Inside: Series 9: Reviewed, Steven Moffat’s (Long) Goodbye, A Hitchickers-Who Marriage, A Chat With Face The Raven’s Caroline Boulton, Build-A-Companion And Much More!
Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17
Changes (Turn and Face The Strange) I had a very different editorial planned for this Issue, but as the old saying goes; all best-laid plans are usually thrown in an over-flowing bin, when bin collection day is next week. Or something along those lines. Okay, we ran out of space for it and needed a somewhat shorter one. It was rubbish anyway and need throwing in that bin. Steven Moffat’s Long Goodbye
Having just watched the majority of Series 9 again as I write this (not literally at the same time) I can safely say that the series has been the most enjoyable for me for quite a while. I love the shift to two-parters (giving stories more room to breathe, characters more lines to grow with), introducing new and innovative aspects to Doctor Who (third-person episodes/deaf actresses/trans-gender actors), as well as the over-arching theme of loss,
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telling us not to be sad that someone has gone – just be happy that they were here. It is an important lesson, lessons which Doctor Who has constantly taught us since its inception as a children’s educational programme in 1963. Whether or not you enjoyed the series, or even if you enjoy the show or not under the stewardship of Steven Moffat, I think it’s important that Doctor Who carries on being at the forefront of these things, because it’s one of very few television programmes that anyone can connect with. I mean, I’m doing this fanzine and writing drivel because of it, for goodness sake! It wasn’t really that much of a surprise to hear that Steven was relinquishing his role of ‘Head Writer/Executive Producer’, especially after hearing that the Christmas episode was believed by him to be his final one. Chris Chibnall will be coming off the back of the final series of Broadchurch, with fresh ideas and a new outlook and I think Doctor Who can only benefit from that. I started this fanzine because I was so inspired by what Steven did with his first episode of his tenure (The Eleventh Hour) so I’m both excited and slightly scared of what I might be inspired to do next! Maybe go to a convention dressed up as Peri from Planet of Fire, or something.
Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 There’s still a years’ worth of Steven Moffat to come however and with him having the ability to pull out a brilliant episode at a crucial time (I’m thinking Day of The Doctor here) I’m confident that he’ll go out on top form. I just hope Peter Capaldi stays on, because I’m not quite ready to lose him just yet... We need you! Very much like Steven Moffat (!), we’ve been racking up 6 years worth of halfdecent episodes and we’re pleased to have kept to our philosophy of being honest, inclusive and slightly shabby, giving those Doctor Who fans on the internet a medium in which to present their views in something more than a tweet or a concise forum post. Sadly, we’ve been unable to bring as many issues out as we’d have hoped recently and that’s where we need our readers to come in; with there being not much in the way of new Doctor Who in 2016, we need content. We’ll be keeping our ears to the grapevine and giving our take on any Doctor Who news that’ll
come out in 2016 and any views that you may want to contribute too, will be greatly appreciated. We’ll also be looking at the new spin-off Class, set in Coal Hill School – so why not join us in putting those pins on chairs, partaking in a choice cigar at lunchtime or chasing your mates around the changing rooms using deodorant as a flamethrower, like we did at my school? Or just be a swot and write us 500 words on it. Aside from that, I can’t stress this enough – but we’ll accept anything from you as long as it is vaguely-related to Doctor Who! We’ll give you a canvass, you paint it for us and we’ll hang it up in our ragged gallery. Have a look at all our other previous issues (which can be downloaded or read online – see our website) for some inspiration/not what to do. If you’d like to contribute please don’t hesitate to email us at fishcustardfanzine@googlemail.com Cheers, enjoy the Issue! Danny
This Issue of Fish Fingers and Custard was put together by the following half-humans: Editor: Daniel Gee Contributors: Tim Gambrell, Caroline Boulton, Max Mooney, Arthur Graeme Smith, Kieron Moore, Kaan Vural, Matthew Kresal, Steve James, Cyber Colin, Arthur Orse and The Grimm Brothers Doctor Who is ©BBC who, incidentally, will probably find that they’ll able to make good drama again now they’ve got rid of The Voice. A match made in hell. No Copyright Infringement is intended. FFAC119
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17
Nothing’s Sad Until It’s Over. Then Everything Is: Series 9 Reviewed
The Magician’s Apprentice/The Witch’s Familiar You see, if someone who knew the future pointed out a child to you and told you that child would grow up totally evil to be a ruthless dictator who would destroy millions of lives, could you then kill that child? - The Doctor, Genesis of The Daleks
Series 9, Season 35, the 2015 series of Doctor Who, whatever you call it, opens up epically. The positions of the opening shots and the ambitious CGI of swooping aircraft and laser guns may give away a Hollywood blockbuster, but what Doctor Who always has, that many Hollywood blockbusters arguably do not, is a soulful history to draw upon. History of using its premise to reflect real-world history, helping to create similar elements in our pretend-world. We open up on a battlefield, a wet and muddy landscape but something looks oddly familiar as there seems to be a clash in technologies, the soldiers shooting airplanes with bow and arrows and there’s a lost boy in the middle of it all calling for help. Who would be the person to turn up when a lost child shouts for help, in our supposed pretend-world? The Doctor. What a shocker it was then for him when this lost child turned out to be Davros, the murderous, insane creator of the Daleks, a pretend-world version of Second World War Nazis. After purposely staying away from Doctor Who news, I didn’t even realise until the boy spoke his name that this was a Dalek story! Which war is this? Just, the war.
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 The thing is, he’s an innocent child. Lost in a war that no-one remembers the cause of. A lesser script would have seen The Doctor travelling through the life of Davros, but I’m glad he didn’t. We don’t need to see what made Davros do what he did – we have all the answers just by looking at this child here. This is the sequel to Genesis of the Daleks that the series has tried to, but ultimately hasn’t, pulled off, until now. The quote spoken by The Doctor in that serial (at the top of this review) is basically the outline for this two-part story. But, as mentioned, I like that this isn’t an in-depth psychological investigation into Davros as a child, or his motivations of what he has done with his life (similar to The Doctor in last year’s Listen) it’s just a straight-up scam on his part, in order to regain his position as a supreme leader, not to mention a lesson for The Doctor to learn that changing history, even for the most excellent of reasons, isn’t the right thing to do. History has happened, it’s over, it’s how we react and learn from it that matters. I can safely say they can lay trying to do ‘another Genesis of the Daleks’ to rest now and just hope the series has something new and innovative up its sleeve for Davros and/or the Daleks’ next appearance. Drawing on what little experience I have of acting, even I know that the most vitally important thing a character piece has to pull off, is grabbing – and maintaining – the attention of the audience. I couldn’t take my eyes and ears off Julian Bleach as his Davros went from menacing to melancholy to heartbroken and back to menacing again. There were tears in his eyes in one moment, evil the next. I was that entranced by his performance, I almost burnt my chips I had cooking in the oven. He showed glimpses of what he was capable of in Journey’s End, but here he is given full reign to really flesh out his character (which is ironic seeing as his character probably doesn’t have much in the way of flesh left!) With The Doctor taking a backseat for pretty much half of the opening episode, Missy and Clara continue to impress with a somewhat bizarre, but very watchable double-act. Early on, Missy is established right away as someone that you shouldn’t get comfortable with – she laughs when people die and doesn’t think twice when she murders people to make a point. I hope she gets her comeuppance, but perhaps not yet. Judging by the end of The Witch’s Familiar, she certainly has some work to do to escape Skaro! Being a two-parter, the story is able to breathe and add context that would otherwise need to be cut out if this was just a 45-minute episode. I still maintain the believe that Victory of The Daleks would have been much better if it were a two-parter and this is the proof; this complicated stories need time to breathe. Colony Sarff, a quite terrifying new henchman, was searching the universe looking for The Doctor, which facilitated the return of the Maldovarium, Karn – and even The Shadow Proclamation (last since in 2008), just for a few minutes. It was Hollywood-like in scale! Ultimately, amongst many quotable lines, always remember this - There’s no such thing as The Doctor; I’m just a bloke in a box, telling stories. An excellent story it was to start the series, the best Dalek story since ‘Dalek’, for me. Onwards and upwards then! •
STEVE JAMES
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17
Under The Lake/Before The Flood Under The Lake/Before The Flood was as classic as modern Doctor Who can get, without using CSO or fibreglass rocks. The whole story evoked well-worn elements for me; we’re in a base under siege, (a base that is underwater and does mining, no less!) the pace of the narrative, the obvious greedy crew member being instantly unlikeable, CORRIDORS! Lots and lots of running down them for good measure – and the music. I only notice the music when it plays as another character - or is too loud – thankfully it was the former this time, as parts of it were suitably creepy in all the right places. So all-in-all, a very enjoyable adventure for me! Immediately from the cold open we’re fully on point and understand the characters – we have two parties here; the greedy company man (who’s in a group all on his own) and a group of military and industrial workers, led by Moran, who are only interested in doing their jobs as competent and safely as possible. Sadly, neither of the groups get to achieve their aims, as after inspecting a vessel they recovered from a submerged town, one of the vessel’s engines inexplicably goes off, killing Moran (Moran is played by Colin McFarlane, who is a recognisable face on British television, so it was surprise to see him killed off so early!) Later on, the rest of the crew encounter Moran again, who is with another man dressed as an undertaker, both of them looking like ghosts. Ghosts that silently mouth words and are able to pick up objects and attack them! A few days later, The Doctor and Clara arrive on the base and chaos, as it so often does, ramps up... Perhaps my favourite moments of the story was The Doctor uttering to Clara “I can save you” then proceeds to put his hand against the window as the water fills up between them, she does the same. She goes on to assure Cass and Lunn that ‘everything will be okay, because The Doctor is on the case’. Then the next time she sees him, just a few moments later, he’s a ‘ghost’, walking towards them, as his face almost presses against the glass! In stories that try to scare us with ‘jumpy’ moments or characters meeting a grizzly death, this was a somewhat more poignant, more horrific moment. Brilliant. Some people have pointed out the usage of Cass, a deaf character, was perhaps clichéd and ‘only there because of the nature of the monster’. I don’t think that’s true – the character demonstrated on a number of occasions her abilities as a leader, with her quick-thinking as she prevented Lunn from walking into the spaceship and reading the symbols, to reading people herself – her assessment of Clara was spot-on for me. If people can look beyond the obvious, maybe they’ll see more? I think that’s the point of a disabled or ‘different’ character in fiction; breaking down barriers of misunderstanding. I think just writing the character off as a basic tool to move the plot along, is a misunderstanding.
