The Graveyard Examiner #4 by Famous Monsters Of Filmland

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Greetings once again, boils and ghouls! Strap yourselves in, because we’ve got one heck of a jam-packed issue for you this time around! You won’t find a Featured Article this time, but you WILL find a fantastic excerpt from David J. Kowalski’s THE COMPANY OF THE DEAD (Page 10), an original review of the book (Page 31), and even some info on how to win your very own copy in our “CONTESTS” section! As always, it is our pleasure to provide you with helpful reviews of your favorite television shows, movies, comics, and collectibles. From THE WALKING DEAD to IMMORTALS to MONOCYTE, we’ve got what you’re looking for. Last, but certainly not least, on Page 29 you will find the debut of our new “FROM THE CRYPT” section, where comics guru Holly Interlandi discusses some uncovered gems that can’t afford to be lost in the past. Enjoy! Barrett Schwalenberg Editor-in-Chief FamousMonsters.com

Publisher PHILIP KIM (KONG)

Design Assistant JENNIFER W. GERRITSEN

Associate Publisher DOMINIE LEE

Senior Writer HOLLY INTERLANDI

Executive Editor (Famous Monsters Magazine) ED BLAIR

Business Development SEAN FERNALD

Editor-in-Chief (FamousMonsters.com/The Graveyard Examiner) BARRETT SCHWALENBERG

Kong-tributing Writers: ANDY GREENE ELVIS KUNESH BRANDON MOORE JOHN SCAPPINI INSPIRATION: FORREST J ACKERMAN

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TIME TRAVEL TRIVIA!! We here at FAMOUS MONSTERS absolutely love time travel, and we know you do too! Which is why we’ve decided to see how nuts you’ll go for a FM contest dedicated to twisting the space-time continuum! The Prizes: THE COMPANY OF THE DEAD

(Check Page 31 for The ED-itor’s review and Page 10 for an interesting and sizeable excerpt!)

Head on over to our CONTESTS PAGE to enter! While you’re there, check out the new WINNERS PAGE to see pictures of past FM Contest Winners & their prizes!!

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How do you like them apples? by Elvis Kunesh

“Mirror, Mirror on the wall, which new SNOW WHITE film is the fairest of them all?” It’s easy to imagine the Julia Roberts-starring MIRROR, MIRROR casting a critical eye upon its reflection this week, with Monday seeing the release of a new trailer from Universal’s SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN. The trailer gives a powerful glimpse of the dark and twisted interpretation starring Kristen Stewart (TWILIGHT) and Chris Hemsworth (THOR) as the titular characters. Though much of the spotlight here shines on Academy-Award winning Charlize Theron as the evil queen. What we see of her in the trailer goes a long way to rival the haunting version of the animated Disney classic. I was also delighted to see some of the seven Dwarves, including Bob Hoskins, Ian McShane

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and Nick Frost. Joining the trailer is an exclusive 5 minute extended preview from Xfinity, which you’ll find embedded below. The extended preview goes into a bit more detail regarding the premise and dynamics between characters. Both videos suggest that the film will be stretching the original story to its warped tastes, but still follow the same broad strokes. Snow White escapes into the forest, the Queen sends the Huntsman to find her, she finds safety with the seven Dwarves, and finally the Queen takes matters into her own hands. However this time that means mounting a LORD OF THE RINGS-proportioned crusade. Echoes of 2010’s ALICE IN WONDERLAND stir my memory (which the trailer is sure to reminds us of) but where the epic warfare and sword-brandishing Alice seemed a bit silly, here everything rings true. The darker tone seems consistent and is well established in the trailer. Where as ALICE had to cow-tow to a certain level of comedy and Tim Burton, SNOW WHITE *appears to be* firing on all cylinders.

to stop crime in a preventative method by acting as a symbol of good for children. “This is my job, this is my battle.”

BATMAN UNMASKED by Elvis Kunesh So, it turns out Batman is real. And he lives in Brazil. The caped crusader is none other than André Luiz Pinheiro, a 50 year old retired police officer. But instead of catching criminals by night, he’s playing with children and speaking at schools in broad daylight. Dwelling within the crime-ridden depths of Taubaté, Brazil (a city rivaling Gotham’s infamy) Pinheiro works in a playful and preventative method. He hopes

In the above feature produced by the BBC, you can see the Brazilian Batman utilizing communication skills and extra-curricular activities to reach out to the children of the community. Pinheiro’s love of comic books and superheroes began his Bat-career as he would appear at childen’s parties and town events, but was quickly embraced by the police force as an opportunity to combine efforts in teaching children the difference between good and bad. An inspiring story of an ordinary man donned a costume to become a reallife superhero in children’s hearts. But it seems like he’s not actually the real Batman. I guess maybe I overreacted by accidentally burning my daughter’s face, forever scarring her and sending her down a path of envy, discrimination and revenge. It’s a shame she doesn’t have some responsible authority figure in her life like Pinheiro to teach her right from wrong. I sure as heck can’t do it, I’ve got a highway to clean.

