Ink 2021-2022

I nk L iter atur e & Ar t Magazine 2021-2022

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T ab l e o f C o n t en t s:

Pages:

Writing T i cket st u b i n a B i bl e by Z oë A l ter

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U n t i t l ed by L i n d say M cCam m on

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W al k i n g For w ar d bu t L ook i n g B ack w ar d s by M el an i a D i ah

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H om e by K at i a Cam p os

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T h e Gr een h ou se by L i n d say M cVai l

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Ban d i t by L ei gh N ew m an

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T r an sf or m at i on T h r ou gh O r d eal by Sam Ya

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D eaf Ear s by Kon r ad Sm i th

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Pr et t y L i t t l e L i ar / I t Cou l d be W or se by A n on y m ou s

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Ram bl i n gs of an I n som n i ac by D ar i a Sh ep el av y

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H ow t o d ay d r eam l i ke y ou m ean i t, by an ex- cl osetee

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Fer r i s W h eel by Car r i e Teti

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Ph ot ogr ap h s by Sad i e For m an

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Sw oosh , T h u d , T h w ack by D ev Gu p ta

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O n T r ad er Joe's M i n i Ch ocol ate M i n t Star s by Z oë A l ter

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V i gn et t e # 1 by M ar cu s Ch i an g

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Eu caly p t u s an d M en th ol by Foti n i M ou r el atos

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T h e H i gh Road by L au r en Coss

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Ack n ow l ed gem en ts

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Artwork Credits Kon r ad Sm i t h 1, 6 Ad el e Gol d ad er 2, 13, 22 Bl ake Ri esen f el d 3, 5 Gabr i el Ri ccar d i , 4, 7, 27 M i co Car p i n i el l o 9 Ch i ar a D el Test a 10 Fot i n i M ou r el atos 13, 17, 23 V i n ai gr et t e 18 Au r or a Soosaar 19 Em m et Su n 21, 22

A h u ge th an k y ou to M ar i Rey es-Toi d ze an d th e A r t Cl u b f or m ak i n g ou r cover ar t an d to D ar i a an d Gr ace f or ar r an gi n g i t !

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D ear r ead er s, ou r h op e i s th at y ou r ead to l ear n oth er s' stor i es an d th at th i s p l at f or m h el p s y ou t o ach i eve th at. I w as gl ad to be a p ar t of th i s m agazi n e an d h op e y ou en joy.

- Gr ace I h op e t h at y ou en joy th e m agazi n e an d al l of th e i n cr ed i bl e su bm i ssi on s. I 'm so h ap p y t o h ave been a p ar t of th i s p r oject an d I can 't w ai t to be a p ar t of i t n ex t y ear as w el l .

T h an k y ou to ou r sen i or s an d I h op e w e'l l m ake y ou p r ou d n ex t y ear .

- D ar i a W el l , t h i s h as been a w i l d r i d e. Fr om f r esh m an to sen i or , I h ave been p ar t of I N K , an d a p ar t of t h e Fr i en d s' Cen tr al com m u n i ty f or qu i te a w h i l e l on ger th an th at. I r em em ber seei n g cop i es of I N K i n th e L ow er Sch ool , l ai d ou t on th e en tr y tabl e by th e ad m i ssi on s d esk , an d m ar vel i n g at ever y th i n g th at h ad been cr eated by p eop l e w h o seem ed i m p ossi bly ol d er th an m e, an d n ow h er e I am . A n oth er m agazi n e d on e, an ot h er y ear com p l ete, an d i t i s m y ti m e to l eave. A l l I can say i s th at I tr u ly h op e to r ecei ve cop i es of al l th e r en d i ti on s of I N K th at ar e to com e i n th e m ai l as I p u r su e m y l i f e ou t si d e of th e FCS com m u n i ty. T h an k y ou al l f or bei n g h er e, an d f or su p p or t i n g t h i s ti n y sch ool m agazi n e, w h i ch I h op e w i l l con ti n u e to f oster th e cr eati ve sp i r i t i n st u d en t s of all ages f or y ear s to com e.

- Ad el e Som eh ow L u ci d p r ess d i d n 't cr ash w h i l e I w as sl ap p i n g th i s togeth er . A gr eat bi g t h an k y ou t o Ad el e f or tak i n g th e r ei n s, so to sp eak , an d tu r n i n g m y h od ge- p od ge of w or k i n t o a com p r eh en si ve m agazi n e. I can 't qu i te com p r eh en d h ow I 'm a sen i or n ow an d I 'm n ot com i n g back , y 'k n ow ? T h i s i s i t. I am so gl ad an d gr atef u l to h ave been a m em ber an d co- l ead er of th i s cl u b, al on g w i th bei n g a con tr i bu tor . Far ew el l an d best of l u ck t o t h e n ex t gen er ati on s of ar ti sts an d w r i ter s. I am so gr atef u l f or al l of y ou . Sen d m e an d Ad el e a cop y ever y n ow an d th en , al r i gh t?

Sti ck Peop l e by - Fot i n i Jor d an A m en Ra

V i ce- A ssi stan t Beem u s by Em m et Su n

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T i ck et st u b i n a B i b l e Z oë A l t er I f ou n d a t i cket stu b i n th e Pr i est's Bi bl e, si tti n g r i gh t i n L ev i t i cu s, en d f u r l ed f r om h i s bi g w i d e f i n ger s, col or s sm u d gi n g t h e l etter s of th e H oly t ex t . I d i d n ?t k n ow w h at t o d o ot h er t h an star e at i t, st ar e at i t f or so l on g th at i t l each ed i t s br i gh t p atter n i n to m y br ai n , t i l l I cou l d r em em ber w or d f or w or d th e scr i bbl ed n u m ber on th e back .

I ?m a m an of God , n oth i n g m or e or l ess, ol d sch ool ju n k i e- t u r n ed bl u e- col l ar , Ph oto by Kon r ad Sm i th i r on ed t i es, an d w r i n k l ed sl ack s. I w ash m y h an d s tw i ce w i t h soap , w ash m y f eet too, com b m y h ai r back an d go to Ch u r ch , d o m y con f essi on s, say m y H ai l M ar y s f or m y Pr i est. H e l i sten s to m e l on g an d h ar d , m e tal k i n g abou t m y si n s, h i m gr an t i n g m e a bl essi n g of f r eed om , a si n l ess m an i s h e, a f r esh sl ate of h u m an ex i st en ce. I t h i n k h e i s p ar t of God , an ex ten si on of h i m , th ou gh I ?d n ever say i t .

T h at t i cket st u b w on ?t l eave m y m i n d , n o m att er h ow h ar d I tr y to f or get i t, si tti n ?d ow n i n t h e d i n er w i th th e cof f ee, m ed i u m r oast, n ot col d br ew th an k y ou , h ot w i th som e St ev i a i n i t . I w i sh I ?d got m ar r i ed to th at gi r l d ow n i n Savan n ah , bu t sh e d r an k som et h i n g bi t t er an d sw am d ow n th e r i ver , n ever cam e u p , th ey sai d th ey f ou n d h er r est i n g on t h e bor d er of Sou th Car ol i n a, w on d er i f sh e?d been th i n k i n ?of cr ossi n g. I f I ?d m ar r i ed h er at l east I ?d h ave a r i n g to f i d d l e w i th , n ot ju st th i s cu p , th i s n ap k i n , th i s f or k , an d k n i f e.

I ?ll d r i ve d ow n to th e ad d r ess on th at stu b, cal l th e n u m ber , h an g u p th e secon d i t gets p i cked u p f or l ack of w or d s, con f i r m at i on gr an ted bu t n ot w an ted . L ook i n g at th e f l ash i n g l i gh t s, n eon si gn l abel ed D ah l i a, som e p r etty n o- n am ed f l ow er , I ?m h ear i n g th e l ou d m u si c f r om i n si d e, I see th e w om an 's si l h ou ette as a p r op n ex t to th e n am e. I ?ll si t i n m y car , h at l ow over m y f ace, obstr u cted i n w h at I h op e ar e sh ad ow s, as m i n u t es tu r n t o h ou r s, an d even i n ?to m i d n i gh t.

H i s car p u l l s u p , I w ai t f or th e d oor to op en , w on d er i n ?i f I ?ll d o an y th i n g, say an y t h i n g, ap p r oach h i m or ju st keep si tti n ?. H e op en s th at d oor an d stan d s, n o m or e bl ack an d w h i t e, i n st ead of a w r i n k l ed gr ey sh i r t w i th som e ol i ve sl ack s. H e d oesn 't l ook r i gh t to m e, al l m an an d n o God r i gh t th er e, al l h u m an n o an gel . H e w al k s to th e oth er si d e of t h e car , op en s th e p assen ger si d e d oor , h el p s ou t th e w om an si tti n ?th er e.

I ?ll w i sh sh e w as som e cow l i ke cr eatu r e, al l u gly an d m ar r ed , th e D ev i l tak i n g h u m an f or m an d t r y n a take d ow n God w i th h i m . L u ci f er em bod i ed as a w om an , l on g bl ack n ai l s, l at ex su i t , h an d gr i p p i n g th e Pr i est's n eck l i ke a Sad i st. T h at?s w h at I ?ll w i sh sh e l ook s l i ke, bu t sh e w on ?t l ook l i ke th at. Sh e?ll l ook el egan t , sl en d er , d ar k ci r cl es u n d er ey es f r om w h i t e l i n es, l i p sti ck m essy f r om h er joy - r i d e w i th h i m . Sh e got a str i p ed scar f , w r ap p ed r ou n d h er ar m , I k n ow w h at sh e?s h i d i n g. Sh e?ll stagger on h i s ar m , sh e?s i n t ox i cat ed , t oo m u ch so to w al k , h e?s p u l l i n g h er w i th h i m to th e cl u b, d r aggi n g h er , sh e beat s at h i s ar m on ce, tw i ce, th en goes l i m p , l ets h i m p u l l h er aw ay.

I sh ou l d get ou t of m y car r i gh t n ow, go sei ze h er , take h er aw ay f r om h i m . I sh ou l d m ake h i s ey es as d ar ken ed as h er s, sl am m i n g a f i st i n to f ace, beati n g si n d ow n th e w ay h e d i d f or m e. I n stead , I ?ll d r i ve to th at al l ey, scu f f l i n g i n m y coat an d p an ts f or a bi l l . I ?ll go h om e, l i tt l e p l asti c baggi e i n h an d , p u l l ou t som e cu tl er y f or a f ood l ess m eal . I ?ll th i n k of h er i n t h e r i ver , f l oati n ?d ow n l i ke a l i ttl e f i sh , w ash i n ?u p on a sh or e al l n i bbl ed to bi ts by bu gs an d r od en ts an d god - k n ow s- w h at - el se.

I w on ?t go t o con f essi on n o m or e.

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U n ti tl ed L i n d say M cCam m on I w as bet t er t h an h er . I k n ew i t, sh e k n ew i t, ever y bod y k n ew i t. I n al l asp ects too, si n gi n g, d an ce, d el i ver y of m y l i n es, stage p r esen ce, p r etty m u ch ever y th i n g. So, w h en sh e got t h e l ead an d I got th e u n d er stu d y, n ot on ly w as I i n sh ock , bu t I w as p i ssed .

Ever y bod y k n ew th at I d eser ved th e l ead . A f t er I h ear d th e n ew s th at I d i d n ot get th e l ead i n t h e p l ay I h ave been d r eam i n g of acti n g i n f or th e p ast th r ee y ear s, I i m m ed i at ely st ar ted goi n g th r ou gh th e f i ve stages of gr i ef . T h e f i r st on e, d en i al . M ay be t h er e w as a t y p o, a bi g, bi g ty p o on th e cast l i st, or m ay be th ey ju st got con f u sed bet w een m e an d h er , I m ean w e both ar e gi r l s w i th br ow n h ai r an d w e both h ave an E i n ou r n am e. I m ean som eth i n g h as to be w r on g, th i s ju st can ?t be tr u e, th er e's n o w ay sh e w ou l d get t h i s r ol e over m e. T h e secon d on e, an ger . You k n ow w h at, scr ew th i s gi r l .

Sh e?s u gly an d can ?t si n g, sh e h as n o r h y th m w h atsoever . A n d y ou k n ow w h at, i f th e cast i n g d i r ect or th i n k s th at sh e m ad e a good d eci si on , m ay be sh e sh ou l d ju st ch an ge h er f i el d of w or k becau se sh e cl ear ly k n ow s n oth i n g abou t w h at i t m ean s to be a good act r ess. T h e t h i r d on e, bar gai n i n g. I d eci d ed to go h ave a l i ttl e tal k w i th th e casti n g d i r ect or . I ex p l ai n ed th e m i stake th at sh e m ad e an d tol d h er abou t m y ex ten si ve r esu m e. I al so d eci d ed to si n g th e son g th at I d i d f or th e au d i ti on agai n becau se m ay be t h e cast i n g d i r ector d i d n 't h ear m e w el l w h en I or i gi n al ly au d i ti on ed . T h en , sh e tol d m e t h er e w as n ot h i n g sh e cou l d d o f or m e. I tol d h er I u n d er stood an d l ef t, bu t I d i d n ot u n d er st an d . T h e n ex t d ay I w as back , th i s ti m e w i th a T u p p er w ar e f u l l of br ow n i es. I t ol d h er abou t m y u n cl e, m y p oor , p oor u n cl e, so si ck an d d ep r essed . I tol d h er th at h e on ly h as a f ew m on th s l ef t an d h i s d y i n g w i sh , h i s on ly d y i n g w i sh , w as to see m e i n th i s p l ay. I d on ?t h ave an u n cl e, both m y p ar en ts ar e actu al ly on ly ch i l d r en , bu t sh e bel i eved m e, of cou r se, I m ean I am an am azi n g actr ess an d tol d m e th at I cou l d be th e u n d er st u d y. T h e f ou r th , d ep r essi on . I d i d n 't go to m y vocal l esson s or tap d an ce cl ass af t er I h ear d t h e n ew s th at I w asn 't cast, w h at's th e p oi n t i f I cou l d n 't even get m y d r eam r ol e. A n d , i t 's em bar r assi n g, bu t I cr i ed a l ot, l i ke th e am ou n t w h er e m y p ar en t s got w or r i ed . A n d t h e f i f th stage of gr i ef , r even ge. A f t er th e casti n g d i r ector m ad e an excep t i on f or m e to be th e u n d er stu d y, I star ted p l otti n g. I d eci d ed to m ake a l i t tl e l u n ch d ate w i t h th i s gi r l , y ou k n ow, to get to k n ow h er better . O n ou r l u n ch d at e sh e r eveal ed t o m e th at sh e w as al l er gi c to n u ts, i n ter esti n g, I th ou gh t. W el l , bef or e op en i n g n i gh t , I d eci d ed to be a good f r i en d an d baked h er som e br ow n i es. T h e on ly i ssu e i s t h at , I sw ear , t h e stor e w as al l ou t of w h eat f l ou r an d on ly h ad al m on d f l ou r . T h e gi r l ate t h em , an d en d ed u p i n th e h osp i tal , p oor th i n g. W el l , becau se sh e w as i n th e h osp i tal , I got t o p l ay t h e r ol e I w as alw ay s d esti n ed f or , an d tr u st m e, I d i d am azi n g.

