Fish Fingers and Custard - Issue 16

Following the events of Series 8, Steven Moffat has procued new offices for the production of Series 9

Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16

Cards On Table I go into this more in my review of the series, but after feeling somewhat indifferent to the original run of episodes, I’ve come to appreciate them more after a re-watch. That isn’t always the case with me - I’m a very ‘in a moment’ person, mainly because I have the tendency to replay those great moments thousands of times before they eventually become boring. After re-watching the conclusion to the series – one aspect stood out; he’s been accused of much by irate fans, but Steven Moffat hasn’t been afraid to stick his neck out and here we are again, with a controversial casting that proved to be a MASTERstroke in the end – a Female Master.

Throwing a grenade into a room and running off maniacally laughing, possibly naked, is what Steven Moffat does - and he’s played this to perfection once again with the casting of Michelle Gomez as ‘Missy’. With lots of chatter about the subject on internet forums, blogs and conventions ever since, the casting has achieved its promotional goal. It’s been the talk of the Doctor Who world all summer (well, that and the wailing about the demise of Osgood) – but after the fallout of many an argument - one question has emerged from these places: When will The Doctor become female?

The clock is ticking.

Cards on the table from me here – prior to Series 8, I didn’t believe that The Doctor, The Master, The Rani or any other Time Person should change sex when they

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regenerate. After the completion of the series, I thought Michelle Gomez was brilliant – perhaps one of my favourite ‘Master’ performances, through her utter ruthleness and air of menace. I realised then that the sex should be an irrelevance when it comes to casting fictional aliens – so why change something that has been long-established (The Doctor being a man) just for the sake of changing it? As we constantly stressed in a previous issue about some people having issues with Capaldi’s casting – it should be down to the best actor for the role, because that is the only way that true inclusion can be achieved (apart from not casting rubbish actors on purpose). Thanks to Michelle Gomez, I’m perhaps more comfortable with the idea now (and after 13 different men playing the role in 50-odd years, I don’t think you should expect people to be comfortable with the idea) – and maybe that was the point in casting a female Master, to lightly lead us into The Doctor becoming female?

From a purely-writing point-of-view however, I think that a great opportunity was missed in not introducing a new villain, who just happened to be a woman from Gallifrey. Despite it clearly working from a performance point of view, I still think changing the gender of an established character is taking the easy path to affect a change in an attempt to develop it in a new direction. Wouldn’t the better challenge not to be to create something brand-new, instead of relying on a sensationalist change in character? I

Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 was left with the nagging feeling that Michelle Gomez would have been more appreciated by a wider audience if she’d have been introduced as a new character, one that isn’t bogged down with 40 years of history, one that we knew absolutely nothing about, causing even more chatter.

You could do anything with her then –she wouldn’t be compared with her male counterparts and would stand on her own, making her all the more menacing and memorable – when she regenerates, she’ll regenerate into a woman, rather than back into a man which is the sex that I suspect the next Master will be.

Some people have said the change in sex is the ‘point of regeneration’, ‘changes things up’ and is ‘interesting’ in a world where transgender topics have never been so discussed. Some valid points, which I can’t really argue with – but ultimately, I want my Doctor Who to be surprising, to be something new and original - not something that is the representation of current real-life events and fanfiction because we all can write fanfiction. Casting a female Master may have caused a shock – but it wasn’t surprising, new or original. Not when the entire series contained short snippets

telegraphing the fact that she was The Master, anyway.

I’m struggling with my view on this now – I suppose that I loved Michelle Gomez, but I didn’t like her role being that of The Master, simply because it ruined a great chance for an original (female) character. I don’t know what’s going on anymore – and who knows? Maybe this is just another grenade thrown in by Steven Moffat and we’ll find out that the character isn’t what we think it is at all.

Who knows?

Thank-you for once again buying or downloading this Issue, I hope you enjoy reading it and don’t stop because you think I’m a sexist, genderist lunatic for simply being honest and presenting my views in a sincere manner, wanting an original role for a woman. If I posted this on an internet forum, I’d be battered around the World Wide Web and have my windows smashed in. Gallifrey knows I’ve got enough problems. Have a great rest-of the summer (or winter). If you’d like to give your view on the upcoming series or on anything that appears within these pages – please e-mail us at fishcustardfanzine@googlemail.com

This Issue of Fish Fingers and Custard is sponsored by the National Health Service, because without them, I wouldn’t be here. So blame them.

Editor: Daniel Gee Contributors: Anonymous, Tim Gambrell, Arthur Graeme Smith, Jamie Beckwith, Matthew Kresal, Arthur Orse and Cyber Colin Doctor Who is ©BBC. For now at least. No Copyright Infringement is intended

FFAC118

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16

The Planet of The Puddingbrains: Series 8 Reviewed

Unflinching Beyond Midnight Our first impression of Doctor Who Series 8 came, naturally enough, by way of the opening credits: an overt and overly delineated depiction of time and space, somewhat bland (sterile, almost) in the grand scheme of programme intros. Deep Breath itself was also a bit of a disappointment, not because of new bod Peter Capaldi but because Steven Moffat wrote such a contrived episode trying to convince us to give this new Doctor a chance. As if Matt Smith’s demise was actually as traumatic for viewers as Moffat had tried to make it with all his narrative hyperbole; as if all the fans teetering on the edge of heartbreak since David Tennant moved on would go into some sort of delayed romantic mourning; as if those who’d so wholeheartedly welcomed Christopher Eccleston wouldn’t throw their arms wide to embrace a new, Scottish

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Doctor with the gravity of recognisable agedness and an unapologetically dark edge. A brilliant casting choice, but shame on you, Steven Moffat, for being so patronising. Into the Dalek was where we should have started, and what a beginning it would have made! Forget the so-called War Doctor and his unthinkably taboo, unDoctorlike behaviour; Peter Capaldi’s version transcends that without qualm, his callous pragmatism making no concessions to the niceties of old. This boldly unlikable incarnation is what Colin Baker could have been had he been given better scripts and the costume he wanted. Bravo, and with better to come. Robot of Sherwood upped the ante, showing that the Doctor’s new negative traits still allow both for humour and for a heroism of sorts; what’s more, it did so within a cleverly conceived, selfcontained story the likes of which would sporadically light up Matt Smith’s tenure (whenever Steven Moffat allowed us a break from his grandiose season-spanning

Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 plot arcs). Listen tapped into the gothic horror so beloved from the heady days of Tom Baker, only with slick production values. It’s the sort of story New Series Who has always done well, albeit one embraced more reservedly by Steven Moffat and Russell T Davies before him than by Philip Hinchcliffe back in the day.

No doubt there’s method to this more measured approach: whereas Hinchcliffe pushed the envelope right through Mary Whitehouse’s letterbox and brought about the censorship apocalypse, Moffat tends to follow up with a couple of postcards marked Just kidding! In this case: Time Heist and The Caretaker, both of which (broadly speaking and within the boundaries of Capaldi’s Doctor) constitute light-hearted romps. Clara, meanwhile, is given scope to develop her duelling relationships: with the Doctor, who remains wonderfully dismissive even as his egocentricity demands her attention; and with Danny Pink, whom it’s hard not to think of as Mickey Smith grown up. Even in these more flippant episodes the entire programme seems to have matured. This feeling is heightened with Kill the Moon, wherein the dark approach is not only in evidence again but also seasoned with the moralistic ambiguity of both Clara’s decision and the Doctor’s refusal to guide her in making it. As with any good metamorphosis, Peter Capaldi by this stage of the season has left his predecessors behind and emerged as a very different creature indeed, fronting a show similarly changed in tone. For all that nostalgia will draw us back, the old Doctors are for now relegated, which is as it should be. Mummy on the Orient Express gave us adrenaline

without movement (as per the David Tennant story Midnight), and of course it was largely through utter disdain for this ideology that John Nathan-Turner sent 1980s Who into an endlessly synthesised loop chasing plot mirages around corridors of ever more dubious relevance. The production values help, but... well, let’s not go there. Let’s just be happy we’ve moved on! Flatline could be said to exemplify the key element of Peter Capaldi’s first season: edginess, in the trifold form of sinister scenarios, gallows humour and the Doctor’s sociopathic approach to people (including his companion). Even for those of us who rejoiced when Capaldi was announced as the new Doctor, series eight had by this point exceeded all expectation.

Matt Smith’s flittering and wittering was all very well — and probably just what the programme needed after David Tennant’s swashbuckling savoir faire — but something more serious had to follow.

