For Newly Married Couples: Handling Arguments
Compass Family Counseling 1001 16th St Suite 155 Denver, CO 80265 720-897-7151
More than a sacred union, marriage is an opportunity that allows couple to know each other. At the early stages of the married life, the couple tends to have some reservations. The lack of initiative to communicate these reservations, however, may cause arguments. The adage “All couples fight” is sometimes misleading. While it may be true, a person has to learn to differentiate the good or fair fight from the bad fight. The former involves mature individuals while the latter implicates petty and mundane matters. Often, the good fight is associated with the ways in which arguments should be handled. Here are some of the ways to make sure a discussion does not go out of control:
Raising Voices Defensive
spouses
often
raise
their voices to justify their being right. This is not the right way, however, to express views. Typically, raising one’s voices stimulates the other party’s fightor-flight response, which in turn may encourage the other spouse to raise their voice. Couples should keep in mind that raising voices do not strengthen their argument; it actually weakens it and renders it aggressive.
Learning Compromises Couples should learn that compromises are not just an agreement that weakens the cause. They are not just an indication of throwing the towel. In reality, compromises are what make couples realize the reason they made this commitment.
Understanding the Value of Touch Nonverbal cues and actions can help dissipate the heat of the argument. Instead of raising voices and giving out self-justifying remarks, couples should lower their voices and hold each other. Touching each other is one way to reconnect. These are only some of the things that newly married couples should keep in mind when handling arguments. If things get serious, couples should not hesitate to seek the counsel of a relationship therapist.
RESOURCES: http://familycounselingdenverco.com/counseling-services-denver/types-therapy/ http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Healthy-Fights-Arguments-That-Help-YourRelationship https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201306/bewaremistaken-marriage-advice-all-couples-fight
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