Middle School Character Supplement

m

Sa e

pl on ly

AN INTRODUCTION TO

CHARACTER

Introduction

Character Glossary

Without your even knowing it, your experiences in life have built your character.

Your parents, family, friends, teachers, and communities all have had a stake in building you up to be the person you are today. Every interaction that you have with another human being or living creature shows what type of person you are. How are you respectful?

How are you responsible? How are you caring?

How are you fair? How are you a good citizen?

Believe it or not—how you answer those questions says a lot about the type of person that you are and are becoming.

People of character choose to make good choices and are firm in their words and actions.

They have a firm foundation behind them so that they can make choices that impact the world around them. People of character take the lead and succeed. They have figured out what it takes to be a good person today so that they can continue to make a difference tomorrow.

No one said it would be easy, though. Being a person of character is difficult. You have to figure out what is right in a world that is full of wrongs and stick to it, even when someone close to you might try to pressure you into another direction. Every single day is a challenge. Every day there are opportunities to make mistakes, pick up the pieces, and make better decisions tomorrow.

As you read on, you will discover how to become a person of character in communication, in relationships, in your decision making, in time management, in dealing with change and stress, and in being a global citizen. A person of character must be aware of all of these things in order to truly find balance and truth in his/her life.

People of Character—People who make good choices that benefit themselves and others and are firm in their words and actions.

on ly

Respect—Being concerned and considerate for yourself and others through your words and actions.

Responsibility—Being accountable for your thoughts, words, and actions. Being able to make choices between right and wrong.

e

Caring—The work of the heart! In addition to caring for yourself, being interested in someone else’s life or situation other than your own, and actually doing something to show that you care.

Sa

m

pl

Fairness—When everyone has the same chances to succeed or fail.

2

Citizenship—Being active in the communities you are a part of—school, church, neighborhood, city, state, nation, and world.

3

m

Sa e

pl on ly

You need to text message a friend to see if he/she is coming to the movie at 7pm.

Sa

m

pl

e

Calling a friend from school to get help with a math problem.

Asking your teacher a question about a science assignment.

You think your parents are being unfair about not allowing you to go to a basketball game with a friend.

Describe that conversation.

Instructions:

Write a statement that shares exactly how you would communicate in each of these situations. Include words and what kind of body language you may be conveying.

A blog of your day at school.

4

ANSWER

on ly

You communicate with others every day through your words, actions, facial expressions, but most of all, through your character. How you choose to communicate is a direct reflection of your character. Let’s face it—sometimes our communication is great, but other times, it just stinks.

Let’s think about what it’s like being a middle school student today. You communicate in ways that your parents and teachers never did when they were your age. You have access to the Internet with instant-messaging, you often use cell phones to chat with your friends, you text-message, you may use personal networking sites on the web, and some kids your age even blog about their lives. Not to mention that you still talk with your friends on a daily basis in the halls and classrooms at school and out of school, you interact with your teachers and principals on a daily basis, and most of all, even though you don’t want to admit it, you communicate with your parents every day. The way you communicate with each of these groups varies based on the situation and topic of discussion.

ANSWER

Greeting your best friend in person at the mall.

ANSWER

People of Character… in Communication

ANSWER

COMMUNICATION

TO

ANSWER

INTRODUCTION

ANSWER

AN

5

m

Sa e

pl on ly

m

ONE ON ONE

Sa

6

TELEPHONE TEXT MESSAGES

e

on ly

Communication is a beast of a word. It can include everything from how you write an e-mail to a friend to how you speak with your mom about what you’d like to do this weekend. However you look at it, understanding how you communicate your character is important.

A person of character must realize that every interaction he/she has with another living thing communicates a message—good or bad. That’s because communication has something called tone.

Tone is how something is perceived or interpreted based on how the communication took place.

The way a message is received depends upon the tone that is shared during the communication.

Just think about it. Do you communicate with your friends the same way that you communicate with your parents? Is the language that you use with your friends the same as when you’re talking around the dinner table with your mom and dad or your grandparents?

Probably not, because we tend to use slang and jargon when we’re just talking with our friends, and your parents don’t always appreciate that when you are talking with them. Do your parents and teachers appreciate when you are sarcastic and convey body language that shows disrespect?

No. But if you rephrase what you say and present it in a positive light, you are far more likely to get what you want.