Peter Capaldi brings this quality even to such relatively light episodes as In the Forest of the Night, which of all the stories on offer perhaps tried overly hard to evoke drama. But as much as Capaldi was proving to be a virtuoso in the role, the fact that this tale ended with yet another snippet of Missy, the season’s obligatory recurring enigma, was undeniably worrying. Was Steven Moffat going anywhere worthwhile with this, or were we set for another season-ending conflagration to burn down those wonders but recently erected? Dark Water began as if to dispel these fears: the loss of Danny Pink; Clara’s grief; her helplessness; her resolve; and eventually, her action in stirring the Doctor to brazen defiance of death itself. It came almost

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 thirty-three years late, but this is what we should have had when Adric died. What a phenomenal denouement! Except— Oh. Maybe not. In 1982 we were given TimeFlight, which was long afterwards thought to have just about nothing going for it.

Well, it turns out it has one redeeming feature: it’s not Death in Heaven. What in the name of Rassilon’s right testicle was—?

Ah, forget it. Apparently Steven Moffat really is determined to finish off each season by contriving and emoting and flambéing us in flapdoodle, slathering layer upon layer in a groundless search for spectacle. Matt Smith’s finales were in no way anomalous; this is just what Moffat does: empty escalation sufficient to bring JNT back from the dead. No matter. Just don’t judge the book by its back cover! Last minute flat tyre and epic let-down notwithstanding, Peter Capaldi has arrived: the Hyde to Jon Pertwee’s Jekyll. Just like the new TARDIS interior, the future looks dark, dandy and full of panache. Vale the Valeyard; onward we go, unflinching.

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general audience in the cinemas. I thought it originally lacked any substance, something for the audience to hold onto, in order for them to be able to get behind this ‘new’ Doctor. Although it was a nice moment when the Eleventh Doctor made that phone call, I think it says everything about why that scene was needed - he’s talking to, pleading with, the audience to accept the new Doctor. After re-watching the entire series, I can now see that the episode was a decent start. I liked how The Doctor compares himself with the droid – what with them both changing so many times in order to reach the promised land.

What’s the point in both of their existence?

A question for The Doctor to ponder, maybe?

ARTHUR GRAEME SMITH (http://www.derelictspacesheep.com)

Fear Makes Companions of Us All Deep Breath kicks off the new era and perhaps my favourite part of the whole episode was the great continuity from The Time of The Doctor - when the dinosaur spat out the TARDIS (that, if you remember, The Doctor forgot how to fly when he regenerated!) However, I originally found it difficult to get behind the episode after the first viewing – so I can only imagine how it went down with a

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Even though I’m becoming increasingly sick of the Daleks’ constant presence in the series, Into The Dalek at least offers something different and yet a further look inside the mind of The Doctor. One exchange which summed up his character was when ‘Rusty’ exclaimed that ‘The Daleks are exterminated’, with The Doctor replying with a curt (and arrogant) ‘Of course – that’s what you do, isn’t it?’ No Doctor - that is what YOU do. He IS a good Dalek.

Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 Even though Robot of Sherwood had the enormous potential to be slightly off-thewall in attempting to portray the legend, I thought it was enjoyable on the whole, with the highlight for me being The Doctor’s and Robin’s relationship. Childish squabbling it may have been – but that is what The Doctor does. Why grow up if you can’t be childish sometimes?

Listen (or L-I-S-T-E-NNNNN, as it should be pronounced) was my standout favourite of the series. The opening, with The Doctor sat on the TARDIS telling us to L-I-S-T-ENNNNN, already has a ‘classic Capaldi feel’ about it, for when we review his era in the years to come - it’s creepy and bizarre and you’ve simply got no idea what is going on.

The episode was designed to scare with the minimum of fuss - no CGI monsters needed – just real, weird things in the form of people’s dreams. Everyone has them – and there’s nothing scarier than your own imagination, as only you know what scares you. There was a great twist with The Doctor at the end, thinking the boy that Clara visited was Danny/Orson – then her accidentally becoming the monster under his bed. I was pleased at how the episode pitched the ‘young Doctor’ and if anything, this episode has made The Doctor more

mysterious by showing a bit of his childhood. It shouldn’t really be possible to achieve that by this method – but here we are. Also, I won’t believe anyone who says that they didn’t snigger at ‘You said you had a date – so I thought I’d better hide in the bedroom in case you brought him home’.

Time Heist offers a great change of pace from L-I-S-T-E-NNNNN, with its fast-paced nature and what I thought, were likeable supporting characters. So I’ll review it in the same manner. Next up, The Caretaker once again sees The Doctor adopt the John Smith persona – which incidentally, I would love to see him caught out with one day.

John Smith? That’s not your real name is it?

This is another episode which sees Clara literally use The Doctor as a taxi service, which I can see why it’ll get annoying for some, but if you think about – it does make sense. Clara has ties on earth, so it makes no sense for her to be off travelling for years, maybe even decades, then returning to her old life and time – looking older and out of place. A gradual change is better and we’re starting to see that in her character which The Caretaker underlines as she lies to Danny about her double-life. However, I do have a problem with The Doctor having a problem with soldiers – Danny was right when he said that The Doctor ‘is an officer’ – he effectively gives orders to his soldiers to kill, or be killed in his stead. Yet The Doctor has only ever skirted over this, but how many supporting characters, or even companions, have died or sacrificed their lives instead of him? It’s something that was lightly touched upon by Davros in Journey’s End – but I don’t feel it’s been

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 sufficiently dealt with. It seems, even after all these experiences, The Doctor still hasn’t learnt his lesson and has to be told what he is by the people he ridicules (P.E!) and who he thinks are ‘stupid apes’. Which, is typical of The Doctor, really!

Kill The Moon was an interesting concept that wasn’t quite convincing enough for me. I think The Doctor was right to leave them to the decide to blow the moon up or not - it isn’t his planet, so why should he always be making the decisions and thus further becoming the dictating officer that Danny (and myself!) labels him as? I’m not really sure it was a good idea for Clara and Lundvik to leave the decision to those who control the lights on earth though – because who really controls them? Us, as normal people? Or the big energy corporations with investments in governments? Elsewhere, I really thought they would try to continue to develop Courtney (‘Disruptive Influence’) as a character, instead of dumping her off at the end of the episode - I feel that was an opportunity missed to see how The Doctor and Clara react to another character on board the TARDIS. Maybe we’ll see her again. At the end, I thought Clara’s was a bit out of order with her rant – I think she’s bang wrong with everything that she said and left the fate of the planet in the hands of big business, so she’s a fine one to have a go at The Doctor!

Mummy on The Orient Express has an interesting set-up with the ticking clock motif, which adds to this series’ mantra of throwing out new ideas and testing new concepts for Doctor Who – which I think is

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better done at a time like this, when a new Doctor is being ‘broken in’. Clara’s odd behaviour and lies sums up her ‘addiction’’ as she continues to lie to everyone - and it’s clear that The Doctor is lonely and just needs someone, which further explains why he keeps picking her up and whisking her off on adventures in between her lessons. It was interesting to note Perkins’ comments about how travel in the TARDIS ‘could change a man’ – it has changed Clara. For the worst it seems.

Flatline offers yet another interesting concept, this time in the form of this 2D vs 3D battle. I feel that everyone involved just about got away with something that probably would make for a better read, than watch, but fair play for the effort. We find out at the end that The Doctor is he who fights monsters – has The Doctor arrived now? He’s certainly been growing into his new persona – which is ironic considering he was aboard a shrinking TARDIS for the majority of this story!

In The Forest of The Night is a gentle story, from the keyboard (I presume) of lauded

Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 children’s author Frank Cottrell-Boyce, that tries sum up elements of the series plot in preparing for the finale, along with a tale about the wisdom of adolescence and a missing family member story that didn’t quite work – if this episode was longer and expanded upon that storyline, it would have been all the better for it. We get a call-back to Kill The Moon with The Doctor stating to Clara that this is my world too!

Like the trees , Danny continues to grow with his point of there are wonders here on earth – something which Clara is missing as she travels the universe, lying to everyone!

The Doctor meanwhile, is still learning about himself – the moment he realises about young Maebh and how he should have listened to her when he first met her, suggesting that he’s further coming to grips with himself.

We arrive at the finale, with Dark Water/Death In Heaven containing plenty of standout moments, but like the series itself, I feel it didn’t quite stitch together as well as it should have done, in order to present us with a more fluid series narrative. Having elements such as the ‘dark water’ hiding the Cybermen is utter class and a spin on the usual ‘Tomb of the Cybermen’ references, with them usually breaking out of caskets or through windows. This is tempered with a rather odd ‘final’ cliffhanger of Danny hanging his finger over a button on a computer tablet, deciding whether he apparently should die ‘for real’. A cliffhanger on Missy’s ‘reveal’ would have served better.

Death In Heaven starts well, with the best trolling/shithousing in the series since they

called an episode ‘The Next Doctor’ and made David Morrissey play along. At the start of Death In Heaven, we learn that in fact, Clara IS The Doctor - Jenna’s name appears first in the credits and her face is in there too for good measure – all just to mirror Missy’s reveal at the end of Dark Water!