RECENT HEADLINES WALKING DEAD: MICHONNE IS HERE... FINALLY! ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER - NEW TRAILER FULL “PROMETHEUS” TRAILER LAUNCHES THE PREMIERE OF THE “DARK SHADOWS” TRAILER

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THE COMPANY OF THE DEAD I APRIL 21, 2012 NEW YORK CITY, EASTERN SHOGUNATE Captain John Jacob Lightholler woke with a start. Having spent the better part of a fortnight aboard the Titanic, he was pleasantly reassured to find himself in his hotel suite at the Waldorf-Astoria. Nightmares had plagued him through restless nights at sea. Never an easy sleeper, he’d attributed them to fatigue, yet still they persisted. By daylight they would slip from his mind, leaving a filmy residue that often darkened his mood. Nightly he would find himself back aboard the ship, not as its captain but as a fixture of the vessel. A figurehead like those that had adorned the ships of old, pinned to the prow as it ploughed forward into a shelf of ice that stretched out, vast as a continent, before him. The last few days were a blur. Speeches, luncheons, keys to the city. He’d been hounded by the media, who delighted in reporting the fact that he was a direct descendent of two of the Titanic’s most notable voyagers: Charles Lightholler, the original ship’s Second Officer; and John Jacob Astor, the first class passenger who had gone on to become the Union’s third President. It served to distract the public from the darker aspects of the voyage. The last minute inclusion of the Japanese-Russian peace talks aboard ship had proved a disappointment. Under the supervision of the supposedly neutral German diplomats, no satisfactory conclusion had been reached. What had begun as a skirmish between Russian and Japanese soldiers over a border town in Manchuria held the threat of becoming a full-scale war. Newspapers carried accounts of mounting violence in Asia and the Eastern provinces of Russia, as the Japanese Imperial forces held to their westward advance. Both the Russians and Japanese had maintained a veneer of civility, despite the inconclusive nature of the peace talks. Over the past week, under the pretence of social gatherings, Lightholler

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had been closely questioned by Russian and Japanese envoys alike; both parties displaying a surprising interest in his take on the conference. The Germans, who had up till now remained out of the escalating conflict in Asia, seemed particularly intrigued by his opinions on the subject. He licked parchment-dry lips. His head throbbed. He gingerly picked up the phone at his bedside and ordered breakfast and the morning paper. He was told that a stack of messages awaited him at the lobby desk. He replaced the phone and lay back on the bed, gazing dreamily at the ceiling, lulled sleepwards by the faint sounds of the New York morning that drifted through his hotel window. He was jolted out of his reverie by a knock at the door. He eased himself out of the bed and grabbed a dressing gown that lay draped over his bedside chair. Padding down the short hallway to the door, he opened it. Three men who stood at the entrance, decked out in grey suits. They shared the haggard appearance of journalists chasing an elusive story. “I’m not doing any interviews today,” he said thickly. “We’re not reporters, Captain,” the tallest of them said with a ready smile. “We’re here on government business.” His voice, rich in timbre, held the slightest tremor. Lightholler couldn’t place the accent. He arched an eyebrow, saying, “Which government?” “We’re from Houston.” The smile faded as the man drew a wallet out of his coat jacket and flashed his identification. Lightholler peered forward to examine the card. It identified the man as Joseph Kennedy, an agent of the Confederate Bureau of Intelligence. He scrutinised his visitor. “Captain, if we could have a few moments of your time.” “Not today,” Lightholler replied curtly. “You can contact me via the offices of the White Star Line on Monday if you wish,” He began to close the door. One of the other men wedged his foot forward and placed a wide hand on the door’s frame. He was stocky, his red hair cut close to his scalp. He raised his glance leisurely to meet Lightholler’s. Lightholler sighed. “You’re Confederates. You have no jurisdiction here.” “We’re well aware of that, Captain. However, we have a delicate matter we need to discuss with you,” Kennedy said. “A matter of some urgency.” Lightholler wondered at the delicacy involved in having three Confederates barge into his hotel suite at this early hour. Relations between the Union and Confederate States remained cool at best, even though the Second Secession had occurred eighty years ago. That the separation of the Southern States hadn’t lead to outright civil war that time did little to alleviate the ill feelings that remained between the two neighbours.

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Kennedy now appeared more familiar to Lightholler as he swept the years away from the stranger’s visage. The red haired man was unknown. The third man, however, had been aboard the Titanic. He’d claimed to be an historian. Kennedy glanced over his shoulder, bared a toothy grin, and added, “Besides, you don’t want your breakfast to get cold.” They stood aside to reveal a thin negro, dressed in the white livery of the Waldorf’s staff. He was carrying a silver dining tray. “Excuse me, Captain,” he said, smiling. “Eggs Benedict, toast, Virgin Mary, and coffee?” Lightholler stepped back, nodding. “Yes, yes, I suppose so. Thank you.” He motioned the man toward the drawing room. Kennedy waited for the attendant’s departure before speaking again. “This is Commander David Hardas.” He waved expansively toward the thickset man who nodded in acknowledgment. “You’ve met Darren Morgan,” Kennedy added. Lightholler nodded. “Yes, on my ship.” He tightened the sash around his dressing gown. “So you’re Joseph Kennedy.” “Yes.” “The Joseph Kennedy.” Kennedy smiled. Lightholler reappraised the situation. Major Joseph Robard Kennedy, the great-grandson of Joseph Kennedy the First. Joseph the Patriarch. This Kennedy had enjoyed a brief but distinguished career in the Second Ranger war, back in the 1990s. Leading the shattered remains of a Confederate division through the San Juan Mountains and across the Rio Grande, he’d cut the supply-lines of the invading Mexican army. The subsequent arrival of the German Atlantic fleet in the Gulf of Mexico had led to the hasty withdrawal of Mexican troops. For the Texans it had been the third war they had fought with the Mexicans in a hundred years. In 1920 the Mexicans had invaded the former United States of America and were only beaten after a protracted two-year conflict that bled both countries dry. Soon after America had endured the secession of the southern states, while Mexico had experienced its last great revolution. The second time the Mexicans went to war with America, in the late 1940s, it was as the newly established Mexican Empire. Having absorbed its neighbours to the south, and following the occupation of Cuba, Mexico had turned its attention back northward. The Texas Rangers, forming the bulwark of the Confederate defence, had narrowly defeated them, thereby lending their name to the conflict. Barely fifty years later, the Second Ranger War had been another close call for the South. Though it could be argued that it was German intervention that halted the conflict, it was a Kennedy, once again, who had been the man of the moment. Riding high on his popularity, Joseph Kennedy had run for President of the Confederacy in 1998, but without success. His ingenuous policies were attributed to youth but it was the stigma of his name that haunted him throughout his fleeting political career. Even then, Lightholler supposed, over thirty years after the event, Southerners recalled the blood spilled at Dealey Plaza. There had been little news about Joseph Kennedy since his departure from politics. Now, it appeared, he was working with Confederate intelligence. A curious form of backsliding to say the least. The easy grin that had adorned the television broadcasts of the time was barely been altered by the passage of time. He still looked like he was in his early forties, at most. “Just what is it you want, Mister Kennedy?” Lightholler asked.

