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Winter’s Chill C O V E R F E AT U R E ! WINTER’S CHILL PHOTOS BY RICHIE ARPINO
CREEP OF THE WEEK SAMUEL ALITO
POSITIVE THOUGHTS: FINDING LOVE IN THE TIME C O R O N AV I R U S THE
QUEER
CHRISTMAS
M O V I E S A R E H E AT I N G U P
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Contents
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BEAT BOX WINTER’S HOTTEST TRACKS
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CREEP OF THE WEEK SAMUEL ALITO
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COVER PHOTOSHOOT BY RICHIE ARPINO WINTER’S CHILL
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POSITIVE THOUGHTS: FINDING LOVE IN THE TIME OF CORONAVIRUS
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THE QUEER CHRISTMAS MOVIES ARE HEATING UP
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BEAT BOX
WiNTER’S HOTTEST TRACKS By Jimmy Newsum
Baby, it’s cold outside. Well, maybe not so much in Atlanta but still, it is time to pack away those summer and fall jams and start chilling to some new beats. These songs are season-appropriate in the best way, from lovesick ballads to all night party jams. Here are the sounds you should be adding to your personal playlists right now. “Cry” Faultlines
John Flanagan and Ashley Morgan are a folk duo, but their latest single leans more country than twang. Written by Flanagan and Jeston Cade, the song shines the spotlight on Ashley Morgan who flexes some serious vocal chops. Some will miss the harmonies that make this duo so special, but give the song a chance. The raw quality of Morgan singing alone without back-up makes perfect sense for a brooding song that reflects on memories of a relationship long gone. “Stronger” Colton Ford
“Radio” Kory Burns
This seductive new R&B track celebrates being single and doing what, when and who you want. Produced by Sean McMillion (Nicki Minaj) and Carlos Battey (Grammy winner for his dance remix of Madonna and David Guetta’s “Revolver”), the upbeat single is reminiscent of 90’s smooth crooners who were always inviting that special someone home to put nothing on… but the radio. It is fun, flirty, and feel good; exactly what the world needs right now.
Everyone’s favorite silver daddy reflects on some of the struggles that have kept him out of the limelight these past few years. “Stronger” is a big, beautiful ballad that starts off simply with a vocal and an acoustic guitar before whisking listeners on a powerfully sweeping musical journey. Its inspirational lyrics reveal Ford’s own life mantra of staying the course, believing that victory is inevitable. Two remixes accompany the original. Spin Sista’s “Future Haus” mix of “Stronger” is epic and anthemic while Spin’s “Haus of Love” mix offers a chill kind of vibe that is absolutely delish.
“A Part of Me” Yanni Burton Yanni Burton turns the spotlight on his own struggles of moving on from past relationships in this dreamy and trippy new single. Produced by Burton along with Tiger Darrow, the song is darker and more emotionally intense than his previous releases, however, it still contains the pop/dance feel the artist has become known for. As heavy as the lyrics may seem, it is a fun song that will allow listeners to cut loose a bit.
“Missing” John Chandler Each single on John Chandler’s new Running, Missing, Changing, Growing EP tells a story all its own with sad but hopeful lyrics, set to real piano, guitars, and minimal drums. “Missing” chronicles the artist’s road to self-discovery where he questions if he is in a healthy relationship, working the right job and living in the ideal city. Produced by Joe Crow and co-written with American Idol finalist Brandon Rogers, the emotionally charged track sets Chandler on a journey where he makes some major life changes and writes as incredible song.
“Kingdom” David Hernandez The new single from our favorite American Idol is a powerful ballad about the dangers of infatuation. Cowritten by Hernandez and featuring beat boxing from his good friend, American Idol Blake Lewis, the song is about the artist’s reallife relationship that he admits he allowed to wreck his whole world. Hernandez’s longtime collaborator, Daniel Braustein, plays electric guitar and drums on the track. Hernandez also brings in six vocalists for the background choir that gives “Kingdom” its majestic gospel feel towards the end.
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DIMITRI LIVING WITH HIV SINCE 2018 REAL BIKTARVY PATIENT
KEEP ASPIRING.
Because HIV doesn’t change who you are.
BIKTARVY® is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in certain adults. BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS.
Ask your healthcare provider if BIKTARVY is right for you. See Dimitri’s story at BIKTARVY.com. Featured patient compensated by Gilead.
