Fenuxe Magazine - Issue 09 | Socially Distant? Water fun for One by Fenuxe Magazine Management

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Socially Distant? Wa te r f u n f o r o n e !

Brandy Clark Is Living Her Country Dream

Creep of the Week D o n a l d J Tr u m p

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Brandy Clark Is Living Her Country Dream The country musician is picking up Grammy nods, writing for Reba and, oh, she’s gay too By Chris Azzopardi

So, about doing an LGBTQ press interview such as this one: coveted out country music singer-songwriter Brandy Clark is really into it. “This is exciting for me,” she tells me one recent afternoon. To be clear, Clark, who’s been carrying the torch for LGBTQ people in country music since launching a recording career in 2013, has never shied away from LGBTQ press. Who knows why, then, she’s done so little of it. Clark has, after all, a full resume: four-time Grammy nominee (including a nod, in 2015, for Best New Artist), songwriter for Reba McEntire and Miranda Lambert and Jennifer Nettles and Keith Urban, and co-writer of Kacey Musgraves’ progressive country ditty “Follow Your Arrow,” which casually brought LGBTQ inclusivity to Southern consciousness. On the heels of her third album, Your Life Is a Record, Clark, 44, opened up about how coming out in her 20s served her career well, being embraced in Nashville, and hoping for a major out gay male country star. Who knows which songs will affect me tomorrow, but right now I’m feeling “Bad Car” and “The Past Is the Past” because I’m a sucker for nostalgia. That’s always great to hear because “Bad Car” was one that I just didn’t know if it would fit on the record. It was in the mix for my last record too and ended up not fitting. We didn’t even record it; it was just one that was tossed around. And it came up again, which always tells me it’s a great song if it continues to bubble up, and that one’s really hitting a lot of people. I’m a big fan of the way you write. How did you learn to write so well? Oh, good question. I think it starts with: I love stories and I grew up around great storytellers in my family, and I’m drawn to great storytellers. So there’s that. I

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love to read, I love to watch great TV shows that are written really well, and I love country music. And I think I was fortunate to grow up in a time where there was a lot of great country songs.

I grew up next to my grandparents, so the music they were listening to wasn’t necessarily on country radio at the time. I remember my grandma coming home from both a Loretta Lynn and Merle Haggard concert, who I think are two of the greatest songwriters to ever live. Dolly Parton was big in our home. Then when I was a teen and in my early 20s the country music of the ’90s was happening and there was so much great songwriting in all that. The first modern country artist that I really was a huge fan of was Patty Loveless and she had songs like “You Don’t Even Know Who I Am” written by Gretchen Peters, who is one

of my favorite writers and someone I would consider a huge influence. I love songs that make me feel like I’m right there, I love songs that describe in three-and-a-half minutes a split-

second decision, and then I love great story songs like (Kenny Rogers’) “The Gambler.” I think that’s what it was for me: It started out with just a love of storytelling and a love of music, and then being in Nashville and being around some of the best songwriters in the world, you’re only going to get better. And that’s what I did: I put myself in this place where the greatest are at.

line “kiss lots of boys, or kiss lots of girls if that’s something you’re into”? What’s funny about that was: I think when we were writing that it wasn’t even something that was like, “Oh, should we put that in there?” It just worked. And with Shane and I being gay – and Kacey just being someone who’s so fluid in her thinking – it wasn’t a big deal. And people would always say to me, “Oh, I bet you wrote that ‘kiss lots of girls’ line (laughs). I said, “I don’t even remember! I hope I did!” But I don’t know if I did or not. I mean, I’m really proud of it. It’s crazy because it’s by far not the biggest hit I’ve had, but impactwise one of the biggest songs I’ve had. When people find out I was a co-writer on it, it’s like I wrote “Bridge Over Troubled Water.” (Laughs.) But you understand why, right? Yes! Oh, I’m so proud of it. And I don’t think any of us realized that day or even when she put it on the album what a moment it was for a lot of people. I’m really proud of that, that the LGBTQ community feels represented, because I live in a bit of a bubble. I’ve always lived in pretty progressive areas. I grew up in the Northwest and I had parents who were gonna be accepting of me no matter what I was; if I was a green alien, they would be like, “OK, well we love you. Don’t smoke.” (Laughs.) And then moving to Nashville and discovering I was gay: I was a late bloomer. Nashville’s a pretty liberal city for the South, and I was always in a group of people who were gay.

I can’t imagine that was the case in Morton, Washington, where you grew up, and where the population is around 1,000. How did you survive that experience? With Kacey Musgraves and out gay The truth is, luckily, I didn’t realize I country songwriter Shane McAnally, was gay until I was in my early 20s. you co-wrote “Follow Your Arrow.” How much input did you have in the Did not knowing until you moved to

Nashville work in your favor? Had I realized early on, I don’t know what that would’ve been like for me. Because it was hard enough when I was in my 20s. My dad had passed away by this time. I had a mom who was so accepting, but I can’t imagine being in high school, being in a small school. I think the things about me that are pretty gay actually helped me fit in. I love sports, and one way to fit in in Morton was to be good at sports, and so I was. And I just didn’t have a clue I was gay, and some of that was probably because gay was not represented.

That makes sense. I can tell you one thing: There are a lot of reasons I feel fortunate that I’m gay, but one of them is that I’ve never fallen in love for the wrong reasons. It’s never been because of what someone looks like or what they did for a living because it was already like, “OK, this isn’t the popular choice already,” (laughs) so it’s always been what my heart wanted. I saw there’s this new show on Netflix called _Love Is Blind_ and I haven’t watched it, but I feel like that every time I’ve fallen in love, that’s what it’s been for me. It’s been an emotional connection first. And Right. Conceptually you I do feel fortunate about that. didn’t really know what you could identity as. Years ago, you were Exactly. I just knew that good proclaimed our “great lesbian girls didn’t sleep with their hope” by AfterEllen. Maybe boyfriend and I was a good you’ve seen that. girl. I mean, that’s what I No, I didn’t see that! But I love thought. And my parents were that. pretty strict. I didn’t have a lot of rope to figure those things When I read that, I wondered out. I didn’t have real serious if you felt pressure to carry boyfriends. If there was a the torch within a genre where dance, I had to be home 10 there is so little LGBTQ minutes after the dance, so I representation? didn’t have a lot of room to Pressure’s not the word. I feel explore sexuality. I had friends a responsibility. Not everyone who were sexually active; I just can be visible; I can be. And wasn’t. And I think so much so if me being visible makes of it was: I was so focused on it easier for the next person to sports at the time, and right be, then that makes me really when I got out of high school I happy. And also I loved country got really into music. music from probably the time It wasn’t until I fell in love for I was conceived and I didn’t the first time, and happened to know I was gay, so I didn’t fall in love with a woman. It know I didn’t fit into that. I really freaked me out. Like, just knew I loved it. I loved “Oh my god, I can’t be gay. Patsy Cline. I love, like I said, But if being in love with her Merle Haggard. George Strait. makes me gay, I guess I’m Reba. I’m kind of glad I didn’t gay.” (Laughs.) I have a really know I was gay then because I strong heart in that way. And would’ve maybe thought, “Oh, I’m a fool and will follow it off well, I can’t be that.” a cliff. But then the second time I fell in love with a woman, I But later, did you ever worry was like, “Oh, you know what, your sexuality could be an I think I’m gay.” (Laughs.) And issue if you were going to be a then I was able to wrap my head country music artist? around it a little differently. Yeah, for sure. When I really Like I said, I had an incredibly came out of the closet I thought, accepting family. I didn’t have “OK, that dream is dead,” and heavy-duty religion playing into then it’s funny how when you it for me, telling me I was going start being your authentic self to hell. I had a lot of acceptance, things line up differently. It and it was still difficult for me, wasn’t long after that that I got so I can’t imagine what these approached about making my kids go through that have those first record and I remember things working against them. saying to my manager at the time who I was just meeting Did songwriting help you who approached me about it: “I come to terms with being gay? feel like I need to tell you before It did. One of my early we go any further that I’m gay.” co-writers in Nashville, I And it was no big deal to her. remember coming out to her She said, “I just think the focus and not knowing what she is your music.” And I’ve been would think. She was so loving really fortunate in that I’ve had and she said to me, “I think two managers now and a couple it’s part of why you’re a really of publicists and everybody’s great songwriter.” I started to been really good about “It’s embrace myself differently. part of the story, it’s not the And I do: I think writing songs whole story.” And it’s definitely helped me process it. not something I’m ashamed of. But I definitely did think, “Oh, I I’ve heard it said that can’t have that.” LGBTQ people are as evolved as they are because we have Because there was no template to go through years of self- for artists like you? reflection. We are forced to Yes. By the time I had the self reflect. opportunity to make an album,

k.d. lang was way far out of the would’ve sung. I thought it’d be closet. Chely Wright had come great to have Brandi on this. out. After listening to this album, But look what happened to it’s clear you like to challenge Chely’s career. She admits it gender norms. On “Who stalled. You Thought I Was,” you I think part of my journey is sing about being a kid and that I was always out, so I pretending to be Elvis and not don’t know what would have a cowgirl but a cowboy. happened had I come out. It’s very funny you would I just know that I’ve been mention that. I actually have embraced, and I’ve never felt my manager to thank for that. like something didn’t happen And at the time it seemed like because I was gay. Maybe it a small thing, but it’s such a big has, but if it has, I’ve never felt thing. So right before I went in it. to make this record I was going back through my catalog and It must’ve lit a fire under your listening to everything, and I feet once Reba – a country had written that song “Who music icon – recorded some You Thought” with Jonathan of your songs, and that, I Singleton and Jessie Jo Dillon. think, happened early in your Jonathan’s a great singer and career. he sang the demo, so I always Well, it’s funny that you would thought of it as a guy song, but say “early.” I had been in the I loved it. And so I said to my game of writing songs and been manager, “I wanna play you around Nashville for over 15 this and it’s probably not right years at that point. When that but I just don’t want to miss happened, it started to feel like anything.” And she was like, my ship was coming in. “Brandy, you have to record this song.” And she’s like, “Don’t So you’d been working change it to ‘cowgirl’ and don’t toward this for many years change the Elvis thing,” and I before you actually released said, “Oh. I hadn’t even thought your debut album _12 about it.” She said, “It’s way Stories_ in 2013. more badass if you don’t.” I’ve been in Nashville for 22 years, I think. So really, it’s It reads as queer to me. I love only been in the last seven years it. that I’ve had an artist career, Reads as queer – I like that! and before that I was toiling away as a staff songwriter. All Do you find people in the of it kind of happened at once. LGBTQ community expect I mentioned Shane and some you to be more political than other people, and some people you are because you’re a who are creatively like-minded, lesbian and there’s so much and things started to happen for happening that is directly that group of people that I was affecting the community? in, and I don’t think that was I don’t know what people an accident. I think everybody expect of me. I’m not a real in there had been working a political person, and I’m not long time and (when they) met, even necessarily that proud to little fires started popping up say that. I’m just not. I mean, everywhere, like that new book. I vote. The way I lean would Reba had cut another song of not shock anyone (laughs). mine and it fell off the album, But I just … I never get into it. which meant it didn’t make the Maybe I should more. Maybe album, so when she did _All the that’s something I should do Women I Am_ (in 2010) and I more of. had two cuts on that I thought, I will say one thing: When I was “This can happen.” It was a real growing up I didn’t see a lesbian turning point, and then right when that was happening, I had the opportunity to make _12 Stories_.

that looked like me and that was part of my hang up. I don’t have short hair, not that there’s anything wrong with short hair. If I had different features, I’d wear it and wear it proudly, but I can’t. And so I do think I represent a kind of lesbian that maybe somebody growin’ up is like, “Oh, OK, well, I could see myself like her.” I can’t wait for the time, and I think we’re moving toward it, that being gay or lesbian is not such a big deal. I see with my nephews, it’s not. And we’ve had to pave that way, by the way. It’s way easier for us than it was even 10 years ago. But I really do look forward to a time where, like with country music, it wouldn’t be a big deal for a male singer to be gay because I haven’t seen that. Is it easier for a lesbian to be a country star? It is. Why do you think that might be? I don’t know, but I can tell you this: When I met Shane McAnally I drew a lot of strength from him. He wasn’t the only guy I knew who is gay who writes songs, but he was the one I knew the best at the time. I was out but I wasn’t super loud about it, but when I met him and we started working together I thought, “This is so much easier for me than it is for him. So, by god, I’m just gonna be who I am.” And I don’t know why that is. I really don’t. But I’d love to see it. Because I think if we see a (a major) gay male country singer, it would change a lot of people’s minds. As editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBTQ wire service, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

Apparently you grew up just a couple of hours away from another out gay artist with your first name: Brandi Carlile. Is there ever going to be a duet? Do you guys talk? Do you guys go to gay bars together? (Laughs.) We’ve never gone to a gay bar together. Absolutely love the other Brandi. We’ve done some shows together, and I was going to get her to sing on my record and it just didn’t pan out. There was a song I was going to do that I didn’t do that I was going to have her do with me. Maybe next time that will work out. But I thought it would be really cool because it was a part that typically a man