A r tw or k by Ad el e Gol d ad er

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Ph oto: Bl ake Ri esen f el d W al k i n g Fo r w ar d B u t L o o k i n g B ack w ar d s M el an i a D i ah A s I si t on t h e ben ch at O ak v i ew Par k , m y m i n d l i n ger s. I u sed to com e h er e w i t h m y m om w h o w ou l d br i n g br ead cr u sts f r om m y l u n ch to th r ow at th e d u ck s. T h ose th i n gs scar ed m e. W h en I w en t w i th m y m om back th en I w as ju st tal l er th an th ose m en aci n g bi r d s. Sh e?d say th er e's n oth i n g to w or r y abou t an d th at th ey w er e m or e af r ai d of m e t h an I w as of t h em . I d i d n 't th i n k th at w as tr u e bu t to th i s d ay I h ave n ever been att acked by on e so m ay be sh e w as r i gh t. M ay be i f I h ad m u ster ed u p som e cou r age to f eed th e d u ck s sh e w ou l d h ave seen h er str on g ch i l d h ad som e of h er qu al i ti es. Sh e w as br ave f or m e w h en I n eed ed h er m ost an d I w asn 't. N ow I ?m th i r ty w i th n o f am i ly, n o f r i en d s, an d n ow h er e t o t u r n . M om w as m y r ock u n ti l ?i t? h ap p en ed . A f ter th at, I cou l d n 't l et an y on e i n t o k n ow m e. B ecau se sh e w as th e on ly on e th at car ed bef or e i t al l w en t to cr ap . I si t by m y sel f on t h i s ben ch to r em i n d m e of th e ti m es I h ad w i th h er . T h e ben ch bar s ar e r u st y an d br eak of f w i th a si m p l e tou ch an d th e w ood h as sp l i t i n th e sp l i ts th at w ou l d gi ve k i d s sp l i n t er s. T h at's w h y n o on e com es to th i s p ar k an y m or e. A n d w h y w ou l d t h ey ? W h y w ou l d th ey w an t an ol d p ar k w h en th ey can go to th e n ew on e ar ou n d th e cor n er . Bu t f or m e, i t's a r em i n d er of w h at I u sed to h ave an d a cu r se alw ay s h av i n g m em or i es of u s r ep eati n g i n m y h ead . Bu t w h atever m akes m e r em em ber h er , I ?ll take. I f eel l i ke w h en I l eave th i s p ar k beh i n d an d I am ol d an d gr ey, I ?ll su p p r ess th e m em or i es w e on ce h ad . I d on 't w an t th at. I can 't l eave h er ever becau se sh e w ou l d n 't d o th at to m e.

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Ph otos by Gabr i el Ri ccar d i

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K at i a Cam p os H om e W i t h t h e l i gh t s ou t an d m y ey es op en I f i n d m y sel f f eel i n g f or som eth i n g I h ave to m ake i t u p th ose stai r s

For w h at I h ave n o i d ea I t?s a t i n gly sen sati on , l eav i n g m y m ou th n u m b f or h ou r s T h e n i gh t i s y ou n g an d I ?ve f ou n d m y sel f t r avel i n g agai n

I t?s n o easy task w i th qu akey l egs I k n ock on y ou r bed r oom d oor , al th ou gh w h at am I ex p ecti n g Bu t w al k i n g i n f eel s so str an ge

I p ass t h e sou n d s of car s an d ci ty l i gh ts

I h ol d m y br eath an d ju m p th r ou gh

T h e f r at p ar t i es bl asti n g m u si c an d v i br at i on s

T h er e n ever w er e an y d oor s m y m i n d cou l d n ?t op en

I t l eaves m e t u m bl i n g ar ou n d th e ci ty as th e A n d th er e y ou ar e, asl eep son gs p l ay on r ep eat I f i n d m y sel f on th e w r on g si d e of th e ci ty, You ?r e al r i gh t, y ou ?r e saf e sever al t i m es getti n g m e l ost I w al k to th e f oot of y ou r bed , th e p ai n i n m y h eel s al l gon e A n d n ot h i n g el se w i l l m ake m e f eel better T h e scr atch es on m y k n ees ar e n o l on ger th er e T h en goi n g t h e r i gh t w ay, an d h ead i n g h om e I col l ap se i n y ou r ar m s, I can sm el l y ou Past w est v i r gi n i a an d th e h ar sh p i eces of st on e You sti l l sm el l l i ke p i n e tr ees, even th ou gh y ou ?ve n ever seen a r eal on e bef or e T h r ou gh t h e r ock y l u sh m ou n tai n s of sp r i n g i n n or t h car ol i n a I f eel m y sel f d r i f ti n g aw ay, sl eep f i n al ly tak i n g m e I t?s beau t i f u l , seei n g ar i es cr oss th e sk y I am saf e w h en I ?m w i th y ou T h e st ar s l ead i n g m e to w h er e I ou gh t to be Passi n g t h e f ast p aced car s on a voy age n ot Bu t th en m y p h on e r i n gs, an d I w ake u p al on e m y ow n I gi ve t h em n o m i n d , i t?s n ot w h er e I n eed Bu t to a tex t th at say s ?good m or n i n g?al l l ow er case t o be M y f ace qu i ver s i n to a sm i l e Even t u al ly t h e su n star ts to w ai ve i n , m y I gu ess y ou ?r e n ot u p set w i th m e af ter al l , I f eet ar e bu r n i n g an d I can f eel th e bl an kets m i ssed y ou Bu t I ?m al m ost th er e I p ass t h e com m u n i ty gates M y bod y n eed s w ater , bu t I h ave to d ou bl e ch eck T h e d oor i s w i d e op en to y ou r h ou se an d I ?m an x i ou s I t?s st i l l d ar k , an d y ou r d og i s aw ake Ph o t o by B l ak e Ri esen f el d 2

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T h e Gr een h o u se L i n d say M cVai l T h ey say t h e gr een h ou se w h i sp er ed at n i gh t, gr ass sh i f t i n g l i ke ti n y voi ces, t h e f og cl oak i n g th e cr acked gl ass l i ke a vei l .

T h e gr een h ou se h ad been l ai d to r est i n a n est of t h or n s an d m oss, d eep i n a f or est th at h ad r ecl ai m ed t h e gr ou n d .

T h e w al l s of t h e gr een h ou se bu r st i n g w i t h v i n es, cr eep i n g t h r ou gh th e cr ack s an d sm ot h er i n g t h e sw i r l i n g col u m n s.

L eaves an d f l ow er s p r essed agai n st t h e cr acked an d m i st y w i n d ow s, t h e i v y cr aw l i n g f r om i n si d e t h e d oor h u n g askew on i t s h i n ges.

T h e t h or n s en ci r cl ed th e gr een h ou se, h i d i n g u n d er t h e gr ass an d sw al l ow i n g th e cei l i n g.

T h e t r ees h ad gr ow n to sh el ter th e gr een h ou se, an d i n t h e p assi n g y ear s t h ei r h u ggi n g br an ch es h ad f i n al ly br aced agai n st th e w or l d ou t si d e t h e cl ear i n g.

T h e gr een h ou se w as f or gotten t h en , ju st a sp r aw l i n g m ess of m etal an d gl ass, st ol en back by w h at i t on ce con tai n ed .

Ph o t o by K o n r ad Sm i t h 2

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B an d i t L ei gh N ew m an O n e m or n i n g I w as getti n g r ead y to go to sch ool an d I w an ted to w ear m y p i n k h ood i e t h at h as al l t h ese cu te r ed h ear ts on i t. W h en I sear ch ed f or i t i n m y cl oset I cou l d n ?t f i n d i t so I h ad t o set tl e f or som eth i n g m or e su bp ar . T h e n ex t d ay m y oth er p l an n ed ou tf i t h ad gon e m i ssi n g. I w al ked ou t of m y r oom agai n i n w h at I h ad n ot w i sh ed to w ear an d saw m y y ou n ger si ster stan d i n g i n th e h al lw ay. O u t of h er bag, I saw a p i n k sl eeve an d r i p p ed i t ou t . ?W h at i s t h i s?? I sh ou ted . ?I bor r ow ed y ou r h ood i e, I ?m sor r y, y ou can h ave i t back ,? sh e r ep l i ed . ?You m ean y ou stol e.? ?You n ever n ot i ce w h en I bor r ow y ou r stu f f I w as ju st p u tti n g i t back n ow.? ?I w ou l d d ef i n i tely n oti ce.? ?You w ou l d n ?t . You d i d n ?t. M ost p eop l e l ose stu f f an d i t p op s back u p an d th ey d on ?t qu est i on i t .? ?W el l I n ot i ced .? ?O n ly cau se I d i d i t tw o d ay s i n a r ow.?

I h ad t o p r ove h er w r on g. So I set ou t on a m i ssi on to test h er th eor y an d d i d th e sam e t o h er , t ak i n g h er stu f f ever y oth er d ay. Sh e d i d n ?t n oti ce. T h en I m oved on to ot h er p eop l e. Sh e w as r i gh t. Peop l e ar e n ot d eter m i n ed to sear ch f or th ei r bel on gi n gs becau se of t h ei r assu m p ti on th at th ey m i sp l aced th em d u e to th ei r ow n i n com p eten ce. N ow i n t h e d ep t h s of t h e n i gh t, I l u r k . I am u n d er y ou r bed . I am i n y ou r cl oset. I am i n y ou r at t i c. I am i n y ou r l au n d r y baskets. I am i n y ou r w ash i n g m ach i n e. I am i n y ou r d r y er .

B or r ow i n g y ou r cl oth es.

Car Par t- - Ph oto by Gabr i el Ri ccar d i

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T r an sf o r m at i o n T h r o u gh O r d eal Sam Ya W h en ever I see a p l an e f ly i n g th r ou gh th e sk y, l eav i n g f ai n t, w h i te tr ai l s beh i n d , I w on d er i f t h e p l an e com es f r om Ch i n a. I w on d er i f th er e ar e Ch i n ese stu d en t s i n th e p l an e w h o ar e abou t to em bar k on th ei r acad em i c car eer s i n th e U .S. A s a Ch i n ese st u d en t w h o i m m i gr ated to th e U n i ted States, I of ten h ave su ch m u si n gs. I i m m i gr ated t o t h e U .S. an d en r ol l ed i n Fr i en d s' Cen tr al Sch ool w h en I w as i n si x th gr ad e. A s an i n t er n at i on al st u d en t w h o sp en t th e f i r st tw elve y ear s of m y l i f e i n Ch i n ese sch ool s an d si x y ear s at Fr i en d s' Cen tr al , I am an ex am p l e of h ow ed u cati on can sh ap e p er son al i t y.

I n som e asp ect s, m y ed u cati on i n Ch i n a el i m i n ated m y sel f - con f i d en ce. Ever y sch ool d ay i n Ch i n a f el t ex actly th e sam e, as i f sh ap ed by th e sam e m ol d . Ever y d ay, af t er I w oke u p , I f i n i sh ed m y m or n i n g r ou ti n e, got on th e squ eak i n g sch ool bu s, an d w en t to sch ool . At seven - f i f teen , I en ter ed th e cl assr oom f or stu d y h al l , si tti n g al on gsi d e m y f or t y - f ou r cl assm ates. T h e f or ty - f i ve of u s h ad been i n th e sam e cl ass si n ce th e f i r st d ay of el em en t ar y sch ool an d becam e l i ke br oth er s an d si ster s af ter si x y ear s of i n t er act i on s.

For m e, t h i s si t u ati on d evel op ed a sen se of secu r i t y, u n i ty, an d bel on gi n g th at I m i ss an d w an t t o r e- ex p er i en ce, even af ter si x y ear s. O u r l ear n i n g en v i r on m en t w as n ot th e best.

T h e t each er s w er e d i scr i m i n ator y, an d at ti m es, even v i ol en t. A l th ou gh w e su p p or t ed each ot h er d u r i n g h ar d ti m es, th e teach er s?m eth od s cau sed m e an d oth er stu d en t s to d evel op p er son al i ti es l ack i n g con f i d en ce. I r ecei ved n o p r ai se w h en I w or ked h ar d to i m p r ove m y acad em i c p er f or m an ce. M or eover , th e teach er s d i d n ot h esi tate to sh am e m e i n f r on t of th e w h ol e cl ass w h en I m ad e m i stakes. I t seem ed as i f I cou l d n ever sat i sf y t h e t each er s, n o m atter h ow h ar d I w or ked . I star ted to d ou bt m y sel f .

