Fenuxe Magazine - The Holiday Issue 2011 by Fenuxe Magazine Management

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FENUXE We wish you a very happy holiday!

Thank you for being a part of our family this special season! William Duffee-Braun

EDITOR

Michael Kors Designed Ornament by Christopher Radko available at Bloomingdale’s Lenox Square

Please Note: We will publish our final issue of 2011 on December 29. We will publish our first issue of 2012 on January 26.

Editor-In-Chief

Publisher

William Duffee-Braun

Tyler Calkins

Editorial

Atlanta Marketing

Associate Writer Shannon Jenkins Contributing Writers Kelley Pounders Lucy Dixon Dino Thompson-Sarmiento Sam Peng Debi Lowry

Sales Consultant Jim Balarillo Fenuxe Event Management Kardon Events, 770-935-0065, www.kardonevents.com Public Relations Candace Hunziker

ART

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Graphic Art Director Malcolm Montgomery Fashion Production Mark Cook MadMan Creative Atlanta Fashion Photography and Styling Krisztian Lonyai www.krisztianlonyai.com

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Special Thanks to Michael Moeller, Alison Kwee, Topher Payne, Mitchell Anderson, Tara Murphy, John McGill, Pastor Paul Turner, Rabbi Joshua Lesser, Mary and Palmer Marsh, Brandon Nguyen, Mara Maddox

To advertise, please call 404.835.2016 email info@fenuxe.com or visit www.fenuxe.com Published by TW MEDIA GROUP©2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 1123 Zonolite Road, Suite 7B, Atlanta, GA 30306 Phone: 404.835.2016 | Fax: 404.835.2356 Opinions and claims made by advertisers are those of the advertisers only. Fenuxe accepts no liability for any claims made by advertisers. The views and opinions expressed in this issue are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any agency of TW Media Group, LLC.

Any photographs of persons are the responsibility of the submitter who expressly indemnifies Fenuxe Magazine (henceforth “Fenuxe”) and its affiliates against claims for any unauthorized use thereof. In conjunction with this indemnity, the submitter expressly warrants that use of any photos submitted is fully authorized by the subject and photographer. Fenuxe reserves the right to publish submissions of photographs or other images without providing credit for images. Fenuxe does not guarantee that credit will be provided for any material. The appearance of subjects and contributors in photographs or editorial matter in Fenuxe is not to be construed as indicative of the sexual orientation or personal practices of any individual. No implication with respect thereto is intended, and none should be inferred. Retraction: In V2-23 of Fenuxe Magazine, published on November 17, 2011, we reported the “Bo Mermaid” ornament to be available at Outwrite Bookstore and Coffeehouse in our holiday gift guide. The “Bo Mermaid” ornament is available at www.diamondsofthesea.com.

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ATLANTA’S GAY MAGAZINE

CONTENTS: 12/15/11

FEATURES 14

FASHION

EVENTS

NIGHTLIFE

URBAN CULTURE

X-PLORE

EATS

PERSPECTIVES

SEASONAL SPIRITS

INSIDE LOOK

RENAISSANCE MAN

THE PERFECT HOLIDAY PARTY HOST TIME WELL SPENT THIS HOLIDAY HOLIDAY PARTY FACTS LOCAL HEROES: FINDING TRUE SPIRITUALITY CRUISIN’ WITH NOH8 SWAPPING RECIPES A GAY HOLIDAY AFFAIR TO FORGET HOLIDAY COCKTAIL GUIDE BURKHART’S PUB

KRISZTIAN LONYAI

ESSENTIALS 32 CALENDAR 50 ASK MARY 52 QUIZ 57 ULTRA

Your guide to Gay Atlanta Nightlife, featuring Out Photos, your weekly lineup, horoscopes and the hottest parties and events!

Photo credit Offhand Photography

VISIT US ON THE WEB “LIKE” US ON

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FASHION

words by Shannon Jenkins

The Perfect Holiday Party Host Thereʼs much more to hosting a holiday bash than slapping up tinsel and sloshing around eggnog. If you want to be the ideal host, you must exceed your guestsʼ expectations. To help you wow your party-goers, Fenuxe asked reality TV star and interior designer Michael Moeller to share his thoughts on throwing a spectacular seasonal shindig. Moeller, who co-hosts The Style Network's “Clean House New York” running Mondays at 8 p.m., has more than 10 years of design experience working for New York City's top design firms. He also finished second place on season five of HGTV's “Design Star.” “I think you should be intentional about your design and your decor,” Moeller said. “Don’t buy bulk and throw tons of stuff up because you think it looks festive. Sometimes just a beautiful centerpiece and wreath on the door and your menorah or tree as your focal point in your room is enough. Don’t overcrowd or clutter your place because it winds up looking cheap and junky.” Moeller suggested choosing a color theme or building a theme from an object such as a snowflake or star to carry throughout your space. “I think that always looks the highest end and the most collected and most designed,” he said. But don't think you're done designing once you have your home decorated. “Think about the way you display food, whether you’re hosting a sit-down dinner for eight or you’re just putting out hors d'oeuvres and drinks for 30,” Moeller said. You can display food on beautiful platters, tie bows around bottle necks or freeze pieces of rosemary in ice cubes for the cocktails. “Your dining table is going to be covered in food and plates, so make that look festive,” he said. Moeller's final tip for successful hosting is to simply have fun. “I think the holidays are a time to bring a sense of whimsy to your decor,” he said. “Have a sense of humor about it. Have fun with it. Enjoy it because it’s only a few short weeks out of the year. If you mess it up that much you can take it down after New Year’s anyway.” 14 : DECEMBER 15, 2011