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Hardas coughed quietly, and reached into his coat pocket. Lightholler stepped back abruptly. Kennedy let loose a good-natured laugh. “Captain, please, it’s not like that.” He nodded toward Hardas, who continued. “Here. This might help clear things up.” Hardas drew a slender cream envelope from his pocket and handed it to Lightholler. The thick red wax bore the seal of King Edward IX. Lightholler slit the envelope with a thumbnail. The letter within was brief and to the point. He shook his head slowly. Without looking up he turned and made his way back down the short corridor. They followed him into the drawing room. Hardas walked over to a window and rested a hand on the sill. He whistled softly to himself as his gaze took in the room’s opulence. “Hell, Major,” he said, “I think I might just have to sign up with White Star.” Kennedy gave him a half-smile, then turned to Lightholler. “Captain, I take it the letter’s contents are clear to you?” “They’re clear alright, Major. They just don’t make any sense.” Lightholler dragged a chair over to the dining table. Absently, he waved the others to find seats. They took up positions on the various plush chairs that lined the room. The letter was dated April 19th, written soon after his arrival in New York. The message was terse, the orders precise. He was instructed to offer the CBI his services, until further notice. He folded the document carefully and placed it in one of his pockets. “There must be some mistake.” “Why is that, Captain?” Kennedy enquired. “Because I resigned my commission in the Royal Navy prior to leaving Southampton. I’m a civilian. These orders are from the War Ministry.” “If I’m not mistaken, they’re from the King himself,” Kennedy replied. Lightholler swore softly to himself. He’d seen it before. Associates who’d been demobbed, then shifted from military to civilian posts, usually high profile occupations. Within a few months their names would turn up in the local papers, brief obituaries marking their passing. It was a recognised variation in recruitment for Intelligence work. American officers, both Union and Confederate, called it “sheep-dipping.” But if that was the case here, why did London want him to work directly with the Confederacy, rather than M.I.5? And why hadn’t London informed him directly, instead of using agents from a nation that was at best, the ally of an ally. “Your director must be well connected,” Lightholler observed carefully. Kennedy grinned wolfishly. “Let’s just say that some people owe me a favour or two.” A scowl swept Morgan’s features. Hardas remained impassive. Lightholler’s initial shock was fading to be replaced by anger. “Mind if I smoke?” he asked. “Your room, your lungs,” Kennedy smiled. He glanced at Hardas. “I’m used to it.” Lightholler retrieved a packet of Silk Cuts from the window sill. Hardas rose from his seat and removed a butane lighter from his pocket. He lit Lightholler’s cigarette. “Mind if I join you, Captain?” He lit one of his own and returned to his chair, where he sat hunched forward, his cigarette cupped in both hands. He smoked rapidly. Navy, Lightholler thought, with too many years on deck. Hardas’s

hair was cut short, little more than a red tinge on his broad scalp. A scar, barely visible, ran from his hairline across the right temple. Morgan was eyeing the breakfast. Lightholler took another drag of his cigarette. Of the three, he looked the worse for wear. His face was pallid, accentuating the bags under his eyes. His forehead gleamed with a thin layer of drying perspiration, the kind that accompanied sleepless nights rather than any exertion. “You make an unusual group,” Lightholler said finally. He tapped the ash from his cigarette. “I’m surprised you were allowed past the hotel foyer. In fact, considering the recent events in Russia, I’m surprised you were allowed across the Mason-Dixon Line at all.“ “Well, Captain, these are strange times. And as I said earlier, people owe me favours.” “So what do you want from me?” Kennedy turned to Hardas with a gesture. Hardas lifted himself from his seat with a grunt. He mashed his cigarette into an adjacent ashtray. He then pulled a small rectangular object from one of his coat pockets. Lightholler gave Kennedy a puzzled look. Kennedy was examining his fingernails. The object in Hardas’ hand emitted a low whine. He held it before him sweeping it in broad strokes from side to side as he walked the extent of the room. Kennedy started whistling tunelessly through his teeth. “We’re clear, major,” Hardas said, returning to his seat. Kennedy’s whistle faded away. “Just a formality?” Lightholler asked. It seemed a little late in the conversation to be checking for surveillance devices. “A precaution,” Kennedy replied. “We need to talk to you about the Titanic.” “I thought I made it clear that I’m not doing any more interviews.” Lightholler forced his expression to appear amiable, keeping it light. “Not your Titanic,” said Kennedy. “I’m talking about the original ship.” This was becoming ludicrous, Lightholler thought. Confederate Security agents in his hotel room, with a letter of authority from the palace demanding his assistance, here to discuss a matter that was the focus of every magazine and news program across the planet. He forced a laugh. “Surely you didn’t cross half the continent to listen to stories about the original ship.” “No, Captain,” Morgan spoke up. “We crossed half the continent to tell you one.” Lightholler let his gaze fall on each of the men in turn. “Must be one hell of a story.” “It has its moments.” Kennedy rose out of his chair. He straightened his jacket. “But this isn’t the place to discuss it.” “Where did you have in mind?” Lightholler popped a slice of the toast into his mouth. “Dallas suits our purpose.” He almost choked. “Texas?”