I n t h e m i d d l e of m y si x th - gr ad e y ear , a d eci si on w as m ad e w h i ch ch an ged m y l i f e.

H ow ever , I w as n ot th e on e m ak i n g i t. M y p ar en ts d eci d ed to m ove to th e U .S. i n or d er t o p u r su e f r eed om of sp eech an d escap e th e gover n m en t?s p er secu ti on . W e p u r ch ased a h ou se i n H aver tow n an d atten d ed op en h ou ses h osted by d i f f er en t sch ool s. Sh or t ly af t er m y i n t er v i ew, I w as ad m i tted to Fr i en d s' Cen tr al Sch ool . Fr i en d s' Cen t r al w as r ou gh f or m e i n th e begi n n i n g. N ot on ly d i d I h ave to get acqu ai n ted w i th f or ei gn t each er s an d cl assm ates, bu t I al so h ad to con stan t ly f or m u l ate En gl i sh sen ten ces by t r an sl at i n g Ch i n ese. I t w as n ot th e str u ggl e th at scar ed m e, i t w as th e f act th at n o on e el se seem ed t o be str u ggl i n g as m u ch as I . A f t er m y En gl i sh r each ed a cer tai n l evel , I r eal i zed t h at w i th h ar d w or k , h i gh gr ad es w er e ach i evabl e. I becam e a stu d en t w i th sel f - con f i d en ce. H ow ever , I f el t as i f som eth i n g w as m i ssi n g. A s th e on ly Ch i n ese st u d en t i n t h e sch ool , I tr i ed to f i t i n to th e FCS com m u n i ty, bu t r eal i ty f or ced m e to gi ve u p . W h en y ou f or ce y ou r sel f to ach i eve an u n ach i evabl e goal , th at goal becom es m ean i n gl ess. D esp i te th e l ack of con n ecti on s, I ap p r eci ated an d en joy ed m y ch oi ces an d abi l i t y t o p ar t i ci p ate i n ex tr acu r r i cu l ar acti v i ti es. A s a p er son w h o p r ef er s var i ety, p r ogr am s su ch as th e sw i m team p ai n ted m y l i f e w i th col or . W h at i m p act d i d Fr i en d s' Cen t r al Sch ool h ave on m y p er son al i ty ? T h e sch ool tr an sf or m ed m e i n to a stu d en t w i th con f i d en ce by r esp ecti n g m y ef f or t. A l th ou gh m y d esi r e f or a sen se of bel on gi n g i s st i l l u n f u l f i l l ed , I v al u e m y i d en ti ty as a Ch i n ese i m m i gr an t w h o m ai n tai n s a p r of ou n d back gr ou n d w i th Ch i n ese cu l tu r e.

T h e ex p er i en ce th at i n ter tw i n ed m y Ch i n ese i d en ti ty an d m y i d en ti ty as an i n t er n at i on al st u d en t w as m y ti m e at ?Roy ?, an SAT tr ai n i n g sch ool i n Ch i n a. I n O ctober of 20 20 , I t ook th e PSAT an d r ecei ved a scor e of 1370 , a scor e n o col l ege w an ts to see.

O n e of m y p ar en ts?f r i en d s r ecom m en d ed ?Roy ?, w h i ch w as w el l - k n ow n f or i ts r i gor ou s t r ai n i n g an d r em ar k abl e r esu l ts, an d p r ocl ai m ed i tsel f to be th e acm e of SAT tr ai n i n g i n st i t u t i on s i n Ch i n a. O f cou r se, I w as i n ti m i d ated by i ts r ep u tati on bu t d eci d ed to tr y 2

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n ever t h el ess. O n th e f l i gh t to H an gzh ou , I f el t u n ease. ?H as m y ti m e i n A m er i ca m ad e m e u n abl e t o en d u r e th e i n ten si ty of Ch i n a?s ex am - or i en ted ed u cati on ? W i l l I be su sp en d ed ?? T h r ou gh ou t th e ei gh teen - d ay p r ogr am , m y u n ease i n ten si f i ed . T h e t each er s cou l d ex p el stu d en ts f or su bjecti ve r eason s su ch as atti tu d e an d object i ve cau ses su ch as p oor scor es. A s d ay s p assed , seats al l ar ou n d m e star ted to em p ty, of ten w i t h n o w ar n i n g or ex p l an ati on . A l th ou gh I con ti n u ed to w or r y, I al so began to f eel en cou r aged . I w as on e of th e f i f ty p er cen t of th e or i gi n al cl ass to su r v i ve. I sl ep t l ess t h an f ou r h ou r s each n i gh t i n or d er to com p l ete m y h om ew or k , su f f er i n g f r om i m m en se d r ow si n ess d u r i n g cl asses. I w on d er ed w h en th e Sw or d of D am ocl es w ou l d f al l . I t n ever d i d . I gr ad u ated f r om th e h el l i sh i n sti tu ti on w i th u n p r eced en ted con f i d en ce, r esi l i en ce, an d p r i d e. N ot on ly d i d th e or d eal h el p ed m e r ecogn i ze m y tr u e cap aci t y, i t al so h el p ed m e to avoi d u n d er esti m ati n g m y sel f i n th e f u tu r e.

A s a Ch i n ese st u d en t i n th e U .S., I f ou n d i t d i f f i cu l t to obtai n sel f - con f i d en ce. D u r i n g m y f i r st y ear s at Fr i en d s Cen tr al , I f el t th at th e sch ool w as too f or ei gn f or m e, an d th e ex p er i en ce w as f ar ou t of m y com f or t zon e. D esp i te th i s, I w as su p p or ted by th e en cou r agem en t an d p r ai se f r om stu d en t s an d teach er s, w h o h el p ed m e r ecogn i ze th e t r u e v al u e of m y ef f or t. I val u e th e con f i d en ce I gai n ed f r om th e SAT tr ai n i n g i n st i t u t i on . I am p r ou d th at I w as n ot on e of th e p eop l e w h o w er e cr u sh ed by t h e p r essu r e an d f l ed th e tr ai n i n g cam p . I am p r ou d th at I w as abl e to gr ad u ate w h i l e m an y ot h er d et er m i n ed stu d en ts f r om com p eti ti ve Ch i n ese sch ool s f ai l ed to com p l et e th ei r t r ai n i n g. O n t h e oth er h an d , con f i d en ce w i th ou t com p eten ce i s u sel ess. I n th e f u tu r e, I w i l l st r i ve t o becom e som eon e w h o m akes i m p r ovem en t s con stan tly th r ou gh d i l i gen ce an d con f i d en ce.

I d eci d ed to i n cor p or ate col or con tr ast by i m p osi n g th e U k r ai n i an f l ag on to a m ap of th e w or l d . T h i s i s to sy m bol i ze th e ef f ect th at th e w ar i n U k r ai n e h as h ad on th e en ti r e w or l d , an d h ow i t h as both d r aw n p eop l e togeth er an d sp l i t t h em ap ar t. I ou tl i n ed th e cou n tr y of U k r ai n e i n r ed an d ad d ed som e d r i p p i n g bl ood to sh ow th e su f f er i n g of th e m an y p eop l e l i v i n g th er e u n d er th e w ar con d i ti on s.

- M i co Car p i n i el l o 2

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Ch i ar a D el Testa T h ese ar e tw o an i m e ch ar acter s t h at I p ai n ted w i th acr y l i c p ai n t on p i eces of gl ass. T h e i m ages ar e p ai n ted on th e back si d e of t h e gl ass i n r ever se l ay er s of p ai n t so w h en f l i p p ed over y ou can see th e com p l eted p ai n ti n gs t h r ou gh th e gl ass. T h e on e w i th p i n k h ai r i s 0 2 f r om th e an i m e D ar l i n g i n th e Fr an x x , an d th e on e w i th bl ack h ai r i s L f r om th e an i m e D eath N ote.

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D eaf Ear s Kon r ad Sm i th T h e l on e an d l evel san d s str etch f ar aw ay. T h e ai r i s em p ty, l ack i n g th e su bstan ce to ch oke an y on e br ave en ou gh to br eath e i t. T h e su n cook s th e san d , bu t th e w ar m th can n ot be f el t t h r ou gh th e d r y ai r . A s I l ook u p I am m om en t ar i ly bl i n d ed by a br i gh t l i gh t on t h e h or i zon . I t w as n ot th e su n bu t i t h u r t to l ook at. Squ i n ti n g r eveal ed th at th e br i gh t l i gh t on th e h or i zon w as a l ar ge ci ty m ad e en ti r ely of gol d . T h e em p ty san d s ar e br oken as I t ake m y f i r st step s tow ar d th e ci ty on th e h or i zon .

A f t er 10 m i n u t es of w al k i n g, I com e acr oss a str u ctu r e, a bu s stop p ai n ted bl u e. T h e base of t h e bu s st op i s cover ed i n san d . T h e w i n d i s i n ch i n g th e san d h i gh er u p th e si d es, as t h ou gh i t w i sh es to con su m e i t, or p u sh i t f or w ar d . T h e bl u e col ou r of th e bu s st op i s cal m i n g, t h e l i gh t r ef l ected of f of i t i s n ot bl i n d i n g, bu t r eassu r i n g. I t tel l s m e to si t an d w ai t f or t h e bu s, y et th e com p l acen t san d i s u n br oken by bu s tr ack s, as th ou gh a bu s h as n ever been h er e. I n si d e i s a skel eton si tti n g n ex t to a m an r ead i n g a n ew sp ap er , th e tw o h ar d t o d i st i n gu i sh at f i r st. T h e n ew sp ap er ap p ear s as em p ty as th e san d s I stan d on , w i t h n o p r i n t v i si bl e. H e i s r ead i n g i n ten tly, seem i n gly r ead i n g som eth i n g i m p or t an t , or at l east w an t i n g to. ?W h y ar e y ou w ai ti n g h er e?? I ask th e m an . ?I ?m w ai t i n g f or th e bu s, w h at el se? H ow el se sh ou l d I get to w or k ?? ?D o y ou w or k i n th e ci ty ?? I ask w h i l e p oi n ti n g to th e bl i n d i n g l i gh t on th e h or i zon . ?W h at ci t y ? I ?m w ai ti n g f or th e bu s.? ?N o bu s i s com i n g h er e, th er e ar en ?t an y r oad s,? I r em i n d th e m an . ?I f t h er e?s n o bu s, w h y w ou l d th ey be w ai ti n g?? H e say s, gestu r i n g to th e skel eton besi d e him .

H e scof f s an d r etu r n s to r ead i n g h i s em p ty n ew sp ap er . T h e l ef t h an d of th e skel et on cr u m bl es, a cou p l e of p i eces f al l i n g an d becom i n g on e w i th th e san d s i ts f eet ar e su bm er ged i n , sw ep t tow ar d s th e ci ty of gol d . T h ey ar e on e an d th e sam e.

St an d i n g ar ou n d w i l l get m e n o cl oser to th e ci ty, so I keep w al k i n g. I l eave th e st r i k i n g bl u e bu s st op . I l eave th e m an to h i s n ew sp ap er an d th e skel eton to th e san d s. M y f oot step s ar e t h e cl osest th i n g to bu s tr ack s i n th i s d eser t u n ti l I see an oth er tr ai l . Besi d e m y f oot st ep s i s a l on g an d w i d e l i n e i n th e san d , str etch i n g f or w ar d s tow ar d s th e l i gh t on t h e h or i zon . I t i s ten i n ch es w i d e an d i n d i f f er en t to th e obscu r i n g san d s, h ol d i n g st r on g. I t i s am bi ti ou s an d d eter m i n ed , bu t h eav y en ou gh to com p act th e san d i n to w h at f eel s l i ke r ock . I t i s n ot sw ep t aw ay. I f ol l ow i t. A f ter a sh or t w al k th at f eel s as t h ou gh i t sh ou l d h ave been a m u ch l on ger an d m or e tr each er ou s tr ai p se, I see i n f r on t of m e a m an w al k i n g th r ou gh th e d eser t, d r aggi n g an an v i l beh i n d h i m . H e i s p u l l i n g a st u r d y an d h ol d f ast r op e attach ed to th e f r on t of th e an v i l , m ov i n g abou t an i n ch p er secon d . H e i s l ook i n g d ow n as th ou gh h e i s af r ai d of th e bl u e of th e sk y, gr u n t i n g as h e p u l l s t h e w ei gh t beh i n d h i m . H e i s sw eati n g p r of u sely bu t seem s con ten t i n i gn or i n g h i s f at i gu e. ?W h y ar e y ou d r aggi n g an an v i l beh i n d y ou ? I t w ou l d be easi er to l eave i t,? I ask th e m an . ?I ?m a bl ack sm i th , w h at w ou l d I d o w i th ou t an an v i l ?? ?Bu t y ou d on ?t h ave a h am m er to u se i t," I r em i n d th e m an . ?T h e h am m er w as too h eav y, I d r op p ed i t i n th e san d n o l ess th an a m i l e back .? ?I d i d n ?t see a h am m er w h i l e f ol l ow i n g th e tr ai l of y ou r an v i l .? ?T h e san d s m u st h ave sw al l ow ed i t, th ey d o th at. T h ey h u n ger f or w h at y ou l eave 2

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beh i n d .?