In the end, I wasn’t clear on why Missy did all of this in the first place – surely her experience will lead her to believe The Doctor would never buddy up and take charge of a Cyberman army? Was it all done just to torment The Doctor and there’s an even bigger plan afoot? Was it to show us that The Doctor wasn’t an officer, by him turning the army away?

Missy was superb though – her cold, calculating Master touching upon Roger Delgado’s portrayal at times. I won’t go into the whole ‘raising the dead to be Cybermen’ plot, simply because I just don’t know how to explain my feelings. Let’s just say it made me uncomfortable and intrigued, in equal measures.

You may have gathered that I quite enjoyed Danny’s character in this series and here we have the heartbreaking end.

Samuel Anderson did a great job in the role and I don’t think he’s been as appreciated

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 as maybe he should be. Should this have been the end of the road for Clara?

Depending on what will happen in the upcoming series, I’m struggling to think of a more poetic ending, as The Doctor and Clara parted on good terms, as they lied to each other, in order to protect each other.

Which rather summed up their relationship, for me!

Overall, the series was full of interesting ideas and sparkling dialogue, that didn’t quite stick together as well as it probably should have done. A decent first series for Peter Capaldi – here’s hoping he’s got some great stories to come!

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DANIEL GEE

Death and ‘Death In Heaven’ When it was announced that ‘Robot of Sherwood’ had been cut prior to broadcast in order to delete a beheading scene that chimed, supposedly uncomfortably, with the topical killing of hostages by Islamic State, some responses were quite understandably a bit miffed, and bemused.

If the cut was to prevent offense to someone actually affected by the beheadings, some fans asked the not unreasonable question “why the hell would someone whose loved one had just been murdered by IS then tune in to watch their favourite space adventure programme?”

I confess to being one of those who posed that question, flabbergasted at the BBC’s idiocy in pandering (so I thought) to the sort of hypothetical people eager to find something, anything, to be shocked and offended about. I had no idea that just a

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few weeks later there would be another Dr Who episode, part one of the big two-part season finale, which itself flirted with a subject that some people (even fans, this time) complained as being perhaps a bit on the tasteless side. I had even less of an idea that that episode’s big concept, death, would intrude into my life on the very day that the second part of the story was broadcast. For on the day of the first British TX of ‘Death in Heaven’, I had my first real experience with death.

Of course, I’d had relatives who had died before. Our Grandad died when I was a kid, too young really to be all that affected by it... and we were Scottish so we had the bizarre thing of going to see him at his wake, partygoers getting increasingly pissed whilst Grandad lay there in the middle of it all in his coffin, as if he’d had too much to drink and had just lain down for a wee nap... When I left University to work in Yorkshire news reached me (somehow... with no landline and no mobile phone) of my Granny’s passing... that one I did feel, intensely, but locked at the time in a strange isolation (the first manifestation of a mental breakdown) I chickened out of going to the funeral... think I pissed off some of my relatives with that one... well anyway...

But these had all happened off-stage as it were. Death was never something I’d seen up close or been involved with directly. The day of ‘Death in Heaven’ was altogether different.

Long story short... I work with Learning Disabled adults and that Saturday afternoon I found one of my clients, in his

Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 flat, dead. It was weird how suddenly and immediately the fact of death hits you, when you can see it, smell it. Everything in you reacts against it. All the training you’ve been given goes out the window and you panic, panicking all the more precisely because you know deep down this isn’t a First Aid situation, the person is dead.

DEAD. Suffice to say the next hour or so was a flurry of activity and a whirlpool of emotions as ambulance, police and one of my managers arrived. Even as I talked with them, repeating the same details a few times over, I could feel myself getting distanced from it. This actually helped in a way. The more you tell a story the more it becomes a story... gives you a bit of distance from the reality involved at its centre.

Anyway... I had been due to stay on all night but my manager said there was no way I was doing that... go home, take as long off as you need, etc... so I go home... met my mum briefly to chat, she made me feel a bit better... told me “it’ll hit you eventually, just let it happen” etc...

So of course I get home and what do I do on autopilot? Well I’m single and I’m lazy...

I switch on the TV. It was around the time Dr Who was due to start.

I’m not a total idiot. I should have known what to expect. Death and the afterlife was what part 1 was all about! But I switched it on anyway. Nothing to do with the BBC schedulers, or the producers of Dr Who themselves. Statistically I’m sure I can’t have been the only one that day who had

decided, perhaps even as an automatic reaction, to respond (blazingly absurd as this may seem) to some traumatic event by turning on the telly and plonking oneself down unthinkingly in front of it. Well anyway that’s what I did.

It was strange. I felt like I was watching it through the other end of a very long tunnel a million miles away. I could hear the dialogue and see the action unfolding but I was incredibly distant from it. Clara Eyes in the opening titles, Missy’s antics, Osgood’s death, the Doctor being made President of the World, some business with a plane... on paper this is all good stuff but they may as well have broadcast 30 minutes of footage of someone opening tins of beans for all the emotional impact it was having on me. I just sat there barely taking it all in.

But then something happened. Something just clicked when the Brigadier’s Cybernised corpse was dredged up to save the day... as I say the action was having very little impact on me but, in a masochistic way, maybe I was daring the programme to press my buttons (or daring myself to let it)... and this was it. Why would anyone sit down to watch a space adventure programme after someone they knew died? Because it’s a mechanical reaction, maybe even comforting in a small way. But why would anyone (i.e me) sit down to watch a space adventure programme which they knew was about some weird scheme to weaponise the world’s corpses and wage war on Earth from the afterlife after someone they knew died? Because he’s an idiot. Because he

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 wanted to feel something, whatever it was, however jumbled up.

The Cyber-Brig was it for me. Like the final episode of Series 6 (which stopped me watching the series until Series 7B) it prompted me to chuck Dr Who in a bin for a while. An absolute farrago (so it seemed in my sensitive state) that almost literally dug up and pissed all over the past... and another example of Moffat’s pathological need to reassure everyone, in the face of all reason, that Death Is Not The End.... when, well, of course it bloody well is...

Well, I switched off, 45 minutes too late.

My own fault. Not the production team’s. If

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it had been broadcast a week earlier I may have liked it. A week later and I would have had better perspective. But it had its effect on me. I haven’t watched New Who since and don’t intend to for some time yet (I will, in good time. Of course I will, it’s Dr bloody Who! It took me a year to get around to watching Series 7A on Blu-ray).

So pardon me for being the only person in fandom unmoved by Osgood being killed

by Missy... because sometime real life throws a sick punchline all of its own. The deaths of Osgood, the Brig, UNIT Grunt #7 or whoever, can’t really compare with that... alas.

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ANONYMOUS

Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16

It’s Just A Dream: Last Christmas Review

He probably just woke up somewhere in the real world - dead It might be hard to imagine BUT just imagine for a minute that you’re in that crazy maze of a mind that belongs to Steven Moffat, like you’ve been shrunk and you’re trying to repair this Dalek of a man, who may or may not constantly repeat himself and pass it off as original thoughts. This mind has just come up with the idea of inserting Father Christmas into a Doctor Who story – and what’s more, decided to cast Nick Frost because his name alone would be ‘hilarious’ for him to be playing Father Christmas. Add in the unpredictable depths of dreams, together with references galore to classic sci-fi and horror tales and you’ve got something those Dalek antibodies would have zapped a long time ago. But you know what? Bizarrely, it works.

Personally, I’ve found Christmas specials to be too whimsical, too referential to other works, even basing the entire story around them sometimes. I must be the only person I know who actually enjoyed Voyage of The Damned, simply because it was all a con for someone to make money and a ‘bad guy’ survived, whilst other nice people didn’t - which I’ve found, are story elements that are much more true to life. Ironically, I think the fact that Last Christmas was a dream, so was able to bring works such as Alien (racist!) and The Thing to life (not to mention being a classic base-under-siege Doctor Who story, complete with a Troughton, with Father Christmas and his Elves hanging around) was its main strength! It works because aside from the final scene of Clara jumping back on board the TARDIS – everything is a dream. It’s a simple device, but yet it’s a stroke of genius, as you could get away with literally anything in a ‘dream’ scenario. Santa’s isn’t real – but neither are our dreams! It makes him the perfect help for

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 when you’re having a nightmare. Personally, I’d prefer the T1000 from Terminator 2, but each to their own.

I found that watching the episode was easy and that the hour flew by, which I think, is a positive sign that you’re enjoying it. There isn’t too much to ‘enjoy’, as it’s quite the dark, scary tale that Doctor Who does from time-to-time. Again, I think I enjoyed it because it was different to previous Christmas episodes with their light tones and whimsical attitudes. Capaldi is brilliant once again and you can see his thawing out now – exactly what we had been anticipating (we, as in those of us who told others to ‘calm down’ when labelling him as ‘old and grumpy’). He’s now smiling and laughing and realising who he is. Give him another series and he’ll probably start hugging people too.