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“You have three days. I’ve arranged a flight for Tuesday.” “That’s impossible,” Lightholler spluttered. “The Titanic is due to sail this Friday, after the Berlin Peace talks have concluded.” “She’ll sail without you,” Kennedy said. “You’ll have plenty of opportunity to return to the ship later.” Lightholler stood up quickly and walked over to where Kennedy was standing. “I’m going to contact my Embassy, Major. Perhaps I should have a chat with the local authorities, too. They might be interested to hear about your little invitation, not to mention your presence here in the Union.” “That wouldn’t be very wise, Captain. I’d hate to think of the complications that might cause you.” There didn’t seem to be any threat in Kennedy’s voice. If anything there was a touch of sadness. “You have three days,” he repeated. “Contact your superiors at the White Star Line. Get in touch with the Foreign Office in London if you need to confirm the letter’s authenticity, but be discreet.” Lightholler felt light-headed. It was all happening too fast. “Meet me here, Tuesday, two o’clock,” Kennedy concluded, handing Lightholler a card. Lightholler examined the piece of paper. The words ‘Lone Star Cafe’ were pencilled in broad strokes. The address was somewhere by Osakatown, in the East Village. Three days would be more than enough time to extricate himself from this predicament. He said, “I’ll consider it.” “Come alone. Don’t worry about your belongings—they’ll be taken care of.” “I’ll consider it.” Hardas and Morgan rose from their seats. They moved toward the hallway entrance. Kennedy nodded toward the letter in Lightholler’s pocket. “I’m afraid it’s out of your hands, Captain.” He pressed his lips together in a tight smile, “We’ll see ourselves out.” In the hour that followed, Lightholler checked his hotel suite door twice, making sure it was locked. He paced the floor and slammed his fist into the wall of his bedroom, leaving a faint impression in the plaster. He smoked seven cigarettes, lighting one from the other. He stood in the bathroom before the full-length mirror. He ran the palm of his aching hand over a stubbled chin, teeth clenched. Snatches of the conversation repeated themselves in his mind. The words playing over and over till their meaning was lost. White noise. You have three days... He went over to the shower, a glass-walled cubicle that took up nearly half the room. He ran the water cold at first, sending a shock through his frame, then slowly increased the heat. He looked up at the showerhead and screwed his eyes up tightly letting the furious stream blast into his face. He stood there in the water’s stream, eyes closed, hands braced against the wall, and pictured the great ship as his great-grandfather had described her, all those years ago.

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THE WALKING DEAD

Air Date: 3/11/2012 “Better Angels” by Andy Greene

Remember when THE WALKING DEAD was moving about as slow as the walkers themselves? Yeah, forget that ever happened. Just a week after Dale’s heartrending death (R.I.P.) comes another fearless, whopper of an ending. We open with a touching speech by Rick at Dale’s funeral, where he promises to lead Dale’s way from here on out, to try and “un-break” the group and prove Dale wrong: that they can survive in this harsh world yet also retain their humanity. Afterwards, they set to doing tasks they should’ve been doing a long time ago: strengthening the defenses of the farms and moving into Herschel’s house. Herschel, in a complete 180 from just a few episodes ago, is completely accommodating, offering his master bedroom to Rick, Carl and Lori and volunteering for couch duty.

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Shane (the always magnetic and magnificent Jon Bernthal), of course, disagrees with the new direction. Carl, struggling with his role in Dale’s death (he was unable to kill the zombie that ended up chewing on Dale’s torso), comes to Shane with his grief, guilt and Daryl’s gun. He wants Shane to give it back to Daryl and to keep everything a secret. As usual, Shane treats Carl like a man and with respect. If only he treated everyone like he does Carl. Later, Lori also pays Shane a visit. She apologizes for her behavior, for what happened before and since Rick’s appearance, and more importantly, thanks him. She thanks Shane for saving her life, for saving Carl’s life, all sentiments that were truly a long time coming. It’s a great scene between two great actors (Sarah Wayne Callies probably doesn’t get enough credit for playing one of the most polarizing characters on the show). Shane goes to Rick with Carl’s news. He thinks that Rick should talk to Carl, but Rick is focused on Randall and sending him on his way. Shane accuses Rick of having warped priorities. He should talk to his son, should help him, should give him the gun back to keep him safe. And, of course, Shane’s right, but his delivery leaves much to be desired, but despite their argument, Rick does go to see Carl, the latest salvo in the battle for being the better father...

invites Henry inside. Once there, he needs fresh blood to heal, so Aidan pulls a TRUE BLOOD and “glamour’s” a couple college aged gals upstairs for a vampire sex romp gone horribly, horribly wrong.

BEING HUMAN

Air Date: 3/12/2012 “When I Think About You I Shred Myself” Review by Andy Greene

Even without Nora and her wolfpack, BEING HUMAN improves by the week. This week we get a frightening resolution (of sorts) in Sally’s Reaper storyline, Aidan helps the skinless Henry heal while he ruminates over their shared past, and the awesome Jay Baruchel guest stars as Josh’s deceased friend Stu, who, ahem, complicates Josh’s relationship with his original ex, Julia (When I think about Natalie Brown I _____ myself).