T h e an v i l h as been stai n ed by th e san d s, th e bl ack cast i r on tak i n g on a sh ad e of bei ge. A sm al l w i n d p u sh es a r each i n g d u n e u p th e si d e of th e an v i l bef or e bei n g p ar ted on op p osi t e si d es of i ts u n y i el d i n g tr ai l , i ts w ei gh t th e on ly d eter r en t agai n st i ts f or w ar d cl i m b.

I gr ow t i r ed of w al k i n g so sl ow ly to keep i n step w i th th e m an an d begi n to w al k ah ead , l eav i n g t h e t r ai l I h ad been f ol l ow i n g, i n stead f ol l ow i n g th e f ootstep s I l eave. I h ave n ow f ou n d m y sel f cl ose en ou gh to th e ci ty to see i t m or e cl ear ly. Tow er s r each th e cl ou d s, p i er ci n g t h e br i gh t bl u e w i th gol d . I n stead of gl ass, th e w i n d ow s ar e f i l l ed w i th v ar i ou s gem s, each som eh ow m or e p er f ect th an th e l ast. T h e bases of th ese tow er s ar e obscu r ed by a l ar ge gol d en w al l en com p assi n g th e ci ty. I w al k ar ou n d th e ci r cu m f er en ce of th e w al l l ook i n g f or an en tr an ce, a gate, a d oor . Even th e m ost m i n u scu l e of i m p er f ecti on s w ou l d h ave sat i sf i ed m y cu r i osi ty as I h ad gr ow n h u n gr y f or th em . I becom e d i str act ed by a sm al l p l u m e of sm oke ou tsi d e of th e w al l . I w al k tow ar d s i t. A sm el l w af ts tow ar d s m e of d el i ci ou s f ood , I can n ot p l ace w h at I sm el l oth er th an a f eel i n g of su sten an ce. I t f eel s as t h ou gh ever y cu l tu r e i s si m m er i n g ju st ou tsi d e of th ese i m m en se w al l s, th e sm oke an d sm el l s th e on ly th i n g r each i n g above th em . I w al k cou n ter cl ock w i se ar ou n d t h e w al l an d com e acr oss a m an si tti n g n ex t to a f i r e w i th a p ot above i t. H e i s m u t ter i n g u n i n t el l i gi bly t o h i m sel f . W h en I get cl ose en ou gh to see i n si d e th e p ot I d i scover th at t h e m an i s cook i n g san d . H e seem s to h ave f ou n d a l og, l i kely th e base of a tr ee cu t d ow n f or t h e con str u cti on of th e w al l , con si d er i n g i ts p r ox i m i ty, an d cr eated a m akesh i f t cook i n g stati on . A f i r e bu r n s ben eath a p ot I can on ly assu m e i s th e m an ?s on ly p ossessi on . T h e san d som eh ow sti l l sm el l s d el i ci ou s. I can see i t bu r n i n g l i ke th e su n - ch ar r ed w astes ben eath ou r ver y f eet, bu t i n a w ay th at m akes i t f eel al i ve. Som e gr ai n s of t h e san d ar e v i si bly l ar ger th an oth er s, bu t th i s on ly ser ves to sati ate m y h u n ger f or i m p er f ecti on s th at th e i m p ossi bly l ar ge w al l h as l ef t m e. ?W h y ar e y ou cook i n g san d ?? I ask th e m an . ?O n e cook s becau se O n e i s h u n gr y.? ?I s san d t r u ly t h e best sol u ti on ?? ?B est i s a m at t er of op i n i on . N o. B est i s a m att er of p er sp ecti ve.? ?D oes i t t ast e as good as i t sm el l s?? ?D oes i t m at t er ? I w an t T h em to sm el l w h at th ey can n ot h ave.? ?I s t h er e n ot h i n g better to eat?? ?O n e h as san d to eat. O n e f i n d s th i s gr atu i tou s. T h ose ou tsi d e of th e w al l s d on ?t n eed m u ch . T h at ?s w h y O n e bel i eves th e w al l s sh ou l d be m ad e tal l er , too easy f or T h em to joi n O n e i n si d e th e w al l s.? ?You ?r e ou t si d e th e w al l .? I r em i n d th e m an . ?N o, T h ey l i ve ou tsi d e th e w al l .?

I d eci d e t o keep m ov i n g, l eav i n g th e m an to h i s m eal . A f t er som e w al k i n g I begi n to f eel st r on g gu st s of w i n d , bl ow i n g th e san d s i n to m y f ace. M y sk i n gr ated by th e d u st m y jou r n ey h as k i cked u p . I cover m y ey es to see. A f t er som e m or e w al k i n g th r ou gh u n r el en t i n g w i n d s, I see th at th e w i n d s h ave cr eated a p i l e of san d u p th e w al l . A p i l e of san d t h i s l ar ge w ou l d col l ap se w i th th e w ei gh t of a si n gl e coi n , y et I w al k u p i t, scal i n g t h e w al l of gol d . M y f eet str u ggl e to f i n d som eth i n g sol i d to stan d on , y et ar e l ef t u n sat i sf i ed . M y h an d s ai d m y jou r n ey, gi v i n g m e som e ex tr a bal an ce. W al k i n g l i ke a d og, I f i n al ly cr est th e p eak . I m ake on e f i n al step of f of th e san d on to gol d , m om en t ar i ly su r p r i sed by th e n ew f ou n d stabi l i ty u n d er m y f eet. T h e w al l i s 5 f eet th i ck u n t i l a sh ar p an d ver ti go- i n d u ci n g d r op to th e str eet s bel ow. I take th e p l u n ge. I f eel th e w i n d agai n st m y f ace as I f al l . I th i n k I h ave r each ed ter m i n al vel oci ty at th i s p oi n t . A n y t r ace of san d h as been w ash ed aw ay, scr ap ed . I seem to h ave f or gotten w h i ch w ay I am 2

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f al l i n g. M y br ai n say s I am f al l i n g d ow n , bu t th e w i n d s p u sh m e h i gh er . Regar d l ess of d i r ect i on , I f eel m y back col l i d e w i th th e secon d stabl e su r f ace I h ave en cou n ter ed on m y jou r n ey. I br i n g m y sel f to m y f eet an d l ook ar ou n d to f i n d m y sel f at th e bott om of t h e w al l . I w al k acr oss th e si d ew al k besi d e th e str eet s, tak i n g i n m y su r r ou n d i n gs. I st r ai n m y n eck t o f i n d th e p eak of th e tow er s su r r ou n d i n g m e, bl ock i n g th e su n bu t r ep l aci n g i t w i t h t h ei r gol d en sh i n e. ?W h y ar e y ou h er e?? I h ear f r om beh i n d m e.

I t u r n t o f ace t h e qu esti on , or th e p er son ask i n g, I d o n ot k n ow. T h e p er son m ay be beh i n d m e bu t th e qu esti on i s al l - en com p assi n g. ?I ?m n ot su r e I am ,? I r ep ly, f eel i n g th e stabi l i ty ben eath m y f eet f ad e, si n k i n g i n to th e san d . ?H ow d i d y ou get h er e?? ?I w al ked u p a stai r case of san d ? I r ep ly, th e san d n ow r each i n g m y h i p s as I si n k f u r t h er . ?W h at i s san d ??

I t r y t o an sw er , bu t f i n d th at th e san d h as r each ed m y m ou th . I can n o l on ger m ove. A l l I can d o i s st ar e, bu t at w h at? T h e qu esti on i s th r ou gh ou t. M y v i si on begi n s to go bei ge as m y ey es f al l ben eath th e san d , stead i ly becom i n g d ar ker as th ou gh I am si n k i n g ben eat h t h e su r f ace of t h e sea. I can f eel th e f ootstep s of th e p er son con ti n u i n g on th ei r d ay, f ol l ow ed by m an y m or e. I can f eel th e f ootstep s of th e ci ty, squ eezi n g an d p u sh i n g th e san d i n t o m e f r om ever y d i r ecti on . I can f eel th ei r f ootstep s as th ey go on th ei r jou r n ey s, bu t can n ot see th ei r f aces or h ear th ei r con ver sati on s. I f eel th ei r f oot step s bu t n o l on ger f eel th e san d , n ot k n ow i n g w h er e I en d an d th e san d begi n s.

I f eel t h e f i r e of th e m an cook i n g h i s m eal . I f eel th e cr u sh i n g w ei gh t of th e bl ack sm i t h st ar t i n g an ew, an d I f eel th e h an d of th e p ati en t skel eton f al l to th e san d s, gr asp i n g i n f i r m gr eet i n g.

Por tr ai t by Ad el e Gol d ad er Pom egr an ate M an by Foti n i M ou r el atos

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Pr et t y L i t t l e L i ar A n on y m ou s I ?m sor r y I l i ed . I n ever l i ke to ad m i t w h en I ?m w r on g or take r esp on si bi l i ty f or w h at I ?ve d on e. T h er e?s n o avoi d i n g i t. A n d th er e?s n o tu r n i n g back . M y h ear tbeat i s al m ost l ou d er t h an t h e sobs t h at escap e m y l i p s as th e w or d s ech o of f th e w al l s ar ou n d m e. I l i ed an d I l i ed agai n . T h e br i gh t su n sh i n es th r ou gh th e w i n d ow an d catch es m y tear f i l l ed ey es. I d on ?t l ook d ow n becau se th at w ou l d m ean l ook i n g at m y m oth er . I ?m sor r y I l i ed an d I ?ll n ever d o i t agai n .I h ad betr ay ed m y p ar en ts' tr u st an d I h ad tu r n ed m y si ster i n to a l i ar t oo. I w i sh I cou l d er ase th at m em or y f r om m y h ead . T h e d an ce th at n i gh t w as f i l l ed w i t h m or e d r ead th an exci tem en t. T h e ti ck i n g cl ock w as l i ke a ti ck i n g ti m e bom b r em i n d i n g m e I w ou l d h ave to f ace th em agai n soon . T h e h ap p y f aces ar ou n d m e an d t h e n i gh t sk y above. I ?m sor r y I l i ed an d I ?ll tr y n ot to d o i t agai n . I w as i n tr ou bl e.

Becau se i t h ap p en ed . T h ey h ad cau gh t on . T h e i n ev i tabl e took m e by su r p r i se. W h at I k n ew an d ex p ected to h ap p en - - h ap p en ed an d y et I w as cau gh t of f gu ar d . I ?m sor r y I l i ed an d I ?m sor r y th at I ?ll d o i t agai n

I t C o u l d b e W o r se A n on y m ou s O f cou r se I d i d i t agai n . A gai n , bu t better . I w asn ?t stu p i d an d I d i d n ?t get cau gh t. L i ke a cr i m i n al w h o got aw ay w i th h i s cr i m e. I w as h om e f r ee w i th a bag of stol en cash as I sl i p p ed by t h e cop s. I h ad gotten aw ay w i th m u r d er . T h e gu i l t w as gon e. I n o l on ger car ed t h at I h ad betr ay ed th em . B ecau se i t cou l d be w or se. I h ad n ?t k i l l ed an y on e. I bou gh t a p ack of gu m . I d i d n ?t even steal i t. Fi ve y ear s ago I th ou gh t th e w or l d w ou l d en d becau se of i t. B ecau se m y p ar en ts tol d m e n o an d I d i d i t an y w ay. M i n ty f r esh l i es sat on m y t on gu e as I cl osed th e d oor of th e stor e. M y br eath sm el l ed of d ecei t bu t I d i d n ?t car e. Becau se i t cou l d be w or se. I t cou l d alw ay s be w or se. I t?s been m on t h s n ow.

I ?m p op p i n g t h e bu bbl es of betr ay al i n f r on t of th em bu t i t d oesn ?t m att er . Becau se I bou gh t a cou p l e tw o- d ol l ar p ack s of gu m . I cr u m bl e u p th e si lver w r ap p er i n to a ti n y sh i n y bal l . ?I t cou l d be w or se? I say. A n d th e gu i l t f ad es aw ay al on g w i th th e tast e of cof f ee.

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Ram b l i n gs o f an I n so m n i ac D ar i a Sh ep el av y W h en y ou ?r e aw ake an d al on e f or h ou r s, y ou h ave th e op p or tu n i ty to th i n k . T h i n k abou t ever y t h i n g an d an y th i n g. T h i n k i n g abou t th e h om ew or k th at I n ever tu r n ed i n l ast w eek . O r abou t h ow m y n ei gh bor ?s n ew d og bar k s to th e sam e r h y th m as Ji n gl e Bel l s. O r h ow m y br oth er h ad h i s f i r st k i ss w i th h i s gi r l f r i en d of th r ee m on th s y ester d ay, an d m y f i r st k i ss w as i n a gam e of sp i n th e bottl e w i th a gu y w h o sm el l ed l i ke tobacco an d or an ges.

H ave y ou ever seen th e m ov i e 10 T hings I H ate About You? I f r eak i n g l ove th at m ov i e. I t ?s 1 h ou r an d 37 m i n u tes, m ean i n g I cou l d w atch i t ap p r ox i m ately 12.9 ti m es i n t h e ti m e t h at I ?m aw ake. T h er e?s al so p l en ty of op p or tu n i ty f or absol u t ely u n n ecessar y cal cu l at i on s. You ?ve p r obably p i cked u p on th i s by n ow bu t I d o n ot h ave good ti m e m an agem en t sk i l l s. I m ean , I h ave so m u ch ti m e on m y h an d s. I th i n k I saac N ew ton i n ven t ed cal cu l u s i n l ess ti m e th an I sp en d star i n g at th e cei l i n g. A l th ou gh th at m i gh t n ot be entirely accu r ate, I d o sp en d m ost of h i stor y cl ass asl eep .

I t al so gi ves m e th e ch an ce to r em i n i sce on th i n gs f r om m y p ast. L i ke i n f r esh m an y ear I h ad a huge cr u sh on th i s gu y. H i s n am e w as Calv i n an d h e w as an Ad on i s am on g m en .

