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EDitor’sNOTE
Hello Atlanta! At what point do you ask your girlfriend for her hand in “marriage”? What do you call your boyfriend of two, three, five, ten years? If you can’t get married, what can you do? Georgia, our sweet beloved southern state, makes partnering a little challenging at times. That’s an understatement. But what can you do to take your relationship to the next level of eternal love? Fenuxe explored the world of partnering. We found plenty of ways for you to express your everlasting devotion to the one you love. We broke through the confusion, from ways of proposing with fashionable bling, to keeping your sizzling social life, to the nitty-gritty of officially validating your relationship. Use this issue of Fenuxe to help express your adoration to your partner. We might not have all the rights within the LGBT community, but we sure have the love. See you in two weeks!
William
William Duffee-Braun Editor-In-Chief
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Published by TW MEDIA GROUP ©2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 1123 Zonolite Road, Suite 7B, Atlanta, GA 30306 Phone: 404.835.2016 Fax: 404.835.2356 Opinions and claims made by advertisers are those of the advertisers only. Fenuxe accepts no liability for any claims made by advertisers. The views and opinions expressed in this issue are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any agency of TW Media Group, LLC.
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Publisher TW Media Group, LLC Editor-In-Chief William Duffee-Braun Graphic Art Director Christopher Barker Senior Writer Patrick Saunders Contributing Photographer Louis Lindic Fashion Photographer Louis Lindic Sales Executive Jessica Olson, Jeff Anderson Graphic Intern Paige Allen Contributing Writers/Editors Kelley Pounders, Lucy Dixon
To Advertise, please call 404.835.2016 or visit www.fenuxe.com Any photographs of persons are the responsibility of the submitter who expressly indemnifies Fenuxe Magazine (henceforth “Fenuxe”) and its affiliates against claims for any unauthorized use thereof. In conjunction with this indemnity, the submitter expressly warrants that use of any photos submitted is fully authorized by the subject and photographer. Fenuxe reserves the right to publish submissions of photographs or other images without providing credit for images. Fenuxe does not guarantee that credit will be provided for any material. The appearance of subjects and contributors in photographs or editorial matter in Fenuxe is not to be construed as indicative of the sexual orientation or personal practices of any individual. No implication with respect thereto is intended, and none should be inferred.
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14 FeatureContents 2010.17.6
10
Seven Partnership Myths Can we have it all?
12
Love Stones
Engaging jewelry
19
F.E.N.U.X.E
Fashion Amore DĂŠcor Events We Are Family Nightlife One Night Only Urban Culture Engagements X-plore Morocco Eats Two Urban Licks
14
22
Red State Blues
Protect each other
27
The Agenda
Atlanta happenings: Business, Culture & Nightlife
Midtown Atlanta Directory
29 30
Full feature map of Bars, Clubs, Restaurants, Attractions, etc.
Together
ATL’s committed couples
40 Flashing Lights
Crossword Puzzle Enter to WIN
42
44 Ask Mary In The Stars 46 Humorous advice from Mary Makers-McMark
22
30
they? Whether you're ten years into a relationship, ten years out of one or never had one at all, we could all benefit from exploring the myths about partnerships.
We've all heard the myths and some of us have contributed to spreading them. But how true are
7 MYTHS ABOUT PARTNERSHIP TOP
MYTH #1: YOuR SOCIAL LIFe IS DeAD. We've all had friends by our side at the club every week who found a partner and disappeared from the scene quicker than popped collars. But that doesn't mean they're not social anymore---they're fine-tuning. They're just paying more attention to the Cultural Agenda [page 27] than the Nightlife Agenda [page 28].
MYTH #2: PARTNeRSHIPS AReN'T POSSIBLe. You know that one in your social circle who's constantly bemoaning the state of gay relationships? “All men are whores,” “I'll never find a good woman,” etc. Cynicism is not an attractive quality. Look around you and you will see successful, loving partnerships. They're real and they are attainable, so get off the cross, we need the wood!
MYTH #3: YOuNGeR PARTNeRS ARe JuST LOOKING FOR A SuGAR DADDY OR SuGAR MOMMA.
She's 47 and her partner is 23. He's 54 and his partner is 22. We scoff, we joke and we assume. We can't imagine how they even hold a conversation. We're all looking for something in a relationship, but it's not always about money, or the search for a mother or father figure. Sometimes, people just click.
MYTH #4: GAY COuPLeS CAN'T HAVe KIDS. Let us count the ways! Many gay men and women come into a partnership with children from a previous attempt at a straight relationship. Artificial insemination is another way, often with a lesbian couple getting the sperm from a trusted gay male friend, or a gay male couple donating sperm to a trusted lesbian friend to be a surrogate mother. even though there are hurdles, gay adoption is legal in Georgia.
MYTH #5: OPeN ReLATIONSHIPS AReN'T ReAL PARTNeRSHIPS.
Open relationships aren't for everybody, but they're more common and more successful than you think. If a couple is honest with each other about their needs and, most importantly, establishes clear-cut ground rules, an open relationship can be a healthy part of strengthening the bond between partners.
MYTH #6: YOu GeT FAT. That was the sound of forkfuls of enchiladas being dropped at No Mas Cantina. Look, a healthy body image in the gay community is about as common as a Mormon drag queen. When partners get together, they don't stop taking care of their bodies just because they've snagged each other. even if they do, it's a healthier alternative to have love and love handles than be alone and emaciated.
