Senior Living Winter 2020

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Fauquier Times | www.fauquier.com | January 15, 2020

Senior Living Winter 2020

• Aging in place • Staying in the spotlight • Positive aging

The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes.

Frank Lloyd Wright

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Fauquier Times | www.fauquier.com | January 15, 2020

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Chapter one Reading is good for the body, mind and spirit

By Anita Sherman Community Editor

“I loved it.”

“I liked it too … it was sweet.”

“What … I’m the lone voice but I don’t get it …A 70-year-old woman decides to approach her neighbor about spending nights with her ?”

Laughter erupted among the women sitting at the table in The Open Book, an independent bookstore on Main Street, in mid-December. Co-owner Cammie Fuller was among them. The occasion was the monthly gathering of the adult book club that Cammie created just after the store opened last summer.

December’s read was “Our Souls at Night” by Kent Haruf. The book is short and was a good selection for a busy month. The theme – a senior couple finding love and friendship in a small town – sparked lots of conversation.

The group ranges in age, professions and personal interests. But our common thread is a love of reading

FROM WHERE I SIT ANITA SHERMAN and discovering new authors; the list of possibilities is long.

I credit my mother for my lifelong pleasure of picking up a new book.

Many of my memories of her are her sitting comfortably in the living room or on the front porch during the summers engrossed in a good read. She introduced me to Carlos Castaneda when I was in my 20s – that was a surprise. And Wallace Stegner was another of her favorites.

My older sister is currently rereading and discovering other titles by John Steinbeck.

Walt Whitman. Isabel Allende.

Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Ernest Hemingway. John Grisham. James Patterson. The list is endless, and the

mind travel limitless.

One of my best friends is eagerly awaiting the ninth in the Outlander series of books by Diana Gabaldon.

Fighting ageism, Ashton Applewhite has written a manifesto of sorts, “This Chair Rocks,” that kicks back against aging stereotypes and inspires those of us over 60.

Popular author Judith Voirst, who delighted many of us, and our children, with “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day,” shares her wit, humor and empathy in “Suddenly Sixty (and other shocks of later life),” a funny and touching book that speaks directly to the 60-ish woman, inviting us to laugh, sigh and come to terms with the challenges of new decades in life.

She goes on with “I’m Too Young To Be Seventy (and other delusions)” where she explores our sex lives and status of our teeth in addition to the joys of being a grandparent.

Several of the women in the book club have shared that they have stacks of books bedside, another

stack in the living room and books on tape for when they are traveling.

For those of us who share in the joys of being a bibliophile, know that you are in good company and that reading is not only good for your soul but adds to our years of living healthier.

I found some stats that say good reading habits not only preserve our mental faculties but enable folks to live independently longer. My mother lived to be 93. Sadly, her eyes wouldn’t cooperate toward the end so her ability to read was interrupted, but her mind never faltered.

Her journals over the years are filled with books that she was reading or wanted to read.

As we enter a new year, let’s keep those books piling up. Reading is proven to enhance our memories, sharpen our decision-making skills, possibly delay the onset of Alzheimer’s and dementia, reduce stress and help us sleep better.

So, read on!

Reach Anita Sherman at asherman@fauquier.com

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Let’s start off the new year right Thinking about positive aging

AGING TOGETHER

Every day, around 10,000 baby boomers turn 65. When we think of old age, we tend to envision a frail, ill, or sleepy person napping in a rocking chair. However, these beliefs only serve to propagate the widespread misconceptions of aging that ultimately lead to ageism.

Contrary to popular belief, there is no typical “older personality.” Here are some common myths and misconceptions about older adults as outlined by Donald E. Riesenberg, M.D., in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

Common myths about aging: • Older people aren’t interested in the outside world.

The over-65 age group uses the internet -- a lot. Far from being passive television-watchers, more than 100,000 individuals over age 50 participate in the nonprofit Road Scholar experiential learning program each year to better understand other cultures around the world.

• Older people don’t want or need close relationships.

We are social creatures. Families, tribes, teams and whole organizations have a better chance of survival and ac-

ELLEN PHIPPS tually thriving when they are socially connected. The need for meaningful relationships does not diminish with age.

Maintaining social relationships allows older adults to reap numerous rewards.

• Older people contribute little to society.