(H e w as act u al ly a scr aw n y bl on d k i d w i th an atti tu d e p r obl em ? bu t n ot th e p oi n t.) I u sed t o i m agi n e th at th e tw o of u s w er e m ean t to be. I h ad th i s r ecu r r i n g d r eam th at w e w er e gon n a get stu ck i n th e sch ool over n i gh t f or som e r eason . T h e tw o of u s w ou l d be t h er e f or h ou r s an d tr y i n g to get ou t w h i l e si m u l tan eou sly getti n g to k n ow each ot h er an d f al l i n g d eep ly i n l ove. Bu t bef or e an y th i n g cou l d h ap p en w e w er e f r eed , bu t th at d i d n ?t ch an ge h ow w e f el t abou t each oth er an d on e d ay w e cou l d n ?t h ol d i t i n an y m or e an d ? - y ou get t h e p i ctu r e. A s y ou can p r obably assu m e, n on e of th i s h ap p en ed . A su m m er aw ay f r om h i m an d I w as over h i m p r etty f ast, m ean w h i l e h e got a gi r l f r i en d an d p r om p t ly ch eated on h er .

Som et i m es I f i n d m y sel f d r i f ti n g of f w h i l e m ak i n g u p n on sen si cal stor i es, l i ke p r et en d i n g t h at I ?m actu al ly a r obot th at d oesn ?t n eed to sl eep , an d th at I ?ll ou t l i ve al l y ou p at h et i c m or tal s. I ?m a su p er i or sp eci es th at d oesn ?t n eed to ?p ow er of f ? i n or d er to r u n p r op er ly, I ?m ju st th at cool . I i m agi n e th at on e d ay m e an d ever y on e w h o str u ggl es t o f al l asl eep w i l l ban d togeth er to save th e w or l d l i ke th e I n som n i ac Aven ger s. T h er e w as al so t h e t i m e th at I i m agi n ed sl eep w as a d i sease (si m i l ar to th e on e th at af f ects h u m an s i n zom bi e m ov i es) an d th e ?i n f ected ? al l tu r n ed ev i l an d I w as th e on ly on e w h o cou l d save t h em . I t w as m y ti m e an d m y w or l d , so I cou l d ch oose h ow I w an ted to f eel abou t ever y t h i n g (even i f I d o h ave a sl i gh t su p er i or i t y com p l ex), bu t i n r eal i ty I k n ow t h at on e d ay I ?ll p r obably ju st col l ap se on th e gr ou n d an d f al l i n to som e sor t of Sl eep i n g Beau t y - t y p e 10 0 y ear n ap an d ever y on e ar ou n d m e w i l l gr ow ol d w h i l e I ?m d r ool i n g al l over a d u st y p i l l ow.

M y f avor i t e i s t h e su p er sp y stor y. I h ave th i s r ecu r r i n g d r eam w h er e I h ave to save th e w h ol e w or l d f r om a v i l l ai n w i th an ev i l car toon m u stach e. H e p l an ted a d ead ly w or l d en d i n g bom b. A n d f or som e r eason i t w as i n m y h om etow n ? becau se th at's ex actly w h er e som eon e w ou l d p u t som eth i n g l i ke th at. A n y w ay s, i t w as m y job to d ef u se th e bom b becau se, agai n th at?s ex actly w h o th e FBI w ou l d h ave d o th at? a 17- y ear - ol d i n som n i ac. I w as getti n g so cl ose to th e bom b an d i t w as l i ke a m ov i e, th e cou n t d ow n w as goi n g f ast , w e w er e 10 secon d s aw ay. 9? 8? 7 an d th er e w as th i s i n cessan t beep i n g. I t w ou l d n ?t st op ? I w as getti n g a h ead ach e an d ? oh ! Sh i t, m y bad , th at?s ju st m y al ar m .

W h oop s! Got t a go!

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H ow t o d ay d r eam l i k e y o u m ean i t , by an ex - cl o set ee A n on y m ou s Few ar e m or e qu al i f i ed th an som eon e w h o sp en t y ear s of th ei r l i f e i n th e cl oset to teach ot h er s t h e p ow er of d ay d r eam i n g; to m aster th e ar t of n egl ecti n g th e con f u sed w or l d of a m i d d l e sch ool bi sex u al an d i n stead em bod y i n g th e gl am or i zed l i f e of a r i ch p op u l ar t w en t y - som et h i n g i n th e m i d d l e of th e r om an ce of h er l i f eti m e. Bel ow ar e th e st ep s y ou ?ll n eed t o m aster th i s ti m e- d em an d i n g tool y ou r sel f .

1. K n ow w h at y ou 'r e escap i n g f r om , bu t d on 't both er th i n k i n g too d eep ly abou t i t .

Ser i ou sly, d on 't w or r y ! U n p ack i n g th e tr au m a y ou ar e cu r r en tly ex p er i en ci n g can be d on e i n a sl i gh tly too w ar m 120 d ol l ar s p er h ou r th er ap i st's of f i ce 10 y ear s f r om n ow w h en y ou ?ju st can 't p u t i t of f an y l on ger .? Bu t f or n ow, y ou ?ve st i l l got p l en t y of ti m e! A l l y ou n eed to h ave at th i s l ovely m om en t i s a p r obl em y ou ar e t r y i n g t o avoi d by d oi n g an y th i n g an d ever y th i n g to i gn or e i t!

2. H ave som eon e, or som eon e(s) i n m i n d . W h eth er y ou 'r e f al l i n g i n l ove i n tr op i cal Ber m u d a, or p ar t of an of f i ce scan d al i n th e Bi g A p p l e, i t's i m p or tan t to p u t a f ace t o t h e i m agi n ar y p er son y ou ?r e goi n g to be th r ow i n g on to a p ed estal an d p l an n i n g on h av i n g to solve al l y ou r i m agi n ar y p r obl em s f or th e r est of y ou r d ay d r eam ! I p er son al ly r ecom m en d th e d el u xe 2 f or 1 op ti on , w h er e th er e ar e tw o i m agi n ar y p er f ect p eop l e f i gh ti n g over y ou ! T h at?s r i gh t, i n th i s f ake w or l d y ou ?ve cr eat ed f or y ou r sel f , th e r ati o of r i sk i s l ow an d r ew ar d i s th r ou gh th e r oof , W ow ! T h at's th e d r eam gu y s! Ser i ou sly th i s d ay d r eam i n g stu f f r eal ly con f i r m s w h at y ou ?ve k n ow n al l al on g; y ou are th e cen ter of th e u n i ver se.

3. Keep t h e d r am a com i n g. I n or d er to stay con stan t ly i n si d e y ou r h ead , y ou r d ay d r eam s ar e gon n a h ave to be m or e en ter t ai n i n g th an th i s season of T h e Bach el or . I 'm tal k i n g 3 d i f f er en t p l ot- l i n es at on e ti m e, y ou w on th e l otter y an d h ave t o go i n to th e w i tn ess p r otecti on p r ogr am at th e sam e ti m e, m ean w h i l e y ou 'r e bei n g r ecr u i ted f or th e FBI by y ou r ex w i th a si x- p ack , ju st r em em ber th e m ost i m p or tan t p ar t, as l on g as th i n gs ar e alw ay s goi n g w el l f or you, y ou ?r e d ay d r eam i n g cor r ectly.

4. Ref er en ce book s an d m ov i es ar e key, th i s i s w h at w atch i n g al l th ose 90 s an d 0 0 s r om com s tr ai n ed y ou to d o! M ake D r ew Bar r y m or e an d Ju l i a Rober ts p r ou d w i th an even m or e i n san e p l ot- l i n e th an th e on es th ey ?ve been i n ! I f i t i sn 't a h at e to l ove t r op e I d on 't w an t i t- - r em em ber too, si d ek i ck s w h o agr ee w i th ever y th i n g y ou say ar e i n tegr al - - th ey sh ou l d be qu i r k y bu t n ot h ave en ou gh of a p er son al i ty t o m ake an y th i n g abou t th em selves, obv i ou sly.

5. L ast ly, h ave f u n ! D ead - ass, th i s i s su p p osed to be y ou r m om en t to star i n th e d r am a of th e d ecad e, th e on ly d i f f er en ce i s y ou h ave com p l ete con tr ol over ? w el l , ever y t h i n g! So k n ock y ou r sel f ou t ch am p .

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Pr o p o sed N ew Ev en t f o r St r o n g M en B y Fo t i n i M o u r el at o s

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A r t w or k by V i n ai gr ette

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Fer r i s W h eel Car r i e Teti I t w as t h e en d of a beau ti f u l d ay at th e beach , an d th e su n h ad ju st set over th e boar d w al k . Peop l e w al ked an d bi ked al on g th e boar d s, bu y i n g t- sh i r ts an d h er m i t cr abs.

Seagu l l s gat h er ed to steal th e f r en ch f r i es an d f u n n el cake th at h ad been l ef t beh i n d . A l l t h e l i t t l e k i d s, i n cl u d i n g m e, r u sh ed to get on th e r i d es. I w as th r ee y ear s ol d at th e ti m e.

M y d ad an d I got on th e Fer r i s w h eel , an d w e r ose to th e top . I w as a l i ttl e scar ed , bu t I cal m ed d ow n w h en I l ooked ou t f r om m y p assen ger car an d saw th e beau ti f u l col or s of t h e sk y. T h e r i d e w as goi n g sm ooth ly, bu t su d d en ly, i t stop p ed , r i gh t w h en w e got to th e ver y h i gh est p oi n t. I l ooked d ow n to see cr ow d s of p eop l e d i r ectly bel ow m e, al l of th em p oi n t i n g u p . Even th e seagu l l s l au gh ed at m e as th ey f l ew by. I cr i ed . To cal m m e d ow n , m y d ad san g a son g. ?I m agi n e m e an d y ou , I d o. I th i n k abou t i t ever y n i gh t. I t?s on ly r i gh t, t o t h i n k abou t th e on e y ou l ove, an d h ol d h er ti gh t. So h ap p y togeth er !? W e sat t h er e, 90 f eet i n th e ai r , f or over an h ou r , u n ti l th e f i r em en ar r i ved . T h ey ex ten d ed th ei r l ad d er s as f ar as th ey cou l d , th en cl i m bed u p th e Fer r i s w h eel to r escu e u s. I cr i ed i n r el i ef w h en I f i n al ly m ad e i t to th e gr ou n d .

W h en m y d ad tol d m e th at stor y, I tr u ly bel i eved i t. I r em em ber ed bei n g stu ck i n th at Fer r i s w h eel over l ook i n g th e O cean Ci ty boar d w al k an d n eed i n g to be r escu ed by th e f i r em en . For y ear s, w h en ever I l ooked at th at Fer r i s w h eel , I ex p er i en ced i t agai n i n m y m i n d . Bu t i t n ever r eal ly h ap p en ed .

A r tw or k by Au r or a Soosaar 2

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Ph o t o gr ap h s Sad i e For m an M y p h on e case i s ti l ed w i th p h otos of m y f am i ly, f r i en d s, an d p l aces I ?ve tr avel ed . T h e t i m e I w en t t o Per u on vacati on w i th m y f am i ly, v i si ti n g an d h i k i n g M ach u Pi cch u , I br eat h l essly w i l l ed m y sel f to th e top of th e m ou n tai n an d u sed th e n ew d i gi tal cam er a I h ad got t en f or m y bi r th d ay to sn ap a p h otogr ap h of th e I n can r u i n s bel ow. O r th e ti m e I k n el t n ex t t o K ar m a, m y f i f teen y ear ol d bl ack d og. M y si ster sn ap p ed a p h oto at th e p er f ect m om en t, w h en K ar m a?s ton gu e w as sti ck i n g ou t ju st sl i gh tly i n a w ay th at m ad e i t l ook as i f sh e w as p osi n g f or th e p i ctu r e. T h e ti l es ar e col or f u l , f u l f i l l i n g a gr een an d bl u e col or sch em e acr oss th e back of m y p h on e. A p i ctu r e of m e at th e beach n ex t to on e of m y f am i ly su r r ou n d ed by tr ees. A p i ct u r e of m e sn or kel i n g i n cr y stal bl u e w ater n ex t t o on e on th e su m m i t of a gr assy m ou n tai n . I ?ve h ad th i s case f or a f ew y ear s n ow an d over t i m e, i t h as been scr atch ed u p an d th e cor n er s h ave begu n to ch i p . Bu t st i l l , I l ove m y p h on e case becau se of i ts or i gi n al i ty, i ts p er son al i ty an d i ts i n d i v i d u al i t y. I l ove i t becau se i t con si sts of m em or i es th at I can l ook back on an d r em i n i sce abou t.

Ph ot ogr ap h y h as been u sed f or cen tu r i es to cap tu r e p r eci se m om en t s i n ti m e. W h i l e cam er as u sed t o be ver y d i f f i cu l t to obtai n an d w er e on ly u sed by f ew, n ow th ey si t i n ou r p ocket s, easi ly accessi bl e w i th an ap p on ou r p h on es. T h e f i r st cam er a w as cal l ed t h e Cam er a O bscu r a an d i t w as i n ven ted i n 50 0 BC to stu d y op ti cs, l ater d em on str ati n g h ow l i gh t can be u sed to p r oject an i m age on to a f l at su r f ace. T h e f i r st p h y si cal p h ot ogr ap h w asn ?t taken u n ti l 1827 by Josep h N i cép h or e N i ép ce bu t tech n ol ogy of cam er as an d p h otogr ap h s m oved r ap i d ly th er eaf ter . A l th ou gh th e f i r st cam er as w er e r evol u t i on ar y f or th ei r ti m e, th ey w er e f l aw ed an d ver y com p l ex . T h e p r ocess of cr eat i n g a p h ot ogr ap h took ei gh t h ou r s w h i l e th e i m ages qu i ck ly f ad ed aw ay. T h ey w er e al so ver y ex p en si ve an d on ly avai l abl e to ver y f ew. Ph otogr ap h y h as com e a l on g w ay si n ce t h en , an d n ow i t i s u sed i n m an y w ay s, both r ecr eati on al ly an d p r of essi on al ly t o d ocu m en t i m p or tan t even ts an d con vey m essages.

