it's just the two of them, Davey is a lot of fun. But then something terrible happens to Davey...
Told in verse, in first person, this is the touching story of an extraordinary friendship that changes two boys’ lives for ever. An uplifting tale that truly sings out. Perfect for ages 8 to 9.
Born with a terrible facial abnormality, Auggie has been home-schooled by his parents his whole life. Now, for the first time, he's being sent to a real school - and he's dreading it. All he wants is to be accepted but can he convince his new classmates that he's just like them, underneath it all?
Wonder is also an Oscar-nominated film starring Julia Roberts, Owen Wilson and Jacob Tremblay. It is funny, frank and astonishingly moving, your kids will remember it long after the final page.
Lily is mercilessly bullied at school so one day her Dad introduces her to boxing. Through it, she finds her own worth. It is a challenge that helps her face her fears and fight back against the bullies. This is a page-turning story of hope and resilience. It is about breaking through even the most difficult situations. This awardnominated book is perfect for early teen readers.
Perhaps your mental image of a bully is someone who pushes your child over in the playground or steals their money or their lunch? Or maybe you picture your child hunched over their phone or device being pursued by bullies online?
These forms of bullying are easy to recognise, although, of course, not always easy to deal with. But what about more subtle types of bullying like baiting and false friendships? How do you recognise these and are they actually bullying?
As we head towards Anti-Bullying Week which starts on 14th November, Families asked the Anti-Bullying Alliance, part of the National Children’s Bureau, to share its tips and advice.
To ‘bait’ someone is to intentionally make a person angry by saying or doing things to annoy them. Baiting can be used in bullying both on and offline and is aimed at getting ‘a rise’ out of them. It can even be used to encourage someone to become a bully. It can also sometimes be used secretively to try and get a person to explode in a rage or react negatively so that they get in to trouble.
If your child is being baited, here’s what to advise them:
• Don’t take the bait!
• Don’t argue with a person or appeal to their sense of reason or logic while they are baiting you. They want you to rise to it.
• Don’t retaliate and fall into a trap.
• Learn to recognise baiting for what it is. If your child knows what the bully is trying to do it is easier to understand it.
• Remind your child that the bait often has nothing to do with what the other person really wants.
• Explain that what the person is feeling is temporary and they will probably feel different in a few days or a few hours.
• Talk to an adult you trust such as a teacher or parent and explain what the bully is doing and why you think they are doing it.
• If your child is falsely accused of something, they or you should politely, briefly and calmly state the truth, one time only.
• Advise your child to remove themselves from the situation calmly. End the conversation and exit the space.
• Get support. You or your child should describe what has happened to you so you or their teacher, who will help them come up with a reasoned, effective plan of how to deal with it.
These describe relationships where someone pretends to be your child’s friend but actually uses their power to bully them.
Sometimes bullying isn’t as straight forward as someone openly being horrible to another person. It can be much more complicated than that. False friendships can sometimes be hard for adults to identify, so imagine how difficult they are for children!
In a 2016 survey, Bullying UK found that:
• 73% of children and young people had seen social bullying taking place.
• 55% of children and young people had experienced social bullying.
Talk to your child about what it is to be a good friend. For example, a good friend is kind and makes them feel good about themselves. This will help to highlight where there may be false friendships.
Talk to your child about the difference between banter and bullying. Banter is playful and both parties find it funny. Bullying is repetitive and hurtful. It also involves a power imbalance. Tell them that if someone constantly puts them down, they are not a real friend and not worth their time.
Speak to your child’s teacher with your child. Ask them their perspective. Does your teacher fully understand the friendship dynamic?
Don’t encourage your child to retaliate as this might get them into trouble themselves or put them in a dangerous position.
Some children are more likely to have false friendships, for example disabled children. It is especially important that disabled children understand what makes a good friend.
If your child doesn’t have many other friends, you could encourage them to get involved in extra-curricular activities or activities outside of school, so that they might be able to develop other friendships and improve their confidence.
If your child is being bullied by someone who they thought was their friend, this can be especially hurtful. Make sure you praise them for telling you and agree a way forward together. Tell them it is not their fault.
With thanks to the Anti-Bullying Alliance for this article.
For more information about Anti-Bullying Week, visit www.anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk