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 The episode isn’t without its comedic moments – the standout being The Doctor’s cue cards. I also love the cheeky start to Before The Flood with the Bootstrap Paradox and Beethoven, as well as the guitar-overlay on the theme. Was The Doctor breaking the fourth wall? I’m not sure – but I don’t think it matters. It was an eccentric way to start the episode, but very much like a Bootstrap Paradox, it made sense in the end! I would have liked to have known more about The Fisher King (and Prentis), maybe we will in time, but I was suitably impressed with the look of the monster, I just think it would have been a more memorable villain if we had more of a back story for it. I think the death of O’Donnell was rather sad, as she was looking proactive, companion-material dare I say – and after Bennett’s initial criticism of The Doctor for basically letting it happen, nothing came of this and I must admit that was a little disappointing. As mentioned earlier, I was surprised that Colin McFarlane and similarly, Paul Kaye’s role as Prentis was restricted to an handful of lines and haunting of our heroes. Maybe that was the point? Casting these well known faces (names, in Paul Kaye’s case – as he was under heavy makeup. I think) only to see them killed off without else much to do but silent haunting, surprising us viewers? Overall, a very-well constructed story with plenty of scares, likeable (and unlikeable!) characters and a few fun bits thrown in. I think that’s Doctor Who in a nutshell, personally! •
CYBER COLIN
The Girl Who Died/The Woman Who Lived Heaven Sent may be winning all the plaudits at the moment, but for my money The Girl Who Died is the best story of Series 9. It’s not hard to see why one would get recognition the other doesn’t. Heaven Sent attempted Doctor Who’s first one-man show ever; The Girl Who Died’s big draw was that it had that girl from that show we all pretend to like. One has a non-linear plot, a chilling and unstoppable monster and a timescale of billions of years; the other has chibi robots attacking a cut-price Viking pastiche. This seems to be an episode doomed to go down in Doctor Who history as “all right”. But the fact remains: as the electronic sting played and the credits rolled, I couldn’t escape the feeling that I’d just watched a masterpiece. Yes, the Doctor’s method of saving the day is pretty cheesy (though no more so than his defeat of the Silence in Day of the Moon). But look deeper. This is a story about challenging false gods - and for once, the Doctor himself is one of them. This is a story which questions the Doctor - really questions him, rather than just throwing tragedy at him. In any other episode, the Doctor’s underhanded tactics would be accepted as clever and heroic. Here, from the pre-credits sequence, he has to defend himself - explaining to Clara why he
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 can’t simply destroy the bad guys, trying to convince the Vikings to run away, admitting to Clara that he has no better solution than to lead defenseless villagers into outright slaughter. The lynchpin of all of this is his conversation in the barn with Ashildr, one of the most effective bits of drama the show has seen for years. The whole scene is rich in subtext - look at how they both admire each other and yet despise one another at the same time: the Doctor’s condescending attitude towards Ashildr’s storytelling and bravery, Ashildr’s quiet defiance of his cowardice and loneliness. Heaven Sent can pretend that having the Doctor walk around a castle alone was experimental - but in a children’s show, to call our hero a coward is something that bites much deeper. Suddenly this isn’t just a fun little romp any more. It’s not just about the value of friendship or the power of cleverness, but about facing death and staying true to ourselves. It might have been insufferable if the whole thing felt like doom-laden melodrama, but the episode chooses instead to deliver its themes through comedy. The Doctor playing drill sergeant with the Vikings is laugh-out-loud funny in places, and what keeps it funny is that no-one’s joking! This is something that gets lost so often in comedy scripts: real, organic humor doesn’t come from people trying to be witty all the time, it springs naturally from people taking themselves seriously. The Vikings genuinely want to live up to the warrior standard they’re so clearly ill-suited for, and the Doctor genuinely wants to help these people even though he thinks they’re losers. Simple. Brilliant. Oh, and that final shot. It’s astonishing, of course. It’s unearthly, beautiful, and utterly terrifying. The show has dealt with vast timescales before, but never has it summarized the feeling of centuries washing over you as simply or as effectively as this. In the last moments of the story, we witness the birth of a new immortal, with the promise of incredible things to come. Instead we get The Woman Who Lived, which is…ah. I’m inclined to be forgiving of this episode. It’s asking for trouble to follow up a script co-authored by two of the show’s best writers, for one thing. And a lot of it succeeds, in spite of its flaws. The meat of the episode is centered around understanding how Ashildr has coped with her immortality, and that material is on par with some of the best bits in The Girl Who Died. There’s a motif of having her life story counterpoint the Doctor’s own - like the Doctor, she gains and loses family, learns skills beyond ordinary humans, and finds herself living throughout different periods of history. Her library is a pleasing inversion of the TARDIS concept (Ashildr is almost literally “bigger on the outside”). Her pleasant indifference to the emotions of mortals and her descent into hedonism are fabulously characterized… …which is why it’s such a shame that the episode has to reverse it in the climax. It might have been believable coming at the climax of a longer arc, but at this point we’ve only known the Lady Me for
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 half an hour and the way she regains her compassion is unforgivably rushed. Even Maisie Williams, who delivers a flawless performance from the word go, is visibly uncomfortable delivering the lines she’s supposed to utter to get the main conflict to end. And that’s the problem, really - the episode is clearly having fun when it’s examining Me’s personality, but at a certain point the need for a plot rears its head and the attempt is decidedly unenthusiastic. The highwayman story and Me don’t really mesh well at all, which makes me wonder if combining them was a relatively late addition in the planning phase. This wouldn’t be a problem if the highwayman story was vaguely interesting; instead it just drags the whole way through, and it’s never as watchable as the Vikings-versus-robots concept. There’s never any real sense of danger: look at that the back-and-forth disarming between Sam Swift and the Knightmare and watch the tension evaporate before your eyes. In direct contrast to the previous episode, we now have characters who are actively trying to be funny - and the result, of course, is usually pretty lame. What this really needed was a mystery plot, possibly relating to Me’s library. Something like Tooth and Claw, with the Doctor and Me forced to browse through her memories to track down an artifact or some means of fighting a monster, and uncovering more of Me’s life in the process. That would have been a better set-up for her change of perspective in the climax, too. Instead, we get a pretty by-the-numbers invasion plot that’s basically identical to the Gelth’s but less memorable. Hands up, anyone who remembers that lion guy’s name? Anyone? Still, it’s not all bad. The banter is actually pretty well-written, and at times funnier than it has any right to be given that it’s deliberately forced. The exposition of Me’s life experiences, as mentioned above, is wonderful. And there’s that conversation in the tavern between Ashildr and the Doctor, which itself has some points of interest. The Doctor’s explanation for why he can’t take Me with him speaks volumes about his insecurities about himself: just as he no longer knows his own life expectancy, he’s scared of losing perspective as he ages beyond even his own comprehension. I particularly liked that the Doctor and Me part on uncertain terms. The Doctor tends to polarize people he meets into nemeses and admirers, so to see someone who is so guarded about him is a welcome change. That palpable ambiguity between them is unlike anything we’ve seen in the series for some time, and if Me appears in future seasons it’d be fascinating to see it develop. Taken as a whole, The Girl Who Died / The Woman Who Lived is a story that asks whether godhood is something worth striving for. We see Odin, who uses his reputation for selfish gain; the Doctor, who struggles with the ethical implications of his power over death and time; and Ashildr, who strives to find meaning and purpose in a world that is losing its luster. This is a bit of a weighty and abstract concept for a casual audience, but the story makes it accessible by being a tale of wit and comedy as well as drama. At its best, it’s a story about ordinary people under extraordinary
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 circumstances, which is one of Doctor Who’s reliable standards. And although the first half is the more entertaining one, there’s strong thematic material throughout both episodes. Ultimately, this is a story that questions whether the Doctor can keep going on forever without losing sight of who he fundamentally is. It’s a question well worth asking - not just of the Doctor, but of Doctor Who itself - a show that constantly changes and yet never dies. •
KAAN VURAL
The Zygon Invasion/The Zygon Inversion I had written in my editorial last year that I didn’t want my Doctor Who to be ‘the representation of real-life events and fanfiction’ I’m not necessarily backing down on that – I meant the pressure that real-life movements bring, shouldn’t be channelled into Doctor Who at the wrong time, just for the sake of it, at the expense of telling the best story possible. But I do believe Doctor Who can and should play a part in social commentary when the time is right – and the Zygon Invasion/Inversion evokes memories of recent real-life wars and the results of which, meaning people who have been affected have nowhere to live or radical elements of society have turned to terrorism to force their beliefs on people. These are subjects that the story hits upon and it delivers some of the best dialogue in the entire history of Doctor Who, I feel. Zygon Invasion kicks off in a relatively jovial mood; this is the sequel to The Day of The Doctor that I wasn’t expecting and after apparently agreeing a ceasefire and a deal in which the Zygons would transform into humans and live peacefully on Earth, a splinter element of Zygons aren’t happy and want to ‘out’ themselves and basically take over the planet. The Doctor, who was just poncing about in his TARDIS playing guitar, receives a distress call from Osgood and goes to see the Zygon High Command; surely these ‘humans’ will be in the government? Or a high-paying job in the city? No, they’re two primary school-aged girls, with a Monster High and Cinderella backpack apiece! Apart from the chuckle it gave me, it made perfect logical sense; surely a high-profile Zygon would be sought out easily – why not have two young schoolgirls as the unassuming Zygon High Command? A decent start then. Later, Clara is taken by the Zygons (although, we don’t actually find this out immediately) and ‘Bonnie’ takes her form and tries to take out The Doctor. Before any of you purists who want their Doctor to remain asexual – I mean ‘taking out’ as in ‘killing someone as you see them as a threat’ not ‘taking out’ as in ‘taking out someone you like the look of for burger and chips’. One of my favourite films is the original Invasion of the Bodysnatchers, which is basically what the Zygons have grown into; now they apparently don’t need the original copy to live to sustain their own lives. Perhaps laying foundations for a further story? I must admit with the sense of death that’s been surrounding Clara so far this series, I was a bit worried she wouldn’t make it out alive...
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 Who isn’t apparently dead is Osgood, well, the Zygon is (or is it human?) after the events of last year’s Death In Heaven which saw a Osgood killed by Missy. I enjoyed Osgood more in this; I’ve previously felt that her original appearances were just as a ‘fan pleasing exercise’, what with her admiration of The Doctor, her outfits and generally ‘geeky’ outlook. But no, in this she had more to do and was central to the plot, showing her abilities as a UNIT scientist and even a field agent, so I was pleased with the continuing expansion of her character. The other side to UNIT, are the soldiers, as all they seemingly do is bumble around, annoying The Doctor and generally buggering things up. In all honesty, I don’t think Doctor Who has portrayed soldiers properly in the modern series and this was another example of that. Would experienced soldiers, attached to an extremely specialist unit, who also have been briefed on the capabilities of the Zygons, really be hoodwinked as easily as they were? Yes, I understand the scene in question (I’m sure you know what I’m talking about here - if you’ve seen the episode!) was designed to give them a quandary – should they take orders which they’ve taken a vow to do, or shoot someone who looks like a family member? A far better scene I feel, would see them perhaps being indecisive before the Zygons took matters into their own hands and killed them where they stood, taking the choice out of their hands which war so often does. This is a story about the futility of war – soldiers taking orders from their officers and their governments that they don’t agree with and thus being victims themselves, is a point that they could have made more of in this episode. What was written well though, was the side-story of the Zygon who didn’t want to be a part of Bonnie’s war and just wanted to be left alone. But he was left with no choice – and took his own life because of it. The story, as with every war story ever told, after all the killing, eventually sees us all around a table talking about the best solution to end the killing. Both Kate Stewart and Bonnie still believe that they are in the right and both won’t back down. What do you do? Call a Doctor... Because it's always the same. When you fire that first shot, no matter how right you feel, you have no idea who's going to die. You don't know who's children are going to scream and burn. How many hearts will be broken! How many lives shattered! How much blood will spill until everybody does what they're always going to have to do from the very beginning - sit down and talk! Listen to me, listen. I just, I just want you to think. Do you know what thinking is? It's just a fancy word for changing your mind. On paper, it reads pretty good doesn’t it? That’s the problem with paper – you can’t feel it. Words are mostly spoken, that’s how you get your feelings across and Peter Capaldi took those ‘pretty good’ words and delivered such an amazing monologue that I very much doubt will be forgotten by those who saw and felt it. And do you know what you do with all that pain? Shall I tell you where you put it? You hold it tight, ‘til it burns your hand. And you say this - no one else will ever have to live like this. No one else will ever have to feel this pain. Not on my watch. A remarkable finish to a remarkable speech from Capaldi. The way he looks and sounds when he delivers it convinces me this is a clip from a documentary, not a fictional television drama with aliens. Ultimately, this story acts as a lesson for us, a lesson which I’ll be certainly listening to and I hope you will too. I enjoyed this story as a whole, it isn’t perfect, but I think that’s the point. Who is perfect? We all make mistakes, we all upset people, the difference is how we can learn not to do it again. I think that applies to most things, as well as war. Just have a think. •