Even though he's a pro, Moeller is still susceptible to the occasional party mishap. He was making his own dulce de leche for a caramel apple dip which required a can of sweetened condensed milk to sit in boiling water for about two hours. Moeller said the apartment was decorated and everything was set out. With two cans of sweetened condensed milk on the stove at a vigorous boil, he decided to shower and dress. “I’m shaving and all of a sudden I hear this horrible, loud pop,” he recalled. “I knew exactly what it was, and I ran into the kitchen and there is caramel everywhere. It’s all over the ceiling, it’s in my light ﬁxtures, it’s in the cabinets, it’s all over the refrigerator, the table. It’s everywhere you can imagine.” All the water boiled out of the pot and one of the cans exploded. There was still one more can intact, and he quickly threw it in the sink where it then exploded. “I had a couple of friends come over early, and we scrubbed caramel out of every crevice of my kitchen before having a party. If you ever decide to make dulce de leche in the future I would just buy the caramel from the grocery store and melt them down in the microwave. It’s much easier.”

For the full interview with Michael Moeller please visit www.fenuxe.com

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EVENTS

Time Well Spent This Holiday We all spend the holidays in our own special ways. Some of us shop until we collapse in the middle of Macyʼs. Some of us argue with relatives about trivial matters. Others flirt shamelessly with the hot Santa at Lenox Mall. Basically, itʼs a time to do whatever floats your boat. For those of you who just canʼt decide how to invest your time, Fenuxe is happy to offer a few suggestions for filling up your festivities calendar.

The Rink at Park Tavern

AIDS Memorial Quilt

Tickets: $15 to skate or $300 for season pass Dates: Monday through Friday from 4:30 p.m. to midnight; Saturdays and Sundays from 10:30 a.m. to midnight. Where: Park Tavern, 500 10th Street Details: Times and availability at www. xorbia.com/therink Other info at www. parktavern.com/about/the-rink

Admission: Ranges from $5 to $10 Dates: 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday; 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. on Thursday; and noon to 5 p.m. on Sunday. Where: Museum of Design Atlanta, 1315 Peachtree Street Details: www.museumofdesign.org

For those who desire an activity to get the blood pumping, we recommend an evening at The Rink at Park Tavern for ice skating. Many amenities abound for day and night skating, including a heated tent, state-of-the-art sound system and rink-side dining. Private and group lessons with a professional coach are also available.

A poignant experience can be found at the Museum of Design Atlanta with the AIDS Memorial Quilt. On display through January 1, the quilt is the largest ongoing community arts project in the world. Visitors to MODA can also view the exhibit Graphic Interventions: 25 Years of International AIDS Posters.

“Odysseo” Tickets: Beginning at $69.50 Dates: Show times and dates vary through January 8 Where: 860 Williams Street Details: www.cavalia.net

16 : DECEMBER 15, 2011

If you crave fantasy this holiday season, we suggest visiting the White Big Top recently erected in Midtown. The massive tent houses Cavalia’s “Odysseo,” an equestrian adventure celebrating the ancient relationship between horses and humans. A Horse Lovers Package allows patrons to tour the Cavalia stables after the show.

NIGHTLIFE

Holiday party facts

White

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Elephant

Gift

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Thieving secret santa

Yankee Swap

Exchange

Pollyanna

aka:

Eggnog

Due to their high cost and lack of refrigeration, dairy products and eggs were rarely consumed by the lower classes, therefore originally this tasty beverage was popular in Britain mainly among the aristocracy.

Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead? -Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold in “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation”

I have had a holiday, and I'd like to take it up professionally. -Kylie Minogue

Every time you kiss beneath mistletoe you must remove a berry. Once all the berries are gone it becomes bad luck to kiss beneath the sprig.

2001

The rumored year the Ugly Sweater Party trend began, which orginated in Vancouver, Canada.

Alcoholiday: A day void of sobriety due to festivities, boredom or family interaction.

Cities with Holiday Names: North Pole, Alaska Santa Claus, Indiana Santa Claus, Georgia Noel, Missouri Rudolph, Wisconsin Dasher, Georgia Snowflake, Arizona Holly Springs, Mississippi Mount Holly, North Carolina

“

Grooch:

President Franklin Pierce The first President to decorate the White House Christmas tree.

A Grinch-like person who mooches at various parties without contributing gifts or food.

