Family Care Issue 44

WITH CARERS NZ | ISSUE 44

just for you!

NEW ZEALAND

Help others, help yourself

Roll with it!

Let go

COVID-19 CARER UPDATES

Stay prepared Latest MoH information New from wecare.kiwi!

YOUR WELLBEING You're not a machine BREATHE! For good health CAREWISE Friendly employers HAMSTER ALERT Leadership needed SHINGLES Protect yourself!

GIFTS GALORE BE IN TO WIN!

Plus...

books, learning, care to cook, gardening, useful things, reader stories, gifts + more!

SHARE!

Pandemic memories

HEALTHY Heart friendly recipes

Carers NZ provides support and advocacy for anyone caring for friends or family members. All of our services and information are free to carers and those who support them. Please help to keep our 0800 helpline, email hotline, web and printed resources, and other services available to New Zealand’s carers at no cost. Thank you for helping us care for family carers.

Your Details Name ______________________________________________________ Email _______________________________________________________ Physical Address ___________________________________________________________________________ Phone _______________________ Postal Address (If Different) _________________________________________________________________ Mobile Phone _________________ Town/City ______________________________ Post Code ______________________________

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Please scan and email your completed form to centre@carers.net.nz or post it to Carers NZ, Freepost # 256234, PO Box 47-385, Ponsonby Auckland 1144 (no stamp required).

0800 777 797 l www.carers.net.nz l centre@carers.net.nz

feature

31

37

this time features

33 Reader Gifts!

One entry, all draws

Complete and return our easy entry form and you will be entered into every reader gift draw!

One entry per person please.

Just return your form to us and you’re in to win!

SEE OUR GIFT ENTRY FORM ON PAGE 8

One Entry for All Gift Draws!

Just complete and return this form and you will be entered into every draw from our latest issue! One entry per person please.

We'd love to know more about what you like. Please tell us about yourself (tick any that apply)!    

I am a family carer for another/others I am a 'self carer' managing my own health and disability needs I care for a child or young person with a disability I have (or assist someone who has) these conditions or health issues:

_______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ I work in health and disability   I work for a community organisation  I share my magazine with others (if so, how many others see your copy of Family Care: _________ )

09 14 18 24 26 31 33 35

Journal

regulars

Pandemic memories

Wellbeing Self-care inspiration

Roll with It! Let go Chapter One Author Laura Bradbury We're not machines At risk of burnout?

Hamster alert Time for action

7

13 16

37

40

42

Your Say Letters

Books, Music, Film

Watch, listen, read, learn

Useful Things

Aids, equipment, fun stuff!

Recipes

Heart healthy fare

CareWise

Friendly workplaces

Government Update

Latest COVID-19 advice

Purposeful breathing 47 Getting Help

Directory for tough times Reduce anxiety Shingles All you need to know

Information and planning

Congratulations on a vital resource you have provided for so many years. I have benefited from your magazine since the beginning.

When my son was young – he is now 38 – I used to long for some sort of summary of all the things we needed to know to survive this different life we were expecting.

During my son's school years I was involved in mainstreaming and supporting other families.

One of our best tools was information sharing and knowing other families where the things we experienced were their normal too.

We always experienced a full and often very interesting life. Now I am in my retirement years and still providing a family home and most of James’s care, we are of course organising and planning new phases of life and I have come across what I call ‘the market’ approach. All the agencies and service providers now have to compete for their clients – plus information sharing is definitely hard to find. I miss my umbrella structure we had with CCS. I know choice is good but I see so much choice, with everyone set up with an office, cars, staff, computers there is nothing left to resource clients.

What I would like to finish with is that your magazine fills a vital role. I know there are miles and miles and miles of online information but unless you are confident in computer use it can be very daunting. So keep up the good work.

14

GLENIS AND JAMES HARKE, NGARUAWAHIA

I would most like to win these reader gifts: 1. _____________________________________________________ 2. _____________________________________________________ 3. _____________________________________________________ Name ___________________________________________ Physical Address __________________________________

www.carers.net.nz

________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Mailing Address (if different) ________________________

________________________________________________

FamilyCARE 3

Coping with bladder and bowel issues?

We’re here for you.

Our helpline is available Monday to Friday 0800 650 659 For more information and our latest video, go to continence.org.nz

Our expert Janet Thackray answers your calls from 9am to 5pm Mondays and Tuesdays, and from 9am to 1pm on Wednesdays.

Whether you are caring for someone with incontinence in these trying times, or your own symptoms have been worsened by stress and anxiety about COVID-19, we can help.

Continence issues can easily slip to the bottom of the heap when you are dealing with so many other worries.

Please give our friendly nurse Janet a call. She can help with advice about accessing product, steps you can take from home to help your symptoms and how you can get further support if you need it.

Call us on 0800 650 659 You can also email info@continence.org.nz with any questions you may have.

We look forward to hearing from you. We’re in this together.

Continence NZ is proudly supported by:

reflections

Time out This picture of the pink tray reminds me of everything I didn't do in 2020. It was a busy year alright, but not a great one for self-care; I bet the same is true for you. We are at a surreal point in New Zealand's pandemic journey - able to do most things without much fear of catching the virus, but still scanning the Covid app or signing in wherever we go, wearing masks in Ubers, and maintaining emergency supplies (just in case). Let's hope New Zealand continues like this until the vaccine(s) are here. We are advocating for early vaccines not just for the vulnerable but for families and whÄ nau in primary care roles. Many of my family who live overseas have now had COVID-19. It's hard to escape the virus in some countries. Here, we really are the lucky country, so let's keep it that way and do our part with the masks, the scanning, and following health advice. The Ministry of Health and Ministry of Social Development have provided updated information for carers, which you'll find at the back of the magazine. Have a look to stay up to date. It was interesting to hear from colleagues in other countries that thanks to the virus, the population of people in caring situations doubled in 2020. New Zealand has done lots of things right to keep the virus at bay, but one of its lessons is that we need to care better for family, whÄ nau, and aiga carers.

If services are disrupted (as they were here, too) ... if we need to hunker down to minimise outside contact again ... if sickness manages to reach homes on a mass scale ... then family caring is more important than ever. We have recommended that the Government take steps to improve information, awareness of, and supports for carers as the right thing to do, but also the sensible thing for pandemic preparedness. Everyone is tired after the anxious year behind us, so this is something to keep talking about going forward. Meanwhile, we can all do our part by thinking about what didn't work so well for us during the lockdown(s) of 2020, and doing what we can to stay prepared. It's also a good time to think about ourselves. How are you feeling? How can you restore areas of wellbeing that have taken a knock? I know I need some time out. My thinking ability is frayed so the picture of the pink tray spoke to me. Yes more walks, more time with family, more vitamins and healthy food.

But also time to flick the off switch and not think at all. To read a book. To have Zooms with loved ones I won't see for awhile. To hang out with my daughter, who will be leaving home in 2021 (that's a big one). To just be. I know that's really hard for many of you but activating the off switch is important for each of us. I hope you can find some special time with your switch in the off position, doing things you enjoy with people you care about - just being.

With warmest wishes until next time ...

Photo credits, shutterstock.com unless specified otherwise. p3: Heart Health Guide, Olesya Kutznetsova, Dean Bertoncelj, Photogal; p5: xamyak, Baloncici; p7: Sergey Kohl, MA8, Rook 76, Tobik; p8-9: Daboost, ESB Professional; p11: Peerastockfoto, dkHDvideo; p14: David Wingate, Photogal, Sofiananka, Vjom, Ramon Espelt Photography; p18-21: Benjavisa Ruangvarec Art, Seventy Four, Mila Supinkaya Glashchenko, Microgen; p25: VAKS; p26-30: VectorMine; p31: Olesya Kuznetsova; p33: Dean Bertoncelj; p36: Singjai Stocker; p37-39: Heart Health Guide

FamilyCARE Editor Laurie Hilsgen Contributors Laura Bradbury, Ursula Christel, Tricia Irving, Angelique Kasmara, Virginia Linton Advertising + Inquiries centre@carers.net.nz Phone (09) 360 7221 Publisher Family Care NZ PO Box 47385 Ponsonby, Auckland 1144 ISSN 1177-3340 Print 2230-4819 Digital Disclaimer Articles and opinions do not necessarily reflect the views of Carers NZ, Family Care, or advertisers.

Winners of our giveaways will receive their gifts within 6-8 weeks of each draw. By entering a reader gift draw your details may be provided to the supplier of that gift. If you do not want your details to be provided, note this on your entry form. Copyright is owned by the creators of images and graphics used in Family Care; see individual credits below.

Cover image MooTunPhotography, shutterstock.com Copyright Family Care. All rights reserved.

You'll find our entry form for all reader gifts on page 8!

Send us your email address so we can notify you of gift draws, news, and provide a link to read Family Care online!

Just complete our gift draw form on p8 and include your email address, or send your details to centre@carers.net.nz

FAMILY CARE FRIENDS

www.carers.net.nz

FamilyCARE 5

6 FamilyCARE

www.carers.net.nz

feedback

your say WE’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU!

Share your thoughts, or ask other readers for advice. Send your comments to info@carers.net.nz, or post them to PO Box 47-385, Ponsonby 1144.

Meal options

Your hassle free meals guide in the last issue was awesome as I have been trying to think about how to help my aging parents from afar with meal options that work for them.

We appreciated some of these suppliers ourselves during lockdown when we had to be extra cautious because of my husband’s vulnerability (just prior to the liver transplant he has now had). Thank you for all the amazing information and encouragement you provide.

CG

Caring changes

Recently my Mum moved into my small two bedroom unit. Lockdown was very hard because her cognitive ability is somewhat compromised from stress, trauma, and not eating properly. Since she has been living with me I have ensured she eats three meals a day and am trying to get her socially involved with friends. We have little to do with family and I basically carry the world on my shoulders. We recently had a medical certificate prepared through our doctor and are waiting to get the results so we can move forward with power of attorney and other paperwork. This is new territory for me, as my mother was always the strong capable one and now she mainly just reads.

It’s somewhat hard to deal with at times and I ask God for strength to bless my acts of love for Mum. I am trying to get her into an elderly care group held once a week in our town.

She has a dear friend who www.carers.net.nz

READER STORY

Quick cookies It's nice to have an easy no fuss recipe that isn't too sweet (as so many no-cook condensed milk recipes are).

When ability and energy are in short supply, shortcuts to do things are fantastic.

I look forward to the day when I can make this with grandkids even though the oldest is only 18 months old.

Thank you for a fabulous practical magazine full of resources of where to go and services available.

CAROL DALEY

Last Minute NO BAKE Cookies

¾ cup sugar 3½ oz shredded coconut 2 slightly beaten eggs 2 cups crushed cornflakes

attends and they’re a lovely bunch. Also we have been looking at accommodation options for Mum such as buying a house, a unit or a rest home villa. It has been interesting doing the sums and researching her choices.

My reason for writing is to ask if you could please send me your magazine. I struggle with the realities of anxiety, Mum’s

1½ cups chopped dates 2 tsp grated lemon peel ½ cup walnuts 1 tsp lemon juice Butter sides and bottom of a heavy frying pan.

Gently stir together eggs, sugar, dates, nuts, and lemon juice and cook over low heat for 10 minutes.

health, her two large storage units and her son, who has stolen a substantial amount of money from her. We have a lawyer and accountant who are trying to sort out her financial mess. I’m sure it will all work out, but would appreciate some extra support and advice about what help is available for Mum and for me.

Stir constantly, but don’t beat.

Remove from stove and blend in lemon peel and crushed cornflakes.

Drop by tablespoons into a bowl of coconut.

Shape into balls and coat all surfaces with coconut.

Should make 30 cookies.

Thank you Elaine, we will send you each new edition of Family Care and wish you all the best in your journey with your Mum. For specific advice about available help in your area, call Carers NZ during business hours on 0800 777 797 or email centre@carers.net.nz

ELAINE

Share your stories and advice with other readers!

We’ll send a surprise gift for every letter we publish.

Email your letters to info@carers.net.nz or post them to PO Box 47385, Ponsonby, Auckland 1144.

FamilyCARE 7

One Entry for All Gift Draws!

Just complete and return this form and you will be entered into every draw from our latest issue! One entry per person please.

We'd love to know more about what you like. Please tell us about yourself (tick any that apply)!  

I am a family carer for another/others I am a 'self carer' managing my own health and disability needs  I care for a child or young person with a disability  I have (or assist someone who has) these conditions or health issues: _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ I work in health and disability  I  work for a community organisation  I share my magazine with others (if so, how many

others see your copy of Family Care: _________ )

Information and planning

Congratulations on a vital resource you have provided for so many years. I have benefited from your magazine since the beginning.

When my son was young – he is now 38 – I used to long for some sort of summary of all the things we needed to know to survive this different life we were expecting.

During my son's school years I was involved in mainstreaming and supporting other families.

One of our best tools was information sharing and knowing other families where the things we experienced were their normal too.