MYTH #7: YOuR SeX LIFe SuCKS. The first few months it was every day, then a few times a week, then weekly, then...what year is it? True, that initial spark makes for hot times in the sack during the honeymoon phase of a partnership. But relationships are about ebbs and flows. The best partnerships have that spark in supply at all times, just waiting to be lit. 10
FENUXEMAGAZINE
LOVE STONES
Support a gay-friendly business! Palas Jewelers 3209 Paces Ferry Pl., #10 Atlanta, GA 30305 404-846-8122 www.palasjewelers.com
There's
a reason a ring is used to cement the bond between two people as they partner up for life: jewelry is the ultimate gift of love. Whether you're shopping for commitment ceremony rings or another piece of jewelry to show your love for your beloved, Fenuxe has this season's freshest finery.
Diamond Water, 14k Yellow Gold, Black Rose and Gray Rose Cut Diamond Ring $1192.00 Rebecca Overmann collection at Palas Jewelers
We spoke with Krista Oguz, owner of the upscale, gay-friendly Palas Jewelers in Buckhead, to let us know what's in vogue for those in love. Palas' pieces are almost all custom-made and Oguz says you're in luck if you want something unique. “There's so much out there, there are literally thousands of jewelry vendors,” she says. “It would be really unusual if you ran into someone who had the same thing.”
Tungsten Carbide Band with high polish, brush finish and 3 flush mount black diamonds $729.00 Worthmore Jewelers
Men are trending towards alternative metals like tungsten and titanium for the big day. They're scratch-resistant and can take a lot of wear and tear without sacrificing quality or style. “You're not afraid to take it off at the gym but it still looks really interesting,” says Oguz. Darker hues aren't just for the boys either. Oguz says women are betting on black for their rings as well. “We're doing a lot of black gold and black diamonds for women,” she says. “Black is the new trend, it has more of a modern vintage look.” If you're watching the budget and want to wait till the 10th anniversary to trade diamond rings, stick with sapphire. It's harder than emerald and looks fabulous in yellow, green, purple or white. Looking for bracelets or necklaces instead? Brown and black leather and pearls are in for men, with the occasional pyrite piece (fool's gold) making the rounds. Women are outshining the men with druzy quartz being a popular pick. It sparkles like a geode and comes in a cornucopia of colors.
3mm Picasso jasper Ojime Leather Bracelet $250.00 David Yurman
12
FENUXEMAGAZINE
Technology does play a role in decision-making. “Most people are really informed nowadays,” says Oguz. “Mostly because their partner has printed out a picture of what they want.” Looking for a more surprising approach? See the consultants at Palas Jewelers!
GEORGIA EQUALITY PRESENTS
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June 24, 2010
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FENUXE
F FASHION
THE ceremony date is set but now you need the décor to set the mood! Colors, themes and floral choices vary from couple to couple according to eva Behrendt, co-owner of the gay-friendly Grant Park event design company Tulip. everybody wants their day to be unlike any other. “People always want something that's never been done before, but then they ask for pictures,” Behrendt says with a laugh. But you can still get a dream ceremony tailored totally for you and your partner. “You design around the couple, around what they like,” she says. “You find out what their style is, and of course their budget, and you create their vision.” And we've got the visions that are emerging in this burgeoning summer of love! The hot new colors for commitment? Purple is a start, but yellow will melt hearts. The wedding décor du jour depends on the venue but the trends to look out for are hanging candle lights, hanging flowers and an abundance of uplighting.
Am A mor ore e Décor
In the realm of centerpieces, the latest look is familiar to our community: embracing diversity. “There's more of a variety of centerpieces, not just the typical glass or silver but all different textures and sizes,” Behrendt says. The budget-conscious couple should stick with the flowers in-season, including the latest love buds like dalias, spider gerbera daisies and especially peonies. “Peonies are beautiful right now,” Behrendt says. “They open up really wide and smell really nice!” So you don't need to go with the routine roses or hydrangeas, but if you like the classics then incorporate different textures to flip the script a bit. Fenuxe prefers a floral fix for the sensitive sinuses. “We did paper flowers the other week because the groom was allergic,” Behrendt says.
14
So no matter the couple, the tastes or the sexual orientation, there's a way for you to design your perfect day together with class, style and passion! FENUXEMAGAZINE
FENUXE
E EVENTS
WE ARE
FAMILY Being partnered up in the LGBT community doesn't mean you can't party down. But if you've also got children, you'll need to get creative to find events for the entire family to enjoy. Fenuxe found two weeks worth of the freshest gay-friendly, kid-friendly events, whether you're a parent with a kid or just a kid at heart. THURS., jUNE 17TH AT DUSK You've got a family-friendly film in the heart of Midtown: “Back to the Future” at Central Park in Atlantic Station! The screen lights up as the skies go dark, so lay back and introduce the little ones to a piece of your childhood. FRI., jUNE 18TH, 5PM-MIDNIGHT The kids will barely get in an “Are we there yet?” before you get to this beach. 60 tons of sand cover the square in Decatur for a night at the 25th Annual Decatur Beach Party. Live music and children's games are just a few of the treats to keep the kids content and the proud parents pleased!