So the big question is, how do you maintain integrity in all types of communication without harming your character?

The forms of communication that you use today each have a different set of hidden “rules” for their use. One-on-one communication seems to be the best type of communication to use, as you can look the person in the eye, can read facial and body expressions, and hopefully be able to feel the tone of what is being communicated. With the rise of the Internet, computers, and cell phones, people are now “hiding” behind technology and tone is becoming a more difficult thing to understand for many people.

Other forms of communication besides one-on-one communication are way trickier to interpret and understand.

For instance, you tend to use lots of words when you’re talking on the phone with a friend. Your voice inflection and tone can be heard on the phone, but your facial and body expressions cannot. You might be laughing out loud, but be really annoyed by what was said and have a grumpy look on your face. You could be rolling your eyes at the person, and they wouldn’t even know it. A person of character will take the time to be courteous to whomever they are speaking with on the phone, will listen intently, and will not say mean or cruel things to the person on the other line. Maintaining your integrity as a person is so important to creating a viable future.

If you instant- or textmessage that same friend, you might shorten words and use abbreviations as you type it into your phone or computer to save time, and they will have no idea what kind of tone you are wanting to convey in the message.

Something that you meant to be funny could end up hurting someone’s feelings because they didn’t know the tone that you were trying to send.

The same is true with e-mail. When a person sends an e-mail, we don’t see the person’s face as they are typing. That’s why we tend to use (ha-ha), (wink-wink) or (just kidding) to help the other person know what we are meaning by what was typed. Here again, once it’s in words on the screen, it’s hard to take something back. You never know how something is going to be interpreted, so choose your words wisely. It’s also very important to think about whom you are sending the message to before you write it. If you are sending a message to your friend, you might use slang and jargon, but if you are sending a message to an adult or a business, you would write it using correct grammar, usage, and spelling.

pl

SET THE TONE

What message are you sending out toward others?

NETWORKING

E-MAIL

AN INTRODUCTION TO

pl

e

on ly

With the world of the Internet, you have access to many websites, social networking sites, chatrooms, blogs, and so much more. It’s very important for you to stay safe and not share personal information on sites, as you could become a target for someone with bad intentions. When creating your screen names, don’t include your graduation year or anything that would give a clue about your age. If someone asks you inappropriate questions about sex or asks you to meet them somewhere, don’t go. Tell an adult right away that this happened.

Stay on sites that are “safe” and that your parents approve. Your safety is number one priority. Cyberbullying is becoming more prevalent with kids your age because of the use of social networking sites and instant-messaging.

If you feel like you are being bullied, talk to an adult at home or at school right away to get the issue resolved quickly. No one has the right to ridicule or harm you emotionally through the words that they type on a screen and send on the information super highway.

You have a right to be safe emotionally and physically…period. Anyone who endangers that is sending the wrong type of communication out!

The bottom line is that in order for you to be successful in life, you have to know how to communicate with others. Mastering the art of communication takes time and practice.

Learning how to communicate one-on-one versus working with a team versus using technology to communicate involves quite a learning curve.

The hardest part of all is maintaining integrity by being responsible, respectful, caring, and fair people as we communicate. If we don’t have that integrity and understand how messages are perceived and conveyed in our changing society, we will do more harm than good.

Think before you speak. Think before you type and click send. Think before you share.

Your character and integrity are on the line.

Be a communicator of character in all that you say and do.

Sa

m

WORLD WIDE WEB

AND COMMUNICATION

7

e

m

FAMLIY

Sa

8

AT SCHOOL

on ly

We live our lives in circles. We have our immediate family, our extended family, our school friends, our classmates, our neighborhood friends, our acquaintances, etc. Sometimes our circles overlap, but other times they don’t. The relationships that we build within our “circles” vary based on the experiences that we share with the people in each circle.

But what builds a relationship? A healthy and strong relationship is built on trust. Trust isn’t something that just happens. It has to be nurtured and worked on every day.

Think of your best friend. Were you best friends the first day you met? Probably not.

You more than likely knew that you enjoyed being around the person, but you weren’t about to spill your deepest, darkest secrets with that person on the first day of your friendship.

You had to get to know him/her, share some experiences together, and build a trust before sharing and understanding could happen. If you can’t trust someone, they probably aren’t worth your time.

