Just for Families Issue 1 by Forces & Corporate Publishing Ltd

JustFamilies for

Incorporating The UK Forces Education Guide

you r Giv in g Birt h while Pa rt n er is a wa y

t To Lig ht wat er Win A Fa m ily T icke Va lle y T he m e Pa rk Pa re nt in g in Th e Fo rces

Issue 1

2 Just For Families

Welcome to our first issue of Just for Families - Incorporating the UK Forces Education Guide WOW! A year of the new and re-launched UK Forces Education Guide has passed, and with the next year brings even more improvement. We’ve listened to your comments and ideas to broaden our publication, to make our target audience wider. We have, for this issue and beyond, changed our title to ‘Just for Families’. It will still incorporate the UK Forces Education Guide and still will be relevant to education, but means we can cover family related topics too! It also now follows our ‘Just For’ branding and many of you will have heard of our sister publication, Just for Her! You will notice this magazine is soooo much bigger than the last issue, and with a total re-vamp! Just for Families is your magazine! We want you to be involved, send us in your family pictures and appear on our ‘Forces Families’ Page. Included in this issue are the photos* sent into us for a competition on Facebook of your little ones for World Book Day, all the children looked amazing! Do you like writing? Want to share with other Forces Families what you’re going through with schools, deployment, babies…here you can do this! Email me at sally@forcespublishing.co.uk or call me direct on 01933 417094 and we can include you in the next issue. Last month you asked, through the powers Facebook, for us to include information on Children within the forces with ASN, it was probably our most challenging request yet but we hope we have covered it well. Please feel free to request other topics you would like us to include. This issue covers…well what doesn’t it cover! It is crammed full of articles and we hope you’ll find it a great read. Don’t forget Dad!, Father’s Day 19th June. The National Trust has included venues and dates of their events again and Baker Ross have included an idea for homemade makes. We have also included a very military style gift guide. We would like to welcome Meya Lawrence to the publication, a naval wife who is now sharing her blog with us all and a wave to Hayley our resident food blogger.

JustFamilies for

Incorporating The UK Forces Education Guide

Forces Families

World Book Day

A to Z of Baby Showers

How to Make a Nappy Cake

The Military Wives who Give Birth without their Partners

Pavilion Books -

Giveaway!

Postnatal Depression

The Life of a Sailor’s Wife

Thousands of Parents Benefit from 30 Hours’ Free Childcare Early

Parenting in The Forces Lightwater Valley Theme Park Izzy and Ollie -

Win!

The Challenge of Childcare

34 39 40

Getting Creative is Ezee Beady with John Adams Kids Fashion

Win!

Tips for Dealing with Fussy Eaters

Neglected Cookbooks - Strawberry Cake

Cool Kids Cook -

Giveaway!

Children with ASN

Getting on Board

Rubik’s -

Competition!

Father’s Day Gifts

Father’s Day Events 2016

DIY Father’s Day Gifts

Jacqueline Hurley -

Giveaway!

Competitions Galore! Pavilion Book are giving away ‘Worry with Mother’, ‘Dad Disasters’ & ‘Cool Kids Cook’, Lightwater Valley Theme Park are giving one lucky reader a family pass for 5 people, along with some front of queue tickets, worth £190. John Adams have two competitions in this issue, The Rubiks range and eZee Beads giving 14 lucky winners prizes. Izzy & Ollie have kindly given us a copy of their Click, Click, Buckle Up Quick book to giveaway and Jacqueline Hurley is giving away a beautiful signed print of hers ‘My Knight In Body Armour’. Our next issue will cover July, August & September, if you would like to include anything or would like us to cover any particular topics please let us know. Our cut-off date for articles will be the end of May. Keep an eye on Facebook for more competitions online. don’t forget to like us on Facebook

Sally *permission of children taken from our Facebook competition were received before going to print

Articles and photographs reproduced by kind permission of the contributors

Forces & Corporate Publishing Ltd, Hamblin House, Hamblin Court, Rushden, Northants NN10 0RU. Tel: 01933 419994 www.forcespublishing.co.uk Editorial: Sally Haynes Design: Hayley Smith

© No responsibility for the quality of goods or services advertised in this magazine can be accepted by the publishers or printers. Advertisements are included in good faith. The MOD or any Service Establishment is not responsible for the advertiser or its advertised product or service.

Supporters of

Just For Families 3

4 Just For Families

Choosing the right school for your child is one of the biggest decisions you’ll face. At Tettenhall College, we understand that there isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ approach to education. Every child is unique and we have created a close-knit, family atmosphere where individual needs are catered for. Based in central England, around three miles to the west of the city of Wolverhampton, the School is situated in the picturesque village of Tettenhall, just a short drive from the Shropshire and Staffordshire countryside and well-served for transport links. With its own private woodlands, historic buildings and secret gardens, Tettenhall College offers an idyllic setting for pupils from ages 2-18 years, who learn in inspirational surroundings.

With a packed extra-curricular programme, weekend activities and trips and a caring pastoral team onsite, we provide a term-time home, not just a place to sleep.

The School is set to improve even further with major boarding and sports redevelopments taking place to enhance its offering to staff, pupils and the wider community.

Academic achievements at Tettenhall College demonstrate the success of our teaching and learning. Last year was also a record year for A Level A* performers and our overall pass rate was almost 99 per cent. Pupils went on to top universities and instituitions, including Oxford UCL and RADA. GCSE results were also excellent, with pupils achieving top grades. Eleven Year 10 pupils and one Year 9 pupil also took their Maths GCSE a year early, with all achieving top A* and A grades.

Outstanding new facilities, including enhanced sports provision and renovation of historic buildings, will enable the School to retain its unique blend of the traditional and contemporary and widen opportunities for pupils. Detailed work is underway on new multi-use games areas to further enhance sports facilities at the School. There are also plans for a new floodlit Astroturf pitch, a new tennis and netball area, a high ropes facility and a designated mountain bike trail to complement the recently developed ‘Forest Schools’ area, loved by all pupils who enjoy exciting, outdoor activities in a safe setting. Café culture is being embraced at the School, with a new coffee shop for parents and sixth formers set to be unveiled for the start of the Autumn term. All these exciting developments will enhance the learning and social environment of the School. However, it’s the dedication to nurturing each child and helping them achieve their potential and develop their own talents that has helped us to become a successful school with an outstanding reputation. Inspectors recently singled out the outstanding relationships between staff and pupils in an official report. They highlighted the excellent personal development of pupils, caring staff and successful learning. The report from the Independent Schools Inspectorate (ISI) stated: “The pupils’ excellent behaviour and the outstanding relationships they enjoy with the staff and each other are conducive to their successful learning.” It added: “The success of the school lies in the good standard of achievement and excellent personal development of its pupils, from EYFS (Early Years Foundation Stage) to Year 13.” Education for younger children was judged as outstanding, with good preparation for senior school and particular praise for EYFS. Teachers were praised for knowing pupils well and being able to respond to individual needs and pastoral care was also stated to be excellent. This care is particularly evident when boarders, who may be leaving home for the first time, join us. Like all our pupils, Tettenhall College boarders are made welcome from the moment they arrive. Our nurturing atmosphere and our dedicated staff and friendly

pupils help new arrivals settle quickly. The boarding houses are run by The Housemaster and Housemistress but ample opportunity is given for students to have their say on the routine and rules within the House. In order to promote leadership skills and responsibility, pupils are expected to carry out minor duties to ensure the smooth running of the boarding houses. Our boarding school accommodation is also included in the School’s redevelopment. A major facelift will incorporate 21st Century facilities and ensuite accommodation. For everyday support, the Housemaster and Housemistress appoint a Head of House and a Prefect Team. These prefects will be responsible for liaising with the House staff regarding everyday boarding matters, act as House representatives and promote active participation in House competitions, trips and excursions.

While we are very proud of these results, we also understand the importance of extra-curricular activities and offer an innovative and varied programme, from games clubs to sports. Pupils are also top performers in English Speaking Board Exams and are encouraged to undertake voluntary work and charitable pursuits. Music and performing arts are a further strength of Tettenhall College. We even have a Preparatory School rock band and a string quartet in senior school. Alongside performances in our very own theatre, our pupils frequently support full-scale professional productions at The Grand Theatre in Wolverhampton. Our children have been praised for their excellent behaviour, good manners and confidence, a reflection of our school ethos. We help them develop the confidence and attributes to succeed in whichever path they choose to take. James Alder is a shining example of how our pupils show skills beyond the classroom after becoming the highest possible rank for his age group in the RAF cadets and also being commended for his achievements at a prestigious city awards. The high-flying student is now a Flight Sergeant with the cadets and was also recognised in the city when he was nominated for The Wolverhampton Young Citizen Award 2014. Judges commended him for his outstanding work and fantastic contribution to the cadets and the wider community. We are proud of every single pupil success and celebrate achievement in a variety of areas, helping our pupils to feel valued. Headmaster David Williams says: “We are working extremely hard to provide the best education possible by producing well-rounded individuals who know their own minds and can flourish here and in the world beyond”

For further information or to arrange a visit please contact our Admissions Team by emailing admissions@tettcoll.co.uk or calling us on 01902 751119

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And The Winner is... Becki Lou Doddington was the lucky winner of our Facebook ‘Like’ competit ion! Here is a photo of her daughter Aurora with her prize.

s e i l i m a F s Force

We want to hear about what you have all been up to!

Kimberly and her hubby Aaron based at RAF Brize Norton with daughters Lilly-may and Megan

Want to see your photo appear in the next issue of Just for Families? Get involved! Send us your pics of what you and your family have been up to in and around your area. Pick up the latest issue from your local Hive and ‘Like’ us on Facebook to keep up to speed on the latest competitions and give aways. It could be your photo featured in the next issue!

Lilly and her daddy out for a meal celebrating their birthday on the same day

Brian & Nicky, Jessica, Connor, Cora and Ruairi Based at Plymouth

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BookDay d l r o W

A few snap shots of your little ones dressed up as their favourite characters for world book day 2016!

Logan aged 5

Evie aged 7

Ari aged 1

Paige aged 4

Aimee aged 7 8 Just For Families

Rylie aged 5

Bertie aged 5 weeks

Kian aged 8 and his world book day figure

Matthew aged 7 and Faye aged 4

d7 Sophie age

Logan aged 2 and a half

Leo aged 9

Lilly aged 5

Ellie aged 11

d7 Tommy age

Mollie aged 8

Jessica aged 5

Jack aged 9 Just For Families 9

AZ to

Once a very American event, the baby shower is growing in popularity. Whether it’s for you or you’re arranging a shower for your friend or relative, here’s our A to Z guide on planning the ultimate celebration…

b ac ANNOUNCEMENT

So whilst it may not be the first thing that comes to mind after that second line has appeared, sooner or later you’ll be asked, or will ask, if there are plans for a baby shower. Generally held in the latter stages of pregnancy, when there’s a bump to paw over, you need to decide how you’re going to let everyone know the details. Thanks to the wonder that is the ‘internet’ you can now send a quick group email and receive almost instant replies. This is a great way for those living abroad and cuts out the postal delays. If you’d prefer to go down the more traditional route then there are hundreds of invitations to choose from that you can either buy, or make yourself. If you really want to do something different, then why not think outside the box, and create something ffun un like a ‘ready to pop’ balloon with all the details printed on or a ‘bun in the oven’ boxed iced bun with the details inside.

BUDGET

A crucial first step in planning a baby shower is deciding on a budget. The purpose of the shower is to celebrate the impending arrival and make a fuss of the mum to be. Whether you have £50 or £500, it can be done, you may just need to be a bit more creative if you don’t have a lot to spend!

CAKE

A cake makes a perfect centrepiece for the table and adds that extra special party feel. With sites like Pinterest and YouTube, there’s no shortage of ideas and tutorials; from the frankly vulgar and inappropriate, to the sickeningly sweet, it’s not difficult to make it look like you spent a fortune on a professionally made cake. Perhaps a less daunting task for the novice baker, cupcakes are a great option and can be created with limited time or funds.

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de h gi

INTERNET

GAMES

DECORATIONS

Love them or loathe them, they can be a great way to get everyone involved and provide entertainment for the shower.

The list is endless and will depend largely on where you are hosting the shower and how much you have to spend. Colour is an important factor and don’t be afraid to shy away from the standard pink, blue or yellow. There’s no need to go crazy, think subtle and sophisticated, calming and chic. Bunting is a classic and a great place to start. Teamed with some balloons and your fabulous cake, you’re on to a winner. To add a more personal element, how about decorating the room with photos of the parents to be as youngsters, adding an insight into what the new arrival may look like!

HOST

ENTERTAINMENT

Whilst we’re not suggesting you hire a three piece string quartet, it is well worth considering what it is you will be doing at the baby shower. Guests might not know each other and if left to their own devices, an awkward silence may ensue. Games are an obvious choice but if they aren’t your cup of tea then how about some pampering? If budget allows, there are many therapists that offer group pamper sessions and they may even have specific baby shower packages. If this isn’t an option, you could buy facemasks and equipment for a ‘do-ityourself’ manicure/pedicure for minimal cost. Don’t forget that the mum to be probably hasn’t been able to reach her own toes for a while though and make sure she has hers done for her! Another alternative is getting crafty with guests creating an array of items for the baby or mum to be.

If you’ve been asked to host a baby shower, it can feel like a big responsibility. You may only know your pregnant friend/relative and it’s a daunting task trying to organise a group of people you don’t know. Make sure you’re clued up on exactly what the mum to be wants and doesn’t want and don’t be afraid to ask for help from other invitees. Most importantly, enjoy the day too and unless the mum to be’s waters break during a game of ‘Ice Ice Baby’, don’t panic!

f k FAVOURS

Many may not feel this is necessary however it is nice to send your guests off with a little keepsake of the day and a thank you for attending. If you know the baby’s sex, why not send each guest home with a pink or blue nail polish and thank you tag. How about a bag of ‘ready to pop’ popcorn or a ‘baby powder’ Yankee tea light? For those on a tight budget a simple thank you card will more than suffice and guests will be grateful for the gesture.

A particular issue for military wives and girlfriends is that they may be living miles away from some of their friends and relatives. Queue the internet! It isn’t unusual now a days to hold a cybershower to include those people that can’t be there. Another touching alternative if the mum to be is away, is to send a baby shower pack. Ask her friends and relatives back home to write messages and advice, design a onesie (see Onesies below) and record a video message and post it to her as a show of love and support.

JUGS

We’re not being smutty, we’re talking jugs of drink! Whilst you could of course serve the standard soft drinks, how about looking up some ‘mummy mocktail’ recipes…

KIT

If you’re pushed for time, there are plenty of baby shower ‘kits’ available that will save you a huge amount of effort. Dependant on how much you have to spend, kits start with downloadable files for you to print your own invitations, banners and thank you cards, and extend to fully supplied decorations, food, games and favours. If you’re not the crafty type and are looking for convenience, this may be the perfect option. Try looking at sites such as eBay, Etsy, Amazon and Party Pieces.

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o n m l

LADIES

Traditionally there would only be ladies at a baby shower however this is 2015 and if you’d prefer the men folk there, then invite them too. Just don’t tell them we suggested it! If a lot of your guests have children, you could also consider inviting them too and plan the entertainment accordingly. Call it a baptism of fire for the ‘mum to be’!

NAPPY CAKE

Our regular readers will recall the nappy cake feature in the last issue, in which we showed you how to make your own. For those of you who don’t know what it is, it’s a ‘cake’ made from nappies and other items for baby such as vests, hats and comforters. This is an impressive looking gift and sure to put a smile on the mum to be’s face! Check out our last issue online for the complete guide or, if you don’t want to create one yourself, we highly recommend you contact Nappy Days Gifts at www.nappydaysgifts.co.uk who will be happy to create one for you!