Please see Important Facts about BIKTARVY, including important warnings, on the previous page and visit BIKTARVY.com.
Creep of the WEEK
by D’Anne Witkowski
Samuel Alito
In 2015 the Su preme Court’s Obergefell v. Ho liberty” esn’t mean relig changed my life. dges decision freedom, dobe cause that woious be living out their own Th at decision include meant that Mich uld version of “T re -life M us lim ig an s and stuff an he Yellow Wallpal had to the Fede recognize my le d aper — it’ ra s lis ga a my wife and that l marriage to with that. Re t Society is not down explai short story, read it. I can’t” n lig as ev io er he us yt r hi lib sp ng er ouse ty means to you. I could be cove red under her white Christian dominance health insuranc an un d fe tte Th re en d e. po Al I ito we wa r to discriminate. says, “That is just s also able Is he to legally “ado what is coming to pass mad about good ” my own son. .” Christians And it couldn’t ptha lik e th e fo lk ve s co at m e M asterpiece I just at more crucial e for my familya, Cakeshop being forced to checked and it lo seeing as I hatim mak wedding cakes ok d br ea st for gays? Youe governments, employers s like cancer at betcha the time. I’d had and sc . No ho ol t on s su 37th birthday in Ap rgery on my did the coup ly, Alito pointed out, within still allow heterosexuals le th ril ei in an r th ha d e lls in M , Ju asterpiece and in eir employ when the Obergef ne in their classth ell decision was, Cakeshop v. Colorado Civil Ri issued, I was ge room ghts memo mus Commission laws tti ng ch t not have beens.wi The emo. And cake uit get a free it sucked. Do no dely ou di st t of rib th ut ed. You know wh All thumbs down t recommend. another ba e whole thing — from say: at they ch ke . Ex an ry ce ge — pt bu ta fo t ke r “celebrity again, saving my life part. the chefs have ju s e. Then th e are fewetim mped to the coup Worth it. r weddings le’s happeniner defense.” g at the moment... So, while family was Whew. Wha celebrating — Immy O h m y God. I just real we could ce br ean, as much as LGBTQ co t a relief for every the re ized that uple seeking ca ate considering ason there have that I was kile Ap ke . pa been re fe nt we nd ly r th of we ey a dd ge downer at in t it for fre Free the time — on th of COVID-19. gsIt’ isn’t because ing I neglected cake for gays from celebrity e! s to ask myselfe wa be chef ca e of Why am I just no w hearing abous!t the gays! What have weus Justice Samuel Al s, “How does this? Clea done? W ill rly we ito an fe ne el tive eq ab r uality folks hete out all are fueled be of this?” rosexuality is dehappy until by jealousy be stroye caus FREE CAKE. Obv iously straighte that what it all boils down to?d? Is Well, it turns ou pe op le ar e going to pretend not great. I mea t the answer is: be gay ju to If ly I would ha he was one ofn,thconsidering that who couldstblfor the cake now. And myon known that family’s legal reve am e fo e ur them? justices Alito go who dissented, th cognition and th e es sa on fe at ty ’s not really a “u d security that ha surprise. ntil very rece toly”point out that brought usanwo the “majority m uld hurt so verys of Americansnt an y pe op ” le . th “O ought that sh bergefell!” I yell, In his dissentin aking my fists at opinion he wrote marriage was a union betw that marriage gwa the sky. een a m an an d a wo s m an. But now that’s linked” to makin “inextricably “considered “O ne of the gr t chal bigotry.” that the decis n g babies and lenges for the Supreme Coea would “be used urt going forwar to vilify Amerio Th is is wi tru ll ica e be an ns d ” to is wh st protect freedom d rictly enforced sp o didn’t by Antif support marriage of a. eech,” Alito said equality. . On Nov. 12 du “That th It tu s out that fre edom, just e address at the ring his keynote decisionisinwould happen after our everrn 20 O be 20 rg ef Federalist have ell should not ac ything else on the internetlik Society co National m tu e al as ly ca a surpris ke. Grab your free , is Lawyers He saw Convention, he said. before it coming all e,” which Al ito and the conservaslice al wa held ong and majority s points to wh virtually ev at on en he the Supreme Cotive wr th ough dissenting ote in his take conservatives do urt it op n’ aw t in ev ay io en n . belie in the novel co assume th those at the time: “I navirus becausve who cling to old is proof of theirroop e beliefs willat be able able to wh made clear that he pression, Alito their though isper is no t. O ve r. It. their homes ts in the recesses of The Federalist So . Bu cie t ty if th is, of those vie course, an repeat ws in public, ey tra-c onservative they will group of attornuley ris k be in g la Trump has plucke s from which treated as subeled as bigots and d many of his judgeship appo employers andchscby governments, hools.” likey the gays. intees. They no In other word no one will be Alito told the grou D’Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and able to speaks, ab p th at “re out one-manlig ious one-woman liberty is fast comedian living in Michigan with her wife m be ar co ria ming a in publ ge ever again disfavored right and son. She has been writing about LGBT ic. Pe ” op in le clinging to this America. idea wi That is completel politics for over a decade. Follow her on ll en y reality. Then ag divorced from to a person d up committed not Twitter @MamaDWitkowski ain, “religious of the opposite se but to insane asyl ums. They’ll alxl