With the ending of Death In Heaven seemingly being the end of the road for Clara, she reappears in this special and with much to deal with, in terms of her grief and lying to The Doctor, I think it was handled superbly. Having Danny just magically ‘come back’ into her life would cheapen his sacrifice, so it was good to see Clara realise that (well, not ‘good’, but you know what I mean!) which meant that a final lid was placed on it, as Dream Danny tells her to go back - he’s already gone and this is her dream. Pain and loss, they define us as much as happiness or love, as Sarah Jane says on her return in School Reunion and those words are still applicable as they ever were. I just hope they don’t ruin it once Clara does finally leave the TARDIS! Top stuff, hope it’s a sign of things to come!

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16

Toby Hadoke’s Who’s Round: A podcast for all fans for all ages Someone, some day, is going to compile a book, a huge fat book (or two), made up of the transcripts of Toby Hadoke’s Who’s Rounds, and this book is going to become a definitive guide to Doctor Who personnel. This is my prediction and, let’s face it, it’s not a great stretch of the imagination. If you haven’t listened to any of these podcasts you should consider handing in your badge of fandom. If you haven’t listened to all of them then, sheriff, I’ll need your guns as well.

Toby’s quest has been admirable. It doesn’t matter that he failed to cover all the stories from An Unearthly Child to The Name of The Doctor within the year 2013 (Vincent and The Doctor was the only one missed, thanks to a clerical oversight!), but it does matter that he’s getting on record the memories and thoughts of these individuals who have worked on Doctor Who in some respect or other (often unsung), between 1963 and now – and I say ‘now’ because I assume that as long as people are happy to talk to him for free he will carry on talking to them and recording it and Big Finish will package it up and release it.

Some of the interviews have been fascinating, some utterly hilarious and some have been plain awful – but then that’s the case for the programme they’re discussing, and you can’t expect everyone to be as erudite as Peter flippin’ Ustinov when a microphone is pointing at them. A lot of his victims so far have never spoken publicly before, either about their contribution to Doctor Who or in some cases about their work in general. Some of the early ones were far too long – this was acknowledged and so other lengthy chats were split into two (or in Russell T. Davies’ case - lots!) Half an hour is the usual rough running time and it suits them well in my view.

The gorgeous thing about the podcasts and the project as a whole is that there are no hard and fast rules. Not all the actors are interesting, not all the behind the scenes guys are boring and institutionalised. Some of the doddery old timers are as dull as dishwater, but then some have the sweetest and most heart-warming tales to tell. Usually everyone has an interesting story to impart in some respect and those who have spoken before either on screen or in print

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 have come across in a much more candid and open way here – Richard Martin, I’m looking at you here, with your views on Terry Nation and Verity Lambert!

It’s a record of the changing map of the BBC, the landscape of TV in general and TV production techniques over the last fifty-odd years as much as it is a record of those who’ve specifically worked on Doctor Who. Some contributors clearly had a terrible time on the show, but for others it was a career and a personal highlight. Neither type of tale is preferential to the other, the joy comes in the telling and the hearing. Hadoke is occasionally guilty of peddling certain fan staples when questioning his guests: he’s very eager to get tales of Tom Baker or William Hartnell being difficult to work with, and happily tows the line on certain stories being considered awful and others being firm classics. Sometimes these views are sustained by the responses, but often not. It’s clear, for example, that Jon Pertwee was also a very difficult man to work with in many ways, and it’s interesting to hear the sheer range of opinions and experiences.

One sad factor is how many contributors have subsequently passed on. We can celebrate them through these recordings at least, but it’s a stark reminder of how fragile our existence is as we haven’t even had all the original recordings from 2013 made available to us yet.

Many of the best and most engaging of the podcasts are those that have drifted off to talk at length about the individual’s career outside of Doctor Who. For many contributors Doctor Who has been such a minor part of their professional lives that it’s almost embarrassing asking them at length about two weeks work in 1972 whilst ignoring a seven year stint at the National Theatre, for example, or the successful films they’ve since done with Mike Leigh or whoever.

Thankfully Hadoke, whilst being a total fanboy, is also a realist. I bumped into David Collings at Lewes train station last year and thanked him for the joy his acting had given me over the years. But I was mortified that I couldn’t immediately bring to mind any examples of his work other than Doctor Who and Blake’s 7 – he predicted I was a Who fan and smiled, nodding his head knowingly. He clearly gets that a lot. I kicked myself hours later when I recalled that I have him on CD as Legolas in the BBC Radio 4 Lord of The Rings – it would probably have been quite refreshing for him to be faced with that instead of Mawdryn Undead again! Toby Hadoke is prepared for these things, of course, with a full career biography for his victims at hand in his brain. Allowing a more general discussion at least makes us fans seem slightly less myopically obsessive, I hope.

The Lynda Bellingham podcasts were brilliant in their discussion of sexual politics and shifting standards over the years, as well as being heart-breaking because of how recently she’d died.

She was clearly so enthusiastic about being a part of Toby’s quest as well as a part of Doctor Who. Similarly Brian Croucher is very politically driven and his podcast was at times hilarious, at times edgy, but a highlight all the same. Bernard Kay, another subsequent loss, was interesting as much for being such a curmudgeonly old bugger as anything, but the sorrow behind his life was very moving. Geoffrey Bayldon’s podcast was a difficult listen because he’s

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 clearly very old and frail in body and mind, but to hear him talk about his life with Alan Rowe, albeit briefly, was something that would touch the heart of anyone.

Then you get contributors such as Margot Hayhoe, Russell T. Davies or David Rodin whose enthusiasm and energy just bubbles out of the speakers and carries the listener along on a wave of smiles and positivity – something upbeat for the commuter, a great way to start the day, in my experience.

Because of the varying sound quality (and background music clearances!) I doubt these podcast recordings would ever suit any kind of compendious commercial edition, but there must be plenty there to fill the pages of a book or two once the quest is complete.

For those contributors who haven’t been recorded or remarked anywhere else it’s surely pleasing to have an interview like this as a legacy for family, friends and future fans, at least.

It’s a fine example of the show being able to give something positive back to those who’ve given something positive to the show over the years.

Keep going Toby, and we’ll keep listening and contributing to those charities!

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TIM GAMBRELL

Toby’s Hadoke’s Who’s Round can be found on the Big Finish website – click on the ‘ranges’ button to view the full catalogue. Alternatively, you can subscribe to the Big Finish podcast, which regularly releases episodes of Who’s Round at https://www.bigfinish.com/podcasts Picture taken from the Big Finish website

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16

Who and There (and Back Again) Aged 6 (October 1988): My Dad is reading the Radio Times. There’s a show called Doctor Who about to start a new season. My Dad didn’t know the show was still running but had remembered it fondly from his own childhood in the 1960s. “We should watch this” he says, little knowing this will change my life.

Aged 7 (November 1988): Daleks! Cybermen! I’m hooked on Doctor Who. It’s the most exciting show I’ve ever watched. I love Sylvester McCoy, the wise and mysterious Time Lord, whose clownish antics mask hidden depths. I love sassy Ace with her cute face and nitro-nine explosives. I’ve also just discovered there’s a whole world of Doctor Who books in my local library.

Aged 7 (July 1989): I’m spending the summer in Colombia and I took my copy of Doctor Who: The Making of a Television Series which I’d bought from my local library for the grand sum of 50p. There was a full colour spread of all the best monsters from the past including the terrifying Mandrels and every time night fell I was terrified the Mandrels would emerge from the jungle that was my Grandfather’s garden.

Aged 8 (December 1989): The Doctor and Ace have walked off in to the sunset having defeated the villainous Master. I was a bit worried that the BBC Continuity Announcer didn’t say “Doctor Who will be back next Autumn” but I figured this was just an oversight.

Aged 8 (September 1990): Each week I scour the Radio Times looking for news of the new series of Doctor Who. Still it’ll be back soon I’m sure.

Aged 9 (January 1991): Still scouring the Radio Times for news of Doctor Who. Whilst doing so my eyes alight upon something called Doctor Who Magazine. Issue 170 and Colin Baker is on the cover. I had no idea who he is as Doctor Who: The Making of a Television Series was published in 1982.

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 Aged 10 (March 1992): “Just for once Jamie could you please chose something other than a Doctor Who novelisation for your book report?” my long suffering teacher begs me, despite me knowing she also watched Doctor Who when she was a kid. I resolutely ignore her.

Aged 11 (February 1993): I’m the only one of my friends who still loves Doctor Who. The show has been off air for over three years now and everyone who used to watch it has forgotten or gone off it. I still try to shoehorn Doctor Who in to conversations but it doesn’t work.