With years of personal skills and professional expertise, older adults are highly valued employees, colleagues and volunteers. Senior Corps has more than 200,000 volunteers age 55 and older who contribute to their communities by tutoring, helping small businesses, assisting in placing foster children, providing fellow seniors who are homebound with companionship and help with daily tasks, and participating in other valuable endeavors. Older workers have a strong work ethic and are great mentors and models for younger generations.

• As you age, you get more set in your ways.

Older people tend to have high levels of mental resilience. The older generation’s ability to accept and rebound from adversity has been demonstrated

many times.

• Mental and physical deterioration are inevitable in old age.

There is a certain amount of loss of function as we age, but much can be done to prevent (or at least slow down) the physical and mental aging processes. Stem cells lose some of their potential and other cells weaken, but healthful habits hinder the process.

Weightlifting helps retain muscle and bone integrity. Aerobic exercise and diet lessen the chances for physical and mental deterioration. Exercising the brain and continuously learning help to fight cognitive decline.

Too much sedentary time spent watching TV is detrimental at any age but is particularly unhealthy for older adults, who often see their generation stereotyped as feeble, forgetful, cranky and confused. Remember, what you think will happen, happens.

• Older people are not interested in sex or intimacy.

This myth has persisted largely due to sexual activity and sexual health among seniors being infrequently discussed and studied. A 2017 University of Michigan National Poll on Healthy Aging asked a national sample of adults ages 50 to 80 about their perspectives on sex and relationships. The results showed that nearly two in three respondents (65 percent) were interested in sex, and most (76 percent) agreed that sex is an important part of a romantic relationship at any age. Forty percent of respondents indicated that they were still sexually active.

• Older people can’t make good decisions about important issues.

Age brings wisdom. Cognitive skills are based on a lifetime of experience and education.

• Older adults lose their desire to According to a Congressional Re- live.

• Older people are impoverished.

search Service report, “The poverty rate among Americans aged 65 and older has declined by almost 70 percent in the past five decades.”

However, certain groups are still struggling financially. For example, the poverty rate among aged African Americans in 2017 was 19.3 percent and the poverty rate among the aged Hispanic population was 17 percent.

Being on a fixed income as inflation takes its toll is a liability for older folks.

Older folks become more accepting of death when they have some sense of control over it. A comfortable and controlled environment is desired by most, regardless of age. Well people want to live and live well. No one who is mentally stable desires to shorten his or her life.

Ellen Phipps is the executive director of Aging Together. Reach her at ephipps@agingtogether.org or 540ephipps@agingtogether.org or 321-3068.

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Fauquier Times | www.fauquier.com 24 SENIOR LIVING | January 15, 2020

Staying on stage Enjoying a lifetime in the arts

By Debra Smyers

Contributing Writer

The arts bring joy to performing and visual artists as well as to their audiences. For many, that happiness lasts a lifetime and is a shining spotlight along life’s journey. Those who are involved in the arts experience the ultimate passion of creating new works with their own sense of style. The sharing of their art is yet another level of satisfaction and triumph. While disciplines like dance, music and textile art are very different, the rewarding experiences are similar and long-lasting, especially when experienced throughout one’s life.

The art of ballet with Rose Allen

Rose M. Allen of Rixeyville began taking ballet classes at the age of 8. Almost 50 years later, she is still dancing.

“Ballet relates to everything important ... the mind, the heart, the body and produces an active mind of logic, the missing links connected, golden key to reason in all things movement related. No other art form molds the entire body inside and out, united with God and earth. My mission is to dance until my last breath of life,” says Allen, who

dances every day in her studio and is still performing.

She studied with Oleg Tupine and Tanie Rousseau, icons in the world of dance, and knows the impact a dedicated teacher can make. Allen currently teaches ballet for ages 5 to adults. A decade ago, she became the founder and artistic director of Culpeper Ballet Theatre, LLC. “Teaching ballet is pure passion and experience. Children especially know this, and they adore a teacher who motivates achievement.

Motivation is self-formed, but a teacher can see with one look, the passion and humility the student possesses and can recognize a ‘diamond in the rough,’” says Allen.

Allen also studied acting at The Neighborhood Playhouse School of the Theatre in New York. More about Allen and her dance studio may be found at www.culpeperballet.org, by calling 540-937-2444, or emailing culpballettheatre@aol.com. Culpeper Ballet Theatre is currently seeking students who are dedicated to learning the art of ballet.

The joy of sharing music

Warrenton dermatologist Larry Finkel moonlights in the arts as a talented actor and singer. Locally he has been in many productions at Allegro Community School for the Arts and Fauquier Community Theatre, performing in various plays and musicals.