DANIEL GEE
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 Sleep No More Let's be honest: Sleep No More isn't the favorite episode from Series Nine. For example, I'm aware that it came in last place in a poll of my fellow writers on Warped Factor (which is a site covering all things geek that I contribute to). Why is that I wonder? Partially it's the format. For the first time in the show's history it dumped doing an opening title sequence in favor of doing something far different. This episode would be done in the style of “found footage”, a genre that has proven quite popular with horror films including The Blair Witch Project, Cloverfield and Paranormal Activity. Doctor Who throughout its long history has shown an ability to take other genres and meld them to its own purposes from Quatermass and James Bond influences in the Pertwee era to space operas in the case of Frontier In Space and the Death Comes To Time webcast. The genre though has always proven to be a divisive one so that could account for a lot of the reaction towards the episode which is a shame because it does some rather neat things with the idea. What Gatiss does on a script level is take the found footage idea and combine with a hallmark from the show's long history: the base under siege story. Indeed the best of looking at Sleep No More is to view it as a rather interesting take on that sub-genre, especially from the Troughton era. It's very easy to imagine this being done in a slightly different style back in the late 1960s or as part of Big Finish's recent series of audios set during that era. Substitute Capaldi's Doctor with Troughton and Clara for one of the female companions of the era such as Wendy Padbury's Zoe. It's an inversion of one of Doctor Who's core storytelling formats and one that brings it right up to date with the 21st century. I for one am very skeptical of the entire “found footage” genre. It's usually a good excuse not to spend much money on a film or get well known actors in with often with mixed results (see the aforementioned Cloverfield). Films in the genre often also raise an intriguing question that is never answered: just who and why did they put the footage together? The 2011 film Apollo 18, supposedly about a secret 1970s era NASA mission to the moon, ends with the entire crew dying and makes one wonder just how the footage made it back to Earth to be edited together. Gatiss gets around this in a way that's rather clever and that works within both the standards of Doctor Who and the genre its working from to create one of the most unexpected cliffhangers the show has given us in recent memory. In terms of production, it's one that works rather well. It's clear that a lot of attention was paid to doing the point of view shots that make up so much of the episode correctly but also in a way that's believable. Yet it also avoids the clichéd shaking camera distorting the picture (something which also ties in with the explanation as to who or what has put the footage together). The cast is solid as well from Reece Shearsmith's Rassmussen who appears in and acts as a chorus for the tale right up to the various Asian members of the team sent to investigate in a rather interesting update of the all-white and English teams who
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 usually shop up in such tales (seen as recently as the previous seasons Kill The Moon). Capaldi is on fine form as the Doctor here including some effective moments as he realizes what's recording the images and his reciting of a speech from Shakespeare's Scottish Play that gives the episode its title. Which isn't to say that the episode isn't without its faults or that other fan criticisms aren't valid. The episode very clearly reuses the base set from the season's earlier base under siege style tale Under the Lake/Before the Flood which gives it a low budget feel, as does the very claustrophobic feel of the story which lacks many shots of the station that's meant to be in orbit above Neptune. Then there's the matter of the monsters at the episode's heart which, no matter how well they may or may nor be presented, is ultimately a rather daft notion. The Sandmen (as a concept at least) have to rank alongside the drawing creatures and the Abzorbaloff from nearly a decade ago as amongst the worst Doctor Who monsters concepts. Yet, despite a somewhat daft idea for a monster and the found footage gimmick, Sleep No More is actually better than some reviewers would have it. It's Gatiss as a writer doing a Troughton-era base under siege story with quite a bit of atmosphere from the decision to use the found footage gimmick. Even better, it solves one of the biggest problems of that genre is a way that's both unexpected and imagining. Above all else, it's Doctor Who doing what it's always tried to do: take something and do it differently. It may not always succeed in doing it brilliantly but it's interesting nevertheless. •
MATTHEW KRESAL
Face The Raven There comes a point in the life of most of the Doctor’s travelling companions since 2005 when they’ve become too comfortable, they’ve lost the sense of absolute wonder and the Doctor / companion partnership is a seemingly unbeatable team. There’s a cockiness, a supreme confidence in the life that they are leading. Rose, Donna and Amy have all shown this before, and it all foreshadowed a massive fall. The same is true here for Clara. I have admired Jenna Coleman’s performances on numerous occasions, but I will freely admit that I’ve found the character of Clara to be very generic: A.N. Companion who will be and do whatever the story requires of her that week. After she jumped back through The Doctor’s timeline in The Name of The Doctor I don’t really see that she’s had a defined role or personality and for me that would have been the perfect time for Clara to leave. But, character niggles aside I have really enjoyed Jenna’s performances, her energy and the emotional weight she has brought to the programme. Face The Raven is, then, an episode tailored perfectly for Clara to exit: she is simply insufferable. She hangs from the hovering TARDIS by her feet with no sense of danger, only thrill; she takes the Chronolock from Rigsy without telling anyone else or understanding the full consequences and finds
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 herself hoist by her own petard – one kind act of supreme confidence too many. Like Adric before her. I like that. I like that a lot. The episode doesn’t try to do too much, it’s comfortably plotted and comfortably paced; there’s a mystery, an investigation, an explanation, then further mysteries and investigations and so on. The concept of a hidden street asylum in the heart of London is intriguing. Yes it’s a bit Neverwhere, a bit Harry Potter – but that doesn’t matter and the episode is not derivative in any way. One thing’s for sure – the feeling that we’re not being given the full story pervades throughout and as soon as we see the supposedly dead Anah held in suspension we start to think ‘set-up’ or possibly ‘trap’. What the gentler pacing does is allow performances to shine - and there are indeed strong performances to watch. I have seen Maisie Williams criticised often for making Me / Ashildr wooden in her Series 9 appearances. I’d argue those critics aren’t watching her closely enough, they’re not listening to what she’s saying because it’s all there, it’s just not writ large. Joivan Wade is excellent as Rigsy, making a welcome return and giving anyone who needs it (such as me!) a reminder to revisit 2014’s Flatline. Both Capaldi and Coleman are solid here, as throughout the series. I’d like to have said that they rose to the challenge of the episode – but I think that would be doing them a total disservice; neither of them gave less than 100% at any time in my view. Beneath them there is a capable ensemble of cameo monsters and supporting characters, including a lovely turn from Robin Soans in a marked contrast to his bumbling Consul Luvic from The Keeper of Traken. Although I don’t think that the hidden London street setting is derivative, there are certain limitations which common sense dictates in its realisation. A concealed street that’s been there for hundreds of years won’t have been updated and re-developed in the same way as the surrounding area, so you end up with a look and feel that most of us these days associate with Dickensian tales, with some steampunk trappings mixed in to give it that extra-terrestrial style. Justin Molotnikov is a new director to the programme this series and he’s had a bit of a baptism of fire. I think he handled the character-driven Face The Raven more successfully than Sleep No More, which failed to create the atmosphere of fear and desperation that Gatiss’ script tried hard to engender. If he doesn’t return again I wouldn’t feel the programme has lost anyone particularly special, but I wouldn’t object to seeing him try another character-driven episode. As Clara faced certain death and tried to control the Doctor’s histrionics it underlined in some ways my issues with the character itself: she mentions Danny Pink (a relationship I was never convinced by on screen) and she echoes her line to Matt Smith’s Doctor from The Day of The Doctor about being a Doctor, not a warrior. But what about her life outside that arena? The family we’ve seen occasionally - do they not now exist or matter? How will they know she has died? Little touches that can really make the difference and, to quote Cardinal Borusa ‘add verisimilitude’. But that’s the character. Jenna Coleman herself gives her all for those final few minutes and it becomes as powerful a character exit as any we’ve seen in the programme’s history. The massive ‘TO BE CONTINUED’ suggests, though, that this isn’t the end, merely the start of the finale. Cynical me said at the time that I was expecting Clara to appear again in the following two weeks in one aspect of another. But that’s for someone else to talk about… •
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TIM GAMBRELL
Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17
A Chat With Face The Raven’s Caroline Boulton Aside from his review, Tim Gambrell got to speak to actor Caroline Boulton, who played the ‘Habrian Woman’ in Face The Raven. Caroline gives us an insight into her experience filming on Doctor Who, in arguably one of the most emotional episodes of recent years. TV work is very fast paced so you generally only ever do one rehearsal on set for camera then shoot it straight after that but I’m quite used to that pace now thankfully. Am I right in assuming you only got the script for the scene you were in and not the whole episode? No, I got to read the whole script so I could see how my character fitted into the episode. So, Caroline – hello and thanks for agreeing to do a little Q&A with us here at Fish Fingers and Custard. Thank you for chatting to me! Firstly congratulations on getting a part on Doctor Who, and in such a historic episode too. Did you have to go to a casting for it or did it land in your lap from other work you’ve done? I went along to meet the lovely Doctor Who casting team and had a lot of fun with the character in that casting session. I was filming overseas on Tyrant for FOX the day before my meeting in London so I was honestly completely knackered as I had filmed all day then had no sleep to fly back in time. I had an illegal amount of coffee that day but it was totally worth it of course! Did you get any rehearsal time at all, or was it straight in and on camera?
Nice! So what did you think of the episode as a whole when you finally got to see it? I really loved the way Clara’s death was handled, it was so poetic and beautiful and she was so courageous once she knew her fate was sealed. A show like this needs the dark side sometimes, it helps with the light. So you normally watch Doctor Who anyway then? Of course! Who doesn’t?! It’s a brilliantly inventive show and I’ve watched it since I was a child - and I’m still afraid of the Daleks! So what did you think of the rest of the season overall? It was quite heavily commented on as being too dark and adult in tone, not being suitable for children anymore. I think Face The Raven probably reflected that, featuring the death of the co-lead.
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 Yes, this season was quite dark, but I think that’s really needed sometimes with a show of this length and history; it adds depth and range and allows it a new space to grow in creatively.
included for all characters no matter how much they’re used. So how long was your filming? Do you know if they’re likely to include any of your excised footage as an extended scene on the DVD boxset?
Did you get much in the way of character guidance? I know in the final cut you weren’t on screen for too long but we know the production team are pretty meticulous in their attention to detail.
We filmed over quite a few days and I would love it if my other scenes made it onto the DVD! Fingers crossed.
The director Justin [Molotnikov] is so experienced so gave me his thoughts on how to play her in the rehearsals. A lot of the character is right there is the script from the writers, as an actor you’ve just got to find the clues. And did you get to meet anyone else in the cast? I did get to meet them, yes. So what were they like? They are all just as lovely as they seem! OK – intriguing! We didn’t get to see very much of you, unfortunately. Can you tell us a little bit about what your character ‘look’ was like, in case any detail was lost to us in the final edit? As my character was a new breed of alien to the show the costume designers could create a whole new look from scratch, a modern but other worldly blue alien style. The writer Sarah Dollard described the Habrian as “She was blue, with a mouth full of sharp teeth. A warrior”. The teeth were pretty amazing. I missed the teeth myself, but it’s a mark of how much thought and effort goes into the programme that these kinds of details are
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Have you got any anecdotes about the episode you’d be happy to share with us? On day one of filming I walked in to the make up truck just as a Janus - the double headed monster - was sitting in a chair and it totally scared the crap out of me, much to everyone else’s amusement! Newbie alert. Excellent! Ok, just so you don’t think we’re completely Who-myopic, can we talk a little more widely about your work? You’ve been working pretty solidly and extensively over the last few years. Is TV your preferred medium? I think so yes, TV has just come so far in the last few years in terms of studio investment. People sometimes used to think of it as the feature films poor relative but the mini-series is where it’s at now. But I love working so I’m just always grateful to work in any format. What projects have you been most proud of so far, and what would you recommend the FFC readers check out? I’ve just wrapped on the TV series Emerald City for NBC which is a new ten part adaptation of the classic and it’s honestly amazing. The sets and costume are insane. It’s going to be pretty cool. I loved working on Dracula too (also for NBC) it was such a dark stylish version of the book and a new twist on his story.
Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 So what made you want to become an actor in the first place?
Who do you admire within the entertainment industry at the moment?
I became an actor entirely because I like making people laugh. That and I was a pretty terrible waitress.
I’m loving Amy Schumer and Tiny Fey. I’m a tiny bit obsessed with comedy so love both of them for developing their own projects.
I see... And what’s the WORST thing you’ve done so far?
Any up and coming projects you’d like to share with us or plug?
The worst thing is probably all the terrible castings I have done for jobs I (unsurprisingly) didn’t get. I once had to freestyle some contemporary dance to techno music for a Swedish commercial. I looked like a drunk windmill and even the casting director was crying from laughing and said they should put it on YouTube. I am not good at freestyle dancing.