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Positive Thoughts: Finding Love in the Time of Coronavirus By Charles Sanchez
Our first date was on a Tuesday night. I wasn’t sure it was a date at first, but I was hopeful. To be dating during a(nother) pandemic is a little nutzo, but my Romeo is completely COVID-worthy, if you know what I mean. We didn’t actually meet during the novel coronavirus pandemic. I met Romey – sometimes I call him Romey – about seven or eight months ago. He works for a major national retailer and contacted me via Instagram with an idea to do an HIV awareness event at the store’s SOHO location featuring my web series, Merce. We got together for a long coffee and kicked around ideas. I found him criminally handsome
– tall, with brown hair and blue-hazel eyes. I like big fellas, and he fit the bill. He’s smart, very funny, an artist, in his fabulous 50s (like me), and he’s living with HIV. We live in the same area of Queens, New York City, and that Tuesday night at 8:30 p.m., I huffed and puffed up the four flights of stairs to his apartment. I dressed cute but didn’t overdo it. He opened the door wearing relaxie clothes: shorts, a T-shirt, and a huge devilish smile. Once I de-masked, Romey showed me around his quaint one-bedroom apartment. Every wall in every room is filled with his paintings, political and passionate, each containing
an amiable image juxtaposed with a protest phrase like “End AIDS” or “Black Lives Matter.” Even his bathroom had art! I was charmed. As a classical radio station played, we dug into eggplant with garlic sauce and chicken with broccoli (I was touched that he also got me an eggroll), and sat in his living room with our plates balanced on our laps, party-style. I offered to pay for half of the food, and he dismissed the idea. As we noshed, we talked about art, his life, my life. I’m sober, and he doesn’t really drink, so that’s great. The fact that we both are living with HIV made certain conversations (“Are you on PrEP?” “Do you know
what U equals U means?”) unnecessary. I gushed about his art. He complimented my comedy and encouraged my creative work. We talked for more than two hours. When I got up to leave, we hugged. The hug lingered. He slowly started to rub my back, then nuzzled my neck. Gradually, my mouth found his. He took my hand and led me to his bedroom. I told him that I wasn’t going to have sex. It was our first date, and while I’m certainly no prude, I need to protect my tender heart. Like the old song says, “My heart has been well schooled, for I have been fooled in the past.” He responded by saying, “Let’s just get more comfortable.” We laid down, continued our smack fest, and although our shirts were opened and hands went under pants, we didn’t have sex. We were both excited, and at one point he said, “Isn’t this great? We’ll have November and December and January…” I thought, “Wait a minute. Are we dating already?” We kissed more and more, and the armor around my heart began to melt away. In 30-plus years of dating, I don’t know if I’ve ever been kissed like that. I felt we were releasing ourselves into each other. It was beautiful and overwhelming. When we noticed the time, it was almost 2:30 a.m. I realized that I hadn’t taken my HIV medication and needed to go home. The subways stop running at 1, so I called a Lyft. Romeo stuffed a 20-dollar bill in my pants pocket, saying, “You shouldn’t have to pay for the ride home.” I tried to hand it back to him, and he insisted. He walked me down the stairs, and we hugged as the driver pulled up. “Call me when you get home,” Romey said. And I did. The next day, I woke thinking the night before had been a dream. Dabbing balm on my kiss-worn lips, I texted Romeo, and he assured me that the night had been real and certainly dreamy. Then he asked when he could see me again. We made a date for that night. I warned him that I still wasn’t going to have sex yet, but he encouraged me to bring my meds so I could stay the night. “Cuddling will be wonderful,” he said. Hours later, I leapt back up the stairs to his apartment two at a time. He greeted me this second night with a little box: a sweet gift of cologne samples he got from work. I trepidly kissed him hello, and he asked if something was wrong. I said that I was just a bit reserved since this was all brand new. He wrapped his big arms around me, saying, “There’s no need to be scared. I’m right here.” We nibbled on mediocre tacos as we talked more about our lives. We giggled about ex-boyfriends and crazy guys we’d hooked up with, adventurous sex we’d had.