Most recently he had one of the leads in Allegro’s “The Music Man” held at Fauquier High School. In that same musical, a cameo performance was made

by Mint Condition Barbershop Quartet, a group that Finkel performs with as a tenor. The quartet has also performed on First Fridays, with the Silver Tones Swing Band, and at events including Allegro Thrive at the Bistro on the Hill at Fauquier Hospital.

Mint Condition is especially popular with seniors, so much so that longtime Warrenton resident Sharon Wiggins hired them for her dad’s 91st birthday party at Fauquier Health Rehabilitation & Nursing Center where he resides. All the residents and staff in the dining room had the opportunity to enjoy the festivities and celebrate Lee Thomas White’s birthday.

“He was overjoyed and got up and hugged each one of the musicians. It brought tears to my eyes,” said Wiggins. It appears

PHOTO BY ELIZABETH BAILEY

Rose Allen elegantly on pointe.

See STAGE, page 25

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Fauquier Times | www.fauquier.com 24 SENIOR LIVING | January 15, 2020

STAGE, from page 24 that White was also involved in the performing and visual arts. “He was an actor for Vic Tanney’s studio back in the day; last year he won Warrenton’s McClanahan photo contest,” Wiggins exclaimed.

For more information about Mint Condition Barbershop Quartet, visit the Facebook page or call 540-788-4966.

Emails may also be sent to lead Ralph Griffin at regriff721@yahoo.com. Other members of Mint Condition are bass Worth Kirkman and baritone Glenn Williamson.

the opportunity to be creative.”

Quilts of Honor, a nonprofit that gives patriotic quilts -- called quilts of gratitude -- to veterans, is near and dear to Russell’s heart. She presented a red, white and blue quilt at the Bealeton’s Hometown Hero Day last July 19. “It’s a special way to thank our military veterans for their service,” she said.

Russell also has a business, Flying High Engraving, located at 17 S. Fifth

Fauquier Times | www.fauquier.com | January 15, 2020 SENIOR LIVING 25

Street, right off Main Street in Old Town Warrenton. She was inspired by a family business many years ago.

Her laser engraving is a one-of-a-kind shop that is perfect for engraving all kinds of items that can be personalized with letters or graphics.

“Quilting will always be my first love as a hobby and business,” said Russell. “The journey is fun and seeing the customer’s face when they pick it up completely quilted is

priceless. I love my jobs.” For more information about AAA Longarm and quilting classes, or Flying High Engraving, call 540-222-0596.

Debra Smyers holds a master’s degree in arts management from George Mason University and teaches in the program. She is an actress, consultant and the co-executive director at Fauquier Community Theatre. Reach her at 800-754-4507 or debra@artsconsultinginternational.com.

Quilting and engraving with Angie Russell

Angie Russell got into quilting when she decided to create a thoughtful family gift. With a smile she said, “I got started in quilting when I wanted to surprise our daughter with a Harry Potter quilt for her ninth birthday.” Russell now teaches beginning quilting to others in Warrenton. “For my own quilts, I love doing the piecing part of making a quilt; picking the pattern then choosing the many colors to sew together,” said Russell.

Russell also has a longarm quilting business in Warrenton’s historic district. “Receiving a customer’s quilt and having them tell me to do what I want gives me the opportunity to look and listen to the quilt. Does it need something swirly or maybe something geometric? That is one of the best parts of my job. I love when I am trusted with

CONTRIBUTED PHOTO

Lee Thomas White celebrated his birthday with Mint Condition Barbershop Quartet.

Leave a Legacy, not a mess.

Preplanning your funeral arrangements can take some of the logistical and financial stresses off your family after your death. If your wishes are unknown, the family is often forced to make difficult decisions at a trying time. A funeral is an important event for the grieving; it provides a sense of closure and enables the family to begin the healing process. It is comforting to know that you have done all you can do to ease their burden. And you can be assured that they will appreciate that your caring for them continued after you are gone. You can trust Moser Funeral Home to guide you through the process of honoring their life.

We also manage the Bright View Cemetery located at the corner of Old Auburn and Lunsford Roads, just three miles south of Warrenton off of Meetze Road.

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Fauquier Times | www.fauquier.com | January 15, 2020

To sell or not to sell

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Moves to consider before making a change

By John Hagarty

Contributing Writer

The memories may be decades deep. A litany of holiday and family celebrations, neighborhood friendships, favorite nearby shops and restaurants and a deep connectedness that comes from the bond forged between couples and their home.

