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The Faces of Hockaday Counseling Katherine Grace Estess, News Editor, and Caroline Petrikas, Staff Writer
How confidential is seeing the counselor?
How should I help a friend struggling with mental health?
How can students reduce stress?
When should I tell an adult?
It is confidential. The one thing I like to tell students is that if I feel like you’re in jeopardy of hurting yourself or hurting somebody else, then that’s where I have to tell a trusted adult. Other than that, you can really talk to me about anything, and I will help you work through it. If it’s something that I feel like needs to be talked about with your parents, we will work through that. Like I told students this week when I was talking to them, if there is anything like that, we can call your parents together. I would never betray the trust that I have with one of my students, but typically it’s confidential unless it’s an extreme situation.
Raquel McKinney, Upper School Counselor
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Listen to your body and listen to yourself talk. If you feel yourself at that boiling point where you’re like ‘this is too much,’ you have to just kind of take a step back and just say what needs to go.”
Wow. I think this takes self care and students recognizing limitations they have. If you are so booked that you’re not being able to give everything your full potential or your full effort, then you’re not serving yourself well or serving the programs and your classes that you’re doing. I think that’s just the learning lesson: sometimes you have to really recognize what your passions are. Or, if you know what you are most passionate about, whether you can see yourself giving it up. I would never tell a student to let go of a passion, but I would encourage the student to really evaluate what is most important to them and what makes them the most happy and focus on those while being able to do your schoolwork.
What is the goal of Wellness Wednesday?
Why did you decide to become a counselor?
I think in college I realized that I wanted to do something that was helping people and I didn’t know what that looked like. I knew I was getting a degree in sociology and I thought, ‘OK, I need to figure out what direction I’m going to take it.’ I ended up going into social work because I knew that there was a variety I could work with. Then, I ultimately ended up in school counseling.
It’s just to highlight mental health and let students know that mental health is there, we all have it. Mental health is not bad; you can have solid health and then you can have some of that you’re struggling with. Neither one is necessarily right or wrong. I would love for students to reach out to the counselors as much as they feel. That’s one thing I’ve learned about coming to Hockaday is I was told that some students are a little bit leery about coming to the counselor because they think that means you have a problem. That’s not the case at all. I think it’s just healthy to come talk and just share feelings because, let’s face it, we are human. We’re all girls here so I know we have emotions, we feel and we feel deeply.
Certainly lend an ear, be there for them, talk to them, but recognize that you don’t have to take on that responsibility yourself; that’s why we’re here. There are support systems in place for you to be able to reach out to. Sometimes it takes a friend going to a counselor to tell them ‘my friend is really struggling,’ and it could be with any mental health issue. Sometimes it’s eating disorders or depression. I’ve had one person come to me and say their family is really not in a good place right now, they are arguing and stuff, and she’s just really been crying a lot. So just reaching out, helping and being a friend, but recognize that there are professionals out there who can help. When there are safety concerns, or changes in behavior. Certainly retreating, not wanting to hang out as much, sadness, feeling like they just can’t be happy. Maybe if you see a change in their eating or a change of maybe some negative decisionmaking, whether that be drinking or substance abuse. Things where you’re like, ‘OK, this student’s not coping with things appropriately, so maybe we should reach out.’”
What advice would you give to someone who feels overwhelmed?
Listen to your body and listen to yourself talk. If you feel yourself at that boiling point where you’re like ‘this is too much,’ you have to just kind of take a step back and just say what needs to go. Another approach that I like to take is you put it all into perspective. If this doesn’t get done, what’s going to happen? Recognize that sometimes it’s OK not to be Superwoman, right? You can just kind of prioritize what’s most important and what needs to be done and then give yourself permission to not get everything done if it doesn’t happen.
What has been the greatest challenge to mental health caused by the pandemic?
Isolation. One student said something to me at the beginning of the year that stuck with me. She said, ‘I am hug-starved.’ I had not heard that term before, but she just wanted to hug. I think the greatest challenge is just the isolation of being unable to interact without these masks.