SAT., jUNE 19TH AT 10AM It's Father's Day eve and the MeGA Family Project is hosting a Doughnuts for Dad Social Meet-Up at Piedmont Park. Mix and mingle with other LGBT families in preparation for Dad's big day. SUN., jUNE 20TH Happy Father's Day! Savor those new ties, coffee mugs and macaroni drawings, Dads—you've earned it! MON., jUNE 21ST It might be just another day to you but it's a national holiday to your kids: break out the slip 'n slides and super soakers because it's the first day of summer! WED., jUNE 23RD AT NOON It's not just a dream. Load up the kids, head to Philips Arena, settle in with hot dogs and sodas and watch the Atlanta Dream tip off against the Tulsa Shock. Don't worry if you can't make it, you've got two more home games before the month is out and several more throughout the summer! THURS., jUNE 24TH AT DUSK A tough choice between Midtown movies! We've got “Jurassic Park” at Screen on the Green in Piedmont Park and “Mamma Mia” at Central Park in Atlantic Station. The kids might hope for Han and Leia but don't miss out on the musical! SAT., jUNE 26TH AT 8AM Show off your family pride at the 20th Annual Atlanta Pride Run & Walk. Watch and cheer or join the fray as you parade through Midtown with your partner, your children, your life on display. It's 2010 and it's getting better to be a gay parent!
FENUXEMAGAZINE
15
FENUXE
N NIGHTLIFE
ONE NIGHT
The weekend is clear for once and you
ONLY
and your partner finally have a night out together. But what to do? The packed clubs aren’t your fancy anymore but you still like to get out and toast the town when you can. Here are a few ideas over the next couple weeks for partners to let loose and live it up!
Thurs, June 17 th @ 7:30 PM Sun. June 20th at 5PM New Orleans novelist Greg Herren is back at Outwrite with another marvelous murder mystery set in the French Quarter! “Vieux Carre Voodoo” is his latest and it's packed with gay characters, romance and loads of intrigue. Head across the street to Nonna Mia or Nickiemoto's afterward for drinks and a delightful dish.
“The L Word” might have ended last March, but Showtime wasn’t done exploring the lives of lesbians. Amsterdam is the site of the premiere party for the first gay-themed premium cable reality TV series, “The Real L Word.” Settle in and watch the drama unfold!
Fri., June 18 th -Sun., June 20 th Wed., June 23rd @7PM It's time to be spontaneous! Make it an overnighter and hit the road for the first ever Augusta Pride. The parade is Saturday morning at 10:30AM and the festival goes on all weekend at the Augusta Commons. Mix it up a little bit, check out a new city and support Pride everywhere!
Head for Radial in Candler Park for Out & Loud: Stories of Atlanta's LGBTQ Community. The people behind StoryCorps present this revealing glimpse into the unique lives of those in our wonderful community. Soak up some storytime for adults!
Sat., June 19th @ 8PM Thurs., June 24th @ 5:30PM Do you miss the drag shows? The Commons in downtown east Point will be awash in wigs and stilettos once more at the 13th Annual East Point Possums Show. The benefit for Atlanta Pride and the Atlanta Lesbian Health Initiative grows bigger and more outrageous every year. It's a great excuse to get out of the house and into the city for a night. 16 FENUXEMAGAZINE
Dress to the nines and make it a date at Georgia Equality's Evening for Equality at Ventanas. All the players in the LGBT community will be there to fete this year's award winners and raise money for our biggest advocacy group.
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FENUXE
U
EXQUISITE ENGAGEMENTS
URBAN CULTURE
YOU
know they're “the one” and you’re ready to make the ultimate commitment: partnership. But where in our fair city do you go to get down on one knee and say “Be mine”? What story do you want to tell your friends and family 10, 20 or 30 years from now when they ask how you proposed? More importantly, which location will mean the most to your significant other? Luckily, there are several Atlanta settings to create the perfect proposal.
RESTAURANTS If you’ve decided to go the restaurant route, go top shelf. Veer towards Vinings for a visit to Canoe. Walk hand-in-hand through the gorgeous grounds after your meal then make your move---they’ll never forget that sweet surprise. Back in-town is Bacchanalia, a hipper upscale option to pop the question. Sensible solution for our Fenuxe ladies: the Bacchanalia were winefueled women-only festivals in ancient Rome. The fave is on the 30th floor of the Hilton downtown: Nikolai’s Roof. It’s a refined classic with stunning views of the city skyline that will guarantee the answer you seek.
SPORTING EVENTS You and your mate have a sports fix? Let everyone know about it by arranging a video board proposal during a Braves, Falcons or Hawks game. That’s right, each venue offers the option and they don’t specify gender or sexual orientation. Turner Field has packages starting at just $55, the Georgia Dome limits their video messages to premium seat license holders and season ticket holders and Philips Arena goes all out with a $500 package that includes two tickets, a video board proposal during a timeout, a DVD copy of the proposal and a dozen roses delivered to your seats by the Hawks mascot. Make a statement with your love!
THE GREAT OUTDOORS There are so many other unique options in Atlanta to make the perfect proposal. Hike up Stone Mountain, gaze out on that spectacular view and seize the moment. Turn a “routine” early evening walk around the lake at Piedmont Park into a life-altering event. Let rain lilies and perennial gladiolus be your witnesses at the Atlanta Botanical Garden. Ask them on Peachtree Street in front of 300,000 of your closest friends at the Pride Festival. But the location we love most is the simplest: ask them to marry you at the place you met. Go back to where it all began to kick off the next phase in your life’s journey together! 18
FENUXEMAGAZINE
FENUXE
X
X-PLORE
YOU'VE both got vacation time to spare
and you know you deserve it! The long weekend trips to Miami or Provincetown are nice, but it's time to go all out. It's time to go exotic. It's time to go to Morocco. Get cozy together on one of Delta's daily flights from Hartsfield-Jackson to Marrakech-Menara International Airport. The flight is long but trust us, the reward is worth the effort!