I’m about to start shooting the lead in an intensely creepy horror feature film called The Basement where I’m going to have to deal with a lot of spiders. I also worked on the historical feature The Childhood of a Leader with Robert Pattinson. Director Brady Corbet has already won Best Director and Best Debut film awards at the Venice International Film Festival so I really can’t wait to see it when it premiers this August. Good stuff – we’ll keep an eye out. Finally Caroline, thank you so much for taking the time to talk with us. It’s always interesting to hear from people involved with Doctor Who at any level – I’m sure all our readers wish you every success with your future projects and maybe we’ll even get a chance to find out more about the Habrian Woman – who knows..?! Thank you very much for having me and being so interested in all my screen work, its been my absolute pleasure!
Who have you most enjoyed working with so far and why? I really loved being directed by Brett Ratner on the feature film Hercules, he’s a perfectionist so he will really push you as an actor till its perfect which I quite like.
Thanks to Caroline (@carolineboulton) for the interview and Tim (@Mr_Brell) for conducting it! The photo opposite was taken by Jennie Scott (@HeadShotScott)
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 Heaven Sent I’m not fond of bestowing the title ‘The Best’ on something; different episodes appear at different times in our life, different eras of time and catch us in the most different of moods – it’s not just ‘episodes’ of the Doctor Who variety that I’m talking about here by the way – but you can see how this particular Doctor Who episode makes people think about those other episodes which happen during their lives. No, I can say that Heaven Sent is very comfortably in ‘The Best’ Doctor Who episode category, but I won’t say that it is THE best episode – because it’s better than that! It deserves better than a label – simply because it doesn’t need one! Because you won’t see this coming! No, I didn’t. Didn’t have the foggiest (a clue) that an episode like this was coming. Having known about the structure of the episode (The Doctor going solo) I was suitably prepared, but otherwise had no idea what that structure would be based around. Even as The Doctor is punching the wall for millions upon millions of years, I didn’t get it. Then, all of a sudden – I did, everything just fell into place and I was stunned. Very much like The Doctor when he stands at the crystal wall for the first time and realises the enormity of his situation, I realised that what was previously a decent-enough, mystery of an episode, was in-fact something special, something unique to Doctor Who and television in general. Steven Moffat, Rachael Talay (director), Will Oswald (editor) and Murray Gold (composer) pulled off something complex and brave, something that summed up Doctor Who; understated, but yet epic. It’s funny, the day you lose someone isn’t the worst - at least you’ve got something to do. It’s all the days they stay dead With the action immediately picking up from Clara’s death in Face The Raven, the episode deals with loss, how it happened, why it happened and how we bring ourselves back from it. We shouldn’t be upset that someone has gone – we should be glad they were here in the first place to contribute to our life. We learn that someone isn’t really gone, not when we still think about them; them telling us to get off our backsides and win. Whatever I do, you still won’t be there The Doctor finds himself teleported to what seems like an empty castle, empty until he realises that he’s being stalked by a walking, dead figure covered in a dirty bedsheet. Again, that is so Doctor Who! We learn that he is being tortured for information as he wanders about this maze of a castle, information about the ‘hybrid’ that we’ve been hearing so much about for the entirety of this series. I suppose this is a much-better way of trying to break down your ‘opponent’; it isn’t a violent torture, it’s slow, meandering and psychological, which is arguably worse.
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 I always imagine that I’m back in my TARDIS, showing off, telling you how I escaped, making you laugh... A massive cog in the workings of this episode, was seeing The Doctor thinking, as he ran around his own ‘safe place’ in his mind and explaining to his version of Clara (and us) of basically, what is going on. Showing us a visual representation of an alien’s mind, where he talks to his deceased friend, sounds ridiculous on paper – but it works; it makes crystal clear that he’s thinking and offers exposition without being too ham-fisted about it; squeezing in scenes that we don’t necessarily need. Get up, off your arse – and win! It was from that line that the episode just flew off on its own trajectory and glued my eyes to the screen for the next 11-or so minutes. When The Doctor realises his situation and tries to explain his feelings towards his mind’s representation of Clara, you can see how that torture has worked. It’s physically broken him as he’s sitting, defeated, at the foot of the wall and he’s only just mentally holding on by his own imagination, by the memory of his friend. Why do I keep doing this? Whoever thought such a maligned area of the body would bring so much joy? The fact that Clara said ‘Arse’ was the clinching point of The Doctor’s belief at whatever this Clara was saying, is what the actual Clara would have said if she were really here. That’s why he carried out her advice, why he was encouraged to stand back up and give the wall ‘a good hiding’, as we say in these parts. Watching, as I always do, with my Dad, he laughed when The Doctor punched the wall, not in an unkind ‘that’s ridiculous’ way, more of an admirable ‘that’s ridiculous – but what else can he do’ way. He probably didn’t realise why he laughed, but I reckon he understands deep down - the frustrations of life for us all, I’m sure, has probably seen us punching that metaphysical wall a few times. Or even a real one. What else can you do? What do you take your frustration out on, without hurting someone else? Punch that wall. Hello again. No more confessions, sorry. But I will tell you the truth... We’re treated to some gorgeous shots through the TARDIS column, as The Doctor is back explaining to ‘Clara’ (us) about what is going on. This thinking device is now paying off in a big way, as The Doctor is valiantly trying to get himself back up to the room where he appeared in, in the first place. His lines are just beautifully-written but it’s the delivery of them that got me – and shows the fine margins between them being memorable, or not; it’s all about the delivery. He sounds almost wondrous when he says “the stars (they weren’t in the wrong place”) and his face lights up, you can see that he believes he was right, he believes what he’s saying and perhaps, everything will be okay in the end. This is where aspects like the lighting and the music start to come to the fore – the switch from blue to a yellowy-white colour in the TARDIS console room, (presumably to represent The Doctor’s mind ‘rebooting’) is beautifully shot and overlaid with Murray Gold’s uplifting score, which for the first time in a long time that I’ve noticed, is just at the right volume.
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 How long can I keep doing this Clara? Burning the old me, to make a new one He pulls down the lever, but not before a delay. A delay in which you can see the pain he’s in and as he thinks ‘should I keep doing this?’ before he pulls down the lever and burns himself again and the process starts over. It’s here, now, that I see the lesson in this. This is for us. Whenever we feel like we’re banging on that wall for what seems like eternity, we can’t give up. If you think because she’s dead, I’m weak, then you understand very little... Never have I been so impressed by the usage of footage that I’ve seen before. Even though I don’t like labelling things as ‘the best’, I’m going to contradict myself here and say, this is the best piece of television editing I’ve ever seen. It starts off slow and each time we go around, it grows shorter and shorter and faster and faster as the hole in the wall grows deeper and deeper. All the while The Doctor is telling us the Grimm Brothers’ story of The Sheppard Boy. I noticed on the umpteenth watch that the edit made us see how he had punched that wall 2 billon times – but also made it look like he did it once, which of course, the last ‘him’ did do! Each time he punched the wall he seemed more determined, his voice grew louder, the punches more aggressive. I’ve since seen quotes from Rachael Talay which mentioned that the entire episode depended upon an edit, which if not done like it was, would have probably brought the entire episode down like a pack of cards. Being someone who knows very little about editing, Will Oswald’s (a coincidental surname if I ever saw one!) work taught me more about the subject than any other programme or film ever has. Coupled with Capaldi’s acting and of course, the words put down on paper by Steven Moffat, this is something that deserves praise outside the Doctor Who world we live in. I’ve even recommended it to a psychologist! Go To The City! When he finally punches his way through the wall and sees that he’s back home - I even love how he says that line. Even the Radio Times stupidly revealing that Gallifrey would return in this episode didn’t take away from my enjoyment that he was back on Gallifrey. I like that he sounds a bit threatening and dangerous to the boy who met him (of course, he was a Sheppard Boy!) but at the same time, not too unkind to the lad. Throughout the episode though, I believe the production team were leaving clues that Gallifrey was involved; the amount of hexagonal fittings in the castle (and I even noticed a Gallifreyan-type symbol on a curtain rail) but all of this was only seen by me on perhaps the fourth or fifth watch as my attention (which is hard to obtain at times) was totally focused on the episode. We like to believe that Doctor Who’s remit is to teach us things, but you can’t teach anything without attention – Heaven Sent ticked those boxes and an whole lot more. If a title of a Doctor Who story title was as apt as this one, then I’ve yet to see it! •
DANIEL GEE
Hell Bent After Face the Raven, I’d hoped Steven Moffat would let a death be a death and not bring Clara back, for fear it would ruin the impact of that ending. You know what? I take that back. I was wrong. Though ostensibly set up as an episode about the return of Gallifrey and the prophecy of the “hybrid”, Hell Bent turned out to be something different entirely – a test of the levels to which the Doctor would go to bring back a dead friend, an interrogation of the recklessness of these lengths, and a very fitting conclusion to the story of a companion who wanted to be a Doctor.
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 The return to Gallifrey is actually a great backdrop to this story – what better way to show the Doctor at his worst than by confronting him with his own race, the race from whom he ran away, now a reminder of his worst war crimes? Peter Capaldi, not for the first time this series, is electrifying as Angry Doctor – sure, he leads a coup and shoots a fellow Time Lord, but the real ‘gone too far’ moment is his “I am answerable to no one!” rage. This is a hell bent Doctor, and no Doctor can be hell bent like the Twelfth. But this episode’s not about the Doctor. It’s – like the possible solution to the hybrid mystery – about Clara and the Doctor. Though Face the Raven’s death scene was a brilliant one, Clara’s arc was about her becoming more and more like the Doctor, and so this gives us a very fitting (and much more uplifting) culmination to her story, with her saving him from his sins and simultaneously taking the opportunity to become a ‘Doctor’ herself. What's particularly brilliant is the way Moffat takes Donna’s ending from Journey’s End, which, while undoubtedly emotional, took all agency away from Catherine Tate’s character, and subverts it by allowing Clara to say no to the Doctor trying to wipe her memory – “These have been the best years of my life, and they are mine … I insist upon my past, I am entitled to that". Unlike Donna, Clara ends her story in control of her destiny. And that’s part of why her being brought back from the dead isn’t the An gels Take Manhattan-esque cop-out I feared, and doesn’t ruin the impact of Face the Raven. In fact, Face the Raven needed to be impactful for this episode’s story to work. Not only does Clara end her story in control, she ends it more mature than she was two episodes ago. She’s aware of her recklessness, having seen its consequences and stopped the Doctor from going off the rail himself. And she’s accepting of her fate, ready to go and face the raven. This isn’t a cop out – she’s still going to die on Trap Street. Why not show that death here? Well, it’s Doctor Who – there’s always time and space for a bit of optimism. Time and space to take the long way round. Out of all the endings Clara’s had (I count six now), this is the best. And I haven’t even mentioned the framing story yet. Not only does it keep us on our toes with its misdirection as to who remembers what (thus making the twist that Clara's the knowledgeable one here even more powerful), but it's also the most affecting element, largely due to its very clever use of music, surely vindicating the Doctor’s adoption of the guitar for those who weren’t yet convinced – his sad song called Clara, actually a diegetic rendition of her musical motif, is just pure brilliance. Plus, it made me laugh how the script acknowledged that there's only one American-style diner in Cardiff –"I've been here before, with Amy and Rory". What’s also deserving of praise is how, outside of the emotional backbone, Hell Bent just flows. Moffat’s finales have often been vast and epic in scale, but this one flips between genres, settings and times with a smoothness that others have been lacking – perhaps best summed up by the way the Doctor casually removes his jacket, unbuttons his waistcoat, and becomes the hero of a Western as if it’s the role he was born to play.