There are many types of relationships.

The relationship you have with your parents is very different than the relationship you have with close friends. Relationships are forms of connectedness.

How connected you feel with another person depends mostly on interaction.

The bond that you have with your mom and dad should be different than the bond you have with a close friend. Those relationships are supposed to be different, and how a person builds a relationship is what makes the bonds weak or strong.

You may not see eye to eye with your parents all the time, but you are still bonded to them.

You may have disagreements with your friends, but you still share the bond of friendship.

Relationships in school take on many meanings.

You have relationships with teachers, principals, and counselors that are on a professional level. You have the students you see in the hallway as acquaintances, but you really don’t know them as a person. You have the students that you have class with each day.

You might sit next to someone or work with a team for a project, but they may not be a close friend. You have your core group of friends that you hang out with whenever you can. All of these relationships build your school environment. If any one of those relationships is out of whack, your day could go from fabulous to horrible in a heartbeat. What’s funny about it all is that if one relationship is out of whack, quite possibly one of your other relationships will be the help you need to get your day back on track.

Take the time to build solid relationships at school, as you spend much of your day there.

Knowing that you have people you can trust can make all of the difference in your outlook on life.

It’s important to understand that we all have differences. Because we have differences, we can learn from one another. People of character are not biased or rude to other people. Instead, they take the high road and treat people with respect, no matter what people around them say.

This can be difficult when you decide to befriend the new kid, the student who obviously doesn’t have any friends, or to come to the aid of someone who is being bullied or sexually harassed while your group of friends snickers in the background. A person of character doesn’t stand by and let someone else do what is right.

He/she knows what is right in a given situation, and will do whatever it takes to help someone out. He/she is not caught up with social status, what people think of them, or how much money someone has. He/she believes that being a person of character is about doing good things each day.

When you take the time to build relationships with the people in your life, you will be connected to them in a healthy and strong way.

Connectedness is what holds relationships together, and people of character know how to stay connected to one another. Choose your relationships wisely, and take the time to build them to be strong and healthy.

pl

YOUR BFF

LIFE

People of Character… in Relationships

RELATIONSHIPS

ACCEPTING DIFFERENCES

AN INTRODUCTION TO

RELATIONSHIPS

on ly

e

pl

Sa

m

TOUGH DECISIONS SAY NO TO DRUGS

Decisions. Decisions. Decisions. We make hundreds of decisions each day—from what to eat to what to wear to how to treat the kid you sit next to on the bus or the lunchroom. Decisions are everywhere. What you decide is entirely up to you.

Being a person of character means that as you are making these hundreds of decisions each day, you are asking yourself, “Am I keeping what is right at the forefront?”

Too many times it’s easy to get caught up in peer pressure and the desire to belong to the group and not stick out. But it’s in those times that decision making is most important.

No one wants to stick out. It is a human’s desire to belong to the group. But sometimes making a good decision means making a conscious choice to “stick out” and do what is good and right for you.

There may be times in your life when you are offered drugs or alcohol by a peer. There are so many risks that are involved when you choose to use drugs or alcohol. Your body is at a stage of development that it cannot handle such things—that is why it is illegal for you to smoke, drink, or use drugs. Rules are made for your safety, and should not be broken.

Not only does the use of drugs or alcohol hurt your body, it impairs your judgment and could lead you to make decisions that you will regret later.

Middle school is a time in your life when you begin to notice people of the opposite sex. Boys are suddenly cute or handsome, and girls are suddenly beautiful and mysterious.

This is when decision making is very important.

Friendship is most important during this time in your life. Becoming involved in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship may not be right for you. The choice is yours. There are more kids than not that choose to be friends with kids of the opposite sex and make a conscious decision to not become involved physically or sexually with another person.

9

RELATIONSHIPS

When you become involved in a physical relationship with another person, more decisions have to be made, and quite frankly, your adolescent mind is not ready to make those decisions. So the best way to deal with the opposite sex is to just be friends. Sometimes when the boyfriend/girlfriend thing is added into the mix, it causes friendships to feel awkward and weird. Instead, try some of these things. Hang out with your friends at school. Go to the movies together. Spend time going to sporting events and cheering each other on. Join clubs or teams together and become active in service organizations. You’ll find that the time that you spend together will be way more fun!