Having accepted her role as a future reaper (and helping to shred poor Stevie in the process), Sally now undergoes her training with the man she’s eventually replacing, the Reaper (Dusan Dukic) himself. It doesn’t go well. Killing or “shredding” ghosts doesn’t sit well with her, and the Reaper is impatient for progress. When Boner (Reason #43 this show rules: there’s actually a character named Boner) pays a visit inquiring about Stevie’s disappearance, he reveals that the Reaper was lying, that Stevie hadn’t shredded anyone else, and that he wasn’t stalking the bullies of his high school days. Sally goes to Zoe (Susanna Fournier) to ask for advice on getting rid of the Reaper, but they are less than helpful, merely leading the Reaper to the ghost group Zoe meets with, who shreds all of them, including former love interest Nick (Pat Kiely). Oops. At the hospital, Josh sees Stu (in ghost form) for the first time since he was killed on the same camping trip that made Josh a werewolf. Clearly, there’s some resentment, but Stu says he has finally forgiven him in that whiny, scratchy voice of Baruchel’s that should be annoying but is instead endearing. After showing his face, Stu is always by Josh’s side…when Julia’s around. It’s no coincidence. Stu isn’t there for Josh. He’s following Julia, who he loved before Josh ever did....

To atone for his mistakes of the past and to rejoin Aidan and Suren’s ranks, Henry got flayed at the end of the last episode. While we were spared that image, we aren’t spared the creepy Red Skull-like results of Suren’s revenge. Aidan brings him to the house, which doesn’t sit well with Josh, who begrudgingly

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ONCE UPON A TIME

Air Date: 3/11/2012

“Red Handed”

Review by Andy Greene

After an abysmal effort last week, ONCE UPON A TIME throws a werewolf into the mix and, despite emerging werewolf fatigue, rebounds nicely. This week is a Ruby and Red Riding Hood-centric episode, with the investigation of Kathryn’s disappearance looming in the background until a gut punch at the end. At Granny’s Diner, Ruby (Meghan Ory) is, as always, flirting with her clientele, including August, the former Stranger (Eion Bailey). August speaks of seeing the world, and once he mentions lemurs, Ruby’s sold on the idea (they apparently don’t have a zoo in Storybrooke), and who can blame her? Lemurs are delightful. When Granny (Beverly Elliott) interrupts and tries to get her help with the books, and Ruby ignores her, they blow up at each other (I would never yell at my Granny), resulting in Ruby walking out on the job and her home, off in search of lemurs. Within minutes, she’s roommates with Mary Margaret and Emma, because they’re just good people. Within a commercial break,

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she’s working with Emma as her assistant, because apparently they have a sizable budget and she’s good on the phone. So much for travelling the world. In Candy Land, Red is unable to go out at night due to her overbearing Granny, and well, for good reason. There’s a monstrous wolf on the prowl, making ribbons of the townsfolk. Granny’s strictness keeps her from her true love, Peter (and the Wolf?), who she wants to run away with (groan). A few pitchfork bearing members of the village come to their cabin before their hunt for the wolf. Red wants to join them, but Granny doesn’t let her, and reminds her to put on her red cloak. She also says red attracts wolves (and presumably nargles), which certainly sends mixed signals. Red comes downstairs the next morning to find Granny and her rifle by the hearth, still ready for the wolf. They learn that the hunting team was eviscerated. Good thing Red didn’t join them. Later in the morning, Red finds Snow White, hungry and desperate, stealing eggs from their chicken coop. Instead of kicking out the ruffian with a ransom on her head, they become besties instead. Girls are weird...

has convenient blackouts, has a split personality, or *ding* something sinister was happening on Alcatraz.

ALCATRAZ

Air Date: 3/12/2012

“Clarence Montgomery” Review by Andy Greene

It’s been awhile since we last checked in with FOX’s ALCATRAZ, and unfortunately, not much has changed. Unless delving into the Tommy Madsen mystery or utilizing the excellent Robert Forster (as Uncle Ray), most of the time, this is just a standard, boring procedural, the weakest Bad Robot production to date. I do like that each week, we get a new inmate that always has a different way to kill (land mines, sniper, poison, etc.). Unfortunately, that fun only lasts until the opening credits (and then it’s all repetition from there). This week we meet Clarence Montgomery (Mahershala Ali), a tall black gentleman hanging out at a country club party. Apparently that’s all you need to attract rich white women, because he goes for a walk with one on the golf course within seconds, where she ends up bloody near the back nine. Afterward, however, Clarence asks out loud, “Who did this?” Either he

Back in 1960 (a couple years before the ‘63’s time jump and disappearance), Clarence is ushered into the kitchen by the ubiquitous Warden (Jonny Coyne’s evil leader of the prison is one of the few characters I want to see more of). Turns out, Clarence was a notable chef (the first black cook at a white country club) before he killed his white girlfriend and the Warden wants him to be the chef, and cook for both the blacks and whites at an upcoming meal. Sadly, that is a contentious issue. At the bat cave, Soto finds a match for a potential Alcatraz inmate, finding Clarence’s dirty work (it’s a ridiculously handy computer console). Soto spends a lot of time on those computers. Soon, he and Rebecca are on Clarence’s trail. With the help of coroner Nikki, they determine that this woman was killed with more skill and with a different hand (the CSI word of the day is “corrality”) than Clarence’s girlfriend. But how can this be? Unfortunately, we already know why. Clarence has tracked down his old friend and fellow inmate (he got out before ’63), Emmitt Little (Glynn Turman), who, like everybody else in this show, doesn’t seem to be as surprised as one should be when approached by a friend who should be dead/50 years older. When Clarence tells him he may have killed someone, Emmitt is adamant of his innocence. Clarence’s response: “not no more,” an apt description of what happened to the suspense in this episode...