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 There's one thing that annoyed me, which is the return of Gallifrey being under-explained. After all we’ve had in the past ten years about it being inaccessible (and we’ve had a damn lot), the handwavey 'oh, it’s back now, sure' explanation is very light. Yes, Moffat’s right not to focus entirely on this, as the Doctor/Clara stuff is more emotionally interesting, but such a big twist for the Who universe deserves more. Equally problematic is the dropping of Gallifreyan politics mid-way through the episode – the Doctor becoming Lord President of this brutal society in which anyone living outside the Capitol 'doesn’t matter' and then simply swanning off is a bit of a dick move, and though this is acknowledged, it’s then never returned to. Who will fill the power vacuum he’s left behind? Nevertheless, as with the Zygon loose end in The Day of the Doctor, there’s always potential for another visit in a later series to work these things out…
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KIERON MOORE
The Husbands of River Song Oh for gods saaaaaaaake! came the frustrated cry. What was the complaint about? Has the Chancellor announced more cuts to vital services? Was it a cry for help from a woman in a disco, approached by yet another clumsy man with an even more boring chat-up line than the last idiot? No, not quite. No, the arguably-blasphemous retort was in response to the news that River Song, a fictional character, was returning to Doctor Who in the 2015 Christmas Special. Interestingly, in an interview I heard a few weeks prior to the broadcast of the episode, Alex Kingston stated that the character’s popularity with the fans played a huge factor in Steven Moffat bringing her back for this story. Maybe online fandom isn’t in touch with anything after all? To be frank (that’s actually not my name) I liked The Husbands of River Song. I found the hour whizzed by as the usual in-your-face Christmas themes were kept to an absolute minimum. I don’t need Doctor Who to tell me that it’s Christmas – I already know it’s Christmas. Best of all, the story didn’t have to rely on MASSIVE SET PIECES (the Cyber King for example) or any major stunt casting (Kylie Minogue – who was alright, but still a stunt casting nonetheless - for example). Like all episodes in Series 9 – it was understated, but yet packed with brilliant moments. The scene is set immediately as Matt Lucas, playing the character he seems to always play, knocking on the TARDIS and The Doctor answering with antlers on his head. A silly scene, I must admit it did have me worried that we we’re in for a Carry-On-style romp, especially knowing that River Song (a character that can go from a Christopher Marlowe play to Carry on Nurse and back again) is coming up at some point. As it turned out, the bawdiness was kept to a minimum and to be fair, everyone needed a cheering up after the events of last series, so it was a welcome addition to our journey with The Doctor! The plot was relatively-straightforward (which is very unusual for a Steven Moffat story, it has to be said) centred around River Song (now approaching the time in which she’ll be meeting The Doctor for the final time in Silence In The Library) being involved in a sham of a marriage with King
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 Hydroflax (played by Greg Davies) all because he has a priceless diamond inside of his head. A head that can be removed from his robot body! The Doctor, as always, lands himself in it when River’s assistant, Nardole (Matt Lucas) confuses him for ‘The Surgeon’ who River has hired to help to treat an injured Hyrdoflax, but in reality, to steal the diamond and seal the death of a murderous King. River is being helped in her task by another husband, the technically- proficient Ramone (Philip Rhys) who eventually finds himself a victim of the robot body later on. What I found out straight away was that there was no messing around, we went straight into the action, which I believe sets up the pace well and helps for a better control of the story. The abovementioned plot was only the background for this tale, as this is more about River’s relationship with the Twelfth Doctor – she doesn’t recognise him! Although I thought this was an interesting dynamic (and thus mirroring when The Doctor first met River in Silence In The Library) I think it should have been made more subtle – The Doctor said he was ‘The Doctor’ on a few occasions and this resourceful archaeologist still didn’t at least enquire about him? True, she produced a list of pictures with Doctors 1-11 and was under the belief that his regeneration limit would be exhausted, but still, this is The Doctor we’re talking about - she should know more than most about his ability to carry on going when things look hopeless! The ‘reveal’ of The Doctor to River was brilliant, a highlight of the episode and the moment where you can see the ignition of a spark between the two actors. The relationship between the pair, not helped by River not knowing who he was, was somewhat lacking in chemistry early on – the biggest laughs coming when River introduced ‘The Surgeon’ to the TARDIS and him (cheekily saying to us no doubt) that “Finally, it’s my go” and proceeded to marvel at how the TARDIS was bigger on the inside! Speaking of the relationship between them – on one hand it didn’t help in establishing a chemistry, but it did help to break these two unfamiliar actors in and by the end of the episode, you can see that little spark there. Whether or not we’ll see them together again, I think is unlikely, but you never know. Why do I think it’s unlikely? I think River has been clearly set up for her ‘final’ adventure, which we saw back in 2008. The ending was classy to say the least; the singing towers (who thinks of things like that?) providing a great backdrop for their last night together. When things looked hopeless for River though, she gingerly enquires how long a night on the planet lasts. “24 years” answers The Doctor and she laughs incredulously. Of course! I couldn’t help but smile too, it was a great twist to a scene that threatened to bring down this mostly-fun episode, as River knew that her diary was full and this was probably the last time they’d be together. The Husbands of River Song was an uplifting end to one story and hopefully, an uplifting start to a whole new era of stories with the Twelfth Doctor. •
DANIEL GEE
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17
I’ve Read The News Today and Oh Boy! Being perhaps too overly-keen, as well as living lives of emptiness, is what we do here at Fish Fingers and Custard. With the modern-era of Doctor Who being well into ten years of production now, we thought it’ll be interesting to see if the programme has slipped from being a tabloid favourite, to something that may be a drain on your licence fee and/or is contaminating your children with horrible things like ‘ideas’ (WILL SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!), all according to our friends in the media. For Series 9, we kept a keen eye on the news and their reaction to the series. Sadly, it was less about the many highs that the episodes brought; the brilliantly-made aspects were hidden by the majority of the news stories. So here we present another showcase highlighting why you need to be careful when experiencing your chosen news vendor.
What the headline doesn’t portray, is that The Magicians Apprentice was the TOP RATED programme on BBC One that day, also 2ndhighest across all of television. To put it simply – television in general is dropping numbers, not just Doctor Who. What’s more – this was the OVERNIGHT RATING, so it’ll be interesting to note how the FINAL RATINGS – when people who watch via catch-up mediums – are taken into account. I’d bet now that it’ll be around the average of 6-7 million that the series has regularly produced since it’s return ten years ago. The biggest disappointment with this, is the fact that it was the BBC who produced that headline. The article itself gives it a little more context, but not much more beyond revealing its ranking that night. Why are they using headlines that will only sensationalise and scaremonger, when they fully-well know that other media outlets will pick up on the information and spin it? I bet Steven Moffat was going mental and you can’t blame him. Supporters of the BBC like to tell us all that the corporation are the ‘good of the media’, but with episodes like this (no pun intended) when one of their outlets belittles one of its most popular productions, is it any wonder it’s constantly under attack for perceived incompetence? The BBC is world's largest broadcast news organisation, so if they aren’t reporting the full facts and context about one of their own properties, what else aren’t they filling us in on? Just putting that one out there... Clara Shoots Down An Airliner – 7/8th November 2015
Viewing Figures – 20th September 2015 DOCTOR WHO SEES MILLIONS DESERT OPENING EPISODE screams one media outlet. Which media outlet can this it be? One with an axe to grind against the BBC and its flagship programmes, purposely putting out bad press in order to discredit them, because they (or their owners) will benefit in the long term? It was BBC News
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The Express are jumping on the bandwagon this time, using a recent tragedy (a suspected terror plot) when a Russian airliner crashed in Egypt, killing everyone on board. Yes, of course I can understand why people would be upset over this, but it’s not like Doctor Who filmed the scene after the incident happened LAST WEEK. It was filmed nearly 6 months ago. Unlike the beheading scene in Robot of Sherwood last year, this scene couldn’t be cut because it was crucial to the episode. It was just an unfortunate coincidence – but should we keep censoring things that have nothing to do with the matter in
Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 mind, because it might upset us? Perhaps the BBC could have put up a warning? The Express, naturally, offers no defence on behalf of Doctor Who. The Mirror meanwhile, also talk about the incident, falling back on BIG HEADLINES and ploughing of tweets to present their evidence that Doctor Who is insensitive. Which is incredibly ironic. FAN FURY as Clara Oswald is brutally murdered – 22nd November 2015 Ah, the good old Daily Mail. If their news stories don’t make you smile, the comments section will. Yes, that bastion of British news went on the front foot, accusing Doctor Who of ‘terrifying young children’ as Clara was brutally hacked down in the street by a naked man, smeared in animal excrement, singing ‘I’m Every Woman’ by late-70’s pop idol Chaka Khan. Okay, that’s not true, but that was my imagination when I read the headline. I need help, I know. But at least I know. What did actually happen though? Was her death scene too horrific, too slow, too traumatic? Because I swear I saw a young woman stand up for her mistakes and responsibilities, being brave and facing a raven a metaphysical being that flew through her, leaving not one drop of blood or mangled corpse. I’m sure you’ll know by now, that Clara actually survived (still, technically dead I suppose, sort of) but the headline alone will give the most concerned of parents a conundrum whether to show their little ones the episode. This series of Doctor Who has tried to explain loss and I thought the final three episodes did that really well. Standing up for you what you believe is right, being brave and facing adversity is what everyone has to do at some point in their lives – should we let our children learn this lesson the hard way? Personally, I think it’s a good way to educate a young person into experiencing that notion. If you do have children and are concerned about the content of an episode – do yourself a favour and watch it first, think for yourself. Don’t listen to The Daily Mail – and I’ll never say this again – don’t listen to me. (Apart from the ‘think for yourself’ bit – which the Daily Mail, other newspapers and oddly, most schools, won’t tell you)
I’ll leave this particular issue with this: The same Daily Mail article has also boxed off some ‘controversial’ Steven Moffat-penned episodes for you (as a reader of the Daily Mail website) to get angry about. My favourite is this: Deep Breath (2014) - A controversial kiss The romantic encounter between lizard woman Madame Vastra and her human wife Jenny Flint raised some eyebrows in Britain and was even cut before it was screened in Asia. Yeah, because people ‘raising their eyebrows’ because they’ve seen something that is out of their usual box of thinking, is something that should be literally frowned upon. More, I hear you (probably not) saying? The Time of Angels (2010) - A controversial cartoon More than 5,000 fans complained after this episode which saw Matt Smith's Doctor Who face an army of Weeping Angels when suddenly a cartoon version of talkshow host Graham Norton was imposed onto the screen to advertise talent show Over The Rainbow. The BBC apologised. Dark Water (2014) - A controversial death This episode saw dead bodies transformed into an army of Cybermen. At one point it is
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 suggested the bodies of the dead could feel the pain of being cremated. The BBC received 118 complaints I love how the BBC got 4237% more complaints for a cartoon Graham Norton, than the Cybermen (doing what they’ve always done) which rather this whole article up as mischievous scaremongering. (Also – have you noticed the sub-headlines give away spoilers directly under a SPOILER ALERT?)
opportunity to work with a head writer other than the one who cast them, hasn’t been done by a Doctor in the new series and forget a ‘fresh start’, I think Chibnall needs familiar people around him as he embarks on the biggest job of his career so far. It’s all guesswork – Capaldi may leave – but at least I’m not trying to hoodwink you by strongly suggesting one way or the other. My favourite sentence in one of their articles (of course, there’s more than one) which demonstrates my point, is this: The show has suffered declining ratings since Moffat took over - falling from highs of 11 million to lows to 4 million - though the BBC's own audience Appreciation Index has it as one of the most highly rated in enjoyment for viewers.