A pack of white babygrows (or vests), some fabric pens or paint and a bit of imagination is all you need to not only entertain guests, but provide the mum to be with some really useful and personal gifts. Give each guest a babygrow and a pen and let them channel their inner Donatella Versace, creating unique ‘onesies’ that can either be worn, used to decorate the nursery or preserved in a memory box.

A selection of nibbles always goes down well and gone are the days when a few soggy sausage rolls will suffice! If you’re holding the shower in the afternoon then a popular suggestion would be afternoon tea. Who can resist a cute, mini sandwich or a scone loaded up with butter, clotted cream and jam?! If morning is your preferred time, then why not consider a breakfast buffet of muffins and bagels, warm croissants with butter and jam and a selection of fruit? Your drinks menu could include tea and coffee, fresh juices and hot chocolate. For those who want a little tipple, it is perfectly acceptable to serve a Bloody Mary or Bucks Fizz before noon! In the summer months, a barbecue is a great, casual way of serving food and when all is said and done, no one will turn their nose up at a good old fashioned buffet, particularly if you’ve done your research and serve some clever, baby inspired, foods.

RECORDING

ONESIES

They say a picture tells a thousand words so imagine a video! Providing everyone is comfortable with it, snippets of video are an unbeatable way to capture the memories of the day and allow guests who could not be there the chance to see what the mum to be got up to. If Dad’s not invited (or has shied away from proceedings) he too can share the experience and maybe one day, the child can too! Whilst no one’s likely to sit through a three hour recording, clips of the best bits such as the games or present giving will be treasured.

PRESENTS

Now this is a tricky one. One of the main reasons given for not wanting a baby shower is the fear that friends and relatives will view it as a ploy to get presents. Whilst no one’s denying it is nice to receive gifts, that isn’t what it’s all about. If you’re really uncomfortable with it, then why not let guests know that their presence is all that’s required and that the mum to be would prefer it if guests didn’t bring anything. Remember though, that most guests will want to bring a present and you’re probably worrying unnecessarily. A great alternative is to ask every guest to bring a book for the new arrival to start their library. Books are easily accessible, loved by children and parents alike and can be bought for very little money.

q s QUIZ

What’s not to love about a quiz?! A great way to entertain guests, you only have to google ‘baby shower quiz’ and you’ll find hundreds of printable quizzes and ideas for questions online.

SNAPSHOTS

A great icebreaker is to ask all guests to bring a photograph of themselves as babies. Line them up and ask everyone to guess who is who. A sure fire way to get everyone giggling as they see how much people have, or haven’t changed!

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V u x w y t

VENUE

THEME

From eco-friendly to animals, pampering to books, a theme can help with organisation and make the event more streamlined. Does the mum to be have any hobbies or special interests? Perhaps she’s into all things vintage and would love a 50’s style baby shower. For a keen gardener, how about a ‘garden party’ theme or a ‘welcome to the world’ shower for the globe-trotting mum to be. Whatever you decide, allow yourself some flexibility and don’t beat yourself up if not everything matches.

WISHES

UNEXPECTED

Unless you are prepared for your heavily pregnant friend or relative to suddenly go into labour, it probably isn’t a good idea to thrust her into a dark room where 20 people scream surprise! Having said that, a surprise baby shower can be lovely, particularly if the mum to be is reluctant to have one for fear of looking like a ‘gift grabber’. If you do intend to keep it secret, make sure everyone is aware and come up with a believable plan in order to get her to the shower location. Mum’s the word!

A deciding factor in where to hold the baby shower will be how many guests you’re inviting. If the guest list is extensive it may be worth hiring a room or hall somewhere. For a smaller number, an obvious choice is at the mum to be’s home but bear in mind the upheaval and mess this could mean. She may prefer to be in the comfort of her own home but make sure that you corner some invitees to stay behind and clear up afterwards. Alternatively, perhaps it could be held at the organiser’s home? Less hassle for the mum to be, no cost and setting up can be done as and when required.

X-RATED

A risqué shaped cake or a ‘pin the sperm on the egg’ game may be hilarious to the mum to be and her friends but will Great Aunt Margaret find it quite so funny?! Take into consideration who exactly will be attending and plan accordingly.

A really special gift, and one that’s very personal, is a book of wishes and advice. Ask each guest to write one thing they wish for the newborn and one piece of advice they can offer the new parents. This book could then be saved and read only when they bring the baby home or perhaps the first time they’re feeling down due to sleep deprivation and the constant worrying and guilt that seems to come as an unwanted freebie with their little bundle of joy!

YOGA

OK, so admittedly there were not many options for ‘Y’ but yoga isn’t completely ridiculous! Pregnancy yoga, a relatively new craze, is gaining popularity and could be a fun activity with a difference. If there isn’t a yoga buff amongst you then there are an abundance of DVDs that you can purchase, press play and begin to channel your inner peace.

Zzzzz

When you’re heavily pregnant, tiredness is a killer so remember this when you’re looking at timings. No one wants to be playing games for 6 hours whilst the mum to be has fallen asleep in the corner and therefore 2-3 hours will probably be plenty. If you are planning a full day event, make sure there is plenty of opportunity for rest and relaxation.

So there it is, it’s up to you now! We’d love to hear and see how you get on so be sure to send us your pictures and stories to sally@forcespublishing.co.uk or ﬁnd us on Facebook - Just For Families Military Mag Just For Families 15

Nappy Cake HOW TO MAKE A

hilst I believe it’s perfectly acceptable to aimlessly while away hours on sites like Pinterest and YouTube, they’re actually pretty useful and you can make almost anything by following a tutorial. A good job as I’ve been challenged to make a Nappy Cake! After the jokes about my baking skills, or lack of, had subsided, it turned out most people had no idea what one was.

My first task was to roll up the nappies; yes, all 72! Roll them with the open side in so the lines are smooth and place a band around each nappy to stop it from unravelling. Some suggest elastic bands, others say cotton bands, which if I could have sourced at short notice I would have preferred to use, but loom bands are perfect and hold the nappy tight.

After looking on Pinterest and watching a few tutorials, I realised there were many different designs I could use and plenty of different ways to make them. I opted for the traditional rolled nappies, choosing not to follow a set design and just ‘wing it’, or as I like to call it, use my creative flair! It was decided we’d make it for a colleague who was due to have her baby any day and as she hadn’t found out whether it was a boy or a girl yet, I stuck with traditional, neutral colours.

It appears that odd numbers work best and so the bottom tier was made out of 47 nappies and the middle tier had 23. I popped the remaining 2 in the middle of the top tier of vests so you could see all 7 vests clearly. I think the best method is to decide how many you want on the bottom tier, making sure it’s an odd number, divide by two to get the number for your middle tier and round down to give you the next odd number (47 / 2 = 23.5 round down to 23).

I was actually surprised at how cost effective it is. With a budget of £40, I had plenty of change. I purchased:

 1 box of ASDA Little Angels nappies. I bought size 2 (which is 6-13lbs (3-6kgs) and used the whole box of 72!)

    

£6.00

7 short sleeved bodysuits (Monday - Sunday pattern) 0-3 months

£7.50

2 hats

£2.00

A comforter (bear holding a blanket)

£4.00

Red ribbon from Dunelm - make sure it’s thick enough to cover all bands (1.5/2”)

£3.00

Originally I had decided on 31 for the bottom tier and 15 for the middle tier but the top tier of vests was too tall and it looked a little odd. I then made the tiers bigger and it worked out perfectly, number wise, for the amount of nappies I had *phew!*. As I said before, winging it!

Here’s the (not so) technical bit. The tutorials say to place 2 bags of loom bands in the sale from ASDA which were 50p a bag £1.00 the number of nappies decided upon (47) together in a circle, TOTAL £23.50 and place an elastic band around them to hold them in You also need cellophane for wrapping, which I had already, but you can buy it really cheaply place. Unfortunately I didn’t from eBay. have an elastic band to hand

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so opted for the next best thing, my silicone cake mould; round and the perfect size. I’d like to add it was clean - probably as I never bake and you could use anything round... that empty tin of chocolates you demolished at Christmas perhaps?! Having placed all the nappies in the mould, I then tied my ribbon around and removed the mould; cue round of applause! Obviously there are more professional ways to do this but let’s face it, most of us can ‘make do’ and find various implements to help us along the way. I found it best to tie the tiers together with a thinner ribbon first to make sure they were secure. The thicker ribbon comes later to hide all the bands on the nappies and generally make it look pretty.

I later added a ‘contents included’ tag where I highlighted the need to dispose of the little bands appropriately. The thought of a ‘little person’ getting their hands on the loom bands does worry me which is why I would prefer to use a cotton band. I do wonder if they would hold them in place well enough though and this is perhaps something to experiment with. Finished! It did take me quite a while as I am new to this and was working out how to do it as I went. If I was to make another, which I will definitely be doing, I know I will be a lot quicker. Obviously you can change the items you include to suit your budget and could use branded nappies if you preferred but it shows what a beautiful present you can make at home for very little cost. If you are really trying to stick to a tight budget, as long as the ribbon you use is beautiful and bright, you could just use nappies. What a great gift for less than £10.

For the middle tier, repeat the steps above but use 23 nappies. Now for the top tier. The vests were wrapped around cardboard to make sure you could see the design in the packaging. I ummed and arred about taking this out, opting to leave it in in the end to give stability. I popped the two remaining nappies in the centre to avoid mis-shaping and tied the ribbon.

We hope this inspires you to create your own Nappy Cakes. Please send us your pictures to admire!

Some say to place a cardboard circle under the bottom tier of nappies for stability and although I didn’t, if I did it again I would consider it as transportation would be much easier! Next I wrapped around the thicker ribbon which hid all the bands and finished off the tiers. There are so many different types of beautiful ribbon out there, especially if you know whether it’s for a boy or a girl. I really fancied doing it in lime green but as it was a December baby, I opted for traditional red. I placed the two hats between the bottom and middle tiers and placed the teddy bear comforter on top. The most difficult job of this

whole process was wrapping it in cellophane! It definitely brought out an obsessive side to me and kept looking too scruffy for my liking! Although I prefer clean lines, I was pleased with the final product. Having covered it with clear cellophane, I added red heart cellophane at the bottom to bring some colour. I placed a band around the top to hold the cellophane in place and finished it with a ribbon bow.

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magine your partner seeing his baby for the first time on Skype, or having your children’s nursery teacher cut your newborn’s umbilical cord because your husband is in Afghanistan. Or, even, giving birth whilst posted to another country, where the midwives speak a different language. These are real-life scenarios for the many military women who face the ultimate nightmare every serving member of the armed forces, or their

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partner, fears - a deployment clashing with the birth of their child. For Annie Fraser, 39, of Lympstone in Devon it was a bolt from the blue when her husband, Graeme, announced when she was three month’s pregnant, he would be away for the rest of the pregnancy and the due date. “It was a shock,” she explained “because he was in a non-deployable job at the time.” It came as a further blow, because he

had already been deployed straight after the birth of their oldest children, Finlay, now 8, and Evie, 5. Graeme, who is in the Royal Marines, was granted two weeks R&R for the birth of their third child, but things did not go to plan. A false alarm two weeks before the due date meant Graeme took his break too early, and returned to his deployment before the baby had arrived. Although Annie had family support, including her Mum as birthing partner, she

“A false alarm two weeks before the due date meant Graeme took his break too early, and returned to his deployment before the baby had arrived…”

admits she missed Graeme terribly. “It was really hard,” she said. Annie and Graeme spoke by phone during early labour. But it became hard, as the contractions intensified, to continue the conversation. Annie gave birth to a son, Marley, returned home the same evening and introduced her husband to his newborn son via Skype. “It was very surreal as he was living in a flat with two other men, so as I was Skyping, these random blokes kept coming up and saying ‘hello, nice to meet you’,” Annie laughed. As Annie was speaking with Graeme the next morning, her oldest children awoke to find, not only their Dad on Skype, but a new brother. It was a magical moment.

For Sarah Collins,

a 46-year-old dentist, who served in the RAF until three years ago, being in the military created a different set of problems when her daughter, Rebecca, now 11, was born. continued over page >>

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Sarah was posted in Holland at the time and gave birth in a Dutch hospital. While she described the staff as being very professional, she said the language barrier meant she and her husband, Patrick, faced unnecessary fears. “Things were going wrong,” she said, “but the midwives and doctors were discussing it in Dutch, between themselves, and they couldn’t explain it very well to us.” Despite being a medical professional herself, Sarah, said that not being able to speak the language made the experience ‘very scary’. The medical staff suddenly handed her husband some scrubs, gave Sarah an epidural and took her to theatre for c-section. “There was no discussion,” Sarah explained. “It would have been scary in the UK, but this discussion was going on in foreign language and we didn’t understand - and that was the worst thing.” Daughter, Rebecca, arrived safely. And, clearly not scarred by her experience, Sarah went on to have her son, Rory, just over a year later in a Dutch hospital.

Lack of communication

provided a huge difficulty for another set of new parents - Jo and Scott Millthorpe of Taunton, Devon. Jo, 44, one of the original members of the Chivenor Military Wives Choir formed by Gareth Malone, gave birth to her third child whilst her husband, Scott, was deployed in Afghanistan with the Royal Marines. But Scott was only able to call at specific times. The couple were worried, if the baby was born after one of his calls, most of their friends and family would know of the birth before he did.

20 Just For Families

In fact, Scott had the choice of departing during the early or late part of the pregnancy. But, due to possible complications, Jo decided she would prefer her husband’s support in the first few months. “I thought he would be more of an emotional support if I miscarried. And I needed him there for the amniocentesis, in case we had to make any joint decisions.” Jo, who has two older boys - Sonny, now 8, and Ronnie, 6 - asked her sons’ nursery teacher, Jo Reid, to be her birthing partner. She reveals she couldn’t have chosen a better person. “I have to be honest,” admits Jo, “we had a right laugh! And Jo said she would have paid money to have such a good night out!” Having a friend, and someone who had been through childbirth, at her side worked perfectly. The only concern was whether the baby would be born in time for Scott to hear the news. Baby Judd, however, was born at 7.28am and both Jo and her friend cut the umbilical cord together. Scott knew, by 7.50am, that he had a new son, who they later named Judd. Jo remains pragmatic about Scott’s deployment. “Yes, it’s different when they are not there,” she admits, “but he knows he can leave me with anything when he goes away and he knows I can cope. “You just think of how proud they are going to be knowing you’ve done it without them there and give yourself a big pat on the back.” Equally as positive was Eugenie Tomlin, 38, of West Byfleet, Surrey. Her husband, Lt Col Neil Tomlin, an infantry officer, was on operations in Iraq for the birth of their first child, Lara,

now 10. “When you marry into the forces, you expect times of separation and when it happens during hugely significant events in your life, it certainly isn’t ideal and it certainly is bad timing. But it is what it is, and you have to try very hard to make the best of it,” she said. When Eugenie discovered Neil would not be at Lara’s birth she coped by embracing the status quo. “I looked for as many positives as I could knowing that I would regret it if I looked back on that time and realised I had whiled it away waiting,” she explained. Eugenie, who now also has an eight-year-old son, Rory, chose her sister, Anne-Marie, as her birthing partner. Lara was born before Skype and digital photography, so Eugenie captured her early moments

for Neil by taking photos, developed at Boots, and with a call on a “crackly satellite phone”. Eugenie advises other mums-to-be in this situation to share any overwhelming feelings, depression or stress with other military wives and to choose a birthing partner who truly loves and knows them. She adds: “And focus less on the time that your husband is away, but more on the period of huge excitement when he returns.”