Aged 12 (November 1993): Doctor Who meets EastEnders in 3D! A piece of me dies that day. I have experienced disillusionment with Doctor Who for the first time.

Aged 13 (November 1994): I’ve discovered I like girls. I’ve also discovered there are no girls I know who like or even care about Doctor Who. I still read the New Adventures but have learnt how to hold them so that my hands cover the Doctor Who logo.

Aged 14 (November 1995): BBC2 has started showing Deep Space Nine. I’m hooked from the first episode I watch. I didn’t realise it was part of Star Trek at first and had never really checked that show out before because I’d considered it through the osmosis of Who fan wisdom to be a rival show. Still with Doctor Who off the air and never coming back I decide to also give The Next Generation a try. Very soon I am a Trekkie instead of a Whovian.

Aged 14 (February 1996): PAUL MCGANN IS THE DOCTOR! Screams the cover of Doctor Who Magazine. Oh my God! The show is coming back! I’m so excited! This is going to be the best thing ever.

Aged 14 (May 1996): Sylvester McCoy has regenerated before my eyes by means of CGI gurning in to Paul McGann. I hadn’t appreciated how upset I’d be by seeing “my” Doctor die, even though I know change and renewal are part of the show. I so wanted to like the TV Movie but I just felt bitterly disappointed. Unfairly. I blame Paul McGann for this.

Aged 16 (September 1998): I’m in college. I have lots of friends, many of whom are girls. In my many failed attempts to impress them at least it wasn’t harping on about Doctor Who which scuppered all chances of romance. What a silly show it was I used to watch.

Aged 18 (March 2000): I’m in love with my best friend. She knows I liked Doctor Who but doesn’t seem to mind. She doesn’t seem overly interested in talking about Doctor Who though. She also doesn’t really seem interested in loving me back which is just as much of a bummer.

Aged 18 (October 2000): I’m moving away from home to go to university. All of my Doctor Who stuff stays behind. I’m a man now and it’s time to put away childish things. I want to make a good impression on my new flat mates and all the friends I’ll make.

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 Aged 19 (April 2001): My flatmate and I are in W H Smith. He buys some magazines furtively. I think he’s shy about his copy of GAY as he isn’t out publically but actually it’s a copy of Doctor Who Magazine he’s hiding. We’ve lived together for six months now and had never known we had a shared secret. We go home and watch Remembrance of the Daleks which he’d had in his room, hidden behind his copy of Queer as Folk. From now on we speak in a shared secret code as we know our other flat mate is definitely not one of us.

Aged 21 (October 2003): Doctor Who is coming back. I can’t remember how I heard about it. It seems slightly unbelievable. Although I’ve parted company with the show I retain a fondness for it and I’m worried that it will come back and cement its place as a laughing stock of the nation rather than as a piece of childhood magic. I buy Remembrance of the Daleks on DVD. That at least is still brilliant.

Aged 22 (March 2004): I’m at a student bar with my mates when my sister texts me “CHRISTOPHER ECCLESTON IS THE DOCTOR!” My mate Paul has never watched Doctor Who in his life but upon hearing this casting news ventures the opinion he might now watch it. I start to get cautiously optimistic.

Aged 22 (May 2004): Billie Piper is announced as the new companion in the new series of Doctor Who. Once again I am disillusioned. Casting a pop star is a desperate attempt at publicity and the show will flop. Still I quite fancy Billie Piper and use that new fangled internet thing to look at saucy photos of her.

Aged 23 (January 2005): My girlfriend (Eee! I finally have one! How exciting!) asks me if I’ve heard about a show called Doctor Who as it seems like the kind of thing I’d be in to. I bashfully tell her I’ve seen a few episodes here and there. As our relationship progress to the stage where she sees the inside of my bedroom the immense collection of target novelisations, videos tapes and Dapol toys betrays the modest picture I’d tried to paint. Thankfully she still likes me. (She doesn’t know that whilst I was waiting for her to turn up on our very first date I bought Ghost Light on DVD) Aged 23 (February 2005): As publicity for the brand new series of Doctor Who gears up I actually start to get quite excited. Maybe just maybe this series will be good. Maybe just maybe the entire nation will fall in love with the show. My friend Paul confirms he plans to watch it. He’s been drawn by the calibre of writers. He doesn’t know Russell T. Davies as the

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 author of Damaged Goods or Steven Moffat as the writer of The Curse of Fatal Death, he knows them as from Bob & Rose and Coupling and is intrigued.

Aged 23 (March 2005): I’ve just started a new job and unfortunately am scheduled to work a 12 hour shift the day Rose is supposed to air, plus a 12 hour shift the following day. In the days before smart phones, broadband and social media I successfully avoid spoilers until I can finally watch it on Easter Monday. I’m conflicted. It’s not like the Doctor Who of my childhood but its very good. Eccleston is amazing and so is Billie Piper (I feel suitably chastised). The trailer for The End of the World looks amazing, I think they’ve got this right.

Aged 23 (June 2005): Christopher Eccleston regenerates before my eyes. I immediately hate the newcomer David Tennant. No matter, I am a fully fledged Doctor Who fan and always was really. Russell T. Davies has done a spectacular job of updating the show yet remaining faithful to what made it so great in the first place. My girlfriend and I have split up but Doctor Who was not the cause.

Aged 24 (April 2006): I still don’t like the Tenth Doctor. I’m hoping he’ll grow on me. I seem to be in a minority, the whole world has suddenly come out as Doctor Who fans and Tennant mania sweeps the nation.

Aged 24 (June 2006): Browsing the internet for Doctor Who related material I find the blog of a Doctor Who fan in Albuquerque, New Mexico who is reviewing current and classic episodes.

The reviews are good and I leave comments. She gets in touch thanking me for my comments and we start corresponding regularly by email.

Aged 25 (June 2007): Leslie, the Doctor Who fan I’d been corresponding with has temporarily moved to the UK to do an MA at Swansea University. She invites me to visit her and we visit Cardiff too and tour Doctor Who locations. Later that evening we watch the Master reborn in Utopia. It’s an extremely memorable holiday.

Aged 26 (July 2008): My sister’s 25th birthday party coincides with the broadcast of Journey’s End. Feeling very guilty I sneak away to watch it. I feel less guilty when most of the other guests want to watch it too. That David Tennant has grown on me so I’m glad he didn’t regenerate in to Jimmy Nesbit.

Aged 27 (December 2008): Leslie comes to visit me in London and we go to the Doctor Who exhibition in Earls Court on New Years Eve. At the end of the exhibitions all the interactive bits have been beaten to death by hoards of kids but it’s still fun. Leslie celebrates the publication of issue 1 of a new fanzine The Terrible Zodin which she has produced and asked me to write for.

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 Aged 27 (May 2009): Leslie and I go on holiday to France. Being Who fans we theme it by taking City of Death on DVD and the novelisations of The Reign of Terror and The Massacre with us. We manage to watch and read these despite also being quite busy finally hooking up!

Aged 28 (January 2010): I did like David Tennant in the end but my goodness he took forever to regenerate. I don’t care if you don’t want go! Leslie is in floods of tears but I’m hungry for leftover Christmas turkey. I immediately dislike Matt Smith.

Aged 28 (April 2010): I watch The Eleventh Hour. I love Matt Smith. He immediately becomes my favourite Doctor (after Sylvester McCoy, Patrick Troughton and Tom Baker of course) Aged 28 (July 2010): A Doctor Who themed podcast The Flashing Blade host a picnic in Hyde Park open to all. This is the first time Leslie and I have met a large group of Doctor Who fans en masse and we’re not quite sure what to expect. We are met by a diverse group of people who are friendly and welcoming and very soon we have made friends for life. This inspires us to host our own an annual meet up for readers of The Terrible Zodin.

Aged 29 (August 2011): We watch Lets Kill Hitler whilst on holiday. I still love Matt Smith but by goodness that was a terrible episode and I hadn’t been much inspired by most of the first half of Season 6. Is Doctor Who losing its way?

Aged 32 (November 2013): Doctor Who celebrates its 50th anniversary. I’m in Colombia so I don’t see Day of the Doctor on original broadcast (My parents don’t have BBC Latin America) so we watch An Unearthly Child on DVD which I totally review in another issue of Fish Fingers & Custard. Even though I’m missing out on the anniversary buzz and will have to avoid social media until I return to the UK at Christmas I feel so lucky that Doctor Who was a part of my life. Doctor Who in the end has bought me friendship and love and hours and hours of entertainment. It contributes hugely to who I am today and I wouldn’t change that for the world. I will always love Doctor Who. Aged 32 (August 2014): I was so excited that Peter Capaldi was the new Doctor. So the fact that I found Deep Breath to be empty and soulless was very upsetting.