We always experienced a full and often very interesting life. Now I am in my retirement years and still providing a family home and most of James’s care. We are of course organising and planning this new phase of life and I have come across what I call ‘the market’ approach.

All the agencies and service providers now have to compete for their clients – plus information sharing is definitely hard to find.

I miss my umbrella structure we had with CCS. I know choice is good but I see so much choice, with everyone set up with an office, cars, staff, computers there is little left to resource clients.

What I would like to finish with is that your magazine fills a vital role. I know there are miles and miles and miles of online information but unless you are confident in computer use it can be very daunting. So keep up the good work.

GLENIS AND JAMES HARKE, NGARUAWAHIA

I would most like to win these reader gifts: 1. _____________________________________________________ 2. _____________________________________________________ 3. _____________________________________________________ Name ___________________________________________ Physical Address __________________________________

________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Mailing Address (if different)_________________________

________________________________________________ ____________________________ Post Code___________

Update your details! Every form with an email address will go in the draw for a mystery prize.

Email* ___________________________________________ Mobile___________________Phone___________________ * Please provide this information if you would like to receive our e-zines, bulletins, offers, and other online resources.

Email to supportteam@carers.net.nz or post to PO Box 47385, Ponsonby, Auckland 1144

8 FamilyCARE

www.carers.net.nz

feedback

Capturing COVID memories

thoughts about our You asked for our experiences and been adding to my time of COVID-19 lockdown. I have lockdown time on my journal for many years now, but with ed to make the days hands added so much more. It help I have not yet shown go quickly with hardly a dull moment! n they discover it they my folder to my family. I hope whe g it. Congratulations will enjoy it as much as I did compilin and resourceful. for a great magazine. It is so useful

D

MRS JOAN LEONARD, AUCKLAN

My Lockdown Days

g your earliest Don’t delay writing down or recordin your early life to your ut abo memories. What you have said ly lost. easi is grandchildren while they grow up d not knowing ette regr ys When my parents died, I alwa much about their early life. n, so my family will I decided I’d write a few things dow s old now. year 95 know a little about my life. I am a ‘few snippets’. rd reco I started off with a notebook to full of incidents med cram I now have a 2 ½ inch folder joined the not have I and memories, all handwritten as internet world. and when I think of I keep a notebook close at hand, I jot it down. ent, something, maybe a long ago incid

as my fingers.

This keeps my brain active as well body. and mind for utic Writing is so therape So start writing! will your You’ll do it because you enjoy it. So know to t wan they if lts, grandchildren. As adu (said to be you ask to late' 'too something, it may be e). uag lang lish Eng the the saddest phrase in est and liveliest: Earliest memories seem to be fresh your parents with living g youn life when you were very t fun! The WW2 and family. The school days – wha w much about kno not do now days. Lots of children in, and what their the War their grandfathers fought t. effor war the grandmothers did for perhaps be to lives our We are too busy living vital stuff may slip of lots so , ories capturing these mem dump e.g. photos through the cracks or end up in the and were never of cousins that went off to Australia was never seen in heard of again. An uncle James who gs. The games you any of the family photos. Family outin played. be enjoyed by my I’m hoping my 'family journal' will happenings of long family to bring to life for them the ago. sure!

Don't delay – you may create a trea

Hoping for answers

I am struggling with a few issues at the moment and thought I would share them with you and other readers to see if they need answers too. My first query is about claiming Carer Support and the availability for this to be completed online and then payments being made in a more timely manner. I live rurally and find the current process cumbersome. During lockdown (when I couldn't use Carer Support), I understand claims could be emailed and wonder why this process has not been continued. This shows there are different ways of working and looking to the future. Why is there not the availability of RealMe and a client management system, which a lot of funders and other government departments are using, to make the process more customer centric with easy access, more efficiency and quicker results? I am sure there are repeat claims being made from the same customers (of which I am one) over a number of years which would assure a high trust model. My second issue is that I receive respite care (Carer Support through Ministry of Health) for my child, who has a disability, to pay a carer so I can have a regular break. Is this payment subject to income tax? The carer we use does not receive a Work and Income benefit. I have spoken to IRD three times but they do not seem to have any idea. One person I spoke to said no tax is payable if the respite takes place in the home of the person who is doing the respite care. There is no clear information on the MOH site. Hope you can help as all of this is causing stress.

MICHELLE Thanks Michelle. We've asked MoH for answers - please phone 0800 777 797 so we can keep you informed. www.carers.net.nz

STARS!

Dance Movement Therapy & Arts Therapy Stars programmes are designed to support children on the Autism Spectrum and those living with developmental delays or behavioural challenges. In a group setting, participants will explore dance, movement, music, play and body awareness activities.

Space is limited to support optimal engagement for each child. All STARS groups are facilitated by experienced and qualified therapists.

Currently groups are running in the following centres: YMCA, Mt Albert | YMCA, North Shore | Te Tuhi Arts Centre, Pakuranga Onehunga Community Centre | Oasis, Waiuku.

Registration is essential For more information: info@dancetherapy.co.nz 09 636 3029 www.dancetherapy.co.nz

FamilyCARE 9

A KIWI SOLUTION TO HOIST PROBLEMS! Prof. Alexander says “I’m proud that we have found a way to keep caregivers safe and to give them back more time to care.”

Transferring people in care is time consuming and can be dangerous, contributing to more than four injuries to New Zealand caregivers every day.

A NZ company has solved those problems. The Kera sit2sit is a hoist alternative that makes it easy for one caregiver to safely transfer a person in care in under two minutes.

The Kera sit2sit is the brainchild of Prof.

Keith Alexander who is also the inventor behind the Springfree trampoline, a global Kiwi success story.

HT Systems, the company behind the Kera has a vision to develop technology that enables people to live their best lives.

In collaboration with therapists, caregivers and people in care, the HT System’s team approached the problem of transferring people from a different perspective.

“I wanted to stop kids getting hurt from playing on a trampoline, and when I found out that caregivers were getting hurt moving people, I knew that I had to solve the problem” Prof. Keith Alexander

The Kera sit2sit is being used to transfer people who can’t stand for themselves such as people with tetraplegia, amputations, or conditions such as MS. If you are caring for someone or employing caregivers the Kera can save time and reduce injuries. It can be funded through Accessable or Enable or is available on hire or rent to own.

D EBORAH ’ S S TORY Deborah grew up jumping on a Springfree trampoline in the backyard and now Keith's latest invention is making her life easier.

...now she no longer stands, the Kera is the ideal progression...its a one person job.

Cornelia

Developed with health professionals for safety and comfort.

Unique low force design reduces caregiver injuries.

2 minute transfers No cumbersome slings, no power supply needed.

Jenny (Deborah’s Mum)

We first met Deborah and her family a year ago. Her standing transfer aid was no longer safe and her family were preparing to use a sling hoist when they saw the Kera on the news.

Cornelia, Deborah's caregiver, loved that HT Systems "… came and helped with any questions we had...I can’t imagine Deborah’s care without it".

The Kera provided the perfect alternative to a hoist for Deborah.

CLICK HERE TO

Deborah’s Caregiver

Safe and secure

“We have reduced change times down to 4 minutes for one person, which is a huge time saver compared with using the hoist”

SEE

DEBORAH’S VIDEO

Only one caregiver Small, lightweight and manoeuvrable.

People are held Easily transfer non- comfortably and weight bearing securely during the people in minutes transfer process.

FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT: SIT2SIT.CO.NZ

feedback

A caring respite system

Thank you so much for the current issue of Family Care.

Reading the letter from Wendy K (Women's work) brought a range of issues to mind. The days of respite Wendy referred to is a key issue. The needs of the one being cared for are sorted, but there is nothing left for the caregiver except an empty home, cupboards and the cleaning up and then preparing for the loved one's return. Nothing to use as a night out. I couldn’t afford cosmetics for myself for a year. My son liked to see me wearing lipstick. It was part of the Mum he loved. It would be lovely if each year carers could receive a grant that would allow them to go away with costs covered. Sadly many families splinter due to caring pressures. The expectation that there are family members to play host to carers while they have a break is not a reality for most. Parents that supervised their children via the Correspondence School at one time received a couple of hundred dollars for themselves each year. For carers to have respite time with the means for a good break would be fantastic.

JH, NAPIER

Working together

Thank you for the information you posted to us about COVID-19. We are two elderly people living on our own.

We do not have email or a computer, just a landline and mobile phone. We have been married for 65 years and are now in our 80s - retired dairy farmers who are fit and healthy for our age, and equal partners in our farming business since

1955. We have downsized to a small home, keep a good vege garden and a berry garden, and have reservoirs for water, solar panels, and a wetback for heating. We chop all of our wood, mow the lawns, do our own maintenance, and still drive (we use mobility scooters around town). We shop for ourselves though during the lockdown we relied on grandchildren for basics like

bread, butter, meat, flour and sugar (keeping everything to a minimum). We make rolled oats for breakfast and have regular light meals made from our garden veges. We maintain a holiday home at Waihau Bay on the East Coast with its 1.5 acre hill section beside the ocean, the Waihou store and the 100 year old hotel.

We grow bananas, babacos, peaches, apples, figs, citrus, mandarins, and oranges, traveling around each month to maintain it all (now a ‘trust’ for family who love fishing). Doing this provides exercise though at a slower pace than years past!

CB AND HA WADE

Hobbies

I just love your magazine. I rush through it, then backtrack to read the items (and the adverts too). I am a cancer patient and diabetic and the two don’t like each other. If I starve to solve diabetes and eat only healthy foods, 'BOB the Bag' (bowel) doesn’t cope. No one is able to sort it out so I just plod on and do my own thing (cake is good). I use the hydro pool and www.carers.net.nz

gave up worrying if anyone can see BOB stuck to my stomach.

My dear friend has had lots of woes with a plumber ripping her off, thinking she is deaf so won’t know what he is telling his workers. He forgot that she lip reads! Luckily her insurance helped her out, and didn’t have troubles with her speech. All small things that don’t help some of us out here in the community. I do enjoy other people’s mail and recipes in your magazine, and would like some hobbies covered too.

Mine is family history, mostly online, and free at most local libraries. Good to learn about social history, medical history and why I followed the career I chose.

SANDRA GREIG

"FOR CARERS TO HAVE RESPITE TIME WITH THE MEANS FOR A GOOD BREAK WOULD BE FANTASTIC." FamilyCARE 11

Geneva’s team of thousands is here to support you and your loved ones What's important to you and your loved ones is important to us Whatever health concerns your loved ones have, our wraparound support services are personalised to meet their needs and aspirations. From a trained and qualified Geneva Certified Carer preparing a meal in your home, to medication management, our nurses popping in for a visit, or our Allied Health clinicians supporting your loved one’s disability or injury rehabilitation - we can provide as little or as much support as needed, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, nationwide.

Our services are free to those eligible for government funded support. We also provide private funded services.

Watch this video from our team on Geneva Healthcare’s Facebook page or visit our website to find out more

www.genevahealth.com 0800 GENEVA | 0800 436 382 facebook.com/GenevaHealth

books, music, film

OUR PICKS!

Watch, listen, read, share, learn!

WORDS ON BATHROOM WALLS

THE FATHER This 2020 drama film was co-written and directed by Florian Zeller, based on his 2012 play Le Père. A French-British coproduction, the film stars Anthony Hopkins, Olivia Colman, Mark Gatiss, Imogen Poots, Rufus Sewell, and Olivia Williams, and follows an aging Welshman who must deal with his progressing memory loss. The Father had its world premiere at the Sundance Film Festival last January, and is scheduled to be released into cinemas in early 2021. The film has been lauded by critics who have singled out Hopkins and Colman's performances and praised its depiction of dementia. Coming to NZ cinemas soon.

Click on the image to watch the trailer!

FRIENDS INDEED

A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING

Assist Dogs and Their People,

by Sue Allison Friends Indeed tells the stories of dogs working in assistance roles, helping their human friends when they are most in need. Trained to help people lead more independent, fulfilling lives, most have undergone intense training for their roles, but they are far more than assistants. These dogs are perceptive and heroic, glorious and goofy, who help their human friends eagerly and unconditionally. Through 41 inspiring and heartbreaking interviews, Sue Allison reveals the unique bond between people and their dogs, and the heartwarming and funny moments they have shared as they negotiate life together.

“This book had an incredible response and emotional reaction.”– New Holland Publishers ($29.99).

3 TO BE WON!

Diagnosed with a mental illness during his senior year of high school, a witty, introspective teen struggles to keep it a secret while falling in love with a brilliant classmate who inspires him to open his heart and not be defined by his condition. Described

by Screenrant.com as "part romcom and part mental illness drama", Words On Bathroom Walls deftly balances confronting issues with solid performances by Charlie Plummer and Taylor Russell. The film, in cinemas now, is based on the 2017 young adult book of the same name by Julia Walton.

Watch the trailer by clicking on the image!