All women interviewed are members of military wives choirs. For more information about joining a choir go to www. militarywiveschoirs.org

Worry with Mother

Dad Disasters

101 Neuroses for the Modern Mama (RRP £9.99)

When Dads Go Bad (RRP £9.99)

Francesca Hornak

New Mums – are you camp Gina Ford or Penelope Leach? Do you get that 3am panic when you think your baby isn’t breathing and you hold a mirror up to their mouth to check for their breath? Or, what about the time you forgot that you’d put your three-year old son on the naughty step and left him there for an hour; distracted by an email upstairs. Worrying doesn’t stop with babies or toddlers…what about the teenagers in your house? Do you let them know that you secretly wait up for them when they go out at night or, that you’ve created a different Facebook account so that you can stalk them in secret? Maternal anxiety is nothing new. It’s just that mothers today are bombarded with more tips, advice, goals and checklists than ever before. Francesca Hornak captures some of the madness of modern mothering in this entertaining new book that is a welcome slice of light relief for mums everywhere. Francesca Hornak is a new mum and has experienced many of these neuroses. She is a journalist and writer, whose work has appeared in newspapers and magazines including The Sunday Times, The Guardian, Marie Claire, Red, Grazia and Stylist. Her column History of the World in 100 Modern Objects first appeared in The Sunday Times Style Magazine in 2013, and ran for 2 years. She lives in Islington, London and is the author of The History of the World in 100 Modern Objects.

Ian Allen

Disasters are terrible things: the sinking of the Titanic, the crash of the Hindenburg, the collapse of the Tay Bridge, etc. – not funny at all. But Dad Disasters are a completely different kettle of fishfingers. From DIY debacles to motoring mishaps, your typical Dad is highly skilled in putting his foot in it in a variety of hilarious ways. Dad Disasters contains a wealth of stories from around the world illustrating the daft things Dads can get up to without even trying, and the disastrous situations famous Dads have created. Plus, a collection of the silliest things ever done by ordinary Dads to put their own stamp on family history. And, of course, no book for Dads would be complete without a sprinkling of jokes old and new about dopey Dads and their travails. Whether the Dad in your life is a seasoned veteran with all the campaign medals or a terrified new recruit who still doesn’t know which way up the baby goes, this is the perfect book for him. A multifarious collection of cock-ups, fiascos and debacles that all have one thing in common – Dads. Packed with stories, jokes and how-notdo-it guides ideal as a warning to Dads and prospective Dads everywhere of the pitfalls fatherhood brings

Giveaway! Pavilion Books have two copies of ‘Worry with Mother’ and ‘Dad Disasters’ to give away to our readers! For your chance to nab a copy of one of these great reads simply send us your name and address either via email to competitions@forcespublishing.co.uk or in the post to: Forces & Corporate Publishing Ltd, Hamblin House, Hamblin Court, Rushden, Northants NN10 0RU Closing date 25/05/16

Ian Allen recently withdrew from the human race after being lapped for the third time by his children, and is now a professional Dad. He isn’t anywhere near as funny as he thinks he is, which is quite tragic because even he doesn’t think he’s particularly funny. His books of other people’s jokes, however, have been known to provoke the odd chuckle.

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Postnatal Depression I

t is funny how giving birth can make us so much more outspoken about our bodies. Having lost all our dignity giving birth, we suddenly become quite open to telling anyone who happens to cross our post-natal paths about our piles, and how painful it is to go to the loo. We will quite happily discuss cracked nipples and have no qualms about sending our partners off to Asda to buy maternity pads, with a graphic account of why we need them. Yet, despite being so candid about our physical ailments, few of us are keen to talk about the emotional and mental side effects of pregnancy, birth and the overwhelming responsibility of parenting. Postnatal depression (PND) is not usually something we bring up when we meet our ante-natal group for coffee. We want to be seen to be in control, holding it together and being ‘a good mum’. Even so much as alluding to the fact we might be struggling to get through the day, finding something as simple as making a sandwich an insurmountable challenge, and not enjoying this gorgeous bundle of joy, would be akin to failure. In fact so reluctant are women to

22 Just For Families

discuss this quite common side-effect of having a baby that experts suspect statistics on the number of sufferers are huge underestimates. NHS figures suggest around one in every ten new mums suffer postnatal depression. Charity, PANDAS (pre and postnatal depression advice and support), said smaller studies show it could be as many as one in seven. Sarah Beeson, a former nurse and health visitor, also agrees the figures are more likely to be higher than one in ten. For, very sadly, there is a stigma attached to postnatal depression – like many other illnesses – which not only prevent women from coming forward to seek help but, often, inhibit them from even admitting to themselves there is a problem. “Postnatal depression, generally, is much higher than we realise because women either don’t want to say they have it, or don’t get an opportunity to say,” said Sarah, who is also author of Happy Baby, Happy Family. But there are other factors, which Sarah believes provide a barrier to women coming forward. For one, there is a misconception that postnatal depression is suffered only by women

with newborn babies. In fact, Sarah believes the illness can occur in women whose babies are up to nine or ten months old and sometimes, even, in mums with toddlers. “Often it’s seen in mothers with new babies,” she explained, “but usually it’s when the baby is three, four or five months old that postnatal depression can start.” And it’s this misconception that discourages women from opening up to their health visitor, doctors or families – they believe they shouldn’t be feeling depressed at this stage. Anyone, in any situation, from any background can get postnatal depression. Sarah said some women, maybe those who have lots of family nearby and seem to have a strong support network in place, often think they don’t deserve to seek help. But, said Sarah, everyone who recognises the signs should be frank and seek help, because support is there for all. But while anyone can suffer, there are certain groups of women who are more vulnerable to postnatal depression, and this includes those whose partners are in the armed forces.

“25% of women whose husbands were deployed suffered from PND compared with 10% of women whose husbands were not…”

In the United States, academic research has been undertaken to find out more about mental health amongst members of the armed forces and their families, including one particular study published in the Journal of Reproductive Medicine in November 2008. It found women whose partners were deployed during their pregnancy scored higher on the Edinburgh Post Natal Depression Scale (EPDS) – the screening used by professionals to identify postnatal depression – than those whose husbands were at home. Women whose husbands were deployed, the study found, were more likely to be screened positively for postnatal depression than those with partners by their side. In fact 25 per cent of women whose husbands were deployed suffered from PND compared with ten per cent of women whose husbands were not.

continued over page

Just For Families 23

Postnatal Depression But it’s not just the absence of the father-to-be at such a crucial time that contributes to PND. Sarah, who has worked with military spouses, said women whose husbands or partners are deployed will naturally endure stress, worry and fear through their separation, without pregnancy or babies being in the equation.

“Some women can’t say anything. They can’t say it because that makes it real.” But Sarah believes that by actually admitting to these feelings, sharing them and discussing them you are helping yourself on to the road to recovery.

Add to this, the huge responsibility of having a new baby, the isolation of being apart from family and friends and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Yet the duty military spouses feel to stay strong and keep a home together for their absent husbands often means they are reluctant to admit to being depressed, or anxious. “It all falls on the women.” said Sarah, “The childcare, housework, keeping things together. Plus there’s all the worry. It’s almost as if they are not allowed to express feelings of isolation, stress and anxiety.”

The Signs of Postnatal Depression: So, what are the signs? Of course they may vary from woman to woman, and symptoms can range vastly from feeling a little bit down to severe anxiety and suicidal thoughts. Women with PND often feel they are not getting any enjoyment from life, they may have stopped laughing at things they once found funny. Some women find it difficult to concentrate, but also might blame themselves for minor mishaps, saying “I am so stupid” and unnecessarily putting themselves down. They might be feeling anxious, worried or stressed and may feel as if everything is getting on top of them. Simple tasks, like putting on a load of washing or getting dressed, might feel overwhelming. Some PND sufferers have problems sleeping, they may feel sad and find themselves crying frequently. There’s often a general feeling of unhappiness, low selfconfidence, and loss of interest in the world around them. Some women may feel they want to harm themselves. Whatever the symptoms, however, the message is to tell someone, talk about how you are feeling and get help.

How to get help…

Speak to friends, family, people you

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trust. Make an appointment with your doctor or health visitor and explain how you feel. Sarah explained that health visitors can refer women to specialists such as community psychiatric nurses who, in some areas, can visit you at home to help get treatment underway. Doctors, meanwhile, can prescribe anti-depressants and refer patients for counselling or on a course of cognitive behavioural therapy. But there are lots of other ways actually speaking out can help you. Sarah explained that there may be support in your area from charity Homestart which provides volunteers – who are all parents themselves – to help look after the kids while you have a rest, do some housework or accompanying you on trips. In some areas there are PND support groups.

and go on to have lasting friendships.” Activities such as yoga can help with depression – some yoga teachers run classes where mums can bring their babies. Sarah also advises using relaxation CDs or DVDs and treating yourself to a spa day or back massage to provide some respite from the everyday strains. Finally, if you happen to be reading this and think a friend or family member might be suffering from postnatal depression you may be wondering how to approach them about the subject. Sarah suggests opening a dialogue with them, rather than just asking “how are you?”

“As a health visitor, I would never just ask someone how they were because By speaking to friends, particularly those people generally always say they are with babies the same age, you may find well. Instead I would ask them what sort someone else who is the same situation. of week they had. This opens a dialogue and gives them permission to open up Sarah said: “I have spoken to women and not have to put on a front.” who see other mums with babies and think ‘they know what they are doing’ but often those other women are looking PANDAS – 0843 28 98 402 (phone lines open 9am to 8pm at her and thinking exactly the same. Monday to Sunday) http://www. “When you are in the same boat there is a bond and support and often women pandasfoundation.org.uk/ going through PND can help each other

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My blog is a place to vent, share and celebrate the highs and lows of marriage and motherhood! Join me on my journey.

www.thesailorprincessandi.blogspot.co.uk

Welcome To

The Life of A Sailor’s Wife My name is Maya and I am a Sailor’s wife. I am also a mummy to my little princess who is 16 weeks old.

Fast forward 5 years and we’ve been married for 2 and a half; with a nearly 3 year old pooch called Rupert and a little Princess.

Right now, I feel as though, the two aforementioned statuses define me. Somehow the 29 year old girl, with a degree in Interior Design and Masters in Textiles, is vac-packed away, along with my size 12 clothes, which no longer fit me. Im left still wearing my maternity jeans; covered in baby sick and trying to think of a million different business ventures, which may somehow catapult me in to this entrepreneurial reality; which I always thought I’d have.

This is where the fairytale ends!

Being a Sailor’s wife is not something, which I ever wanted to be but then I met my Sailor. We met in one of the more obscure places - Mutley Baptist Church. 6 months before we were

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officially introduced, our eyes met across the room- like a proper cliche. When we were finally introduced by a mutual friend, a relationship began in an instant. Any military WAG will probably have a similar tale to tell. We act fast! In the space of 2 weeks, The Sailor and I had been on a couple of dates, he had met my parents and been for dinner and we had decided to be a couple. He then deployed for 4 months. It was a whirlwind romance and we sent emails and blueys. I sent care packages and he sent love letters, splashed in cologne (no, I’m not joking). I was living my very own fairytale. Surely when he returned, he would whisk me off my feet?!

Somehow the reality of being married to a Sailor just doesn’t live up to any expectation of marriage that I may have previously had. The life of a Sailor’s wife is a strange one. Think, missing your husband desperately when they are gone but wanting to throttle them when they are home. Also, knowing that they are meticulous when it comes to the ironing and the cleaning at work but definitely not seeing the fruits of that labour. So far, I have lived through a 4 month and 6 month deployment; with him doing several sea trials on the run up to

the birth of our daughter. We have lived in separate cities for 12 months, where we split our time between London and Birmingham and we now reside in Plymouth, which is where we met. Just this week, my Sailor has moved to Gosport for an 18 month course, where he is training to be a Petty Officer. That’s right....He is there and I am here. Supposedly to hold the fort and keep it all together. ...I am not keeping it together! I can cope, Im fine. Im a smart, independent woman. I’ve done it before but this time I have a baby!!! How can something so small, impact you so greatly? She is such a blessing to my life but I am losing my s**t! Looking after a dog and a baby is the biggest challenge in life! I want to tear my hair out and it’s only been 4 days! The

“The life of a Sailor’s wife is a strange one. Think, missing your husband desperately when they are gone but wanting to throttle them when they are home” Sailor will be home tomorrow for the weekend and then he will leave again... every week for bloody 18 months!!!! With every day that passes I am slowly becoming a shadow of my former self. The hilarity is that the Sailor doesn’t do much when he is at home but the reality clearly shows that he does even more than I realise. So that’s me...the slightly stress headed mother, just trying to keep

it all together. A snippet in to my life and the realities, ups and downs of being a military wife and mummy. I’m honest and not afraid to expose the things that others are too scared to say out loud- e.g, sometimes having responsibilities for other people (e.g. kids, pets, husbands) just sucks- bad! Sometimes I want to jack it all in and be with someone who doesn’t go away for months at a time. Sometimes I want just frigging 30 minutes to myself, to do, well nothing!

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Serving parents haven’t missed the boat if the school admissions deadline has passed... Service Personnel who have missed the local authority October schools admission deadline can still apply for a state boarding school place – and their applications will be given a higher priority if they qualify for the MOD’s Continuity of Education Allowance (CEA). That’s the message the State Boarding Schools’ Association (SBSA) is giving forces families who often find themselves in a worrying position when they know their circumstances may change before the start of the new school year. To apply for a state day school, parents must list their preferred schools on a local authority application form by the October 31 deadline. State boarding is available through 38 schools across the UK. Tuition is provided by the state, meaning that parents only need to pay for boarding, typically around £4,000 per term, well below the maximum CEA. However, most local authorities rarely deal with state boarding school applications and sometimes give confusing advice to parents. Whilst the admissions process for boarding applications is supposed to be the same for state day and state boarding schools, the reality is that it just doesn’t work that way. In fact, many state boarding schools set their pupil admissions numbers (PAN) to cater for the changing needs of service personnel, which means that many of the larger schools will have boarding places available even in the summer before the Year 7 September intake. As a result, they can receive late applications after the October deadline and indeed after March when all day-school places have been allocated. Applications for other year groups will be accepted at any time of year before the start of Year 10. To apply for state boarding, parents must complete an application through their local

authority or the school’s local authority if they live abroad. A separate application form must also be completed for the boarding school itself. However, a late application for state boarding doesn’t mean a child will go to the back of the admissions list. Parents who qualify for the CEA will be prioritised over applications for children of civilian parents, regardless of whether they live in the same county as their chosen school, elsewhere in the UK or overseas. Once the application has been submitted the child must also undergo an assessment to determine their suitability for boarding, which will include a face-to-face or skype interview and a boarding reference from their current school. Some schools are selective so the child will also need to pass an entrance exam, but this will be explained on the individual schools’ admissions criteria. Paul Spencer Ellis, chairman of the SBSA and headmaster at the Royal Alexandra and Albert School in Surrey, said: “Few counties have a state boarding school so most local authorities have little or no experience

of dealing with boarding admissions and parents are frequently advised that they cannot apply for a boarding place after October. That simply isn’t the case. “Yes, our day school places fill up fast and boarding places at some of the specialist MOD and smaller schools go by March, but the majority of larger state boarding schools will still have places until the summer because they aim to cater to the needs of parents, such as Service Personnel, whose circumstances can change radically over the course of a year.” As well as applying for state senior school boarding, it is also possible to apply for state Sixth Form boarding after the deadline. Many places at state Sixth Form boarding schools are allocated under a conditional offer, which means they are dependent on the pupil achieving certain exam results. Come results day, the situation can change and sixth forms that were full can suddenly have places available.