Romeo told me how nice it was to be with someone close to his age. He had dated a lot of younger guys, “dented cans,” he calls them. We then got ready for bed, and he gifted me a fresh toothbrush. He placed it in his medicine cabinet, saying, “And it begins.” He then insisted I moisturize my face before sleep, and he tenderly stippled my face with luxurious lotion. We went to his bed and kissed, and it was everything the night before had been and more. At one point, he could sense that I was trying to emotionally protect myself and whispered, “Come on, Charles. Come home to me. I love it when you come home to me.” When he said that, the knees of my heart buckled. My mind swirled, “Oh, my God. Is this my boyfriend? Could we be happy together? This is unbelievable!” Everything about being with him felt like the future. The next morning, he made coffee for me, sweetened with Splenda that he’d swiped from his work for the occasion, and he cooked us scrambled eggs and toast with melted butter. We talked about plans for the weekend (sex was certainly going to be on the agenda), and it was all romantic and comfy and delicious. I floated home like a cartoon balloon in a holiday parade. Around 4 that afternoon, I sent him a little goofy text. Then at 10:30 or so, I texted to ask how his day was. No response. Huh. Friday, I texted a sweet, “Good morning, beautiful” gif. No response. I sent another text a half hour later asking if everything was OK, and no response. I started to feel a knot in my stomach. On Saturday morning, I called Romeo and left a message. I thought that there might be a possibility that his phone had conked out, but deep down, I knew the truth. I never heard from Romeo again. Two incredible nights, romantic gestures, incredible kissing, cooking breakfast for me, paying for my cab, talking about the future, then poltergeist. What was it? Was it me? Did he decide that I was another “dented can?” I thought I was past this kind of craziness from men, that I was too savvy after 30-plus years of dating to be romantically conned again. Ah, but remember the song that says, “My heart should be well schooled, for I’ve been fooled in the past?” The next line is, “Still I fall in love too easily. I fall in love too fast.” DAMMIT. Thank the Universe that I didn’t have sex with him. If I’d have done that, the ghosting would have been much more devastating. From the emotion that I felt in his kisses, I may not have ever recovered from the emotions that sex with Romeo would have evoked. What makes this sting more sharply is
that before meeting Romeo, I’d resigned myself to being alone and felt fine about it. Finding true love had come to seem like a fairy tale notion for jaded ol’ me. Not everybody has to find the mythical “One,” and just because gay marriage is legal (for now) doesn’t make it a requirement. I was cool with being single, having my bevy of beautiful friends, my family, and the occasional kinky trick when the itch needed scratching. This experience with Romey shook that notion up and spun it around, making me long for and dream about romantic love again. DAMMIT. I suppose I was extra vulnerable. We’re all going through this pandemic, collectively trying to stay safe and socially distant. I’m touch starved, man starved, and affection starved. The anniversary of my HIV diagnosis is right around now (Nov. 4), and I’m always extra sensitive in the weeks surrounding that day. Add to that the stress of the political climate, rampant racism, violence, fear, so much that’s unknown. When I think about it with all that in mind, what defense did I have? Friends who I’ve shared the experience with have said well-meaning, encouraging things to me, like, “What an asshole!” “He’s crazy!” “Men are such fucktards!” and “Gay men are so damaged, they don’t even know how to be a grown-up.” All that may be true, but if Romeo is a damagedcrazy-asshole-fucktard, then who was I kissing? Thinking about him that way invalidates my experience. I don’t know why Romey chose to ghost me. I thought he was feeling what I felt. I had a fantastic whirlwind of a time with an incredibly attractive, smart, funny, artistic, super sexy, great guy. Moreover, he made me feel handsome, sexy, smart and all of it. It still sucks, though, and it’s going to be a bit before I again deem someone COVIDworthy. Heartache is another kind of virus, and I can’t imagine there’ll be a vaccine for that anytime soon. Charles Sanchez is a Mexican-American gay writer and actor living with HIV in New York City. A contributing editor for TheBody, he is also the creator, lead writer, and star of the award-winning musical comedy web series Merce, about a fabulous HIV-positive guy living in New York who isn’t sad, sick, or dying. This column is a project of TheBody, Plus, Positively Aware, POZ and Q Syndicate, the LGBT wire service. Visit their websites: http://thebody.com, http://hivplusmag. com, http://positivelyawar–e.com and http://poz.com – for the latest updates on HIV/AIDS.