Mithly, Morocco’s first gay magazine, debuted this year.
Marrakech is a unique blend of ancient architecture and modern conveniences, and it's the most gay-friendly area in all of Morocco. Technically, homosexuality is illegal there but the law is rarely enforced. There's even a gay magazine in Morocco called Mithly---and no, Fenuxe hasn't expanded our distribution list that far. Yet.
You two will find ample transportation options in Marrakech including buses, taxis and rental cars. Luckily you only have a 10-minute ride to your lavish home for the week: the gorgeous, gay-friendly Bled Al Fassia hotel. The entrance to this unforgettable oasis only hints at the beauty in store. Large, open rooms give way to the patio overlooking the stunning Atlas Mountains. Palm and olive trees line the courtyard leading out to a massive pool that's perfect for a refreshing dip. Towel off then curl up next to each other on the poolside swing and take it in. Settle in for dinner at the resort's Al Fassia Restaurant. You'll get the best in traditional Moroccan dishes and an even better Moroccan wine selection you won't see back home. Toast each other under the sparkling skies as you peer out on the majestic mountain views. Then it's back to the room for some “personal” time. You're not the first couple to consider Morocco an aphrodisiac! FENUXEMAGAZINE
19
If the clubbing isn't out of your system, make sure to hit the world-renowned Pacha Marrakech before your stay ends. It's a destination for dance music with massive crowds packing the floor each night. Grab hold of each other and disappear together. The next day, an afternoon excursion is in order. Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for a mule ride to Kasbah! Soak in the history as you tour the ruins before exploring the captivating villages dotting the area. Another day trip not to be missed is a visit to the botanical garden. This isn't any canopy walk either, it's the stunning creation of French artist Jacques Majorelle that's widely considered his masterpiece. It's also the final resting place of the garden's owner, whose name you might recognize: Yves Saint-Laurent. Simply breathtaking.
Get
ready for your first full day in Morocco! It’s time to shop in the markets of Marrakech. You name it and you’ll find it here, from radiant rugs and pottery to woodwork and leather goods. Plus, you can tell people at home, “Oh that piece? We grabbed it on our trip to Morocco!”
The accommodations, the attractions, the food, the nightlife---it's all there in Morocco. But if you want a twist to your stay, go on a culinary vacation. Let the professionals do the work and planning.
Atlanta-based travel company Food & Wine Vacations has the perfect Moroccan itinerary where you get daily cooking lessons right on the resort and still have time for sightseeing trips around the beautiful land. Sometimes it's not just about sampling the culture of foreign lands, it's about complete immersion in the experience and there's no better way to do so The Museum of Marrakech is nearby. Stop than by a culinary vacation. in to experience beautiful art from a different culture. Housed in a restored palace, Whatever path you choose, it's the right path if it the building itself looks to be a work of art leads to Morocco. with its intricate cream-colored tilework and classic Andalusian architecture. The art inside is much like the city itself, a mixture of the classic and contemporary. You'll enjoy discussing the similarities of Marrakech's museum to our beloved High back home. From one palace to another, it's time for dinner at Yacout for the best in Moroccan cuisine. Follow the lanterns to your table and don't bother looking for a menu: entrée after entrée come out of the kitchen for your pleasure. The roast pigeon with cinnamon is to die for! Due to local laws, you won't find any gay bars in Morocco, but you will find a selection of spots known to attract a combination of gay and straight clientele where no one will bat an eye at same-sex contact. The Fenuxe fave is Comptoir Darna, a hip upscale club where locals and foreigners alike come to play. Grab a corner booth with your mate and sip on one of Comptoir Darna's smooth signature cocktails as the DJ wraps intoxicating North African beats around you both. 20 FENUXEMAGAZINE
FENUXE
E EATS
toNight is not a takeout night. You want your two best friends to join you for a double date night out, you want gay-friendly and palate-friendly. You want TWO urban licks.
INSIDEDISH Thai Tuna Tartare 8 oz. Blue Fin Sushi Grade Tuna 8 Wonton Triangles (fried) 1 cup Daikon Sprouts 1 Mango 2 Shallots Method: Fine dice the shallots and set aside. Then small dice the tuna and the mango. Put the three together and season with salt. Place in the refrigerator while you prepare the avocado mayonnaise and the sriracha aioli. Avocado Mayonnaise 2 Avocados 1 cup Mayonnaise 1 Lime ( juice of) 2 tbsp Palm Sugar Method: Place all of the ingredients into a food processor and blend. Salt to taste. Sriracha Aioli 1 cup Mayonnaise 2 tbsp Sriracha 1 tbsp Roasted Garlic PurĂŠe 0.5 oz. Rice Wine Vinegar Method: Place all of the ingredients into a food processor and blend. Salt to taste. Take the fried wonton chips and spread a thin layer of the avocado mayonnaise on the chips. Next, pile the tuna mixture on top of the wonton chip. On top of the tuna mixture place the sriracha aioli (amount depends on how spicy you like the tuna tartare). Garnish with the daikon sprouts & enjoy! (Serves 2-4 people)
The Poncey Highlands eatery grabs your attention the second you walk through the door. Yes, that is a 14-foot tall wood pit rotisserie tower in the middle of the room. Yes, that is the illuminating Atlanta skyline you see through the enormous windows, and yes that's a live blues band for your evening. The vino is varied, with about 20 reds and 20 whites to choose. If you fancy a beer, there's more than enough foreign and domestics to suit you. We prefer TWO's citrus kiss, a sweet summer blend of Absolut, lemons and limes. Take it outside for a game of bocce ball on the patio---a little friendly competition always kicks a night off right. But it won't beat what's in store for you next. TWO's menu is short and to the point, and it's simplicity you can appreciate. Start off with some salmon chips with chipotle cream cheese. It's just the right blend of taste, texture and spice. If you want something a little more decadent but still scrumptious, go with the lamb lollipops. The Fenuxe fave for the main course is the tanglewood farm duck breast. Sit back and watch executive Chef Cameron Thompson work his wonders on this scrumptious, Italian sausagestuffed dish with ancho barbecue jus. But make room for more, because it's time to select from pastry chef Jonathan St. Hilaire's divine dessert menu. The cupcakes and ice cream are your best bet. It's a chocolate cupcake with chocolate frosting, a banana cupcake with caramel mousse, a spiced carrot cupcake with cream cheese frosting and brown sugar ice cream to round it all out. De. Lish. So takeout night is avoided, goodbyes to friends are made and you two just had another fantastic dinner at an Atlanta gem. TWO urban licks. 21 FENUXEMAGAZINE
How To Protect Your Partner and Yourself
Jeff Graham has been working for LGBT causes for 25 years of ups and downs, but one event stung the Executive Director of Georgia Equality the hardest. “It was really one of the most depressing times as an LGBT activist that I've ever had,” he says. “It felt like the entire citizenship of Georgia was against us.”