Electric lights for trees were ﬁrst used in 1895

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked me for my autograph.

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URBAN CULTURE

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LOCAL HEROES:

Finding True Spirituality I came to a realization watching the Sunday Pride Parade this last October. There were many churches marching with their congregations showing support for the LGBT Community. Clergy preach acceptance, inclusion and tolerance. I wanted to focus on active members of the religious community who are LGBT. Finding two candidates for my interview was easy. I thought there might be extreme differences in the two amazing spiritual leaders, but beyond their backgrounds and their journeys that brought them to their calling there were some extreme similarities. As an ex-Catholic I am very skeptical about religion. I have found many contradictions in the word being preached and the path being followed by members of the “Christian” majority. In Reverend Paul Turner and Rabbi Joshua Lesser I found both the understanding and the characteristics I would look for in a spiritual guide.

Pastor Paul Turner Paul Turner is the pastor of Gentle Spirit Church of Atlanta. Known better as the church without walls (it does have an office), Paul and his church care for a very diverse congregation, not just based on sexual orientation, but ethnic and economic diversity as well. As a former United Methodist minister, Paul finds conventional ministry not quite in his personality. He is outspoken when moved to be. He is soft spoken when he feels the gentle touch is needed. He is dedicated and passionate about the fight for human rights. He has found inspiration in the teachings and life of Martin Luther King. He believes the acts of salvation and redemption are between each individual and their God. Paul and his ministry are there to assist in clearing the obstacles that appear to distract us. To those who tend to shy away from the confines of a conventional church you might find comfort in the fact that Sunday worship for the Gentle Spirit Church takes place in Candler Park Pavilion. For more information, visit www.gentlespirit.org. Joshua Lesser is the leader of Bet Haverim. Joshua found his calling while being involved in the feminist movement and fights related to social issues. His journey taught him 20 : DECEMBER 15, 2011

Rabbi Joshua Lesser spiritual compassion and understanding for his fellow man, as well as additional insight into his Jewish faith. Joshua and a number of the LGBT Jewish community established Bet Haverim as a place of worship and education and as a safe, accepting environment to practice their faith. But, like Gentle Spirit, Bet Haverim has attracted a widely diverse congregation. Joshua is a humanitarian, an educator and a spiritual leader. He has a strong conviction in the ﬁght for human rights and believes everyone should have a safe community to live and prosper. He grew up as a member of the Atlanta Jewish community, and though his mother had a difﬁcult time accepting his sexual orientation, she has come to terms and now is a member of his congregation. His community, like Joshua, is about the development and changing traditions that surround their faith. For more information, visit www.congregationbethaverim.org

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reﬂect the views of Fenuxe Magazine.

X-PLORE

Cruisin’ With NOH8 Once the holidays have passed most of us will start longing for warmer weather. Thoughts of summer-time strolls and shirtless joggers will seem like a distant memory. But for some of us, now is the perfect time to start planning that cruise. Fenuxe scoured the seas for a sweet deal, and we found one of particular interest. The inaugural NOH8 Cruise, organized by David Morris International and MHM Destinations, will set sail to Tahiti June 16-23, 2012. The luxury cruise ship Paul Gauguin will offer passengers the opportunity to experience paradise alongside the founders of the NOH8 Campaign, Adam Bouska and Jeff Parshley. Television and ﬁlm star Charlie David, the host of MTV’S BUMP TV on LOGO, will serve as emcee and host of the weeklong cruise. Paul Gaugin will visit the islands of Raiatea, Bora Bora, Taha’a, Moorea and Tahiti. Guests can expect exclusive parties, a late night pool party hosted by the NOH8 founders, an invitation to the Charlie David Bloody Mary party, an exclusive group dinner, pillow gifts, Martini Monday & Sail Away parties, a no-host Beach Party, an open bar and a personal NOH8 photo shoot on board. The NOH8 package, which beneﬁts the NOH8 Campaign, also includes roundtrip airfare from Los Angeles to Papeete, Tahiti. “We are excited about this partnership,” said NOH8 founder and photographer Adam Bouska. “In the true spirit of the campaign, the cruise is open not just to the gay community, but to friends, family and others seeking to make a difference.”

22 : DECEMBER 15, 2011

The NOH8 Campaign began in response to the passage of Proposition 8 in California on November 4, 2008. The photographic silent protest has grown signiﬁcantly to about 13,000 faces since its inception and has gained support from around the world. The campaign uses its proceeds to promote and raise awareness of marriage equality and anti-discrimination.

Information on the itinerary and booking can be found at www.noh8cruise.com.

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EATS

Swapping Recipes

Stumped for a delicious dish to bring to a holiday party? Donʼt fret. A few locals who know their way around a kitchen have kindly shared some of their favorite recipes that should have your loved ones smacking their lips and begging for seconds. MetroFresh owner Mitchell Anderson said his shepherd’s pie is the perfect comfort food. “It’s not very ‘MetroFreshual’ but a really good hot casserole on a cold winter day,” he said. “You can eat on your lap in front of the fire.”