People of character take decision making very seriously. How you choose to live your life is a direct reflection of your character. The decisions you make today impact your future.

Make those decisions wisely.

People of Character… in Decision Making

pl m Sa 10

ENVIRONMENT PHYSICAL CHANGES

on ly

Middle School is often a time of transition for many kids. You are no longer an elementary student, but you’re not yet in high school. It’s a time of exploration and trying to figure out who you really are. There are so many changes, that sometimes you probably feel like your head is just spinning!

You might be in a new school building or a different wing of your school. This new environment might feel daunting and overwhelming at first, but be assured that as you take the time to adjust to this new change in your life, it will get better!

Maybe you have a new schedule to deal with—going from having only a couple teachers to having more. That is going to take some adjusting as well. But probably the biggest change is the shift in responsibility that comes with being in the middle school or progressing through the grades in a middle school. Every year adds more responsibility. Your parents expect more of you. Your teachers expect more of you. Your coaches expect more of you.

Expectations get higher and higher.

On top of all of this, you are changing quite rapidly. This time in your life is called adolescence. There may be lots of ups and downs in your mood—one minute you feel wonderful and ready to take on the world and the next you’re ready to retreat and just be by yourself for awhile. Physically your body is developing its way into adulthood, and with that, your body image is changing. Your voice changes, the shape of your body changes, you are dealing with physical aspects of growing up that seem awkward and sometimes embarrassing, and you feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster! Mentally, you can’t wait to grow up, but then again you might be scared to take on the responsibility of what adulthood brings with it. Guess what? All of this is normal.

But it doesn’t make it any easier to handle every single day.

The changes that you see in your body and your mind sometimes cause changes to happen in other aspects of your life. The relationships you have with your friends and family probably will change slightly. What is important throughout it all is that you remember that people of character take the time to think before they speak. Often times we say things that we really don’t mean, and we end up hurting someone. Take the time to remember that if you value the relationships that you have with your family and friends, you will take the time to build those relationships every single day and not take a day off! If the relationships you have with friends and family stay stable, dealing with the changes that are happening elsewhere will be way easier!

e

ENVIRONMENT

People of Character… in Dealing with Change

CHANGE

MENTAL CHANGES

AN INTRODUCTION TO

m

pl

e 11

USE TOOLS

on ly

Do you feel like you’re always busy? Do you feel like you’re always trying to juggle several things that you’re involved in just to keep your head above water?

Kids today are busy. It’s a fact of life in our society. The toughest part is finding balance in your life as a young teenager. You need time with your friends, time for your activities, time with your family, and most importantly, time for you. Carving out enough time for each of those aspects of your life is difficult, but it can be done well if you plan for it!

You have been given a great tool for time management—this planner! Your teachers and your parents expect you to use it, but your planner isn’t about them—it’s about you! If you learn to use your planner well now, you will set yourself up for success. Many adults today use either paper or electronic planners every single day to stay organized. They are busy, too, and when you’re a parent, not only do you have your own schedule to keep straight, but you have your entire family’s schedule to keep organized as well! If you begin a good habit of keeping a good planner now, your life later on will be much easier.

So how can you use this planner?

The obvious thing is to use it to write down your assignments and keep track of homework, but it’s way more than that.

You should have your entire life in that planner. It’s not just for school. If you have soccer practice on Tuesday night from 5:30-6:30, it should be in your planner. If you have drama practice on Monday and Wednesday right after school, that should be written in as well.

If Thursday night is piano lessons, make sure you’ve got it in your planner. If you have a family dinner with your grandparents on Friday night, write it in.

That way you’ll know that if your friend asks you to the movies, you’ll have to decline as your family already has your time for that evening. It’s a matter of using this tool to stay organized!

When you have your entire “life” in your planner, you are able to see the big picture. You can see the week-at-a-glance and know how your evenings will be spent, and therefore, you might want to make every effort to use every minute in school efficiently so that you don’t have homework. There’s a reason why it’s called a planner—it’s meant to help you plan ahead so that you use your time in and out of school effectively!

Above all, don’t forget to plan time for you. Every minute of every day does not have to be planned.

In order for your mind and body to stay balanced, you need “down” time. Be sure to schedule time for you to do things that you enjoy—perhaps reading a book, writing in a journal, listening to your favorite music on your MP3 player, visiting your favorite websites, etc.