He's talking about the 2004 defense of marriage amendment which made it unconstitutional for the state to recognize or perform same-sex marriages or civil unions. 76% of Georgia citizens voted to approve the amendment. This followed a 1996 statute that had already prohibited same-sex marriage. The state doesn't recognize domestic partnerships either. So Georgia’s LGBT community is left without vital protections if they’re in a committed relationship. But is there a way around it so we get similar legal protections? 22
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Not when it comes to tax time. You can claim your partner as a dependent for a personal exemption, but the partner must earn less than the personal exemption amount, which was $3,650 in 2009. Even if you receive health insurance benefits under a domestic partner benefit plan, the value of the plan is taxable to you as income. You can't claim deductions for your partner's medical expenses unless they qualify as your dependent. But there are other ways. “Georgia couples can mimic most of the partnership benefits that states with civil unions and partnerships offer through various legal documents,” says attorney Gideon Alper, publisher of the Atlanta Divorce Law Blog. “It's more expensive, more difficult, and more risky, but it's possible.”
The secret to any semblance of a gay marriage in Georgia appears to be The Big Four Documents: a domestic partnership agreement, a living will, a power of attorney and a healthcare directive. The domestic partnership agreement is key. It outlines how your property and finances work in the partnership, i.e. who owns what part of property, who pays for which expense and what happens if you separate. It doesn't require the services of an attorney, either. “There's no official form for a domestic partnership agreement,” Alper says. “These don't need to filled with legal terminology and can be written by the couple themselves with plain language.” Attorney David Shaffner reiterates the importance of the agreement. “It's just common sense that two people who are going to share anything should have an understanding about how they're going to share it,” he says. No matter how much we dread it, drawing up a will is the next step. “They do need to have a will if they have any property at all, especially LGBT community members,” says Shaffner. Without a will, a partner can often end up with nothing after many devoted years of commitment. “The good thing about wills is that they're easy to make, easy to change, and you can keep what it says to yourself,” Alper says. What if you or your partner are in a serious accident or in a coma? A power of attorney can provide you the protection you need to avoid even more heartache. It gives the other partner the authority to handle your finances while you are incapacitated. You don't have to sign your life savings away either. “The same document can place limits on the power, for example they can't sell your car or they can't touch a certain bank account,” Alper says. A healthcare directive is the final vital document to file with your partner. It's an outgrowth of the living will that gives your partner the power to make medical decisions on your behalf should you be incapacitated. “The people who are your most intimate associates, they should be on your healthcare directive,” says Shaffner. There are other reasons to file these four forms that go beyond finances and health care. “Creating these documents can strengthen a relationship,” Alper says. “Partners may feel closer emotionally through the legal ties they make.” 24
FENUXEMAGAZINE
“The couples that are clear about expectations usually avoid pitfalls,” Shaffner says. But while filing The Big Four Documents is an intelligent alternative to legal marriage for LGBT people, ultimately the goal is complete legal protection on a state and federal level. Realistically, how long is that going to take? While Georgia Equality's Graham acknowledges that mounting a serious challenge to overturning the 1996 statute and 2004 amendment might be “several years” away, his experience in the middle of the fight has taught him an important lesson. “It is imperative for all of us to speak out about gay marriage, to speak to our friends, family, co-workers, the people we grew up with,” he says. “That sense of basic fairness is what's going to propel us forward.” Graham cites a recent poll saying the percentage of people against same-sex marriage is at 53%---down from 76% in 2004. “To have such a huge change in public opinion in just a few years?,” he says. “That gives me hope for the future.”
Pam Schloemer is a prominent figure in the business community, providing vital accounting services that help the LGBT community in particular. LGBT couples in partnerships have no legal recognition of marriage in the state of Georgia, which can greatly affect their financial situation. As president of Schloemer Bookkeeping Services, Schloemer is dedicated to helping us all get our finances in order. She sat down with us to talk about the business. Fenuxe: What services does Schloemer Bookkeeping Services provide? PS: We are a full service bookkeeping and accounting service that provides administrative and operational support to the metro Atlanta area. Fenuxe: So what kinds of financial issues do couples run into?