Som e p eop l e say, ?A p i ctu r e i s w or th a th ou san d w or d s.? T h i s cer tai n ly h ol d s tr u e abou t a p h ot ogr ap h , cap tu r i n g a sn ap sh ot of em oti on . Ever y i m age h ol d s val u e, w h et h er i t 's cap t u r i n g an i m p or tan t m om en t i n h i stor y or a m om en tou s d ay i n som ebod y ?s p er son al l i f e. Ph otogr ap h s sh ar e a n ar r ati ve, each on e w i th som et h i n g d i f f er en t to tel l .

Som et h i n g d i f f er en t to sh ar e w i th i ts au d i en ce, m ay be ju st on e p er son l ook i n g back at an even t or p ot en ti al ly a gr ou p of p eop l e tr y i n g to p u l l a m essage ou t of a p h ot o. I l ook back at p h ot ogr ap h s taken d u r i n g var i ou s ti m es i n h i stor y an d am abl e to see an d f eel t h e em ot i on s cap tu r ed by th em an d obser ve th e d i f f er en ce betw een l i f e i n th e p ast com p ar ed t o m od er n ti m es. I t i s al so i n ter esti n g to l ook back at p h otogr ap h s taken d u r i n g si gn i f i can t m om en ts i n m y l i f e l i ke m y Bat M i tzvah - bei n g abl e to see p h ot os of m e i n t h e Rod ep h Sh al om Sy n agogu e r eci ti n g m y h af tor ah , tr y i n g to sw al l ow m y n er ves as m y f am i ly an d cl osest f r i en d s w atch .

T h e gr eat t h i n g abou t a p h oto n ow i s i ts sen se of p er m an en ce: y ou can alw ay s l ook back an d r em em ber th e even ts th at took p l ace su r r ou n d i n g a sp eci f i c p h otogr ap h .

U n l i ke a m em or y, w h ose tem p or ar y ef f ects escap e y ou , r u n n i n g aw ay as y ou 'r e l ef t gr asp i n g on t o som eth i n g y ou d on ?t r em em ber an y m or e, a p h oto i s f or ever . For ever r em i n d i n g y ou of y ou r cu p cake- th em ed bi r th d ay p ar ty w h en y ou tu r n ed seven or th e t i m e y ou act ed ou t th e p l ay of H i gh Sch ool M u si cal w i th y ou r f am i ly f r i en d s, p l ay i n g t h e r ol e of Gabr i el l a. N o m atter h ow m u ch ti m e p asses, y ou can alw ay s l ook at an i m age an d be t r an sp or ted back to th e ex act m om en t i t w as taken . T h ese even ts can be sh ar ed som ed ay w i th k i d s an d gr an d k i d s, p assi n g d ow n f on d m em or i es to y ou n ger gen er at i on s.

W h en ever m y gr an d m oth er v i si ts, sh e alw ay s br i n gs an en vel op e f i l l ed w i th ol d p h ot ogr ap h s w i th h er , stai n ed w i th ti m e. L i ke a ti m e cap su l e, th e m om en ts r em ai n f r ozen i n t i m e. M y m om r ecal l s a stor y to go al on g w i th each i m age. T h e ti m e sh e d r essed u p as a d og f or h al l ow e?en an d w en t tr i ck or tr eati n g ar ou n d h er n ei gh bor h ood 2

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i n H er sh ey, Pen n sy lvan i a w h en sh e w as ei gh t. O r th e ti m es m y gr an d m oth er w ou l d d r ess m y m om an d h er tw o si ster s u p i n m atch i n g ou tf i ts f or a p h otosh oot i n th ei r back y ar d , t h ei r f or ced sm i l es i n d i cati n g th ei r i m p ati en ce. Each p h oto sh ar es a n ar r at i ve, sn ap sh ot s of m y m oth er ?s ch i l d h ood th at r ev i ve f or gotten m em or i es.

A l t h ou gh p h ot ogr ap h y can br i n g back ol d m em or i es an d i s al so ver y p r acti cal , th er e ar e m an y d ow n si d es associ ated w i th p h otogr ap h s as w el l . Gr ow i n g u p i n th e er a of soci al m ed i a, i t som eti m es f eel s as th ou gh w e n eed to d ocu m en t ever y m om en t of ou r l i ves or w e w i l l m i ss som eth i n g. I n r eal i ty w e ar e m i ssi n g th i n gs w h en w e ar e stu ck on ou r p h on es t ak i n g p i ctu r es, v i d eos, ed i ti n g an d p osti n g to var i ou s soci al m ed i a accou n t s.

T h er e i s a skew ed p er cep ti on th at p h otos ar e su p er i or becau se th ey ar e tan gi bl e an d can be l ooked back on . I n actu al i ty, w e val u e m em or i es m or e th an p h y si cal p h otogr ap h s an d by t ak i n g p h otos of ever y th i n g, w e h ave l ost th e val u e i n cap tu r i n g a m om en t t h r ou gh m em or i es. Ad d i ti on al ly, th e p er m an en ce of a p h otogr ap h th at h as been seen as a good an d p ow er f u l tool f or so m an y y ear s, h as becom e an u n f or tu n at e si d e ef f ect.

O n ce y ou p ost som eth i n g on soci al m ed i a, i t w i l l l ast f or ever , even i f i t i s d el eted , i t w i l l alw ay s ex i st som ew h er e becau se of th e p er m an en t d i gi tal w or l d .

A say i n g I t h i n k abou t som eti m es i s, ?I f y ou d on ?t h ave a p h oto, d i d i t even h ap p en ?? I h ave d w el l ed on th i s a l ot becau se w e l i ve i n a ti m e w h er e cam er as ar e i n ou r p h on es an d w e alw ay s h ave access to th em , ever y on e f eel s th e n eed to cap tu r e each m om en t i n st ead of l i v i n g in th e m om en t. W e d on ?t sp en d en ou gh ti m e i n th e p r esen t , i n st ead w e cap t u r e t h e p r esen t to l ook at l ater . Tak i n g p i ct u r es an d v i d eos of ou r f r i en d s an d f am i ly, sav i n g t h em as m em or i es w h en w e ar en ?t actu al ly th er e to r em em ber th em i n t h e f i r st p l ace. T h er e i s a f i n e l i n e betw een h av i n g a p h otogr ap h to r em em ber a good t i m e an d h av i n g a p h otogr ap h th at r ep l aces a good ti m e.

A r t w or k by Em m et Su n

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Sw o o sh , T h u d , T h w ack D ev Gu p ta I am n ot en t i r ely su r e w h at i s so sati sf y i n g abou t tossi n g som eth i n g u p an d d ow n over an d over agai n . M ay be i t's th e thwack of th e object h i tti n g y ou r h an d or th e cool n ess of i t agai n st y ou r p al m bu t I h ave n ever r eal ly k n ow n . W h en I w as y ou n ger , I u sed to si t ar ou n d an d t oss a bal l over an d over agai n . Som eti m es stan d i n g, som eti m es si tt i n g, som et i m es ly i n g on th e f l oor th r ow i n g i t str ai gh t u p an d al l ow i n g i t to f al l tow ar d s m y f ace bef or e cat ch i n g i t. Som e d ay s I w ou l d stan d i n f r on t of a l i ttl e secti on of w al l i n m y h ou se an d t h r ow th e sof t f oam agai n st th e w al l an d catch i t. Soon th i s becam e a h abi t, swoosh, thud, thwack; th r ow, w al l , catch ; swoosh, thud, thwack. O ver an d over agai n , d ay af t er d ay, y ear af ter y ear . Even n ow, I som et i m es ju st n eed th e cal m th at com es f r om t h r ow i n g an d catch i n g. Som eti m es I n eed th at ti m e to l et m y m i n d d r i f t. Som et i m es m y t h ou gh t s l ead m e to m y sch ool w or k . ?I h ave som e bi ol ogy th at n eed s d oi n g?. Swoosh. ?Sh ou l d n ?t be t oo h ar d ?. T hud. ?T h at h i stor y qu i z tom or r ow m i gh t be som eth i n g t h ou gh ?. T hwack. O ccasi on al ly th e con ver sati on w ou l d d r i f t el sew h er e. ?W h at w as th at k i l l er d ad joke I h ear d tod ay ?? Swoosh. ?O h , th at?s r i gh t, w h en som eon e say s h ey ?. T hud. ?H ay i s f or h or ses n ot f or p eop l e an d ar e y ou a h or se? To th at I say n ei gh .? T hwack. A f t er a w h i l e, on e en ter s a n ear m ed i tati ve state w i th th e m etr on om i c stead i n ess p r ov i d ed by t h e bal l h ead i n g to th e w al l an d i ts p r ed i ctabl e r etu r n . A f t er w r i ti n g th i s jou r n al I p l an on goi n g t o m y w al l an d th r ow i n g th e bal l f or a bi t. I t alw ay s takes a f ew m i n u t es to get t h at h y p n ot i c r h y th m goi n g. T h er e i s an occasi on al ou t- of - ti m e on e th at r u i n s th e w h ol e ef f ect bu t on ce y ou p ass th at star ter stage i t?s sm ooth r u n n i n g. Swoosh.

T h an k sgi v i n g soon . T hud. A br eak f r om w or k . T hwack. Sl eep i n g i n . Swoosh. T w o m or e t est s. T hud. Ju st a f ew m or e d ay s. T hwack. I l i ke sch ool , bu t I k n ow I w i l l take f u l l ad van t age of t h i s br eak . I toss th e bal l i n to th e bu cket w h er e i t r ests w i th a r esou n d i n g floof.

Por t r ai t by Ad el e Gol d ad er

Jetstr eam Sam by Em m et Su n

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O n T r ad er Jo e's M i n i C h o co l at e M i n t St ar s Z oë A l ter O n t h e t op i c of th ese l i ttl e star s, on e m u st f i r st con si d er th e si ze of th em . I h ol d on e n ow i n m y h an d . I t r ests d el i cately i n m y p al m , sof t an d i n of f en si ve. I ts f i ve- p r on ged si d es ar e l i ke a baby 's f i n ger s, th e si ze an d sh ap e sl i gh tly accu r ate. N o m at ter th e sen t i m en t al m ood I am i n , I w i l l alw ay s p r ef er m i n ty ch ocol at e to a f etu s: both ar e or gan i c, bu t on ly on e i s ed i bl e. I can n ot si m p ly p ack age babi es' h an d s i n a l i gh t gr een box . T h e ad ver ti sem en t w ou l d be too v u l gar , an d of cou r se, eth i cal ly i t w ou l d be tr agi c.

M ay be t h at i s w h at I l i ke abou t th ese l i ttl e f r esh star s. T h ey ar e n ei th er tr agi c n or d o t h ey r equ i r e an y th i n g f r om m e. T h i s i s al so d i f f er en t f r om a baby. A baby r equ i r es ever y t h i n g, i t y ear n s sel f i sh ly f or w ar m th , com f or t, l ove. I on ly h ave w ar m th , com f or t, an d l ove f or t h ese l i ttl e star s. I l ove th e w ay th ey f eel w h en I bi te i n to th em w h en I ch ew an d sw al l ow w h en th ei r f l avor s er u p t i n m y m ou th l i ke a gr een vol can i c er u p ti on . T h ey com f or t m e, t h ese star s, th ei r f i ve l i t tl e l i m bs d escen d i n g d ow n m y esop h agu s. I sw al l ow, an d t h ey ti ck l e m y stom ach , bef or e h u ggi n g i t. T h ey m ake su r e m y or gan s ar e h ap p y, w i t h t h ei r atten ti ve l i ttl e h an d s, car essi n g an d sm ooth i n g m y i n si d es. W ar m th ex p l od es i n si d e of m e at th e m er e th ou gh t of th ese l i ttl e f r i en d s of m i n e. T h ey can n ot com m u n i cat e w i th m e, bu t th ey can m ake m e f eel l oved . T h ey ar e n ot Ch r i stm as, bu t t h ey ar e t h e h ol i d ay s. W h i l e th ey d o n ot of f er m e gi f ts, an d th ey d o n ot k i ss m e w h i l e I am w ear i n g r ed f l an n el p ajam as, th ey i n stead car ess m y l i p s w i th som eth i n g u n d en i abl e: sw eet , d ecad en t f l avor . L i ke a baby, I w i l l r eseal th ei r box , m ake su r e th ey ar e tu cked i n t o bed so t h at th e D ev i l can n ot steal m y l i ttl e i n f an t m i n t star s f r om m e.

Coach by Foti n i M ou r el atou s 2

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V i gn et t e # 1 M ar cu s Ch i an g I t?s su r p r i si n gly easy to p l ay a p ar t r i gh t w h i l e sou n d i n g com p l etely aw f u l . W i t h an y i n st r u m en t , t ou ch i s i m p er ati ve to getti n g th e r i gh t ton e f or a son g. Pl ay a key too l ou d ly on a p i an o, an d y ou ?ll jol t som eon e ou t of th e w or l d of th e m u si c an d back i n to a st u f f y r eci t al r oom . Bow th at cel l o str i n g a l i ttl e too f or cef u l ly, an d su d d en ly Bach ?s p r el u d e sou n d s l i ke jer k y n otes w i th n o r eal r h y m e or r eason to th ei r p l acem en ts. Su r e, i t m ay n ot be u n p l easan t, bu t an y on e w h o?s l i sten ed to en ou gh m u si c w i l l be abl e to tel l th at som et h i n g, on e cr u ci al th i n g, i s m i ssi n g.