For advice on applying for state boarding or for more information, visit www.sbsa.org.uk where you can also download a free Parent’s Guide.

Thousands Of Parents Benefit From 30 Hours’ Free Childcare Early Working parents to receive double the current amount of free childcare for 3- and 4-year-olds.

Childcare Minister Sam Gyimah has today (2 February 2016) announced £13 million, which will allow councils across the country to deliver 30 hours of free childcare for hard working parents of 3- and 4-year-olds - a year ahead of schedule. As a result, some working parents in Wigan, Staffordshire, Swindon, Portsmouth, Northumberland, York, Newham and Hertfordshire will now benefit from the early offer from this September. The extra hours of childcare will make it easier for these parents to work and is another move designed to meet the government’s commitment to make work pay. Education Secretary Nicky Morgan said: For too long, rising childcare costs have been a barrier preventing parents and particularly mothers from working. That’s why I’m delighted that in just a few months’ time, we will see the first families benefiting from the government’s offer of 30 hours’ free childcare for working parents. We have made a commitment to help

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working people, and through this extended offer we will help thousands more parents who want to return to work to do so. The government will also be looking at the issues that make it difficult for parents with particular challenges to access childcare, including special educational needs and disability. The core group of councils will be supported by 25 others, who will look specifically at innovative ways of making sure childcare is accessible to as many parents as possible. Their experiences will then be used to support the full rollout in 2017, with the aim of removing significant barriers to parents taking up their entitlement. Childcare Minister Sam Gyimah said: I know how important childcare is from my own personal experience, and I couldn’t be more determined to make sure we give children the best start in life, support parents to work, and as a result, allow our country to prosper. I’m pleased that we are investing in childcare, and I’m looking forward to seeing how working parents benefit

from 30 hours’ free childcare, before we roll the offer out to the rest of the country. All 3- and 4-year-olds are already entitled to 15 hours of free childcare a week, and this is also extended to the most disadvantaged 2-year-olds. Last year, more than 1 million 3- and 4-yearolds, and 157,000 2-year-olds benefited from this offer. The government is now going further than ever before, and will provide an additional 15 free hours to working parents of 3- and 4-year-olds from September 2017 - delivering on a key manifesto pledge As part of this government’s commitment to helping hardworking people, we will be investing more than £1 billion extra per year by 2019 to 2020 to fund the extension of the free childcare entitlement. The Department for Education will also be piloting a new contract with councils, and consulting on a fairer funding formula for the early years, to help ensure that local authorities are passing the money on to providers, and that providers are given a fair rate.

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PARENTING

IN THE FORCES Tips on helping your child deal with the absence of a parent…

t is very natural to worry about the impact that one parent being away from the family will have on your child, in particular a parent that is deployed and away for long periods of time. Children are actually far more adaptable than they are usually given credit for and as long as the absence of a parent is handled in the correct way – your child will flourish and become a strong and independent mini you, with a good understanding of what it means for Mummy or Daddy to be away from home. In child psychology, there have been many studies on the impact of a deployed parent on the child, however often these studies find that there are even advantages to this situation including the ability to understand and respond to changing family circumstances, increased independence and self-esteem of the child and increased social relationships with other members of the community. It is often the way in which the parent deals with the separation that will determine how well the child adapts. Children are like sponges for emotions and can detect anxieties and upset in their parents without the parent obviously showing signs of these feelings. It is therefore very important that the parent left behind remains strong and confident in their ability to parent alone. There are numerous things that you can do for your child in order for your child to function well during the deployment of one parent including; • Build up to the deployment of the parent by talking about what is happening in advance. Children function better and have higher self-

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esteem and confidence when they know what is ahead of them – often parents assume that by talking too much about an upsetting event, it will upset the child however a child who is kept in the dark is more likely to have a negative reaction to the event. Discuss what is ahead together as a family, make up or read stories about similar situations and use role play with toys to act out scenarios that your child might be anxious about. Role play using your child’s favourite toy is one of the most effective ways to get younger children to understand a situation and have confidence in how to act during that event when it arises. • Keep a routine for your child that remains the same when the parent gets deployed. This might be childcare, nursery, a nanny or just a daily routine that involves play and eating at various

“It is often the way in which the parent deals with the separation that will determine how well the child adapts…”

times. Children thrive on having some sort of structure and a child who experiences change will cling to familiar things to make them feel safe and secure. • Involve family and friends in your daily life – not only to give your child the chance to build up other meaningful relationships with other people but also to help support yourself practically and emotionally. Being a single parent for any number of days is tough, so gaining support from those around you will contribute not only to a happier and less stressed parent but also your child will feel happy and content with people who love him around. • Allowing your child to communicate regularly with the parent that has been deployed will help them feel a sense of involvement in the deployment process.

Modern technology today means that keeping in touch and actually seeing a video of their parent is possible – so use this to your advantage. Your child can maintain a relationship with their parent by speaking regularly and also by writing letters or keeping diaries so that they can remember and reflect on things they have done when the other parent has been gone. Younger children may not be able to write but can certainly communicate by voice and even if your child is an infant an unable to talk, hearing the voice of their other parent that they are used to will help keep their memory fresh for their arrival home.

and maintain a happy home, your child will flourish and you can cherish those special family times you do have when everyone is together.

For any questions on Parenting, Behaviour and Discipline or coping as a single parent, contact The Parent and Baby Coach 0330 6600 204 or email heidi@theparentandbabycoach.com

Parenting in the forces can be one of the most challenging full time jobs you will ever have to do, but rest assured that as long as you are confident and calm about your partner’s deployments

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Escape to Lightwater Valley and discover the excitement of over 40 rides and attractions set amidst 175 acres of glorious North Yorkshire countryside, with adventures for the whole family. Take on a day out packed with thrills, chills and adventure in Lightwater Valley Theme Park, choose to run wild on the UK’s largest Angry Birds Activity Park or head to the Lightwater Falconry Centre to see over 50 amazing birds, mammals and reptiles. Our mini adventurers can jump aboard one of our Eagle’s Creek Farm tractors for a fun and entertaining journey around our farm, or enjoy sliding and hanging around in our brand-new Funkey Monkey’s Soft Play & Café (Opening May 2016). Our mega adventurers can choose to shoot the raging water of the Wild River Rapids, brave the terrifying Falls of Terror or climb aboard The Flying Cutlass for some tummy tickling pirate fun. For our ultimate adventurers with nerves of steel you can be thrown in the air in the grip of our Eagle’s Claw and hurtle through some of our deepest, darkest forest aboard Europe’s longest roller coaster - The Ultimate. Open every day this Easter from 23rd March, Lightwater Valley is a full day adventure for the whole family; we offer great value for money and you’ll even find FREE parking!

Book online at www.lightwatervalley.co.uk to save over 30% this Easter!

Win A Family Ticket To Lightwater Valley Theme Park In North Yorkshire Lightwater Valley would like to offer one lucky ‘Just for Families’ reader a family pass for 5 people, along with some front of queue tickets, worth £190! For your chance to win all you have to do is answer the following question...

What is Europe’s longest roller coaster called? Send your answer, along with your name, address and telephone number to competitions@forcespublishing.co.uk or in the post to Forces & Corporate Publishing Ltd, Hamblin House, Hamblin Court, Rushden, Northants, NN10 0BN Closing date 25/05/16

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Click Click, Buckle Up Quick!

Jo believes any child can replicate this, advocating all parents of young children should teach them this vital life saving skill. Any carer of young children could have an accident or become incapacitated through illness at home and they would have only young children to assist them. Jo (a recently retired Police Officer) recognises the dangers children are faced with and embarked on a mission to educate children through a story. Jo’s first book ‘Adventure in an Ambulance’ teaches children how/when (when not to!) call 999 in a medical emergency. A life saving skill all children should know. Jo has co-written further safety books with her daughter (now 8) who also thrives in the knowledge that she too can help save more lives. Jo and Isabelle’s new book, ‘Click Click, Buckle Up Quick’ is about car safety and aims to teach young children about the importance of seat belts and car seats. As a parent herself Jo knows only too well the challenges many parents face with children in cars.

Whenever you travel in a car, wear your seat belt every time. Buckling up at the start of every journey is the single most important thing a family can do to stay safe in their car. No matter how short your journey is - even if it is only around the corner - you still need to buckle up. Why risk your life? Many parents experience seat belt traumas from determined little children who do not wish to be strapped in their seats! Author Jo Keeling recalls how horrifying it was to see her little escapologist in her rear view mirror whilst trying to maintain concentration driving on a busy road. Negotiating with a 3 year old was somewhat tricky when they had no idea how unsafe this was. Izzy and Ollie’s latest adventure aims to help children understand the importance of in-car safety. Seat belts save lives. It takes seconds to buckle up, why wouldn’t you?

Near tragedy, led to a little girl saving her Mum’s life, and sparking the idea for a life saving project. Isabelle, then 2 years old, called 999 whilst Mum Jo was having a severe allergic reaction and nearly died…

ompetition!

For your chance to win a copy of “Click Click, Buckle Up Quick!” send your name, address and phone number to competitions@forcespublishing. co.uk or write to Forces & Corporate Publishing Ltd, Hamblin House, Hamblin Court, Rushden, Northamptonshire NN10 0RU. Closing date: 25/05/16 Both books are available from many online retailers and www.izzyandollie. com Please visit the site for more information. Donations from sales of this book will be made to Breast Cancer Now. Contact Jo Keeling at info@izzyandollie.com

Just For Families 39

If deployment, work commitments or other emergencies leave you with a childcare crisis, you neednâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be left high and dry. Flexible or long-term options might be limited, but there are some solutions for armed forces familiesâ&#x20AC;Ś

The

Challenge of

Childcare 40 Just For Families

hildcare is probably one of the biggest challenges faced by parents today. For families in the Army, Navy or Royal Air Force things can be even more problematic thanks to the added hindrance of deployments, exercises and shift work. And while juggling the day-to-day childcare demands of a nine-to-five job is tricky enough, finding a solution to caring for children for extended periods is positively unworkable for many families who can be left in a hopeless situation. If you are a single parent, or a working mum who is required to travel for work during your partner’s deployment, or if you have ever had to go to hospital for a few days while your husband is away you’ll probably have faced this puzzle yourself. The sad fact is, longer-term, flexible childcare solutions for armed forces families are thin on the ground. It’s a problem which the RAF Families Federation (RAF FF) is all too aware of. And it is currently gathering evidence on the situation. Its last survey into childcare, carried out in 2015, was in response to observations that the problem was becoming an “increasingly significant factor” in people’s lives. The results of its survey revealed the extent of childcare challenges faced by RAF families. Over 50% of families cited the cost as their most onerous problem, while 9% revealed deployment caused them the biggest headache. Indeed, finding out-of-hours cover also emerged as a big issue for families, with 16% of respondents saying this was the most challenging thing about the current childcare provision. Interestingly, the survey asked serving lone parents what childcare arrangements they made during deployment. Most in that situation got help from family or ‘external’ childcare sources, such as friends. Some had to pay for childcare from ‘external’ sources. In some cases, families have had to turn down deployments or civilian work commitments due to the lack of childcare support. One anonymous respondent to the RAF FF survey said: “My wife is currently unemployed due to a number of reasons. She is a nurse working within the NHS and, as you can imagine, this involves shifts; “Prolonged separation for courses, and spending 13 months away from my parent unit for pre-deployment and operation deployments, make her employment untenable. Employers support where they can but suddenly demanding 13 months off due to last minute deployments, or the regular cancelling of shifts due to me being ‘on call’ is an impossible situation.”

to support families with access to nursery provision, particularly when you’re living so far from the extended family network.” The Army Families Federation (AFF) said, in its experience, many families solved the problems of extended childcare either by sending children to boarding school, using family members such as grandparents or, if just a few days, asking friends nearby for help. For families in the navy there is the Naval Nanny Service, which offers more flexibility than mainstream childcare, including emergency and irregular childcare. Naval Nannies are provided through the Royal Navy & Royal Marines (RNRM) Children’s Fund, which can also subsidise the cost for families with limited means. The nannies, who are all registered, thoroughly checked and accredited, step in if a parent needs overnight care whilst they attend a course. They can also help when a child cannot go to school, nursery or childminder because they are unwell, or their place of care has closed down for the day. They will also help if a parent has early or late meetings. Although they do not cover extended periods or deployment, the RNRM Children’s Fund will provide support to cover the financial costs to families, in extenuating circumstances, requiring long-term childcare. For more information visit http:// rnrmchildrensfund.org.uk/

“Many families solved the problems of extended childcare either by sending children to boarding school, using family members such as grandparents or, if just a few days, asking friends nearby for help”

While some people believe the civilian family member’s employer should offer support to families in this situation, others also think it’s time for the MOD to step up to the task. Another anonymous respondent said: “I think the MOD should do more

Another organisation that have noticed the difficulties modern life, long hours and shift work can have on family life is Freckles Childcare, which has launched a unique, flexible childcare solution for busy families. It’s a civilian company, but is run by Jo Chavasse, who hopes to extend the service to armed forces families and who is more than a little familiar with the challenges faced in military life. Jo’s father is a retired army major who served with the Royal Green Jackets (now 4 Rifles). She explained: “I have experienced firsthand what it is like when one parent goes away,” she said, “as I grew up with my Dad frequently away on tour and my Mum in need of more support. Now, we live in a society where many families do not live near their extended family, we see many parents isolated and in need of help but with no idea who to reach out to.”

It was this concern, coupled with her observations of family life picked up working in childcare herself that triggered Joanna into launching Freckles Childcare. It provides ‘Kayas’ to work with busy families on a long or short term basis, full or parttime to do a combination of childcare and housekeeping. Kaya is the native American term for “elder sibling”. The idea is they fulfil the role an older brother or sister might play in a household - supporting parents to allow them to spend quality time with their children. However, they also provide flexible support which could be the solution to many

Just For Families 41

military family’s childcare problems. Jo said Freckles could also support families who required care for an extended period, outside of normal nine-to-five working hours. “In this situation,” she said, “we would work with the family to place someone on a short-term and full-time basis to look after the children as the parent at home travelled for work, for example. “However, if the parent at home needed ongoing help and support during their other half’s deployment then we would look to find someone for the longer term who can support them on a part-time basis. But, equally, who could step in if the parent needs to travel.This is a preferable set up for our candidates as it’s ongoing but it is still possible to find someone for the short term. With regards to length of employment, six months is perfectly possible for a part-time role.” The Kayas are usually between the ages of 20 and 28. This means, Jo believes, they won’t be so set in their way with regards to how childcare

‘should be done’, which allows them to be moulded into the family they are working for and be a supportive influence. All Kayas must be over 18, and undergo enhanced DBS checks and must supply three references. They also receive training which includes paediatric first aid, food hygiene certificates and Freckles-developed modules. Freckles charges £1,200 finders and assurance for a full-time Kaya (working 25 hours or more per week) and also for a long term placement (12 weeks or more). This is paid in two instalments. For long-term, but part-time placements, Freckles pro rata the full-time fee down to a minimum of £600 depending on hours. Short-term placements, such as holiday cover, cost £100, plus £10 per week of employment.

Freckles: “We would work with the family to place someone on a short-term and full-time basis to look after the children as the parent at home travelled for work, for example.”