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Creep of the WEEK donald J trump

by DíAnne Witkowski

Currently trending po Do not chug Lyso litical advice: inside a womb. l. Do not inject bleach. Do not sm for her “Stay Ho oke Clorox wipes. m There are 50,0 order, which has ju e, Stay Safe” 00 Americans st been extended Also add to that list: Do not vote dead as I write this. Surely there until May 15. She’s had protesters for Republicans. will be more by th in front of the ca M sick and dangerouy God, what a it. And that’s just e time you read her house. Peop pitol and even le are protesting th president and his s joke is this counting. There ar e deaths we’re her audacity to party. e likely more. The limit their liberty number of people in an effort to no wh t kill thousands In some ways it doubt being unde o are sick is no of people. They rc ar m ou e taking “give ak nt es ed se du ns e e, the completely to this fierce protec botched response me liberty or give me death” to tionism of the most unqualified by the Trump Adm inistration to this the extreme, here. And Michigan person to ever hold the highes t office in the crisis. We didn’t test. We didn’t do Republicans are with the protesters land. Republicans contact tracing. W on this. They have e didn’t do shit. am incapable of gove are completely The only thing st ate House and Se ajority in the Trump offered to rning. After all, nate and they they don’t believe fight this virus wa that government s racism against have forced both bodies to meet is capable of be the Chinese and gu in person in Lansin or helpful and so ing competent is as ineffective agess what: racism so that the Repu g, most recently bl incentive to be terri they have an as mainlining Pure ainst COVID-19 bills stripping W icans could pass hi ll. bl tm e. And, my oh my, do they meet her power — bills er of some of even the lowest, that Whitmer is most cynical expe As crass and narc issistic and awful obviously not going to sign. So the ctations. Trump is so terrible that as Trump is, it is as whole thing is just waxing nostalgic he has people that he has yet to tounding to me A political stunt a political stunt. ab that puts peoples show any care or ’ Bush and Democra out George W. concern for tens health and lives of thousands of ts getting mistyat risk. This is eyed over Ronald people who are de ev en af te r Rep. Isaac Robins ad. I mean, it’s not Re on to John Kerry: KN agan (waving astounding to m (D-Detroit) DIED e th O in March from CK at he IT do O es FF n’t COVID-19. M ). care, it’s astoun Note: when one ichig ding pe terrible than anot rson is MORE doesn’t have advis to me that he party is a gh an’s Republican her, that doesn’t oulish circus of or s sa yin g, “You make the less te rrible person not probably should express some kind nightmare clowns. terrible. of condolences.” that. I suspect he Actually, scrap But they, of co urse, take their does, but he is The COVID-19 pand so out of contro l, so completely cues from their Dear Leader who em ic m ak es th e difference betwee off leash, so totally tw insane that he pr eeted “LIBERATE MICHIGAN” as and Democrats n Republicans listens to no one. otesters without m No t even Ivanka. as One party is taki nakedly clear. elb ow to elbow toting ks crammed ng advice from the country’s top Trump’s Republica an d boasting about assault rifles medical experts n party claims to allegiance to about how to navig be pro-life, but when white supremac y, at it e co intentionally th m is es cr to isi lif s. e The other party outside of the wo blocked streets pu m TV every night wh ts a guy on There are Republ b, they DGAF. including access in the capital, to a hospital. icans across the windmills cause o believes that country making ca we should try to ncer and that that letting scores the argument Remember thos e death panels kill coronavirus of people get by beaming sunl ight into a body an incredibly infectious virus and Republicans warned us about when — literally putting die is preferable Obama dared to gi su the sun doesn’t sh nshine where economy. That de to hurting the insurance? Well, ve people health th at takes unpreceden ine. One party evil when compa h is the lesser the panelists are ey’re here. And Republicans. Vote red to a tanking te d st ep s to save American liv stock market. And them out before th ey kill you. party encourages es. The other to turn around an then they want d pr pr et ot en es d to th rs ey in holier than ’re Confederate flag thou because th tube tops and ey “Don’t Tread on oppose abortion. M descend upon st e” banners to ate governments who dare to take In Michigan, wh D’Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and th er party thinks that ese steps. One Gretchen Whitm e I live, Gov. comedian living in Michigan with her wife er, a Democrat staying alive is goal No. 1. The ot known to Trump and son. She has been writing about LGBT her party thinks as “that woman that life only m fro politics for over a decade. Follow her on m M ich ig an ,” ha atters when it’s Twitter @MamaDWitkowski pushback from Tr s gotten some ump supporters

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Socially Distant? Wa te r f u n f o r o n e !