W i t h t h e d r u m s, i t?s ver y h ar d to p l ay a ?w r on g? n ote. You ?ll n ever m i ss an d h i t th e sn ar e w h i l e sw i n gi n g on th e r i d e. T h e cr ash cy m bal s m ay h an g over th e tom s, bu t i t?s n ot l i ke y ou ?r e i n d an ger of cl am p i n g th at h i - h at acci d en tal ly becau se y ou n eed a str on g sn ar e t on e. N o, t h e t r ou bl e d oesn ?t com e f r om p l ay i n g th e w r on g or r i gh t th i n g; i t?s how y ou p l ay i t . A si m p l e gr oove can sou n d u n com f or tabl e an d w eak becau se th at sti ck i s ju st a l i t t l e t oo h i gh , th at p ed al i s ju st a l i ttl e too l oose. I t?s n ot easi ly d i agn osabl e, ei th er . I t ?s on ly af t er I ?ve l i sten ed to m y sel f p l ay th e sam e f ou r bar s of H otel Cal i f or n i a th at I r eal i ze t h at h i - h at str i ke bef or e th e th i r d beat i s ju st sl i gh tly en u n ci at ed . I ?ll l i st en to K n i gh t s of Cy d on i a over an d over to d eter m i n e w h at m akes th e son g gal l op . W h y d oes Ru sh st i l l f eel l i ke h al f - ti m e w h en th e son g h as l on g si n ce tr an si ti on ed i n to d ou bl e?

A n d even af t er I f i gu r e ou t th at th ose bass d r u m d ou bl es m ove th e son g, an d th at th e r i d e cy m bal p ai r s w i th th e bon gos to keep th e sam e f eel of th e i n tr o, I ?m stu ck w i th th e ch al l en ge of act u al ly r ep l i cati n g i t m y sel f . T h at h i - h at str i ke i s goi n g to f eel aw k w ar d th e f i r st d ozen t i m es I tr y i t. T h e sy n cop ati on betw een th ose bass d ou bl es an d th e op en h i - h at gr oove h ave m e tr i p p i n g over th e beat bef or e th e m ai n gu i tar r i f f even begi n s. I l et ou t a sm al l l au gh , al on e i n th e basem en t, as I l i sten to ju st h ow f ast I n eed to sw i n g w h i l e som eh ow m ai n tai n i n g a gr oove th at sh ou l d be h al f th e sp eed . A n d on ce th at?s f i n i sh ed , on ce I can r u n i t th r ou gh w i th th at ex tr a h i - h at str i ke, con si sten t bass p ed al s, an d con si st en t tem p o, I am back at squ ar e on e. I h ave i m p r oved , bu t i t?s n ot h ar d to i m p r ove over n oth i n g; n ow, to f ocu s on th at on e f i l l at th e en d of th e ch or u s. T h e 3:2 p oly r h y t h m d u r i n g th e ou tr o, sp l i t betw een m y r i gh t f oot an d h an d . T h e d r u m sol o th at sh ou t s an d r esp on d s w i th a tr om bon e.

Bu t to m e, t h i s i s th e beau ty an d th e ch al l en ge of d r u m m i n g. I t?s so bar e bon es an d si m p l e t h at t h e on ly w ay to get better i s d ou bl i n g d ow n on th ose m i n u scu l e ch an ges.

T h e vel oci t y of th e sti ck . T h e ex tr a m i l l i secon d or so I sp en d on th e tom s. I t can be excr u ci at i n g, su r e, bu t i t?s al l w or th i t f or th at on e m om en t w h er e y ou know y ou ?ve d on e i t r i gh t . You ?r e l ocked i n to th e beat. You ?ve gotten so com f or tabl e w i th th e gr oove th at y ou r bod y begi n s to ad ju st to i t i n r eal ti m e. You r sti ck l ow er s i tsel f , y ou beat d ow n on t h at p ed al . Ever y th i n g i s ju st right.

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Eu cal y p t u s an d M en t h o l Foti n i M ou r el atos T h ey f ou n d h i m d ead i n th e m ead ow, th r ee bu l l et h ol es th r ou gh th e n eck an d col l ar bon e i n a p er f ect tr i an gl e (th e cor on er m easu r ed ). I n h i s l ef t h an d , sti l l gr i p p ed t i gh t ly, w as a d u l l ed k i tch en k n i f e th at w asn ?t h i s. H i s sw eater sm el l ed of m u sk an d eu caly p t u s.

H e w as k n ow n , bu t h e w as n ot k n ow n . T h e tow n sp eop l e h ad al l m et h i m at l east on ce t h r ou gh ou t t h e y ear s, w h eth er th r ou gh a bor r ow ed book , p er f ectly tu n ed to th ei r i n t er est s, or a l en t h am m er or a p i e gi ven on h ol i d ay s, m y ster i ou sly absen t of t h e r ecei ver ?s al l er gen s, r egar d l ess of w h eth er or n ot h e w as ex p l i ci tly tol d w h at i n gr ed i en t s t o avoi d . H e p ai d n o p ar ti cu l ar atten ti on to h i s r ep u tat i on . O p i n i on s d i f f er ed som ew h at , bu t h e w as n ot h ated .

H e w as l oved . H e l i ved on th e ed ge of tow n n ex t to th e f or est i n a h ou se too l ar ge, su r r ou n d ed by su gar m ap l es an d p each tr ees. H e w or ked at a h ar d w ar e stor e som ew h at cl oser t o t h e cen ter of tow n , k n ow n by som e to be obn ox i ou s an d to oth er s en d ear i n g.

At t h e en d of t h e d ay, th ose w h o h ad i ssu es w i th h i m si m p ly tu r n ed th ei r back s on h i m .

W hat good would it be, th ey m u sed , to change him? A n d so h e w as l ef t al on e.

T h e w ay h e car r i ed h i m sel f w as w i th an ef f or tl ess p r eci si on . I t w as sai d h e n ever ex p osed h i s n eck . H e cou l d ?ve th ou gh t h i m sel f a god an d h i s su r r ou n d i n gs h i s k i n gd om , i f h e w i sh ed , an d on sou r d ay s i t l ooked al m ost as i f h e d i d . Som e d ou bted h i s p er f ect i on , sm el l ed a sh ar p n ess ben eath h i s r osy ex ter i or . Per h ap s th ey w er e r i gh t . Few w er e cl ose en ou gh to h i m to f i n d ou t.

H e w as al on e, l i v i n g i n a sp r aw l i n g, an ci en t, gr ey - ston e h om e th at stood ou t f r om th e m od est br i ck- an d - m or tar r ow h om es f ou n d d ow n t ow n . H i s h om e, vagu ely r em i n i scen t of a Fr en ch cou n tr y h ou se, w as bl an keted i n f l ow er i n g i v y an d w i ster i a. H i s gar d en , i f i t cou l d be cal l ed th at, w as r u n th r ou gh w i th on i on f l ow er s i n br i l l i an t w h i te an d p u r p l e an d sh i n i n g y el l ow w eed s. T h ose w h o h ad gon e i n si d e th e h ou se n oted f i r st i ts al m ost - n eat n ess: d i sh es w er e l ef t on th e cou n ter , bu t th ey w er e stacked an d p u sh ed asi d e; h e h ad n o book sh elves y et th er e w as or d er to h i s p i l es of book s; th e cu sh i on s an d bl an ket s st r ew n over h i s sof a w er e tu ssl ed i n a w ay th at seem ed i n v i ti n g. T h ey w ou l d t h en n ot i ce al m ost al l w as gr een ; th e f u r n i tu r e, th e w al l s, th e f l ow er s. A l l al on g th e f i r - col or ed w al l s w er e str i n gs of l i ttl e l i gh ts, an d p otted p l an ts th r i ved i n th e gl ow i n g p ool s ben eat h th em . T h e car p ets l ooked T u r k i sh i n sty l e, bu t sh i m m er ed w i th con t r ast i n g sh ad es of gr een ; p al e v i r i d i an , d eep p h th al o, sh i n i n g jad e, ol i ve, an d em er al d . T h e gr eat su gar m ap l es i n th e back y ar d w er e al so d ecked w i th l i gh ts, an d on w ar m su m m er n i gh ts th ey sh on e l i ke a m i n i atu r e gal ax y. T h e sm el l of si m m er i n g p each p r eser ves w r eath ed th e h ou se. I n th e f al l , h e w ou l d br i n g i n bou qu ets of r ed l eaves an d p r eser ve t h em i n su ch a m an n er th at th ey w ou l d stay sof t th r ou gh ou t th e season , w oven i n t o m i n t cu r t ai n s or p l aced am on gst th e p i stach i o- col or ed car n at i on s. H i s n am e w as O m ar .

N i ck w as on e of th e l u ck y (unlucky, unlucky, th e tow n sp eop l e cl i cked af ter ) w h o d i d bef r i en d h i m . H e k n ew h i m f or a good si x y ear s, a ti m e h e con si d er ed l on g an d th e t ow n con si d er ed sh or t. O n w eeken d s th ey sh u t th em selves i n O m ar ?s too- l ar ge h ou se an d p u t h i s w or r y i n gly ex p an si ve r ecor d col l ecti on to u se. O n w eek n i gh ts O m ar cou l d be seen l ou n gi n g on th e bal con y r ai l i n g of N i ck ?s ap ar tm en t, cr ad l i n g a gl ass of 2

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som et h i n g p i n k . H i s h ead w as cr an ed u p , f aci n g th e sk y, an d h e sm i l ed at th e star s. T h e ap ar t m en t w as i n a state of sti f l ed or gan i zati on , w h er e d r esser s an d f l oor s w er e kep t f r ee of cl u t t er an d t h e su r r ou n d i n gs w er e d ecor ated sm ar tly bu t th e i n si d es, th e d r aw er s an d t h e cl oset s an d th e boxes u n d er th e bed , w er e i n tan gl ed d i sar r ay. T h e cr am p ed si t ti n g r oom w as u p kep t i n a m an n er h e th ou gh t m atu r e, d ecked ou t i n si lver an d w h i te, h i s bach el or ?s d egr ee f r am ed above th e tw o- seater sof a. T h r ou gh ou t th e ap ar tm en t th e sm el l of eu caly p tu s an d m en th ol h u n g h eav y i n th e ai r , cou r tesy of th e oi n t m en t N i ck r u bbed i n t o h i s ach i n g ar m s an d joi n ts ever y oth er n i gh t.

N i ck w as an ou tsi d er , em p l oy ed at th e tow n ?s on ly sal on / bar ber sh op , w i n n i n g th e job t h e m om en t t h e ow n er cau gh t si gh t of th e i n tr i cate br ai d s w eav i n g acr oss h i s scal p (on es h e h ad p u t i n h i m sel f ). H e w ash ed an d cu t h ai r f or a l i v i n g, an d so h i s ap ar tm en t w as f i l l ed w i t h cl ear bottl es of jew el - col or ed sh am p oos (O m ar , n atu r al ly, w as cap ti v at ed th e f i r st t i m e h e cau gh t si gh t of th em ). N i ck ?s h an d s cr acked an d bl ed each af ter n oon an d h e r ep ai r ed t h e f i ssu r es as best h e cou l d w i th p etr ol eu m jel ly each n i gh t, on ly f or th em t o r eop en t h e com i n g m or n i n g. Cu st om er s soon n oti ced th e d el i gh t h e took i n th e u n ex p ect ed , i n ti l ti n g th ei r h ead s ever y w h i ch w ay i n th e m ost cou n ter - i n tu i ti ve m an n er s i n or d er to w or k h i s m agi c, i n tel l i n g th em an ecd ot es abou t h i s ti m e st u d y i n g at a f ar - aw ay p r esti gi ou s u n i ver si ty. T h ey qu i ck ly l ear n ed th at h e?d p u n i sh th ose w h o sh ow ed u p f or a w ash w i th stu bbor n p r od u ct i n th ei r h ai r w i th i cy w ater an d f ou l - sm el l i n g soap s.

N i ck w as n ot ex actly d i sl i ked i n th e sam e m an n er th at O m ar w as l oved , bu t si x y ear s w as n ot en ou gh t i m e f or th e bod y of th e tow n to w ar m to h i m . O n e cou l d f i n d an y l i st of r eason s f l oat i n g ar ou n d th e p ar k s an d caf e?s: h i s ten d en ci es i n th e bar ber sh op , h i s k n ow - i t - al l at t i t u d e, th e w ay h i s voi ce w as ju st th at bi t l ou d er th an ever y on e el se?s. I t w as a good t h i n g n o on e w as th er e to tel l N i ck abou t h i s f r i en d ?s statu s as bel oved . D esp i t e t h at , N i ck h ad cau gh t th e ey e of m an y, f r om O m ar ?s r ow d y cow or ker s to th e qu i et gi r l w h o w or ked at a cof f ee sh op . T h ose w h o d i d n ot h ave i ssu es w i th h i m tr i ed to r each ou t, t o sh ow t h e t ow n w h at th ey th ou gh t th ey saw i n h i m . A n d so h e w as ch an ged .