By taking some time for you, you will be better able to deal with the stress that sometimes comes with being a kid today!

Sa

USE TOOLS

PLANNERS RULE

BALANCE

People of Character… in Time Management

OF TIME

TIME OUT

MANAGEMENT

on ly

Family life can also cause stress in your life.

There are so many types of families these days.

There are traditional family units, but there are lots of kids that are shuffled between parents on weekends or during the week, which makes it hard to have continuity in life. The biggest thing to remember is to figure out what works for your family. Celebrate the relationships that you have with your family, and try not to let your emotions control you. People of character take each day as it comes and try to figure out how to do something good with that day. Yelling at your little sister or your mom isn’t going to fix anything. Exhibit some self-control, share your feelings when you are having a good or bad day, and act in appropriate ways. You will be less stressed and better able to deal with family stressors.

Taking time for yourself is a great way to relieve stress. You need downtime every day to decompress and reflect on your day. This time alone allows your mind and body to get the rest it needs. You need to rest your world so that you can take on a new day tomorrow.

Along with downtime, a regular exercise program is a great stress reliever. Remember, schedule that time for you.

Your mind and body will thank you for being respectful and responsible to yourself, and your stress levels will decrease!

m

pl

e

Is being a middle school student stressful?

There are lots of middle school students who feel stressed every day.

There’s the pressure to do well in school and get good grades for yourself and also to please parents.

With this pressure comes the stress of more homework than was had in elementary school.

It’s expected as you grow and develop mentally, you need to be challenged to think in more diverse ways, therefore, with each year in school comes higher expectations from teachers. And then several times a year, stress levels rise in your schools as it’s time to take the tests for chapters or state/national assessments. All of this could stress a person out…and this is just from school.

What about outside of academics? There’s stress that can come from friends and dealing with “middle school drama.” You know what this is—this person isn’t talking to that person because he said this or she said that, and the group that you hang out with is getting all upset and talking about it which causes even more stress so now no one is talking to anyone. Or when someone starts a rumor about a person and it truly does end up hurting the person that it is about because it wasn’t true in the first place. A person of character will choose not to take part in the “drama.” They take the high road and live the Golden Rule—Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

No one wants to be hurt emotionally or physically. Do your best to keep hurt from happening to yourself or others.

Sa

STRESSFUL SITUATIONS

People of Character… in Dealing with Stress

STRESS

12

FAMILY LIFE

HANDLING

13

m

Sa e

pl on ly

GLOBAL

CITIZEN

14

WORLD

SCHOOL

CITY

m

pl

STATE

e

NATION

on ly

Being a person of character is far more than just being respectful, responsible, caring, and fair. It’s about taking all of those things and putting them into action by being a good citizen.

We live in a global society. Goods and services are traded all over the world every single day. The rise in the use of the Internet has expanded the availability of products by the click of a mouse. We are connected to people worldwide through technology, but there are other ways that we can be connected.

Being a global citizen means that you are aware and see the impact of your personal decisions on your surroundings. Taking the time to care about your own school, city, state, nation and world means that every day is an opportunity to bring about change.

One of the first decisions you have is to take the privilege of an education seriously. The education that you are receiving is not something that all kids your age in the world have. Plug in to your education every single day. Taking the time to value your education increases your impact on the world. An educated mind is priceless. An educated mind can make solid decisions and make a difference in the world.

Maybe your global impact will be to be valiant in your efforts to preserve the Earth.

Championing recycling in your neighborhood and school could be a start. Reducing your global impact by making choices that reduce our consumption of fossil fuels could be next. If the world is not taken care of today, the Earth will not be the same for your children. Be proactive today by being a global citizen and caring about the Earth.

You are the future and the future needs you to step up and encourage conservation and global citizenship!

Sa

REDUCE - REUSE - RECYCLE

BE PROUD

COMMUNITY

People of Character‌ in Being a Global Citizen

“Step up� to Citizenship

Sa

m

pl

e

on ly

*Instructions: Citizens impact the world with their personal decisions.

Take a minute to fill in the staircase with things that you can do to impact each of the communities in which you are a member. Remember, every day is an opportunity for good citizens to bring about change!

15

m

Sa e

pl on ly