Pam Schloemer
Pam Schloemer , President
÷ + SCHLOEMER BOOKKEEPING x = SERVICES www.schloemerbookkeeping.com pam@schloemerbookkeeping.com 770.237.9173
PS: If something happens to one of them and they haven't taken care of the legal process, it can become very ugly very quick. Other big issues are misspending, overspending or they don't know where their money goes. The number one cause of breakups is financial stress. If there's a dispute over money, it's as big an issue as someone having an affair. Fenuxe: And Schloemer Bookkeeping Services can help couples get out of that mess. PS: It's so you make appropriate financial decisions. It allows planning, it allows you to deal with your estates and wills. It's about being together and making the most of your money and not having financial problems. You create a financial partnership with each other. I want people to have total financial control. It doesn't necessarily mean that they're richer, it's that they know exactly where their money is. You can't plan if you don't know where your money's been. FENUXEMAGAZINE
25
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Friday, 6/18 Atlanta City Sales Club, Petite Auberge, 12PM Saturday, 6/19 Atlanta Business Women’s Association, Chapel Park Clubhouse (Decatur), 11AM
Thursday, 6/17 Red Stripe MidSummer Music Festival, Candler Park, 12PM Author Greg Herren, Outwrite Bookstore, 7:30PM “Someone Bought the House on the Island,” First Existentialist Congregation of Atlanta, 7:30PM “True Love Lies,” Horizon Theatre, 8PM
Saturday, 6/19 Irwin Street Outdoor Artist Market, Old Fourth Ward, 8:30AM Akoma Book Club, Charis, 10:30AM Open Play with Atlanta Team Tennis Association, Glenlake Tennis Center, 1PM E. Lynn Harris Tribute, Outwrite Bookstore, 7:30PM Sunday, 6/20 Hotlanta Softball League, West Metro Softball Complex, 9AM Father’s Day in the Garden, Atlanta Botanical
Thursday, 6/24 Buckhead Business Association breakfast, Anthony’s Restaurant, 7:30AM Leads to Business, Metro Atlanta Chamber, 12:30PM
Wednesday, 6/23 Metro Atlanta Chamber, Tin Lizzy’s, 11:30AM AGLCC Business Builder Luncheon, East Point Corner Tavern, 11:55AM Atlanta Business Women’s Association, Holiday Inn – Virginia Avenue, 6:30PM
Friday, 6/25 Atlanta City Sales Club, Petite Auberge, 12PM
Garden, 9AM “Daughters of Men,” Woodruff Arts Center, 4PM Tuesday, 6/22 Hotlanta Volleyball Intermediate Games, Agnes Scott College, 7:30PM
Swimming & Water Polo with Atlanta Rainbow Trout, GA Tech Aquatic
Center, 7:30PM
Wednesday, 6/23 Atlanta Dream vs. Tulsa Shock, Philips Arena, 12PM Dine Out with For The Kid In All of Us, La Tavola, 5:30PM Queer Literary Fiction Book Group, Charis, 7PM StoryCorps Atlanta: Out and Outloud, Radial, 7PM Thursday, 6/24 Georgia Equality’s Evening For Equality, Ventanas, 5:30PM Friday, 6/25 Fashion & Philanthropy 2010: His Fashion on the Runway, Marriott Atlanta Buckhead, 6PM Strange Loops art show, Sycamore Place Gallery, 7PM “Hedwig & The Angry Inch,” LeBuzz, 8PM
Saturday, 6/26 2010 Pride Run & Walk, Piedmont Park, 8AM Irwin Street Outdoor Artist Market, Old Fourth Ward, 8:30AM Sylvia Rivera Stonewall Community Brunch, Central Presbyterian Church, 11:45AM Stonewall Pride: Picnic in the Park, Piedmont Park, 3PM “Lena’s Horn to Hollywood,” 14th Street Playhouse, 8PM Sunday, 6/27 Atlanta Dream vs. Los Angeles Sparks, Philips Arena, 3PM “Loot” by Joe Orton, Onstage Atlanta, 5PM Tuesday, 6/29 Atlanta Dream vs. Phoenix Mercury, Philips Arena, 7PM Hotlanta Volleyball Intermediate Games, Agnes Scott College, 7:30PM Wednesday, 6/30 Wednesday Run with Front Runners Atlanta, John Howell Park, 6:30PM “The Phantom of the Opera,” Fox Theatre, 8PM
FENUXEMAGAZINE
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CULTURAL Agenda
Friday, 6/18 Studio Ceramics 2010 art show, Signature Shop & Gallery, 6PM “Shrew” at Georgia Shakespeare, 8PM “Little House on the Prairie,” Fox Theatre, 8PM “Reasons to be Pretty,” Woodruff Arts Center, 8PM
Tuesday, 6/22 Atlanta Women’s Network Luncheon, 103 West, 11:30AM AGLCC Business Builder Luncheon, Carpe Diem, 11:55AM
Business Agenda
Thursday, 6/17 Buckhead Business Association breakfast, Anthony’s Restaurant, 7:30AM Atlanta Business Women’s Association, City Grill, 11:30AM AEN presents Simone Bell, Alston + Bird, 6:30PM
Thursday, 6/17 Texas Hold ‘Em Poker & The Shawnna Factor, Blake’s, 7PM “Dreamgirls” at Screen on the Green, Piedmont Park, 8PM Ladies Night, LeBuzz, 8PM Indulge, The W Midtown, 9PM Princess Charles’ Fashionistas, Burkhart’s, 11:30AM
NIGHTLIFE Agenda