This is a searing account of a mother’s late diagnosis of autism and its reaching effects on a whole family. Anna Wilson grew up in a house that was loving, even if her mum was ‘a little eccentric’. They knew to keep things clean, to stay quiet, and to look the other way when things started to get ‘a bit much for your Mum’. It’s only when her mother reaches her 70s, and Anna has a family of her own, that the cracks really start to appear. More manic. More irrational.

More detached from the world. And when her father, the man who has calmed and cajoled her mother through her entire life, is diagnosed with cancer, the whole world turns upside down. This is a story of a life lived with undiagnosed Asperger’s, about the person behind the disorder, those big unspoken family truths, and what it means to care for our parents in their final years. Available at all good bookstores ($33).

1 OF 4 COPIES! GIVEAWAY ENTRY FORM, PAGE 8

www.carers.net.nz

FamilyCARE 13

feature LITT WAY LE S LOVETO YOU RSEL F

POUR-OVER SOUP

Here’s a healthier version of instant noodles

Let go!

It's time for reflection, warmth, and peace

LOVELY LAVENDER

Use your abundance of lavender to make some beautiful, practical lavender wands. Click the lavender image to watch a video tutorial!

50g thin rice vermicelli Heaped tablespoon of miso paste Chunk of fresh ginger Handful of greens – whatever you have in the fridge or garden, chopped finely Add freshly boiled water to the vermicelli and leave to sit for 3 minutes. Peel and grate ginger into a bowl, and add the other ingredients.

Drain the vermicelli and add to the other ingredients. When you’re ready for lunch, pour more freshly boiled water until the vermicelli and veggies are just covered. Mix well and eat!

NEWS DETOX

Need to detox from the bad news which has dominated headlines in most media lately, serving only to make you feel powerless and hopeless? Start your day with a regular good news check in first to give your brain a positive reset: https://www.dailygood.org

It's a wrap

Furoshiki is an ancient Japanese art of wrapping gifts with fabric. It’s a gorgeous, sustainable alternative to single-use wrapping paper and, if you’re using beautiful scarves (vintage ones are fabulous), it’s two gifts in one!

14 FamilyCARE

“If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”

Dolly Parton

www.carers.net.nz

JESSIE AND THE MONSTER

Author Mark Stevenson, Illustrator Deborah Hinde Written with the compassionate insights of a father and educator whose daughter suffered from acute anxiety for many years. Mark Stevenson’s story is about how Jessie’s safe and secure life is overturned when, out of the blue, the most ominous of creatures, Wisper and his horde of followers, invade her world. When dealing to these monsters, Jessie’s anxiety nearly overwhelms her, but help comes in unexpected ways. Written primarily for young people who feel weighed down with anxiety and depression, parents, counsellors and psychologists will also find Jessie and the Monster a helpful resource. From Calico Publishing, $19.95. https://www.calicopublishing.co.nz

1 OF 3 COPIES!

Help if you care for a friend or family member Carers NZ produces many free resources. You can find them at www.carers.net.nz or phone 0800 777 797 to order copies for yourself, or bulk copies for carers in your network.

Many carers feel isolated and aren’t sure what help is out there for them.

Our resources are designed specially for all carers including those supporting an older person, older carers, and young carers aged under 24.

MYTREAT

This monthly subscription box company's philosophy is to put women’s self-care first. MyTreat believes that every woman deserves to treat herself with quality products at an affordable price. Try a Build Your Own Box, where you can add items such as hand creams, cleansers and serums. They also offer Body Box and Mini Box monthly subscriptions.

These beautiful, carefully selected products include body treats, skincare, beauty essentials, health products and tasty treats. MyTreat products are 100% natural, cruelty free and sourced from Kiwi businesses. This is a lovely gift for yourself or someone who could use a pick-me-up. Find out more at https://www.mytreat.co.nz

TWO 3 MONTH SUBSCRIPTIONS TO BE WON!

Contact Carers NZ if you need advice, have a question, or to request any of our resources.

0800 777 797 centre@carers.net.nz www.carers.net.nz facebook.com/CarersNZ facebook.com/YoungCarersNZ www.carers.net.nz

FamilyCARE 15

Useful things

Aids, equipment, and fun stuff to help you at home or out and about

NZ RING FINDER

Ever lost a tiny, precious piece of jewelry? If finding it proves impossible, try calling New Zealand Ring Finder - its 'detectorists' have recorded 6279 successful recoveries! “We love the search and the excitement of the discoveries we make, and the satisfaction of seeing people smile when we present them with their sentimental and valuable pieces of jewelry that they thought were lost forever.” Some detectorists will work up to their waists in water, others are even trained with scuba. Before searching in historic reserves and private property, they ask clients for permission. They also encourage clients to contact Police on 09 2611300 to log a report if jewelry isn’t found. Fees vary between detectorists, so when you are put in touch with one in your area, do discuss first. https://www.facebook.com/nzringfinders or call (027) 581 2660.

COLD BREW KOMBUCHA

Renè's Kombucha has launched a new Coffee Kombucha in cooperation with Coffee Lab. Try the complex flavours of Coffee Lab's premium cold brew organic coffee, fermented with Renè's kombucha culture. A drink to savour iced in small sips, its flavour compares to a beautiful plum wine. Low in caffeine, one 330ml bottle contains only slightly more caffeine than a single shot espresso. Both are Ethiopian single-origin coffees, Suke Quto and Lime Mecha, the beans roasted in small batches in NZ.

1 OF 20 330ML BOTTLES OF ALL SIX FLAVOURS WORTH $130!

LAST RITES

This personal journal for final wishes, closing reflections and your last legacy sets out what should happen after you die. You can share additional insights with others who will have access to the book, such as those who were loved, reflections on achievements and challenges, and observations on issues of consequence and importance. It’s a wonderful way to create a treasured final gift for family and friends. “I’ve got this book and highly recommend it. It starts what could be an awkward conversation but the book helped make it uplifting," says Jo Seagar, Patron of Hospice NZ The treasured memories section gives you space to write to your loved ones.

FREE printable download at https://www.lastwrites.nz/shop or hard copies are $39/ hardback or $25/paperback.

THE ENTRY FORM FOR FAMILY CARE GIVEAWAYS IS ON PAGE 8!

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www.carers.net.nz

LISTEN AND LEARN

Have a short break listening to some of these podcasts and online radio series, chosen with our readers in mind.

A Carer's Heart: A Podcast for Unpaid Carers With coaching psychologist Lynne Bardell, A Carer's Heart is a twice-monthly podcast to help carers understand the emotions they experience, and develop emotional resilience and psychological flexibility. https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/a-carersheart-a-podcast-for-unpaid-carers-u_m5AKCtd89/ Gretchen Rubin's Happier Podcast Practical, manageable advice about happiness and good habits. https://www.gretchenrubin.com/podcasts/ 10% Happier with Dan Harris Mental traits such as happiness, calm, generosity, compassion, and connection are not hardwired, unalterable factory settings, they are, in fact, skills that can be learned. https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast Eating Fried Chicken in the Shower Depressed alcoholic comedian James Nokise invites famous people into his mental health safe space to chat about happiness and so much more. www.rnz.co.nz/programmes/eating-fried-chicken Around the Planet with the BBC The first ever podcast from BBC Earth, each episode takes you on a storytelling journey to the heart of our planet. Whether it’s into the rainforest, spending eight days in total darkness in a cave in the Namibian desert, or watching a newly hatched chick take a giant leap of faith, this podcast is presented in an immersive atmospheric style. Clever audio and an intimate recording style gives listeners the sense that they’re alongside the naturalists in the field. https://www.bbcearth.com/podcast PickTheBrain with Erin Falconer Self-improvement focusing on 5 core categories: personal productivity, motivation, self education, psychology and philosophy. https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/about/ David Attenborough’s Life Stories Listen to this series of talks by Sir David Attenborough on the natural histories of creatures and plants. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00ylsr7/ episodes/guide

Help for Carers!

Do you support a friend or family member who is ill, has disabilities, or a chronic condition?

Carers NZ offers useful information, and advice about available help around the country!

We are a national not for profit that works with many other community, government, and charitable organisations to support those in caring situations.

Carers NZ assists carers directly via its 0800 and email services, and acts as Secretariat for the New Zealand Carers Alliance of 50+ national not for profits who are working in unity to give carers public visibility and a voice in decision-making that affects them.

Phone our National Resource Centre to request a free carer infopack or for a referral to a carer support network in your area. It's free to join our network (just call our 0800 helpline) or email centre@carers.net.nz You'll receive regular e-newsletters, email and posted updates, and we'll keep you informed about important news all carers should know about.

We'll also let you know about learning and social events you might like to attend in your area, or online!

You might also like to check out our web space that's just for carers. Visit the site regularly to see new articles, blog posts, and helpful information to support you in your role!

Visit www.carers.net.nz Email centre@carers.net.nz Facebook www.facebook.com/carersnz Twitter #carersnz Pinterest CarersAir

Phone Carers NZ's National Resource Centre Monday to Friday during business hours: 0800 777 797 www.carers.net.nz

FamilyCARE 17

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Roll with it

By Angelique Kasmara Who wants to predict what’s around the next corner? I certainly don’t!

The only thing I can be sure of at the moment is that these unstable times have taken a toll on even the most resilient of us. Many people have found it hard to focus and prioritise, to sleep, relax and dream.

Here are ideas to help you let go and roll with it!

Embrace routine

Our brains work best on routine.

It’s soothing to fill your trolley with the same supermarket items, to reach into your pantry and know what you’ll grab first, to have all your desktop icons arranged the way you like them.

Predictability allows our lower brain processes to run on autopilot, which in turn lets our higher brain processes such as empathy, creativity and long-term thinking flourish.

So do embrace as much routine as you are able to, as it will hold you in good stead!

But what about when you can’t just 'roll with it'? What about those times, like we've all had in 2020, when routines are disrupted and it can be hard to get back into the patterns we're used to?

We’re going to look at a few tools and ideas that can assist with dealing with uncertainty. When nothing feels as if it’s going our way. When possibly the best option is to let go of any semblance of control, and, indeed, just roll with it.

“EACH NEW DAY HAS A DIFFERENT SHAPE TO IT. YOU JUST ROLL WITH IT.” Ben Zobrist

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www.carers.net.nz

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Pay attention to the present moment

Where you are, what you’re doing, what’s happening right in front of you, immediately calms the mind and reduces stress and anxiety.

Ask yourself the following: What are three things that cause stress for me? What can I do to reduce these activities?

What are three things that help me de-stress? How can I create more opportunities to do these?

Exercise. This enables your body to reduce levels of stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. It also stimulates the production of endorphins, a brain chemical which naturally reduces pain and elevates mood.

Take regular brain breaks. Be an observer, let go of thoughts. When we’re judging others or a situation, we will get stuck in our 'limbic brain': the part of our brain involved in behavioural and emotional responses, especially when it comes to survival and ‘flight or fight’ mode. Staying in our pre-frontal cortex allows us to come up with solutions. It receives input from multiple regions of the brain to process information and adapt accordingly, including being able to focus your attention.

Find your voice. It’s about having confidence in your ideas and that your words and actions reflect your core values.

Start a compliments file. It’s nice to remember the kind things that people have said to you or done for you, to read when you’re feeling down.

Be playful. Play empowers people to be flexible thinkers, creative, young at heart, and free-spirited.

Morning pages. Write three pages of unedited thoughts each day. Wallow as much as you want. Then burn the paper.

There. You’ve released some baggage.

Ask someone for a favour. Ask which clothes they like best on you, to hang out, to go for an outing together.

Give your face some love. Unclench your jaw, relax the muscles around your neck. Then with firm, even pressure, massage your face in an upwards, circular motion, using your palms.

www.carers.net.nz

Relieve eye strain. Every 20 minutes, blink continuously for a minute. Roll your eyes following a figure-8 pattern. If you’ve been in front of the computer or a device for too long, look at the clouds out the nearest window.

Good posture is important. To improve your posture, your ears should be directly over your shoulders, and the top of your shoulders should be over your hips. Tuck in your tail bone and imagine the crown of your head lifting into the sky. Correcting your posture allows your nervous system to increase its functionality, giving your body the right messages to help you heal from aches and ailments. Good posture also increases blood flow and oxygen to your brain, which improves your access to memory. And not just any memories - positive ones. Researchers have discovered that the physical does in fact correlate to the mental - hunching into yourself will tease out depressing memories, but tilting your chin upward will elicit empowering memories. www.researchgate.net/publication/321348063_How_ Posture_Affects_Memory Complete one task at a time. Leaving things unfinished makes you pay less attention to the moment you are in. Set aside a good amount of time to complete one task. On the flip side, don’t stress if you can’t. Doing little bits of tasks during the day means that at the end of the day you’ll be further along than when you started.

Spend time with pets. It’s hard to be anxious or annoyed in the company of a furry friend!

FamilyCARE 19

Anyone can feel lonely If you are feeling lonely, we know that’s really tough, but we’re really glad that you’re looking for information.

Feeling lonely is a normal human experience but is also a sign that you want to connect with others.

