Profile by talya abkowitz

A Life Of Coaching She coaches lives while living her own...

Written by Tali Abkowitz t’s 6 am, Barbara Gottesman wakes up to Beemer and Bently, her golden doodles, begging for food and waiting for their morning walk.

Her two kids, Danielle and Harrison, run around the house as they get dressed, make breakfast, and get their belongings together for school. A devoted mother, Barb assists her kids—and her dogs—in any way necessary until they leave

for school. Ten minutes before it is time to leave the house, she walks down the hallway to find her son, Harrison, crying on his bed. She asks him what’s wrong and she discovers that he had been bullied the day before and didn’t want to go to school. Barb works some subtle word magic on Harrison, and in no time he is up jumping around and ready for the school day. Michael, her husband, then drops off

the kids at school at 8:30am. Once the house is quiet and calm, her day truly begins: two cups of coffee, breakfast, and her first phone call. Barb types in the phone number of her first client and waits as the line rings three times. Before long, someone’s world will forever be changed.

Dark hair and fair skin, Barb blends into the crowd of middleage parents at her children’s Jew-

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ish high school. However, she is different: she does not mold to the stereotypical identity of most parents. Gottesman does not spend her day holed up in an office. She does not have a boss, employees, or designated hours. She is a life coach. Being a life coach is very unconventional in comparison to a therapist. According to USA Today, “Life coaches are a new option for the worried well — those whose lives are only slightly askew.

No longer do they need a diagnosis from a psychotherapist who delves into the painful past. Using the telephone or Internet, they can sign up with an upbeat life coach who becomes a partner in defining a better future” (“Life-coaches All the Rage.”).

When Barb goes to work in the morning, she just walks across

her kitchen to her dining room table. She works from home and does most of her life coaching lessons over the phone. Although this may seem impersonal because it is not face to face, Barb assures her clients that she is known for being warm and encouraging. According to Barb, “as a life coach, I help examine where [clients] want improvements in their life” (Gottesman). One person with whom she is very close, her son, Harrison, explains, “when I’m having trouble making a decision she gives me strategies on how to make a smart choice” (Mitgang). When asked what makes Barb different from other life coaches, she responded, “for me, it’s really important that I encourage at the same time as being truthful with each other” (Gottesman).

However, Barb didn’t always want to be a life coach. She recalls that most of her friends were going into the psychology field of study and she wanted to study off the beaten path. In just a few short years, she found herself with a law degree and a very unhappy inner self.

She knew this isn’t what she truly wanted to be doing. She knew she wanted to help others in her career and when she researched about life coaching she found that, “Life coaches can specialize in areas like relationships, careers or personal growth” (“Getting ‘Unstuck’”). Becoming a life coach required no extra schooling, and she could pretty much start whenever she pleased.

Eventually she started her own life coaching business, BGC Coaching & Consulting. This led her to where she is now: ten years into a

successful coaching business.

The Mitgang/Gottesman family consists of two kids, two dogs, and a loving husband. On top of her career, she is a published author. Her book teaches you how to get rid of your inner demons. The book includes excerpts from a blog that she kept during her a two and a half year sailing trip around the world. In her book, Barb relates her personal struggles to pirates.

She describes her pirate’s as inner thoughts that hold her back from moving forward with her goals. Not only are there physical pirates, but there are also mental pirates that can hold you back.

Together they love to adventure in the Santa Cruz Mountains, take their dogs to the many beautiful California beaches, and eat delicious home cooked meals. While Barb is known to the public as a life coach, she is known to her kids simply as Mom, which suits her best.

There is no doubt that Barb is someone special, whether it be in her professional or personal life.

One evening Barb’s husband, Michael, came home unusually late. Barb has a clear memory of him quite randomly suggesting “we should rent out our house, buy a boat, and go sailing with the kids for a year” (Gottesman 15). Shocked out of her mind, Barb couldn’t comprehend what she was hearing. It took several months, and a lot of thinking to get on board with the idea. It would be almost a year after that night before they were officially on the boat and ready to set sail throughout the south Pacific and eventually to Australia. On October 26, 2010 Barb, her husband, Michael, and their two kids embarked upon a sailing journey they never thought would happen. Like any mother,

Barb had initial reservations about the trip. She remembers thinking, “I hate the water. I can’t even help my kids with their homework without World War III breaking out, let alone homeschooling them” (Gottesman 15). However, t h e y d i d i t .

They s e t off and didn’t come back to Menlo Park, California for two and a half years. She overcame her fear of sailing, as well as her pirates that were holding her back from leaving on this expedition.

Barb recalls in her book, “We can-

not look back. We must look ahead.

And if changes need to be made, we make them as yet another decision in our path” (Gottesman 12). Before Barb and her family began their sailing journey, their son Harrison, then 8 years old, encountered a health issue. This set their family back several months.

They were left with the choice to take the risk of leaving and have something happen out in the middle of the ocean or to stay on shore and play it safe.

In her book, Gottesman talks about the process she takes with each of her clients when she’s coaching: evaluate their options, make a decision, and pursue it. In this first part of the book, we see Barb having to identify options when there is a health setback for her family while out on the boat. They then have to make a decision about what to do, eventually choosing to go on, pursue their dream, and hope for the best.

An informative website on life coaching suggests that “successful individuals, like successful businesses, tend to have a clear idea of what they want to achieve” (“Personal Coaching”). Not everyone, however, has a clear idea of what she wants to achieve. Looking into the future can be a stressor for anyone. Ask just about anyone in my class at school, and they will tell you that just the thought of college gives them anxiety. So imagine being in your late 40s, with a husband, two kids, two dogs, and try to imagine thinking about the future.

Throughout her book Barb talks about living in the present and not focussing on the past or the future.

Although Barb does not see herself at her current job in five years, she does see herself still in the field of life coaching. She notes that, “as a

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“Without going outside of your comfort zone you don’t grow and you don’t change.” ~Barb Gottesman~

life coach you usually have plans beyond this and I don’t! I have no idea where it’s gonna take me” (Gottesman). In the future, Barb sees herself traveling, possibly to Madagascar. She dreams of living in Israel for a year, learning Spanish, acting in a play, losing 15 pounds. Overall, she aspires to be a continuous learner and be forever curious. Realistically, she “think[s] what I’d like to do is integrate [life coaching] into a more

spiritual practice, and specifically zone you don’t grow and you don’t change” (Gottesman). a jewish practice” (Gottesman).

Needless to say, Barbara Gottesman is a special person. Learning how to slay your own personal pirates cannot be an easy accomplishment – but believe in yourself, follow some simple guidelines and you’ll get there. So, whether you’re sailing out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean or sitting on your living room couch, “without going outside of your comfort

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Works Cited “Getting ‘unstuck’: Does Your Life Need a Coach?” CNN, 1 Aug. 2007. Web. 5 Oct. 2015.

Gottesman, Barbara. How to Slay a Pirate: Lessons on Success from Sailing the Pacific.

S.l.:Alicia Dunams International, 2013. Print.

Gottesman, Barbara. Personal interview. 25 Sept. 2015.

Gottesman, Barbara. Personal interview. 28 Sept. 2015.

Mitgang, Danielle. Personal interview. 27 Sept. 2015.

Mitgang, Harrison. Personal interview. 5 Oct. 2015.

“Personal Coaching to Change Your Life.” Personal Coaching to Change Your Life. N.p., n.d.

Web. 05 Oct. 2015.

“Life-coaches All the Rage.” USATODAY.com - Life-coaches All the Rage. N.p., 06 Aug. 2002.

Web. 21 Sept. 2015.

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