Jo added: “As a company we strongly identify with families that are isolated from their extended family and even have a few clients where we have simply instigated and now manage a relationship with a Kaya for them on an ad hoc basis for evenings babysitting and the odd day cover.” For more information visit www. freckleschildcare.co.uk

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Getting Creative is Ezee Beady with John Adams! John Adams Leisure Ltd launches Ezee Beads, the colourful shapes that magically stick together with water! Brand new for 2016, John Adams introduces the eZee Beads range, an easy peazy way to get crafty and create colourful models using just beads and water! Simply select a design card, push the beads onto the pegs of the tray and spray with water. Leave them to dry and then carefully remove from the tray to reveal your finished eZee Bead design! Each eZee Beads basic set (SSP £4.99) includes four design cards and over 400 coloured beads so that each design is truly unique. Get greenfingered with the eZee Beads Garden Bugs & Flowers range, make your own adorable four legged friends with eZee Beads Pets or dive into a colourful aquarium with eZee Beads Under the Sea, featuring dolphins, turtles, seahorses and fish! The eZee Beads large sets (SSP £9.99) are perfect for impressing your friends! Each set includes large designs and over 800 beads. Create beautiful, colourful butterflies with eZee Beads Butterflies or make fun decorations and keyrings for your BFFs with eZee Beads Charms. Step into a fairy tale world with eZee Beads Princesses - which comes complete with two princesses and a castle - or create the horse of your dreams with eZee Beads Ponies. Always wanted to own a penguin? Well now you can with eZee Beads 3D Animal Friends (SSP £14.99)! Animal lovers can create their own 3D pet, with four innovative 3D designs and over 1,200 beads. Animal Friends allows you to make a range of colourful animals including a penguin, a chick, a fox and even a pink tortoise!

Make something extra special with the eZee Beads Studio Set (SSP £19.99). Complete with carry-case studio, design sheet, bead tool, water sprayer and 10 different bead colours, the Studio Set has everything an eZee Bead lover could possibly need! The studio includes a design sheet to get you started but once you’ve found your feet you can create your own individual creations and let your imagination run wild! www.johnadams.co.uk

Win! The folks over at John Adams have teamed up with Just For Families to offer a whopping 12 readers the chance to win their very own eZee Beads set!

We have... 2x eZee Beads Garden Bugs and Flowers 2x eZee Beads Pets 2x eZee Beads Under the Sea 2x eZee Beads Ponies 2x eZee Beads Giant Butterflies 2x eZee Beads Charms ...waiting to be won! For your chance to win, all you have to do is answer the following question...

Name one of the colourful animals you can make with eZee Beads 3D Animal Friends Send us your answer either via email to competitions@forcespublishing. co.uk or in the post to: Forces & Corporate Publishing Ltd, Hamblin House, Hamblin Court, Rushden, Northants NN10 0RU Closing date 25/05/16

Just For Families 43

s e p i r t S Left to Right: Reversible Gilet from Next £22.00 Harry Hot Air Balloon Stripe Sweat from Monsoon £20.00 Stripy Dress from Marks & Spencer £18.00

Checks Left to Right: Blue Check Short Sleeve Shirt from Mini at River Island £10.00 Gingham Shirt from Next £11.00 Check Long Sleeve Shirt from Next £8.00 Model Shot: Cherokee Boys Green Check Shirt from Argos £12.00

44 Just For Families

Model Shot: Stripe Dress from Heatons £11.00

l a r o Fl Left to Right:

Model Shot: Spring Mead Printed Mac from F&F at Tesco from £11.00 Floral Shorts from Next £13.00 Octavia Dress from Monsoon £34.00 Floral Dress & Tights Set from Marks & Spencer £16.00

Polkadot Left to Right:

2 Pack Spot Heart Dresses from Primark £5.00 Spotty Dress from Marks & Spencer £18.00 Polka Dot Jumpsuit from Marks & Spencer £20.00 Model Shot: Cream Jumper Leggings Outfit from Mini Campaign at River Island £20.00

Just For Families 45

Tips for dealing with

fussy eaters

It’s those two words every parent fears. After several hours, slaving away in the kitchen, lovingly preparing and cooking a nutritious meal, you serve up your culinary masterpiece only to be greeted with a resounding: “Yuk! Disgusting!” Yes, we have all been there. From the baby who refuses to latch on, to the toddler who throws his mashed potatoes at the wall in abomination, to the child who decides they will only eat sausages, bananas and nothing else. As parents, we will all – at some point – have gone through the frustration and upset of having a child who either won’t eat, or won’t eat certain things. And by certain things, it’s usually vegetables, lean meat, or nutritious casseroles and never chocolate, cake and Haribo. (Funny, that). But, the fact is, whatever food ‘issues’ you are going through with your children, you are not alone. In fact, you are going through a text book stage of parenting because fussy eating is part of a child’s development. Rosie Letts, a nutritional therapist and director of Bump and Beyond Nutrition, said: “Truth is, it’s normal for children to be fussy eaters – that is to not like the shape, colour, taste or texture of particular foods. “It’s also normal for children to like something one day but dislike it the next day, or eat more or less from dayto-day.” Ever noticed that your child, who gobbled back broccoli sprigs with gusto as a baby, cannot bear the sight of it as a toddler? Well, that’s normal too! “Frequently babies that are good eaters then become picky when they enter toddlerhood,” said Rosie. “It’s

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a way of exploring their environment and as they get older, asserting their independence.” Another factor to consider, when fretting about your child’s erratic eating habits, is that children’s appetites are also affected by their growth cycles. Provided your child is healthy, Rosie explained, and has enough energy to play, learn and explore they are probably eating enough. There are a few tips to help you make mealtimes and eating a better experience and also to get your children to eat a greater variety of foods. Here are a few:

Make mealtimes sociable

Eating with your children as often as is possible within the demands of your family life is very important when it comes to improving your children’s eating habits. There are a number of reasons for this. One, is that when they are very young it provides a chance for you to be a role model to your son or daughter. Rosie said: “Your child learns by example. If you want to see a change in him, you must be that change. If you model a non-fussy relationship with food yourself and eat a variety of fruits and vegetables, your child is more likely to follow suit.”

And Jo Cormack, a therapist and feeding consultant and author of ‘War and Peas: Emotionally Aware Feeding – end the battle with picky eaters’ said research showed having just one family meal a week has a positive impact on how a child eats. A family meal doesn’t have to be everyone sitting around the table eating together, any communal experience counts. Jo said: “It could be you and a friend and their children sharing a meal around a table. Family meals are not about a mum, a dad, 2.4 children and an immaculate table setting, they are about getting together to eat without the TV on, without rushing.” This communal experience, Jo believes, provides children with a valuable opportunity to learn and practice social skills. For this reason, Jo also thinks it’s important not to highlight eating problems at the meal table, and instead focus on this social side of eating. Jo explained that many parents can put large amounts of time and energy into what and how children are eating at mealtimes. It could be subtle things such as loading a child’s fork or

suggesting they ‘eat up’. Or it could be more extreme, where every adult at the table is focussing on convincing a child to eat. The danger is, mealtimes can become a battle. Jo advises: “Take a step back and only focus on the social side of the meal. Leave your child to get on (or not) with eating and talk about everyone’s day, the weather - anything but what is going into your child’s mouth. “This is not only enjoyable for everyone, it reduces levels of anxiety and conflict which, research tells us, will improve children’s eating.” Finally, this also provides a great opportunity to teach children that the “Yuk! Disgusting” response to food is rude. “Explain that they don’t need to mention it,” said Jo, “they can just leave what they don’t want on the edge of the plate.”

Establish a routine

Okay, in early days babies need to feed on demand. But, said Rosie Letts, this isn’t necessarily the case for older children, who can benefit from a daily feeding routine that fits around their daytime sleep pattern. “This should include three meals and two or three nutritious snacks, spaced throughout the day,” Rosie said. She advises serving meals and snacks at about the same times each day to help your child regulate their hunger levels and learn they have to eat enough at mealtimes. Avoid giving them milk or juice in the hour before a meal, as this could fill them up and ruin their appetite. Give them water, instead, if they are thirsty. A schedule is also a good idea where snacks are concerned, if only to establish whether their snacking is affecting their appetite for main meals. However, by offering healthy snacks at

a specific time every day, you’ll prevent your children pleading for snacks throughout the day. Jo Cormack said: “If you give a snack mid-morning and mid-afternoon and your child is never hungry at lunch, try dropping the mid-morning snack. If they eat their lunch but leave most of their evening meal, try dropping the midafternoon snack. “Every time you experiment with a new schedule, stick to it for a week or two before deciding whether it is working.” According to Jo, a common problem parents find is their children return home from school ravenous, have a snack then don’t want dinner. You can address this problem by dropping the snack and having dinner earlier. Or giving them a smaller snack, and having dinner later. “It’s all about trial and error and finding what works for your family,” said Jo.

Variety – the spice of mealtimes

Being creative, having fun and bringing lots of variety to mealtimes from the early days can make a huge difference to a child’s eating habits. This principle applies from when they are babies, as Rosie explained. “The ultimate goal of weaning is getting your baby to eventually eat the same foods as the rest of the family,” she said. “By one year of age, your child should be able to eat meals with the family. As your baby gets older avoid sticking to just bland, pureed food. Get your child’s palette used to a range of flavours and texture so he is able to transition to family meals easier.” As your children grow older, get them involved in the process of creating meals. At the supermarket, ask them to help you select healthy foods. At home, get them rinsing veggies, stirring ingredients and laying the table.

Just For Families 47

of the designated mealtime. As touched upon before, if your child doesn’t like a particular food the first time, keep serving until they become familiar with it. Try offering it, next time, with a food they enjoy to make it seem less threatening. Jo suggested, when it comes to introducing something completely new, try introducing it slowly as a variation of another food. “For example,” she said, “if your child likes chicken nuggets, try peeling them and serving the coating crumbled over the peeled chicken. Very gradually expand what your child will accept by making miniscule changes. Make the plate look as fun and colourful as possible. Rosie said: “Try serving vegetables and fruits with your little one’s favourite dips. Cut foods into various shapes with cookie cutters. Serve a variety of freshly-coloured foods. Offer breakfast foods for dinner.”

Be patient

It’s easy to get upset, or frustrated when our children refuse food. But remember, it can take a while for babies and children to accept different tastes and textures. The key is patience. Rosie explained babies have heightened senses so it’s normal for them to touch or smell new foods and even to put bits in their mouth, and take them out again. “You need to keep reintroducing foods,” she explained, “as your child might need repeated exposure before he takes a first bite.” Talk about the food’s colour, shape, smell and texture, but avoid saying whether the food tastes good, Rosie suggested. Try serving new foods alongside their favourite food to encourage them to try it.

Don’t force children to eat

One of the reasons we are often so frustrated when our children don’t eat, is that we fear they won’t be full and won’t have enough energy to play, nutrition to grow or – worst of all – will become cranky and irrational! But, actually, if they miss a meal or two, it’s not the end of the world. Jo explained: “Children have needs that fluctuate from day to day, week to

48 Just For Families

week, month to month. A lot of that is to do with how they are growing. “Many adults assume that children always need to eat the same amount each day and this gives rise to pressurising children to eat, giving them snacks they don’t need and generally being anxious about their eating. “As long as you are offering healthy, appropriate meals and your child’s weight and growth is fine, let them decide how much they want to eat.” She added: “If they leave a lot one day, before reaching for a snack or rushing to prepare an alternative meal for them, think about whether maybe they just don’t need as much food as you think they do.” It’s also important not to use bribes or a ‘clean plate’ incentive to get your child to eat as it can create power struggles over foods, said Rosie who thinks it’s important to respect your child’s appetite (or lack of one). Serve small portions, let your child decide how much to eat and they will be able to, independently, ask for more.

Don’t draw attention to fussy eating

According to Rosie, putting fussy eating in the spotlight can encourage children to continue behaving in this way. Instead, try and ignore the fussiness as much as possible. Making another meal for a child when they reject the original dish will simply lead to them being even more picky! Instead, encourage the child to stay at the table for the rest of the meal, until everyone has finished or until the end

“You might try different brands or flavours of safe foods, or serving it on a different plate. Think baby steps.”

Don’t offer dessert as a reward or a threat

It’s the age old parenting ultimatum. If you don’t eat your dinner, you won’t get pudding. But, according to Rosie, this could be making your problem worse, not better. “Withholding dessert sends the message that dessert is the best food, which might only increase your child’s desire for sweets. “You might select one or two nights a week as dessert nights, and skip dessert the rest of the week. I, personally, like to serve healthy options as dessert – fruit, yogurts etc.”

If you are concerned, seek help

Finally, if you have any major concerns about your child’s eating, for example, if you think it’s affecting their health, development or growth, it’s advisable to seek professional help from your GP, health visitor or an accredited dietician. But, in most cases, following the advice above and being patient can make a big difference. Rosie said: “Remember that your child’s eating habits won’t likely change overnight – but the small steps you take each day can help promote a lifetime of healthy eating.” For more help visit Rosie’s website www.bumpandbeyondnutrition.com For more advice from Jo visit www.emotionallyawarefeeding.com

Bromsgrove - Boarding Houses are Homes After over 450 years of being a successful but relatively small School, Bromsgrove has, in the last few years, become one of Britain’s largest independents with 1,600 day and boarding pupils aged 2 to 18, including over 500 boarders. That growth in pupil numbers has been wedded to a build programme of titanic scope and the passion, vision and flair that transformed the School intellectually, culturally and on the games fields is now manifested in Bromsgrove’s modern boarding facilities. The youngest boarders at the school have a new House for 70 boys and girls aged 7-13. Creating a home away from home for very young boarders is a challenge in any school, but it is a challenge met head-on in Page House. The building and facilities speak for themselves, but it is the atmosphere and the people that really make Page stand out as a leading example of modern Prep School boarding. The boarders in Page House are cared for in a warm, supportive environment modelled as much as possible on an ordinary, if huge, family home. Visitors often comment on the atmosphere of Page House and it is difficult to define what individual factors add up to the friendly, supportive, fun, welcoming environment of which we are so proud. Gone are the days of long dormitories with rows of beds and little personal space; the boarding house of today (and tomorrow) features smaller bedrooms, suitably decorated for the age of the children living in the rooms, and enough common areas that there is always somewhere to spend time with friends or have quiet time alone. At the other end of the age range, Sixth Form boarders at Bromsgrove have also recently moved into their new boarding house. Many schools will have faced the challenge of recreating parts of their boarding environment whilst maintaining the dignity and grandeur of the buildings that they have inherited from the past. Few however, will

have had the opportunity to do so on the size and scale of Bromsgrove School’s redevelopment of Housman Hall, the former home of Poet A.E Housman, himself a former pupil of the School. The new and refurbished accommodation and facilities on offer at Housman Hall match the quality of the house spirit – this is a perfect environment for Sixth Formers to finish their school years and begin the next part of their journey. The sense of space and the comfortable homely surroundings coupled with the fact that this is a Sixth Form only, co-educational boarding house gives it the perfect pre-University feel. Pupils have the chance to grow in confidence, become more independent and prepare for life beyond school whilst having the guidance and support of the tutor team and Housemothers at hand at all times.