There are lots of things that you can do yourself that can help you to feel less lonely. Sometimes the best way to move out of loneliness is to talk to someone else or get a little help.

There are also organisations that offer support and opportunities to connect with other people.

Visit the website to find out how you can become involved in the movement to end loneliness: • • • • •

Learn about loneliness and how to tackle it Sign up for our newsletter Join the coalition Share your stories Donate to support our work

If your feelings or situation are overwhelming, there are many organisations and people ready to listen.

Together we can end loneliness one person, one community, one workplace at a time.

www.letsendloneliness.co.nz

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Roll with the punches

Know that feeling of being knocked down, then struggling to get up, just to get knocked back again?

How do we not let these times discourage us from trying again?

In boxing terms, to ‘roll with the punches’ means moving your body away from an opponent’s blows to lessen the impact.

Its broader meaning is about adapting to an adverse situation.

In boxing and in life, adequate preparation is important, as is being able to think clearly and stay calm under testing circumstances.

It isn’t about ignoring what is happening in the world, but engaging fully without letting the physical reality hijack your thoughts and emotions.

Think of it as building a resilience bank account!

Your emotions are a manifestation of a sophisticated mood regulation system. Worrying will feed anxiety and fear, which can create unhelpful amounts of stress hormones such as cortisol, resulting in things such as disturbed sleep and high blood pressure.

Rock’n’roll

The effect of music on both our emotions and bodies can be profound. When you’re choosing music to destress to, pick something you like!

String and woodwind instruments, recordings of rain, waves, and birdsong are traditionally considered to be relaxing, as are light jazz, classical, and easy listening music.

However, we all know those who prefer to selfsoothe with Black Sabbath, and who would be filled with horror listening to the dulcet tones of Simon & Garfunkel!

Dancing to favourite tracks at home is an excellent way to unwind. Music definitely helps to lift the mood when you’re stuck in traffic as well.

Researchers at Stanford University have said that "listening to music seems to be able to change brain functioning to the same extent as medication". Here are some traditionally soothing melodies to relax to!

A Moment of Peace Meditation, Aneal & Bradfield Heaven and Earth Spirits track from Life & Love Echoes of Time C. Carlos Nakai from the Canyon Trilogy Classical Indian Music for Healing and Relaxing Gayatri Govindarajan, Pure Deep Meditation track Angels of Venice from Music for Harp, Flute and Cello Buddha Spirit, Aneal & Bradfield from Light & Love

Find your own favourite tunes at iTunes, Spotify, or on YouTube!

“DON’T COUNT THE DAYS, MAKE THE DAYS COUNT." Muhammad Ali

“A rolling stone gathers no moss”

This old proverb may have a positive or negative spin, depending on how you look at it.

Its original meaning refers to people who are always moving, with no roots in one place or another, avoiding responsibility.

Inversely, a common modern meaning is that a person must stay active to avoid stagnation.

How you interpret it depends on you. Perspective is important!

We can’t change what’s going on right this instant, however we can change our perspective on it, and in doing so, give ourselves a future to look forward to.

Ask yourself, “what’s one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?”

Take decisive actions, rather than detaching completely from problems and stresses and wishing they would just go away.

Look for opportunities for self-discovery.

We all know that struggles with loss can also bring opportunities for growth.

“IF YOU WANT TO RELEASE AGGRESSION, GET UP AND DANCE. THAT’S WHAT ROCK AND ROLL IS ABOUT.” Chuck Berry

www.carers.net.nz

FamilyCARE 21

We’re spending too long ‘getting ready’ David Corner has spent 12 years representing people with intellectual disabilities internationally. He has spent 24 years promoting their rights within New Zealand.

But when the bathroom in the house he owns was renovated last year, he didn’t get to choose the paint, or what vinyl went on the floor.

David, IHC National Self-Advocacy Adviser, recently gave presentations about self-advocacy at Regional Focus Groups in Auckland, Hamilton, Kāpiti and Christchurch to encourage people to speak up about how they want to live their lives.

This was the second round of Regional Focus Groups organised by the IDEA Services Quality Team.

“It’s important to speak up about the things that are important to you,” he told participants at the Kāpiti forum. “IDEA Services needs to hear back from you about what is working well for you in services and what needs to be improved. It is the staff’s role to help you make the choices.”

He fears that people’s confidence can be easily eroded. “We don’t give them confidence. We set them up to fail,” he says.

“There is a ‘readiness trap’ sometimes, ‘You are not ready to go flatting. You are not ready to go and talk to such and such’.”

David asked those at the meeting whether they answered the phone in their homes and were able to choose what they ate or what television channel they watched.

He reminded them that it was their right to have support to make decisions, but people sometimes confused the line between acting in someone’s best interests and allowing them to exercise their will and preference, which was a right protected by the United Nations Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities.

David, who lives at home supported by another service provider, told of the time a new team leader turned up to his house unannounced. “My support worker didn’t let me know he was coming until two minutes before he turned up – and it was my house.”

He said last year he was planning a party and saw emails between two people asking if his house was accessible. “It’s my house, but no one asked me if my house was accessible.”

As far as his bathroom renovation went, David acknowledged that he did get a photograph of the chosen vinyl sent to him, but no opportunity to have input.

In November, David signed off from his job as Asia-Pacific Regional Representative for international disability organisation Inclusion International. At his final meeting he was awarded life membership for his service.

It was a role that took him around the world – to Florida, Germany, Nepal, Washington, Portugal, Spain, Suva, Thailand, India and Geelong in Victoria, Australia.

At meetings and conferences David participated in brainstorming sessions about the issues facing people with intellectual disabilities from all parts of the globe and was able to contribute New Zealand’s and his own experiences to the mix. “It’s all about listening, including and respecting and valuing the people with intellectual disability,” he says.

Helen Sinclair, National Manager Quality said David delivered some important self-advocacy messages at the meetings. “His views prompted some great discussions with participants about what good support looks like and the ways people can speak up and be supported to raise issues that matter most to them.”

The Quality Team intends to share the views of the focus groups throughout the organisation and to get more people involved in 2021.

Morris brothers’ mystery remains unsolved There was a cruel divide in Ollie and Ted Morris’s family. To be born a boy was to be born with an intellectual disability.

The cause of the disability that affected each of their four sons and none of their five daughters remains a mystery after nearly 90 years.

The Gisborne couple’s eldest son Donald, born in 1932, was the first to be affected.

Then it affected brothers John, Peter and Rex. Sister Yvonne Sutton says their mother Olive, who married Ted, a farmer, feared the worst every time she gave birth. “Every time she had a boy, she knew what was happening,” she says.

The Morris brothers were born in a time when families often had no diagnosis for their disabled child. In those early days, support for the Morris brothers came from IHC and from the community. That has continued throughout their lives.

John celebrated his 80th birthday in October with his younger brothers Peter, 78, and Rex, 75, and the wider family. John and Peter live in an IDEA Services residence and Rex is supported to live independently.

Ollie and Ted became involved in IHC and Ollie worked with Min Sutton to set up a Gisborne branch in 1951 – only two years after IHC started. In 1953, by the time Donald was 21, there was a vocational centre operating out of a garage in town for young people who had left school.

The family now understands that the brothers are affected by a deficit on the X chromosome, but cytogenetic testing in 2004 ruled out Fragile X and there has been no alternative diagnosis. “It’s obviously in the male line,” says their sister Judy Mackintosh.

What’s even more of a mystery is that it has not turned up in the next generation. “It started with Mum and Dad and finished with Mum and Dad,” Judy says.

Donald went to school up to Standard 2, and learned to read and write. His life was cut

short in 1966. He drowned during a church picnic at Morere Hot Springs, at the age of 34.

“Rex is in Supported Living. He can’t read and he can’t write. He worked for nearly 30 years at Furniture Court. They have all had jobs.

Peter used to clean the red buses. He worked at Sandown [Park Hotel] and he used to mow the lawns. John was working for a short time in a glass place.”

In 1987 the three surviving brothers moved into IDEA Services residential care when Ted and Ollie were unable to carry on supporting them. Ted died in 1992, aged 85, and Ollie in 2004, aged 96.

The family is still involved with IHC. Alan Mackintosh, husband of Judy, has served as Gisborne Branch President and Chair of the IHC Gisborne Association.

Above: John Morris (left) has just celebrated his 80th birthday with family and friends.

He’s pictured here with younger brothers Peter and Rex.

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Chapter ONE Let me tell you a story…

It’s about a young-ish woman who is on the cusp of turning 40.

She’s happily married to a French guy and together they have three lovely daughters.

She has no idea the curve ball life is about to lob at her head.

Yup. That woman is me, and that curve ball was horrific. It is also what finally made me get serious about my lifelong dream of being a writer.

I was going along quite happily.

My girls were all healthy and busy.

My family had just moved back to Canada after five years spent renovating vacation rentals in the vineyards of Burgundy, France.

My French husband was adjusting to life on our island in the Pacific.

We were getting into the swing of the healthy West Coast lifestyle after several years of French decadence.

We were running 10km races and growing kale in our backyard for our morning green juice.

Good God, we must have been tedious.

The only area of lingering dissatisfaction was my writing, or rather the lack thereof.

I’d dreamed of being a writer ever since I was a child, but the previous decade had been littered with manuscripts to about 70% completion, with nothing finished.

I was terrified of failing at the one thing I truly wanted to do.

24 FamilyCARE

Or, how Laura Bradbury ended up starting a memoir (now the bestselling Grape series).

So much so that I couldn’t finish or share anything.

In short, I was a ninja master at self-sabotage, and I was getting nowhere with my dream.

One fine day, Franck (the French husband) and I decided we were being so healthy and virtuous that we should apply for extra life and disability insurance.

We’d had a third child, after all.

Besides, we’d become so virtuous that we would pass the medical exams with flying colours.

You know … all that green juice.

A nurse came and took our blood pressure and a few vials of our blood, then went on her way as we waited blithely for our approval.

For me, it never came.

Instead, as I was running out the door to take my youngest to a gymnastic lesson, I answered a phone call from our insurance agent.

“You’ve been turned down for your insurance,” she said.

“There’s something very wrong with your blood work. They’ve recommended that you make an appointment with your doctor immediately.”

There it was.

One of those moments when your life swings on its axis and becomes something utterly different than what was before.

The weeks that followed were horrendous.

www.carers.net.nz

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My liver function tests were sky high, so of course doctors at first thought I had a drinking problem.

I didn’t and never have - I have an internal switch that shuts off after two drinks or so.

I was tested for hepatitis. Negative.

Pancreatic or bile duct cancer (both with very poor prognoses) were floated.

I had to have a liver biopsy from a doctor who yelled at me to hold still or else die of internal bleeding when I was shaking from fear.

I experienced my first MRI and CT scans.

So many vials of my blood were taken that I was sure my veins must be like the Sahara Desert.

I was drowning in uncertainty.

Finally, I had my specialist appointment on May 1, 2012.

“Laura,” he said without preamble, "unfortunately your test results have shown that you have primary sclerosing cholangitis, called PSC for short.”

Uh oh.

From my late night Googling I had learned that besides cancer, PSC was one of the worst case scenarios based on my symptoms.

My doctor confirmed this.

PSC is a rare auto-immune disease of the bile ducts and liver, he told Franck and me as we sat on our vinyl doctor’s office chairs, numb with fear.

There is no treatment. There is no cure. It is usually terminal unless the PSC patient can get a liver transplant, but transplants are hard to come by, and you have to get one before being killed off by liver disease and PSC first. Waiting lists are massive, and many people die while waiting, or become so sick they are delisted, which amounts to the same thing.

You can only get a transplant if you are a few months away from death.

I would likely be an unwilling participant in a game of medical Russian Roulette.

I walked out of that appointment a sick person with a terminal disease.

The next morning, I woke up suffocated by a lead blanket of grief and terror. It was the first day of my new life—my 'after'.

This new life came with the sword of death hanging over my head.

I had no idea how much time I had left - I couldn’t afford to mess around anymore.

Still in shock over the harsh realities of my new existence, I got out of bed.

I had three daughters, aged 4, 10, and 12. What would I leave behind for them if PSC took me far, far earlier than planned?

My laptop was sitting on the dining room table.

I sat down in front of it.

There was a pad of post-its and a pen I’d been using the day before sitting to the right of my keyboard.

I grabbed the pen and scribbled 'F-ck You. I’m not dead yet'.

Except I filled in the blank letter.

In a split second, all those fears of failure were replaced by the fear of dying with my words still left inside me.

I opened a new Word document and typed the first line of My Grape Escape. www.carers.net.nz

THERE IT WAS. "YOU'VE BEEN TURNED DOWN FOR INSURANCE. THERE'S SOMETHING VERY WRONG WITH YOUR BLOOD WORK. THEY'VE RECOMMENDED THAT YOU MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH YOUR DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY."