Friday, 6/18 Friday Jazz, High Museum of Art, 5PM Decatur Beach Party, Decatur Square, 5PM Who? music showcase, Bellissima, 8PM Fun Friday, Jungle, 10PM Primal Urges, The Heretic, 10PM Saturday, 6/19 East Point Possums Show, East Point Commons, 8PM Hot Mess! party, Mary’s, 9PM Girl Kraze Saturdays, My Sister’s Room, 10PM Jealouse’s Daring Divas, Blake’s, 11PM Saturday Night Fever, LeBuzz, 11PM The Mary Edith Pitts Show, Burkhart’s, 11:30PM Sunday, 6/20 Sunday Dinner, Model T, 3:30PM The Real L Word Premiere Event, Amsterdam, 8PM The Armorettes, Blake’s, 8PM Mary Edith Pitts Sunday Spectacular, Burkhart’s, 9PM Monday, 6/21 Texas Hold ‘Em, Woofs, 7:30PM Dragamaki, Nickiemoto’s, 8:30PM Service Industry Night, Model T, 9PM Drag on the Edge, Blake’s, 11PM Tuesday, 6/22 Truth or Dare Tuesdays, LeBuzz, 5PM My Big Fat Gay Bingo, Frogs, 7PM 28
FENUXEMAGAZINE
2 For 1 Tuesdays, Nonna Mia, 7PM Family Poker Night and Dancing, 3-Legged Cowboy, 7:30PM Mary-oke, Mary’s, 9PM Karaoke with Richard, Burkhart’s, 11PM Wednesday, 6/23 Crazy Bitch Bingo, Joe’s, 8PM Fantasy Girls, Jungle 9PM Comedy Video Night, Mixx, 9PM Spotlight Karaoke, My Sister’s Room, 10PM Dress Code Party, The Heretic, 10PM Thursday, 6/24 Texas Hold’em Poker, Blake’s, 7PM “Star Wars” at Screen on the Green, Piedmont Park, 8PM Indulge, The W Midtown, 9PM Friday, 6/25 Friday Happy Hour, Bellissima, 6PM DJ Steve James, Amsterdam, 9PM Primal Urges, The Heretic, 10PM Kitty LeClaw’s Meow Mix, Blake’s, 11PM The Mary Edith Pitts Show, Burkhart’s, 11:30PM Saturday, 6/26 Hot Mess! party, Mary’s, 9PM DJ Cedric Gervais, Opera, 10PM Girl Kraze Saturdays, My Sister’s Room, 10PM Jealouse’s Daring Divas, Blake’s, 11PM Saturday Night Fever, LeBuzz, 11PM The Mary Edith Pitts Show, Burkhart’s, 11:30PM Sunday, 6/27 Sunday Dinner, Model T, 3:30PM The Armorettes, Blake’s, 8PM Mary Edith Pitts’ Sunday Spectacular, Burkhart’s, 9PM
Monday, 6/28 Margarita Mondays, LeBuzz, 5PM Texas Hold ‘Em, Woofs, 7:30PM Dragamaki, Nickiemoto’s, 8:30PM Karaoke Idol, Burkhart’s, 9:30PM Service Industry Night, The Heretic, 10PM Drag on the Edge, Blake’s, 11PM Tuesday, 6/29 Bingo, Woofs, 7PM My Big Fat Gay Bingo, Frogs, 7PM Trivia & Wild Card Talent Night, Blake’s, 7PM 2 For 1 Tuesdays, Nonna Mia, 7PM Family Poker Night and Dancing, 3-Legged Cowboy, 7:30PM Mary-oke, Mary’s, 9PM Karaoke: Eagle Style, The Eagle, 10PM Wednesday, 6/30 Texas Hold ‘Em Poker, Bellissima, 7PM Crazy Bitch Bingo, Joe’s, 8PM Honey Pot, Mary’s, 8PM Trivia, Woofs, 8PM Dress Code Party, The Heretic, 10PM
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1. Amsterdam- 502 Amsterdam Avenue 2. Bellissima- 560 Amsterdam Avenue 3. Blake’s On The Park- 227 10th Street NE 4. Brushstroke’s- 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE 5. Bulldog’s- 893 Peachtree St NE 6. Burkhart’s-1492 Piedmont Avenue NE 7. Eagle Atlanta- 308 Ponce De Leon Ave. NE 8. Einstein’s- 1077 Juniper St. NE 9. Felix’s- 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE 10. F.R.O.G.S.- 931 Monroe Dr. 11. Hobnob- 1551 Piedmont Ave. NE 12. Joe’s On Juniper- 1049 Juniper Street NE 13. Mixx- 1492 Piedmont Ave. NE 14. 3 Legged Cowboy- 931 Monroe Drive 15. Outwrite Bookstore- 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE 16. Studio Lounge- 1302 W. Peachtree St. NE
Not Shown On Map: BJ Roosters- 2345 Cheshire Bridge Road Chaparral- 2715 Buford Highway Cowtipper’s- 1600 Piedmont Ave. NE Friends on Ponce- 736 Ponce De Leon Ave. The Heretic- 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd. Jungle- 2115 Faulkner Road Las Margaritas-1842 Cheshire Bridge Road NE LeBuzz- 585 Franklin Road Mary’s- 1287 Glenwood Ave. Model-T- 699 Ponce De Leon Ave. My Sister’s Room- 1271 Glenwood Ave. Opus One- 1086 Alco Street Tripps- 1931 Piedmont Circle Woofs- 2425 Piedmont Ave. NE
FENUXEMAGAZINE
29
ER TOGETHERTOGETHERTOGETHERTOG HER TOGETHERTOGETHERTOGETHERT OGETHERTOGETHERTOGETHERTOGETH ETHERTOGETHERTOGETHERTOGETHER RTOGETHERTOGETHERTOGETHERTOGE PHOTOGRAPHY BY LOUIS M. LINDIC LMLFOTO@YAHOO.COM
A collection of Atlanta’s gay & lesbian committed couples
GETHERTOGETHER TOGETHERTOGETHER HERTOGETHER RTOGETHER ETHER
charles davis III & Louis j. lindic 18 years “You need to love each other through thick and thin. We balance each other out.” - Louis
mark wade & jeff swart 8 years “We saw each other around town three times before we had a real conversation.” - Jeff
Jeff Graham & Peter Stinner 21 years “It's always good to have a place with a dishwasher. It leads to fewer fights.” - Jeff
Rick Diehl & Jorge esteban 21 years â&#x20AC;&#x153;We met in a fire drill at work. I thought he was cute so I made sure to be the last one to go back in so I could talk to him.â&#x20AC;? - Jorge
Louis Gary & Rocky Nixon 27 years “Can you believe we met at Metrocenter Mall in Jackson, Mississippi?” - Louis