Moffat Leaving, So Is Capaldi? – 25th January 2016 The Daily Mirror got terribly excited by the news of Steven Moffat leaving – by republishing an article they’ve probably done before. Their ‘BBC BOSSES’ sources, seem to think that Peter Capaldi will be heading out of the door to give Chris Chibnall a fresh run at things. As we’ve already established with The Magicians Apprentice episode – these BBC BOSSES barely communicate with each other anyway, so I can’t see Steven Moffat and the Head of Drama ringing up The Mirror from a phone box on a rainy night, disguising their voice by speaking into a pair of rolled up socks. No, quite simply, they’ve made it up. This fanzine is literally more truthful than The Daily Mirror. As if you should have doubted it. Basically whoever it is had put together the ‘scoop’ for The Mirror, just put two-and-two together without any inside knowledge, or intelligence. I hope that’ll he stay – the
For a kick-off – they’re using extremely selective FINAL RATING figures there, as aside from Rose, the first episode of ‘modern’ Doctor Who, the only other episodes since 2005 that have achieved either close to, or over their made-up figure of 11 million are CHRISTMAS SPEICALS. Secondly – the 4 million figure given are OVERNIGHT figures - no episode in Series 9 dipped below 5.5 million in their FINAL RATINGS. What’s more, as stated in the opening to this piece, NO CONTEXT has been given – ALL television is dropping figures, it’s just what is happening nowadays, with on-demand services continuing to expand. What matters is that Doctor Who is retaining a successful domestic and international viewership. The commercial aspect is still one of the BBC’s cash cows, I mean ‘success stories’. So don’t panic about Doctor Who being cancelled any time soon. Don’t be fooled by articles like these (not this one, as in mine, I’m your buddy, ‘this’ as in the ones mentioned within this article – they aren’t your buddies) they are designed to engage people (Doctor Who fans love to angrily engage things) and clicks on their website lead to increased advertising revenue. Presenting the truth is secondary for news websites, even concerning things even more important to our lives than episodes of Doctor Who. Just have a think about it. •
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ARTHUR ORSE
Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17
SOMETHING BORROWED, SOMETHING BLUE (Musings on the Uneasy Marriage of Who and Hitchhiker’s)
Douglas Adams script-edited Season 17 of Doctor Who (1979-1980) and wrote three stories for the program; four if we count Doctor Who and the Krikkitmen. One that he wanted to write but didn’t — producer Graham Williams forbade it — was The Doctor Retires, where the Doctor would grow fed up with saving the universe all the time and take himself off into seclusion, refusing to help anybody. It is unclear how Adams could have turned this premise into a season-ending six-parter. (Shada was problematic enough!) Steven Moffat touched upon it to good effect in the 2012 Christmas Special The Snowmen, but his more overt homage, the mini episode prequel The Great Detective, shows that the reality of the Doctor’s having walked away from it all grows quickly wearisome. Sometimes the inspirations that served Adams so well for Hitchhiker’s asides just weren’t suitable for Who. Steven Moffat’s first Doctor Who script was the 1999 charity special The Curse of Fatal Death. In this spoof the Doctor is looking to retire and settle down with his assistant, but is killed (four times!) before he can manage it. A shared setting and the tautological nature of the title were shout-outs to The Deadly Assassin, which in 1976 had reintroduced the Master as a hideously aged figure nearing the end of his final incarnation. In The Curse of Fatal Death the Master keeps falling through a trapdoor into the sewers, and spends several lifetimes extricating himself and returning to the moment just after. This was Moffat writing to plug gaps and answer questions raised by the program’s history. How is it that the Doctor stays motivated? Adams must have asked at some stage. And Moffat: How did the Master become so decrepit? Adams was notorious for recycling his ideas, which is why there exists a triangular cross-fade between Hitchhiker’s, Doctor Who and Dirk Gently. Moffat also evinces this tendency. A thought he posted online as a fan in 1995 — that the Doctor’s moniker might inform our
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 understanding of the word, not vice versa — found its way into A Good Man Goes To War (2011). His trifold flushing of the Master in The Curse of Fatal Death prefigured (albeit flippantly!) the Doctor’s Sisyphean plight in Heaven Sent (2015), while Joanna Lumley’s appearance as the last of the Doctor’s celebrity regenerations — a sex change! — foreshadowed the Master’s gratuitous reworking as Missy in Dark Water (2014). [Was there a reason not to use the Rani?] The prospect of a female Doctor had first been put out there by Tom Baker in 1980 when announcing his departure from the role. Moffat ran with this as a throwaway joke but then inexplicably came back to it in earnest. If we examine Moffat’s Doctor Who episodes, we might well discern (or perhaps merely project!) appropriated snippets of Adams’ writing. Supernatural monks. Elvis-themed desert diners. Notquite-companions who take the long way to the end of the universe. Throwing yourself out of a high window to maintain the element of surprise. Coincidence, Arthur Dent? Coincidence?!! The biggest of Moffat’s borrowings, however, is of growing attached to certain concepts even while misjudging their narrative loadbearing capacity. Such is the case in Series Nine (2015), where Moffat invests two shambolic episodes — The Magician’s Apprentice and The Witch’s Familiar — in setting up his reveal of how the Daleks power their weapons and why their speech is so stridently monotonous. Yes, these questions were nagging away at us for over half a century, but does that really justify plunging into the sewers again and staging a grandiloquent rehash of Genesis of the Daleks (1975)? Credit where it’s due: Moffat also gave us Strax, the comedically Jeeves-styled Sontaran of A Good Man Goes to War and subsequent adventures. As far as exuberant absurdism goes (and in this instance it’s not overplayed) that’s as Adamsey a Doctor Who character as we could ask for. But even though Who and Hitchhiker’s share many fans in common, the pragmatic, disheartening truth is that different rules apply... which a frustrated Adams belatedly discovered! Notions such as that of Heaven Sent are big enough yet sufficiently self-contained to warrant their own treatment, but in the majority of instances where Moffat is feeling clever, chances are he’d be better off just throwing his thoughts out there in passing — brushing past them like the macabre, cobweb-enshrouded starship passengers in Hitchhiker’s Fit the Twelfth (1980) — and then getting on with the job at hand: constructing a half-decent episode. Adams of course simply upped stumps and took his bat and ideas home, leaving the Tardis behind. Given that Moffat since 2010 has maintained a polygamous relationship with both Who and Sherlock, this might well prove another instance where he could follow the example... •
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ARTHUR GRAEME SMITH
Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17
Build-A-Companion As we know by now Jenna Coleman has made her exit from Doctor Who, so we’re on the lookout for a new companion for the upcoming series. So who is next? Which sort of companion (or companions) should The Doctor travel around with? Should he even have a companion? Well yes, otherwise this entire article would be utterly pointless. So unlike those build-a-bear shops you see littered around the large, uninspiring, zombiefilled shopping centres in major cities around the world - let’s build an uplifting and inspiring companion! Male? There’s been a rumbling underground campaign amongst forum-dwellers for a while about this issue. I suppose that Rory has arguably been the only (regular) male companion since the series came back in 2005. Even then, he seemed to play second fiddle to Amy and was only really brought on board after Amy tried to jump The Doctor at the end of Flesh and Stone. Would a male companion work? I’m not sure how I feel about this; if you look through the history of the show, it has generally balanced having The (male) Doctor with having at the very least, one female companion. Unless they were to introduce a female Doctor to compliment our man, it would be ‘unbalanced’ if balancing genders is indeed important to us viewers (imagine the criticism a maleonly Doctor Who, or even, a female-only Doctor Who would receive) If we do indeed have to have a ‘balanced’ Doctor Who with at least one member of each sex, then why not introduce a secondary companion? Somebody who isn’t related to the current companion, someone who they just happen to pick up? Someone who would ironically unbalance the genders, despite what I said earlier? Rigsy would have been ideal, I personally would have loved to learn more about him, but he has a family now and is seemingly settled down and him abandoning all of that would just seem tactless on his part. Alien or non-contemporary? I don’t know about you, but I’m constantly growing tired of re-visiting the modern-day with our modern-day companion. Russell T Davies once tackled this issue by making a comment of something along the lines of ‘we need a modern-day companion for the viewers to be able to relate to them’. That’s a fair point – but is it something that needs to happen every single time a new companion is cast? I feel that if you treat viewers like they won’t understand a character, if you don’t think they won’t relate to them, then you run the risk of growing complacent by constantly treading the same
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 old ground – which will only seep into the story. Using an alien, who is very unfamiliar with Earth customs, has been done before – but barely in the modern-day series. I’m thinking of a Leela, but not a direct copy of Leela. I’m not sure they’ll be able to get away with the skimpy outfits. Similarly, a non-contemporary companion would offer a balance between being familiar with Earth, but unfamiliar with other elements, which can only make stories set in the modern-day, that more interesting to viewers and perhaps help us to learn things about our modern life that we tend to neglect. Not happy to be there? Yeah, we had a Turlough who wasn’t necessarily happy to be around and more recently, Donna who appeared on board just as she was about to get married, before returning of her own volition. What would be interesting, is having our character who is simply not happy to be aboard the TARDIS – not necessarily trying to sabotage The Doctor, but someone who is desperate to get home but is constantly messed about with. Why are they desperate to get home? Who (if not The Doctor) is messing about with them? Like a Big Finish Lucie Miller, but not exactly a Big Finish Lucie Miller. You can already see how story branches can grow from this narrative tree. Celebrity? One aspect of the RTD era I didn’t like was the drafting in of these ‘in the moment celebrities who play themselves’ just to gain an extra few thousand viewers – will kids in 50 years time know (or care) who McFly are? No, in all likelihood they won’t, but I’m all for the casting of a long-deceased celebrity in Doctor Who. It would be interesting to see a character with an established history experience something that didn’t happen in reality and it can only bring out the creative best in writers, as they try to interweave established fact around their stories. It will only work with a deceased Celebrity, as aside from the murky rights issues, the fact that we know who these longdead people are today, just shows that people will always remember them in the future, which obviously isn’t the case with modern-day or relatively-recent-living celebrities. Within Doctor Who, we’ve had celebrity historicals that perhaps take a liberty or two with established fact, so having one travel with The Doctor for a bit probably won’t do any harm. Maybe it can be someone who has a history that isn’t laid-down, perhaps someone from The Dark Ages, where historical fact is very vague. I feel an opportunity was perhaps missed when Agatha Christie’s ‘missing years’ were solved in The Unicorn and The Wasp – missing years that could have been spent on board the TARDIS! A celebrity travelling with The Doctor isn’t anything new mind, more recently it was done in Big Finish, as the 8th Doctor travelled around with Mary Shelley (played on audio by Julie Cox) and saw us delve into her story, whilst another fictional story was going on around her. You can see how that might be interesting. Hey – just had a thought - what about our celebrity companion travelling in time to meet another historical celebrity! Margaret of Anjou slays McFly to death in their prime for making lewd comments. The universe might explode, but at least we were entertained for 45 minutes, which is all that matters in the end.
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 Non-British? We’ve had this idea before, as John Nathan-Turner hit on the belief that casting an American companion could potentially be an hit with the burgeoning waves that Doctor Who was making on public television in the US and Canada in the 1980’s. After reportedly seeing many US and Canadian actresses, JNT went for 23 year-old Surrey girl Nicola Bryant and the rest they say is low-cut-outfits-forthe-lads-before-coming-to-theirsenses-when-it-was-too-late history. With Doctor Who’s viewership growing more around the world with each series now, why not pander to what some newspapers call ‘foreigners’? We could go down the ‘traditional’ Doctor Who foreigner heartlands; Americans, Canadians, Australians, New Zealanders – or for a completely different type of foreigner. We seem to be laying out the red (no pun intended) carpet to the Chinese government and its businesses in the UK at the moment, so why not a Chinese companion? They have seemingly buried their hatchet with Hollywood recently, as many a new film is apparently doing well over there, so we’ll be fools to not get stuck into the rapidly-expanding Chinese entertainment market. Hopefully the companion will played by someone native this time - imagine the letters the BBC would get if they didn’t. All joking inside (I was joking by the way) it’ll be intriguing to see a ‘foreigner’ aboard the TARDIS. From a purely believability point of view, it IS rather odd that most of The Doctor’s companions are British and live in London! Just Normal? Okay, that title is partly misleading, as we all should know - there is no ‘normal’, we’re all different, all of us brilliant. Apart from Donald Trump. No, what I mean is that why does The Doctor’s companion NEED to be the ‘key to the universe’ or someone who isn’t like anyone The Doctor has never met before or is embedded in The Doctor’s entire timeline. Why can’t they just be a ‘normal’ person, maybe they’re a bit fed up of their current life and want to go travelling? From here, writers can GROW the companion, as they experience new things, instead of just hitting points A, B and C on their way to being revealed as the saviour of The Doctor and entire time itself, or whatever. I feel that a ‘normal’ companion will be able to connect with the viewers more – and from this connection, we too can learn to go out and experience new things like said companion, not by travelling the universe, just by stepping out of our front doors and carrying on experiencing, even if we are too fed up. That’s more inspiring to me than shooting Daleks.