Laura's books have many fans in New Zealand. You can buy her Grape series, based on her adventures in France and Canada, at Amazon. Recently she published her first cookbook, Bisous and Brioche, and is about to release a new title, How To Write a Beloved (and Bestselling) Memoir. Laura has had a liver transplant and is now the author of more than 10 books. Follow her journey and sign up for her newsletter at https://laurabradbury.com FamilyCARE 25

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WE are not MACHINES Every carer knows their role can be rewarding, but they also know it can be uniquely demanding. Most carers have other responsibilities too and juggling these with providing care can be hugely challenging. Caregiver stress is inevitable at times.

However, when it starts to gradually build up, and up, and up, it can become harder to cope with.

We’re quick to recharge our cell phones but much slower to recharge ourselves.

While we focus on the needs and wellbeing of the person we care for, our own needs and wellbeing are often given little thought.

Carers work hard. Tiredness can become our ‘normal’. In fact, we might not even realise just how weary we are. However, we are not machines. We have human limits and human reactions.

We can’t simply keep going and going and going without consequences - however much we wish we could.

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Understanding carer burnout, what helps prevent it and ways to recover. By Tricia Irving

Research is clear that living with a constantly high level of stress is likely to affect a person’s physical, mental and emotional health and wellbeing. It can put carers at greater risk of having accidents. It commonly affects our mood and attitude. Too much stress can steal joy and pleasure from us. It can put extra pressure on our relationships and even affect our decision making. And how do you think a carer’s high stress levels might affect the person they provide care for?

”LITTLE BY LITTLE, A LITTLE CAN BECOME A LOT.” Tanzanian proverb www.carers.net.nz

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What is “Carer Burnout”?

Carer burnout occurs when a carer experiences ongoing physical, mental and emotional exhaustion caused by the unrelieved high stress levels of their caregiving role.

It can become a debilitating condition.

By the time a caregiver realises they are on the road to burnout, they are likely to already be experiencing a range of its symptoms.

The good news is that with proactive, daily self-care, burnout can be prevented or turned around.

Here are burnout indicators commonly experienced by carers: Exhaustion and a lack of energy, or wired, agitated, restless and unable to stop High levels of worry and anxiety Often emotionally overwhelmed Difficulty coping with even everyday matters – it’s hard getting through a day Brain fog – difficulty concentrating and focusing – forgetful

Strong emotions, including irritation, impatience, anger, rage as well as: - Sadness and grief - Negativity, low mood – just not enjoying things as before - Feeling stuck and without motivation - Feeling things are out of control - Guilt - Resentment - Low self-esteem – not feeling good enough More likely to over-react to arising situations Social isolation – feeling left out of things, lonely and unsupported, or choosing to socially withdraw Relationship tensions Tearfulness, mood swings, anxiety issues, panic attacks, depression Reactions to traumatic, frightening situations experienced personally or the person cared for (e.g. replaying events, nightmares, on alert for more threats, avoidance of triggers) A sense of hopelessness – in extreme cases, suicidal thinking

Sleep difficulties – too little or too much Changes in eating habits – losing or gaining weight, or a poor diet Lack of exercise Increase in headaches, stomach aches, muscle aches and lowered resistance to illness, or existing conditions flaring up or worsening Overuse of alcohol, drugs, prescribed medications, smoking or other risk behaviours to distract from the stress Loss of compassion – in extreme cases, neglectful Constant concerns about money Feeling uncertain about the future

If reactions become extreme, and if a carer continues to be in crisis without support, the carer, the one they care for, and others around them can potentially be at risk of serious harm. Tragedies can occur when a burned-out caregiver has become overwhelmed, violent or mentally unwell.

“WE TAKE OUR CAREGIVING RESPONSIBILITIES SERIOUSLY BUT WHEN LOTS OF STRESS GETS US OUT OF BALANCE, WE CAN START TO LOSE PERSPECTIVE. EXCEPT WE DON’T ALWAYS REALISE IT. WE’VE ALL GOT HUMAN LIMITS. OUR HEALTH AND WELLBEING DON’T MATTER LESS THAN ANYONE ELSE’S, DO THEY?” Helen, carer for her son www.carers.net.nz

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Self-care is how we take our power back.

When we know what to look for, we can make wiser choices to help prevent burnout or recover from it. Getting your life into a good balance requires learning to take good care of yourself as a priority – not as an optional extra. Remember the aeroplane requirement to put on our own oxygen mask before assisting anyone else? This increases the chance that you’ll both be able to cope in a tough situation. In other words, the carer and the person cared for benefits from the carer’s self-care. Carer selfcare is always a positive choice. It is very practical. It’s a burnoutbuster!

One way to think about self-care is that it shows we have some self-respect. It builds up our resilience to cope with whatever life brings along. It helps us keep a positive attitude, a sense of humour, good relationships with others and the ability to persevere and adapt as circumstances change. Self-care can lift our spirits and improve our mood. It certainly isn’t just about having treats on bad days. It’s not just for use a crisis. Sometimes

28 FamilyCARE

"CARING FOR MYSELF IS NOT SELF-INDULGENCE. IT IS SELF-PRESERVATION." Audre Lorde

it will involve making choices to do things we might prefer to avoid. Such as seeing our GP, organising respite care, accepting help from others, or improving our diet.

All of us can sometimes feel stuck and locked into routines, habits and attitudes that get in our own way. It can help to look for circuit breakers and try something new to move forwards.

Use the following strategies!

www.carers.net.nz

feature

10 self-care strategies to use for burnout prevention and for recovery

1

Check in with yourself regularly. Ask yourself

some honest questions, such as… How am I doing right now?

How’s my health? My mental health? What do I have some control over? What can I change? What are my limits? What are my early warning signs? What things stop me from prioritising self-care and why? This keeps you aware of what you’re needing to be sustainable.

(You might like to see Carers NZ's article Wellbeing WOF: Check yourself out http://carers.net.nz/information/wellbeing-wofcheck-yourself-out/)

2

Focus on getting the basics right each day.

Eat a healthy diet. Drink enough water. Exercise. Get enough sleep and rest. See a doctor if you’re unwell or struggling – don’t miss those appointments for yourself. Do something every day that lifts your spirit.

3

Ask for help and share the load.

We all have limits.

Talk with family, whānau, aiga, close friends and support professionals (GP, social workers, community workers etc.) honestly about what care is needed and what support options they can offer. Say yes if someone offers assistance, even if it’s not always done how you’d prefer it to be done.

Carers NZ can help you to know your rights and entitlements and also offer support. See https://www.carers.net.nz, phone 0800 777 797 or email centre@carers.net.nz for free advice.

Make an appointment with a counsellor. Talking things through can lighten the load.

In times of acute stress or crisis, call or text 1737, available 24/7, to speak to a counsellor for some immediate support.

4

Take short breaks through your day. Think

of them as mini vacations! Maybe sit outside. Phone someone. Get out of the house for a while. Visit family or friends. Have a long shower. Spend time with a pet. Read a book. Listen to music. Walk round the block. Use a progressive relaxation technique. Do some slow, deep breathing. See the Weekly Time Out Planner http://carers.net.nz/wp-content/ uploads/2014/06/Weekly_Respite_Planner_Carers_NZ.pdf

5

And use longer time out / respite care. From a regular few hours to a few weeks, respite breaks can make a big difference for carers. If you are experiencing burnout, it is absolutely essential. Studies show that using longer respite care at least once or twice a year improves a carer’s wellbeing and resiliency. Put the dates in your diary. Stick to your plan. See Carers NZ's Time Out Guide and be sure to ask your doctor or NASC about your respite funding and planning options. http://carers.net.nz/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/ CarersNZ_Time-Out-Guide_Feb19-WEB.pdf

6

Get out your strong thoughts and feelings.

It helps. You could talk to someone you trust about what you’re going through. Write it down in a journal. Cry if you need to. Shout into a pillow. Walk, run, dance or exercise it out. Use art. Use music. Make something. Get away into nature. See what works for you.

7

Talk to other carers. You can share your frustrations, encourage each other, laugh about the realities others don’t understand, swap useful information, short cuts and tips, and celebrate the good times. Phone 0800 777 797 to find out what’s in your area. Why not also join Carers NZ's large Facebook’s community to stay informed and connect with other carers – https://www.facebook.com/carersnz

8

Don’t let caregiving take over your life completely. Give regular time and attention to other

things you find meaningful, interesting and enjoyable. Keep up with friends. Treat yourself to something. Enjoy a hobby. Join a team or a group. Try to talk to someone outside of your carer world every day. This kind of approach helps your life to keep in balance.

9

Keep a positive outlook. Celebrate even small victories. Look out for silver linings in situations. Notice things to be grateful for. Keep hopeful. Look for things that inspire and encourage you.

10

Make room for laughter and fun. Use your

sense of humour. Laughter lowers stress! Share a joke.

Call or visit people who make you laugh. Watch a comedy.

Read something funny. Try to find the humour in even everyday situations.

www.carers.net.nz

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It could be time for a tough question

If you think you are burned out and regularly overwhelmed by your situation and role, consider if now is the time to think about ending your carer situation, cutting it back significantly, or immediately finding more help. You don’t want to put yourself or the person you care for at an increasing risk of harm. We all have limits, even when we’re giving our best to our caring.

We carers can find ourselves in situations that are just too demanding to manage. Find some people you trust to talk this through with. Decide on the steps that need to be taken and take them. You can still be caring, but possibly in a new way. Perhaps you can now focus more on the quality of your relationship with the person you care for, while you rebalance and become healthy and well yourself.

30 FamilyCARE

“TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. IT’S SO EASY TO SURRENDER TO THE CARER ROLE MORE OF YOUR LIFE THAN YOU SHOULD. YOUR LIFE STILL NEEDS TO BE ABOUT YOU.” John Shore

Your next steps?

Self-care is far from being selfish. Carers are not machines. We are humans. So, self-care is wise and healthy. What will your next self-care steps be?

www.carers.net.nz

carers speak

Sensitive content: article refers to homicide and abuse

Hamster ALERT! Ursula Christel worries about the lack of urgency to improve things for family carers, whose work and wellbeing is not valued and who are often trapped on the 'hamster wheel' of intensive caring with inadequate support for their role.

After hesitantly agreeing to write an opinion piece on Why do you think family carers snap - and what can make a difference?, my research opened up a Pandora’s box of far too many devastating family tragedies. Spouses, children, siblings, parents - all carers responsible for a dependent family member who had been either infirm, chronically ill, or severely disabled, all resorting to end either one or both of their lives as a final solution to unbearable circumstances.

When I asked a close friend why she thought some family carers snap, her response was "is that even a question"?

The reality is that care incurs many costs – not just financial.

Family carers are ‘on duty’ 24/7, forfeiting their own health and mental wellbeing on a daily basis, frequently working in the most challenging conditions in a society that is not well structured for inclusion. Combinations of sleep deprivation, isolation, financial strain, PTSD, grief, guilt, depression and anxiety inevitably www.carers.net.nz

manifest into physical burnout and mental breakdowns. Add the personal costs of forgoing dreams, careers and social circles; the ongoing frustration of grappling with medical issues and dealing with the medical sector, and then having to navigate a dysfunctional ‘support system’. Double all that for single parents and sole carers and you have a recipe for tragedy.

Then there are the equally horrifying reports of mistreatment of service users at respite and residential facilities for the disabled and the elderly. Stories of historical abuse cases, extreme neglect and substandard care, plus numerous reported deaths all heighten the protective instincts of family carers.

The risks of abuse or neglect by others is very high, especially when the vulnerable person has challenging behaviours, complex needs, is nonverbal, or is experiencing a medical crisis.

For parent carers, the thought of 'what happens when I’m gone?' triggers extreme anxiety.

Even handing over the care role just to take short respite breaks can require immense courage and trust.

It is purely credit to this workforce’s extreme resilience that we don’t have a flood of horror stories hitting the headlines.

A 2014 Infometrics report states: “Our central estimate of the value of unpaid family care is $10.8 billion or 5% of GDP in 2013.

The number of unpaid carers represented is 12.8% of the adult population of New Zealand.” ¹ It would be reasonable to assume that in order to keep this FamilyCARE 31

carers speak

large economic asset sustainable, it should be well protected by the Government. Yet the informal carer workforce remains exempt from compliance with the Health and Safety Act and basic human rights simply due to ‘the family bond’.

And current policies that prop up this invisible workforce have so far presented as wordy illusions in a deadly cycle of deception.

Casey Albury, a 17 year old with severe behavioural problems associated with autism, was killed by her mother in 1997.

The defence was that her mother had been driven to desperation trying to get respite care for her daughter. ² Shortly after this shocking event, the National Health Committee (NHC) produced an extensive report highlighting the needs of informal carers, stating that "time away from caring is critical for carers’ physical and mental wellbeing". ³ Ten years later, a followup report states “the NHC is concerned that the needs raised in that [1998] report, now a decade old, are essentially the same issues facing informal carers today.” ⁴ It was just a matter of time… The tragic death of Ruby Knox, killed by her mother in 2016, rocked the nation again, setting in motion yet another review process that not surprisingly arrived at the very same conclusions.