here is nothing about a British summer that you can guarantee except one thing: delicious British strawberries. We are not guaranteed beautiful sunny weather, if we are blessed with an hour of sunshine there will be no bronzed glowing skin- the only options are lobster red for the reckless, pasty white for the overly cautious – and if we’re given half a chance on the barbeque we will burn our sausages. These are the rules of being British and I wouldn’t bloody change it. On British strawberries though, we can depend. I can’t really say I’m someone who shops seasonally, that would be a massive fib as one – I’m nowhere near organised enough to check what’s in season before I do my shopping, and two – you know what, the heart wants what the heart wants and if that happens to be peaches in November then what are you gonna do? But strawberries are the one thing I eat seasonally. I’ve tried the Spanish ones the supermarkets sell in winter and they don’t even come close so I never buy them and instead just go strawberry mad the minute I see that little Union Jack on the punnets. Get it while it’s hot and all that. The best thing about strawberries is that they actually feel like a genuine treat – I hold them in the same esteemed company as Terry’s Chocolate Orange Mini’s, cheesecake and cookies – but they are actually good for you. You can turn a dull bowl of Weetabix into a delightful breakfast with nothing more than a handful of strawberries thrown into the mix and you can pick up a punnet of them to snack on instead of a chocolate bar and not feel that you are depriving yourself. Of course, you don’t have to use them for good, they are just as wonderful when you take them down the sinful route too. After all, this blog post wouldn’t be that interesting if I told you all about my healthy breakfast of Weetabix and strawberries now would it? With that justification squeezed then, I present to you Strawberry Cake from The Primrose Bakery Book (a cookbook deserving of the description ‘neglected’). The Boyfriend made the very unexpected move of saying he really fancied a cake and should we bake one together at the weekend? Normally his food cravings revolve around pork scratching’s and cheesy Doritos so this suggestion caught me off guard somewhat. We agreed on strawberry cake straight away so for once deciding what to cook was pain free. The Primrose Bakery book is filled with beautiful cupcakes, layer cakes and biscuits based around

50 Just For Families

Neglected Cookbook s Resident F

ood Blogge

r Hayley E

agle

Strawberry Cake items they sell in their bakery. I’ve made the rhubarb cupcakes and Oreo cupcakes from this book and they were everything you’d expect them to be, but over the last couple of years the book has been pushed aside for my favourite baking book, How to Be a Domestic Goddess. The strawberry cake is a layer cake with chopped strawberries in the cake mixture, sandwiched together with strawberry jam, sliced strawberries and vanilla icing, then topped with a nice thick layer of vanilla icing which has been dyed pink, then decorated with a few whole strawberries. The recipe tells you to put all the cake ingredients into a food processor for an easy way to get a smooth cake mix. The only processor I have is a mini one suitable purely for making curry pastes and blending up baby food so I had to do it the old fashioned way with a wooden spoon and mixing bowl. Creaming butter and sugar together by hand is no easy task. I hated doing it in Home Economics

and I hate doing it now. Halfway through doing it I started getting fed up and my arm was getting heavy, and that’s when I remembered my other half suggesting we should bake a cake

w w w. n e g l e c t e d c o o k b o o k s . wo r d p r e s s . c o m

Cool Kids Cook Delicious recipes and fabulous facts to turn into a kitchen whizz (RRP £14.99) Jenny Chandler

50 recipes for real family food that will teach children the vital cooking skills to set them up for life.

together and yet he was nowhere to be seen in the kitchen. Hmmm, interesting. Now I don’t like to take advantage of being a member of the so called ‘fairer sex’ (mainly because it’s complete and utter tosh – be pregnant for nine months and then go through labour, then tell me who the fairer sex is. I don’t even want to think about how men would cope with the menstrual cycle) but sometimes you have to make sexism work for you. My poor little arms just can’t take mixing up this batter anymore, I need someone with strength and muscles to finish the job for me, yada yada yada, you know the script and it always works like a charm. So that is how I got us to bake a cake together, and I’m not even sorry. The cake in the book looks really pretty whereas mine on completion looked very homemade. I don’t think I left the cakes long enough to cool before sandwiching them together with the icing so the icing became a bit runny and oozed out of the cake a little bit. It was not a solid foundation to lay a cake on, let’s put it that way. Looks aside though, it tasted pretty, pretty good. The sponge is soft and moist with little strawberry bursts contained within. Jam and vanilla icing can never be a bad combination although if I had one criticism it would be that there is too much icing making it all a little bit too sweet. I’d make this cake again but perhaps instead of covering the cake with icing on top, adhere to the Victoria sponge way of doing things and keep it bare on top, maybe keeping the whole strawberries for aesthetic and flavour. The cake has enough flavour in itself to not need an abundance of icing smothering it, and the cake would then look like a pimped up Victoria sponge covered in Britain’s finest berry. This recipe definitely makes the most of strawberries when they are at their best, although if it’s simplicity you’re after you can’t beat the call of strawberries and cream.

Cooking is one of the most useful, rewarding and fun things children will ever learn to do. Whether they hope to become a rocket scientist, play international football, breed ferrets or win The X Factor, one thing’s for sure, they will always have to eat. Ideal for children aged 7 upwards; this book empowers kids to put a great supper on the table (with a bit of help from a grown up) and gives them a few exotic dishes for showing off. Filled with real dishes, not children’s food, recipes include tasty, healthy breakfasts to kick start your day. Cool salads that are perfect for picnics and packed lunches. Noodles, chowders, dals and stir-fries that are made to be slurped from the bowl. Hot favourites like Sticky Chicken Wings, Simple Meatballs and Fish ‘en Papillote’ make suppers more interesting. And not forgetting sweet and savoury treats from Banana Bread, Cheesy Courgette and Sweetcorn Muffins to Grilled Fruit Skewers and Fruity Crumbles. With easy-tofollow, step-by-step photography, fun food facts and lessons in kitchen safety, this is the book to get kids cooking properly and eating healthily. Jenny Chandler teaches at her own school, Plum Cooking, in Bristol, at the Bertinet Kitchen in Bath, Divertimenti, Leith’s and Borough Market in London. Back at home the weekly “Monday Night Cooking Club”, where Jenny taught her nine year old daughter and friends to prepare supper spawned the idea for a cookbook. She runs regular cooking sessions at her local primary school, has worked for Borough Market with the School Food Matters charity, cooking fruit and veg that children have grown in their schools, and has taught a class at Highgrove for the winners of the Prince’s gardening and cooking blog award. Jenny is the author of The Food of Northern Spain, The Real Taste of Spain and Pulse.

Giveaway! Pavilion Books have two copies of ‘Cool Kids Cook’ to give away to our readers!

For your chance to nab a copy of one of these great reads simply send us your name and address either via email to competitions@forcespublishing.co.uk or in the post to: Forces & Corporate Publishing Ltd, Hamblin House, Hamblin Court, Rushden, Northants NN10 0RU Closing date 25/05/16

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Children with ASN The transitions our children go through because of the transient nature of life in the armed forces are a tricky enough minefield to navigate. But add into the mix a child with Additional Support Needs (ASN) or Special Educational Needs (SEN) and the change-over process becomes even more complex, not to mention stressful.

nyone who has had to go through the tumultuous process of getting their child assessed to receive additional support for learning will know the battles faced. Once you have undergone the assessment, ensuring your child receives the correct provision creates another uphill struggle. And so, imagine if after months of jumping through hoops and finally settling your child into a school, you suddenly learn your family is to be posted elsewhere. Indeed, to a place the system is very different indeed. Not only does this mean finding a new school. It means the process of reassessment may well have to start again. For things can differ not only from country-to-country but also between different local authorities. According to the Children’s Education and Advisory Service (CEAS), which provides advice about the education of service children, families in the armed

52 Just For Families

forces face a large number of additional challenges when it comes to nailing the best education for children who need additional support. Not only do the different approaches to provision for ASN or SEN within schools cause problems, but the fact there are differing SEN provision in different local authorities can cause major headaches. For example, where a statement is secured by one local council, but the criteria of another council mean this statement is not valid. If a family moves to a different country within the UK – from Scotland to England, for example - the problems become even more onerous. According to CEAS, there are differences between all four administrations in the way additional education needs are described, identified, assessed and met because of the various different regulations, education systems and legal frameworks.

However, while things are fairly similar in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, in Scotland the concept of SEN is much broader. A spokesperson for Enquire, a Scottish advice service for additional support for learning, explained: “Children can have additional support needs because of specific conditions such as autism or dyslexia but also for a range of other reasons – for example they may be struggling with parts of the curriculum, have suffered a bereavement, have a parent in prison or are a young carer. “What’s important to know is that a child does not need a formal diagnosis for support to be in place.” Things in England are different. The term for a child with SEN is less broad, it does not encompass children who face difficulties learning due to bullying, bereavement or family problems as the Scottish system does. This huge difference means some families moving from Scotland to England face the prospect of having no additional support at all. But while the situation for armed forces families might seem hopeless, there is lots of support and help out there from a variety of sources.

Here’s an overview of some organisations which can help, and also the provisions in place to help armed forces families.

Your Entitlement The good news is that schools and local authorities have a duty to provide support for armed forces children. In fact, in the SEND Code of Practice there is recognition for the very specific needs of armed forces children with SEN and SEND. It requires all organisations with statutory responsibilities towards service children with SEN to ensure their policies and processes don’t disadvantage these children. As a result, there should be systems in place to ensure relevant records for children with SEN are sent between schools before your family moves to a new posting. What’s more the Ministry of Defence (MOD) has created the Pupil Information Profile (PIP), which will include details of all children’s additional educational needs. Any schools receiving funds through the Service Pupil Premium should examine how they can use this financial support to meet the needs of service children with SEN. Likewise, local authorities should take the particular needs of service families into account when commissioning services for children and young people.

What should happen when you move? When children move from one local authority to another, the child’s Education Health and Care (EHC) plan should be transferred within 15 days from when they first heard about the relocation. There is then six weeks when the new local authority must decide if they will bring the annual review of the plan forward or reassess the child. When the EHC plan is given to the new authority, it must arrange for the child to receive the provision set out in the plan. All this will happen with advice from CEAS. If you have any difficulties with the process or need further advice, this is the place to go for advice and support.

As spokeswoman for the organisation said: “It is difficult for CEAS to give general advice about this issue, as each case is different. However, service families can contact CEAS for free, impartial and confidential advice on this and any other matter relating to the education of children.” CEAS has four Parent Support Officers, who are all ex-teaching professionals, who provide one-to-one advice and support to service families. The spokeswoman added: “CEAS offers, for all service families who have children with SEN/ASN, a registration service which enables parents to be supported through any educationrelated difficulties arising from their children’s needs. Particularly, but not exclusively, those difficulties connected with service-induced mobility or deployments.” Call the CEAS helpline on 01980 618244 (8.45 to 16.00 Monday to Friday) or via email enquiries@ceas. uk.com or DCYP-CEAS-Mailbox@mod. uk

What other help is available? There are a number of support groups and organisations out there run by professionals and other parents who can provide advice and guidance, not to mention empathy, to families struggling with a move. Among them is charity Anna Kennedy Online, which helps families throughout the UK offering support, resources, advice and education. Anna Kennedy, its founder, has two sons with autism so is all too familiar with the challenges faced by families of children with SEN/ASN. She said, in particular, moving from Scotland to England could be particularly difficult. “Having a Scottish equivalent of a Statement of Educational Health Care Plan, getting it transferred may be difficult, and due to lack of familiarity could lead to further complications including anxiety and lack of provision.” But she urged parents not to give up. “I understand that it can be incredibly stressful and frustrating and, at times,

it can feel that everyone is against you. But this isn’t the case, and there are people and organisations out there who can support you,” she said. “Join support groups, and network with other families who have experienced similar situations or have been in the same boat. They will be the ones who can answer your questions and give you the best advice.” Anna added: “Your child’s needs must come first. Make sure that you do everything to ensure the transition is easy and as undisruptive as possible. “Plan ahead, in advance, as this will ensure you and your family settle quickly and you all know what is going on. Not having this visibility can cause unnecessary stress and issues, and you need to reduce the possibility of these issues arising.” Anna Kennedy Online provides support and advice through social media, forums and groups and has over 100,000 followers across multiple platforms. You can also contact Anna directly for help and support. It’s all completely free. As well as providing the support network, the charity visits schools throughout the UK to campaign for better SEN services and support. It also campaigns on behalf of families and speaks in the House of Commons.

For more information visit www.annakennedyonline.com Just For Families 53

Meeting the demands of children who are living away from their parents allows me to be part of the development of the whole child. I chose to work in boarding, in addition to teaching languages in the school, so that I could be more involved in supporting the community ethos, which extends beyond the end of the school day, beyond the classroom. At St Mary’s School, the ethos is firmly based in traditional Christian values and so, as a Christian, that appealed to me too. Boarding staff at the school are very experienced in creating a caring environment in which every child can flourish. Four members of staff are on duty at any one time, ensuring there is always someone available to listen to our 90 students, offer advice and monitor their wellbeing. Additionally, girls are kind and considerate to each other, with older girls playing the role of big sister to some of the younger girls.

Getting on

Board

If you are a parent thinking of sending your child to boarding school, you might have wondered what it’s really like behind those walls. Here’s an insight into life at some of the UK’s boarding schools from the perspective of the teachers, parents and students themselves. 54 Just For Families

Teachers Helene Compain-Holt is the head of boarding at St Mary’s School, Cambridge I come from a military family, which means that I appreciate the requirements of educating the children of serving military personnel. I also attended a boarding school myself, which helps me to understand the mind set of boarders.

Parents may contact boarding staff directly as frequently as required. Parents are kept officially informed of their child’s progress at every stage of school life. Formal reports are regularly issued, detailing the student’s social and academic development. In our experience children new to boarding settle down very quickly, in part because of our clearly structured boarding routine, which encourages news boarders to move about with surety and grow in confidence as a member of the boarding family. In addition we operate a robust buddy system that links new students with more established at the school. For parents considering how best to prepare their child for boarding, it’s best to speak with them about the school, the boarding accommodation, and the city. If possible, visit the school together and invest time in sharing the experience. Talk about what you have seen and what you have enjoyed, and talk through the information supplied by the school. Alexandra Beer is the head of Elizabeth House at the Royal Alexandra and Albert School, Surrey.

I have chosen to focus on a career in boarding because I have always been most interested in the pastoral side of school. Although I have a teaching degree, I don’t plan to use it. Instead wanting to focus on building relationships and helping the students in my care thrive whilst away from home. Boarding in the UK is very different to Australia, where I originate. The Royal Alexandra and Albert School has an extensive co-curriculum programme as well as flexi-boarding which offers students the opportunity to balance their education with their interests. This is something that I think many boarding schools are lacking in Australia. For any parents who are nervous about sending their child to boarding school, I would advise them to foster a relationship with their students’ future Head of House as early as possible. This is the person who will be seeing your child every day and who is responsible for their welfare whilst away at school. They will be able to alleviate any fears and nerves you may have. I would also advise parents to be open and honest with staff about what they are expecting from boarding school. The more we know about your child, the easier their transition into boarding school life will be.

Parents Jayne Hunter is the parent of two boys at Monmouth School, Wales and a girl at Haberdashers’ Monmouth School for Girls (HMSG). Her husband serves in the armed forces. We decided early on that our children were suffering as a result of moving to different schools each time my husband was posted. I was excited about choosing a private school for them but very quickly realised very few met our requirements. We have sons and a daughter and felt strongly we wanted them schooled at single-sex schools but able to see each other easily after school and at weekends – very few brother and sister schools exist. We obviously didn’t know where we

“We decided early on that our children were suffering as a result of moving to different schools each time my husband was posted.“ would be living over the 12 years that their schooling would take, so the school had to be easily accessible from all directions as well as by rail and air.

schools. They all refer to Monmouth as their home when asked where they come from – a question many forces children struggle to answer!