But time moves on and often owners are compelled to move with it. Yards that need regular attention, maintenance of living spaces larger than needed, and health issues that make navigating stairs, rooms and basements a challenge; any or all of these can make a move necessary.

Many couples delay the decision as long as possible. Understandably so. The mere idea of tossing away years of accumulated stuff, packing endless boxes of possessions and relocating to a smaller home or townhouse can force a decision to the backburner.

But there are alternatives

A growing strategy for maintaining the status quo is aging in place.

Some researchers believe that employing relatively modest changes can keep older homeowners nestled next to their hearth for years.

Advanced planning can start with an assessment of major home repairs that are looming. Is the roof more than 20 years old? Are the heating and air-conditioning units pass their prime? Are some rooms ready for a new paint job?

The point is to invest in the home with the goal of avoiding large expenditures in the later years. This has the collateral benefit of emotionally reinforcing that the home will continue to be a safe and sound refuge.

Next, consider the balance of selling with the expense of seeking outside help with home maintenance and personal care. It can be difficult shelling out money for yard and landscape work when it’s a task that’s always been the purview of the homeowner.

But eliminating the worry of maintaining an attractive home can be worth the added expense of a seasonal contract for property maintenance.

Employing in-home caregivers and housekeepers may seem like a luxury but if the money is available, it may be worth spending. Commercial maid services cover the gamut of cleaning services ranging from dusting, vacuuming, washing dishes, cleaning bathrooms and more.

While cleanliness is next to godliness it’s also next to happiness. Employing outside and inside home services strengthens the commitment to

age in place.

Visiting Angels, for instance, is a private duty network of reasonably priced non-medical home care agencies providing in-home care, respite care, personal care and companion care. The company has an office in Culpeper.

Betsy Walker, a northern Culpeper County resident, recently employed Visiting Angels to help her and her husband Fred during her recovery from hip surgery. “My caregiver has been my lifesaver. The moment she enters the house she gets busy working. She has adapted to my routine. It’s a wonderful local service. We are lucky to have such caring people to call upon,” says Walker.

The budget for such expenditures may come from previous expense items. Vacations, auto travel and dining out tend to be less frequent as folks age. These monies can shift from the pleasures of the past to the security of having increasingly stronger in-home support systems.

Beyond any additional expenses, there may be opportunities to have family and friends pick up some of the slack. Is there a friend, son or daughter that might swing by occasionally to wash hair, give a permanent, clean gutters, etc.? Seniors should not feel guilty calling on people who they’ve supported in the past.

Finally, online shopping for home-delivered groceries, prepared meals and the ubiquitous Amazon one-click world are other strategies making life easier during the golden years.

When it’s time

able to make the process easier.

Home junk-removers are plentiful and can make the odious task as easy as pointing and saying, “That goes, that goes and that goes.” Boom.

Done.

An effective way to brace for moving day is to start pitching stuff today. Start small. Regularly look for opportunities to toss out what’s not needed. If you have not worn a garment in more than a year, there’s a good chance you will never don it again. Donate it.

Begin with cleaning out the garage, closets and the basement.

These can be difficult areas of the house to tackle since often they contain years of accumulated detritus.

Momentum builds when discarding;

the more you do, the easier it gets.

Regularly donating clothing items to charitable organizations, along with serviceable home furnishings creates a mindset that if it’s not being used, it needs to be moved out. It also makes the ultimate move easier since there are fewer things to deal with.

Life might be like a car transitioning through its gears. As one accelerates through the early years the shifts are fast and furious. But when a couple hits the back roads of retirement, they should consider dropping into easy riding overdrive and ease off the pedal -- time to relax and enjoy the view.

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When declining health increasingly affects daily living, a move may be inevitable. Work together as a couple to make sure there is agreement on what the next move will be.

The goal is to make the shift on your terms and not be forced into a quick or ill-considered decision.

While choices may seem to be limited, there are options: • Moving to a small home, condo or apartment.

• Choosing to live in a retirement community.

• Selecting a continuing care retirement community.

The third option has the benefit of a move that can include an eventual nursing home environment, if the need arises.

Once a decision is made to move, prepping is important. Begin by making a room-by-room assessment of what needs to be moved, what can be sold and what can head to the COURTESY PHOTO According to statistics from AARP, nearly 90% of those age 65 and older want dump.

There are services that are avail- to stay in their own homes as they age.