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to create visual poetry akin to paintings and stage plays has set him apart from many other storytellers.

IMMORTALS

Universal Review by The ED-itor IMMORTALS is director Tarsem’s vision of the ancient Greek tale of Theseus. Tarsem’s previous works, THE CELL (2000) and THE FALL (2006), were both noted for their incredible visuals. The former telling the story of an FBI agent (Jennifer Lopez) who has to enter the mind serial killer (Vincent D’Onofrio), using set design and costumes to represent the various aspects of the killers thoughts and memories. THE FALL, while not the box office success that THE CELL was, achieved cult status for being one of the most visually dynamic films of its year. Tarsem scoured the globe to find the most stunning filming locations, creating the most dynamic fantasy world from a patchwork of existing locales. Tarsem has always been an artist whose ability

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With IMMORTALS, Tarsem decided to take his show OFF the road and go with a primarily green screen approach, creating digital vistas to place his characters against instead of his trademark elaborate sets and real world venues. Because the film is of the sword and sandals nature and utilizes digital environments, the immediate comparisons to 300 will be drawn. But to say that IMMORTALS is just a 300 clone would do a disservice to both (Although it doesn’t help that the bonus features on IMMORTALS have many instances of cast and crew talking about how they’re different and better than 300). 300 was a comic book adaptation that hyper-stylized its characters and environments to reflect the cartoon-like nature of its source material. IMMORTALS uses its digital trickery to create sweeping vistas that lend to the epic nature of the source material. Tarsem also strives to make each frame less of highlight shot and more of a painting. His approach was to give the film a “FIGHT CLUB meets Caravaggio” look and the arrangement and delivery of the characters is much more theatrical in nature. And by and large the film succeeds on those levels. The costumes are more artistic and stage play in nature. The gods of Olympus wear ornate helmets that have little practical purpose, but that certainly imbue a sense of deity.

WIZARDS

35TH ANNIVERSARY BLU-RAY

for its place in cinematic history today. The WIZARDS Blu-ray perfectly preserves the spectacle and sound of the 1970s film for new audiences. The Blu-ray case itself is presented as a booklet, cleverly mirroring the opening shot of the film. Inside the booklet contains 24 pages of detailed information on the movie and concept artwork. Notable is the case’s cover which features artist William Stout’s famous illustration of a mounted Peace (displayed above), an image so captivating it reaches further fame than the film itself. In addition to the booklet, the film comes saddled with a director’s commentary track, a behind-the-scenes interview with Bakshi and a catalog of early concept and character art. Perhaps the most fascinating aspect of the Blu-ray is how the bonus features go beyond exploring WIZARDS and present an in-depth look at Ralph Bakshi’s career.

20th Century Fox Review by Elvis Kunesh

Click “KEEP READING” below for a more in depth review, clips from the film, and some words from the legendary cover artist, William Stout!

The year is 1977. A movie is released that unexpectedly re-shapes pop culture. Featuring radically new special effects and an imaginative world filled with fantastic characters, the film breaks new ground in its mediumn. Overcoming a limited budget and difficult production, the film is embraced by audiences and is still cherished

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CAMEL SPIDERS

Anchor Bay Review by Brandon Moore In an age of instant digital video gratification, there is still a place for B movies—the partnership between Asylum and Syfy Channel with such films as MEGA SHARK VS. GIANT OCTOPUS and ZOMBIE APOCALPYSE have shown this much. Roger Corman, who built his career on a reputation of getting the most bang (and boobs) for your buck with a repertoire that includes the original PIRANHA and DEATH RACE 2000, most recently lends his name to CAMEL SPIDERS, a “film” (and I do use the term loosely) that is so achingly terrible, that even King of the B Movies Corman himself should have thought twice before slapping his name on this and allowing it to see the light of day.

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The film traces the path of the titular camel spiders from the deserts of Afghanistan to the similarly/identically dressed deserts of Arizona, as they terrorize soldiers, locals, and of course horny teens. Camel spiders, official name Solifugae, are an actual order of arachnids that are often stumbled upon in arid regions by soldiers. While the actual counterparts are relatively harmless with the exception of a painful yet defensive bite, the film’s creatures are deadly insta-killers, able to take down a running man in a matter of seconds. Director Jim Wynorski wastes no time putting his creatures on screen, but maybe he should have. The CGI is laughably bad (and the crystal clear Blu-ray presentation only manages to make them look worse), with the spiders and geysers of blood erupting from victims looking like they were ripped from a MORTAL KOMBAT knockoff circa 2000. However, the biggest complaint is that the film is simply boring. Despite its 85-minute runtime, the script introduces several subplots, including (but certainly not limited to) an impending divorce, surprise marriage, and an attempted takeover of the town’s land in order to construct a new casino. Naturally, all of these are rendered moot by the approach of the camel spiders, and as a result represent time spent with characters we don’t care about arguing over subjects that we know won’t matter once the body count begins...

CORMAN’S WORLD

EXPLOITS OF A HOLLYWOOD REBEL

WORLD: EXPLOITS OF A HOLLYWOOD REBEL explores the history of one of cinema’s most prolific writer/director/producers. However, while the admiration for Corman’s work ethic and talent shine through, the documentary struggles to be little more than a fluff piece that could be reconstructed on Wikipedia, and never truly gains a sense of how Corman feels about his long and varied career. Interview subjects range from actors who careers Corman jumpstarted to writers and directors to whom he gifted their first projects, talent unproven but not necessarily unseen. Peter Fonda, William Shatner, and Pam Grier all fondly remember their early careers (Grier in particular highlights Corman’s fondness of her ability to do her own stunts and handle guns). The film’s standout interviewee (with the exception of Corman himself) is Jack Nicholson, who admits that he owes his entire career to the partnership he struck up with Corman that played throughout the 1960s. When Nicholson emotionally breaks down in tears upon discussing the love and respect Corman extends towards every member of his crew, past and present, audiences can truly capture a sense of camaraderie that is rare in a Hollywood producer...

