Much like waves in the sea and tides in the ocean, concepts such as love and gender are ever-changing, continuously shifting through one lifetime. Born after a universe that is still expanding and developing, humans are also creatures of change–continuously evolving in hopes of reaching their ultimate selves. For centuries, cisgenderism and heterosexuality were ingrained in the fiber of every human society. Kings are meant for queens, presidents are meant for first ladies, husbands are meant for wives, and boyfriends are meant for girlfriends. Anyone who deviated from the norm was tagged as an outlaw or a misfit, shunned from the community until they repent. Until recently, it was not safe for queer couples to hold hands in the street or make families of their own. Even now, those who continue to defy society’s standards live in perpetual fear of being mocked and denied their basic human rights. Like many who came before him, Xyrome Namiza’s journey through accepting his gender expression and sexuality was full of bumps along the road. Now on his Fourth Year of Interdisciplinary Studies, Namiza spent a great deal of his life wondering why he did not want to act like many of the boys his age. “Growing up, people always call me malamya (frail) because I was a taong-bahay (homebody) as my parents don’t allow me to play outside. When I was in high school, I was exposed to lots
... of teenage boys who fit the standards of how guys should act,” Namiza shared in an interview. According to him, he questioned his identity because he did not fit in any of the boxes society has laid out for him and his peers. His deviation to what he assumed was “normal” started his descent into questioning his sexuality as well. Having a girlfriend in senior high school seemed ordinary–until he caught himself also liking a guy. So, Namiza did what every Gen Z child would have done given the situation: he turned to the internet. What he saw made him realize concepts that were not taught in the four corners of the classroom, he was introduced to the notion of SOGIE (Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, and Expression) and he was able to reconstruct the black and white image of what sexuality is in his mind. However, the road to self-actualization is not an easy one, and it is more difficult to unlearn years of homophobic education and beliefs that were instilled in him. Along with wrapping his head around new ideas was learning to let go of the old ones that were holding him back.
“My main struggle, of course, is fully accepting who I am… I dealt with it by educating myself and surrounding myself with people who are either members of the LGBTQIA+ community or an ally,” he said. Namiza is definitely not the first person to struggle through embracing his true self, and his experience is not among the worst, but he can be one of the last ones to experience this internal battle. When society stops making pre-made boxes and shoving every newborn baby in them is the time little boys like Namiza stop questioning whether they are “manly” enough from such a young age. As his call to everyone who experienced or currently experiences the same thing, Namiza said, “There is nothing wrong with you. Take your time. Remember that you can take as much time as you need in order to fully accept yourself and eventually go out of the closet. There will be lots of pressure, and you’ll encounter people who will try to out you and take that opportunity away from you, but always remember that it is always your decision to make. You don’t owe anyone an explanation about who you are. Celebrate yourself and the best is yet to be.”
Love at First Swipe: Stories of Online Dating There are many ways to find love and your significant other. Whether you meet them while you are out for a coffee run or studying in the library, or even meet them when you were young. With the advancement of technology, you can now meet your potential partner online.
Through applications such as Tinder, Bumble, LitMatch, and more, finding love is made easier with just a swipe. With the help of social media, we are more connected, and even so, find love that could sprout with just one message.
Love found through the screens It was the 13th of November 2020 when “Tonyo”, a second-year IABF student was drunk and “fooling around” and decided to chat “Marites”, his classmate. “For the sake ng pagpapapansin… para lang makapagpapansin doon sa taong ‘yon. So after that, nagtuloy-tuloy na until umabot dito (I did it for the sake of being noticed so that we would just have interactions with that person. After that, the encounter continued until we reached this point),” he reasoned. For Marites and Tonyo, falling in love was all unprecedented. “Hindi ko ine-expect na magkakajowa ako.
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Truly, it is due time for society to accept that humans are designed to change–just like the world we live in, just like the stars in the sky and the waves of the ocean. Things like love and gender are two of the things that make people happiest and most seen, which is why people like Namiza should be allowed to exist and flourish without fear. Sometimes, boyfriends are for girlfriends, and sometimes, boyfriends are for boyfriends as well.
Illustrated by Shiena Sanchez
By Jemina Eunice G. De Leon & Yuichi P. Desquitado
I swear kasi ayoko din talaga (I did interview, they were in the middle of not expect that I will have a partner. I a fight and Marites was on the verge swear because I really do not want it of ending their relationship. in the first place),” she explained. There were many times when At one point in March 2021, Tonyo and Marites thought it was Marites wished to cut their budding time to end things. Tonyo thinks his relationship short due to her worst experience was during their perceived impossibility of them “talking stage” when the realization meeting at all, but Marites was not struck him that Marites is still talking prepared with what Tonyo is about to to other guys. “It broke me into draw, a reverse card. He invited pieces,” he said. Marites to meet for the first time at Marites mentioned that she the Enchanted Kingdom and did not expect to have their feelings evolve wanted to end what was still blossoming for the both of them. from there. “Sarili ko na talaga yung problema. “Noong una ko siyang na-meet, … Sabi ko, ‘huwag na nating ituloy ito everything fell into place (The first kasi masasaktan ka lang sa’kin’ (The time I met her, … everything fell into problem is with myself. I told him, ‘we place),” Tonyo fondlingly shared. He should stop this or you will get hurt’),” puts himself to be very lucky of she tells. But it was Tonyo’s steady will meeting Marites because out of all to pursue her that persevered in the the odds, zero to trillion according to end. Tonyo, a “boy from Batangas'' got the chance to meet a “girl from Pasig”, The Lovers’ Advice: from one to and the only thing that connected another them is that they are both from Far Tonyo emphasized that before Eastern University (FEU) taking the divinginto the world of online dating, same classes. especially when pursuing someone, you have to know for yourself and be Mishaps in online dating sure that your feelings are true. As for Relationships are not always someone who despises LDRs like perfect. Tonyo and Marites went Marites, she confessed that despite through many obstacles but their the dislike, you are doomed when the love for each other remained heart takes over the mind. She wishes unwavering. That night prior to the and advises the people who will be
their partners as this can help clear the clouded thoughts. This gives them something to hold on to as they fight for their love. “Love is in the air,” they say, but for today’s generation, love can also be found online. Even though the internet is mainly used for communicating (and possibly meeting the love of your life), it is still best to keep oneself loved and safe.
Online dating can be fun and scary, yet that is the same thing when dating in person. At the end of the day, you are your own judge for if the love you are giving is worth the love you are getting. You cannot force destiny to write you your own love story. A masterpiece takes time to be finished, and a beautiful love story does not happen alone, but maybe it can start, with just one swipe.
Illustrated by Sophia Kaye Fernandez