MITCHELL’S SHEPHERD’S PIE Ingredients 1-1 ½ lbs. Ground Beef (or Ground Turkey) 1 Large Yellow Onion – Diced 2 Shallots - Diced 2 Tbs Olive Oil 2 Tbs Worcestershire Sauce ½ Cup Red Wine ½ teaspoon Ground Allspice (optional) ½ teaspoon Ground Clove (optional) Sprigs of Thyme and Rosemary 2 Cups Frozen Corn 2 Cups Frozen Peas 3-4 Lbs. Yukon Gold Potatoes or Sweet Potatoes – cut in large pieces for mashing later 1 Quart Chicken Broth 1-2 cups milk Butter Salt and Pepper

Directions Use chicken broth and a little water to cover potatoes in a pot and bring to boil. Cook until they easily break apart with a fork. Pour olive oil in a large skillet. Heat oil until just smoking and add shallot and onion. Sauté onions and shallots on medium heat for 4 or 5 minutes until transparent but NOT brown. Add ground beef or ground turkey and brown through. Add Worcestershire sauce and wine and continue to sauté on low heat. Sauté meat until most of fat has been evaporated but remains moist. Put meat mixture in oblong Pyrex casserole9x13 should be good. Cover in layers with corn and peas. When potatoes are cooked through drain in colander and pour back into pot. Whisk in butter, salt, pepper and milk. Add milk gradually as you whisk or mash the potatoes. You want a soft mash. Spread potatoes over the corn and peas evenly making sure they go all the way to 24 : DECEMBER 15, 2011

the sides of the dish--you will want to “seal” so the mixture underneath steams just a bit. Bake in a 350 oven for 25-30 minutes until golden brown on top. Playwright and actor Topher Payne offered up his crab puffs, a recipe from his mother in Mississippi. “It was her standard contribution to holiday gatherings, baby showers, Tupperware parties--any place that required a fancy appetizer,” he said. “Any time I take it to a party I come home with an empty plate.”

TOPHER’S CRAB PUFFS Ingredients 1 small jar Kraft Old English cheese 1 can of crab meat 1 ½ tbsp. mayo Dash of garlic salt 1 stick margarine, softened ½ tsp seasoned salt or Tony’s Creole Seasoning (if you like it spicy) Directions Combine all ingredients, spread onto sliced English muffins, then cut into quarters. Place on cookie sheet and bake 15 minutes at 350. Substitutions abound in this recipe: You can use imitation crab meat. You really shouldn’t, but you can. Lobster meat also works. You can use butter instead of margarine to class it up a bit. The Old English cheese spread is basically Velveeta for snobs, and you can replace that with 8 ounces of fancy soft cheese. I’ve tried that, but I find that the snobby Velveeta works best. However, don’t substitute the bread. English muffins are the only surface that can sustain this much fat without collapsing.

See a recipe from the Highland Bakeryʼs Stacey Eames at www.fenuxe.com.

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PERSPECTIVES

words by Sam Peng

A Gay Holiday Affair to Forget Jonathan, with a boyfriend of four years, called his mom and told her heʼd be home for Christmas. His mom, who had not seen Johnny in years, was ecstatic and near tears. Overwhelmed with joy, she practically sang over the phone as she asked her son a question, “Will you bring your girlfriend home with you as well?” He remained silent thereafter. For many people in the gay community, being who you are and out to your family is a leisure that’s sometimes taken for granted. But for others like Jonathan, even during the post Will & Grace, Brokeback Mountain era, coming out of the closet to your immediate family has always been forbidden ground. Many times, despite dealing with the ﬁnancial burden, lack of time off from work, or perhaps an unfortunate family feud, being able to bring a boyfriend or girlfriend back home to see your family tops the Christmas wish list of many homosexuals because that’s simply what is wanted: for your family to accept your way of life.

As difﬁcult as it seems, there is still some dim light down the tunnel of one’s quest to be out and proud. I am a ﬁrm believer of the “parents know it all” saying. Growing up, on some level, parents have a certain idea of their children’s sexuality. You can use that to your advantage. However, for those parents who have no clue about their gay children, the word “shock” can only describe how they’d feel if their kids came out to them. Thus, those gay children choose to take other actions that’d further bury them deeper inside their hidden identity, much like what Jonathan was about to do for his holiday plans.

True, there are countless inspirational success stories of many gay ole fashioned coming out accounts over the holidays. But, behind the facade of every media manipulation and feel-good story there are a dozen other closet cases when coming out is simply out of the question based on family values of cultures, beliefs or ideologies. Family dreams shattered, hopes lost and trust destroyed are usually the repercussions of many untold coming out tales. Sadly, even today, it is still the reality of what our gay community deals with, especially our gay youth culture who combats with horror stories of being thrown out and disowned by the family.

Jonathan bid goodbye to his mom and dialed another number. After connecting, in a low, unassuming voice, he said, “Elizabeth, I have a favor to ask you.” Like a retrieving lightening hiding in the dark clouds, Johnny went right back into the closet as quickly as he was out.