The queer Christmas movies are heating up by Romeo San Vicente
Deep Inside Hollywood We told youto about the Kristen Stewart/Mackenzie Davis remake holiday Think back that flash of a moment in 2017’s live-action rom-com Happiest (dropping on Hulu as we speak); and how of Disney’s BeautySeason and the Beast, the Beast, one where it seemed that the two big cableEvans) holiday movie factories – Hallmark and inLifetime Gaston’s (Luke sidekick LeFou (Josh Gad) was, effect, coming outoffering as gay.The WeChristmas call it a flash because you blinked you – are also House and Theif Christmas Setup, missed it – that if you constant thread of LeFou respectively. Butis, now, outdon’t of thecount blue,the comes Dashing in December having a wild crush on Gaston – but (The that’sYoung another for from Paramount, starring Peter Porte andcomplaint the Restless) another now: LeFou gaygays (butare keep up,going Gad to is and Juan day. PabloIt’sDicanon Pace (Fuller House,isbut really heterosexual the gayClass actor, justinfor the record). remember himand bestEvans as the is Aerobics Guy Eric Prydz “CallNow On that have all all that background you can know that Disney+two is Me” you video). Like holiday TV movies, the premise is simple: developing a six-part series about the two approaches characters and men meet on a ranch prequel in the Midwest as Christmas and how they came such a ranch villainous team. It’llMacDowell also be musical, one of them triestotobe convince owner Andie to sell with songs from veteran Beauty composer Alan Menken. And the property. Short version: the holidays and rugged rural hot dudes = we’re just telling Disney be watching gingerbread-based romancenow, andbecause a happilywe’ll everall after. It drops onfrom the the social-distancing comfort of our homes and paying very close Paramount Network December 13. Get that boozy cocoa ready for the attention that LeFou better stay very, very, very gay or there will be Zoom watch party.
Waiting Exhale: the Joel KimtoBooster’s TripTV to series Quibi
Charmed reboot adds transgender actor J.J. Hawkins for season 3 The Baby-Sitters Club comes to Netflix
Romeo San Vicente has never set a bad ex’s clothes on fire. He stole them instead.
a riot.
One the more heartening developments in scripted narrative TV in Kids’’ofliterature Kids is no stranger to independent-minded tomboy the past fewcreated years has been theand mini-wave of lesbian transgender and such noncharacters by talented thoughtful authors, binary actors being in shows as both and transThe and Baby-Sitters cis characters.Club It’s as Harriet The Spycast by Louise Fitzhugh justAnn starting but the But ranksunlike keep growing. And you can add newcomer by M. Martin. Harriet, whose adventures spanned J.J. to that Hawkins,Club a gender-noncomforming transjust Hawkins two novels, The mix. Baby-Sitters became an enduring series masculine actor, is joining the cast of the Charmed on in the1995. CW throughout the ’80s and ’90s, with a feature filmreboot version network. Enteringa series seasonfrom threeNetflix after –a same 2018 name, start, the supernatural And now comes naturally – that drama that Mantock, Melonie Diaz and mains Sarah will bring thestars girls Madeleine up to date for a new generation. The four Jeffery will addnewcomers: Hawkins to the mix, Grace where as they’ll be Shay the series’ first are all relative Sophie Kristy, Rudolph as Stacey, Malia Baker as Mary-Anne, and Momona Tamadaalso as transgender character, a college student named Kevin. (Hawkins Claudia, with he/him Alicia Silverstone and Hawkins’ Mark Feuerstein uses pronouns interchangeably). career to providing this point grown-up support. There’s no drop date but that’s Netflix for has been spent playing supporting roles asyet, non-binary characters on you. waiting, there arelegal quite literally a couple seriesAnd suchwhile as Theyou’re Red Line and the CBS drama All Rise. The hundred books in this series, 24, waiting your childhood new season hits the air January 2021,totosatisfy brighten up your postnostalgia urge. holidays malaise.