It was noted that the suggestions in Dr Rosemary Marks’ report appear to "mirror those contained in a review released 20 years ago". ⁵ This repeat-cycle conjures up the apt visual metaphor of a hamster running on a spinning wheel, seemingly working very hard to get somewhere but actually stuck in the exact same spot: the familiar ineffective cycles of bureaucracy.

Dr Marks’ review of New Zealand’s disability services warns “there will be more Rubys” unless services improve. ⁶ So why has no urgent action been taken?

In 2018, I watched in utter horror and disbelief as my own desperate emails - sent to appropriate services during a crisis, requesting urgent respite support for my adult son - were forwarded straight into the giant hamster wheel, where they circled for months. I believe they are still in there somewhere.

I dragged myself out of that deep hole by my fingernails while anxiously awaiting the draft Mahi Aroha Carers’ Strategy Action Plan 2019-2023. This is the third ‘Action Plan’ to support The NZ Carers’ Strategy that was initially launched in 2008.

Coming in at No.10 on the bullet point list is "help carers to take breaks when needed. This includes looking at respite services across New Zealand." ⁷ With additional bureaucratic layers, the "development of the new Action Plan is supported by a wellbeing framework, which will inform how we prioritise and develop actions for the Action Plan." ⁸ Note the cyclic word repetition, lack of urgency, and no timeline for implementation. Another Action Plan, missing in action.

In response to the final question - “what are some answers that can make a difference?” - well, it’s quite simple really. As the slogan says, let’s do this! Let’s get rid of the hamster and get out of this unproductive cycle.

The Ministry of Health has all the reports and feedback it needs; the NASC services have the necessary data; and local business and community groups are sure to embrace and support respite projects for our most vulnerable.

Let’s appoint someone to implement the actions – with urgency!

Let’s follow those decades-old recommendations and create ‘shovel-ready’ respite options in all regions.

Let’s provide instant practical support for carers in crisis.

With the recent closure of a large Auckland respite facility 32 FamilyCARE

I WATCHED IN HORROR AND DISBELIEF AS MY OWN DESPERATE EMAILS - SENT TO APPROPRIATE SERVICES DURING A CRISIS - WERE FORWARDED STRAIGHT INTO THE GIANT HAMSTER WHEEL. (Laura Fergusson) and stress levels escalating during the 2020 lockdowns, we simply can’t afford to lose more decades trialling ‘pilot programmes’ in smaller regions, while carers nationwide remain isolated and unravelling.

Vulnerable lives are at stake, and the clock is ticking.

Perhaps 2021 will finally be The Year of Action?

Ursula Christel has three sons, one of whom has a rare condition called Angelman Syndrome. Due to the lack of resources on the Syndrome, Ursula co-founded The Angelman Network Trust in 2009 and remained as a trustee for 10 years. Being personally involved in the disability sector in New Zealand for over 24 years – the last 7+ as a single parent - has made her acutely aware of disability as a social construct that still causes many to remain alienated every single day of their lives. Now based in Warkworth, Ursula remains actively involved in disability-related organisations, and is an advocate for inclusion and basic human rights. Ursula focuses on issues of accessibility, Universal Design, recognition of family carers, person-centred planning, and an autonomous voice for non-speakers (using Augmentative and Alternative Communication/AAC).

References: 1. 2014: Infometrics for Carers NZ, The economic value and impacts of informal care in New Zealand 2. Casey Albury: Nancy Swarbrick, Care and carers - Home or institutional care?, Te Ara - the Encyclopaedia of New Zealand 3. 1998, How Should We Care for the Carers? National Health Committee 4. 2010, How Should we Care for the Carers, Now and into the Future? Manaaki tangata, NHC 5. 2018, Ruby Macandrew – Stuff 6. 2018, Jennifer Eder and Skara Bohny, July 2018, Stuff 7. 2019, Mahi Aroha Carers’ Strategy Action Plan 2019-2023 8. 2019, Current state: Carers of people with health conditions or disabilities- Welfare Expert Advisory Group – Kia Piki Ake (p25) 2017, Tracy Neal, Nelson Reporter – RNZ 2019, Synergia / Carers Alliance: Respite in New Zealand – We must do better www.carers.net.nz

feature

Purposeful breathing Simple breathing skills can rapidly reduce feelings of stress and anxiety, and increase feelings of strength and relaxation. Try Dr Greg Smith's practical suggestions and be in to win a copy of his book!

The breath is a remarkably powerful mind-body connection.

Anxiety, anger, deep calm or steady concentration each have their own patterns of breathing, and we move between different styles of breathing every day without usually realising it.

Purposeful breathing helps you recognise your patterns and consciously change them, which in turn can produce positive emotional change.

Breathing to overcome anxiety and panic

The world has become a much more anxious place.

Unfortunately, the Black Dog Institute has noted that common consequences of disease outbreaks such as COVID-19 include anxiety and panic, with estimates of between 25% to 33% of the community experiencing high levels of worry.

Many people may also have developed an anxiety disorder for the first time, and may not know how or what can help.

Dr Greg Smith has worked with hundreds of people suffering from anxiety conditions over the years and knows just how important breathing, mental and physiological techniques are for the very anxious.

This is something Greg has refined over 35 years as a psychologist, yoga teacher and educator.

He has developed powerful techniques for using breathing as a tool to help rapidly reduce states you don’t want (such as stress, anxiety, agitation, or depression) and increase states you do want (feeling calmer, stronger, more energised or inspired).

If you're feeling anxious, we hope you enjoy our extract from Greg's new book, Purposeful Breathing.

Discover skills that blend Eastern traditions and Western science to give you access to the life changing power of breathing and mental health exercises to help drop your anxiety levels. www.carers.net.nz

"There are common breathing changes that happen to almost everyone when they are very anxious," he says. "Breathing becomes sharper and high in the chest, and either the person then holds their breath, or their breathing rate escalates."

"These are distinct patterns without any depth of exhalation, and both keep the person stuck in the fight or flight anxiety state."

"I think this happens for almost everyone when they become anxious and it is certainly true for me. I notice if I feel stressed and anxious, I often have a high breath and shallow exhalation."

To manage anxiety, it really helps to focus on exhalation, he says.

"If you can take a slow, deep, extended exhalation, you quickly begin to lower the anxiety level."

‘Quickly’ is a tricky word here, because when people are anxious, they want to take rapid steps to fix their anxiety and remove the threat.

The rapid calm of breathing comes from breathing slowly and exhaling fully. It is rapid because in one or two breaths you can drop your anxiety level by 20% to 30%.

"I say that because in working with people suffering anxiety I often ask them to rate their anxiety on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is totally relaxed, like being at the beach on a warm summer’s day, and 10 is feeling totally overwhelmed by anxiety," Greg says.

"It takes a few minutes to teach the technique but typically people will go from 7 to 5; 6 to 4; or occasionally 8 to 4. The amount of reduction averages about 30% on the scale."

"I find almost everyone can drop their anxiety rate by 2 points within a few breaths."

The key, he says, is to breathe diaphragmatically and slowly.

"If you are in an anxious state it is often easiest to learn belly breathing first."

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Belly breathing

This is often the quickest and easiest way for people to use their diaphragm, producing a sense of being calm and centred.

Sit with a straight back and with your feet on the floor, and place one hand on your chest and one hand over the navel. As you breathe, notice which hand moves more: with your inhalation or exhalation?

Many people typically 'chest breathe', so that during an inhalation the hand on the chest moves outward more than the other hand. For belly breathing the simple guideline is: breathing in, the belly goes out; breathing out, the belly goes in.

To get the feeling of this, it helps to actively use the muscles of your abdomen on the exhalation, squeezing in the belly to squeeze the air out.

It can also help to gently push in on the belly with the hand when breathing out—this focuses attention there and helps you get used to the movement.

The main movement should be felt in the belly rather than the chest.

Belly breathing is relatively easily learned, even when people are highly anxious, and has a calming effect.

Once you are more practised at belly breathing, the focus will move to the diaphragm.

The belly should gently and passively move out on the inhalation as the diaphragm contracts and pulls down.

The emphasis in belly breathing is on the exhalation, which can be extended by drawing in the abdominal muscles.

Belly breathing is great for relaxing at night, and Greg has taught it to many people who have difficulty with sleep.

Lying down on your back, put one hand on your belly; breathing in, your hand goes gently up, and breathing out it goes

gently down. Breathing like this can help sleep because it has a physically relaxing effect (by switching on the rest and relax response) and because it gives the mind a gentle focus—many people have trouble sleeping because their minds are racing or churning over worries, so this helps to shift out of the talking and thinking mode into gentle body-awareness sensing mode.

Just keep breathing

It may sound a bit dumb to say it, but often the most important thing to do is just keep breathing.

The more you focus on breathing, the more you can become aware of it as a simple source of joy, he says.

"Even a single breath, when given our full attention, is a powerful reminder that we are alive, and what a remarkable thing that is. It directs attention to the drawing in of life energy. It allows our physicality to be felt as an active thing, interlinked with emotions and ways of thinking."

"Just stopping now and again and taking a few purposeful breaths feels good, grounds you in your body and, depending on the style of the breath, can be calming, centering, or energising."

Purposeful Breathing Available from booksellers, or at www.exislepublishing.com $34.99 1 of 5 copies of Purposeful Breathing. Entry form, page 8.

Breathing to stop panic attacks Panic attacks can be terrifying. They are an extreme, powerful surge of anxiety.

Typically in a panic attack, the person feels extreme anxiety and hyperventilates, breathing very fast and shallow. Often people worry that they are going to die, fearing heart attacks or complete collapse.

Using the breath is a powerful way to control and stop panic attacks.

As a first step, it helps to recognise a panic attack for what it is.

After you have one it is good to get a medical check to make sure that, for example, fear of having a heart attack is not because you are actually at risk of a heart attack.

Once medical issues are ruled out, you can learn to recognise a panic attack when it happens and to know that it will pass.

This acts to stop a common vicious cycle in which the initial anxiety kicks

34 FamilyCARE

off a feeling of being anxious about being anxious, and panicking about the panic, so that everything worsens. Recognising it means you can know it is unpleasant but not ultimately harmful, and this helps it to pass more quickly.

One of the frightening things about panic attacks is that hyperventilation produces very strong effects.

Because you are breathing so fast, you breathe out way too much carbon dioxide, which results in less oxygen to the brain.

This can lead to dizziness, trouble thinking clearly, and a host of other symptoms.

In the middle of a panic attack, slow, deep breathing will have a profound and positive effect, but generally you have to have a well-established breathing practice to be able to do it in the middle of a panic attack because the tendency to be caught in hyperventilation is very strong.

It takes some muscular effort to control the breathing at a time like this.

"I can testify it works, but it is much better if you can you try to recognise the buildup to the panic attack," Greg says.

"Then, using slow, deep diaphragmatic breathing will be calming and prevent escalation."

Once you practice enough, you can control it even with an attack.

One of Greg's clients, Penny, who had a history of panic attacks, found that she could develop control over her breathing, and that it worked best for her to breathe in for a count off four then breathe out for a count of eight.

She could stop the attacks within a minute.

Another option is to pause after exhaling.

"This brings the carbon dioxide balance back up," Greg says.

"This isn’t always easy to do if you are panicking but it brings your system back into balance."

www.carers.net.nz

feature

Shingles awareness

Take steps to prevent this painful condition, and know its symptoms.

Shingles is an uncomfortable infection which may strike without warning.

Once you’ve had chickenpox, the virus doesn’t ever go away.

Instead, it lies dormant in the nerve tissue of the spinal cord. If it becomes active again, it is known as shingles.

You can only get shingles if you’ve ever had chickenpox.

Which unfortunately happens to the majority of New Zealanders!

Shingles is also a virus in which the chances of getting it increase with age.

Although not life threatening in itself, about 1 in 3 people will go on to have ongoing issues for months or years after the initial virus has cleared up, so it’s best avoided if possible.

The good news is that there are ways to minimise your chances of getting shingles.

Here’s some up to date information on what it is, how to avoid it, and vaccines currently available in New Zealand.

What are shingles?

Shingles is a reactivation of the chickenpox virus (varicella zoster).

If you’ve ever had chickenpox, the virus stays in your body, lying dormant in the nerve tissue of the spinal cord. If it becomes active again, it is known as shingles. You can only get shingles if you’ve ever had chickenpox. www.carers.net.nz

Symptoms

Shingles triggers

It is not known exactly what causes the virus to become active again.

However, there are several factors which may increase your risk of shingles.

Age (up to half of people over 80 can expect to get shingles) ♦ A weakened immune system ♦ Rheumatoid arthritis ♦ Inflammatory bowel disease ♦ Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease ♦ Asthma ♦ Chronic kidney disease ♦ Depression ♦ Sleep disorders ♦ Type 1 and 2 diabetes

Shingles starts with a tingling, burning, painful sensation on the skin, followed by a red rash. Often there are blisters, which break and form small ulcers that begin to dry and form crusts. These fall off in two to three weeks, and usually heal without scarring. The rash is typically confined to small areas of the body, appearing along nerve pathways. It strikes one side of the body, often the back or chest, but can also affect the face, eyes, tongue, and ears.

