a play about me by aidan allen

efflorescense poem and art by anna carroll

For some, when they see me They see him, smiling. I look inward, searching, But my view is blocked by a girl, As she waywardly will grow Lost.

I was eight when I lost Him, instantly a diamond within me. Shrouded in the kimberlite of her soul as she continues to grow, He shimmers, smiling. Placed by pressure, he is a part of this girl. Yet the riches of his love, his memory, evade me, despite the searching.

Why do I keep Searching? I pull a fading map of memories from the back pocket of my mind. I am Lost. I ask for the Girl To help Me. Instead she remains, placidly smiling And tells me to grow.

“But How?” I cry, “How can I grow?” I stare at her, probing, searching Her smiling Face for a reaction, a twitch, an inkling of truth to guide me towards what feels Lost. Nothing. She is me All those years ago, when I was little, sunshine girl.

He would always beam, remarking I was the happiest girl. In the pools of his rosy cheeks, there was no question, no doubt. Grow! Splashing about in childish song, I dove into the gregarious swells of his face, shining for me. Rock and roll was he, with imagination for hair. Searching For a giggle, he told tales of tigers that battled onion-powered giants and lost, Of smiling

Frogs, smiling Upon the girl, Letting the warts of life be lost. Grow! But with swiftness my giant fell, casting a shadow on earth. Sunflower is searching For her guiding idol. Unfazed, she stares back at me.

Politely smiling, I thank the girl. She is right. His voice was stolen by time, his embrace lost, past the point of searching. I will carry his greatness. he is within me, and I will rise with the sun and grow.