A recent Twitter game: name something that isn’t queer, but actually is queer. usual icedBooster coffee,(The Carly Rae Two, Jepsen and Actor andThe stand up responses comic JoelofKim (The Other Two , which Selling Sunset were to be expected. But now we’ve heard that he co-produces) is taking his new project to that Quibi, the streaming aplatform Waiting for to Exhale seriesseries. is in development at ABC, to short-form It’s called Trip Trip, , andwe’d he’ll like write, play along. Naturally is behind it, because he’sfriends seemingly produce and star inLee it, aDaniels mini-sitcom about two gay on behind and The it comes with issome excellent vacationeverything, in Fire Island. twist here that Trip Trip, , whilebehind-theostensibly scenes talentdoing with atypical pilot from sisters Attica Locke (When They See about gays gay things in a gay place, is inspired by Us) Tembi Lock Have I Ever), be directed by Anthony Janeand Austen’s Pride (Never and Prejudice (can’t to wait to see who the Mr. Hemingway (Genius: the Darcy turns out to be).Aretha). This willTerry markMcMillan, Booster’s who debutauthored as a series original about looking four women navigating romance friendship creator, book and we’re forward to seeing howand much of his on which the 1995 Loretta Devine-, Whitney Houston-, Lela Rochon-, stand-up material – which sometimes involves discussions of his religious upbringing and always includes of his life producer. as a gay, Angela Bassett-starring film was based, willdetails act as consulting Asian man – will it into final product. Noone. matter There’s no cast yetmake but we havethe high hopes for this Staywhat, tuned.it’s a trip we’re ready to take.
American Gigolo calling for Showtime Falling finds Viggo Mortensen behind the camera Feeling a sense deja-vu? Well, it’s conservative because American Gigolo the The queer child of having to deal with parentsGigolo, is, at , this stylish 1980 male escort drama starring Richard Gere and Lauren point, a cliché in LGBTQ+ dramas about family conflict, but Viggo Hutton, keeps promising to become a TV series and then just… not. Mortensen’s new film, Falling, will put its own spin on the familiar In its day, the film was obsessed over for its fashionable details, as narrative trope. Mortensen writes, directs and stars in the film as well as for its strange straddling of queer panic and queer pleasure, the gay son who chooses to care for his aging, conservative father all while objectifying its occasionally nude star. But now comes (Lance Henriksen), transplanting Dad from a rural area to a new life another chance of resurrection at Showtime, where Jon Bernthal in Los vAngeles. going assume sort of who mutual understanding (Ford Ferrari)We’re Ferrari) will star astothe sex aworker was framed for develops between these characters, the reconciliation murder. David Hollander (Ray Donovan) (Ray Donovan ) is penning so themany scriptqueer that people from Ozark star Laura updateslong thefor story to reactionary present dayfamily (and members. yet set only 18 years after Linney and Hannah round your out the castwrapped of the heartfelt the original story, soGross good (Tesla) luck keeping mind around drama. It premiered January at the SundancetoFilm which that), as the older, in wiser Gigolo struggles findFestival his way– in the now seems a decade agoAngeles, – and drops in the UKtoinsort December. modern sexlike industry of Los all while trying out the A U.S.about release is framed forthcoming, in theago. newWe’re year,not andholding maybe truth who him soprobably many years you’ll be able to convince your we right-wing parents ittobefore, watchbut it. our breath for this one because were promised Wouldn’t that be nice?delightfully trashy reality series Gigolos is no now that Showtime’s more, there’s a vacant space in our hearts waiting for a hero.
photo credit Starfrenzy Romeo San Vicente is a full round trip all by himself.
