IS JEALOUSY NECESSARY IN RELATIONSHIPS?
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The matter of jealousy in the context of romantic relationships is often a point of contention.
Most
people
believe
it
is
necessary, in fact beneficial for preserving the relationship, while others see it as a sign of insecurity.
Researchers
also
have
varying
opinions, but they agree that it affects emotional, cognitive and behavioral aspects of the individuals involved. They also consider relationship counselling essential to avoiding negative implications of jealousy and fostering healthy expression of emotions. Defense against Threats Some evolutionary psychologists explain that jealousy serves as an effective mate retention
strategy.
Recognizing
potential
threats to the relationship helps preserve it. It acts like a shield from the constant danger presented by rivals and the risk for betrayal, prompting alertness as the first line of defense. In other words, jealousy is not a response to unfaithfulness exposed; rather, it is a preventive reaction, a strategy for deterring in fidelity that is always a possibility. Some researchers also learned that most people see jealousy as a sign of love and affirmation of commitment. A person who wants to block off threats from the relationship is a person who wants to protect the romantic bond. Given these representations of jealousy, about 75% of individuals reported they tried to make their significant other jealous at one point or another over the course of the relationship, according to one study.
Danger in Passion Although an indicator of love and commitment, some researchers believe jealousy may also pose extreme danger because it causes arguments. Not handled properly, a simply misunderstanding can develop into something deeper and may destroy the harmony and trust in the relationship. It also elicits distressing emotions, such as fear, anger, humiliation, abandonment, and sorrow. On top of these emotional issues, the cognitive processes are also affected. Hypervigilance, extreme anxiety and low self-esteem are just some of the negative consequences of jealousy. Most people develop suspicions and become more preoccupied about the partner’s possible infidelity, rather than focusing on nurturing the relationship. Sometimes, the impaired cognition caused by jealousy leads to acts of violence.
Healthy Expression of Emotions Jealousy is such a complex emotion that it is difficult to define its parameters—whether it is beneficial or detrimental to the relationship. The important matter that needs addressing, however, is the expression of jealousy, as this is the ultimate indicator of the emotion’s consequences to the relationship and to the parties involved. Proper communication of jealousy is important. The matter of jealousy in relationships is more than a question of necessity; it is an issue of expression of emotions. Relationship counselling can help foster effective communication.
RESOURCES: http://familycounselingdenverco.com/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200906/jealousy-loves-destroyer http://www.newsweek.com/study-jealousy-blinding-222768