robby stiles & todd fuller 13 years “You have to work at it. It’s definitely not something that just runs on cruise control.” - Robby
lynae bryant & danah jenkins 10 years “She’s my best friend. We still stay up until three and four in the morning talking. You’d think we’d run out of things to say but we don’t.” - Lynae
troy ginn & kris perkins 8 years â&#x20AC;&#x153;Opposites attract. We never compete on anything.â&#x20AC;? - Troy
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Across: 4. At Screen on the Green June 17th 7. Author at Outwrite June 17th 9. Site of June 22nd AGLCC luncheon 10. Day of week of 2010 Pride Run
Down: 1. “Ghostly” musical coming to The Fox Theatre June 30th 2. Hotlanta ____ League 3. For the ____ ____ ____ ____ Us 5. June 24th Evening for Equality luncheon location 6. Two ____ Licks 8. Name of Moroccan gay magazine
CONGRATS TO OuR PAST WINNeR MEGAN SHUMAkE!
1 40
Correctly fill out each word on the crossword puzzle above and mail or email the answers to: 1123 Zonolite Rd. Suite 7B Atlanta, GA 30306 info@fenuxe.com FENUXEMAGAZINE
2
Please complete the following 1. Name_____________________________ 2. Address___________________________ 3. Email_____________________________ 4 .Phone ____________________________
AROUND TOWN IMAGES BY LOUIS LINDIC
42
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AROUND TOWN IMAGES BY LOUIS LINDIC FENUXEMAGAZINE
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counseling center Anxiety & Depression
Counseling & Sexuality & GLBT Issues Career Coaching Couples Counseling Adolescents Spirituality Career Transition
BE GOOD TO YOURSELF
www.equalitycounseling.com 15 Lenox Pointe, Suite B Specializing In Counseling Atlanta, GA 30324 the GLBT Community
404.229.6177
Visit us at any of our Midtown Locations 1001 Piedmont Ave. NE Atlanta, GA 30309 (404) 815-0308 1572 Piedmont Ave. NE Atlanta, GA 30324 (404) 685-3520
650 Ponce de Leon Atlanta, GA 30309 (404) 873-5222
Dear Mary, My partner and I have been together for 2 years. We’re ready to tie the knot but the problem is, as I’m sure you’re aware, we cannot legally get married in Georgia. We’re thankful for the progress that’s been made in other states but we grew up here, we met here and we live here. We don’t want to marry in another state and then come back and it not mean anything. I know it won’t be instantaneous, but what can we do here in Georgia to help get gay marriage rights so that we can get married in the state we love? Signed, Passionate for the Peach State If you’ve got a problem for Mary to solve, e-mail her at mary@fenuxe.com. Mary is in no way qualified to give advice to others, and that is why we love her.
Dear Peachy Keen, I’m all for chasing your bliss, and I know for a fact that if my gay best friend got married in Atlanta, it would be the most exquisite wedding you’ve ever seen…and I want to see it. I propose a major letter-writing campaign to the state government. But don’t focus on human rights and equality for all. Don’t worry about convincing anyone of the fact that your relationship is valid and deserves to be recognized and afforded the same rights as any committed, loving, straight relationship. Don’t waste time mentioning the delineations between church and state or pointing out that the straight divorce rate is probably far more damaging to the sanctity of marriage than allowing two grown men to enter into a contract that allows them hospital visitation rights, insurance benefits and tax benefits. Focus on what lawmakers understand and what drives them: gay marriage will make money. Do you know how much gift-giving is involved with weddings these days? I forked out close to a grand in the last few months because a girl I knew in middle school invited me to her wedding, and secretly, I’m not really that fond of her. extrapolate that to involve the entire gay population of Georgia getting married (or a portion of it, anyhow), not to mention people coming in from other states to celebrate their union in the lovely south, and you’ve got yourself a mint. Then, of course, comes the potential divorces. Another cash cow, lining the pockets of lawyers for years to come. Bam! State budget filled to bursting. everyone’s happy.
Love, Mary Makers-McMark
46
P.S. If anyone, particularly a woman, starts quoting bible verses at you on this topic, encourage her to read Deuteronomy 22:13, where it states that if a woman is discovered not to be a virgin on her wedding night, her new husband should have her stoned to death. It might give her a new perspective. FENUXEMAGAZINE
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