Our next big concern was that because we didn’t know where we would be, the children may well have to be full boarders, not weekly. Therefore, we wanted somewhere that had a good percentage of full boarders to enable them to offer a full and varied activity program at weekends.

Mr and Mrs Brown send their daughter, Ella-Louise to the Royal Alexandra and Albert School, in Surrey.

This has been a godsend, with many of their day pupil friends being envious of all that is on offer. During the 12 years that Monmouth has taken care of our children, we have experienced some pretty traumatic events as a family. We have lost very dear friends in a conflict in Afghanistan and Iraq, and their father has been repeatedly despatched to these areas. The school as a whole, especially the housemasters and mistresses, have been a great support to both myself and children. Having other forces families there in the same situation has also helped them enormously, stopping them feeling like the odd ones out. One example was a helicopter crash in Iraq. My son’s housemaster allowed him to see the news but ensured the staff were with him and available to him to talk about it and the loss of the close friend, a great comfort when I could not be there. (At Monmouth) the military deal on fees is far and away the best we have come across. The opportunities that the children have all had are amazing, trips to Tanzania, Madagascar and Borneo for example. All three children are very different in both interests and aspirations, they have all excelled in different areas and have all been very happy at the

Coming from a military family, the need for Ella to have a stable education meant boarding became a necessity rather than a choice. Ella had been to two nursery schools and two infant schools by the time she was ready to start junior school in Year 3. We chose the school because of the age at which they can board from – there are not many schools that will take boarders from Year 3. There seemed to be an abundance of facilities and the fact the school had its own stables was a great selling point. Ella-Louise has received an abundance of support from the school. From the pastoral care she receives in the boarding houses, right through to the one-to-one support she receives through the school. I truly believe what Ella received was a passion and commitment from every member of staff to give her the skills and opportunities to thrive. It’s that commitment that has made her the person she is today and the progress she has made is undeniably amazing. Ella has always had a mobile phone and whilst the time they were allowed on the phones in the junior house was restricted we still managed to speak to her every day. Now Ella is in the Senior House they are allowed to keep their mobile phones and I either speak, text or email Ella numerous times every day. The cons [of boarding school] are obviously not seeing Ella as much as

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I would like. I remember the tearful phone calls telling me how much she hated it and really wanted to come home. The tears I shed thinking what terrible parents we were for putting her through this. That was until I telephoned the house to voice my concerns and was immediately put at ease by the staff letting me listen to Ella laughing and playing with others in the background. It was from that moment I knew she would be fine. The house staff left me completely relaxed and confident she was well cared for in every respect.

Students Rhiannon Gibson, 16, is a student at Haberdashers’ Monmouth School for Girls (HMSG), in Monmouth South Wales. I was a day girl for my first year at HMSG, so I’d already made many friends by the time I started boarding. However, this didn’t stop me from

getting homesick. I remember Mrs Ward, my housemistress, inviting two senior boarders who also used to get homesick to School House to talk to me. The advice they gave me is the same I now give to other girls, which is to make yourself busy. If your mind is occupied then you don’t feel it as much. I love the location of the school because you have the beautiful countryside, but Monmouth town centre and bigger cities like Newport, are nearby. I really like the routine I have at HMSG because I feel as though I am making the most of my time. I also like the huge range of extracurricular activities that are offered here because you can make new friends and do something good for the school. The teachers dedicate their time to helping us with whatever troubles we have with things like science or maths clinics at lunchtimes, or the heads of year giving general advice.

I really enjoy playing for the school’s lacrosse team, I also dance once a week and this year I played football for the first time with the new HMSG FC. I have learnt many social skills from boarding school without even realising it at the time. Looking back I can see that I have learnt to always look out for and think of others, share, be empathetic, cope with many different people during more difficult times and be more organised. Since becoming a boarder my views have become more open and I have found it easier to accept other people’s opinions even when they are different to mine. I think these skills will be very useful in future, for example at university or in the workplace. Jonah Moore, 16, is from Kingstonupon-Thames and goes to Plymouth College, Devon, which he joined in Year 6. His father is a dentist in the Royal Navy. I was really excited about joining Plymouth College. Of course it helped having my brother and sister here but, even so, I never really felt homesick. Boarding is normally from Year 7 upwards, but there was another Year 6 boy here and we became really close friends. My parents noticed how independent I had become after my first year. We have regular room inspections, so I’ve learnt to tidy up after myself. When I finish school I come back to boarding, unpack my sports bag and put my washing in the laundry basket – it only takes a few minutes and my routine has become second nature. If I want to make a snack outside of the main meal times, I go to the boarding house kitchen and make it myself. I really enjoy being able to do that. Living in the boarding community has also helped my social skills. We have boarders from all over the world, and it is great getting to know everyone. One of my friends, Simran, is from Bangladesh. Also, a Year 8 boy from a forces family I know really well has just joined the school, so I have been helping him to settle in.

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There’s a twist and turn for everyone in the Rubik’s range! The Rubik’s Twist (RRP £12.99) is the twisting, turning challenge that can take the form of thousands of figures and shapes. Instead of having a single solution, the Rubik’s Twist (also known as the Rubik’s Snake) can be used to create multiple outcomes of unlimited puzzle shapes! Created from 24 triangular prisms that are attached face to face and able to rotate 360 degrees, this puzzle can be transformed into anything from animals to geometric shapes. You can even attach multiple Rubik’s Twists to each other to create even larger and more outlandish shapes! How twisted will your imagination get with the Rubik’s Twist?!

The Rubik’s Cube (SSP £12.99) is THE original and the best puzzle in history! With 43 quintillion combinations and its unique turning and twisting action, this cube conundrum is still the ultimate when it comes to perplexing puzzles.

Get on your marks with the Rubik’s Race (SSP £17.99)! Players need to be up to speed with this take on the much loved 80’s cube sensation. Roll the dice and duel your way to victory by shifting, sliding and solving the tile template; it’s the ultimate two-player face-to-face

COMPETITION!

race! Competitors must slide their tiles to be the niftiest in recreating the Rubik’s pattern on the dice. The winner is the first to drop the divider frame on their completed side of the board. Fantastically addictive, it’s guaranteed to drive you as crazy as the cube in an attempt to have the fastest fingers.

The classic 1980’s puzzle has had a refresh adding a new dimension to the toy that has puzzled many people for years! Try and solve it without the core with the Rubik’s Void (SSP £14.99)! Twist and turn the cube until you complete the coloured circle encapsulating the void. Without the core the puzzle intensifies and with slick movements the mechanics of this latest Cube allow you to corner cut like never before! Take on the Void and see if you come out victorious! Products available in good toy stores and online. For a list of stockists, visit www.johnadams.co.uk.

Rubik’s are giving two Just For Families readers the chance to win a Rubik’s Void, Cube and Race! All you have to do is answer the following question...

How many triangular prisms are attached face to face on the Rubik’s twist? Send us your answer either via email to competitions@forcespublishing. co.uk or in the post to: Forces & Corporate Publishing Ltd, Hamblin House, Hamblin Court, Rushden, Northants NN10 0RU Closing date 25/05/16

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Fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day Unique gift ideas for dads

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Gifts 13

1. Gamer Soap £9.99 www.firebox.com 2. Personalised Time Travellers Mens Chain £155 www.notonthehighstreet.com 3. Washbag Recycled 1940’s Bivouac Tent £29 www.notonthehighstreet.com 4. Small Silver Wax Seal Necklace £50 www.notonthehighstreet.com 5. iKettle £99.99 www.firebox.com 6. Chinook Cufflinks £22 www.notonthehighstreet.com 7. 02 Customised Seiko 5 Military Watch £240 www.notonthehighstreet.com 8. Fire Stash Keyring £6.99 www.firebox.com 9. Jelly Belly Draft £6.99 www.firebox.com 10. Rhino Shield iPhone £17.99 www.firebox.com 11. ‘My Father’ Quote Print £20 www.notonthehighstreet.com 12. Mens Personalised Paracord Bracelet £24 www.notonthehighstreet.com 13. Favourite Places Metal Road Signs £20 www.notonthehighstreet.com 14. 12-in-1 Multi Tool Pen £9.99 www.firebox.com

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Father's Day Events 2016

with the National Trust Father’s Day Tea

Father’s Day BB

Bateman's, East Sussex 19 June, 2.30pm - 5pm

Bodiam Castle, East Sussex 19 June, 12pm - 2pm

If you imagine an afternoon tea at Bateman's is just dainty cakes and pastries then you and your dad are in for a surprise. Instead there is a hot mini Yorkshire pudding with gravy, posh fish finger roll, home-made mini pasty, served with a rustic sandwich and the ever popular Bateman's classic cream tea, washed down with a good strong cup of tea. Price: £15

Make your Dad's day special with a visit to Bodiam Castle and we'll help you make him feel like the King of the Castle. Bring your Dad along to our Father's Day BBQ and he'll have the chance to try on some of our armour. There's no need to book in advance and don't forget to bring your camera to capture those special photos of your very own knight in shining armour. Price: £3

(normal admission charges apply)

For more information, please call 01435 882302

Den Building for Dads Brimham Rocks, North Yorkshire 19 June, 1pm - 2.30pm Join us for a Father's day to remember. Is your Dad or Grandad up to the challenge of building a den? Join us and test their woodland DIY skills. Price: Free event (normal admission charges apply)

For more information, please call 01423 780688

Family Fun Run Brockhampton Estate, Herefordshire 19 June, 9am - 12pm Celebrate Father's Day with a fun run for the whole family around the great outdoors at Brockhampton. A fun run suitable for all ages and abilities in association with Aspire running. Join the run, have a lot of fun and then explore the Manor house and refreshments available at Lower Brockhampton. The fun run will help you to explore parts of the estate you may never have seen before and enjoy the beautiful countryside at the same time. Price: Free event (normal admission charges apply)

For more information, please call 01885 482077

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Father’s Day Falconry Hanbury Hall and Gardens, Worcestershire 19 June, 10.30am - 5pm Enjoy flying displays and find out more about birds of prey with Worcestershire falconry expert, Trevor Hill. Price: Free event

Father’s Day Lunch

(normal admission charges apply)

Chartwell, Kent 19 June, 2.30pm - 4pm

Father’s Day Kite Day

Join us for a Best of British lunch for Father's day Treat your Father to a delicious two course lunch at Chartwell. Price: £16.95

Hatchlands Park, Surrey 19 June, 11am - 4pm

(normal admission charges apply)

For more information, please call 01732 861161

Father’s Day Gladiator Arena Chedworth Roman Villa Gloucestershire 18 - 19 June, 10am - 4.30pm Watch as your dad is sold as a slave to fight in the gladiator arena! Legio II Augusta, a premier Roman re-enactment group return with their gladiator arena. Watch exciting displays of gladiatorial fighting. Bring your dad along and see him sold as a slave to fight in the arena. With demonstrations, chats and activities, the weekend will be full of great family fun! Price: Free event (normal admission charges apply)

For more information, please call 01242 890256

Father’s Day at Claremont Claremont Landscape Garden, Surrey 19 June, 10am - 6pm Free admission for Dads. A perfect day out for Dad with a static display of vintage cars on the amphitheatre courtesy of The Surrey Classic Vehicle Club. Free admission for Dads when accompanied by their children. Car display 11am - 3pm Price: Free event (normal admission charges apply)

For more information, please call 01372 467806

Let Dad show off his skills at our Kite day. Bring your own kite and have a go at making one in our kite craft workshop. Price: £3 (normal admission charges apply)

The Duck Race 2016 Coughton Court, Warwickshire 18 - 19 June, 14pm - 2.30pm Celebrate Father's Day and sponsor a duck on Coughton's traditional duck race down the River Arrow, plus traditional games for families. Price: £1 (normal admission charges apply)

For more information, please call 01789 400777

Captain Geoffrey’s Discovery Day

For more information, please call 01483 222482

Father’s Day Den Building Hughenden, Buckinghamshire 19 June, 11am - 1pm Whose family will make the best team? Kids can team up with their fathers to see who can make the best den with our ranger. Can you make your den waterproof? There's only one way to find out. Price: £5 (normal admission charges apply)

For more information, please call 01494 755573

Dudmaston, Shropshire Father’s Day 19 June 11am - 5.30pm

Father’s Day Carvery Lunch

It's Father's day so bring Dad along to enjoy a day of traditional sporting pursuits and classic cars. Watch as stunning birds of prey fly across the gardens and meet them up close. Enjoy the gleam of the classic cars in the orchard. Try your hand at archery with Shropshire Scouts and make a kite to fly out in the parkland. How high will yours go? Price: Free event

Knightshayes Court, Devon 19 June, 12pm - 2.30pm

(normal admission charges apply)

For more information, please call 01746 780866

Bring dad along to Knightshayes and treat him to a day out. Explore the garden in its early summer bloom and enjoy a delicious carvery lunch in the café, made using locally sourced ingredients, including vegetables from our very own productive Kitchen Garden. Price: £8.95 For more information, please call 01884 254665

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a day out at Prior Park. Bring a picnic rug and relax by the lakes. On offer will be delicious beef burgers with a vegetarian option. Price: £2.50 (normal admission charges apply)

For more information, please call 01225 833977

Father’s Day Seaton Delaval Hall, Northumberland 19 June, 11m - 5pm Treat Dad to a day out at Seaton Delaval Hall, where you can meet the stonemason, enjoy live music and taste some local ales! There's also a special Father's Day Make & Do where you can make him a present! Price: Free event (normal admission charges apply)

For more information, please call 0191 237 9100

Garden Games with Jaques

to uncover the secrets of this special art. Price: Free event

Leith Hill Place, Surrey Fathers' Day 19 June, 11am - 5pm

For more information, please call 01736 786156

Enjoy a family fun day out playing a variety of garden games such as Croquet, Boules, Jenga and Connect 4. Dads and granddads go free if accompanied by their children (up to 2 free entries per family group). Price: Free event

Father’s Day at Mount Stewart

(normal admission charges apply)

For more information, please call 01306 711 685

Bronze Age Smelting Levant Mine and Beam Engine, Cornwall 19 June, 11am - 5pm Discover the secrets of our ancestors with master bronze age swordsmith, Neil Burridge. Copper and tin have been extracted from the cliffs around Levant for over 2000 years and archaeological finds suggest that bronze artefacts were being created here back in the Bronze Age. Join one of our special Father's Day workshops

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(normal admission charges apply)

Mount Stewart, Co. Down 19 June, 11am - 5pm Take the whole family to Mount Stewart for this popular day out. The vintage car display returns to the front of the house. Price: Free event (normal admission charges apply)

For more information, please call 028 4278 8387

Father’s Day Barbeque Prior Park Landscape Garden Bath and North East Somerset 19 June, 12pm - 2pm It wouldn't be father's day without a barbeque at Prior Park. Let us do the cooking and treat dad to

Father’s Day Barbecue & Late Opening Sheffield Park and Garden, East Sussex 19 June, 2pm - 6.30pm Celebrate Father's Day by treating Dad to a barbecue lunch in the tearoom between 2pm and 6.30pm. Midsummer allows the garden to be open for an extended evening till 9pm. Take the opportunity to enjoy the long summer evenings with this late opening combined with a Father's Day barbecue. Price: Free event (normal admission charges apply)

For more information, please call 01825 790231

The Lord Chamberlain’s Men presents ‘Much Ado About Nothing’ Smallhythe Place, Kent 19 June, 6pm - 9pm A Shakespearean journey of comedy and mistaken identity. Bring a picnic and enjoy the show in the garden.