Aged 33 (July 2014): I’m not really all that excited that there’ll be a new series of Doctor Who but you know what? It’s not a negative thing. Doctor Who has always been a part of my life and always will be a part of my life. Sometimes I love it intensely and other times I love it from afar. I’m still grateful for everything Doctor Who has brought me. Here’s to the next 500 years.

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JAMIE BECKWITH

The latest issue (as well as all back issues!) of The Terrible Zodin can be downloaded from http://doctorwhottz.blogspot.co.uk/ 22

Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16

Face To Face; Interviews Across Time and Space, Volume 1: The Classic Series, by Eddie McGuigan To frequenters of online forums Eddie McGuigan is a prominent figure; the creator of Outpost Skaro, a man never afraid to speak his mind and often criticised for doing so. As a man often quoted, and misquoted, himself by others, his book Face To Face (published by Obverse Books) is an interesting miscellany that has possibly now been outdone by Toby Hadoke’s Who’s Round podcasts. The book is a collection of quotes and selected comments from interviews undertaken by Eddie with various people involved with Doctor Who during its original run between 1963 to 1989, warts and all.

Actually ‘warts and all’ is a pretty fair summary of the book as a whole. Eddie doesn’t dress the book very much or take the opportunity to expand his views on the Classic series, other than the occasional prompt within the questions asked. He just records what he’s told and that’s what’s made it to the page - so much so that occasional errors from contributors are left intact or with no subtle editorial correction. And the contributions themselves are very up and down, which caused me to query the value of the book at first. For example, Carole Anne Ford has nothing new to add that we’ve not seen, read or heard elsewhere, and the same could be said for plenty of others.

But there is the odd gem here and there – who would have known it only took one weekend for Peter Purves to record an entire series of Kick Start, for example? There’s an old Jon Pertwee interview from 1994, but otherwise it’s clear the rest of them have taken place since 2006 as they refer a lot to the series having returned, commenting on David Tennant’s portrayal, how youthful Matt Smith is and whether or not he’ll manage with the role.

However with the Fourth Doctor section onwards the book really comes into its own. Tom Baker is great value, although you know full well he’s making a lot of stuff up and you only have to encounter a few interviews with him to see the same gags and yarns surfacing, or the same type of gags and yarns at least. But Eddie does ask a few probing questions that add a little to what and who Baker is beneath all the tall tales and it’s great to see him talking about The Horns of Nimon and Graham Crowden. I loved reading the thoughts and backgrounds to

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 how some of the companions approached their roles, and I adored the fact that Mary Tamm wouldn’t expand on anything that was already covered in her autobiography which had recently been released – very guarded, very savvy!

Occasionally when interviews have been done in relation to certain projects or releases the contributions can feel a little unbalanced. Bob Baker, for example, is clearly being probed specifically about Underworld from the ‘Myths & Legends’ DVD box set (from where part of the Tom Baker interview also seems to stem) so perhaps a little more creative editing or narrative guidance might have been appropriate there since this is marketed as a book and not as a miscellany of interviews or articles.

Personally I found the interviews with Philip Hinchcliffe, Philip Martin, Nabil Shaban and Andrew Cartmel to be the most rewarding and engaging. I also appreciated those contributors who’ve dabbled with Big Finish and BBC Audiobooks being able to talk about that work too at the same time as their work on Classic Who – particularly Louise Jameson and Colin Baker who have probably gained the most from their characters being resurrected and sent out to play once more. The two ‘streams’ of TV and audio tend to get focussed on separately elsewhere so it adds much specific value and interest to this book.

I have one major issue with the book, though, and that’s the number of careless typos and grammatical errors there are. I read the e-book version so they may not be replicated in hard copy, but regardless I think it’s a shame that Obverse Books feel happy to put out a product in such a state and it makes me think twice about purchasing from them again. There are dropped capitals, mis-spellings (Louise Jamieson?!), incorrect words used and various grammatical faults throughout – such as using different pronouns at the start and end of sentences which confuse the reader. Is the narrative voice first person or third person? It has all the markings of a rushed endeavour, basically, hastily put together with insufficient proofreading and sense-checking. It’s not quite as bad as Mark Corrigan’s vanity published Business Secrets of The Pharaohs from Peep Show, but at times it doesn’t seem far off. This is a real shame as it devalues the product and its contribution to fan lore. It’s probably more of a criticism of the publisher than the author, but I would hope that Eddie is more cautious over this aspect when compiling volume two.

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TIM GAMBRELL http://viewsfromthesecondfloor.blogspot.co.uk WHY IS DOCTOR WHO LIKE A KITCHEN? Because it has more than one Baker working in it WHY DIDN’T THE DALEK APPLY FOR A JOB AT THE JOB CENTRE? There wasn't any temporal-shift work available HOW CAN DALEKS TELL THEMSELVES APART? Thay. Jast. Cann.

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16

Davies' Damaged Goods Almost twenty years ago, and nearly a decade before he became the man who regenerated Doctor Who on TV for a new century, Russell T Davies made his first contribution to the series in an entirely different medium. At a time when Doctor Who was off the air and being continued via the Virgin book ranges, a then up-and-coming Davies would write what is still his only novel for the New Adventures. Long out of print, the novel has found a new lease of life from Big Finish Productions with a new audio drama adaptation of it. How does the novel stand up and does its adaptation, written by Jonathan Morris, bring it to life in a new medium?

The time in which the novel was written was a very different world both from Davies as a writer and Doctor Who as a franchise. The series had been off the air since December 1989 but was had found a new lease on life in the form of Virgin Books range of New Adventures, featuring the ongoing adventures of the Seventh Doctor first with Ace and then with a series of new companions. Davies was an upcoming TV writer, having written the serials Dark Season and Century Falls and being on the cusp of his breakout writing jobs at the end of the 1990s. It was during this period that an interview with David Richardson, a journalist working with the magazine TV Zone who had some connections with Virgin, that led to Davies sending in a submission to Virgin and eventually being commissioned to write what would become Damaged Goods in its original novel form.

It wasn't without its difficulties though. Davies wrote the first two chapters, which he intially submitted to Virgin, in his spare time in-between other writing jobs for ITV. By the time he was commissioned, Davies was busy working on the series The Grand.

To finish the novel with the deadline, ITV affiliate Granada loaned Davies an assistant so he could find the time to write it which led to them buying the TV rights to adapt it. A potential adaptation minus the more overt Doctor Who elements, given the title The Mother War, was mooted but Davies work on the Grand and his subsequent career meant that it never got off the ground.

The novel was published in October 1996 after the airing of the Paul McGann TV Movie and after it had become clear that Virgin would lose the Doctor Who publishing license. In that

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 short time before it went out of print, the novel acquired a reputation and has become one of the most sought after Virgin novels. Why? Perhaps it's because the thing perhaps most striking about the novel is the same thing that is striking about Davies writing for the New Series: he writes great characters. There simply isn't a single badly written character in the whole book and Davies proves his ability to get a character across so simply and effectively on TV is there on the printed page as well. There's Rita, the cocaine addicted waitress we meet in chapter two for example, who appears for that single chapter but is so well defined that you almost feel like you know her by the time it's over. With his ability to do that, Davies really fleshes out the full supporting cast once the story shifts to its main setting as we're introduced to the troubled Tyler family, the ruthless and resurrected drug dealer the Capper, the old woman Mrs. Hearn who holds many secrets and the upper-class Eva Jericho who are just some of the characters we meet in the space of 263 pages. Each and every one of them is fleshed out, explored and delved into as we discover just who they are and the role they have to play in the events unfolding. The results are at times remarkable with the cliche of “characters that leap off the page� being more than applicable under the circumstances.

Then there's the setting: the Quadrant housing estate in London, 1987. It's hard not to think of it as a predecessor of sorts to the Powell Estate but it's far more than that. The Quadrant is almost a character in its own right: the seemingly ordinary hiding something extraordinary underneath. It's a place full of secrets with people almost hidden away, tension hanging in the air almost continuously. The Doctor at one point sums up each of the flats found in the Quadrant as being like a fortress, an apt description of perhaps the most down to earth setting you'll ever encounter in a Doctor Who book. Yet, like he would do nearly a decade later, Davies proves that the extraordinary often lies just beneath the surface if we're willing to look for it.

What really separates Damaged Goods from the rest of Davies' Who writing is just how adult and dark it is. While the council estate setting and character situations are definitely familiar to those of us who came to know Rose Tyler and the Powell Estate, Davies handling of those familiar elements is anything but. The story revolves around drugs, something that would be a major taboo even now for the New Series, with emphasis placed on the less than sunny lives and times of those in the Quadrant with sex, expletives and violence all being front and center.