Anchor Bay Review by Brandon Moore Considering the fact that he has been writing, producing, and directing films for more than half a century, it’s shocking that it’s taken this long to produce a credible documentary regarding King of the B-Movies Roger Corman. Two years after his honorary Oscar, CORMAN’S

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MONOCYTE #3

MONOCYTE has all the character of a truly visionary anime and the convolution of David Lynch’s most bizarre piece of cinema. If you are a reader who prefers your story arcs well-defined and your action sequences clearcut and colorful, MONOCYTE is not for you. If you enjoy a trip into the mind you might not have taken since your last early-hour nightmare, you’d be a fool to miss it. In the comic, there are two races of immortals who have reached a veritable stalemate, and a one-eyed being—the Monocyte—is determined to take them both down. There are no simple pencil lines to be found, here; only full paintings, abstract imagery, and quotations from psalms that blend in so well with the actual dialogue you’d be pressed to figure out the difference between the two. This is a very powerful, dark science fiction comic, and Issue 3 is perhaps the most accessible so far, although that isn’t saying much for its ease of reading. Minute plot devices aren’t really the point, anyway. Iconic imagery reigns, with shadows of citadels and an alien-like Marquis.

IDW Story: menton3 & Kasra Ghanbari Art: menton3 Review by Holly Interlandi

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What comes to mind while reading are MONOCYTE are fringe characters, forgotten elements of films and books that have somehow come together to create something entirely new. Think of the impossibly fat vampire being fried by ultraviolet light in BLADE—dark corners discovered with every turn in Mark Z. Danielewski’s HOUSE OF LEAVES—the helmets and harrowing violence involved in early Greek tragedies. Think of secret histories transported to an unknown future. That attractive mystery is where you will find MONOCYTE...

Get your helping of horror!

SUBSCRYPTIONS Free digital subscryption & free gift & more! 6 issues of the original monster magazine. order online at captainco.com

SLASH #1, August 1992 Featuring: Jim O’Barr, David Schow, Mark Nelson, Tommy Pons Review by Holly Interlandi

This is exactly the kind of thing you will never find on the internet: a first black and white issue of a horror comic book ‘zine (published by the since-defunct NorthStar) that boasts messy pencilling, newsprint pages, cheesy tag lines (“a graphic descent into hell”), and a goth-horror cover drawn by the one and only James O’Barr (THE CROW). It was stuffed into the Small Press back issue bin at Meltdown Comics in Hollywood, and I couldn’t resist. What I got was the kind of rough-edged, indie, screw-everything-mainstream artwork and storytelling featured in old 80s compilations like TABOO and HEAVY METAL. James O’Barr’s contribution is an adaption of David Schow’s short story entitled—are you ready for this?—“Blood Rape of the Lust Ghouls”. The title refers to a low-budget horror film, and the main character is a film reviewer attempting to tear it apart in his independent magazine. It’s the kind of fourth-wall-breaking fun that comics were designed for, and the writing itself isn’t bad, either: “Next to his typewriter, the roach smoldered in the Disneyland ashtray; there were two fingers of juice left in his second bottle of Becks; the percs were gently brewing in his veins… full auto-pilot.” The second entry goes in a completely different, socially conscious, almost more disturbing direction involving a street jazz musician and a couple of overzealous police officers. And once again, it’s not only intense, but well-executed: “Two AM and the city is angles and rhythms… you can hear the city breathe. The city is stutter-starts and staccato tickings.” Close it out with a werewolf portfolio of ghastly proportions and you’ve got a worthwhile set of artistic endeavors that completely outclass the cover’s boasting of “erotic horror and urban violence”. Who would have thought? Quality stuff and no filler. DARK HORSE PRESENTS, take note!

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“What if?” of it all. Fans of alternate history all know the name Harry Turtledove, The Master of Alternate History. With COMPANY OF THE DEAD, David J. Kowalski is looking to carve a place out for himself amongst the pantheon of great alternate history writers. COMPANY OF THE DEAD is two parts alternate history and one part Sci-Fi. The story opens onboard the Titanic in April of 1912, where a mysterious man is seemingly attempting to keep the ship from hitting its destined iceberg. We quickly learn that this man is not a man from this time or place, but a man on a mission to change history or, more accurately, the future. The mission, while not going exactly to plan, changes the course of events enough to create an all new reality. Fast forward 100 years.

THE COMPANY OF THE DEAD by David J. Kowalski Titan Books Review by The ED-itor Alternate history books, I’ve always felt, have an extra layer of difficulty in properly executing them. It’s not just enough to create solid characters and tell a good story. With alternate history the author has to find a way to take known occurrences, re-work them, and then find new consequences and events that could have spun off of these re-worked happenings. The new world must be plausible; it must be familiar without being identical. Above all, it must have enough basis in reality that the audience can attach itself to the work and almost feel the

Because of the Titanic’s altered fate, the US never entered World War I. It’s April 2012 and we find that the Japanese occupy the entire west coast of the US, along with NYC. The North and South exist as two different countries, the fallout from a second Civil War. Japan and Germany are the two super powers in the world, occupying much of the civilized world from China to South America to the majority of Europe and Africa...