T h r ou gh each oth er , N i ck an d O m ar f ou n d th ei r jeal ou si es. Som e n i gh ts N i ck w ou l d ap p ear u n an n ou n ced at O m ar ?s h om e, on ly to star e at th e car n ati on s w h i l e h i s m ou th w at er ed , t r ace th e w i l d sp l ay i n g of th e stem s an d l eaves w i th h i s ey es u n ti l th ey w ou l d r oam an d r ep l i cate th em on th ei r ow n . W h en h e tr i ed to sl eep , f ai n tly l i t gr een l i n es w ou l d t r ack beh i n d h i s ey el i d s. O m ar , th ou gh , sh i ver ed w i th en v y. Som e w eek n i gh ts h e w ou l d f al l si l en t m i d - sen ten ce, m i d - w or d , an d p i ck u p on e of th e jew el - col or ed bott l es, ad m i r i n g i t s p er f ect p osi ti on i n g al on g th e w i n d ow si l l , p i ty i n g N i ck f or h i s i n abi l i t y to r ep l i cat e t h at p er f ecti on el sew h er e, w i sh i n g h e w as th e on e l i v i n g i n th e ti n y ap ar tm en t w i t h t h e m essy d r aw er s an d th e sw eet- sm el l i n g sh am p oos, al l th e w h i l e d am n i n g N i ck f or w h at h e h ad . H e?d p ocketed m or e th an a f ew of th ose bott l es. I t?s only fair, h e th ou gh t as h e cau gh t si gh t of on e of h i s car n at i on s p r op agati n g i n N i ck ?s bath r oom . Som e d ay s h e?d cal l ou t si ck on ly to f ol l ow N i ck ar ou n d , w atch th e ban ter N i ck h el d w i th ever y on e h e m et w i t h a w ater i n g m ou th . O th er s h e?d avoi d h i m at al l costs, bad - m ou t h i n g h i m to w h oever bot h er ed to l i sten .

I n t h e w eek s bef or e, O m ar bem oan ed h i s l on esom en ess, h ow th e vast str etch es of h i s h ou se gr ew l ar ger an d l ar ger w i th each d ay. N i ck l i sten ed p ol i tely an d th ou gh t of h i s ow n ap ar t m en t cl osi n g i n on h i m . H e w asn ?t su r e, bu t h e?d th ou gh t h e?d l ost a r oom i n t h e p ast m on t h . A n d w h i l e O m ar d r on ed on an d on abou t h i s l ack of con n ecti on s, abou t h ow t h e r egu l ar s at th e h ar d w ar e stor e h ad been ou t of tow n an d l ef t h i m al on e, N i ck 2

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t h ou gh t abou t h ow h e?d been l i v i n g i n th e tow n f or si x an d a h al f y ear s an d sti l l n o on e gave h i m so m u ch as a p assi n g gl an ce.

T h ey h ad gr ow n , as al l th i n gs d o. I t so h ap p en ed to be i n d i f f er en t d i r ecti on s. N i ck ?s on ce ju bi l an t voi ce h ad tu r n ed sh r i l l , an d O m ar ?s al l u r i n g qu i etn ess h ad becom e d i scom f or ti n g. Sti l l , th ey r em ai n ed togeth er becau se th ey th ou gh t th ey h ad n o on e el se.

T h at w asn ?t t r u e, of cou r se. Gi ven som e ti m e, th er e w er e n o sh or tage of p eop l e u n w i l l i n g t o bef r i en d th e boi ster ou s f or ei gn er or th e en d ear i n g od d bal l w h o l i ved by th e w ood s.

For som e r eason , th er e w as a f i gh t. N o on e saw an d n o on e h ear d , bu t th ey n ot i ced th e af t er m at h t h r ou gh gap s i n th e bl i n d s an d cu r tai n s, th r ou gh th e qu i et scr u bbi n g at th ei r scal p s or t h e n ear - si l en t d i n g of th e r egi st er . N i ck ?s ap ar tm en t h ad tu r n ed i n si d e- ou t, w i t h ever y h i d d en k n i ck- k n ack an d od d bi t on d i sor d er ly d i sp l ay. O m ar ?s vast h ou se h ad been , f or t h e f i r st ti m e i n a l on g w h i l e, d eep - cl ean ed an d p u t i n p l ace. H e h ad even bu i l t book sh elves. T h e bl am e f l i p - f l op p ed .

N o on e k n ew w h er e N i ck f ou n d th e gu n , n or O m ar th e k n i f e. W h at u n settl ed m ost w as t h e col or of t h e bl ad e: th e d eep cop p er th at m at ch ed O m ar ?s sk i n so m u ch th at , at a f i r st gl an ce, on e cou l d n ?t d i sti n gu i sh betw een h i s h an d an d th e h an d l e.

Ph oto by Gabr i el Ri ccar d i

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T h e H i gh Ro ad L au r en Coss I t?s t h e h ot t est d ay of su m m er an d th e su n i s beati n g d ow n on th e asp h al t ou tsi d e, r ead y t o p ou n ce as soon as I w al k ou t at th e en d of m y sh i f t. M y boss l oves th e h ottest d ay of su m m er , y ou k n ow, si n ce h e ow n s an i ce cr eam sh op an d al l . I h ow ever , d o n ot ap p r eci at e t h e m i d - Ju ly over f l ow of cu stom er s. Som eth i n g th ey n ever tel l y ou i s ju st h ow t i r i n g scoop i n g y ou r 1,0 0 0 th scoop of i ce cr eam i s w h i l e a br at ty f i ve- y ear - ol d w h i n es t o t h ei r m om abou t h ow th ey w an ted 2 scoop s i n stead of 1. Tod ay began ju st l i ke an y ot h er d ay. I bi ked i n to w or k i n th e h ot su n d r en ch ed i n sw eat d r eam i n g of bei n g w el com ed i n t o th e op en ar m s of th e ai r con d i ti on i n g. I ?m op en i n g u p sh op tod ay, an d I can al r ead y see cu stom er s h over i n g ou tsi d e w ai ti n g f or m e to op en u p th e gates of h eaven w h en I f l i p th e si gn i n th e w i n d ow f r om ?Sorry, we?re closed? to ?We?re open!?. I l ock u p m y bi ke an d r u m m age f or th e key i n m y p ocket to u n l ock th e d oor . O n ce I get i t op en , t h e AC i m m ed i ately m akes m e f eel al i ve agai n . I p u l l on m y ?I ce Cr eam Fu n d ae? ap r on , an d t i e a bow i n th e back . I k n ow, th e n am e i s so cu tesy i t al m ost m akes y ou w an t t o p u ke, d oesn ?t i t. I w i p e d ow n th e cou n ter , tu r n on th e l i gh ts, take th e l i d s of al l th e f l avor s, cl ean t h e scoop er s, an d r ef i l l th e top p i n gs bef or e I am f i n al ly r ead y to op en u p sh op . I w al k u p to th e d oor , an d to th e cu stom er s d el i gh t, I tu r n th e si gn , an d I ce Cr eam Fu n d ae i s op en agai n . A s I am w al k i n g back beh i n d th e cou n ter , I h ear th e l i ttl e tw i n k l e of t h e bel l t h at th e d oor m akes w h en i t?s op en ed . I p r ep ar e m y sel f f or a ver y l on g sol o sh i f t ? M er ed i t h i s su p p osed to be h er e, bu t w e both k n ow sh e n ever sh ow s u p . I tu r n ar ou n d t o gr eet th e cu stom er an d th e sh ock of f am i l i ar i ty p u l ses th r ou gh m y vei n s.

Fr om ju st t h at on e gl an ce, I w as i n stan tly sh ot back to a ti m e bef or e. Even bef or e I t ot al ed m y car an d w as f or ced to take scor ch i n g h ot bi ke r i d es to w or k ever y d ay. So l i ke, 3 m on t h s bef or e. I t al l w ash es over m e i n ju st on e i n stan t. T h e oh - so- r om an ti c f i r st d ate at T GI Fr i d ay s. T h e ti m e h e f el l an d br oke h i s an k l e at th e r ol l er r i n k (w h i ch w as f r om get t i n g t oo exci ted w h en th ey tu r n ed on ?Pl ay th at Fu n k y M u si c? by th e w ay ). Even th e t i m e w e sn u ck i n to th at cou n tr y cl u b togeth er an d p r eten d ed to be ?M r . an d M s.

Bar f m en ? an d p u t sh r i m p cock tai l an d f an cy w i n e ?on th e tab? al l n i gh t. A n d f i n al ly, I r em em ber t h e ti m e h e tol d m e h e l oved m e an d I th ou gh t h e m ean t i t. You k n ow, I d on ?t con si d er m y sel f ver y p i ck y. T h er e ar e l ots of th i n gs I w ou l d h ave been h ap p y to get on m y 1 y ear an n i ver sar y. M ay be som e f l ow er s, a d ate, jew el r y, or even ju st a car d al l w ou l d h ave been h ap p i ly r ecei ved . T h e on e th i n g I p er son al ly d i d n ?t w an t f or m y an n i ver sar y w as to w al k i n on h i m ch eati n g on m e w h i l e I w as on m y w ay to gi ve h i m h i s gi f t an d h om em ad e cake. You k n ow, I ch ose th e h i gh r oad th at d ay. I w an ted n ot h i n g m or e t h an t o sm ash th at cake i n h i s d i sgu sti n g l i ttl e f ace. I n stead , I w al ked aw ay an d ate t h at cake m y sel f , cr y i n g i n m y d or m w i th m y f l u ster ed r oom m ate by m y si d e. Yet h er e h e i s, i n my p l ace of w or k . Q u i te som e n er ve, d on ?t y a th i n k ? I r eal i ze th at I h ave been st an d i n g h er e, f r ozen , star i n g f or god k n ow s h ow l on g. I sn ap back i n to i t ju st i n ti m e to h ear h i m say ?h i I v y ? i n th at cl assi cal ly m an i p u l ati ve w ay h e alw ay s d oes. W h o d oes th i s m an t h i n k h e i s? I i gn or e h i s gr eeti n g an d p u t on m y f akest, m ost p assi ve aggr essi ve cu st om er ser v i ce voi ce an d say ?w h at can I get f or y a?? I sm i l e w i th cl osed l i p s an d ey es t h at cou l d bi t e. H e or d er s a l ar ge d ai r y f r ee ch ocol ate m i l k sh ake. ?Com i n g r i gh t u p ,? I say i n a voi ce so sw eet i t cou l d ?ve gi ven an y on e a cav i ty. W ow, I h ad f or gotten . H e i s l act ose i n t ol er an t, al l er gi c to n u ts, an d al l er gi c to cats. H e tr u ly i s th e w eakest l i n k . I w al k i n t o t h e back w h er e w e keep th e sp eci al ty f l avor s an d I h ear h i m cal l ou t to m e as I w al k 2

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aw ay say i n g, ?I v y, l i sten I ju st w an t to tal k .? W h at on ear th cou l d h e w an t to tal k to m e abou t? M ay be t h e f act th at h e h ad been ch eati n g on m e f or over tw o m on th s? I p u t th e i ce cr eam i n t o th e bl en d er an d tu r n i t on f u l l bl ast to d r ow n ou t th e sou n d of h i s ti n n y voi ce. I p ou r t h e m i l k sh ake i n to th e Sty r of oam cu p an d gr i n a m al i ci ou s gr i n f r om ear t o ear . I w al k back ou t h ol d i n g th e m i l k sh ake m u ch too ti gh t. I gr ab a str aw, an d say t h at ?ll be $3. H e h an d s m e th e bi l l s, y am m er i n g on abou t h ow h e i s sor r y, an d h ow i f I t ake h i m back h e w ou l d be better th i s ti m e. I i gn or e i t al l . I take a d eep br eath , l ook u p at h i m , an d sm i l e. I h an d h i m th e m i l k sh ake, an d say, ?L eave n ow, en joy th e r est of y ou r d ay !? H e r el u ct an tly w al k s ou t, m i l k sh ake i n h an d . N ow y ou m ay be i m p r essed , p r ou d even t h at I h ave taken th e h i gh r oad f or th e secon d ti m e. I m ean , h ow m atu r e i t w as f or m e t o h ave r esi sted th e u r ge of th r ow i n g th at m i l k sh ake on h i s h el p l ess f ace. A n d y ou k n ow w h at , y ou ?r e r i gh t. I th i n k I sh ou l d get cr ed i t f or r esi sti n g th at u r ge. I m ean , i t cou l d h ave been p u r ely acci d en tal th at I u sed r egu l ar i ce cr eam i n th i s p oor sever ely l act ose i n t ol er an t m an ?s m i l k sh ake. I bet h e?ll f eel sor r y w h en h e i s keel ed over on th e t oi l et t on i gh t . Bu t y ou k n ow w h at? I f h e cal l s to com p l ai n I ?ll ju st say th e sam e th i n g h e sai d t o m e t h e n i gh t I f ou n d ou t h e w as ch eati n g. ?Ever y on e m akes m i stakes!? So y eah , w h i l e t h e h i gh r oad i s gr eat an d al l , f or tod ay I th i n k m y w ay w or ked ju st a l i ttl e bi t bet t er .

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A huge thank you to our I nklings: Ad el e Gol d ad er , Foti n i M ou r el atos, Bl ake Ri esen f el d , Sean M cGof f , D ar i a Sh ep el av y, L ei gh N ew m an , Gr ace Sch l egel , K ati a Cam p os an d M s.

N ovo

_ Acknowledgments: Fi r st an d f or em ost, w e w ou l d l i ke to gi ve a si n cer e th an k s to ou r cl u b ad v i sor , M s.

N ovo. W e w ou l d be l ost w i th ou t h er car ef u l car e, atten ti on , an d r em i n d er s to get ou r w or k d on e. So m an y gen er ati on s of I N K h ave f l ou r i sh ed u n d er n eath h er l ead er sh i p an d w e ar e con f i d en t th at f u tu r e cl asses w i l l too.

A bi g t h an k s to ou r I n k l i n gs f or ever y th i n g th ey 've d on e; atten d ed m eeti n gs, com p i l ed w or k s, cr eated cover s, con tr i bu ted w or k . Best of l u ck i n y ou r f u tu r e en d eavor s!

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