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ARTHUR ORSE
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17
For Every Heaven Sent, There Is A Hell Bent saying I’m right, don’t send me hate mail for it.
RUSSELL T DAVIES MUST GO! screamed the forums, sick of his perceived rubbish writing which they felt was terribly selfindulgent. He did go and Steven Moffat was announced as his replacement. The majority were pleased, confident of a new era of Doctor Who that would move in a different direction. It was indeed a new era of Doctor Who, it did move in a new direction, but the same old fans, who for some reason think they know more about writing than a professional television writer with over 20 years of experience, quickly turned on Moffat and accused – as well as abused – him of the most heinous crimes of his craft, that a television writer can be accused of. I’m all for feedback and constructive criticism but when it turns into abuse, some of it personal, then I’m sorry (I don’t why I’m sorry) but you’re completely out of order and should have a sit down and have a long, hard think about things. Personally, I think Moffat’s era was an extremely mixed bag; for every Heaven Sent, there is a Hell Bent. Great, timeless episodes, followed by something that you literally didn’t know what to make of. But that’s my opinion, I’m not
This isn’t the first time that a producer of Doctor Who has had their legacy tarnished by false accusations, oh no (the Moffat is sexist lot – you know who you are) or those who just seemingly watch Doctor Who to vent their anger at something. Why do you bother? It’s interesting to note that the incoming Executive Producer and Head Writer of Doctor Who, Chris Chibnall, appeared on television as a teenager on Open Air in 1986, as part of an End of Season discussion, critiquing Doctor Who under the stewardship of John Nathan-Turner. But the difference here – is that his views were presented in a calm and constructive manner, without any bile attached to it (which considering the state of the Doctor Who production at the time, was quite an achievement!) It wasn’t pure name-calling in less than 147 characters and him grilling writers Pip and Jane Baker is excellent and you can see how he has gone on to use his intellect to become a television writer. Unfortunately today we have the internet and the thing is, you don’t have to think with the internet, it’s all so instant and easy to form ‘opinions’. That’s the biggest ‘problem’ with Moffat’s writing I feel – his stories are too ambiguous, as they are designed to make the viewers think. From what we’ve learnt, people don’t want to think – they want things explained to them and be pandered to. Any room for them to think
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 about a plotpoint is filled with moans of I DON’T UNDERSTAND, THIS IS RUBBISH! Which if you’re of the type, will descend into abuse for the creator. It’s meant for YOU to fill in the gaps, not everything in real life actually has an easy answer, that make sense, you know! If you still don’t like it, fair enough, that’s just you not agreeing with the choices he made in the writing process, but what it isn’t, is ‘bad writing’ – Steven Moffat took those choices and to him (and many people) they make sense. He would not be helming Doctor Who and receiving the praise he does from fellow professionals if he was a ‘bad writer’. So let’s consign that to the rubbish bin, eh? Along with him apparently ‘hating women’; Hell Bent was by some distance the most feminist episode of Doctor Who ever. Another issue that Moffat has had to face is this recent culture of being a ‘celebrity writer’, as the front players are no longer just the stars of the show; writers, directors and producers are monitored closely and have whole fanbases themselves. Now I’m in no way saying these people don’t deserve praise, but I’m not a fan of this ‘celebrity writer’ culture (well, I’m not a fan of celebrity full stop) as all it seems to do is create unrealistic expectations and generally garner a reputation which isn’t befitting of their work. For me a writer should be in the background, the person behind the curtain, letting those front players get on with what they do best – being at the front and acting out the script written for them. That way, any pressure which the writer may feel is taken away and they
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can get on making decisions that they believe is best and improve and grow at their own rate, which incidentally, will help their front players receive less turnips-in-the-face and more roses-attheir-feet. I would be nowhere near social media, or bother to go to conventions, if I was involved in the programme. Steven Moffat was on Twitter when he took the Doctor Who job, giving us all information on the craft of creating his scripts, but he was soon off it. His wife, Sherlock producer Sue Vertue, was kind about it and put it down to ‘he has lots of work to do’. No prizes for guessing the real reason though. It’s made me wonder what has happened to us just sitting down and enjoy watching something without criticising every aspect of it? That might sound ironic coming from an article in a FANZINE, but in general, fan-made stuff tends to promote creativity and help people to think about something they love, without necessarily picking apart the production. I can’t say that I love getting involved in ‘fandom’ these days, which seems to be a mostly internet pursuit. We have CHILDREN and ADULTS calling Moffat a ‘f*ing idiot’ on Twitter, because they don’t understand an episode. I don’t understand the appeal of Justin Bieber, but even I don’t call him a f*ing idiot. A celebrity-hungry corporate plaything who has hoodwinked an entire generation of people, maybe, but it’s nothing personal - I don’t hate the lad, I don’t send him streams of abuse from behind a poorly-constructed screen name. His music isn’t for me, but you know what? There are plenty of other artists out
Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 there who don’t play the corporate game and produce music to my liking – and if Moffat’s Doctor Who makes you hate him so much, my suggestion is to go and watch something else because you’re not doing your own wellbeing any good. The internet is a wonderful thing where we can educate ourselves and meet people from all over the world, but it seems all everyone wants to do is abuse people who create entertainment that we generally enjoy watching, it’s very sad. The other big news to come from the same press release was that there would only be a Christmas special in 2016, as the series is (likely) to be moving back to a spring transmission. Personally, I think it’s a good move and I’ve said previously in this fanzine that the modern series should carve out its own (regular) niche when it comes to filming and broadcasting episodes. I just don’t think a autumn/winter airing doesn’t work - it isn’t 1978, not many people watch television live anymore and when they do, it’s normally these big ‘event’ reality shows like Strictly Come Dancing or The X Factor. Doctor Who won’t be picking up viewers there, nor will it be picking any up in summer 2016 when the European Football Championships (with THREE countries of the UK represented and games being shown on BBC as well as their competitors ITV) and the Olympics. It
makes total sense that the series (and Capaldi and the entire production) is given a rest before the series comes back all guns blazing in 2017, with very little competition on the other channels. The momentum that was gained with the spring/summer series from 2005 constantly gained viewers and it was only the break in 2009 that broke that momentum up, and now we’ve been left with incidents throughout the Moffat era of episode start times being constantly messed with and nobody knew when they were on anymore. I’ll never forget the time RTD had a bit of a public rant at the BBC for changing the start times for his episodes – they were on at a more consistent time, afterwards! Steven Moffat should by now be held in as much esteem by the BBC, so it’ll be very interesting to see viewing figures in 2017 if all the episodes are on at the same time. All that’s left to say is ‘thank-you Steven’ and best of luck for 2017 - and the future. Here’s hoping for a bright new era under Chris Chibnall (although as I’m writing this, I’ve just found a multi-page thread on Digital Spy entitled ‘Is Chris Chibnall The Best They Could Come Up With’. He’s only won a BAFTA and been nominated for a Writers Guild award. What does he know?) The clock is already ticking.
Fish Fingers and Custard – FREE back issues available! 16 Issues of incompetence, speling mistakes and honest, heartfelt views on Doctor Who!
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17
The Fourth Doctor BBC PDAs – a real mixed bag The Fourth Doctor books from the Past Doctor Adventures series. If these novels were jelly babies most of them would be green or yellow ones, and some would also be covered in fluff. Received fan wisdom has it that the Second Doctor is very difficult to write for because it’s difficult to capture his voice through words alone, so much of his performance and characterisation being visual. I think that came from a general disappointment with the four Second Doctor Virgin ‘Missing Adventures’ in the mid-90s, as I’ve not read any Target novelisations of his stories where I’ve felt he’s been poorly served. I’ve not yet read all of the Second Doctor MAs, but from personal experience I consider the Fourth Doctor to be the one most poorly served and captured in ‘Missing Story’ fiction – particularly the run of BBC ‘Past Doctor Adventures’ that ran in tandem with their Eighth Doctor Adventures range between 1997 and 2005. There were twelve Fourth Doctor PDAs published: • • • • • •
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Eye of Heaven by Jim Mortimore Last Man Running by Chris Boucher Millennium Shock by Justin Richards Corpse Marker by Chris Boucher Tomb of Valdemaar by Simon Messingham Heart of TARDIS by Dave Stone (also featuring the Second Doctor)
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Festival of Death by Jonathan Morris Asylum by Peter Darvill-Evans Psi-ence Fiction by Chris Boucher Drift by Simon A. Forward Wolfsbane by Jacqueline Rayner (also featuring the Eighth Doctor) Match of The Day by Chris Boucher
There are some very competent names there, particularly the return to the fold of Chris Boucher who had penned some of the best of the mid-run Fourth Doctor TV stories. What a shame, then, that so many of them are dreadful! Virgin’s range of Missing Adventures, published between 1995 and1997, had served the Fourth Doctor very well, famously underpinned by Gareth Roberts’ Season 17 triple of The Romance of Crime, The English Way of Death and The WellMannered War. John Peel’s Evolution, Justin Richards’ System Shock and Christopher Bulis’ A Device of Death had captured pretty well the earlier grittier tone of the Hinchcliffe adventures. Even Stephen Marley’s Managra gave us a quirky, original tale which, if not to everyone’s taste, was certainly nudging boundaries. Leela’s stint in the middle of the Fourth Doctor’s era was overlooked (so was the Third Doctor & Sarah Jane from Season 11), but we had new stories with all the other companions up to Romana MkII, with David A. McIntee even shoe-horning in a prequel / sequel to The Talons of Weng-Chiang half way through the Key To Time Season. It’s difficult to pin-point precisely where or why the BBC PDAs failed to capitalise
Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 on the good ground work done by Virgin. All the other eras of the show expanded wonderfully under the PDAs – although the Seventh Doctor stories will always divide fans thanks to Virgin’s run of ‘New Adventures’ (1991-1997) having done this Doctor to death – literally!
Clearly, though, an editorial decision was taken from the off to aim at the gaps left unexplored by Virgin. Leela features in six of these twelve books (without K9, so before The Invisible Enemy). Sarah Jane appears in only one as a travelling companion and briefly in another as a cameo (Sarah Jane instead featured in more Third Doctor stories). Harry Sullivan gets better served because at least he features prominently in two books (and he may never be the same again after Wolfsbane!) Romana MkI gets two outings as two more stories are squeezed into supposed gaps within Season 16, and Romana MkII pokes a toe out of the
TARDIS yet again in a bold move by Jonathan Morris considering what he would be judged against from Gareth Roberts. Peter Darvill-Evans and Justin Richards both set stories between The Deadly Assassin and The Face of Evil, so three quarters of these books take place between half way through Season 14 and half way through Season 16. The early signs are great. Eye of Heaven is a superb book, refreshingly written and told largely from the point of view of Leela and the character Stockwood. First person narrative can be so effective in these stories and the earliest Doctor Who novel (In an Exciting Adventure with) The Daleks, by David Whittaker (1965) sees the original television serial told purely from Ian Chesterton’s perspective. Recently the Twelfth Doctor range has successfully used this method again with James Goss’ brilliant The Blood Cell (2014). Jim Mortimore is a skilled writer and Eye of Heaven is one of the best and most creative entries in the whole range. Last Man Running comes next and is an OK read at best. This is a shame as the name Chris Boucher on the cover sends tingles down the spine of readers who recall his TV stories with glee. He writes a very sour Doctor, who clearly dislikes Leela and does his best to put her down and show his dislike rather than the more patrician attitude we get on TV. Boucher also doesn’t write for Leela very well, which comes as a surprise since he created the character. He seems to have forgotten her along the way, or maybe he had some fixed ideas about her that
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 weren’t carried through by Robert Holmes into the TV scripts. This, unfortunately, pervades all four of his novels and they get increasingly frustrating. Millennium Shock was, apparently, a hastily-written last-minute replacement from Justin Richards and is a direct sequel to his Virgin MA System Shock. They’re both great reads, if not technically spot-on in terms of how computers and computer systems work – but I’m a forgiving reader if the words and the characters engage me and more often than not Justin Richards’ work does just that. Millennium Shock has a touching return for an older Harry Sullivan, and the Doctor rather sweetly choosing to avoid bumping into an older Sarah Jane Smith having only very recently dropped off her younger self in order to return to Gallifrey – a hint, I think, of how strong the emotional bond was between them and how fresh the wound remained for the Doctor.