While t he social issues being explored here are familiar Davies territory, the tone of the novel isn't so much Doctor Who but that of Torchwood (especially the bleak but brilliant Children Of Earth). This is Davies doing what he never did on TV and what some are still crying out for even now: a non-family friendly Doctor Who. Yet while Davies is famous for his characters and characterizations and he creates a good sense of atmosphere, there is one fault of his that is here. The man is infamous for his plots, lack thereof and infuriating endings. The plot is an ultra-slow burner even at 263 pages with it being at times almost more of a portrait of life on a housing estate than a science fiction novel.

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 Then suddenly, with fifty or so pages left, the plot explodes and begins to rush by at an incredible pace and with elements that firmly remind us that this is in fact a Doctor Who story.

Yet by then it's almost too late to salvage the plot as the finale turns into something of an precursor to that of The Next Doctor thirteen years later. If you're looking for Davies to do a good plot to go with his characters, this isn't the place to go at all.

There's another side-effect of that focus as well. The three “main� characters of the book who are meant to be the Seventh Doctor, Chris and Roz (Adjudicators from future Earth introduced in the earlier New Adventure Original Sin) seem like supporting characters at times as the book seems to focus more on Davies' own creations. It's almost like reading a Doctor-lite story at times as, until those last fifty pages or so, the Doctor and companions seem to wander about almost aimlessly inside the novel. Yet once again Davies proves his ability to right strong characters, especially in his capturing of the seventh Doctor who comes across incredibly well when he does appear. Indeed, reading Damaged Goods felt less at times like reading a Doctor Who novel then reading that very thing Davies is often accused of turning the New Series into: a soap opera with Davies often seems swept up in his characters and their back stories at expense of anything else.

At the end of the day, Damaged Goods features all the hallmarks of Davies later writing for when the show came back both for the good and bad. Good in the form of characterizations but bad in that the plot is slow to unfold and then is over with in a flash. Yet it's also far darker than virtually anything Davies gave his in his nearly five years as show runner on the New Series. That darkness is also why Davies stopped it being amongst the ebook reprints of Wilderness Era novels that were on the BBC's website for years. It seemed likely that the novel would languish in obscurity, known to those fortunate enough to track down copies of it from its original publication.

All that changed in 2014. David Richardson, the man who had initially been responsible for getting Davies in touch with Virgin back in 1995, was by now a producer at Big Finish Productions. With the company having a long track record of Doctor Who productions behind it dating back to the 1990s and a number of adaptations of novels from the Virgin range having been produced, Richardson approached Davies with an eye to bringing the novel to life on audio. Davies readily agreed, excited to see the story being brought to life despite having barred its republication some years before. The novel was adapted by writer Jonathan Morris into a two hour story told across two CDs and was released (both in a standalone edition and in a limited edition alongside an adaptation of Gareth Roberts Fourth Doctor novel The Well Mannered War) in April 2015.

How well did it turn out though? Quite well actually. Morris not only keeps much of Davies original dialogue and plot while also managing to work some of Davies wonderful prose into the script as well. The novel's haunting opening pages is wonderfully transformed into a monologue that opens the first disc with the character of Bev Tyler relating events instead. It's

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 also wonderful to hear Sylvester McCoy actually saying the dialogue Davies wrote way back in the 1990s and Morris keeps some of the best Doctor moments from the novel in place such as sequence where the Doctor explains why the Quadrant (the housing estate where much of the story takes place) is like a series of little fortresses. Morris also does a wonderful hob of fixing one of the main issues I personally had with the novel which is putting the TARDIS crew at the center of events rather than having them as supporting characters for much of the story's length. The result being that this particular version of Damaged Goods works even better than the original did.

Perhaps more surprising is how faithful to the original novel it is where tone is concerned, given that the novel feels more like Torchwood than Doctor Who most of the time. As mentioned earlier, everything revolves around drugs and family secrets playing out on a 1980s London housing estate and this version doesn't shy away from that. A particular drug, and what is lurking within it, is still at the heart of the tale though the fictional drug Smile is substituted for the cocaine that was in the original though it isn't hard to read between the lines.

Much of the violence and body horror of the novel is here as well, perhaps made even worse because of what can be managed on audio where everything is left to the imagination of the listener. While some of the darkness is toned down to a certain extent, and much of the more explicit language is deleted, the essence and feeling is still there and the main body of the story isn't effected. The result is that one can still get the flavor of the original novel from listening to this.

There's some changes of course. Morris streamlines much of Davies plot, which given how sparse the plot of the novel as isn't a bad thing. The character of Eva Jericho, and especially what causes her actions, is simplified a bit which isn't a bad thing given that the running time restrictions and the fact the audio couldn't easily do the appendices that Davies put into his original novel. Two of the biggest changes though revolve around elements that were part of the arc that was running in the novels at the time which, due to the other novels not being adapted, are replaced with something that those familiar with Davies work on the New Series will undoubtedly recognize (and, like me, will likely punch the air when they hear them).

There's also some altering of the ending as well a bit with some changes to exactly who survives at the end (apparently done at Davies own request based on the recent Doctor Who

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 Magazine article about the story) which does make it end of a slightly better note. None of which hurts at all.

Morris adaptation is just one part of what makes this work so well. A large chunk of it is the performances. It's wonderful to hear McCoy bringing this slightly darker version of the Seventh Doctor to life and there's moments, such as the aforementioned conversation about the Quadrant, which he just does beautifully. This release is also the audio debut of novel range companions Chris and Roz, played by Travis Oliver and Yasmin Bannerman respectively, both of whom are brought to life wonderfully. There's a very strong supporting cast with the various members of this particular Tyler family (Michelle Collins as the mum Wendy, Georgie Fuller as Bev and Tayler Marshall as Gabriel) being standouts. Denise Black has the unenviable task of bring Eva Jericho, a character that is brilliantly written but so easy to play wrongly as a simply insane woman, to life and rises to the challenge splendidly. The one sour-note in the supporting cast is Daniel Brocklebank as David who perhaps overplays one important, defining part of that character to the point of being cringe worthy at times. On the whole though, it's a superb cast.

Last, but certainly not least given that this is an audio production, is the sound design and music. Big Finish stories always standout in this category, not matter how good or bad other elements might be but Damaged Goods especially excels. Howard Carter does an excellent job bringing the Quadrant and the less fashionable side of 1980s London to life here which, when combined with the score and a glorious new version of the Doctor Who Theme, gives the entire two hour production a real cinematic feeling. It's one of the best post-production jobs Big Finish has done to date on any production which, given the high standards of the company's output, is saying something.

Damaged Goods, both in prose and on audio, remains an interesting curiosity. It's Davies only Doctor Who novel and it presents a far darker take on the series than the man ever gave viewers during his five years as showrunner. The novel isn't without its faults though and that's what makes the Big Finish version all the more remarkable. Not only is it faithful to it by and large, in adapting it for a different medium it also streamlines it and becomes a rare case of an adaptation improving upon the original source material. In both cases, it's an interesting look at where Davies got his start in relation to the series and to see the seeds of where the New Series would take root. For no other reason, Damaged Goods remains a story unique and sought after by fans new and old and well worth either a read or listen. •

MATTHEW KRESAL

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16

A Step Back In Time

I recently stumbled upon a couple of short articles I had written in 2008 and 2009 about RTD and David Tennant leaving, as well as Steven Moffat and Matt Smith joining the show. I’ve left them unedited (sorry editor) just to preserve the feelings that drove me to write them (it’s okay, gives me less work to do – Ed). They aren’t the most detailed and analytical of articles, there are many errors and spelling mistakes, but I think it still offers an interesting read, if you take into account the passage of time and what has become of the show since. I know I’m a better writer now and dragging these up from the depths has helped me to realise that!

Funny how times change.

Cheers Russell, Welcome Steven st

Wednesday 21 May 2008 We knew the time had to come but it was a little bit of a shock when the BBC announced that Doctor Who producer, Russell T Davies (or RTD, if you’re just lazy) was bowing out, after the 2009 specials. Whether this was an actual leak or a ‘tactical leak’ by the Doctor Who team, we don’t know. However, the man taking over is Steven Moffat who has written the episodes The Empty Child/Doctor Dances, The Girl in the Fireplace, Blink and the forthcoming Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead.

Whether or not you liked RTD or not is irrelevant, even his biggest critics can’t really deny that he has done a superb job in bringing the show back. I don’t think anyone

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 would have done any better than RTD and it’s his great ability to surround himself with the right people that have made the show a success.

His writing at times has been controversial. The much talked about ‘Gay Agenda’ is a sticking point, as his apparent fixation with making The Doctor ‘a god’. Some fans are also disappointed that he has made The Doctor some kind of loathrio, something which you’ll never link with William Hartnell’s doctor!