28 : DECEMBER 15, 2011

Comments email: pengperspective@yahoo. com The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reﬂect the views of Fenuxe Magazine.

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CALENDAR : 12/15 - 12/28 THURSDAY, DECEMBER 15

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 17

Garden Lights: Atlanta Botanical Garden 5PM 3 Legged Cowboy Line Dance Lesson: Heretic 8PM Atlanta Ballet’s Nutcracker: Fox Theatre 7:30PM

Christmas on Peachtree: 200 Peachtree Street 10AM A Very Merry Holiday Pops: Atlanta Symphony Hall 8PM First Cut: Relapse Comedy Theatre 8PM Improv A**Hole: Village Theatre 8:30PM IMPROV! The Musical: Relapse Comedy Theatre 9PM “The Shining”: Plaza Theatre 9:30PM Mistle-Blow: Mary’s Atlanta 9:30PM Madonnarama the Santa Baby Edition: Jungle Club Atlanta 10PM Bedlam Presents How the Betch Stole Christmas: IHOG 10PM Madonna-Rama Santa Baby Edition With DJ Ed Bailey: Jungle Club 10PM Astronaut University Improv Show: Relapse Comedy Theatre 10:30PM

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 16 Libby’s at the Express: Actor’s Express 7:30PM Automatic Improv’s Holiday Spectacular Experience Extravaganza: Relapse Comedy Theatre 8PM David Benoit’s “A Charlie Brown Christmas”: Ferst Center at GA Tech 8PM Zombie Santa Walk: Diesel Filling Station 8PM In Theaters “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows”: Citywide In Theaters “Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol”: Citywide In Theaters “Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked”: Citywide

32 : DECEMBER 15, 2011

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 18 Sex and The Second City (Closing night): Alliance Theatre’s Hertz Stage 7:30PM

CALENDAR : 12/15 - 12/28 Synchronicity Theatre’s “Feet First in the Water With a Baby in My Teeth” (Closing night): Balzer Theater at Herren’s 8PM

MONDAY, DECEMBER 19 12 Days of Christmas-Amy Grant & Vince Gill: Fox Theatre 7:30PM “Invasion: Christmas Carol”: Dad’s Garage 8PM 4th Annual Winter White Party: Georgian Terrace Hotel 8PM

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 20 AGLCC Luncheon: Hudson Grille, Brookhaven, 11:50AM Santaland Diaries: Horizon Theatre 8PM

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FRIDAY, DECEMBER 23 2 Girls 3 Eyes Improv Show: Relapse Comedy Theatre 10:30PM In Theaters “We Bought a Zoo”: Citywide Kabbalat Hanukkah Shabbat: Congregation Bet Haverim 6:30PM

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SEASONAL SPIRITS

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INSIDE LOOK

words by Dino Thompson-Sarmiento

More than two decades later and Burkhartʼs is still proving to be one of Atlantaʼs LGBT powerhouses. I sat down with owners Palmer & Mary and chatted about their long history in the Atlanta LGBT scene & the buzz surrounding their kitchen. Dino: Palmer, how long have you been in business? Palmer: 22 years as of November 01, 2011. We opened in 1989. Dino: Have you always served food? Palmer: Since the beginning, we use to have a successful buffet on Fridays. Dino: What are some of your personal favorites on the menu? Palmer: The Ribeye Steak is only $7.75 and it comes with a vegetable and choice of french fries, taters, mashed potatoes with gravy or baked potato while they last. Another fantastic choice for dinner is the seafood. I highly suggest the Seafood platter; it has shrimp, scallops, and ﬁllet of grouper served sautéed, fried or broiled and it is only $11.75. Dino: The prices on your menu are amazing! How do you do it? Palmer: It is important for us to provide our clients an affordable and delicious meal. Our kitchen breaks even at best but we don’t cut corners. Our beef is never frozen; we go to the market several times a week to buy fresh, high quality ingredients and we prepare our fried food using trans-fat-free canola oil. We have been serving the LGBT community for many years and they know though our kitchen is small we are waiting with a delicious meal and welcoming atmosphere. Dino: What are your hours for food service? Palmer: Monday through Thursday 4:30 pm – midnight. Friday, Saturday and Sunday 2:00 pm – 10:00 pm. We need to stop at 10pm because the staff can’t get through the crowd. Dino: Do you offer specials?

44 : DECEMBER 15, 2011

Palmer: Definitely! We design the specials so that folks have the opportunity to taste something different. As an example, currently we have a sautéed grouper topped with crab meat on a bed of asparagus served with a salad for only $9.75. You can’t beat that! Dino: Palmer & Mary, what is your secret to keeping so many loyal clients? Palmer: We nurture a culture of politeness and consideration – We encourage everyone to be themselves and come hang with their friends. We also think the set up attracts people. We have a great patio, the pool room and a variety of bar areas upstairs and downstairs. There is something for everyone. We also have live entertainment on various nights. I did have dinner and took Palmer’s advice on the Seafood Platter. It was delicious and filling and I still can’t believe the prices. The bartender/server couldn’t have been sweeter; the large flat screen TV was on a game show and everyone in the room was playing along. It was like being in your own living room with a bunch of friends except I didn’t have to do the dishes!

