The Crest 95

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parenting*

The new

FATHERHOOD

T

TODAY’S DADS ARE A FAR CRY FROM YESTERDAYS’. THEY’RE HANDS-ON, SLEEVES UP, AND NOT ABOUT OBLIGATION – THEY’RE CONNECTING AUTHENTICALLY WITH THEIR KIDS, AND REAPING THE REWARDS, WRITES ANNE SCHAUFFER

here’s something so heartwarming about watching the comfortable relationship between today’s young dads and their children. Looking back a few decades, the change is remarkable – a child’s perception of a father then was clear. It ranged from “Seen And Not Heard” to “Wait ’Til Your Father Gets Home”, with a handful of variations in between. Lisa Grant-Stuart is a counselling psychologist in Ballito, working extensively with families. She’s seen that changing dynamic playing out, how and why, too: “There’s been a substantial increase in father involvement, including both the quantity of time spent with kids, and the quality of the involvement.” She puts it down to a combination of factors: “An increase in dual-income households, so more men have had to play a greater parenting role. Secondly, a loss of support from grandparents because of immigration or relocation of families, so fathers’ help is really needed. And thirdly, the overall decrease in stigma around masculine emotions, support of, and bonding with children.”

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Lisa also says that those Picture: @stories_by_goya who come out of well-balanced, two-parent loving homes are likely to want to replicate that, but it could equally be the reverse: “Dads fully invested in hands-on parenting because they want to provide the support and nurturing they weren’t given as kids.” So there’s no real rule here.

daughter, Harper (7) and my son Jagger (4), and I believe the greatest gift God could ever give a man is the opportunity to be a father. We’re a solid family, and we do a lot together. Lunches and dinners around the dining table were instilled in me as a kid, and we, in turn, have done likewise – a time when we talk about life, things happening in the world, and how our day was. My wife’s

I believe the greatest gift God could ever give a man is the opportunity to be a father”

ABOVE: Dean Edwards

with his son Jagger. TOP RIGHT: Grant Romeril with two-year-old Harrison. RIGHT: Brett Jones with wife Alex and children Jake ans Kingsley.

Dean Edwards of Ballito was a professional cyclist, largely based in Europe, travelling extensively: “When I returned, married and settled down, I had no doubt I wanted my own family. I’ve truly been blessed with two incredible kids – my

w w w . t h e c r e s t o n l i n e . c o . z a

career entails travel to Asia, and I happily steer the ship alone with the kids for up to ten days at a time. I absolutely love spending time with them, and am thankful every day of my life for the privilege of being a dad.” Grant Romeril lives in Hillcrest with wife Sally. They’ve been married for five years, and have two-year-old Harrison. Grant is very clear: “I always wanted to be a dad, and


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