Treatment

Antiviral treatment can reduce pain and complications and shorten the course of the disease. But you need to see your GP as soon as possible for it to work, during the tingling, burning phase before the rash starts. Your GP can diagnose shingles by looking at your skin and checking your medical history. A skin sample may be included. Also seek medical advice if your shingles symptoms persist or worsen.

Is it contagious?

You can’t catch shingles directly from someone else, or pass it on to someone.

However, if you’ve never had chickenpox, or received the chickenpox vaccine, you can catch chickenpox from close contact with someone who has shingles, because the blisters contain the chickenpox virus.

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Infection is spread when the rash is in the blister phase.

Once the rash develops crusts, the person is no longer infectious.

Shingles is less contagious than chickenpox and the risk is further reduced if the rash is covered.

If you have shingles, you should: ✓ cover the rash ✓ avoid touching or scratching the rash ✓ wash your hands regularly to prevent the spread of varicella zoster virus ✓ avoid contact with the following high risk groups until the rash has developed crusts: - pregnant women who have not had chickenpox or the chickenpox vaccine - premature or low birth weight infants - people with weakened immune systems, such as those receiving immunosuppressive medications, undergoing chemotherapy, organ transplant recipients, and people with HIV infection

Self-Care Tips

Antihistamines taken by mouth or applied to the skin may reduce itching (ask your health care provider for advice). ✿ Pain medicines can be very helpful, as can cool, wet compresses. ✿ Zostrix, a cream containing capsaicin (an extract of pepper), can reduce the pain of post-herpetic neuralgia. ✿ Soothing baths and lotions, such as colloidal oatmeal baths, starch baths, or calamine lotion, may help to relieve itching and discomfort. ✿ The skin should be kept clean, and contaminated items such as wipes and tissues should not be reused. ✿ Linens and clothing should be washed in boiling water or disinfected before reuse.

Complications

Shingles can result in serious complications, particularly visual impairment if the virus affects the eye areas (seek urgent medical help if this happens).

It can also cause intense pain called post-herpetic neuralgia, which can be debilitating and persist for long periods after the rash has gone.

This is more likely to occur in people over the age of 60.

Often described as a burning or shooting pain, with itching, numbness, tingling or sensitivity to touch or temperature, post-herpetic neuralgia can carry on for months to years.

Up to 20 per cent of people over 80 who get shingles have persistent pain for three months or longer, compared to five per cent of those aged 50-59 who have had shingles.

Immunisation

Immunisation against shingles is recommended, primarily because statistics indicate that approximately one third of people will develop shingles in their lifetime, with 50% of people developing it by the age of 85.

Recent studies also show that receiving a shingles vaccine may decrease your chances of stroke. The inflammation 36 FamilyCARE

caused by getting shingles has been linked to an increased risk of stroke.

Zostavax is the herpes zoster vaccine currently available to New Zealanders.

It is fully subsidised for people aged 65 years. This means that a patient is eligible for a vaccine from when they turn 65 years, until they turn 66 years.

For a period of two years, people aged 66 to 80 years can also receive a fully funded catch-up vaccination.

There is a newly developed shingles vaccine, Shingrix, recently registered for use in the USA. However it is not currently available in New Zealand.

For more information on the shingles vaccine go to https://www.health. govt.nz/your-health/conditions-andtreatments/diseases-and-illnesses/ shingles Some people aged under 65 years who are at increased risk of shingles may also want to think about having the vaccination, although it is not funded for this group.

Cost is estimated at $200 for a single dose (talk to your GP).

The effectiveness of the vaccine does decrease over time so early vaccination may mean that protection is lost in older age when there is a higher risk of developing shingles and its complications.

Should I NOT get the shingles vaccine?

The vaccine contains a live but very mild version of the virus, so it can be dangerous in those who have weakened immune systems.

Those who should not have the shingles vaccine include: ✓ Women who are or may be pregnant ✓ A person who has ever had a lifethreatening or severe allergic reaction to gelatin, the antibiotic neomycin, or any other component of the shingles vaccine (tell your doctor if you have any severe allergies) ✓ A person who has a weakened immune system because of cancer treatment such as radiation or chemotherapy, or a history of cancer affecting the bone marrow or lymphatic system such as leukaemia or lymphoma ✓ A person who has a disease which affects the immune system, such as HIV/AIDS ✓ A person who has a weakened immune system due to treatment with drugs that may affect it, such as steroids

What if I have had shingles recently?

If you have had shingles recently, your immunity has been boosted and this reduces the chances of getting shingles again in the short term.

Therefore, it is recommended that you wait at least a year before getting the shingles vaccine.

How is the shingles vaccine administered?

The shingles vaccine is given as a subcutaneous injection (injected under your skin). It is given as one dose.

Possible side effects

Like all medicines, vaccines can cause side effects, although not everyone gets them.

These are common, usually settling within a few days.

For pain at the injection site, an ice pack for a few minutes may help.

Rest, drink plenty of fluids, and contact your GP if symptoms are ongoing: • Headache • Feeling unwell, tired, or weak • Fever • Pain and redness at the injection site www.carers.net.nz

Heart healthy

www.carers.net.nz

recipes

We hope you enjoy Professor Catherine Itsiopoulos's recipes from her new book, The Heart Health Guide.

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recipes

Catherine is the bestselling author of The Mediterranean Diet and The Mediterranean Diet Cookbook, and also Pro Vice Chancellor of he College of Science, Health, Engineering and Education at Murdoch University.

The accredited dietician's latest book features more than 80 recipes with easy to follow meal plans and clear advice about why Mediterranean diets are recommended by cardiologists around the world.

Diet is a key factor in preventing and reducing the risk factors of heart disease and diabetes, helping with weight management, and promoting longevity.

We've chosen a few of Catherine's recipes to share!

HEALTHY FISH AND CHIPS

Following a heart healthy diet does not mean you need to miss out on fish and chips! Try different fillets and be adventurous with the vegetable chips for colour and variety.

INGREDIENTS 500g white fish fillets 2 eggs, lightly beaten ½ cup (50g) wholegrain breadcrumbs (gluten free if preferred) 1 sweet potato, cut into chips 1 purple sweet potato, cut into chips 2 parsnips, cut into chips 2 large carrots, cut into chips Extra virgin olive oil, for brushing Sea salt, freshly ground black pepper Fresh herbs and lemon wedges, if on hand METHOD Line two large baking trays with baking paper. Dip each fish fillet into the beaten egg, coating completely. Let any excess drip off, then dip in the breadcrumbs to coat completely. Place on one prepared tray, cover, then refrigerate for 1 hour.

Preheat the oven to 200ºC. Spread the vegetables around the other prepared tray and brush with the olive oil.

Season generously with salt and pepper and roast for 30 minutes, turning halfway through if needed until golden and crisp.

Meanwhile, transfer the fish to the oven to bake for 15-20 minutes, or until it is golden and cooked through.

Garnish with fresh herbs and lemon wedges and serve.

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CITRUS AND FENNEL SALAD

This vibrant citrus salad is rich in Vitamin C and is a typical dish of Spanish and Sicilian cuisines.

INGREDIENTS 2 oranges Optional: 1 blood orange or 1 Cara Cara orange 2 mandarins 1 pink or other grapefruit Juice 2 limes ½ fennel bulb, plus fronds 1 small red onion 1-2 tbsp flaked almonds 1 tbsp finely chopped mint, plus extra leaves to serve Extra virgin olive oil Sea salt and freshly grated black pepper

METHOD Peel the oranges, mandarins and grapefruit, then carefully slice them into rounds using a sharp knife.

Arrange these rounds in a shallow salad bowl, then squeeze the lime juice over the top.

Finely slice the fennel lengthways and scatter over the citrus.

Finely slice the red onion and scatter over the salad.

Sprinkle over the flaked almonds, mint and fennel fronds, then dress with a drizzle of olive oil.

Season with salt and pepper to taste, then serve.

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recipes

LEMONY YOGHURT TART

An impressive-looking tart for that special occasion. Best of all, it's nutritious and guilt-free, as the base is full of healthy nuts and the filling is made from Greek-style yoghurt and honey.

INGREDIENTS Extra virgin olive oil, for greasing Fresh berries, to serve Base ½ cup (75g) almonds ¼ cup (35g) shelled pistachios ¼ cup (35g) shelled hazelnuts 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon Fine sea salt 3 pitted dates, soaked in boiling water for 10 minutes 3 dried figs (see note below), soaked in boiling water for 10 minutes Filling 3 eggs ½ cup (115g) caster sugar 80g honey Zest and juice of 2 lemons ½ tsp ground nutmeg, plus extra for dusting 1 cup (250g) thick Greek-style yoghurt METHOD Preheat oven to 180ºC. Lightly grease a 20cm fluted tart tin with a removable base with olive oil.

Line the base with baking paper.

Place the nuts, cinnamon and a pinch of salt in a food processor and pulse until you have a coarse mixture (the base should have texture and crunch).

Drain the soaked dates and figs, add and blend again until the mixture starts to stick together.

Press the base mixture into the base and side of the tart tin, ensuring it is evenly spread.

Bake for 10-12 minutes, or until the base starts to brown around the edge; set aside.

To make the filling, lower the oven temperature to 150ºC. Whisk the eggs and sugar until well combined; add the honey and lemon zest and gradually add the lemon juice while whisking. Add the nutmeg and yoghurt and whisk.

Pour this mixture on top of the nut base and spread out evenly. Bake in the centre of the oven for 30 minutes, or until the www.carers.net.nz

filling is set and the middle is still a little wobbly. Allow to cool in the tin.

Eat on the day of cooking if you like a custardy consistency. Alternatively, place in the fridge for a couple of hours or overnight for a firer consistency.

Decorate with the berries and a dusting of the extra nutmeg before serving.

The Heart Health Guide Macmillan, $34.99 Your own copy! Entry form, page 8.

FamilyCARE 39

IS YOUR WORKPLACE CARER FRIENDLY?

CARERS NZ CAN HELP!

IF YOU'RE A CARER, ASK YOUR EMPLOYER TO BE CAREWISE

www.carewise.net.nz EASY STEPS TO CREATE A CARER FRIENDLY WORKPLACE

1

Employers commit to being CareWise

5

Workplaces receive a CareWise welcome pack and recognition certificate

2

They test how carer friendly they currently are using our Self-Review

6

Carers NZ provides free resources for carers, updates, and fun things for CareWise workplaces

3

They learn how to be more carer friendly in five priority areas

7

NZ and global research and news about are regularly shared with CareWise employers

4

Our Action Plan template helps employers tailor steps to create a carer friendly workplace

8

Carers NZ supports working carers and their employers at an early stage, to help carers keep working and earning!

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Carer friendly workplaces Almost 90% of New Zealand’s family carers are working age, 15 to 65

1 in 8

NZ employees family carers

Carers can struggle to juggle the support they give to family members who are frail, unwell, or have a chronic condition or disability with earning an income. CareWise is a programme to help employers support caring staff.

There is no cost to be CareWise.

Creating a country of carer friendly workplaces is important for carers, their families, and New Zealand. About 10% of New Zealand’s carers give up work to care - together we can help them keep working and earning.

Launched during the nationwide lockdown earlier this year, CareWise makes it easy for employers to be carer friendly. This is more important than ever as New Zealand deals with the challenges of COVID-19.

New Zealand is one of the first countries in the world to have a programme like CareWise, developed in association with Business NZ, employers, industry networks and associations, and government agencies.

Supported by the Ministry of Social Development, CareWise gives employers the tools to help carers stay in work. Often carers feel they need to give up their jobs early access to information, advice, and support can make all the difference.

Employers who would like to recognise and assist the carers in their workplace can visit https://carewise.net.nz

EMPLOYERS can find out about the programme at https://www.carewise.net.nz - it takes just a few minutes to sign up.

WORKING CARERS receive information, advice and support to help them keep working and earning. We also provide individual support via the Carers NZ helpline, free infopacks, and more.

CARERS WANTING TO RETURN TO WORK can link with participating CareWise employers who have an open door hiring policy for family carers!

Committing to be CareWise takes just a few minutes.

Join the Mental Health Foundation, IHC, Suncorp, the Restaurant Association of NZ, Laura Fergusson Brain Injury Trust Canterbury, NZ Health Group and other CareWise employers - Carers NZ will support you to be carer friendly every step of the way!

CARERS, SHARE YOUR STORIES! What are the realities of working while also caring for a friend or family member? Help to raise awareness by sharing your story!

Become CareWise - be a carer friendly employer Carers NZ will keep you informed about issues important to family carers, and provide practical one to one support for caring staff. We can also help you lead carer focus groups in your workplace!