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Dear Mary,

askMARY Dear Bafﬂed,

While attending a party at the house of my best friend and his partner I happened upon my BFF in the midst of a heavy make-out session with some skanky man hoe. My friend and his partner are very much in love and have completely committed themselves to one another. They have been together for four years, had a wedding and purchased a house together. I know for a fact they don’t have an open relationship. I suspect this recent rendezvous may lead to another tryst, and I fear my friend may lose everything. I love my best friend dearly, but I can’t ignore his behavior. Should I risk our friendship with a confrontation? Keeping my mouth shut isn’t an option.

Is there any chance of 90’s-era soap opera amnesia rendering him incapable of remembering the love of his life? Could it be a case of mistaken identity? Maybe your friend has a promiscuous twin, a coat-closet nookie-loving evil twin (I don’t know why but I assume this happened in the coat room, possibly because I’m cold as I sit here mulling over your plight and I wish I had a coat). Maybe? No?

Sincerely,

Not everyone has the kind of super-close relationships with their friends I have, but I know if I have a serious issue with someone close to me, I am comfortable enough to passive aggressively and indirectly skirt around most topics without coming out and saying what’s bothering me, resulting in exchanges where we both walk away unsure of what happened. Like, in your situation, it would probably go like this:

Baffled by BFF

Well, ew, what a crap situation. I’m glad your angle is “I’m concerned about what he’s throwing away.” It seems like sometimes we let our friends’ indiscretions go because we don’t want to be judgey, when the thing is, really, these decisions are going to hurt them in the end.

Me: “So, I was thinking, you know, about boyfriends. And coats. And how a good boyfriend is like an awesome coat, and you know…you love that coat, right? Even if it gets kind of old and you’ve been wearing it so long and maybe lately you have to work really hard to think it’s sexy, but you just bought that awesome coat rack for your coat, and even though you might see a new coat that gets you really hot that you think would look better on the coat rack you shouldn’t, like, stop wearing the old one…so…I guess what I’m saying is, don’t throw away coats because there are plenty of homeless people who might want them. You know what I mean.” (Pointed look) Friend: “???” Oh, he might act confused, but he knows. Problem: solved.

50 : DECEMBER 15, 2011

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1. When the check arrives after dinner, does he: A. Immediately grab the bill and tell you you’re worth every penny? B. Ask the waiter to split the bill down the middle? C. Flash you an expectant smile that says “You’ve got this, right?”

A. Grabs the car keys and insists upon driving because he’s better with a stick shift. B. Asks if you’d rather pound the pedal or sit back and relax. C. Is already strapped in the passenger’s side with his feet propped up on the dashboard.

3. His workout routine mainly consists of: A. Thrusts. B. Crunches. C. Squats.

4. A champagne toast is in order, so he: A. Pops the cork like a pro and fills your glass up without spilling a drop. B. Insists you take turns working the cork. C. Awaits eagerly with his glass in hand and suggests you plug up the bottle when you’re done pouring.

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Find Out if He is a Giver or a Receiver:

A. Browses the buns while you decide whether to fill them with hot dogs or sausages. B. Buys ingredients for s’mores so you can make them together. C. Makes a beeline for the produce aisle because he’s been craving cucumber salad.

1-9 points: He enjoys the gift of giving, so be prepared to let him take the reins. 10-20 points: He’s versatile when it comes to wrapping and unwrapping presents. There’s nothing wrong with sharing the duties! 21-25 points: Be prepared to give, give, give. He’s wide open to being lavished with gifts and affection.

2. It’s time to drive across town for the party of the year and he:

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Saint Mark United Methodist Church Holiday Schedule 2011 Sunday, December 11th: Worship at 9:00 AM and 11:15 AM Sunday, December 18th: Worship at 9:00 AM and 11:15 AM *Featuring the Chancel Choir - A Spotless Rose: Songs of Advent and Christmas

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MAP 60: THE WEEKLY LINEUP 62: PARTIES//EVENTS +PLUS: 58: 64: HEY GIRL HEY 65: HOROSCOPE 66, 67, 68, 69, 70: OUT FENUXE.COM : 57

GAY ATLANTA MAP

Opus One

1086 Alco St.

MAPKEY

Sports

Live Entertainment

Leather

Food

Non-Smoking

Pool Tables

Retailer

Jungle

2115 Faulkner Rd.

BR ID G

Woofs

2425 Piedmont Ave.

IR E

1600 Piedmont Ave.

Las Margaritas

1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd.

Mary’s

1287 Glenwood Ave.

Brushstrokes

1510 Piedmont Ave.

Felix’s

The Cockpit

1510 Piedmont Ave.

465 Boulevard

Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr.