For me, RTD’s best episode has been the perfect opener – Rose. He maintained that quality with the final two episodes of both series 1 and 2. The casting of Christopher Eccelston, David Tennant, Billie Piper, John Barrowman, Freema Agyeman and Catherine Tate and many of the supporting cast, have been inspired. However, his best introduction was that of the ‘story arcs’. How shocked and surprised was we, to see that the whole of the series was linked! He’s maintained this and fans now expect the twists and turns that Doctor Who has produced these last couple of years! And despite many people trying to spoil it for us, we are always surprised!

Even in this new age of technology, RTD as still stuck to the same basic formula that has made Doctor Who a success over the last 40-odd years. A CGI effect later and we are a world away from the 60’s. But Doctor Who has never been fancy and doesn’t go overboard on special effects and that is another reason why our program is so brilliant.

RTD will go down in television history as the man who made Doctor Who great again.

Our favourite program as never been as popular. Now the torch has been passed on to Steven Moffat, a talented writer who has written television hits such as ‘Press Gang’, ‘Coupling’ and more recently ‘Jekyll’. Soon he will be working with Stephen Spielberg on ‘Tin-Tin’.

He is already popular with fans and his appointment has been met with great apprehension. Let’s hope that he can continue what has been a fantastic start to the new era of Doctor Who. Cheers Russell, Welcome Steven David Tennant – Thank-you! th

Wednesday 29 October 2008 It’s with a little bit of sadness and shock that I write about the announcement that David Tennant will quit his role as The Doctor after the 2009 specials. It was always something that was going to happen but it was rather a shock when he announced it at the National Television Awards, where he picked up the award for best actor.

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 David has been a great servant to Doctor Who, even outside of filming, he has been promoting the show tirelessly and always has time for the fans. And that’s because he’s a fan himself!

It was 2005 and David Tennant burst onto the scene in the BBC Three drama – Casanova, written by Russell T Davies. His portrayal of the famous character was absolutely fantastic and that probably secured his dream role to play the Timelord he had religiously watched as a lad.

Rumours have been circulating that Tennant was always going to succeed Christopher Eccleston after the 2005 series. I suppose with the main members of the Doctor Who team, cutting their ties with the show after 2009, we will find out the truth behind the goings on in that first series.

Fast forward to June 2005 and we had known for months that the revived series was going to lose its Doctor. The production team were furious the news got out and since then they have fought to keep the programme’s plots a secret. But not many fans expected David Tennant to appear at the end of ‘The Parting of the Ways’ as the newly regenerated Doctor! It was a nice surprise, the first of many!

From his 10 seconds on series 1, David took the role on and became, arguably, the most popular Doctor ever. Women love him, men love and want to be him and he turned out to be a stalkers dream! But fair play to him, he stuck with it and handed in superb performance after superb performance.

Now I’m not a massive fan of his first series but the final two episodes of the 2006 jaunt where quite simply some of the best ‘Who’ ever. David had finally settled into his cheeky, geeky and quite brilliant characterisation of The Doctor and from then on – it was bliss. His chemistry with other cast members is always fun to watch and even his little quirks, which he brings to the role, are done very well.

However one thing that could be missed though, is his influence on the programme itself. He had recommended many things for his character to do and even had a say in a couple of casting decisions.

He has said he wants to go out on a high – well he certainly is! He still has a long year of specials to get through and that can go as slowly as possible!

Matt Smith – The Next Doctor! th

Tuesday 6 January 2009 It was a decision met with excitement and surprise as the BBC announced who would take over from the outgoing David Tennant as ‘The Doctor’ in 2010. Well, from the names being banded about nobody had said that Matt Smith would be in with a shout.

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 So low and behold, by 7pm on Saturday 3rd January 2009, everyone knew that the 26 year-old, the youngest actor to play The Doctor, would be the next man in the TARDIS. At first I was a little disappointed, I thought that his age was too young to be taken seriously as a 900 year-old Timelord, but boy I cheered up when the man himself was interviewed!

No disrespect to Matt but he just looks and sounds weird! Not bad weird but brilliant, fantastic, superbly weird – just what The Doctor should be like! I personally think he’ll be great, its just unfortunate that we have to wait a year to find out!

In the interview he stated that he had six months to learn the history of the show and to create his own character. It was pleasing to see him talk so passionately about the role and I was left wondering what direction the show is going in. Rumours suggest that the new head writer, Steven Moffat, may take the show back to a mysterious and dark tone. That’ll be great but I would prefer it to be like the mid-Tom Baker era rather than the Sylvester McCoy era, which is the one that has been rumoured!

I think it’s fair to say that Matt isn’t the most famous of actors. He is just at the start of what could be a great career. I just hope that Moffat has tied him to a long contract because we are running out of Doctors! If you want to check out his work, then he has starred with Billie Piper in the two Sally Lockhart stories, ‘Ruby in the Smoke’ and ‘Shadow in the North’ as well as an episode in series one of ‘Secret Diary of a Call Girl’. But he is perhaps best known as one of the leads in the political series ‘Party Animals’.

Whatever happens, I for one can’t wait! Well done Matt and good luck!

•

CYBER COLIN

P.S. I wonder what it’ll be like when we look back on our thoughts on the Peter Capaldi era in 7 years time!

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16

Why Doctor Who is Important Part 1408: Understanding Time Travel I have friends. Not many, but I have actual human friends.

The other day the brother of one of these Human friends got us free tickets to go and see Terminator: Genesys starring former Doctor Who Matt Smith. For all of 3 minutes. I thought the film was fine; obviously it was never going to be the masterpiece that the first two films were, but I didn’t think it was terrible either - just a decent watch for anyone with a passing interest in Science Fiction.

Reading online reviews afterwards, I saw one common comment from critics and fans alike: I didn’t understand it. Well, I don’t understand why you didn’t understand it. Film critics who can somehow decipher a French-language film about a woman, a loaf and a smashed LP, can’t seem to understand a relatively-straightforward time travel plot?

Without going much into the finer details (not because I don’t understand it – I don’t want to spoil it!) – the basic plot is that a future Skynet has sent a Terminator further back in time than 1984 (the time of the first film) to wipe out their failures from previous films. Similarly, someone else (from an unknown time) has found out and sent a captured terminator to counteract it.

Still with me? Good.

All of that means that the original timeline from the movies will be wiped out – but the team from the original 2029 that sent Kyle Reese back to 1984 obviously don’t know anything about the mystery Terminator yet as they send Kyle back. Kyle arrives, history has changed – he’s confused as to why everything isn’t what he expected it to be. It really is as simple as that. Kyle exists because he’s from a different timeline, that timeline won’t exist now, meaning that he’s an anomaly. The rest is just new plot, purely designed to set up a new series of films when we’ll find out who the ‘mystery person’ who sent the Terminator back was. If the studios don’t get cheesed off with the lack of profit they expected the film to make, of course.

Then I realised – Doctor Who had done this to me. What I’ve just written probably won’t make sense to anyone who isn’t experienced in watching stories with time travel in, just as I’m not experienced in watching French-language films about women doing funny things with bread. All these years of Doctor Who containing convoluted plot after convoluted plot has helped me

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 understand the stories about time travel and I’m able to laugh at something like this, perhaps more arrogantly than I really intend. If you’re an avid watcher of Doctor Who, this film really IS simple to understand though and whether the ‘not understanding effect’ is because of a lack of Doctor Who in people’s lives, or media in general that we consume being dumbed down, not allowing us to exercise our brains, is open to your interpretation. Rather than rubbish Terminator: Genesys for ripping up the story, I think they should be given a little credit for trying to take it in a new direction and not just going back and remaking it from scratch. Although they should have really left it alone after Judgement Day, they were never going to. It makes too much money.

At least the film provides another reason why Doctor Who is better than anything Hollywood can come up with – and why it should NEVER be made into a film.

Imagine all the moaning about ‘not being able to understand it’...

•

ARTHUR ORSE

Hots and Nots The return of the Doctor Who fandom style guide that has been described as ‘slightly disappointing’ by readers of Cosmopolitan and pretty much everyone else.

WHAT’S HOT Michelle Gomez Being clean-shaven, albeit with plasters all over your face Eating a burger for breakfast Well-written articles Peter Capaldi Goofy Rigsy Locally-owned Coffee Shops Clockwork Men Curby Toby Hadoke Cider Lollies from ice cream vans that play Colonel Bogey Live Chess Butties Doing ‘the right thing’ Robin Hood No memes Danny Pink Being sick in a bin Homer Simpson Cybermats

WHAT’S NOT Selena Gomez Hipsters styling beards with product Eating cereal for dinner Lists (whoops – Ed) Peter Andre Mickey Mouse Osgood (oooh, we’ll get angry letters! – Ed) Starbucks, Cafe Nero, Costa etc Daleks Dodgeball Toby Carvery Magnums from a supermarket Foxhunting Sandwiches Doing it ‘for karma points’ Lance Armstrong Minion memes Danny Dyer Being sick on a train Peter Griffin Cyber Pollen

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 16 Shithousing

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Trolling