Contact us on 0800 777 797 or email centre@carers.net.nz www.carers.net.nz

FamilyCARE 41

COVID-19 Information for family, whānau, and āiga carers October 2020

Carers are important and working hard during COVID-19 Carers are important and make a significant contribution to the quality of the lives of the friends, family, whānau and āiga members they care for and support. Caring is at the heart of a compassionate community and underpins who we are and what we value. Carers’ work is of huge social and economic value to New Zealand.

The role of a carer becomes even more challenging during New Zealand’s response to the COVID-19 pandemic. You are performing a key frontline role in keeping things together in your families, whānau and āiga and we acknowledge and value you.

There’s lots of helpful information for carers We know that you may be doing more than usual, so we are thinking of you in how we provide information, funding and how you access services. Some of the answers are evolving and we will work with Carers NZ, members of the Carers Alliance, service providers and other partners to keep you informed.

This information has been brought together to make it easy for you to find the support and advice carers need at this time. While we will revise this resource as required, things do change, so please regularly check the links included here and continue to get your information from the following recommended websites: https://covid19.govt.nz/ and https://www.health.govt.nz/

New Zealand COVID-19 Alert Levels COVID-19 is likely to be with the world for some time. We must be aware and manage the risks for ourselves and the people we care for. In New Zealand, our Alert Level system is used to describe the level of risk and the restrictions that must be followed at each level. Stay informed about New Zealand’s current alert levels and what this means for you and those you support with more information here

Health and disability How to protect yourself and the people you care for Some people are more vulnerable to illnesses. This can include both the people you care for and some of you who are carers. There are simple steps that can be taken to protect you and your family, whānau and āiga.

Good hygiene is very important - regularly wash and thoroughly dry your hands, and cough and sneeze into your elbow. It’s also important to regularly clean high-touch objects, items and surfaces; and stay home and seeking medical advice if unwell and get a test where necessary. Physical distance from other people who we 42 FamilyCARE

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don’t know or see regularly is also important. Use face masks or coverings on public transport and when you can’t physically distance from others you don’t know.

The ‘bubble of protection’ around vulnerable people, and those they have contact with, is vital in preventing and managing the risk both of COVID-19 infection and its complications and other infectious diseases. We need to carefully manage our bubbles so that those who are more vulnerable can continue to be protected.

More information about how to protect yourself and others is available here

Assessment and testing for COVID-19 People with any COVID-19 symptoms should get assessed and may need to be tested. A COVID-19 test is free of charge, whether you have COVID-19 symptoms or not.

The nurse may wear personal protective equipment (such as a mask, gown, face shield and gloves) and will ask you questions about your symptoms, general health, where you live and who you live with.

Testing is done by swabbing the back of your nose or throat. A swab is like a small cotton-bud with a longer stick. The sample goes to a lab to be analysed. You will be told when and how you will get your results and what to do while you are waiting for the results.

More information on who should get assessed for a test for COVID-19, how testing works, and where to get tested can be found here

Contact tracing and remembering where you’ve been If someone has COVID-19, the local Public Health Unit will find out if anyone else may have been in contact with them, to see if they have also been infected. This is called contact tracing.

If you are called by our contact tracers, please take or return the call. The Public Health Unit, Ministry or Healthline will provide you with advice on self-isolation and check on your health and wellbeing.

Contact tracing allows for testing, isolation and treatment if required. It is a key part of our COVID-19 elimination strategy. More information on how contact tracing works can be found here An important part of contact tracing is remembering where you’ve been and who you’ve seen. You can use the NZ COVID Tracer ‘app’ that creates a digital diary, or the NZ COVID Tracer diary booklet to help. More information on keeping track of where you have been can be found here

What to do if you or the person you care for tests positive for COVID-19 If you test positive, you will have a ‘case interview’ and be asked to move into a quarantine facility as quickly as possible, unless other suitable arrangements are approved by the Medical Officer of Health. Moving to a quarantine facility is to ensure your health and welfare needs are met and to stop risk of infection to your family, whānau, āiga and community.

It is recognised that this approach may present a challenge for the people you might usually care for and for their families, whānau and āiga. People’s individual circumstances will be a strong consideration in terms of any decision made by the Medical Officer of Health. More information on testing positive and moving to a quarantine facility can be found here

Face masks and coverings Wearing a face mask or face covering helps reduce the risk of spreading COVID-19 when there are cases in the community. This is one of a range of important actions with hand hygiene; physical distancing; coughing and sneezing into your elbow; regular cleaning of high touch objects, items and surfaces; and staying home and seeking medical advice if unwell and getting a test where necessary.

All households should have a supply of masks for each household member. Face coverings such as a bandana or a scarf can also be used if you do not have a mask. www.carers.net.nz

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Face masks or coverings are mandatory on public transport from Alert Level 2 and above From Alert Level 2 and above, face masks or coverings are mandatory on public transport in New Zealand.

The Government has advised that children under 12 years and people with a disability or physical or mental health condition which makes it difficult to wear a face mask or covering will be exempt.

It is also important to trust that others are doing the right thing. If someone is not wearing a mask, they may have a legitimate reason. When near others you do not know who are not wearing a mask, try to keep a physical distance.

In Alert Level 1 it is not mandatory to wear a mask or face covering on public transport, but it is encouraged.

More information on face masks and coverings, and how to wear them correctly and safely, can be found at https://www.health.govt.nz/ here and https://covid19.govt.nz/ here

People at higher risk Information for people considered at higher risk of the effects of COVID-19 and for their family, whānau and āiga is available here

Caring for older people You can find information specifically for older people and their families, whānau and āiga during the COVID19 response here

Supporting a person with dementia You may be experiencing extra stress and pressure if you are supporting someone who has dementia during the COVID-19 response. More information for family, whānau, āiga carers and supporters of people with dementia who are living at home on how to stay well under different Alert Levels is available here

Caring for disabled people Information for disabled people and their families, whānau, āiga and carers during the COVID-19 response, as well as links to accessible information in alternate formats, is available here

Hospice patients and end-of-life care Guidance and information for people who receive hospice care in home and community settings to reduce the impact and spread of COVID-19 is available here

Parents A wide range of information and links to help you care for your tamariki, rangatahi and whānau (including explaining COVID-19, Well Child Tamariki Ora, parents with babies, whānau Māori, advice, support and resources) is available here

Getting disability support during COVID-19 Information and guidelines for disabled people, and their families, whānau, āiga and carers about health and disability support services at different Alert Levels is available here More information for disabled people and their family and whānau is available here

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Wellbeing It’s important to remember that, when you are caring for someone else, you also need to take care of yourself. A free national mental health and addiction support service is available 24/7 - call or text 1737.

Information on other places where you can find mental health and wellbeing support is available here

Welfare and social sector support Access to food and other essentials Accessing financial assistance to get food You may be able to get help through Work and Income. You don’t need to be an existing Work and Income client to get this help. To learn more, call 0800 559 009 or go to MyMSD at https://www.my.msd.govt.nz If you can’t leave your home to get food Support may be available to get food delivered if you can’t leave your home.

•

You can make online orders and arrangements through local supermarkets; or make arrangements with family and friends to pick up food.

•

If this is not possible, you can also seek assistance through community groups, food banks, or social service or health providers. You can find contact details for these groups on the Family Services Directory website https://www.familyservices.govt.nz/directory/

If you also need financial assistance, call Work and Income on 0800 559 009.

General Financial Support You may be eligible for financial help from Work and Income for urgent costs like: • • • • • •

food accommodation (rent, board, emergency housing) repairing or replacing appliances emergency dental treatment emergency medical treatment health travel costs

You don’t need to be on a benefit to get help. You can find out more information about financial support (including eligibility) here You can also call Work and Income on 0800 559 009 and check what else you might be eligible for at https://check.msd.govt.nz/ Work and Income clients During this time regular payments will continue, and Work and Income will continue to help over the phone and online as much as possible - including having appointments over the phone where possible.

You can use MyMSD at https://my.msd.govt.nz/ to update your personal details, check your payments and apply for help with things like one-off costs for food. If you still need help, you can call Work and Income on 0800 559 009. More information related to COVID-19 support and changes is available here Help for Carers Information on carer focused support available from Work and Income can be found here Please check the website regularly for the most up to date information.

www.carers.net.nz

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Lost your job due to COVID-19?

If you lose your job (including self-employment) from 1 March to 30 October 2020 due to COVID-19, you may be eligible for the COVID-19 Income Relief Payment. More information can be found here

Employer wage subsidies If you have a paid job outside of your caring role, your employer may be eligible for a wage subsidy. There’s more information about the wage subsidies, including the Leave Support Scheme available here Talk to your employer to see if they have applied for the scheme and if you are eligible for the payment. You can also check if your employer has applied for a wage subsidy here

Keeping up to date Please keep checking the key government sites for more information on the COVID response: https://covid19.govt.nz/ https://www.health.govt.nz/

What other information do you need?

If you have questions or other information you would like to see as a carer please use the links and numbers throughout this resource or get in touch with: •

centre@carers.net.nz

•

Carers NZ free on 0800 777 797

•

Continence NZ – Free Incontinence Help on 0800 650 659

•

Work and Income call free on 0800 559 009

•

Carers.strategy@msd.govt.nz

•

disability@health.govt.nz

•

Healthline COVID-19 enquiries – call free on 0800 358 5453

•

For guidance on any health issues, call Healthline free on 0800 611 116 or contact your local general practice

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Nationwide Counselling Services A range of advisory and counselling services are available in New Zealand. Many of these can be accessed by phone, text, or email. Don’t feel alone if you’re struggling – reach out for help.

1737

Free call or text 1737 to speak with a trained professional counsellor at any time 24/7.

Free counselling service: depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, feeling down or overwhelmed. Highly recommended as first point of contact for callers seeking help.

AIcohol Drug Helpline

0800 787 797 or text 8681 (24/7); online chat at www.alcoholdrughelp.org.nz If you are concerned about your own or someone else’s drinking or drug taking, the Alcohol and Drug Helpline can assist with information, insight and support.

Anxiety New Zealand

Helpline 0800 269 4389. Online therapy and Covid-19 help resources available. www.anxiety.org.nz

Depression Helpline

0800 111 757 or free text 4202 to talk to a trained counsellor for support or to ask any questions. www.depression.org.nz/contact-us

EAP Services

Employee Assistance Programme – providing practical assistance to employees when personal or work issues arise that may impact on their ability to do their job or affect their wellbeing (confidential counselling services across NZ and internationally).

Freephone: 0800 327 669 www.eapservices.co.nz

Gambling Helpline

24-hour Freephone: 0800 654 655 www.gamblinghelpline.co.nz

Kidsline

0800 543 754 (0800 KIDSLINE). For young people up to 18 years of age 24/7. www.kidsline.org.nz

Lifeline

0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE). Lifeline trained counsellors deal with many kinds of issues including psychological and emotional distress, financial and work issues, marriage and family/whānau problems and with callers who are lonely, ill, depressed or the victims of violence or abuse. Text ‘Help’ to 4357 www.lifeline.org.nz

Rural Support Trust

Helpline 800 787 254. Chat to someone who understands, because they’ve been there. www.rural-support.org.nz

Salvation Army

0800 53 00 00. Supporting families and individuals in need with budgeting advice, food and clothing assistance, life skills programmes and other comfort and support. www.salvationarmy.org.nz

Samaritans

0800 726 666. Confidential, non-religious and non-judgemental support to anyone who may be feeling depressed, lonely, or may be contemplating suicide. www.samaritans.org.nz

SPARX

An interactive self-help online tool for young people with mild to moderate depression and anxiety: www.sparx.org.nz 0508 477 279 or free text to 3110

Suicide Crisis Helpline

0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)

Supporting Families in Mental Illness

Northern Region, 0800 732 825; Central North Island, 0800 555 434; South Island, 0800 876 682. Information and support for families/whānau.

The Lowdown

Free text 5626. Support and information for young people experiencing depression or anxiety. www.thelowdown.co.nz

Victim Support

0800 842 846. Free 24/7 support. nationaloffice@victimsupport.org.nz www.victimsupport.org.nz

What’s Up

0800 942 8787 (0800 WHATSUP) For 5 - 18 year olds. Available 12.00pm – 11.00pm M-F or 3.00pm – 11.00pm weekends. Online chat is available from 5.00pm – 10.00pm daily at: www.whatsup.co.nz

Youthline

Mental Health and Addictions Service. Youthline works with young people, their families and those supporting young people. Call 0800 376 633; Free text 234; Email: talk@youthline. co.nz or online chat at www.youthline.co.nz

In emergencies always phone 111 www.wecare.kiwi

0800 777 797

centre@carers.net.nz

Choices NZ works with people with disabilities and health needs to achieve employment and thrive on the job. We partner with local businesses to make this happen.

We can provide employment-related case management, including any required and agreed coaching assistance, while working with you to identify open and inclusive employment opportunities.

Come talk to us today!

Visit our website: Choicesnz.org.nz

IDEA Services supports people with intellectual disabilities to enjoy great lives as part of their communities.

Supported Living • Residential Healthy Ageing • Specialist Services idea.org.nz