1492 Piedmont Ave.

Oscar’s

My Sister’s Room LeBuzz 1271 Glenwood Ave.

Mixx

PIEDMONT AVE.

2715 Buford Higway

2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd.

Cowtippers The Hideaway

1544 Piedmont Rd.

Chaparral

The Heretic

ES H

Not Shown:

Poster Hut

2175 Cheshire Bridge Rd.

N W

BJ Roosters

2345 Chesire Bridge Rd.

Club/Dancing

Hobnob

1551 Piedmont Ave.

Boy Next Door

1447 Piedmont Ave NE

Bellissima

560 Amsterdam Ave.

1510 Piedmont Ave.

Burkharts

585 Franklin Road

1510 Piedmont Ave. AMSTERDAM AVE.

14TH ST.

Amsterdam

302 Amsterdam Ave. 12TH ST.

Einstein’s

F.R.O.G.S.

1077 Juniper St.

931 Monroe Dr. 10TH ST.

1049 Juniper St.

TWELVE Boutique

Outwrite Bookstore 1510 Piedmont Ave.

PIEDMONT AVE.

JUNIPER ST.

PEACHTREE ST.

WEST PEACHTREE ST.

I-75 I-85

SPRING ST.

1000 Piedmont Ave. Ste. D

Bulldogs

Blake’s

227 10th St.

MONROE DR.

Joe’s On Juniper

Friends On Ponce

893 Peachtee St.

736 Ponce de Leon Ave.

PONCE DE LEON AVE.

Atlanta Eagle

308 Ponce de Leon Ave. NORTH AVE.

Model-T

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58 : DECEMBER 15, 2011

MONDAY Woofs – Texas Hold’em Poker – 7:30PM Mixx – Pianist David Reeb – 8PM Las Margaritas – Dragamundo – 8:30PM Jungle – Stars of the Century – 11PM Blake’s – Drag on the Edge – 11PM

TUESDAY

The latest and hottest events going on every week in gay Atlanta. For location information and a full list of venues, check out the Gay Atlanta Map

Swinging Richards – No Cover Tuesdays – 6:30PM Oscar’s – Show Tune Tuesdays - 8PM Mary’s – Mary-oke – 9PM Amsterdam – Evolve – 9PM Chaparral – Hip Hop Talent Show – 11PM – 4AM Burkhart’s – Karaoke – 11:30PM

WEDNESDAY FROGS – Trivia – 7:30PM Joe’s on Juniper – Crazy Bitch Bingo – 8PM Model T – Karaoke Singalong – 9:30PM Mary’s – The Honey Pot – 9PM Blake’s – Feathers & Flesh – 11PM

THURSDAY Las Margaritas – Crazy Bitch Bingo – 7:30PM Joe’s on Juniper – Trivia – 8PM Heretic – Three Legged Cowboy - 8PM Gilbert’s – Etcetera – 10PM Felix’s – Karaoke – 10PM

FRIDAY Woofs - Cocktail Night - 5PM Jungle - The Wild Mustang - 7PM Mixx – WTF Fridays – 10PM Chaparral – Got Leche Latin Fridays – 11PM – 4AM Blake’s – Kitty LeClaw’s Meow Mix – 11PM

SATURDAY

Mary’s – Hot Mess – 9PM Blake’s – Jealouse’s Daring Divas – 11PM Chaparral – Tribal House – Nicole Paige Brooks – 11PM Jungle - Special Guest DJ’s Dance Party – 11PM Burkhart’s – P.O.P. – 11:30PM

Ultra

60 : DECEMBER 15, 2011

SUNDAY

Blake’s – Jazz Brunch– 12PM The Hideaway – Bloody Mary Bar – 12:30PM Gilbert’s – Karaoke – 6:30PM Burkhart’s – The Armorettes – 7PM Chaparral – Hip Hop with DJ truz – 11PM – 4AM

Ultra:

PARTIES // EVENTS

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 15

ATLANTA BALLET’S NUTCRACKER FOX THEATRE, 7:30PM

Men in tights and elegant ballerinas take center stage for this holiday classic through Christmas Eve.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 16

LIBBY’S AT THE EXPRESS ACTOR'S EXPRESS, 7:30PM

Songbird Libby Whittemore presents her holiday show through December 23 at one of Atlanta’s most gay friendly theaters.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 16

AUTOMATIC IMPROV’S HOLIDAY SPECTACULAR EXPERIENCE EXTRAVAGANZA RELAPSE COMEDY THEATRE, 8PM

Get your jolly on with hilarious holiday sketches and improvisation.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 16

ZOMBIE SANTA WALK

DIESEL FILLING STATION, 970 NORTH HIGHLAND, 8PM

Come dressed as a zombie Santa, elf, reindeer or one of St. Nick’s many other undead helpers and bring canned goods for the Atlanta Community Food Bank.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 17

MISTLE-BLOW!