Bring a chair and a picnic and spend a glorious summer's evening watching this funny, moving and fast-paced production of one of Shakespeare's best-loved comedies. Performed in the open air, by an all male cast with Elizabethan costume, music and dance. Price: £15 For more information, please call 01580 762334

Dads Go Mad! Stackpole, Pembrokeshire 19 June, 11am - 2pm Treat dad to the sort of day all chaps love - in the woods! Learn traditional hunter-gatherer skills like fire-making and outdoors activities. All good old back to basics fun! We'll be doing lots of fun things for all the family, including how to light a fire the old-fashioned way and other types of hunter-gathering stuff for the 21st Century. Price: £5 (normal admission charges apply)

For more information, please call 01646 661425

Fathers’ Day Stoneywell, Leicestershire 19 June, 10am - 5pm Join us this Fathers' Day as we get competitive with traditional games both inside and out. Grab dad, bring a picnic and get comfortable in the garden. Challenge him to a game of bowls on the tennis court and discover the Gimson family's game of table tennis with a difference. Listen out for wildlife in the woods and make a bird feeder for your own garden.

The cottage will be open for visitors to explore at their leisure - keep an eye out for the Hornby train set in the Well Room! Price: Free event (normal admission charges apply)

For more information, please call 01530 248040

Father’s Day Weekend Classics Tyntesfield, Bristol 18 - 19 June, 10am - 4pm An array of classic vehicles will descend on the estate over the weekend. Explore the different makes and models, find a favourite and maybe even take a photo of Dad behind the wheel. Price: Free event (normal admission charges apply)

For more information, please call 01275 461 900

Jazz and Beer on Father’s Day Uppark House and Garden, West Sussex 19 June, 12pm - 3pm Join Harry Strutters jazz trio for some vintage music. Relax on the lawn and listen to vintage Jazz, bring a picnic and stay all day. Why not treat your dad to a pint of beer from our beer tent. Price: Free event

Vintage Transport Weekend Upton House and Gardens, Warwickshire 18 - 19 June, 11am - 4pm Come along to celebrate Father's Day weekend with a fascinating display of vintage vehicles and music on the terrace. Price: Free event (normal admission charges apply)

For more information, please call 01295 670266

Wimpole Family Games Day Wimpole Estate, Cambridgeshire 18 - 19 June, 10.30am - 4.30pm Try something new at our family games day event, celebrating and showcasing some great sports and activities available at Wimpole. Alongside some activities you can do here at Wimpole you will also find some activities run by local clubs, businesses and volunteers. Price: £11 (normal admission charges apply)

For more information, please call 01223 206306

(normal admission charges apply)

For more information, please call 01730 825 415

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DIY Father’s Day Gifts Dad Keyring Make sure Dad never loses his keys with this personal, jangly keyring!

Shopping List

Keyring ✓ ‘Super Shrink’ ck Pa re ✓ St tchy Cord

✓ Fibre Tip Pens d Scissors ✓ Holepunch an

Funky Frame Add a splash of 80’s fever to this vibrant picture frame for Dad - a great gift idea for a special occasion!

Shopping List

✓ Large Craft Ph oto Frames ✓ Modelling Clay ✓ Acrylic Paint ✓ PicTixx 3D Glitte r Pens ✓ PVA Glue ✓ Pencil, Paintbr ush, Kitchen Foil

How To Make On the rough side of a piece of Magic Shrink plastic, draw back to front, block letters spelling out ‘Dad’. Carefully cut out each letter with scissors but leave the holes in the centre of each letter intact as this will make them stronger. Cut a strip of Magic Shrink plastic 3cm by 15cm and draw a border design on the rough side. Punch a hole in one corner and three more along the opposite side. Colour in with fibre tip pens. Draw stripes, spots and squiggles on the rough side of the plastic letters using different colours. Punch a hole in the top corner of each letter. Place the letters and the strip on a baking tray and place in a warm electric oven for a couple of minutes until each one has curled up, shrunk and flattened out again. Remove them from the oven and place a book on top while they’re still warm to ensure they’re completely flat. Attach each letter to the strip with stretchy cord knotted firmly and fit the keyring fob to the extra hole in the strip to finish.

Top Tip

und to help ke sure an adult is aro Use oven gloves and ma ring fob. key stic and fitting the when shrinking the pla

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How To Make Draw lots of small circles onto the front of the frame with a pencil. Paint the circles in different, bright colours and allow to dry. Paint around the circles with black acrylic to fill in the background. Use a gold glitter pen to add dots all the way round the edges of the coloured circles. Knead ping-pong ball sized pieces of modelling dough in your hands and roll them between your palms into sausages. Shape the sausages into letters to spell out ‘Fab Dad’ and leave them on a piece of kitchen foil until they are dry. Use PVA to glue the letters around the frame, overlapping the edges if necessary.

Top Tip

Kneading the modellin g clay first will make it much easier to shape into lett ers.

Jacqueline Hurley e m o H d r a o b r a t S t u Port O

I paint as Jacqueline Hurley which is my maiden name and I am a mum of 13 year old twins. We live in Bournemouth which is a beautiful town on the South Coast of England and I am a full-time expressionist artist. I believe that there is art in this world for everyone but I mostly paint remembrance paintings as a tribute to our Armed Forces. After leaving school I trained as a nursery nurse and for 17 years worked

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in a primary school in a reception class. However, due to ill health I lost my job in April 2014. I have always loved painting, but due to working full time as well as being a mum, there was little time left to paint. Although this was a difficult time, I can see now it was a blessing in disguise. Like many of my generation, both my grandfathers served during World War 2. My grandpa Les joined the Royal Navy at the start of WW2 as an able

seaman. He was later commissioned as a gunnery officer. During the war he served on the aircraft carrier HMS Furious at the time the spitfires were launched to save Malta. He also served for two years on the Arctic convoys to Russia and another 2 years mine sweeping from Dover. My grandpa often talked of his time in the Royal Navy before he retired as a Commander. It was a very special part of his life. My other grandfather, Grandad Jack also served. He was in the Territorials

“So many lives have been lost in more recent conflicts and this is what inspired me to paint scenes of the Falklands, Iraq and Afghanistan in my War Poppy Collection." travellers luggage and tickets were stamped POSH if fortunate enough to be able to afford one of these shady cabins, away from the heat of the sun. before the war and served with the Royal Engineers at the start of the war, later serving with the Royal Signals in North Africa. After they died there were so many questions I wished I had asked. The same with my grandmothers. Although they all shared many of their experiences and this time in their lives were often talked about, I still wished that I had asked more questions and had a better understanding to pass on to my children. WW1 and WW2 are part of this country’s history and heritage and too much has been sacrificed for the freedom we are blessed with today, for those who lived and fought through this period to be forgotten. I am of the last

generation whose grandparents lived through a world war and our children need to understand what generations before them lived through and that our freedom wasn’t free. As George Santayana famously quoted, “The one who does not remember history is bound to live through it again.” I use the name POSH Original Art when I paint. This stands for Port Out, Starboard Home. It is quite interesting to read about where the word POSH is thought to have come from. The most desirable cabins on the British steamships travelling to India at the turn of the century were on the Port side, sailing out and on the Starboard side sailing home. It is believed that

However the reason why I use the name Port Out, Starboard Home POSH is because all ships and aircraft have a port side (left) and a starboard side (right). All our troops travel out by either ship or aircraft and we all hope and pray they return home. I only started the collection in October 2014 when one evening I was thinking of a friend of mine, Royal Marine Neil Dunstan who was tragically killed by an IED whilst serving with the Royal Marines Brigade Reconnaissance Force in Afghanistan on the 12th November 2008. So many lives have been lost in more recent conflicts and this is what inspired me to paint scenes of the Falklands, Iraq and Afghanistan in my War Poppy Collection.

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My paintings in the War Poppy Collection are tributes to our heroes in our Armed Forces and my personal thank you to our troops, veterans and their families and as a remembrance to our fallen.

I also donate to the Royal Marines Association charity “Adam’s Hoofing Hut” and I have a Commercial Association Agreement with the Royal British Legion whom I donate to from sales of War Poppy prints.

Visual art is a powerful means of communication, it speaks a universal language. I am both passionate about supporting our troops and passionate about what my paintings represent. Remembrance Day is every day.

Soldier On Australia will be using three of my images on all their fundraising literature, and their ‘In Memoria’ and ‘Bequest’ brochures next year.

The most wonderful thing about my work is that I am able to use it to reach out to the people I paint to thank, and the families of those I paint to remember. I have been able to help support forces charities including: Shoeboxes For Our Heroes, Forces Support Charity, Mind 2 Mind, Forward Assist, Help For Heroes, Helping Families Suffering with PTSD, RTTW (National Memorial Arboretum), Combat Stress, The DMWS, The Royal Air Force Association, The Royal British Legion, Fishing For Heroes, UK Homes For Heroes, Soldiers Off The Streets and The Royal Navy & Royal Marine’s Children’s Fund by donating signed prints as raffle prizes and to be auctioned at fundraising events.

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I take my artwork to events where I have been hosted by The Royal British Legion and The Army Air Corps. This gives me the opportunity to meet and talk with so many wonderful and amazing people who approach me because of my art. They share with me their own personal experiences of either serving in our Armed Forces or having loved ones with military connections. I have both laughed and cried with many of them. These are very special times for me. I hope my paintings touch hearts and emotions and help to keep the importance of remembrance in the forefront of our minds. I paint using acrylics and add impasto gels to thicken the paint to create texture. Texture and lots of layers is part

of my expressionism style, as what’s hidden is equally as important as what is visible. This represents the mind and often the long term suffering which war often inflicts. Although my images depict war, I try to bring an element and sense of peace to my work, this being what we all hope for and what lives have been sacrificed for. I use a mostly monochrome palette and the stark redness of the remembrance poppies. This creates contrast against the highly textured, gritty impressionistic landscapes. All the 24 paintings in the War Poppy Collection feature silhouettes which often allow the image to become more personal or sentimental to the people I paint for. I paint to evoke emotion, reflection and remembrance in what has been described as a poignant and evocative style. All of my paintings are meaningful to me and I painted each of them to commemorate and thank different services in our Armed Forces. The first painting in the collection “We Remember, We Fight On” is special as my fallen friend Royal Marine Neil Dunstan was the inspiration to start the painting.

“Although my images depict war, I try to bring an element and sense of peace to my work, this being what we all hope for and what lives have been sacrificed for." Medic On The Mountain is special as it is the only painting I have done based on an actual photograph. This was sent to me by a Private Soldier called Mike Warman who was attached to 3 Yorks Ops Platoon on Herrick 16. He was a medic and I found his photograph so inspirational that I needed to recreate it in my own style. “My Knight In Body Armour” is also very special as it can mean so many things to different people in different ways. This is why I am so passionate about my expressionistic way of painting. All my images are so subjective and can be interpreted in however way a person chooses to interpret them. I love the freedom of art! My paintings could be your dad, mum, brother, sister, son, daughter, a loved one, a memory, someone who fought alongside you, YOU. I have been totally overwhelmed by the support and the extremely touching comments and messages I receive on Facebook and Twitter as well as emails and the feedback I have received at events. I have received messages from bereaved family members which have brought me to tears and have received so many lovely comments which tell me how appreciated and meaningful my remembrance art is. I would love to share some of the words of such a cherished letter I received from a veteran: “Your talent has found me and speaks to a part of me that is never lost but somehow I cannot vocalise. Your pictures stir a deep and profound something that only exists inside those who know what it means to see firsthand and their families share their pain.

The print I purchased is a cherished possession by my family and I, as we have lost friends along the way, and when I find the perfect frame and the perfect place, it will take pride of place in our home. A constant and fitting reminder of those friends and the good times we had along with the gratitude of all those we know. You know you never forget the pain, and embrace the joy. Remember who they were and what they did, don’t dwell on the hole that was left behind. I appreciate what you do and I do thank you. I am blessed to live in a world where someone with an amazing talent is able to grasp an emotion and transfer it into a medium that can be understood by many as words and feelings cannot always be conveyed.” It took me 6 months of painting 24/7 to paint the War Poppy Collection. The paintings followed each other with such spontaneity, allowing me to totally open up my emotions and express my feelings on to the canvases.

I plan to paint a smaller WW1 and WW2 collection next, following many requests and a personal need to commemorate and remember them through my art. I have almost completed my 1914-1918 War Poppy Collection and plan to start my 19391945 War Poppy Collection in the next few months. It has always been very important to me to exhibit and share the complete War Poppy Collection together in a place which epitomizes remembrance. Opportunities have come up to exhibit, along with a lot of interest in the original paintings, however I decided to wait for when I felt in my heart that it was right. This has allowed an amazing opportunity to happen through the continued support which I have received from The Royal British Legion. I was invited by the Director General to exhibit all 24 original paintings at The Royal Albert Hall in November for The Festival of Remembrance.

I never imagined when I began painting it that it would become such a large collection and once I had completed one, the next was literally bursting out of me!

It is also the intent to take the paintings and display them at the National Memorial Arboretum next year prior to them going up for sale, with donations being made to The Royal British Legion.

As I find comfort and inspiration painting through the quiet of night, I have a lot of missed sleep to catch up on!

It is wonderful to be able to combine the two things I am so very passionate about – supporting our troops and painting!

Giveaway Jacqueline Hurley is very kindly offering one of our readers the chance to have their very own print by the artist herself! Up for grabs is “My Knight In Body Armour”. If you would like to get your hands on this beautiful print signed by Jacqueline simply answer the following question...

What does POSH stand for? Send us your answer either via email to competitions@ forcespublishing.co.uk or in the post to: Forces & Corporate Publishing Ltd, Hamblin House, Hamblin Court, Rushden, Northants NN10 0RU Closing date 25/05/16

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Queen Victoria School, Dunblane Wendy Bellars, Head

Open Morning is Saturday, 17th September 2016 Queen Victoria School (QVS) is a co-educational boarding school fully funded for tuition and boarding by the Ministry of Defence to provide stability and continuity of education for the children of UK Armed Forces personnel who are Scottish, or who have served in Scotland or who have been members of a Scottish regiment. There are 277 pupil places in the School, ranging from Primary 7 through to S6. Age-ranges within each year-group are wide, however, because of the very varied and inevitably disrupted educational backgrounds from which the pupils come. One pupil came into S3 having been to 13 different schools; others into P7 having been to eleven different schools – and these are not just different schools, but different education systems as well. If QVS pupils were not at the School, they would be attending whichever was the local school in the area in which their parents were posted. QVS has a particular brief from the Ministry of Defence to care for those eligible families who could not otherwise afford boarding education. Ceremonial – piping, drumming, Highland Dancing and drill – constitutes an important part of the life of the School and is a visible link between the pupils and the work that their parents have chosen to do, in the UK Armed Forces. The Pipes, Drums and Dancers of QVS are internationally renowned, having played at tattoos both at home and abroad, and have been invited to play at the Basel Tattoo this year. Academic results are consistently well above the national averages, however, and there is a wide programme of extra-curricular activities, Games and the Combined Cadet Force. Major sports are rugby – where QVS is generally considered to “punch well above its weight” as a small school – and hockey, although there is a growing commitment to football as well. QVS pupils and their families greatly value the strength of mutual support in a school community where all recognise the reality of Service life. Set in 45 acres of beautiful Perthshire countryside, Queen Victoria School is easily accessible by road, rail or air. There is no substitute for visiting a school, meeting its pupils and staff and picking up the atmosphere. If you would like to know more before travelling to Dunblane to visit us, however, and to request a DVD, please contact our Admissions Secretary on +44 (0) 131 310 2927. Alternatively, you can write to: Admissions Secretary, Queen Victoria School, Dunblane, Perthshire FK15 0JY, United Kingdom, or visit our website