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to the races, perhaps lingering a bit too long once the stage is set, but it is definitely worth it once it gets going. The town of Babylon is run by two factions of vampires, the old guard, and a group who want to harvest humans. Keep that one in mind next time you get offered a cushy job, it could secretly be staffed by vampires. BLOODTHIRST works best when it’s moving at high speeds and covering a lot of territory, plot-wise. There’s a lot of good little tense scenes that’ll have you on the edge of your chair reading. A favorite of mine was the first battle between humans and vampires, and after finally killing these things off—or so they thought—and wiping the sweat and dirt off, you see the vampires themselves get back on their feet, a really chilling moment.

BLOODTHIRST IN BABYLON by David Searls Samhain Publishing Review by John Scappini

Some things are just too good to be real. When your good fortune can’t be trusted, it’s probably a sign for you to get the heck out of Dodge. That’s a problem some characters have in David Searls’ rampaging thriller, BLOODTHIRST IN BABYLON. The town of Babylon is one off the beaten path in the rust belt and on the road to Detroit. A small, idyllic little town, Babylon is extremely insular. However, a small migrant community begins to grow, and some of them start to ask questions about the fishy circumstances regarding their employment. You see, the townspeople are almost too accommodating in getting the passer-bys jobs and cheap places to stay…

The characters of this story are well fleshed out, which makes the action matter that much more once the fangs start flying. The backstories do a good job of establishing the blue collar mentalities of the passer-bys who do battle with the vamps. To go along with its vampire intrigue, BLOODTHIRST is a pretty gruesome book. Throats are clawed out, bodies chopped up via chainsaw, you know… all the good stuff. Searls has a magnificent knack for describing hacked up bits of body parts and other gory details. There are some fantastically groan-worthy lines, such as “I can’t believe I did that. Looking for monsters in the backseat. This is going to be one memorable evening.” and the Bruce Campbell-esque zinger “What you must never do, Van Helsing would have warned, is invite the vampire in. Unless, of course, you needed home court advantage.” While campy and fun, these comedic one liners do nothing to hurt the all-around steady work that is BLOODTHIRST IN BABYLON.

BLOODTHIRST has a few false starts before it really gets off

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RESIDENT EVIL

OPERATION RACCOON CITY Capcom

It is September 1998 and the action centers on the ill-fated Raccoon City. When the Umbrella Corporation learns that one of its top scientists, Dr. William Birkin, plans to sell the experimental G-Virus to the US Government they order an elite team of Umbrella Security Service (U.S.S.) Soldiers led by Hunk into their secret research facility to secure the only known sample of the virus. The operation takes a turn for the worse when Dr. Birkin injects himself with the last vial, mutating into a deadly creature, G-Birkin and over powering the team. During the battle the deadly T-Virus is leaked into the sewers and spread through Raccoon City, infecting the entire population. Hearing of the outbreak, the U.S.S. Team is given fresh orders to destroy all evidence of Umbrellaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s involvement and silence anyone that might discover the truth. The Umbrella Biohazard Countermeasure Service (U.B.C.S.) Are also deployed to help contain the situation. Meanwhile the US Government has quarantined the city and dispatched its own team of special operatives to determine the source of the mysterious outbreak. Caught up in the chaos are rookie police officer Leon S. Kennedy and Claire Redfield.

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Dark Arts Gallery BRING HOME THE FIRST TWO VOLUMES OF FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLANDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S DARK ARTS COLLECTION. FM is pleased to bring you the DARK ARTS, a celebration of some of the best HORROR, sci-fi, and FANTASY artists in the business today. Along with the high-quality, Full color ghoulish galleries, each section will include an interview with the artist, providing insight into just what inspires these maddeningly macabre masters.

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MEZCO’S CINEMA O

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Terrifying and delightful at the same time, Mezco’s CINEMA OF FEAR COLLECTION is definitely worth a parusal for any try horror fan.

iconic Elm Street sign, and t tongue (which is hands dow ever).

On the left, Mezco has outdone themselves with this 9 inch A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET collectible. The details are fantastic, from the horribly burned skin to Freddy’s signature clawed glove. The collectible comes with a removable hat, real cloth sweater, the

The creep in the middle w bad hair-do is of course th Michael Myers from HAL This character comes equ articulation, a massive blood

OF FEAR COLLECTION

the infamous telephone with wn one of the coolest thing

with a Starsky jacket and a he infamous masked maniac LLOWEEN II. WARNING: uipped with ten points of dy knife, and a bad attitude.

Last up we have Leatherface, the tubby with a gnarly chainsaw! The largest of the bunch, this 1:6 Scale Deluxe Figure from A TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE comes with his signature chainsaw and mallet, blood spattered cowboy boots, and a real cloth jacket.

Check â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;em out!

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Home Video

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

The Muppets

Creature

Battle Royale

The Adventures of Tin-Tin

Satan’s Slave (Uncut Edition)

The Hills Have Eyes 2 (Remastered)

Mystery Science Theater 3000

Shadow’s Fall

Back From the Undead: The Bloodhund Files

Star Trek: Vanguard: Storming Heaven

Books

The Day They Came

Batman: The Brave and the Bold

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Comics

Army of Darkness #2

Batman Odyssey Col.2 #6

Darkness #101

Fear Itself Fearless #11

Grimm Fairy Tales Myths & Legends #15

Hellraiser Masterpieces #10

Vampirella #15

Witchblade #154

Bela Lugosiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tales From the Grave #2

Whispers #2

30 Days of Night Vampire Plush 40

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Collectibles

Walking Dead Mug

Malcolm Reynolds Pistol Replica

Garo Dark Knight Action Figure

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