MARY'S ATLANTA, 9:30PM

Join DJ Vicki Powell underneath the mistletoe for one last blowout party before the holidays. Get your picture with Santa and enjoy festive snacks and cocktails.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 17

MADONNA-RAMA SANTA BABY EDITION JUNGLE CLUB, ATLANTA 10PM

DJ Ed Bailey pays homage to the Material Girl with a festive musical tribute.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 24

NAUGHTY & NICE JUNGLE CLUB, ATLANTA 10PM

Celebrate the holidays while dancing to the tunes of DJ Karlitos.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 27

“BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER”

BALZER THEATRE AT HERREN’S, 1 AND 4PM

Synchronicity Theatre offers a holiday tale that will make you laugh, cry and cringe with performances through January 1.

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HEy Girl HEy What makes a successful party? Girl, you know it’s all about the people. And as a frequent party cras... goer, I’d like to share some ideas on how to be the perfect party guest. 1. Be the first to show up and the last to leave. People really appreciate you showing up half an hour early so you can watch them finish their last-minute touches. Also, if you’re the last one to leave, then they will know how much you really love them. You can’t just say, “I love you;” You have to show it. Don’t make the mistake of offering to help clean up—it really offends people. They want to do it themselves. They know where everything goes. 2. Bring a hostess gift. These people have worked really hard putting on this party and you must show your appreciation. No expense spared! I recommend a nice bottle of Blue Nun, Two Buck Chuck or an apple. If you want to bake something, nothing impresses like a cheese and mayonnaise sandwich. It’s the thought that counts! 3. Dress appropriately. You don’t want your host to feel like you’re all snooty and high palootin, er um highfalutin. Camouflage is casual yet you don’t stand out. Plus it goes with everything!

4. Plant yourself near the bar! Your host has worked hard to provide an assortment of nice drinks so show them your appreciation by trying them all—beer, wine and liquor. They’ll never tell you how much they appreciate it but you’ll know next time they give you that look. 5. Double dip. It helps keep the mood casual. Show your host you feel comfortable. Remember, it’s just friends together. Your host won’t say anything but they’ll appreciate you setting that tone. If your cracker breaks in the dip, leave it. It makes it look more “earthy.” By the end of the night, it will look like a sculpture. 6. Keep the conversation interesting. Again, these are your friends. They want to know how you really feel about their religious and political beliefs. What better time than a holiday party? Remember, you only have a short period of time with each guest so make sure you hammer your point home. If you’ve been drinking (which I highly recommend) speaking louder really helps get your point across. Following these tips will guarantee your party host won’t forget you. Hollerrrrr! Love and lashes,

Mary Edith Pitts Please send your questions or comments to maryedith99@gmail.com

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Ultra SAGITTARIUS

HOROSCOPES : December 15 - December 28 ARIES

November 23 to December 21 March 21 to April 19

Go ahead and stock up the bar. It’s Love is often described as the time of year for experimenting intangible. But when you curl up in front of the fire, don’t hesitate to with spirits. find it with both hands.

CAPRICORN December 22 to January 19

AQUARIUS

This is the time of year to let go of the power button. Other folks will revel in feeling in charge for a change. Think of it as a gift.

TAURUS April 20 to May 20

It’s not too late for cyber- Get in the kitchen and help out shopping, if you don’t mind with those holiday meals. You may find you have skills you didn’t elegantly wrapping an IOU. know you had. And others will appreciate the effort.

January 20 to February 18

LEO July 23 to August 22

GEMINI

Tinsel tinsel tinsel. You know what May 21 to June 20 Double up on those generic gifts to do. for people who surprise you with an unexpected gift. Your friends are feeling generous.

VIRGO August 23 to September 22 Stop trying so hard with the paper, tape and bows. Let go of your wrapping frustration and invest in gift bags.

LIBRA September 23 to October 22 Holiday dinner is time for family and friends who are your family. Make it pot luck and everyone’s the host.

PISCES February 19 to March 20 A computer has its place in the holidays. And it is on your lap as you reconnect with loved ones near and far. How’s that iPad working for you?

CANCER June 21 to July 22 Don’t let sniffles slow you down. Take lots of vitamin C. And by “vitamin C” I mean orange juice and vodka. It kills the germs.

SCORPIO October 23 to November 22 Take a break from the hustle and bustle of the shopping season and go outside tonight to gaze at the heavens.

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TOY PARTY December 4 Americas Mart 3 Thousands of Atlantans turned out in their holiday finest for one of the biggest bashes of the year to benefit 23 local charities. Mounds of donated toys took center place as party-goers mingled, cocktails flowed and spirits soared.

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THE BUTTER BALL November 23 Club Life DJ Manny Lehman served up high-octane tunes and models strutted the runway for a 2(x)ist fashion show.

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MIRFFEE’S DEN GRAND OPENING November 23 Mirffee’s Den A hungry crowd filled the Midtown restaurant and piano bar to celebrate, eat, drink and mingle.

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ARTVISION December 1 Phillip Rush Center Art enthusiasts gathered to view and purchase photographs and paintings to benefit Positive Impact.

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