Corpse Marker was recently reprinted in the ‘Monster’ series thanks to the appearance of an army of Voc robots. A sequel to Robots of Death (and a prequel to Blake’s 7: Countdown at the same time!) was a source of some excitement
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to many fans at the time, but it comes nowhere near the brilliance of the original. It has some nice ideas but it loses itself as Boucher gets carried away with having a limitless budget – an unfortunate pitfall for Doctor Who novelists - and it becomes more about spectacle than character and story. Here you really start to wonder why the Doctor and Leela are travelling together as the Doctor seems to have very little time for her at all and Leela’s faith in him seems difficult to justify. Simon Messingham’s Tomb of Valdemaar was also recently republished as part of a Fourth Doctor limited edition box set of DVDs and memorabilia. I was surprised by this because I found the book to be very disappointing. I felt that Messingham had settled upon certain stresses in the story and that’s what he focussed on, trying too long and too hard to create a dark and gothic atmosphere to the point at which it became dull. There wasn’t enough story to fill the length of the book so it really dragged after a while. I finished it and decided I’d be unlikely to pick it up again. Equally unremarkable was Dave Stone’s Heart of TARDIS, another immediately forgettable entry in the range which is no small achievement for a book featuring both Second and Fourth Doctors. Already by this point we have far more ‘misses’ than ‘hits’ against the list of titles. The Doctor isn’t leaping off the page to entice us in, he’s bickering with Romana, belittling Leela or snapping at K9 – there’s little sense of the joy and energy that Tom Baker gives us on screen. Perhaps the
Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 authors were trying to promote the darker, broodier side of the Fourth Doctor, but it doesn’t come across as a success. I will re-read Heart of TARDIS when I batch read all the Second Doctor PDAs. Possibly my apathy will prove to be misplaced then, we’ll see. The first time I read Festival of Death was whilst I was also making my way through Gareth Roberts’ Season 17 stories as well. Not to judge Jonathan Morris too harshly, but his efforts seemed to have a forced levity and I was put off by what I considered to be a sense of the author ‘showing off’ and trying to be too clever. This is a book I’ve since chosen to revisit and I’m pleased to say I very much enjoyed it the second time around. The self-indulgence and ‘knowingness’ the second time around were still evident but I was more comfortable with the piece. I will say, though, that you can’t rely on readers to want or be able to read a book more than once if they don’t enjoy it in the first place. Having picked itself up a bit unfortunately the range hits its ultimate low point with Asylum. Easily one of the worst books I’ve ever read, of any kind. I can’t even begin to understand why Darvill-Evans felt bringing an older Nyssa in to the gap between The Deadly Assassin and The Face of Evil would be a good idea, but again the Doctor is so poorly characterised that you wonder how they can be getting it so wrong so consistently. I can think of nothing positive to say about Asylum whatsoever.
By the time Psi-ence Fiction came along I was dreading the Chris Boucher books. Possibly because of that I found this to be an unchallenging read, mildly engaging and mildly enjoyable at times, but Boucher was clearly not allowing much development from book to book for the Doctor and Leela and again they’re not very well written or characterised. The story has some engaging ideas, but it’s not expertly realised. Psi-ence Fiction is probably the most accessible and readerfriendly of Boucher’s four entries, though.
Leela is there again in Drift. Now, I love the character - she was my first companion, but by this point I was wishing the range would spread its wings a little more. At least give us Leela with K9, for example (although that wouldn’t work well here in the snow!) Simon Messingham’s novel is not readerfriendly. I’m not necessarily looking for an easy read, but I like to know where I am, who’s who and how they fit into the story. I got completely lost early on in this book – possibly that was a clever authors trick, a metaphor for the snowy blizzards in the book confusing the characters as the words confuse the reader. Possibly. I’m inclined to think not though - it would have been done with more style and
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 purpose if that was the case. Drift was another book I just read from start to finish in order to move on to the next one. Very poor. Wolfsbane came with quite a bit of critical appreciation, I recall. I was surprised at how slim a volume it was, featuring two Doctors as it does. I’ve read it a few times now, in its place within both Fourth and Eighth Doctor chronologies. The Eighth Doctor comes across well but yet again I felt that the Fourth Doctor on the page was not the Fourth Doctor we’ve seen on the screen. The language, the gestures, the expressions just don’t make him come alive and jump off the page. This was a welcome revival of a great TARDIS team, but the execution is patchy and uneven. To end the Fourth Doctor’s PDA range with Match of The Day is something of a blessed release, really. Virgin sent their MAs off to posterity with the triumphant Well-Mannered War. The BBC PDAs stagger on for another six releases until Andrew Cartmel’s Atom Bomb Blues sends the Seventh Doctor and Ace on their way with a bang, but Chris Boucher here lays the Fourth Doctor and Leela to rest in an awful book that has virtually nothing to recommend it at all. No charm, no engagement, no wit, no sense of drama or jeopardy, just words on a page. Such a shame. Such a disappointment.
Twelve novels, three great, three dire, the remaining six ranging from OK at best to pretty awful. That’s not a good success rate. It’ll be interesting to see how A.L. Kennedy’s recently published The Drosten’s Curse fares, since the only new Fourth Doctor books published since Match of The Day in 2005 have been adaptations of Douglas Adams’ TV stories and a few short novellas of varying quality. Tom Baker’s performances were mercurial, swinging wildly from dark and brooding to booming and extrovert - and at times just plain silly. It seems that the ability to capture the sheer energy of his Doctor, the sheer randomness, is a skill that few authors have mastered. Even a storyteller as accomplished as Terrance Dicks struggled to capture the pure joie de vive at times in his Target novelisations. The Fourth Doctor is still a very popular Doctor, and I wonder if many - particularly those who grew up with him – think of him as an easy option, and view his broadbrush performance as one that’s easy to capture and manipulate on the page? I think the failures in the BBC PDA range show that this is very much not the case: there is no easy option for a TARDIS team and it takes a literary master craftsman to do justice to this particular Doctor and his companions. •
TIM GAMBRELL
The Terrible Zodin Back Issues and New Issues – free to download from http://doctorwhottz.blogspot.co.uk/ 40
Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17
How Does the Third Doctor know Venusian Aikido? Everybody has a favourite Doctor. Of course they do. Most people even know which one it is. But the sign of a true Doctor Who fan (I’m proposing here, spuriously perhaps) is when that knowledge comes to conscious fruition but gradually. To elucidate: I like William Hartnell’s mannerisms and skeksi-like rhetorical interrogatives. I like Patrick Troughton’s playfulness. I like Jon Pertwee’s earthbound family, Tom Baker’s assistants and Peter Davison’s starburst credits. I like Colin Baker. I like Sylvester McCoy’s accent and the unfulfilled potential of both Paul McGann and Richard E. Grant. I like Christopher Eccleston’s northernness, David Tenant’s mercuriality, Matt Smith’s dialogue, Peter Capaldi’s dismissiveness... but I also have reservations that keep me from latching on to any of the Doctors as clear favourite. Each is brilliant in his own way. Each incarnation comes with a degree of baggage. How can I single one out? For many people the Doctor of choice merely defaults to whichever they grew up on: an imprinting such as experienced by baby birds searching for their mother. Fair enough. Nostalgia must be paid its dues. But surely there’s more to it than this? People who were suckled on vinyl can be weaned onto MP3s. People born in the twenty-first century can still plump for the Beatles. It’s not always as simple as having been there. Yet still there must be a preference lurking deep down in my mind; and if I’m asked which Doctor I like best, I can hardly answer, ‘All of them,’ can I? Or, ‘Whichever one I’m watching.’ In the Doctor Who community that comes across as dissembling. It won’t be tolerated. Well, I suggest that the answer lies in my subconscious, formed through the passing of years and vying for my attention by way of a recurring question; namely: How does the Third Doctor know Venusian aikido? This might seem disingenuous, but it bears thinking about — not because the answer’s important but rather because, of all the trivial inconsistencies I could have settled on, this is the one that keeps coming back. Not in a bad way. Not with genuine puzzlement or sneering approbation. It’s more an acceptance; a sign that I’ve come to terms with all aspects of this programme that for years has in some measure both defined and bedevilled me. As Doctor Who regenerated into the 1970s, confined to Earth but liberated by a profusion of colour, it emerged that dandy, velvet-jacketed Jon Pertwee was proficient in the nonlethal and highly flamboyant martial art of Venusian aikido. Hai! Fantastic! But when did
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17 he learn it? Not, presumably, while cooped up at UNIT with a non-functional TARDIS... And yet, it seems about as likely for Troughton’s Doctor to have partaken of choreographed fisticuffs as it would have been for Jamie to stand about dicing carrots for a stew. Hartnell’s Doctor also doesn’t seem the type. Nor, in fact, do any of the Doctors who followed. Let’s be honest: the penchant for circling about and flipping people base over apex has, from 1963 to the present day, been by and large the prerogative of Pertwee’s Doctor, who of all the iterations was the one with no opportunity to acquire the skill. Then how—? Well, because Jon Pertwee wanted to, obviously. But the circumstances behind this negligible continuity issue are of little bearing. The point is that I’m at peace now. I have my answer, brought to me merely by the question’s posing: my favourite Doctor is the Third. I put it forward that similar inklings must be skulking about inside the heads of every long-term Doctor Who fan; furthermore, that once we identify them we should use the defining query as a means by which to declare allegiance. Anyone who experiences such an epiphany, please tweet it to: @MaxMooneyDSS #HowTheWho (Revelations that situate you in the midst of the Eastenders crossover are perhaps best kept to yourself). •
MAX MOONEY
Yet More Critical Acclaim For Fish Fingers and Custard This is offensive to every single person on this planet. It must be Mexican - Mr Trump, New York I thought it was a good read, until the swearing stopped -Anon There’s too much writing. Doctor Who Magazine doesn’t have too much writing -J. Smith, Twitter I’ve read better mock-newsprint wallpaper -Miss L. Pop, Vancouver I don’t understand half the words in it, it hurts my brain, but the front cover is pretty, so I love it -L. Jones, Twitter ‘The poundshop Doctor Who Magazine’ -Anon Quite simply, the best Doctor Who fanzine called Fish Fingers and Custard to be created in Britain at this moment -B. Johnson, London
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 17
There was once on a time a shepherd boy whose fame spread far and wide because of the wise answers which he gave to every question. The King of the t country heard of it likewise, but did not believe it, and sent for the boy. Then he said to him, “If thou canst give me an answer to three questions which I will ask thee, I will look on thee as my own child, and thou shalt dwell with me in my royal palace.” ace.” The boy said, “What are the three questions?” The King said, “The first is, how many drops of water are there in the ocean?” The shepherd boy answered, “Lord King, if you will have all the rivers on earth dammed up so that not a single drop runs from them into the sea until I have counted it, I will tell you how many drops there are in the sea.” The King said, “The next question is, how many stars are there in the sky?” The shepherd boy said, “Give me a great sheet of white paper,” and then he made so many fine points on it with a pen that they could scarcely be seen, and it was all but impossible to count them; any one who looked at them would have lost his sight. Then he said, “There are as many stars in the sky as there are points on the paper; just count them.” But no one was able to do it. The King said, “The third question is, how many seconds of time are there in eternity.” Then said the shepherd boy, “In Lower Pomerania is the Diamond Mountain, which is two miles and a half high, two miles and a half wide, and two miles and a half in depth; every hundred years a little bird comes and sharpens its beak on it, and when the whole mountain is worn away by this, then the first second of eternity will be over.” The King said, “Thou hast answered the three questions like a wise man, and shalt henceforth dwell with me in my royal palace, and I will regard thee as my own child.” 43